The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – FX

Created Louis C.K.

Theme song: “Brother Louie” written by Errol Brown and Anthony Wilson, performed by Ian Lloyd

• 001. Pilot – 6/29/2010
  • Louie C.K. (himself) is a divorced comedian raising two young daughters named Lilly (Hadley Delany) and Jane (Ashley Gerasimovich). He talks about his life while performing at the Comedy Cellar nightclub. He helps chaperone a field trip for Lillie’s class to the Bronx Botanical Garden and runs afoul of the bus driver (William Stephenson), who has no idea how to get there and ends up abandoning the bus in Harlem. The teacher (Ashlie Atkinson) wants to take the kids to the nearest subway station, but Louie hires limos to come pick up the kids and take them home. Later Louie goes on a first date with a girl (Chelsea Peretti), which goes terribly. He runs into her naked neighbor (Kathleen Butler) when he goes to pick her up, they end up at a cheap pizza place for dinner, and the girl mistakes Louie for a man who bangs on the bathroom door when she uses the restroom. When he tries to kiss her, she runs away and leaves in a helicopter. 10/10/14

• 002. Poker/Divorce – 6/29/2010
  • Louie plays poker with fellow stand-up comedians Jim Norton, Rick Crom, Nick Di Paolo (himself), Hannibal Buress (himself), and Eddie Brill (himself). Rick is the only gay comedian in the group, and he explains the origin of the word “faggot” and talks about a nightclub called City Jerks. After his divorce is finalized, Louie’s brother Bobby (Robert Kelly) basically tells him that his life is hopeless. Louie looks up an old love interest named Tammy (Kim Barlow) and visits her, recalling the time she told him to “whip it out.” She has gained weight and is now married, but before he leaves, they kiss passionately. Max Behren is young Louie; Nicole Ehinger is young Tammy. 10/10/14
• 003. Dr. Ben/Nick – 7/6/2010
  • Louie laments about his health during his routine, then goes to see Dr. Ben (Ricky Gervais), an old high school friend. The nurse barely lets him in, but once the doctor sees him, he can only crack jokes while giving him a rectal exam. Back at the Comedy Cellar, Louie talks about how offensive the phrase “Indan Giver” is, then accuses a waitress of being racist because she says that black customers do not tip. Fellow comedian Nick Di Paolo belittles President Obama in his act, which leads to a fight between Louie and him. Nick ends up cutting his hand as they scuffle, so Louie accompanies him to the hospital, where they discuss life. Back at stand-up, Louie talks about how a country girl reacts to the homeless. Dr. Ben calls to tell Louie that he has “big fat ginger ugly-itis.” Todd Barry is Todd. 11/6/14
• 004. So Old/Playdate – 7/13/2010
  • A girl in her twenties named Trisha (Elizabeth Hower) approaches Louie after his show and tells her that she’s attracted to older guys. During sex, she makes him talk about how old he is. During his stand-up routine, Louie talks about how silly the sex drive is, especially when viewed by other animals. Louie attends a PTA meeting and gets shunned when he says that school sucks. Louie arranges a playdate with Pamela (Pamela Adlon), one of the other parents, with her son Serge (Tatsuya Rivera). They hit it off over wine, even though she confesses that she often fantasizes about punching her son and falls asleep on his couch. Louie’s therapist (David Patrick Kelly) calls him fat. Bobby Cannavale is Chris. 11/6/14
• 005. Travel Day/South – 7/20/2010
  • Louie talks about entitlement during his stand-up routine, then witnesses two cab drivers get into a fight over his business and a customer have a meltdown at the airport. His flight to Birmingham is canceled when his plane crashes on the way from Miami, and he is re-booked. The TSA questions his carry-on lubricant. He sits next to a fat guy and the plane nearly crashes. His show bombs when he is heckled off the stage. Later at a restaurant he meets Curtis (Ben Jeffrey) and his sister Doreen (Elizabeth Morton) who is a huge fan. When Louie leaves, Curtis stalks him with a gun and is hit over the head by a Sheriff (Dan Ziskie), who then requests and receives a kiss on the lips from Louie. 12/9/14
• 006. Heckler/Cop Movie – 7/27/2010
  • Louie’s act concerns the brain not knowing that the stomach is full for twenty minutes. During his act, he gets heckled by a chatty woman (Megan Hilty) in the audience. Louie pulls no punches in insulting her, and she confronts him after the show where they continue to argue…and Louie misses his chance to ask her out. Louie goes to see his agent Simon (Gerry Vichi), who has gotten Louie a part in a Jewish remake of The Godfather starring Matthew Broderick (himself). Louie refuses the part and Simon has a heart attack, so out of guilt, he agrees to appear as a cop. He repeatedly flubs his line to the irritation of Broderick, who tells him to take a walk and collect his thoughts. He roams into a convenience store that gets robbed. He tries to be a hero, but his fake gun is only half of a gun…but the robber’s gun turns out to be fake too. Hayley Podschun is Simon’s secretary Laurie. 12/9/14
• 007. Double Date/Mom – 8/3/2010
  • Louie’s brother Robbie asks Louie to participate in a threesome with him and his girlfriend because that is the only way she will have sex. Louie responds by telling him that he’s not going to talk to him for three weeks. Later Louie’s mother Dorethy (Mary Louise Wilson) arrives in town and expects Louie to drop everything to visit with her. Louie hasn’t spoken with her in over a year after he and his daughters shows up for Christmas and she had gone out of state with a better offer. After having to leave one restaurant because the menu wasn’t printed large enough, the go to another where she announces to Louie that she has become a lesbian. Louie reads her the riot act for her treatment of him, causing her to break down and cry. Robbie doesn’t take the news well and fears that he may have ‘gay genes’. Dorethy meets with both brothers to meet her girlfriend Jasmine (Ana Kayne), who is younger and hotter than anyone they’ve ever dated. Robbie ends up crying when his mother won’t tell him that she loves him, and Dorethy leaves the table, leaving Jasmine behind. Ursula Parker takes over the role of Jane. 1/21/15
• 008. Dogpound – 8/10/2010
  • After his daughters go back to their mother for a week, Louie gets depressed. Pamela suggests he seize the opportunity to do something fun to which he degrees, but he gets sidetracked by ice cream and ends up eating several cartons plus a lot of pizza. Robbie suggests he use his jump rope to exercise, but after one jump, he smells pot coming from the next-door apartment so he goes over to confront the neighbor Jeff (Josh Hamilton). Louie ends up smoking pot with him and hallucinating. In the wake of his hangover, he goes to get coffee, and everyone sounds like they are speaking gibberish. Louie decides to get a dog from the pound. After seeing the pound volunteer (Tracee Chimo) petting an old dog oddly, he takes him home. Before Louie can give him water, the dog dies. 1/21/15
• 009. Bully – 8/17/2010
  • Louie recalls his childhood confusion about sex and flashes back to when his father (Abraham Alvarez) talked to him as a young boy about how to pleasure a woman and makes him repeat it back, and how his teacher (Nancy Shayne) called him to the front of the class to point out the penis. Louie takes his date Sandra (Amy Landecker) to a coffee shop where he tells a group a teenagers to be quiet and gets threatened by a high school bully named Sean (Michael Drayer). Louie backs down from fighting and is then criticized by Sandra, who then calls him a loser. Louie ends the date and then follows Sean back to his house and tells his parents Mike (Danny Burstein) and Grace (Elena McGhee) what Sean did. When Mike hits Sean, Louie criticizes him and is thrown out by Grace. Mike then comes outside and chats with Louie about life and kids. 3/11/15
• 010. Dentist/Tarese – 8/24/2010
  • Louie talks about the public’s hatred of child molestation and how it causes more deaths. Louie visits dentist Dr. Hepa (Stephen Root) who happens to be a dental-phobe himself. Hepa gives him a pill, gas, and Saudi Arabian music. He has a vision of being in the desert and meeting Osama Bin Laden (Chuck Sklar) and they have a moral discussion about 9/11 whereby Louie convinces him and his men out of being terrorists. Then he has a vision that the doctor is feeding him an unpeeled banana that he isn’t supposed to bite on but wakes up in the dentist chair with doctor frantically zipping up his pants. Louie is attracted to his grocery store check-out girl Tarese (Adepero Oduye) and buys her flowers, but she isn’t interested and calls the manager (Mando Alvarado) to give him a refund. After she gets off work, he asks her out and follows her across town, but she remains uninterested. However, he ends up sleeping with her sister (Bonita Elery). 3/11/15
• 011. God – 8/31/2010
  • Louie encounters a man (Christopher Clark Gates) perfectly willing to put his penis into a hole in the wall of a bathroom of a restroom because graffiti states that it is ‘heaven.’ During his stand-up, Louie mocks God and the story of Abraham. In a flashback young Louie (Sawyer Swanson) is subjected along with other students by a nun (Ann Dowd) to a detailed account of the pains that Jesus suffered during the crucifixion by a Dr. Haveford (Tom Noonan). After having nightmares, Louie tries to rescue the Jesus figure at the church and his mother (Amy Landecker) is called in. Louie’s mom confesses to Louie that she is really not a believer and lets him withdrawal from the school… and immediately her car won’t start. Louie’s stand-up talks about taking the Lord’s name in vain. 5/30/15
• 012. Gym – 9/7/2010
  • Louie has strange dreams about Liz Ciani (Kate Gilligan) the local Channel 4 news anchor but can’t manage to have sex with her before getting woken up. Louie finally asks Pamela on a date to sleep with him, but she turns him down. Louie talks about taking his kids to the restroom at the airport. Louie realizes he needs some exercise so he goes to the gym under the tutelage of Chris and winds up at the hospital with a heart trauma, where Dr. Drake (Stephen Bradbury) joins Dr. Ben in playing jokes on Louie. Ben advises him not to try exercising anymore, and simply resign himself to dying early. 5/30/15
• 013. Night Out – 9/7/2010
  • Louie’s date with Lisa (Kelly Deadmon) is going well even when she tells him that she has a son, but then when Louie reveals he has two daughters, she bails out. Louie has trouble getting his girls to go to sleep and does a comic routine about it. Louie hires his highly emotional babysitter Karen (Ann Carr) but then can’t think of anywhere to go but heads out when Karen cries and pleads with him that he needs to get a life. His friend Nick advises him to hang out with the black comics because they get all the action. He joins Ardie Fuqua (himself) and Godfrey (himself) and they take two ladies to a nightclub. Louie can’t hear a thing anyone is saying and ends up getting slapped before leaving. He spends the rest of his night doing a set at the East Ville Comedy Club thanks to his friend (Ted Alexandro) who works there. He gets home at 4am, releases Karen, and then takes his daughters out for pancakes. 7/18/15

SEASON 2

• 014. Pregnant – 6/23/2011
  • As Louie brushes Jane’s teeth, she tells him that she likes her mom better than him. Louie does a bit about how to deal with the five-year-old and nine-year-old’s age gap. Louie has to explain to Jane how not everything in life is equal and fair. Louie’s single pregnant sister Gretchen (Rusty Schwimmer) comes for a visit and explains how she has been artificially inseminated now that she’s in her forties. In the middle of the night, she wakes up screaming at the top of her lungs. Louie’s gay neighbors Pedro (Yul Vazquez) and Peter (Roderick Hill) assists Louie in getting her to the hospital. When she arrives, she realizes that she merely has gas. Louie bonds with Pedro, and then does a routine about making a new friend. 7/18/15
• 015. Bummer/Blueberries – 6/30/2011
  • Louie does a comedy routine about why he keeps his shirt on during sex. Later he asks out a girl named Janice (Kelly McCrann) for a movie, who accepts the date thinking it might help her career. On his way to the date, he witnesses a hobo (Munro M. Bonnell) run crazily into the street and get decapitated by a bus. During the date, Louie gets philosophical about life and death and impresses Janice, but once she finds out about the decapitation, she freaks out and goes home. After being criticized by Jane’s teacher Miss Hernandez (Liza Colon-Zayas), one of the neurotic P.T.A. mothers named Delores (Maria Dizzia) offers Louie a one-night stand. Things get strange when she asks him to go pick up her vaginal medicine and some blueberries before they have sex. Then she asks to be spanked, and ends up breaking down crying. 10/11/15
• 016. Moving – 7/7/2011
  • Louie realizes that he is still living in the same apartment where he lived with his ex-wife and decides that it is time to move. He takes Pamela with him apartment hunting but gets freaked out when the apartment he looks at still has someone living in it, there is a toilet in the kitchen, and he witnesses some strange activity apparently with the mob and a hobo. A realtor named Gloria (Donna Hanover) shows him a 17-million-dollar home that Louie decides that he wants, but his accountant Ken (Peter Benson) gives him a reality check. Shafik Bahou is Shai. 10/13/15
• 017. Joan – 7/14/2011
  • Louie talks about his perpetual diarrhea in his act. He then goes home and attempts to order food from the Sunshine Deli and winds up with 60 bananas thanks to a manager he cannot understand (Demosthenes Chrysan). His call to the deli is interrupted by a call from his sobbing sister Karleen Walter (Lisa Emery). Louie later reports to work doing stand-up in the lounge of a Trump casino in Atlantic City. When the audience is unreceptive, he starts to bash Trump and gambling, and is forced to quit when the casino manager Sam (Jack O’Connell) points out that his contract stipulates that he won’t disparage those things. Louie then wanders into to the casino theater and catches some of Joan Rivers’ (herself) act. Joan invites him to her suite to talk, and she gives him advice on why never to quit a job, describing stand-up comedy as a ‘calling’. Louie tries to kiss her and she rebuffs him, then agrees to sleep with him if he won’t tell anyone. 12/16/15
• 018. Country Drive – 7/21/2011
  • Louie heads out to the country in Pennsylvania with Lillie and Jane to visit with his 97-year-old Aunt Ellen (Eunice Anderson). The girls are bored stiff, but Louie enjoys rocking out to Who Are You by The Who. Ellen is very slow moving when they arrive, and Louie is quickly embarrassed when she uses racial slurs around the girls. Then she dies in the kitchen. Louie does a stand-up act about reading his kids Huckleberry Finn and how many racial slurs are in it. 12/16/15
• 019. Subway/Pamela – 7/28/2011
  • After leaving a show at the Comedy Cellar, Louie heads to the subway where he witnesses a finely dressed man (Filip Pogady) playing a classical number on a violin, and a homeless man (Louis Iacovino) attempting to bathe behind him. While on the subway Louie takes notes for his act about things he overhears and then fantasizes about impressing everyone on the subway by cleaning a disgusting liquid off one of the seats. Louie takes Pamela to a hip restaurant and finally makes her laugh, but later she refuses to let him put his arm around her. He insists on telling her that he is in love with her and she is touched by it, although she just wants to remain friends. When they get back to her apartment, she asks Louie to take a bath, but he decides to leave. Once he is out the door, he calls her up to clarify what she had said, to which she says that he blew it by leaving and it will never happen again. From her apartment, she can hear him screaming.  2/18/16
• 020. Oh Louie/Tickets – 8/4/2011
  • In a flashback, Louie stars on the sitcom Oh Louie, but is sickened by its unrealistic sappiness and ends up quitting, leaving his co-star TV wife (Heidi Armbruster) and fellow actor Bob Saget (himself) behind. He goes home and tells his infant daughter Lily that her father is a comedian, and he just couldn’t do the sitcom. During his stand-up routine, he discusses a former girlfriend who killed herself two years after having oral sex with him. In the present, Louie presents Lily tickets to the Sabrina Bubble concert for her tenth birthday. Lily seems disappointed and admits to liking Lady Gaga better. Louie mentions this to his promoter Doug (Edward Gelbinovich), who then gets Doug backstage passes to see fellow comedian Dane Cook (himself), who has the same promoter as Lady Gaga. He arrives at the show and after going through an obscene amount of security, he gets to Dane, who says he will get the tickets with the stipulation that Louie go on YouTube and admit that Dane never stole any of Louie’s jokes. Louie admits that although he has never said that he did, he also hasn’t squelched the rumor because he thinks that Dane did in fact subconsciously steal his jokes. Dane agrees to get Louie the tickets anyway, but also advises Louie that 10-years old girls like gifts in boxes, not envelopes. Louie presents Lily with a gift in a box, to which Lily reacts unenthusiastically. Jim Norton appears as himself backstage at Dane’s show. Maury Ginsberg is Barry. 2/18/16
• 021. Come On, God – 8/11/2011
  • Louie goes on The Greg Gutfeld (himself) Show to counter the arguments of an attractive Bible-thumper named Ellen Farber (Liz Holton), who represents Christians Against Masturbation. Louie uses comedy and his love of masturbation to counter her arguments, even if rudely. Ellen is still kind to him, but he ends up walking off the show. At home, he fantasizes about a woman (Angela Struck) he met in the elevator, and then heads to a meeting of C.A.M. After the meeting, Ellen asks Louie out for a drink and then back to her apartment. He connects with her and tries to put the moves on her, but she convinces him how much better it would be to get to know someone and then later lose their virginity after marriage. Her description of their eventual intimacy sends him straight to the bathroom to pleasure himself, passing gas loudly, just as he had done during his first time. 5/18/16
• 022. Eddie – 8/11/2011
  • Louie does a set about how bad off some people are and finds that one of his old comedian friends Eddie Mack (Doug Stanhope), who he hasn’t seen in twenty years, is waiting to talk to him. Louie recounts that as his younger self (Patrick Holden O’Neill), he and Eddie (Nick Cocher) went into comedy together and eventually Louie found success, which ticked Eddie off. Eddie is immediately rude to fellow comedian Greg Rogell (himself), and as the night progresses, he becomes increasingly more annoying, drinking in the store and being rude to the store clerk (Rene Ojeda), and then suggesting that they visit an open mic night where they watch several mediocre comedians (Chris Gethard, Leo Goodman, Rhonda Hansome, Santos, Aziza Miulli). Eddie then takes the stage and delivers a filthy bit. After the show, Eddie becomes more insulting toward Louie, and eventually confesses to Louie that he plans to kill himself with some potent medication that the doctor gave him, thinking that the doctor was hinting that’s what he should you. Louie starts to talk him out of it… but then refuses to give him a reason to live, telling him only that he hopes he doesn’t kill himself but he has to go home. William Stephenson is the Comedy Cellar emcee. 5/18/16 
• 023. Halloween/Ellie – 8/18/2011
  • Louie does a comedy routine about his daughters complaining about simple things while other kids are starving. Later he takes both his daughters out for trick-or-treat to New York stores. Jane goes as a fairy and Lillie goes as Frederick Douglas. When Louie lets them stay out later than normal, they are harassed by two things, one dressed as a goblin (Will Janowitz) and one a giant (Kevin Nagle). Jane stands up to them and Louie breaks a business window to make them flee. Later scriptwriter Eddie Faye (Grant Shaud) hosts a round table of comedians to work on the script for the movie Out of Here. Louie puts forth some good ideas, and is noticed by Ellie Bormer (Veanne Cox), the vice president of Paramount Pictures. She takes Louie out to eat and excitedly asks for some ideas for some movies. When he puts forth his idea of a man whose luck goes from bad to worse, she starts to get bored, leaves the table, and goes and sits with some other colleagues. Amir Blumenfeld is the young nervous writer. Louie does a comedy bit about a friend who said he never masturbated, and about the time he farted into a pillow repeatedly. Joe DeRose is Evan. Alan Muraoka is Jordan. 8/18/16
• 024. Duckling – 8/25/2011
  • Louie does a stand-up routine about ducks, and later Jane’s teacher Miss Hernandez tells Louie that it his turn to take home a box of ducklings that night, the eve of him going to Afghanistan on a USO tour with folk singer Keni Thomas (himself) and cheerleaders Jamie (Lilly Robbins) and Ashley (Ashton Landgraf). After being briefed by the General (Don Pugsley), Louie drops his things off in his room and finds that Lillie has packed him a duckling to keep him safe. They head to Alpha Camp and entertain about 1000 troops, as Keni performs the song Hero, and Louie does a routine about his testicles. Louie has an obvious crush on the 19-year-old Jamie, who finds him alternately sweet and disgusting, criticizing his off-color material. She is also charmed by his duckling. Then they all head via Blackhawk helicopter to an FOB – Forward Operating Base – in a remote area and entertain a small number of soldiers inside a tent. Keni sings Circle in the Cross and Louie entertains them by making fun of Buffalo. Louie joins them in playing some soccer and is visibly disturbed about their living condition. As they head out, their chopper has mechanical problems, and they are forced to land. On the ground, they encounter a small group of armed locals, and their confrontation begins to escalate with all parties pulling their weapons. When Louie’s duckling starts running toward them and Louie falls down chasing it, the tension breaks and everyone joins in with a laugh. They all socialize together, and Keni sings them Another Mexico Song. As they leave, Louie gives the duckling to one of the Afghan girls. Todd Glass is the USO emcee. Fahim Fazli is an Afghan local. NOTE: This episode is 41 minutes. 8/19/16
• 025. Niece – 9/1/2011
  • After doing a set in which he criticizes twenty-year olds for taking all of their lives and then hating their jobs, Louie goes to meet his sister Karleen and niece Amy (Gideon Adlon) visiting from Boston. Karleen however says she need to go to Philadelphia and that she can’t take Amy, so Louie is forced to keep her. Amy has the bad habit of walking away from Louie, locking herself in her room, and not eating. Louie takes her to Fontana’s indie rock club, and then agrees to perform a comedy set for her, but her suggestion that he interact with the audience flops. They chat with comedians Todd, Nick, and Godfrey, with whom she really connects, and who gives Louie advice to have empathy. Louie and Amy disagree on the way home as to whether he should give money to a homeless man (Marko), and Louie ends up carrying her home when she falls asleep. After she goes to bed, Louie gets a call from a woman (Pamela Adlon) that Karleen has been checked into a Mercy Hospital in Philadelphia for observation after being pulled from a public fountain acting irrationally, and Louie agrees that he will retain custody of Amy while she is there. 11/4/16
• 026. New Jersey/Airport – 9/11/2011
  • After doing a successful set about what it’s like to be woken up by his kids, fellow comedian Steven Wright (himself) insists that Louie wait around at the club and pick up a woman. This is largely unsuccessful until he leaves and is invited into the car of a woman named Eunice (Jenn Lyon), who drives him to her place in New Jersey, where Louie finds that she has a husband named Jonathan (F. Murray Abraham) who wants to join in with the sex. Louie refuses and is thrown out, and not knowing where he is calls Chris Rock (himself) to come pick him up. Chris takes Louie back to his house where he is berated by Chris’s wife (Kim Sykes) and lectured to by Chris. Later Louie takes Pamela to the airport so that she can fly to Paris to re-join the father of her kid, who wants to live with his dad. Louie is heartbroken, but Pamela assures him that he never had a chance with her anyway. She feels bad as she leaves and calls out to Louie to at least wave to her. Louie misinterprets what she says and thinks she is asking him to ‘wait for her.’ Louie wholeheartedly agrees to. Louie does a bit about how poorly he eats and how his body reacts. 11/5/16

SEASON 3

• 027. Something Is Wrong – 6/28/2012
  • Louie talks about his failing eyesight and how it affects his masturbating, as well as getting a penis upgrade. Later he meets with his current girlfriend April (Gaby Hoffmann) and she is able to deduce that he wants to break up from his body language, so she makes it easy and breaks it off to him, much to his relief. Louie has parked outside in a questionable zone, and when he leaves the restaurant, he witnesses his car get smashed by a bulldozer. Louie is talked into purchasing a motorcycle by a non-enthusiastic salesman (Stivi Paskoski), which he promptly crashes. He calls his ex-wife Janet (Susan Kelechi Watson) from the hospital to tell her that he can’t pick up the kids, much to her and her boyfriend Patrick’s (Gary Wilmes) irritation. Louie is released but has a hard time moving around. When April stops by to pick up her laptop, she takes care of Louie, who invites her to stay with him. She calls him out that he is just feeling guilty and storms out…much to his relief. Steven Cambria is the other unsure man staring at the parking signs. Peter Y. Kim is the doctor. Adam Sietz is the job foreman. Maxine Prescott is the old woman. 2/10/17
• 028. Telling Jokes/Set Up – 7/5/2012
  • Lilly and Jane tell Louie a series of childish jokes, one of which he talks about in his stand-up routine. Fellow comedian Allan Havey (himself) and his wife Debbie (Larisa Polonsky) invite Louie over for dinner, and upon arrival at the same time with a woman named Laurie (Melissa Leo) whom he saw at the wine store, they both realize it is a set up. Laurie is very cold to Louie, and when Allan and Debbie start to fight with each other, they leave together to go get a drink. They both share the same ideals about not getting married and seem to hit it off. Laurie drives to an alley and gives Louie oral sex, but when she asks that he return the favor, he says he doesn’t feel ready for that. She gets angry and bets him $1000 that he will do it anyway, then accuses him of being gay, punches him in the face, and forces his head under her dress. She says he owes her $1000, and Louie agrees to go on another date with her. John Quilty is the wine store guy. 2/13/17
• 029. Miami – 7/12/2012
  • Louie flies into Miami to do a set at a hotel and is visibly uncomfortable on the beach amidst the sculpted, young bodies… so he heads back to his room for a hamburger. Once the sun goes down, he returns for a swim while the older crowd is out, and when his beach chair containing his belongings is picked up, his cries to the worker are mistaken by the Cuban American lifeguard Ramon (Miguel Gomez) for him drowning. After he ‘rescues’ Louie, he comes to see Louie’s set and the two chat after the set. The next morning Ramon runs into Louie having breakfast and invites him to attend a big party held by his family. Louie has a great time and has to be rushed to his set by Ramon and his friends when he stays at the party too long. Louie bids farewell to Ramon, but then runs it past Janet to see if she can keep the girls a few extra days so he can stay longer. Janet assumes that Louie has met a woman. When Louie shows up to see Ramon on the beach, the two go swimming together, but afterward share an uncomfortable conversation about why Louie ended up staying longer. Louie is unable to verbalize the fact that he is in fact not gay. Louie and Ramon bid farewell for good this time. Louie does a routine about how heterosexual men are the only people who worry about being mistaken for anything but. Haley Higgins is the woman who steals Louie’s strawberry. Benhur Sito Barrero is Benny. Carmen Lopez is Ramon’s mother. Hector Martinez is Hector. Rolando Zaragoza is Uncle Chavo. 5/23/17
• 030. Daddy’s Girlfriend: Part 1 – 7/19/2012
  • Louie does a routine about teaching his daughter about prejudice. Later his daughters mention their mother’s boyfriend Patrick and ask him why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. At the Comedy Cellar Louie hooks up with comedienne Maria Bamford (herself) and they sleep together, but Maria is completely uninterested in meeting Louie’s kids. Louie finds himself eyeballing all the teachers (Sarah Ellis, Darlene Violette) at his girls’ school, then he wanders into a bookstore and flirts with a clerk named Liz (Parker Posey), as she helps him pick out a book for Lily. He later returns to the store to seek help for another book and ends up building up the courage to ask her out, using his self-effacing method which she applauds. Louie is ecstatic to have gotten a date with her. Reality show contestants are Michael Cyril Creighton, Evan Wadle, Kailie Torres, Dee Morris, Lauren Francesca, and Ali Stover. Matthew Lang is the bookstore employee. 5/24/17
• 031. Daddy’s Girlfriend: Part 2 – 7/26/2012
  • After Louie does a stand-up routine about how women have a tough time constantly being lusted over by men, he goes on a date with Liz. They start at a bar, but when the bartender (Rachel Stern) won’t serve her because of previous incidents, she and Louie walk the streets of New York. She gives him an earful as they walk, talking about how she battled cancer as a kid, then makes him try on a dress in a store. They finally tell each other their names, but she lies and says her name is Tape Recorder. Then they eat at an appetizer bar, and when Louie gives a homeless man (Casey Siemaszko) a leftover sandwich, Liz decides to talk to the man and finds out that he sees snakes everywhere. They take him and buy him his medicine and rent a motel room for him. Liz then forces Louie to climb the stairs of an apartment building all the way to the top where they come out on the roof. He gets worried when she gets to close the edge and begs her to back up, but she tells him that he is only scared because part of him would want to jump, but that she doesn’t because she’s having too good of a time. Louie starts to fall under her spell, but then she becomes distant and distracted and asks to go home…and finally tells him her real name. Matthew Lang is the bookstore employee. 1/16/18
• 032. Barney/Never – 8/2/2012
  • Louie visits the burial of an acquaintance named Barney Ross and runs into Robin Williams (himself) at the gravesite. They end up at a diner discussing how much they hated Barney, who was a mean leech, thief, and liar. In Barney’s honor they go to a strip club that Barney has always asked them to frequent, but neither wants to dance with the strippers. However, when they tell the strippers that Barney has died, the strippers (Ally Gordon, Minnie Lee, Faina Reinhardt, Whitney White) and emcee (Jay Oakerson) all are devastated, which cracks them up after they leave. Later one of the school moms Nancy Cartesian (Nancy Shayne) asks Louie to babysit her son Never (Jeremy Shinder) while she has her vagina removed. Nancy tells Louie that she never says no to Never, whom Lilly wants to avoid completely. Never then pushes a baby in a stroller into the street causing an accident with a chemical truck. Louie also is told that Never can’t eat anything with carbon in it, so he feeds him raw meat. As Louie’s promoter Doug calls him to do a radio interview for his upcoming show in Kansas City, Never throws Louie’s rug out the window. Never takes a bath while Louie does the radio show with people named Tracer (Anthony Cumia), Pig (Jim Norton), and Diane (Amy Schumer), who speak in gibberish, but when Louie insults Kansas City, they hang up on him. Never then has diarrhea in the bathtub. J.B. Smoove and McKinley Belcher III are gravediggers. Uma Inroccie is the rug thief. Gregg Hughes is the voice of Jeff, the radio show promoter. Artie Lange is the truck driver. Lulu Wilson is the little girl. 1/16/18
• 033. Ikea/Piano Lesson – 8/9/2012
  • Delores approaches Louie and asks him to come to her therapist since she is having residual effects from their last date. He refuses, so she asks him to help her at IKEA instead, offering a blowjob in return. He goes with her but she drives him to the point of yelling and being sarcastic at her. She breaks down in the middle of IKEA so he puts her to bed in one of the floor sale beds. She offers the blowjob, but he refuses. Later Louie attempts to take piano lessons from a woman named Doris (Karyn Quackenbush), but the lesson is quickly interrupted when he gets a call from Maria Bamford telling him that he either gave crabs to or got crabs from her. He heads to the pharmacist where he is forced to endure an awkward conversation between and old woman (Alix Elias) and the pharmacist (Gene Jones). He goes home and sees old footage of himself on the Comedy Channel, and then sees Sarah Silverman (herself) and give her a call. They see more footage of their old friend Marc Maron (himself), which reminds Louie that they had a fight ten years ago and haven’t spoken since. Louie suddenly he was in the wrong, so he pays a visit to Marc, who impatiently listens to Louie’s apology, then reminds him that he came to see him five years earlier and gave him the exact same spiel. Louie and Sarah then watch footage of comedian Billiam Coronel; Sarah thinks he’s dead, but Louie insists he is still alive. Kina Bermudez and Matthew Robert Gehring are the IKEA couple. 9/23/18
• 034. Dad – 8/16/2012
  • Jane plays a lovely song on her violin, until Louie tells her to cut it out and go do her homework. Louie later goes to an electronics store and deals with a rude clerk (Sean Phillips) who places a box behind him when he gets a phone call causing him to trip. Louie takes this to the manager (Dominic Colon) and security guard (Stephen Hill) who review the tape and can only laugh. Louie’s phone call was from his Uncle Excelsior (F. Murray Abraham) who invites him to the Russian Tea Room to tell him in an obtuse way that he had recently visited Louie’s estranged father in Boston and suggested that Louie go and see him… but Louie refuses. While playing poker with his friends Rick Crom, Nick DiPaolo, Jim Norton, Sarah Silverman, and William Stephenson, they find Jim’s piece of paper on which he drew a naked woman that he uses to pleasure himself. Louie suddenly throws up during the game, so goes to see a doctor (Lee Shepherd) about the vomiting and rash on his neck. The doctor deduces that is because of the stress brought about by his uncle’s suggestion that Louie see his father. Louie flies to Boston and rents a car that he promptly throws up on, gets into an argument with another driver (Kevin McCormick) – with whom he hugs it out -and then goes to his father’s house. Before he can answer the door, Louie runs away, steals a three-wheeler, drives it the harbor, and steals a boat that he take out into the middle of the ocean. Louie can only laugh at his folly. Vernon Campbell is the Tea Room guard. Becca Lish is the flight attendant and GPS voice. Matt McCarthy is the Louie in the surveillance video. Maria Thayer is the rental car lady. 9/23/18 
• 035. Looking for Liz / Lilly Changes – 8/23/2012
  • After Louie does a stand-up bit about the brevity of life, the goes home and sleep and has dreams about Liz. He returns to the bookstore where they met only to find out from the manager (Lee Zarrett) that she no longer works there. Another employee named Liz offers to help Louie track her down and takes him on a strange odyssey of stalking her, trying to convince a doorman (Louis Vanaria) to tell her where she lives, then going to a coffee shop and masturbating. She tells Louie that she’s married, so she’d prefer if he didn’t return to the bookstore. Later Louie picks up Lilly and Jane from school, only to see that Lilly is being bullied by a group of girls (Caroline Grossman, Anya Denisova, Hayley Feinstein, Oona Laurence). Lilly is distant and mean to Louie when they get back to his apartment. After smoking the bathroom, he is told by Jane that Lilly has left. Louie goes in frantic search of her and ultimately calls in the police (Herman Chavez, Robin Hopkins). While being interrogated by them, Lilly strolls through the living room, having been reading in the closet the entire time. Scott Burik is the cab driver. 6/21/19
• 036. Late Show: Part 1 – 8/30/2012
  • Louie does a stand-up bit about how Americans can choose to expose kids to the horrors of life. After the bit, he talks to Ross Mark (himself), the producer of The Tonight Show, about his upcoming appearance. Louie fears he will be bumped if Tom Cruise goes over, but his promoter Doug assures him things will be fine. On the night of the show, Ross and Jay Leno (himself) tell Louie that he will have to be the main guest on the show. The show goes so well that Louie is summoned to the office of CBS where he meets with network chairman Lars Tardigan (Garry Marshall), who offers to groom Louie to be a backup to take over for David Letterman on The Late Show when he retires, while also using him as a pawn to negotiate with Jerry Seinfeld to take over the show. Tardigan tells him his chances are slim, but that if he works hard, it could possibly happen. Budd Friedman appears as himself. David Wilson Barnes is Charlie the lawyer. Jocelyn Bioh is the CBS receptionist. Brian Jarvis is the soundman. NOTE: This is the first of a three-part episode. 6/21/19
• 037. Late Show: Part 2 – 9/13/2012
  • Louie meets with his ex-wife Janet to tell him about his offer but insists he can’t go for it because of the girls. She tells him however that she will take care of the girls and insists that he do everything he can to get the job. Louie goes in to see producer Jack Dall (David Lynch) to do an initial interview. Jack’s receptionist’s (Joan Porter, Carolyn Seiff) face keeps alternating between two women, and Louie’s promoter Doug handles his cue cards for an initial dated joke reading. Jack times his delivery and finds him to be too slow but tells him to work on it and come back on Wednesday. Louie speaks to Jay Leno, who tells him not to take the job because he can’t possibly be hip every night, while Chris Rock tells him that Jay is just trying to eliminate him as competition. Louie does some dry runs with Jack again and tells Jack that he refuses to wear a suit for the job. Jack tells him to go see a man named Alphonse (Isiah Whitlock Jr.) the next day, so he goes to the gym to see him and is told to box a fighter (Raul Frank) who quickly knocks him out. He is then told by Alphonse to come back the next day. That night he sees reporter Maria Menounos (herself) report that Chris Rock is now the front runner along with Jerry Seinfeld for the Late Show job. Vernon Chapman is the receptionist’s third face. Ronson Frank is boxer #2. Marilyn Duryea is the old lady shoplifter who Lily turns into security. NOTE: This is the second of a three-part episode. 2/27/20
• 038. Late Show: Part 3 – 9/20/2012
  • Louie works on losing 40 pounds for the new job, and also has a discussion with Lily and Jane about how he might not see them as much if he gets it. Jack continues to put Louie through his paces by forcing him to be funny on cue and the conducting a mock interview with Elaine (Polina Nikiforova) the cleaning lady, which ends up making her cry. Louie continues working out in the boxing ring and practicing in front of his own camera at home. His family wish him luck for his dry run of the show the next day, and neighbors join him on his jog. In the dressing room before the show, Jack visits and tells him that he won’t see him again but gives him some parting advice which includes the pointer “if someone asks you to keep a secret, their secret is a lie.” He then gets a visit from Jerry Seinfeld (himself) who tells him confidentially that he was already given the Late Show earlier that day and that he didn’t think it was fair that they were still putting him through the dry run. But when Jerry tells him not to say anything, he falls back on the advice that Jack had given him. Louie moves forward by delivering a great show with his announcer and sidekick Mike Gilliam (himself), and his guests Susan Sarandon (herself) and Paul Rudd (himself). Lars Tardigan watches on TV and tells a colleague that he now has an option. That night Louie celebrates his success with his friends Jim, Nick, and Todd, but then they see the announcement from Maria Menounos that David Letterman has renewed his contract for another ten years. Doug arrives at the bar and tells Louie that CBS used Louie to drive Letterman’s price from 40 million to 60 million, and that Letterman will never have Louie on the show again. Louie visits the Late Show studio and declares his efforts a victory. 2/27/20
• 039. New Year’s Eve – 9/27/2012
  • As the kids open their gifts on Christmas morning at his house, Louie can’t help but think about the hardships of shopping, wrapping, and particularly gluing the the eyes of a doll in place after they become dislodged during shipping. Louie then reads Jane the book he got her called The Story About Ping about their ideal life on the Yangtze River in China. Their mother and Patrick then pick them up for a two-week trip abroad. Louis takes down the tree immediately, tosses it out the window, and then goes back to sleep for the afternoon. He is called by his sister Debbie (Amy Poehler) who wants him to join her and her husband Doug (Joel Marsh Garland) for New Years in Mexico, but Louie declines the offer. On New Year’s Eve, Louie has a dream where an older Lilly (Emily Padgett) and Jane (Jenson Smith) meet and discuss their older father (Emanuel Matthew Yavne) who does nothing but sit in a chair and eat cookies). He wakes up to hear newscasters Fanny Chapcranter (Jackie Tranchida) and Flappy Howserton (Steve Lacy) discuss suicide rates on New Years Eve, and he decides to head to the airport. On the bus he runs into Liz, but as they enthusiastically near each other to embrace, her nose starts bleeding, and she collapses. Louie accompanies her to the hospital, where despite the best efforts of the doctor (Linda Powell) and nurse (Libby Collins), Liz dies at one minute before midnight. Everyone else in the hospital celebrates the New Year as Louie slinks out and back to the airport where he falls asleep on some chairs. When he wakes, he buys a ticket to Beijing, China instead. Upon arrival, he begins asking locals where the Yangtze River, but no one can speak English. One man offers to take him in his three-wheeled truck filled with ducks. He takes him to a small creek that appears to be in someone’s backyard. As Louie is leaving, he runs into a woman who invites him into her home where her family is serving dinner and welcome Louie with open arms. 6/8/20

SEASON 4

• 040. Back – 5/5/2014
  • Louie does a stand-up routine in which he admits he often can’t remember how old he is. The next morning is rough for him as he is awoken by a group of garbagemen (Kofi Boakye, Tom Place, Chazz Menendez) who are so noisy that they actually come in his room to wake him up. He then has to endure a joke told wrong by Tony the Super (John Dinello), and then coffee with his friend Todd, who professes to not like Louie’s kids. He picks up his kids from school and he takes them home, feeds them, helps them with homework, puts them to bed, and then has Mrs. Frame (Lola Pashalinski) babysit while he goes out to do a set about how he would eliminate as many waking hours as possible. He then plays poker with Jim, Sarah, William, Rick, and Nick, where they discuss frequency and style of masturbation. Jim presents his usage of a vibrator, which provokes a lot of jokes but intrigues Louie. He stops by a sex store and asks about a vibrator, but as he is pointing to something, he throws his back out and is forced to hobble out of the store. A group of teenage kids (Amir Ali Said, Antonio Ortiz) make fun of him, while an elderly woman (Rebecca Darke) helps him into a cab. He goes straight to see a new doctor named Bigelow (Charles Grodin) during his lunch. The doctor merely explains that the human vertebrae isn’t developed for vertical living, so to be grateful for every second that the back doesn’t hurt. The nurse (Susan Blommaert) is a bit more helpful and recommends a giant back massager. Louis buys one and takes it into his bedroom for obvious reasons. During his next set, he discusses what happens after you die and how young the age of 31 really is. Carla Dos Santos and Ronica Reddick are the sex store employee and attendant. 6/9/20
• 041. Model – 5/5/2014
  • Louie gets turned down by the waitress Jamie (Bree Sharp) before he even asks her out, and the waitress Linda (Linda Turley) tells him to stop asking women out. His luck changes a bit when Jerry Seinfeld asks him to come to East Hampton and open a set for him at a heart disease benefit, but also warns him to do a clean set. Louie shows up at the event dramatically underdressed amidst the billionaires and has to borrow a jacket from the security guard (James Shanahan). His set is terrible and gets no response except for one woman in the crowd who is laughing hysterically. Jerry then goes on and does some material about how bad Louie’s performance was. The girl who was laughing (Yvonne Strahovski) sees Louie outside and tells him that his set was terrible, but she loved the fact that all of the other snobs hated him. She takes Louie back to her beach house, strips to underwear and gets in the ocean, and then takes Louie inside and has sex with him. Her name is Blake but she only introduces herself as the daughter of an astronaut (Bud Stafford) who walked on the moon. While in bed, Blake begins tickling Louie and his reaction is to punch her in the face, which knocks her out. At the hospital, Blake’s father punches Louie and gives him a bloody nose. Louie calls Jerry Seinfeld for help, but he only recommends a layer (Victor Garber) for Louie. The lawyer tells Louie that the family wants 10 million dollars in damages, but he thinks he can get it to five million, which would mean Louie pays $5000 a month for the rest of his life. Back in the city, Louie tells this story to Jamie and she seems genuinely interested and sympathetic… which makes Louie happy. Kapil Bawa is the ER doctor. Ray Cassar is the Hamptons policeman. Paul Coughlan is the hotel doorman. 9/24/20
• 042. So Did the Fat Lady – 5/12/2014
  • After a set at the Comedy Cellar, a new overweight waitress named Vanessa (Sarah Baker) introduces herself to Louie and then asks him out, but he makes an excuse to decline. Later he and his brother Bobby scout girls on the street, and the commit to start getting in shape beginning the next day. However, before they start, they have a bang-bang, during which they eat two full meals back-to-back, in this case at an Indian restaurant and a diner, where Bobby embarrasses Louie by telling a waitress (Kaija Matiss) what they are doing. Back at the club, Vanessa asks Louie out once again, but he still declines. Finally while he is chatting with comedian Dave Attell (himself), Vanessa says she is quitting the Comedy Cellar because she was just made full time elsewhere. She offers him some expensive hockey tickets as a farewell gift. Louie accepts the tickets, but then feels compelled to go out with her so he asks her to coffee. They have a nice time joking, chatting, and taking a walk, but when the subject comes around to her weight, she stands up for every fat girl by questioning why men run for the hills rather than date one. Louie tries to comfort her but can’t find the words. She also mentions that all she really wants is to have a nice guy she can hold hands with on a walk… so Louie quickly obliges and they walk off together, as Louie tells a joke that ends in her repeating “so did the fat lady” after everything he says. Edward Burns is Ed. Jim Tews is the comedian on stage. Shawlini Manjunath is the Indian restaurant host. Betsy Struxness is Sunshine, another waitress who turns Louie down. Fred Louisdhon is the patron. 9/24/20
• 043. Elevator: Part 1 – 5/12/2014
  • Jane has a bad dream in the middle of the night, and Louie comforts her. However, she is convinced she is still dreaming, and this carries over into the next morning when Louie takes her and Lilly home on the subway. Louie goes over the subway rules before they get on, but Jane, still believing she is in the dream, steps off the subway before it leaves. This forces Louie and Lilly to get off at the next stop, take the return trip back, find her and retrieve her. This leaves Louie angry and shaken up, and when he drops her off with Janet, she gets shaken up and yells at Jane as well. Later Louie comes home and discovers that his neighbor Evanka (Ellen Burstyn) is trapped in the elevator. While the maintenance man Tony (Clark Middleton) calls the fire department, Evanka asks Louie to go get her pills from her apartment. He does, and the pees, and then notices a sleeping woman on the couch. When he returns, Evanka tells her that this is her niece Amia (Eszter Balint), and asks him to retrieve her. However when Louie wakes her up, she screams in Hungarian and throws him out. Later she comes to Louie’s apartment, bringing a delicious pie to make up for the incident. Louie does stand-up and tells the audience how you really know you’re in a relationship when you can be racist in front of them. He also speculates on the possibility that either of his daughters could want to become a man one day. Pamela Adlon is the cable phone recording voice. Alexander Jones and Lucy McMichael are people on the subway. NOTE: This is the first of a six-part episode. 1/9/21
• 044. Elevator: Part 2 – 5/19/2014
  • Louie goes shopping and buys a basketful of gourmet food and takes it over to Evanka’s apartment hoping to see Amia. She isn’t there but Evanka invites him in, and they chat about her home country Hungary, and she tells him that she too used to be a comedian with her brother, and she would perform funny songs on the piano to entertain the Hungarian troops. Louie gets a call from the school secretary (Susanna Guzman) and has to go pick up Jane for misbehaving in school. Jane tells Louie that she hates school, and that all of the students, teachers, and subjects are stupid, and they never attempt to answer the real questions. She also says that the kids were picking on her and not letting her back on the playground spring horse, and when the teacher scolded her on the playground, she ripped the teacher’s skirt off and exposed her underwear to the other students. Louie brings her home to Janet, and they go out to chat about Jane, and argue about whether they should send Jane to private school. Louie is against it, but admits he has a chip on his shoulder about not being able to afford it. When he returns home, he runs into Amia in the elevator, and he invites her to go out to eat right then. They stop at Russ & Daughters for some raw fish, and then go on a boat ride, a walk in the park, and to the store. Amia can speak very little English, so has to mime to him that she’s looking for a hair dryer, by pretending to take off her clothes, take a shower, and then dry her hair. Louie takes her home and gets a hug, but is clearly disappointed that nothing else comes of their evening. He performs his stand-up routine, doing a bit about cannibalism. Gerhard Boshana is the cheese guy. Erica Gonzalez is the pastry lady. Isaiah Reed is the coffee guy. Josh Russ Tupper is the Russ & Daughters guy. NOTE: This is the second of a six-part episode. 1/10/21
• 045. Elevator: Part 3 – 5/19/2014
  • Louie’s brother Bobby takes a shower at Louie’s place and then tries to help him with his cell phone while wearing a small towel. Later Louie runs into Pamela at the store, and they have lunch. Louie can hardly say a word, but she tells him that she might be interested in pursuing a relationship with him. He tells her that he’s seeing someone else and turns her down, much to her great surprise. Louie goes to see Amia and ask her out and tell her how much he likes her, but her mother tells him that she only came home to escort her back to Hungary, and that she has a job and son back home. Louie tries to beg her not to leave, but it seems pointless, so he goes home and smashes his piano with a baseball bat. Amia and her mother then come over to tell him that she is not leaving for one month, so she’s like to spend time with him. Later Louie and Janet visit Jane’s principal (Stephanie Berry) so that Jane can apologize to he teacher Marcy (Nancy Slusser) for pulling her dress off. The principal then suggests that they discuss how they are going to handle Jane, but they can only surf their smartphones while they are supposed to be talking. Louie brings Jane home and they meet Amia in the hallway. When Amia sees that Jane has a violin, she grabs her, and they play a duet right there. Jane wonders if everyone is mad at her, and Louie tells her that he’s rarely mad at her, but it’s his job to make sure she can function in society. Louie runs into Dr. Bigelow and asks for advice about what to so with Amia since he knows she’s leaving, and Bigelow gives him vague advice about diseases, and the fact that the only thing happier than his three-legged dog is a four-legged dog. NOTE: This is the third of a six-part episode. 5/5/21
• 046. Elevator: Part 4 – 5/26/2014
  • Louie and Amia have a great time at a hockey match, and despite the fact that Hurricane Jasmine Forsythe is approaching New York City, having already buried Cuba under water, the girls have fun with her playing violin and chess. Louie and Janet visit a therapist (Denny Dillon), who blames most of Jane’s problems on the fact that she hasn’t gotten over their separation. Janet naturally blames a Louie for the break-up, as well as the fact that he doesn’t want to send her to a private school. Louie can only scream out the window and try and defend himself. Janet and Louie later chat, and she thinks it is irresponsible for him to get involved with a woman who is leaving the country, and that both he and the girls will get too attached. Louie can’t retaliate with much, because he likes her boyfriend Patrick. Louie goes home and reminisces about the time of their lives when they agreed to a divorce. It seems that both Louie (Conner O’Malley) and Janet (Brooke Bloom) had thrown out getting a divorce while they were in fights, so they decide to discuss it while staying in a hotel at a time that they weren’t mad at all. They decide to move forward with the divorce but agree to have sex one more time. They consider it the best yet, but probably only because they know it is the last. Janet remarks that it would be funny if she wound up getting pregnant for the first time from this, their last time. Louie does a stand-up routine about an old lady struggling to get upstairs, and what he would be willing to give up in order for the lady to feel better. Ben Simmoneau is the weather guy. NOTE: This is the fourth of a six-part episode. 5/5/21
• 047. Elevator: Part 5 – 5/26/2014
  • The newscaster at WLMK announces that Hurricane Jasmine Forsythe has claimed the life of basketball player Lebron James, along with 90% of Florida and 12 million other people. Meanwhile at the Comedy Cellar, Amia watches Louie do a bit on the chicken and the egg, while Jim messes with her inability to speak English. After show they have dinner with fellow comedians Nick DiPaolo, Todd Barry, and Greg Fitzsimmons (himself), and they encourage Louie to figure out his relationship with Amia. Greg tells Louie how nice it would be to be lonely, and then questions what a single guy like Todd does all day. Todd runs through his day’s activities from the day before. He sleeps in until 10am, goes to breakfast where the waitress (Hannah Dunne) gives him a free doughnut, goes to the clinic for his sniffles, gets a free bowl of ramen, goes to the gym, takes a nap. and then heads off to Poughkeepsie where’s he’s set up his own show where he gets 80% of the gate. He takes a bus to Croton-Harmon just outside of Poughkeepsie in order to save money on the ticket, then makes the nightclub owner (Ben Dasaro) pick him up. When he arrives, he finds his name is misspelled on his door, so he forces the owner to fix it and put up a new sign. Everyone at the restaurant where he is telling the story cheers for this. Louie then heads home and finds Evanka unconscious in the elevator. He gets Dr. Bigalow to help, and it turns out she choked on a Mentos. She recovers, and Louie walks her to her apartment, where she asks him if he is sleeping with Amia. When he says no, she laughs at him, and tells him that it’s not serious then. That night after their date, Louie talks Amia into coming inside and then he makes a pass at her. He is able to seduce her and get her into bed. The next morning, she is very upset, and tells him it was ‘no good’. She bids a hasty retreat out his door, leaving him to wonder what just happened. Cassandra Bodzak and Allie Schulz are the party girls who bump into Louie and Amia. Melissa Collardo is the clinic receptionist. Stacey Lewis is the Poughkeepsie waitress and Lori Palminteri is the MC. This is the fifth of a six-part episode. 8/29/21
• 048. Elevator: Part 6 – 6/2/2014
  • Louie is puzzled by Amia’s reaction to their sleeping together and discusses it with his friend Nick. Louie follows her around and she leads him into a Catholic church, where she is clearly very upset, but neither of them can understand each other. Meanwhile, the weatherman (Ben Simmoneau) on TV announces that Hurricane Jasmine Forsythe has worked its way up into New York. Louie has Amia take him back to Evanka’s place, where he hopes to use her as a translator. Amia is embarrassed to share all of her feelings with her aunt, although Louie gets the gist that as a Catholic, she is shamed to have slept with him. Their conversation comes to an abrupt end when the news anchors Fannie and Mike announce that a good portion of New York is dead, a portion will die, and a third portion – where Janet, Jane, and Lilly live – is being evacuated. Louie leaves immediately and tries to protect his feet with plastic bags, but they little good in the torrential rains and win. Louie manages to rent a car, and work his way through the torrential downpour, where he finds his panicked family and rescues them and brings them out of the danger zone. Later, Amia brings him to a Hungarian restaurant where a waiter brings out another waiter (Yury Tsykun) who can translate a letter that Amia wrote to Louie in Hungarian. She tells him that she loved spending time with him and values the time they had together, but it is time that she returns to her life and children. It is enough to make the translator cry. Louie stops him in the middle and has him tell her that he feels the same way. Glen Feinstein is is the Hertz rental agent. Larry Fessenden is the man looking for a dog. Adrian Martinez is the agitated hurricane man. NOTE: This is the sixth of a six-part episode 8/29/21
• 049. Pamela: Part 1 – 6/2/2014
  • Louis takes a look inside Amia’s apartment, which is now completely empty except for her couch. He spots Dr. Bigelow outside walking his dog and goes out to tell him how miserable he now is. Bigelow calls him the dumbest man alive and tells him that he should relish the misery because it means he’s truly still in love. When Louie gets a text photo of Pamela flipping him off, he asks her to meet for lunch, and then asks if she is still interested in being a couple. She says that that ship has now sailed and she’s not. He gets a call from his sitter telling him she’s no longer available tonight to watch the girls while he performs. He also overhears two guys (P.J. Benjamin, Graham Winton) discuss killing a man. That night his set includes the topics of God, religion, women voting, and democracy. He rides the subway home where he overhears a man (Michael Kostroff) chatting with a woman. When the woman gets off the subway, he keeps chatting, so Louie goes and sits by him. He arrives home where Pamela is babysitting and tries to make a pass with her. She tries to rebuff his advances and accuses him of trying to rape her. He says he is taking charge because he believes she still wants to be a couple. She says she doesn’t want kissing to be a part of it, but reluctantly allows him to give a kiss to her clenched lips. The next morning, he and the girls take the bus to drop them at school. He wants to make sure Lilly knows where they are in the city, but the girls want to ask if Pamela is his new girlfriend. The whole conversation is interrupted when Louie catches a black man (Isaiah Stokes) spitting on the bus. When he confronts the man, the man tells the bus driver (William Vila) that it is actually Louie who is spitting. NOTE: This is the first of a three-part episode. 2/27/22
• 050. In the Woods: Part 1 – 6/9/2014
  • Louie’s friend Todd has him meet him in a skate park where the band Golem (themselves) are playing, performing the song Vodka is Poison. Louie notes all of the teenage kids Lilly’s age, and also the number of people smoking pot. Then he spots his daughter Lilly smoking pot, and immediately runs to her, smacks the joint from her hand, and marches her off. She insists she didn’t do anything, and then tells him that he doesn’t know anything about it. As they have lunch, Louie remembers his life at age thirteen. His mother drops him off at school, and he goes to Science class where his teacher Mr. Hoffman (Skipp Sudduth) tries to make class interesting by letting the kids decide the course of the rest of the lesson. A boy named Albert (Logan J. Rush) asks if it is possible to light a fart, and young Louie (Devin Druid) volunteers to fart into a flame in class. After class, Mr. Hoffman suggests that Louie invite his daughter Danielle (Sofia Hublitz) to the dance. Louie, however, awkwardly asks another girl named Laurie (Gina Piersanti). Also in the lunchroom, the class bully Danny (Oscar Wahlberg) mercifully returns Louie’s friend Brad’s (Cory Nichols) glasses so he can take a test, and allows Louie to take his beating one punch at a time. At the dance, as Louie is about to approach Danielle, Brad comes and gets him and offers to split a joint with him for the first time. They don’t have a lighter, so they borrow Danny’s, which means they are forced to split the joint with him. They all become fast friends and are now on the prowl for more joints. The boys are afraid to visit a real drug dealer to get more, but Danny has no qualms about throwing a tiny dynamite stick in the trash can and setting it on fire, much to the chagrin of the school principal Doug Miner (Tony V). Louie goes to see the dealer Jeff Davis (Jeremy Renner) who thinks Louie has balls. He supplies Louie with $10 worth of pot. When Louie notices that Jeff’s scale is broken, he mentions that they have the exact same scales in science class. Jeff offers to give him $20 worth of pot for every scale he can bring him. The next Science class, Louie offers to clean up for him after class, and after Hoffman leaves, Louie steals two scales. Back home, Louie’s mother can see the change in him and starts searching his room. when Louie comes home, she demands to know what is going on with him. Back in the present, Louie is making the same demands on Lilly. NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. Savvas Tzeferis, Mireille Crocco, Chesea K. Vance, Christine Pardo, and Thomas Kyles are concert goers. Alison Pick and Tiffany Meier are JHS girls. 2/28/22
• 051. In the Woods: Part 2 – 6/9/2014
  • Louie gathers the six scales that he’s stolen and brings them to Jeff, where he also meets an attractive girl named Alison (Meredith Hagner) who flirts with him, and he trades them for 12 ounces of pot. He takes it back to Danny’s house, where the two of them and Brad plan to have a party in the woods. When Danny smart-mouths his older brother Kenny (Patrick Curran), the other boys witness him beat up on Danny, who spots a shiner the next day at school. Louie’s mother is becoming increasingly frustrated with him, and she calls in her ex-husband (F. Murray Abraham), who attempts to lay down the law. Louie drops a whole litany of f-bombs on him, and he simply walks out with no further comment. The boys carry on with their party in the woods, but when Brad doesn’t show up, Louie and Danny go to his house. Brad tells them that he’s not allowed to hang out with them any longer because his parents found his pot. Danny gets irritated with him and hits him, then smashes their car window, until Louie has to stop him and yell at him for being so violent. At school, Louie and his teacher Mr. Hoffman are called in to see Principal Miner, who accuses Louie of stealing the scales and trading them for drugs, and that the scales are pricy enough that it would amount to Grand Theft. Mr. Hoffman is outraged that he would accuse a good boy like Louie, when there are so many useless and poorly behaved kids in the school. Miner is forced to admit that he only got the information second-hand, and Mr. Hoffman storms out with Louie. He starts to get his conscience back and tries to get the scales back from Jeff, but Jeff grabs him and threatens him that he doesn’t want his name dragged into the mess and tells him that he’s already sold the scales to other dealers. He puts the fear of God into Louie, who later sees Danny getting arrested for the assault on Brad and damage to their car. Louie gets dragged back into Principal Miner’s office. He tells Louie that he knows that Louie took the scales, but he’s not going to do anything about it because he’s not a policeman, but rather just an educator. He tells Louie that it might hurt his budget, and cause him grief to replace the scales, but he’ll do it anyway. Louie then goes home and is greeted by his mother, who has reached the end of her rope with him, and tells him that if he doesn’t shape up, start speaking to her again, and behaving that he will no longer live in her house. Louie runs out on her but is later found by her sleeping in the garage. She takes Louie to see a social worker counselor (Josh Hamilton), who tries a gentler approach to work with Louie, convincing him that he’s not a bad kid, but has been using drugs to cope with his parents’ divorce. Louie goes to see Mr. Hoffman and admits to him and Danielle that he did take the scales on his own and traded them for drugs. Back in the current world, Louie makes Lilly breakfast and says they’re not going to talk about the marijuana anymore, but Louie tells her to say goodbye to childhood… and that he loves her and is there for her. Rich Duva is the Newton detective. Alex Kroll is the radio voice. Lisa McMillan is Doris. Greg O’Brien is a JHS boy. Zaki Sky is Zaki. 7/5/22
• 052. Pamela: Part 2 – 6/16/2014
  • Louie calls Pamela and tries to persuade her to go out on a date with him. Although she acts aloof, she finally agrees, much to his delight. They wind up going to an art show, where each exhibit seems weirder than the next, culminating in a room full of stacked bodies, some of them naked. From there, they stop at a Chinese restaurant and order food to go. They take the food to a quiet corner of Central Park in the dark and put down blankets and have a picnic. He then asks her to lay down and look up at the sky, where they see a rare meteor shower. This touches Pamela, and she tells Louie that this was a great move, and then she kisses him for a while before they return to the meteor shower. They stop at his place, where she only wants to use the bathroom, and then sneak out. He tries to persuade her to stay, but she tells him that he’ll just want to do ‘stuff’ and they are just friends. Louie finally gets frustrated and tells her to leave. He tells her that she is either completely unaware of the fact that she’s hurting him, or she’s doing it on purposed, and he doesn’t want to be with someone like that. She asks if she can stay if she shows him his underwear… but only by send him photos of it. Eventually they wind up in bed in their underwear and fall asleep. Janet and Patrick stop over early to drop off the girls, and Lilly and Jane find Pamela in his bed. They ask her if she is their dad’s girlfriend, and she jokingly points out all of his physical flaws and says that they can’t be his girlfriend because she deserves better. She gets up in her underwear, and heads to the kitchen to make breakfast with the girls. Janie Brookshire is the clothing saleswoman. Jane Wu is the Chinese restaurant hostess. Jodie Lynn McClintock is the emotional woman at the exhibit. Jay Oakerson is the museum exhibit voice. 7/5/22
• 053. Pamela: Part 3 – 6/16/2014
  • Louie comes home one afternoon only to find that there are moving men taking his furniture. When Louie asks one of the men (Germar Gardner) what they are doing, he tells Louie to see the woman in the apartment. Pamela, who is babysitting Jane and Lilly, has called to have everything removed, and merely insists that he needs new stuff. Louie has to take the girls to their mother’s house and is amazingly able to laugh off the furniture. The meeting between Pamela and Janet and Patrick is awkward, and when they get back home, Pamela asks how on earth his very-white daughters came from his black ex-wife. Louie says that Janet’s mother was white. They then have sex on the floor of the empty apartment, and then go shopping for furniture. Louie brings Pamela to the Comedy Cellar but has an awkward set because he keeps looking at Pamela to see if she is laughing, but she feels self-conscious about laughing because he keeps staring at her. They go out to eat afterward with Jim, Nick, and Todd. Marc Maron joins them and tells them he got a new series, but Louie seems jealous and doesn’t congratulate him. Marc calls him out in front of everyone for the lack of support he has received from Louie lately. As they walk home, Louie admits it is a terrible night and that he really is jealous and doesn’t want to be. Pamela tells him that he just needs to get on TV and make a go of it. She says Marc is no better than him, but he has probably worked harder. The down-to-earth advice causes Louie to embrace her. When they get back to her apartment, Louie doesn’t want alcohol or sex, but just wants to tell Pamela that he loves her. She tells him that her personality dictates that she can’t say it back. She claims that feelings are gross and disgusting. He tells her that she is an asshole and leaves the apartment. Before he gets home, she calls and asks him back. She is in a bath and asks him to join her. He is embarrassed to take his shirt of in front of her, but finally does anyway… causing half of the water to spill out of the tub. She gives him a backrub and tells him that she knows that he wants to talk about romantic feelings. They tell each other about their first kisses. She also tells him she knows he wants her to act a certain way with him, but that she can’t. She asks if it is okay if they just spend time together and like each other. Louie just stares at her and doesn’t answer. Kevin Creighton is antique store salesman. 10/31/22

SEASON 5

• 054. Pot Luck – 4/9/2015
  • Louie does a monologue at the Comedy Cellar about how he doesn’t care if there are people on other planets. He then visits his therapist (David Little) and tells him that he has no idea how to live life, whether there is a reason to quit trying, and that he is reaching depression. He feels even worse when the therapist falls asleep. Louie then decides to attend the potluck dinner with the parents at Lily’s school. He phones Marina (Judy Gold) and asks if he could come and bring fried chicken. Although she can’t stand him and asks him to bring a dessert, he insists on fried chicken. He then goes all out and prepares a terrific looking batch of chicken. He arrives slightly late and follows a pair of guests (Clayton Dean Smith, Clemmie Evans) into the apartment.  Everyone is nice, but he is surprised when he doesn’t recognize anyone there, and that no one seems to know his daughter Jane. He then realizes when everyone starts chanting, that it is some strange spiritual gathering. He explains the situation to Joseph the Guru (Jonathan Hadary), who tells him to forgive himself. When he leaves, he forgets to take the chicken, so he heads to KFC to buy some more. He arrives at the real potluck ultra-late, much to Marina’s irritation. A man (Phillip Chorba) digs into the chicken, as Louie starts scarfing down doughnuts. Louie eavesdrops on Marina and her girlfriend Danila (Shae d’Lyn) as she tells a friend named Renassa (Sidne Anderson) about how they are using a girl named Julianne (Celia Keenan-Bolger) as a surrogate mother… and they speak at her like she is an incubator rather than a human being. When Louie leaves, Julianne offers to share an Uber with him, and when they get to her place, he helps walk her up the stairs since she is pregnant. While he is using the restroom, she breaks into tears. Louie tries to comfort her by telling her that she’s a beautiful woman. She hugs and kisses him, and then they have sex in the hallway… which induces her labor. When Marina arrives at the hospital, she screams at Louie and belittles him for having sex with her. Danila tries to calm her down, but she is too furious. Louie leaves as Marina tells him to cut off his dick and eat it. Morgan O’Kane is the musician in the park. Jive Poetic is the poetry reader not reading poetry standing next to Jackie. Amy Janette McDonald is Jackie, who wants her daughter to play violin. Penny Lynn White is Kate, the lady who announces the Fried chicken and hugs Louie. Paul Woodburn is Bruce. Dena Tyler is Bianca. 11/1/22
• 055. A La Carte – 4/16/2015
  • Louie is grocery shopping with Lilly and Jane, when he is suddenly struck with stomach pains and has to get to a bathroom quickly. He rushes out the door and attempts to get back home, even tossing aside his groceries in the trash can. The girls become so concerned that they try to get a bodega man (Jorge Chapa) to let him use the bathroom in his deli. When he declines, they turn to a policeman (Angel Rosa), but he is no help. Finally Louie is forced to admit to the girls that he’s not going to make it, so he sends them on ahead. Later, Louie performs at the Comic Strip where Steven Wright is acting as MC. He is then offered $400 by Matchie (David Konig) to MC the open mic night that is about to happen. He reluctantly agrees, and after introducing a comedian named Mike Bocchetti (himself), the next comedian Bart Folding (Nate Fernald) asks Louie if he will critique his work and give him some pointers. Louie declines, and when Bart goes on, he tells some low-key jokes about wetting the bed and being beaten by his mother. Bart chases down Louie to get his notes, and Louie tells him that he has no chance as a comedian. His only idea to make it funnier is to adopt a funny voice. Louie later talks Pamela into going to see a black and white French movie. She gets bored with the film and tells Louie to masturbate in the theater, but he will only play along if she gives him oral sex. Instead, she makes him leave and they go get dinner. They decide to have a sleepover, and then Louie alludes to them moving in together. She quickly changes the subject but tells him that she’s happy with them being individual people who sometimes get together. She tells him that this way he can pick his women a la carte and points out a busty woman (Lauren Doucette) in the restaurant, who Louie then imagines is getting Parmesan Cheese sprinkled over her breasts by the waitress. He agrees with her, and they go back to just spending the night together. While laying in bed with Pamela, Louie sees Jimmy Fallon (himself) on TV introducing the newest comic sensation Bart Folding, who has adopted a ridiculous voice to present the same crummy material. Lino del Core is the Italian restaurant waiter. Lauren Elder is the Louie fan laughing next to Pamela. Evan Fine is young Louie. Renayla Joye is a comic. Mahira Kakkar is the cashier. Elenore Pourriat is the French actress. 3/3/23 
• 056. Cop Story – 4/23/2015
  • Louie has a run-in with a rude shop owner named Andrea (Clara Wong), who won’t show him the pots that he’s interested in buying. He lays into her and tells her that he likely would have spent thousands of dollars in the store if she hadn’t been so rude, but she simply tells him to take his business elsewhere. She correctly points out that he is intimidated by young people as they are slowly replacing him and he no longer is relevant. However, she points out that this is good for his kids. As Louie is walking home, he is pulled over by a police officer named Lenny (Michael Rapaport), who turns out to be Louie’s sister’s ex-boyfriend. She had dumped him, and it crushed him. Lenny insists on getting together with Louie and taking him to a Knicks game. From the moment Lenny picks him up, he is loud and boisterous, pulls his gun on Louie, constantly roughhouses with him, and won’t let Louie get a word in edgewise. When they arrive at the stadium, Lenny had planned to on in through the side door, using his status as a cop to get him in, but the officer (Mario Polit) won’t allow them entry. They wind up going to a bar to watch the game, and Lenny’s pattern of rudeness continues. As they are walking home, Lenny slugs Louie i the arm a few times, and this is the last straw for Louie. He finally tells Lenny that he’s going to walk home alone because Lenny is extremely annoying to be around, and that he has physically hurt him. Lenny argues that he is emotionally hurt by what Louie is saying, and then tells him that he has no friends on the police force, and no one likes him. He says he’s thought about blowing his brains out with his gun. Louie then notices that Lenny’s gun is missing, which causes Lenny to go into panic mode. They go back to the bar and ask the bartender (Aidan Baker) and waitress (Zoe Watkins) if they have found anything, but no one has turned anything in. They head back to Louie’s apartment, where Lenny had a full meltdown and starts destroying Louie’s things. Louie then returns to the bar on his own and begins to retrace their footsteps to the stadium. Eventually Louie finds it and awkwardly retrieves it. He accidentally drops it in front of a van full of NYPD cops, but he manages to get it back into his coat and get it home. Lenny is so thrilled that he embraces Louie and knocks him to the floor. Mike Basile and Cliff Moylan are cops. Paul Saltzberg is the Knicks Fan with the sponge hand. 3/3/23
• 057. Bobby’s House – 4/30/2015
  • Louie’s brother Bobby wakes him up with a phone call to see if he can pick him up for their late uncle Jack Watt’s wake. Louie hasn’t even heard that he had passed away, but pick him up, nonetheless. When they arrive and see a roomful of Vietnamese people, Louie wonders what they are all doing there. Then one of the men (Dewey Wynn) hands them the funeral program and they see that it is a different man than their uncle. Later Louie sees a tough woman (Heather Hardy) pushing around a nerdy man (John Christopher Morton) in the street, and he asks the lady to go easy on the guy. The woman then starts beating up on Louie, but Louie doesn’t want to defend himself on a woman. When he finally tries to hit her, he falls on the ice and is beaten even worse. When Louie gets home, he has bruises and marks all over his face, causing concern from Lilly and Jane. However, when Louie finally admits that it was a woman who beat him up, they start laughing. He then goes to see Pamela to see if she will help him cover his marks in makeup so that he can perform at two shows that night. She is excited to put makeup on him and gets him to agree with dressing him up like a woman by promising to give him some amazing sex. She even gets him to agree role playing that she is a man named Philip and he is woman named Joranetha. During sex, she ends up taking him from the back end, much to his surprise. Afterward, he says their lovemaking was very intimate and wonders if this means they are any closer to a relationship. She then tells him that she only wants to be friends again, because she knows he wants a relationship that she can never have. He tries to argue the point, but she winds up breaking up with him, leaving him in tears and his mascara running. Later, his brother Bobby has lunch with him and can’t stop laughing that he was beaten up by a woman. 8/3/23
• 058. Untitled – 5/7/2015
  • Louie tells a joke at the Comedy Cellar about beekeeping during his stand-up show. After the bit, comedian Jon ‘Crazy Glasey’ (Jon Glaser) keeps repeating the joke to Louie. He later takes Jane to the doctor to see Dr. Bigelow so that Jane can tell him about her rash, and also how she sometimes she feels like she’s sweating inside her face and is able to will herself into non-existence. Bigelow thinks she is dehydrated and has her drink some water. Louie and Jane then go pick up Lilly from her friend Micah’s sleepover. Micah’s mother Barbara (Rachel Bay Jones) has just gone through divorce from her husband Jack and asks for Louie’s help moving a fish tank from her room. Louie says he can’t do it and suggests that she get a mover, causing Barbara to break out crying and sobbing. Louie covers her with a blanket and leaves quietly. Louie stops at the store with the girls and learns that Lilly and her friends watched A Clockwork Orange at the sleepover. On the way home, he falls asleep in the cab and wakes up in his own room. Someone comes to the door, but Louie only sees darkness when he opens the door. Suddenly a bald, shirtless being (Val Rich) attacks him and he wakes up in a cold sweat. Louie then has another dream in which he allows an old lady to bite his head while his friend Jim Norton screams at the top of his lungs. He is then invited onstage at the Comedy Cellar by the MC (Marina Franklin). When he goes up there, he finds that he is wearing no pants, has a deformed penis, and can’t speak. He later sits around with his fellow comedians Todd Barry and Nick DiPaolo. He realizes his coat is missing and spots Crazy Glasey waring it. Louie goes to see Dr. Bigelow to ask about his dreams, but realizes he is in another one when the awful being appears. He wakes up and pleads that he does not have any more, but he continues to have bad dreams, mostly starring the awful being, his brother Bobby, and a person in a bunny head. Unable to sleep, he asks Nick to meet him at the bakery and Nick asks him what might have triggered the dreams. Thinking back to when they first started, Louie returns to see Barbara to help her with her fish tank. He does other chores for her around the house, one of them being having sex with her. That night, Louie sleeps like a baby. Katie Honaker is the mother of the sneezing girl at Bigelow’s office. Susan Blommaert is Bigelow’s nurse. Lenny Marcus is himself, Crazy Glasey’s comedian friend. 8/3/23
• 059. Sleepover – 5/14/2015
  • Louie takes Lilly to see a Broadway play starring Matthew Broderick, Michael Cera (himself), Glenn Close (herself), John Lithgow (himself), and Hannah Patelunas (herself). Louie is annoyed when he sees Lilly on her smartphone during the play, thinking that she is texting her friends. After they leave, he tries to take her phone away from her, but she explains that she was looking up information about the play because she was fascinated by it. She offers him her phone, but he was impressed enough by her explanation to let it go. Later, Lilly head off to a friend’s house while Louie prepares to host a birthday slumber party for Jane. A lady named Joy (Finnerty Steeves) drops off her daughter Shasta (Delphina Belle) and tells Louie that she and her husband have to see an attorney because they are separating. Louie tells Shasta that his parent divorced when he was her age, and that he and his wife has also separated. Shasta doesn’t appear to know why he is telling her this, since she has no idea that her parents are divorcing. Lily and the girls ask Louie to order them pizza, so he does, just before he gets a message from Pamela. Louie asks if she can talk, so she calls him and he slips away into his bedroom. Their call starts to get sexual, so Louie barricades his door and takes off his pants. In the middle of their conversation, the girls at the slumber party all bang on his door and ask him if they can set up an ice cream bar. He tells them to leave him alone or he is going to send them home. As Pamela hangs up, it is obvious she is in the bathroom while on a date. As the girls are settling in, Louie gets a call from his brother Bobby, who tells Louie that he is in jail and needs bailed out. When Louie hears the threats of some of the guys (Joseph Urban, Joseph Basile, Kevin O’Grady), he packs the kids in a taxi and heads to the jail. The cab driver (Oberon K.A. Adjepong) won’t let him keep the kids in the cab while he goes in, so he is forced to take eight screaming girls into the jail. Their wild behavior drives the police sergeant (Guy Whitlock) to expedite the bail process. On the way home, Bobby tells a whopper of a lie about why he was arrested, involving an old woman (Elaine Barrow), and hobo (Richard Dedomenico), and giant sandwich, a goat, and a policeman (Tracy Friedman). On the way back, everyone, including the driver, stop to get ice cream. The next morning, when Joy comes to pick up Shasta, she tells Louie that she and her husband are reconciling. As Shasta leaves, she asks her mother if she and her father are getting a divorce. Bobby later privately confesses to Louie that he stopped at a massage parlor for a ‘happy ending’ and the place was raided. Catori Crawford is Tranquilitae. Caitlyn McLaughlin is Afghanistan. 12/3/23
• 060. The Road: Part 1 – 5/21/2015
  • Louie packs for a road trip of performances, starting in Cincinnati. There he encounters his oddball driver Mike (Devin Ratray), who takes him to his motel. On the way there, Mike wants to talk to him about New York City, but Louie politely asks him to not engage him in conversation. However, he feels bad and tries to quickly describe the city, but Mike then wants to talk about the people of New York. Louie is truly upset that he was booked into the cheap Motel 86 rather than a nice hotel, and he calls his manager Doug to complain. During their conversation, he is interrupted by a crack head guy (Joshua Rivera) looking for someone named Roger. Louie tells him that Roger is dead and is later interrupted again by the crack head telling him that Roger is not dead. Mike shows up two hours before showtime to pick up Louie, who wants to wait another hour and a half. Mike asks if he should wait in his car or come inside. Louie looks outside and he is standing outside his window. Louie performs his show, and Mike finds it hilarious. As they drive home, Mike tells Louie how he hung out with other comedians Billy Burr and Myq Kaplan and how friendly they were. Louie tells Mike that he’s glad he met those guys, but that he likes to be himself on the road and doesn’t enjoy seeing the country and meeting people. This reduces Mike to tears. Louie next heads to Charlotte and stops by the Jizzy Buns cart, where he learns about a Hot Pour bun from the vendor (Anya Krawcheck). While traveling on the airport train, a Turkish mother (Anna Orlova) and her many children board the car. When they get off at the next stop, Louie notices that there is one girl (Laurel Griggs) still left on the train. Louie escorts her off the train, much to the child’s displeasure. Louie calls on the emergency phone but can’t understand anything the lady on the line is saying to him. While he is talking, the girl sneaks off. Louie goes to board his plane and realizes that he left his luggage on the train. He panics and asks a security officer (Russell G. Jones) for help. The officer drives Louie out onto the tarmac and lets him watch a security team in Hazmat suits put luggage into a controlled demolition container and burn luggage. Since Louie can’t identify it from afar, he gives up on the luggage. The security guard then drives him directly to the plane, and he boards. Upon arrival at his destination, Louie buys new luggage and clothes. Alexa Torres is the flight attendant announcing the flight. NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. 12/3/23
• 061. The Road: Part 2 – 5/28/2015
  • Louie arrives in Oklahoma City, where he meets up with a young girl named April (Zandi Holup), the daughter of the Joker’s club owner (Richard Council) where he will be playing an engagement. April insists on looking at her phone while driving him, making him extremely nervous. She takes Louie to the condo where he will be staying with his opening act M.C. Kenny (Jim Florentine), who he finds vulgar right off the bat. Kenny offers to have drinks with him, but Louie secludes himself in his room. That night at the club, the owner insists that Louie wear a suit or a jacket while he is on, but Louie refuses. He also quickly finds that the audience there doesn’t find him funny, while they seem to enjoy Kenny’s juvenile humor. The next morning, Louie finds that Kenny has two women in the condo, so he goes for a walk to a local flea market. There he finds a tent where they sell old-fashioned Civil War era photos. A mother (Connie Ray) and her daughter (Nadia Quinn) are getting their pictures made, but the photographer (Brad Aldous) suggests the photo would be so much more authentic with a man. The ladies ask Louie to be in the picture. Although nervous to get dressed up in a Captain’s outfit, he eventually is talked into it. When he appears out of the dressing room, he dances to a violin player with the daughter. That night at the club, Kenny once again gets more laughs by doing such juvenile antics as lighting his farts. The club owner tells Louie that he is going to cut his set from an hour to 30 minutes in order to end the show with more energy. When Kenny goes back on, he does insulting impersonations of Louie onstage. When Louie gets back home, he tries to ignore Kenny, but is told that he is an asshole and no fun whatsoever. Louie tells Kenny that he is a hack, a moron, and disgrace to comedy. He tells Kenny that his jokes are completely unfunny, and he hates going onstage after him. Kenny tells Louie that at least he gets laughs, and that Louie shouldn’t be above doing fart jokes. Louie starts to cry and has to admit that he finds farts funny. The two decide to split a bottle of whiskey and bury the hatchet. However, when Kenny tries to use the restroom in the toilet tank while Louie is throwing up in it, he falls and hits his head on the sink, causing blood to pool up under him. Louie takes him to the hospital, but the doctor (Don Castro) informs Louie and the club owner that Kenny has died after losing too much blood. Louie later arrives home from his trip and pins his Civil War picture onto the refrigerator. When Jane asks about it, Louie tells her that the man in the picture is his great great-great-great-grandfather Black Bottom Pit, who fought at Appomattox, fired the last shot of the Civil War, and was killed by snakes.  NOTE: This is the second of a two-part episode. 4/11/24

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