The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Opening theme: “You Make Me Happy” written by Holly Knight, performed by Will Hoge

• 001. Pilot – 9/30/2002
  • Bill Miller (Mark Addy) is an overweight and somewhat dimwitted department store toilet salesman living in a Chicago with his wife Judy (Jami Gertz), a dental assistant, and their three kids Brian (Taylor Ball), Lauren (Renee Olstead), and Tina (Soleil Borda). Bill gives Brian some advice about attracting girls by behaving like a cool kid instead of a nerd. This advice backfires when Brian is caught smoking at school and the parents have to go in and talk to the principal Miss Bodin (Patricia Belcher), who remembers Bill from high school and blames him for the advice. Judy comes to the rescue and sticks up for him. Meanwhile Judy’s sister Linda (Jennifer Irwin) brings her new psychologist boyfriend Paul (Maurice Godin), who convinces Bill and Judy to play the game of “Truth Be Told” in which they are honest with each other about their pet peeves. Bill finds that unloading the things that irritate him helps his neck unstiffen, much to the chagrin of Judy. They end up deciding it is much better on their relationship if they just continue lying to each other. 6/22/15

• 002. Still Reading – 10/7/2002
  • Judy joins Book Club in order to exercise her brain, while Bill is perfectly content with watching TV with his friend Mike (Scott Adsit), and managing to disrupt the first meeting. However one night while on the toilet he picks up Judy’s book and finishes it. Linda meanwhile is smitten with the Book Club’s moderator Terrance (Sean Masterson), but Terrance is more interested in Judy’s input… until Bill in passing imparts his insightful interpretations. Bill is invited back which irritates Judy who feels the need to be smarter than him. They end up bickering so bad during the meeting that they are both kicked out of Book Club. Judy admits her need to be smarter than Bill, while he is caught paying off Brian for reading the book and giving him a report. 6/22/15
• 003. Still in School – 10/14/2002
  • Bill, Judy, and Linda attend their 20th high school reunion. Linda has designs on impressing her ex-boyfriend Steve Upton (Dan Gauthier), Bill has an ongoing feud with Jerry Bergner (Lex Medlin) over who can eat more, and Judy starts to feel bad about her life when she realizes that the most popular girl in school Kristy Duncan (Beth Littleford) is still ultra successful. To make Judy feel better, Bill fabricates a story and tells her that Kristy’s husband Ted (Randy Lowell) is having an affair. When Judy starts spreading the rumor the next morning at the class pancake breakfast, he has to do damage control which gets misinterpreted that Ted is gay. Bill also goes head to head with Jerry in a pancake eating contest, but it is never settled when the caterers run out of pancakes. Linda ends up hooking up with Steve and spending the night with him, but the next morning he remembers why he broke up with her when she won’t let the fact that he doesn’t like The Beatles go. 8/4/15
• 004. Still Rocking – 10/21/2002
  • With her 13th birthday coming up, Lauren is upset because a boy she likes named Alex (Colton James) hasn’t asked her out. Judy warns Bill that now that Lauren is a teenager, only she can help with the problems and that he needs to stay out of her affairs. Bill tires to cheer Lauren up, but ends up blowing it, much to Judy’s chagrin. Furthermore Bill runs into Alex and buys his lunch to get him to call Lauren, which mortifies her. Judy does damage control and arranges for Lauren and her friends go to a Blink 182 concert for her birthday. Bill blows it again when he tells Alex that Lauren now does not like him. Confused, Bill finally offers Lauren $50 to let him off the hook. Judy ends up mortifying Lauren even more when she is caught on the Jumbotron flashing the band at the concert. 8/5/15
• 005. Still Volunteering – 10/28/2002
  • Bill and Judy are criticized by school mom Mary Simms (Kerri Kenney) when Bill brings the wrong cheese and crackers to Tina’s school play. They are even further ostracized when they fall asleep during the play. They then realize that they are not putting as much effort into Tina as they had their other kids, so they start volunteering at her school, with Bill acting as greeter to incoming students, and Judy entertaining the class. Both efforts are met with disaster and Bill and Judy are told that their services are no longer required for helping with the school Halloween party. When Mary’s ‘Harvest Party’ ends up a complete bore, Bill saves the day by coming in dressed as the candy monster. They become more confident in their parenting when they realize that Tina hasn’t been pretending to be sick in order to avoid embarrassment… but rather she is really sick and they hadn’t noticed. 11/11/15
• 006. Still Cheering – 11/4/2002
  • Bill is ecstatic when the high school football Coach Holinger (Rich Hutchman) approaches him about getting Brian to join the team. Brian is more interested in Math and Debate Club, but goes along with it anyway when Bill tells him how it will help him get girls. Bill enjoys the perks of having his son on the team by being invited to the team parents parties led by manly man Frank (Joel McKinnon Miller). Bill is even happy when Brian has a cheerleader over, until he learns that Brian is interested in quitting the team and joining the cheer squad. Bill tries his best to be supportive, but cannot… until he finds out that Brian only wants to be a cheerleader to be with the girls. He then teaches Brian some moves to help him get on the squad… while his family video tapes him to use later for blackmail. David Koechner makes his first appearance as Bill’s friend Carl, who has an obvious crush on Linda. 11/13/15
• 007. Still Cheating – 11/11/2002
  • Bill has no interest in meeting Linda’s new boyfriend Eric (Mitch Rouse), but they end up hitting it off and start spending a lot of time together. Linda then catches Eric cheating on her, and Judy’s demand that Bill think of his family first interferes with his friendship with Eric. Bill begins sneaking around to spend time with Eric, but then realizes that Eric has stood him up by going to a Blackhawks vs. Red Wings hockey game with another friend. Linda decides to take Eric back, but Bill can’t stop referring to Eric as a ‘cheater’. This causes multiple rifts when Judy finds out that Bill has been sneaking around to see Eric, and when Linda finds out that Judy stood her up to watch the hockey game on TV with Bill. Eric and Bill  however decide to watch TV together while everyone else is fighting. 1/6/15
• 008. Still Family – 11/18/2002
  • Linda tells Judy about the way she and her new boyfriend Doug have ‘family night’ with Doug’s kids, which leads Judy to try and press her family into the same thing. No one will cooperate as she tries to push the game Complications, Go Fish, and a jigsaw puzzle on them. Bill feels bad and plans a night at the Planetarium for the family, but at the last minute finds out from Bergner that it the night of the bowling league tryouts. Bill changes plans and takes the family to the bowling alley, and attempts to secretly alternate between lanes, while Judy contends with the competitive family on the lane next to them, the Jensens – Big Tom (Jerry Lambert), Cheryl (Meagan Fay), Tommy (Micah Henson), Cindy (Ashley Brown), and Austin (Dylan Wagner) – who insist that they are playing against the Millers. Judy finally catches on to what is going on and abandons the family night. But when they are taunted by the Jensens, the family pulls together… and loses a $66 bet that they will win. Judy is simply happy that they all pulled together. Doug breaks up with Linda. 1/7/16
• 009. Still Thankful – 11/25/2002
  • Judy’s parents Gene (Steven Gilborn) and Helen (Janet Carroll) come to stay at the Miller house for Thanksgiving weekend. Neither Judy nor Bill can stand their constant bickering, and it really becomes a big issue when the folks say they are going to be staying for at least a week. Bill gives Gene some advice that he says he’s always used on Judy called the “Wife Away” whereby he tells Judy what she wants to hear to end the argument, while in his own head he has told her something else. Gene starts to employ this method with Helen, and soon they are getting along well. That night Judy walks in on her parents having sex in the living room, and the next morning is awkward for everyone. Gene decides he can no longer continue being nice, and spills the beans to everyone about Bill’s method. This leads to a fight between Bill and Judy, during which Bill also spills the beans that they don’t want her parents staying for a week. The folks leave, and Bill tries to employ “Wife Away” as Judy berates him for his method of arguing, while Judy resorts to fake crying in order to get a real apology. Meanwhile Linda tries to get the approval of her parents by cooking Thanksgiving dinner, but it goes virtually unnoticed. 3/17/16
• 010. Still Scalping – 12/9/2002
  • Judy is interested in a promotion to another dentist office, but she is afraid the job will go to her colleague Colleen (Amy Benedict) so Bill suggests that Judy schmooze and develop a rapport with her boss, Dr. Nathan Gerber (Richard Kind), particularly in the area of his biggest interest: opera. Nathan falls for it and ends up giving Judy two tickets to the opera, which Bill trades in for hockey tickets. Nathan then asks for tickets back, but settles on the promise from Judy that she’ll share every detail with him, thus forcing Bill and Judy to attend the opera the night before the hockey game so that she can speak about it intelligently. Nathan then decides to buy separate tickets so that he can sit with Bill and Judy at the same performance. Bill gets tickets back from his scalper Carl, but they are for better seats. He is sure that the patrons will trade up for the better seats, but when he asks them, they refuse to move. Bill shuffles two of the people in the row behind to the better seats, and two more to the seats that belong to Nathan and his wife Beverly (Carolyn Seymour). After they sit down, Nathan realizes they are in the wrong seats, so Judy finally has to confess the entire ruse. Nathan is extremely irritated, but when Judy starts to piece it together that he is having an affair with Colleen, Bill negotiates not only the promotion, but also an additional week vacation. They then head to the hockey game. Meanwhile Linda hosts a slumber party for Lauren and her friends, and drives them all crazy putting on her own fashion show and calling ex-boyfriends to berate them. The girls end up reporting her to the police. Victor McCay is the stubborn opera patron. Other patrons include Linda Dangcil, Steven Shaw, and Bennet Guillroy. 3/17/16
• 011. Still Spending – 12/16/2002
  • Bill is drooling over a big screen TV at work, but Judy won’t let him have the $1000 to buy it. Bill then finds out that Judy has been loaning her sister Linda money, but Judy insists that a loan is much different then spending. Bill gets the idea to loan $300 to his co-worker Jeff Hackman (Chris Elliott) so that he will have enough to purchase the TV, and Bill can consequently use it whenever he wants. When their water heater breaks and Bill can’t find any errors in Judy’s bookkeeping, they decide to get the money back from Jeff, who is now laid up at his mother’s (Patience Cleveland) house with a broken pelvis, which happened when he tries to move the TV. Jeff is too drugged up and loopy to comprehend what is going on, and his mother throws them out when Bill tries to swipe the keys to Jeff’s apartment. Carl brings money over to give to Jeff, but when his mother won’t let them back in, they end up just taking it themselves. 6/20/16
• 012. Still Bullying – 1/6/2003
  • Bill takes off some of his accumulated sick days, as Lauren is preparing for her first school dance. When Bill doesn’t answer the phone because he is playing sick, Judy has to pick up Lauren from school when she and her friends are caught bullying a fellow student named Kathy. Judy grounds her and takes away the dance from her, although Bill thinks she is overreacting. Judy tells Lauren about a girl named Gina Morelli who used to bully her, but Bill later reveals to Lauren that it was actually Gina who was bullied by Judy. She gets irritated with Bill for the lack of a united front, and tells him that he can be in charge of discipline. He revokes the punishment and takes Lauren dress shopping, much to Judy’s irritation and sadness at missing out on the experience. Three hours later, Bill and Lauren are still shopping. When Bill gets the dress that Lauren picked out stolen by a rude mother (Marsha Clark), it takes Judy showing up for the rescue and demanding it back. Judy convince Lauren that bullying is bad and makes an attempt at calling Gina to apologize, but when Gina laughs at Judy for marrying Bill, while Gina has become a big success, Judy reverts back to her bullying. 6/20/16
• 013. Still Good Cop – 1/27/2003
  • Bill lets the kids stay up to watch a movie with Bill, but insists that they don’t fall asleep on the couch.. but when she comes down at 3am, they’re all asleep except Tina. Judy gets tired of always being the ‘bad cop’ and says she won’t do it anymore, hoping it will backfire on Bill. However it actually gives Judy a lot of free time and a good night’s sleep, so she decides that she will make bing the ‘good cop’ permanent. Bill starts to then get stressed and says he will be a the good cop as well until one of them caves. The kids start to take advantage and Lauren asks Bill to take her to get her belly button pierced, and Brian asks Judy if he can drive the car. He ends up crashing it into a dumpster, and Judy finds out that Bill had told Brian to ask but that he wasn’t supposed to actually do it. Bill folds too and doesn’t let Lauren get the piercing. They return to their old selves. 9/8/16
• 014. Still Scoring – 2/3/2003
  • Linda introduces Bill and Judy to her new boyfriend, a much younger athletic man Trevor (Greg Vaughan). While Linda pretends that she’s 27 years old, Bill starts to feel inferior so he joins a roller hockey league. After one violent and fast-paced game where they call him ‘Phil’, he is so sore he can barely move. When Judy makes fun of him, Bill reminds her that she hasn’t worked out in years, so she joins Linda’s spinning class taught by Trevor. After her workout, she can barely move either. She and Bill try to hide their lack of ability to move from each other, but eventually admit that they’re getting older and hate working out. Linda pretends to turn 28. Will Burke is Jim. Other team members are Chad Einbinder and Dalia Vosylius. 9/8/16 
• 015. Still Romancing – 2/10/2013
  • When Brian asks for advice on what to do for his crush Bonnie (Ashley Tisdale) for Valentines Day, both Judy and Bill are surprised that the holiday has come up and although they each make a minimal effort to do something to celebrate, they realize that their romance is dead and vow to find something special to do. Carl’s suggestion to Brian is to trade lunches with Bonnie and pretend he has gotten food poisoning until she goes out with him. Meanwhile Judy’s gesture is to go to Bill’s work naked under a trench coat, but she is mistaken for a shoplifter by the security guard (Steve Ryan). Bill has put a graphic romantic note in Judy’s lunch… but it turns out to have actually been Brian’s lunch, which is traded with Bonnie. The lunch winds up in the Principal Bodin’s office and Bill and Judy are called to the school, where Judy and Bill are berated by Bodin for being just as immature as they were in high school. Bonnie confesses to Brian that she actually likes the note and gives him a big kiss. 12/1/16
• 016. Still Hairdressing – 2/17/2003
  • Bill and Judy each have their outlets to complain about the other, Bill with his poker buddies, and Judy with her hairdresser Gary Maddox (David Hasselhoff). When Bill comes to pick up Judy, he razzes Gary about the high prices and the racket he is running, which ticks off Gary and causes him to avoid scheduling Judy. Bill goes to apologize, which Gary not only accepts, but he offers to shampoo Bill’s dry hair and give him a neck massage. Bill gets addicted to this new outlet, but once he starts stealing Judy’s stories, she demand that he refrain from seeing him. He sneaks and sees him anyway and is caught when Judy and Linda are shopping at the mall. They end up drawing high-card to see who gets to see him and Bill wins, but he is so humiliated by his friends that he agrees to stop seeing Gary. However in reality, he now goes to see Gary and massage his neck so he can get Gary’s advice… while Carl tries to get an appointment with him as well. Bill and Judy continue to embarrass Brian while he tries to talk to Bonnie on the phone and have her over. Oscar Nunez is Tim. 12/2/16
• 017. Still Excelling – 3/10/2003
  • Judy visits Lauren’s class and learns from her science teacher Mrs. Cutler (Amy Hill) that although she thought Brian was an excellent student, she has no hope for Lauren to excel. Judy decides to help Lauren with her science project tornado simulator, and she and Bill end up doing the entire project, going far above what Lauren has ever done before. Mrs. Cutler decides to advance Lauren to honors science, and Bill and Judy vow to help her every step of the way. While Lauren is supposed to be at the library studying, her parents do all of her homework. They end up getting two disappointments when Mrs. Cutler gives Lauren a poor grade on their volcano project, and find out from Linda that Lauren has been spending time at the mall with a boy named David instead of studying. The boy turns out to be her lab partner, and in order to stay in the class, she vows to work harder. 3/12/17
• 018. Still Sisters – 3/31/2003
  • Bill and Judy plan for a double date with Linda and her boyfriend Nick to restaurant where a lot of famous athletes hang out. Before they leave Judy volunteers to help Linda organize a Tupperware party. When Nick stands her up, the three of them stay for dinner and Judy ends up leaving with the restaurant owner Matt Russell (Jeffrey Nordling). Judy warns her not to move too fast, and when Linda keeps dating him and neglects to help Judy with the Tupperware party, the sisters have a falling out. This leads to Judy interfering with the lives of her family much more, so Bill resorts to begging Linda to reconcile with Judy. Bill also finds out that Matt turned out to be creep who tried to arrange a threeway, leading to her breaking down and crying on Bill’s shoulder. When Judy finds out, she rushes over to comfort Linda, and promises to stop interfering in her life. She has to recant when Matt shows up for a second chance and Judy slams the door in his face. Bill hosts the Tupperware party and teams up with Tina to elicit pity to sell items. Laura Pinner is the restaurant hostess. 3/12/17
• 019. Still Changing – 4/14/2003
  • Carl tells Bill that their old friend, a wild and crazy guy named Weezer (Hugh O’Gorman) is in town so they meet up with him and his wife Dr. Sarah Cunningham (Wendy Braun). They find that Weezer has been domesticated and is now boring, which leads Bill to realize that he too has toned down because of Judy. Bill decides to reclaim his youth and independence by creating a man fort, growing a mustache, smoking cigars, and wearing Jams. Judy retaliates by hanging out with her old friend Sandy Hartwick (Elizabeth Berridge), whom Bill once forbade her from seeing. Soon Judy is staying out and getting drunk. When Bill and Judy attend Lauren’s clarinet recital, Bill suffers from chronic cough and Judy is hungover. After convincing Lauren to quit after a horrible performance, neither Bill nor Judy takes much convincing to give up their new ‘wild’ lifestyle. 9/11/17
• 020. Still Petting – 4/28/2003
  • Judy feels like she gives in too easily to Dr. Gerber when he asks her to work extra hours, but instead of standing up for herself, she agrees to dog-sit for his dog Schnitzel when he gets kicked out of his house when his wife Beverly finds out he’s have an affair. At first Bill is irritated, but he starts to warm up to the dog, and allows the dog to misbehave and do thing he’s not allowed to. Dr. Gerber finds out and is angry at first, but then Bill convinces him that rules don’t have to be followed and that’s it’s more important for him to be happy. Gerber begins living by the same rules, and enjoys it so much that he hangs out constantly at the Miller house. Bill enjoys it because Judy feels she has to wait on Gerber and thus, also waits on him. She forces Bill to tell him that he’s spending too much time there, so he tells him that now that he’s free he needs to do other things. It backfires when Gerber announces he’s going to give up his dental practice and open a restaurant… meaning Judy will be out of a job. She reads Gerber the riot act and tells him that he’s going through a mid-life crisis. Gerber agrees to go back to his wife and continue his practice, but Judy now gets stuck taking care of Gerber’s mother who hurt her back. Maz Jobrani is the patient Mr. Conway. 9/13/17
• 021. Still Mom – 5/5/2003
  • Bill’s mother Louise (Sally Struthers) makes plans directly with Tina to come visit from Joliet, much to the chagrin of Bill who finds her to be manipulating and cruel to him. The guilt trips begin immediately when she walks in the door, and Judy tries to talk Bill into standing up against her. He tries this while they are driving, prompting her to get out of the car, forcing him to drive away. While she is wandering around, she gets a job at the adult video store Play Pen Video. Bill tries to keep it secret from his friends, but she blab it them when she comes home early. When he confronts her about it, she claims she is going to move to Chicago, and packs up and leaves. Bill and Judy go to visit her at he porn shop, and when Bill apologizes, Louise tells him that although she initially did it to make him feel guilty, but now she wants to keep the job, feeling she now has a purpose following her divorce. Peter Breitmeyer is Rusty. Jason Hillhouse is a customer. 1/20/18
• 022. Still Partying – 5/12/2003
  • Lauren tries to be honest with her parents and ask permission to attend an unsupervised teenage co-ed party that will have alcohol, to which they can only laugh at her and deny her permission. They make it clear that Brian can’t go either, but he is more upset that he hasn’t been invited even though it his friends’ party. Bill tries to give him pointers for crashing parties that he hasn’t been invited to. While Bill and Judy attend an AC/DC concert, they get Linda to babysit the kids, to ensure that Lauren doesn’t sneak out to the party. The kids are completely bored with Linda’s ‘party-in-a-box’, and when Bill and Judy phone home to check on Lauren, Linda discovers that she isn’t in her bed. Bill and Linda immediately head to the party, but instead of finding  Lauren there, they find  Brian. Bill tries to cover up the fact that he gave Brian pointers, and they take him home, not able to locate Lauren. As they begin to worry, Lauren comes up from the basement, claiming she was only hiding from Linda’s box party, and that she was listening to her parents’ old records. They apologize for not trusting her, but then catch Linda and her friends outside sneaking out the basement. They punish the kids, and warn them that there’s no scheme they can do that they won’t be one step ahead of them on. Privately they realize the kids are smarter and not scare of them, and that they might be screwed. Gabriel Clifton and Mark L. Young are kids at the party. 1/20/18

SEASON 2

• 023. Still Negotiating – 9/22/2203
  • Lauren’s sleepover with her friends Kristin (Ashley Monique Clark) and Bethany (Daniella Monet) is interrupted by her family. Lauren is then further irritated when Judy insists that she take some more challenging college prep courses. Linda suggests that Judy work on negotiating with Lauren to get her to be more receptive, and Bill tries the ‘big angry guy’ approach, but Lauren laughs at him. So they return to the ‘negotiating’ angle and promise if she sticks with her classes, they’ll respect her privacy. Lauren is receptive, but when Linda and Brian get involved, they are forces to spell out specifics of their promises. Things go well, and Bill even begins working on a contract between him and Judy. However when Lauren exercises her right to have friends in her room and brings home her friend Jason (John Patrick Amedori), Bill freaks out and rips off her door. Judy insists that Bill return the door and give him her privacy. However she finds out that there’s a reason she wants to be alone with him… she is having Jason do her homework. Bill finally says he gives up and it is all his fault for setting a bad example, until Lauren finally breaks down and says she’ll stay in the class and do the work. He later admits to Judy that he is using his new character ‘disappointed with himself guy’ to get Lauren to do what he wants. 12/9/18
• 024. Still Driving – 9/29/2003
  • Report cards arrive for Lauren and Brian. Lauren’s grades are up and asks for more money to buy vintage clothes. Bill finds out that Brian is taking Drivers Ed, and wants to help tutor him since his report card says that Brian lacks confidence behind the wheel. Brian would rather concentrate on his studies, but Bill talks him into driving with him, immaturely teaching him all the wrong things. Meanwhile Judy digs into her vintage concert t-shirts for Lauren, but won’t let her have any of the cool ones. Brian hates the experience with Bill, so he asks Judy to take him driving in secret. Bill buys a 1981 party van for Brian, using the new car and pool table fund. When the whole family goes for a ride, it becomes obvious that Judy has been teaching him to drive. Bill is upset to learn that Brian sees him as impatient, and it has been Judy teaching him all of his life skills. However when Brian is brought home late that night by his friend Bonnie’s father (Timothy Davis-Reed), Bill is ecstatic to learn that Brian has learned how to sneak out and go parking with girls. He and Judy decide to ground him anyway so that they can use the van. 12/9/18
• 025. Still the Bad Parents – 10/6/2003
  • In the midst of a heat wave, Bill talks Judy into attending Lauren’s school PTA meeting. Although she attempts to sneak out, she is forced by the PTA president Elise Larkin (Tracy Nelson) to come up with an issue that needs addressed. Judy brings up the heavy backpacks that the kids have to carry, and gets massive support from the other parents, and strikes up a friendship with Elise, earning an invite to the barbecue at Elise and her husband Jake’s (Jim Holmes) house. Meanwhile Bill catches Brian sifting through Bill’s wallet, and finds out that Brian wants a condom so that his ‘friend’ Dorian can carry it around to impress the guys. Bill realizes it is actually for Brian to be a big shot, so he gives him one. Later at the barbecue, Judy and Bill learn that Elise and Jake’s son is Dorian (Travis Cantrell) and assume that he actually did want the condom and intends to use it with his girlfriend Tracy (Cassie Silva). Bill and Judy think it is their duty to tell Dorian’s parents, but when Dorian flat out denies it, this leads to a fight and Bill and Judy are sent home. When they arrive, they find that Brian is his room with his girlfriend Bonnie, so they are naturally concerned that Brian is planning to have sex. They give him the sex talk about how it is best to wait and that he is forbidden from having sex at his age. However, facing reality, they give him the condom to keep anyway. Christopher T. Wood is a parent at the PTA meeting. 12/2/19
• 026. Still Our Kids – 10/13/2003
  • Brian and Lauren are complaining that they have no money, and since their parents won’t give them any, Bill suggests that the kids get jobs. Brian gets a job at a bookstore for a guy named Chuck Quinn (John Ennis), and Lauren begins a babysitting job with the Logans, where she somehow turns into an excellent homemaker, a skill she fails to display at home. Brian becomes close with Chuck and begins confiding in him rather than Bill when he and Bonnie break up. Hard feelings escalate when Bill and Judy find out that Chuck likes the White Sox instead of the Cubs. Judy is likewise getting hurt when the Logans invite Lauren to go on a ski trip to Aspen on Christmas. Bill and family go to the Cubs/White Sox game to spy on Brian, and he ends up stealing a seat behind Brian to prevent Brian from wearing a White Sox cap and makes a spectacle of himself. He ends up fighting Chuck for a baseball and accidentally hits Brian in the eye. Bill begs to be forgiven and tries his utmost to give Brian all of his attention so that he can tell him about his breakup. Lauren is devastated when the Logans hire an au pair and she is replaced. Tina goes on a search for money in the house, and winds up with an abundance of quarters. Connie Jackson and Teddy Lane Jr. are fans at the game. Michael Holt is the man in the bleachers. 12/2/19
• 027. Still Got It – 10/20/2003
  • When Lauren doesn’t make the dance team at school, Bill and Judy go to the school talk to the dance teacher Mrs. Weiner. While there, Bill runs into the Drama teacher Madelyne Beck (Maureen Cassidy), a childhood sweetheart who Bill once had a fling with in high school when he had separated from Judy. She is very flirtatious with Bill, and after he leaves, she offers Lauren a part in the school play which includes a monologue. Bill confesses his past relationship with Madelyne to Linda, and she promises to keep it a secret. Bill agrees to help build the sets, and it appears that Madelyne’s flirting intensifies even more. However when Bill refuses to go to her house to transport a clock to the set, she grows cold to him… and suddenly Lauren loses her monologue. Bill admits to Judy that he thinks Madelyne is after him, but Judy encourages it if it will help Lauren get her monologue back. Bill lays the flirting on thick, and talks Madelyne into giving her a bigger part. On the night of the play, Linda lets it slip that Bill had slept with her, so they get in an argument at the play. Lauren overhears it and thinks that she only got the role because of her relationship with Bill. Madelyne also reveals that she is now a lesbian. Judy then finds the whole thing hilarious, but Bill has to make things right with Lauren, and assures her that she got the part because of her talent. Joel Murray makes his first appearance as Bill’s friend Danny “Fitz” Fitzsimmons. Chad Lewis and Emily Shipley are the kids in Lauren’s scene. 3/29/20
• 028. Still Shoplifting – 10/27/2003
  • Lauren has a new group of stuck-up, snotty friends named Jenna (Joy Lauren aka Joy Jorgensen), Amber (Shelley Buckner), and Caitlin (Katherine Mullen Vint), whom Bill and Judy don’t like. Furthermore they don’t like Lauren’s recent attitude and her entitlement of wanting an MP3 player. Bill thinks they can rely on Lauren to make good decisions, but later while Bill is dealing with a difficult customer (Kathleen Campbell), Judy comes into his work to tell him that she had to pick up Lauren at the mall for shoplifting a bracelet. Lauren swears that she just tried it on and forgot to pay for it, and Bill says he believes her, while Judy is skeptical. Later Judy finds an unopened MP3 player under Lauren’s bed, so although she denies taking it and says she has no idea where it came from, they ground her for four weeks and make her return it to Crazy John’s. Lauren is furious at them for not trusting her, and sulks around the house. Brian later tells them that he bought it for Lauren for her birthday and hid it under her bed where she would never look. Judy and Bill have to eat crow and apologize to Lauren, but then she feels guilty and admits that she really did steal the bracelet but has since dumped her unsympathetic friends who merely laughed at her for getting caught. Judy reduces the grounding, and then reduces it even further to one week when they have to admit they also forgot her birthday. Meanwhile Linda works on a college project by filming Tina choosing toys that won’t conform to gender roles, but Tina is more interested in simply mugging for the camera. Linda however still gets an A, when she wears a thong to class. 3/29/20
• 029. Still Our Little Boy – 11/3/2003
  • As the family prepares for Bill’s fortieth birthday, Bill and Judy discover that Brian is over-applying cologne. When Bill talks to him, he finds out that Brian has been skipping showers after gym class because he is embarrassed to be naked in front of his classmates because he is different from them. Bill is proud of himself for advising him to wait until the other kids are done taking a shower. Judy thinks Bill should have given him a more inspirational speech about feeling normal even if he is developing slower than others. When Judy gives him an article about developing differently than others, Brian is livid that his father told her about his problem. Bill tries to tell him that there is always someone who is ‘bigger’ than the others, then finds out that the ‘bigger’ guy is actually Brian. Bill then becomes extremely proud and starts telling everyone the truth about the situation including Linda and Fitz. When Brian tells this out, he is beyond angry and tells him he hates him. Judy then has an awkward conversation with his mother, and she tries to convince him that he will need his father to have these awkward conversations. The best he can do is agree to be civil for his father’s birthday dinner. Bill then confesses some of his most embarrassing confessions – how he once eat an entire can of dog food, how he practiced kissing on his German Shepherd, and sometimes wears his mother’s maternity underwear. What he doesn’t realize is that everyone is hiding in the room for his surprise party and overheard everything. Meanwhile Lauren and Tina make Bill a cake for his birthday and Lauren loses her earrings in it. Bill finds one and Fitz swallows the other. Chad Einbinder is one of their friends. 7/10/20
• 030. Still Interfering – 11/10/2003
  • Bill and Judy announce that they will be chaperoning the kids’ 80’s dance at school. The kids are freaked out enough, but it becomes worse when Judy buys Brian a shirt to wear, while Brian’s girlfriend Bonnie buys one of her own. Brian wants to please Bonnie, and Judy feels that he is doing too much bending over backward for her approval. She tries to coach him to have his own opinions and tells him that girls respect men who stand up for themselves. Brian doesn’t want to rock the boat, but follows her advice and stand up for himself… prompting her to break it off with him. Meanwhile Brian has been bringing a football player friend named Chad (Aaron Hill) home to study. Bill has a lot of similarities with Chad including playing the same position and having the same uniform number in football, so Bill take him under his wing, giving advice including how to score with women. But when Chad asks Lauren to go to the dance, Bill is aghast and tells Lauren she cannot go with him. Bill and Judy both agree that they need to stop interfering in their kids’ love lives, but neither can help themselves when Judy invites Bonnie over to try and reconcile her and Brian, and Bill talks to Chad and realizes that he had no intention of trying to ‘score’ but only to have a date for the dance since he is rather shy with girls. As Judy and Bill find out each others’ schemes, they are too busy to notice that Bonnie and Chad have hit it off and plan on going to the dance. While Bill and Judy chaperon the dance, Lauren and Brian wind up staying home and making fun of their parents. Meanwhile Judy sucks two of Tina’s gerbils up in the vacuum cleaner. 7/10/20
• 031. Still Dreaming – 11/17/2003
  • When Linda loses out on a promotion, Judy asks Bill to be nice to her, so when Lauren looks for a role model for a school report, he sees the opportunity to avoid her questions and make Linda feel better. Lauren is bored with most of Linda’s stories about dating, but she becomes interested when Linda tells her about a project of creating clothing outfits for goose statues. In fact, she joins her in making them and promoting them on a website, which starts to earn her some money. Judy feels bad initially that Lauren didn’t choose her as a role model, and then that she never did anything creative with her life. She talks Bill into doing something creative as well, getting him to build Adirondack chairs that she then paints. She hopes to join Linda and Lauren at the flea market selling them. Bill tries to load the van, but then finds they are too big to get out of the doorway of the basement. After he disassembles and reassembles them, Lauren tells her that she has incorporated her mother as well as Gwen Stefani and Maya Angelou into the paper about Linda. Judy is so flattered whens she sees how much Lauren really admires her, that she decides to give up on the Adirondack chairs. Nevertheless, Bill forces her to sell the chairs. 10/26/20
• 032. Still Believing – 11/24/2003
  • Lauren has a new boyfriend named Matthew Halverson (Sean Kelly Magner), but she doesn’t seem to want his parents to meet hers, even telling them that her parents are out of time with sick aunt. Eventually they get an invite to come to the Halverson potluck and they enthusiastically accept. Lauren tells her parents that the Halversons are really good people who have been taking her to church with them. They go to the potluck, which is miserable because the family has sing-alongs with two banjo players (Daniel Bryan Cartwell, Danny Oderbeck), play charades, and do a murder mystery. Judy over-extends herself trying to appear to be very religious. Bill thinks he is buying raffle tickets from Matthew’s parents Ted (Kevin Nealon) and Kathy (Marin Mazzie), but winds up with tickets to see the church performance of Godspell. It happens to fall on the same night as Ozzy Osbourne’s Ozzfest concert, so they make an excuse that they have to go help the sick aunt again. Judy really starts to feel bad when Ted catches them at the ATM talking about how lame the Godspell play would have been, and then find out that Tina stole a Jesus statue from the Halversons. She starts to ponder whether they should be taking their family to church. The run into a priest (David Brisbin) at a coffee shop with whom they seek spiritual advice, and he convinces them that spending an hour pondering a higher power isn’t a bad thing. It turns out that the ‘priest’ was a worker at the coffee shop, and the guy who called him ‘father’ was his actual son Daniel (James Silverman). The family returns to the Halversons to ask for an apology and return the Jesus statue – or rather a replacement since they broke the original. They wind up having to slink out when Tina thinks that the Jesus statue is Kenny Loggins, and refuses to give it back. All the while Brian works on his own musical about Louis Pasteur. 10/26/20
• 033. Still Christmas – 12/15/2003
  • When Judy finds out that her parents are going on a cruise for Christmas, she is ecstatic that she’ll finally be able to host her own family Christmas celebration. Bill’s mother Louise however has her own plans and tries to talk them to coming to her new apartment for the holiday meal. Since she makes it known how much she misses the old days of playing Christmas tunes on her piano, Bill buys her a portable keyboard, thinking this will entice her to come to their house and bring it along. However she reciprocates by buying a grand piano and having it put in Bill and Judy’s house. Bill has to tell her to take it back, but agrees to have the dinner at her house, much to Judy’s irritation. When they arrive at the dinner, they find that she has moved the baby grand piano into her apartment, leaving almost no room to move. They are forced to have the dinner on the piano. As Judy gets drunk on bourbon-soaked cherries, Bill finds out that his mother has sold virtually every gift he’s ever bought for her, including the portable keyboard. He and the family storm out of the dinner, leaving her alone. She comes over to their house on Christmas morning and apologizes, showing him that she kept all of the cards that he ever made her, but telling him that she always looked at big gifts as a way to get around spending time with her. Bill agrees to start spending more time with her, if she’ll agree to get a better TV. Meanwhile Linda decides to help a ‘less fortunate’ co-worker named Stacy (Jillian Bach), who simply needs a makeover. However as soon as she gets a makeover, she gets a date with Mark McCarthy, a guy at the office who Linda had always wanted for herself.  Tina becomes scared of Santa when the mall version of him has a seizure. Bill tries to dress up as Santa to alleviate her fear, but when his suit is full of spiders, it scares her once again. 2/14/21
• 034. Still Responsible – 1/5/2004
  • Judy’s parents Gene (Steven Kilborn) and Helen Michaels (Janet Carroll) return from their cruise and plan to take the kids for several days and go to the train museum that they do annually. However when they come to pick up the kids, Helen hears Judy sneeze and cough, so they delay the trip so that she can look after Judy, who does in fact come down with a fever and wind up in bed. While Gene dominates the TV with the weather channel, Helen forces everyone in the family to pitch in with the chores. After several days, Bill discovers that Judy is now faking so that her mother will take care of her. He then feigns his own sickness so he can join in on the laziness, but when the TV in the room breaks, they start plotting to sneak out to see a screening of The Song Remains the Same. They go to pick up some beer to sneak into the theater, but Bill has forgotten his wallet so he has to scrounge for change, and since neither has their ID to present to the clerk Emma (Mary Pat Brown), they have to get a customer (Jeff Garvin) to buy it for them. However as they are leaving, Judy guilty about not buying Tina a Snow White video that the store has and she has thus been unable to find, so they return the beer and buy the video. As they are leaving, they realize they are out of gas, so they have to then return the video. Since Emma is now off, and Paco (Izzy Diaz) has taken over, and they don’t have a receipt, they wind up calling Brian and Lauren to come get them. When they return, Gene and Helen are up sick with worry. Bill and Judy blame it on the kids, and the ‘punish’ them by telling them they cannot go on the re-scheduled trip to the train museum. This is actually a huge relief for not only the kids, but Gene and Helen as well. Ed Yeager is the Snow White narrator. Tyler Derek is the TV meteorologist. 2/14/21
• 035. Still Narcing – 2/2/2004
  • The entire family is surprised when Brian gets a phone call from the Homecoming Queen Sarah Henley, and has to explain that since he’s become the basketball statistician, he’s been hanging around the team and all of the popular girls. Bill gets a call one night from some of the players – Kyle (Sam Horrigan), Andy (Taran Killam), and Steve (Joey Sylvester) – who expect Brian to pick them up since they are drunk. Bill initially hangs up on them, but then Judy guilts him into going to get them. He poses as Brian’s cousin, but when he finds out that they all call Brian ‘Jeeves’ because he is like their butler, he makes sure to honk loudly when dropping them off so they get in trouble from their parents. The next day, Brian is demoted from being the statistician to being the team mascot, and his new nickname is ‘narc’. He is furious, and doesn’t care that they used to make fun of him by calling him ‘Jeeves’. Brian claims that they all do this to one another all of the time, and that Steve’s nickname is ‘Crotchrot.’ Bill tries to make things right by giving the team members some ideas about how to prank their next basketball opponents at Hancock. They like his ideas, so they decide to re-instate ‘Jeeves’, but before they get a chance, Bill lets their upcoming prank to dress the school statue in a dress, slip to Coach Walters (Art LaFleur), who doesn’t find the prank amusing, and assigns the team to extra calisthenics. Bill is also given a nicknames of his own: ‘Suck’. Bill and Judy then go down the school again, but this time they catch the Coach yelling at Brian for the prank he played on Hancock. He tells the team that Brian stole the giant “HAN” from the “HANCOCK” sign, and he knew this because the missing “HAN” was found in Brian’s locker. The team thinks this prank is fabulous, and knowing how hard it is to get to the sign, they give Brian a new name: Spider-Man. Judy later confesses to Bill that it was she who stole the “HAN” and planted it in Brian’s locker, in order to help heal his tarnished reputation. Meanwhile Linda dates an annoying, needy guy named Pete. She pawns him off on one of her friends Susan, then gets jealous when they hit it off. Dennis Hadley is the announcer. Michael Alexander Newman is the player with the baby. 6/10/21
• 036. Still Bill’s Dad – 2/9/2004
  • Bill’s father Al (Paul Sorvino) is coming for once-every-few-years visit from Florida, during which he typically compliments Judy to death, and chats with Bill for about twenty minutes before heading out with his friends. Judy would like to see them spend more time together, so this time she suggest that Bill go out with him. Al reluctantly lets him tag along for a night out with his old pals Scully (Charles Robinson), Slim Callahan (Ron Dean), and Grinds (Jerry Hardin), who can no longer hear anything. The guys all poke fun at Bill, who never liked to revel in the same type of physically rugged activities they used to. When Bill suggests they all go back to his house to watch the game, they agree. But only Bill and Grinds make it to his house, while the others ditch them and go elsewhere. After establishing that Grinds will be spending the night, since Bill can’t seem to communicate with him, he gets a call that his father is in the hospital. When he arrives, the nurse (Heather McPhaul) tells him that if he had anything to say to his father, he’d better do it quickly. Since he and Judy think he is dying, Judy encourages him to open up, so Bill tells him about all the great times… particularly the time that the two of them went bow hunting, and Al pretended that Bill had shot him and killed him. The doctor (Lamont Thompson) then tells them that All will be fine, and that he just had indigestion… and that the nurse had just been referring to the visiting hours being almost over. Nevertheless, Al wants another opportunity to make Bill a ‘man’ and wants to take him on another bow hunting trip. Bill has little choice but to agree, but later as they are packing up to go on the trip, Al makes fun of Brian being in the Math Olympics and tells Bill that he needs to make Brian more of a man as well, Bill finally blows up and tells his father how he really feels. As Bill is yelling at him, Al chokes on a nut, and Bill has to give him the Heimlich maneuver, accidentally breaking one of Al’s ribs. Bill then decides it might be too late for him and his father, but that he can start working harder to support Brian, so he heads to the Math Olympics. Masi Oka is Ronald, another mathlete. D’Anne Avner is the Math Olympics announcer. 6/10/21
• 037. Still Flirting – 2/16/2004
  • Bill plans a dinner at the new cigar club The Churchill Room with his friends Fitz, Jerry, and Maxwell “Mack” McDaniel (John Marshall Jones). Fitz invites Judy to go along, and she quickly see why they like it so much. The food is bad and the service is terrible, but the waitress Lexi (Keesha Sharp) is cute and flirts with them. Judy isn’t upset, but wants Bill to admit that he only goes to the waitress. Bill keeps insisting that the food is great, but when Judy brings food home from there, Bill is forced to admit that the food is horrible. Meanwhile Lauren is obsessed with putting down a popular girl named Katie Daniels. Judy orders Lauren to play with Tina, but she just ends up pretending he doll is Katie and cuts off all of her hair. When Linda lets it slip in front of Bill that Judy likes to flirt with the mailman Jeremy (Ryan McPartlin), he starts to use it to his advantage in the ‘flirting’ argument. Judy and Linda go to a beauty salon and run into Lexi, and Judy chats with her and finds out that Lexi doesn’t even remember Bill and only flirts with the men in order to get tips to survive. Judy goes home and tells Bill he can go to the Churchill Room whenever he wants, and then proceeds to tell Bill all of Lexi’s physical flaws including the fact that she has a kid, when through a C-section, and has gnarly feet. Bill then brings Jeremy in the house to try and expose his flaws, but Jeremy thinks they are crazy and into wife swapping, so he storms out and tells them he’s not interested. That night, they go to bed, and they confess that Bill didn’t want to admit that he needed validation, and that Judy was in fact jealous. They also apologize to each other for spoiling each other fantasy flirts, but they’ve each got replacements in mind, and they each agree to pretend to be the new flirt buddy: Bill’s bank teller, and Judy’s neighborhood snow plow operator. Vangelis Stolidis is the beauty parlor attendant. 10/6/21
• 038. Still Groping – 2/23/2004
  • Bill is thrilled when he finds out that he no longer has to take his mother Louise shopping, so he can spend more time at home on the couch. He doesn’t care what the reason is, but Judy finds out from Tina that Nana has been talking on the phone to a man called Cupcake all evening. When Louise mentions that the man she’s going on a date with is a guy named Johnny (Clyde Kusatsu) who she met at the bank. She does however become concerned when she mentioned that he helped fill out her deposit slip, and that he helps senior citizen’s with their savings in offshore accounts. They decide to stalk them on their date at the Chinese restaurant The Monkey’s Palace. They can’t seem to find anything wrong with him, and that he won’t do business with any friends or family when they end up having dinner together. However when Judy and Bill have Louise and Johnny over for dessert after dinner, Johnny squeezes Judy’s butt on the way out. Judy doesn’t want to accuse him of anything unless she’s sure, so they host Louise’s birthday party at their house and Judy wears tight jeans in order to tempt him. Amy agrees to keep watch on her butt the entire evening so they can be sure. He behaves like a gentleman all evening, and even helps Amy with cake. But when she turns around, they find a hand print in flour on her butt as well. Although he hates to bring it up with ever fiber of his being, Bill does make his mother aware that Johnny is a groper, and as touched as Louise is that Bill cared enough to tell her, she also admits she is well aware that he does that – and even has two flour hand prints on her butt. She calls him in the kitchen and tells him to apologize like a child, and Johnny has no problem admitting it, and taking her order to apologize as his marching orders. Meanwhile, Brian and Tina get their grandmother a humidifier for her birthday. Lauren has forgotten to get a gift, and the other two won’t let her sign the card. Lauren then says she’s writing Nana a poem, but when the time come to give it to her, she has to make it up on the spot. As terrible as it is, it seems to be what Nana is most touched by. Brian can’t believe, so he tries to write her a poem. She sees touched by that as well, but then says it just chokes her up because it reminds her of Lauren’s poem. 10/7/21
• 039. Still Parading – 3/1/2004
  • As Judy is giving cold medicine to Tina that is much too strong with her and causing hallucinations, Brian is planning to build a St. Patrick’s Day parade float with his friends Donald (Marcus Toji) and Hakim (Daniel Murillo). Judy is participating in the step dancing exhibition with Lauren and her friends Kristin (Ashley Monique Clark) and Becca (Lauren Schaffel), but she doesn’t realize that she is a terrible dancer and the other girls want her to step aside. Bill is embarrassed by Brian’s project, and he and his co-worker Fitz, take Fitz’s son Scotty (Benjamin Knapple) to the batting cages. Judy suggests that Bill help Brian with the float, especially after Hakim sees a cat and has a panic attack. Bill passes the task off to Scotty, but Brian reports that they didn’t get along too well… especially when Scotty asks Brian out on a date. While Lauren tries to get Linda to tell Judy that she’s terrible at step dancing, which Linda refuses to do because she wants to videotape it, Bill is anxious to tell Fitz about his son. When Fitz comes over and Bill tells him that their boys didn’t get along, Fitz thinks it is because Scotty is a bully, and when Judy overhears him saying that he’s not going to tolerate that, Judy thinks he’s talking about Scotty being gay, so she spills the beans to him. Amazingly, Fitz tells them that he already knows it. He has decided to accept Scotty for the way he is, so Bill starts to feel guilty that he hasn’t tries to help Brian with his float. However, when he does, he winds up dressing the dancing leprechauns like baseball players, and he short-circuits it. Brian is upset with his father, and says that he will have to dress as a leprechaun and dance on the float himself. Lauren finally decides to tell Judy that she can’t dance, so Judy decides to back out of participating. Linda is disappointed that she won’t be able to tape her, but reminds her how popular she was at a wedding when she got drunk and dance. Judy decides to fill up on cold medicine and dance anyway because it makes her remarkably better. Before the parade, Bill shows up in a leprechaun outfit to join Brian on the float, which means a lot to him. Bill comes home after the parade and finds Judy, Brian, and Lauren step dancing while Linda films it. Tina attributes what she is seeing to the cold medicine. 4/3/22
• 040. Still Stressing – 3/22/2004
  • Linda has been dating a guy named Kevin, but his teenage son Jordan keeps getting in the way of Linda having alone time with Kevin, so she asks Lauren to double date with them to occupy Jordan. Meanwhile, Brian is stressed out because he and Hakim took a PSAT test and Brian did much worse. He wants to get a private tutor to get him ready, but Judy suggests that he get a job so he can hire one for himself. Brian gets a job with Bill selling appliances. Brian is a perfectionist at his job, and also tries to study for his PSAT test on his breaks. Bill suggests that he try to relax and take it easy and enjoy his breaks at work. Brian doesn’t slow down much at first, but when he sees Bill effortlessly make a quick toilet sales to a customer (Steve Seagren), he thinks that his father has found excess without putting in tons of effort. When Bill’s co-workers Fitz and Mack see how quickly and well Brian organizes the stock room, Bill talks him into playing hockey in the breakroom with an application to become a supervisor. Judy starts to get concerned when Bill and Brian sit in front of the TV all day, and suddenly seems unconcerned about the PSAT. Judy tells Bill that he needs to convince Brian to take the test. Brian tells Bill that if that’s the case, he needs to be trying to become a supervisor. Judy is irritated that Bill never tries to take the test, and wants him to take it in order to be a good example to Brian. Lauren keeps going on double dates with Jordan and his father, and even when Linda and Kevin break up, Lauren goes on another date with Jordan with Kevin and his new girlfriend. Bill starts studying the work handbook, but he and Judy get distracted by two basketball games and then having sex. Brian is impressed that Bill is going through with the test and tries to help him study. Bill keeps telling Brian that he is their only chance of having a successful child – always in earshot of Lauren and Tina – and only wants him to take breaks so he won’t burn out. Brian is inspired by his father and wishes him luck on his management test. Judy makes Bill give up his crib sheets for the test. Marcia Anne Burrs is the customer who can’t find any help on the sales floor. 4/3/22
• 041. Still the Man – 4/19/2004
  • When Lauren’s boyfriend Robbie (Evan Paley) seems to be losing interest in her when she keeps beating him in basketball, she questions whether she should throw the games in his favor, to which Judy tells her absolutely not, that she should always be her best self. Bill isn’t so sure if that’s the best advice, as he feels rather emasculated by the fact that Judy does all of the man’s work around the house, like changing the oil in his car. When Tina needs a spider killed in her room, Bill jumps at the chance to show his manhood by taking care of it. However, he is not only unsuccessful in killing the spider, but he manages to fall through and destroy Tina’s doll house that she was planning to take to show-and-tell at school. Bill decides that he will repair the dollhouse himself, despite the fact that Judy has no confidence he will do so. He manages to enlists Brian to help him with it, and after starting a small fire, he almost has it complete. However when the staple gun sends it shooting to the driveway, it falls to pieces again. He and Brian head to Tiny Town toy store to buy a replacement dollhouse. The worker Simon (Patrick Bristow) shows them various models, but they wind up finding one that looks exactly like the old one. However, he notices that it’s been sold… to Judy. Annoyed at her lack of confidence, he heads home more determined to fix the old one. Meanwhile, Robbie is getting more annoyed at Lauren when she keeps beating him. Bill steps in and advises her to back off, confessing that as a man, he knows how Robbie thinks and needs to feel in charge. Things start to turn around for Lauren, but Judy is annoyed with the advice that Bill gave her. Bill then calls her out for buying the doll house at Tiny Town, and Judy questions why Bill was there in the first place. Bill tells her that he feels belittled by her around the kids, so she agrees to keep her contempt of his laziness to herself. When Bill sees how easy Lauren is going on Robbie at basketball, he admits that maybe his advice wasn’t the best either. Bill finally gets the dollhouse completed, but while Judy is packing it up in the car, she falls on it and destroys it. Tina decides to take her tea set to show-and-tell. 8/3/22
• 042. Still Hangin’ Out – 5/5/2004
  • Lauren is hanging out with a new guy named Matt Halverson (now played by Shawn Pyfrom), but Bill and Judy insist on embarrassing her around him, so she decides to hang out over at his place. When Judy goes over to pick him up there, she meets his father Ted and mother Kathy, who have set up their rumpus room as a ‘Teen Scene’ where all of the kids are hanging out. They afford the kids’ privacy and give them all warning when they are coming downstairs by ringing a warning bell. Judy thinks it is a great idea and wants that for their family, so she and Bill fix up the garage and add a game table, video game, and a ping-pong table. Lauren is skeptical at first, but then realizes that her mother actually has the best of intentions. Brian and his friend Neal (Timothy Bumatay) are excluded from being invited, even though the hangout is now at his own house. When Ted comes to pick up Matt, he is annoyed that the kids are now hanging out at their house. Before they know it, the only ones in their garage are Brian, Neal, and Linda, and the hangout house has moved back to Ted’s when he gets a Foosball table, bumper pool, juke box, cotton candy maker, and ice cream bar. Judy is furious, while Bill is occupied with the cotton candy maker and ice cream bar. They storm out when they realizes that the Halversons question their morals, and they buy a trampoline for their yard. This brings all of the kids back to their house, but Bill soon realizes that the biggest attraction is that the trampoline launches the kids up to the bedroom window where Judy often gets naked. Bill and Judy then go see Ted and Kathy and apologize to them and give Teen Scene back to them, admitting that their placement of the trampoline gave them all view of naked Judy. Ted seems the most interested in getting the details of how naked she was. Judy apologizes to Lauren for the situation, but can’t guarantee that it won’t happen again. She is however comforted when Judy tells her that the kids would have been just as happy peeping on her. Vinnie Pergola is Eric, the boy in line for the trampoline. 8/3/22
• 043. Still in Cahoots – 5/10/2004
  • When Judy overhears Brian and Lauren whispering about their plans on Saturday night, they start to become worried that they are keeping secrets and covering for each other. They also become suspicious when Judy finds a receipt from the Urban Lair in the laundry. When the kids won’t tell them what they are planning for Saturday, the decide to do some snooping. After Bill hears them whispering in Brian’s room, they go on a snooping expedition after the kids leave. They find a stack of fake ID’s and a box full of money in Brian’s room. When the kids return home, Bill takes Lauren in the kitchen and tries to heat up the room with the oven and then question her. All he finds out is that Judy had gotten two speeding tickets she never told him about. Upstairs, Brian reminds his mother that he had written a front-page article on how easy it is to get fake ID’s, which is why he had so many of them. He also tells her that the money was his from his job. He had it hidden because his parents borrow his money and never pays it back… like recently when Bill borrowed money and took Tina to a bar. Bill and Judy confront each other on these indiscretions, but then realize the kids are turning them against each other. Judy finds out that the Urban Lair is a tattoo parlor, so Judy and Linda visit it together to see if the artist (Vince Neil) recognizes photos of Lauren or Brian. Linda realizes that she once slept with the artist at a party… and Judy gets a tattoo on her back. Back at home, Bill and Fitz snoop on Brian’s computer where they find that he has been on gambling sites. Bill ends up losing $300 on the site. Bill also intercepts an instant message from one of Brian’s friends who mentions meeting behind the school Bill gets in touch with Judy, and the two of them head to the school, where they fear the kids have broken in. They barge into the auditorium and set off an alarm, interrupting an awards ceremony, where Brian is getting an award for his article, and Lauren is getting one for her performing arts. As everyone is evacuated and the firefighters are called to the scene, Brian and Lauren admit that they were afraid that their parents would embarrass them, and that is why they didn’t tell them. They tell them that Miss Crawford is having a reception at her house, if they want to barge in and interfere with that too. They tell them they’ll skip it, and Judy extends their curfews for the night. Lauren has Brian drop her off at a party, while he heads off to use his fake ID at a nudie bar. Later, Brian makes a fake idea for Linda to lower her age and her weight. Kathleen M. Darcy is the teacher reading the announcements. 11/29/22
• 044. Still Champions – 5/17/2004
  • Ever since Bill has taught Tina to belch the words “Happy Birthday,” Tina has been getting a high amount of birthday party invitations to her classmates’ birthday parties. Bill and Judy are especially thrilled when she gets an invitation from Melanie Gault, whose father is Willie Gault (himself), who played on the 1985 Chicago Bears. Unfortunately, Tina also gets an invitation from her best friend Cammie Kelly on the same day. Tina naturally chooses to go to Cammie’s party, despite the fact that Bill and Judy try to push her to go to Melanie’s. Tina doesn’t even like Melanie, not even when Bill tells her that Melanie’s parents don’t love each other and are getting a divorce. Bill and Judy decide to go to the Gault party anyway, bringing along Tina’s jacket without Tina. Willie takes an instant liking to Bill and introduces him to fellow ’85 Bears Mike Tomczak (himself) and Tim Wrightman (himself). The entire time they are at the party, Melanie and her mother Karen (Nicole Randall Johnson) keep looking for Tina, until Judy finally decides they should get out of there before they get caught. Judy pulls Bill away from checking out of. They dress up one of Melanie’s giant dolls and pretend that it is a sleeping Tina. When Bill gets home, he realizes that he is still wearing Willie’s Super Bowl ring. Judy calls Willie immediately, but Willie tells him that they are leaving for Florida and to just hold on to it until he gets back. Later, Bill and Judy visit a steakhouse that Tim Wrightman gave him a gift certificate for. The hostess (Kit Pongetti) seats some other folks before them, but when she sees Bill wearing the Super Bowl ring, she seats him immediately and has the bartender open some champagne for them on the house. From then on, Bill and Judy alternate carrying the ring, claiming that Bill was a third string Bear in the Super Bowl so they can get special treatment wherever they go. Willie comes home early and calls Bill to get his ring back, but Bill suddenly realizes that one of the diamonds is missing. They take it to a jeweler named Irv (Tim Kazurinsky) and tells him that he was one of the Bears. Irv happens to be a Bears superfan and knows every single player who was on the team and threatens to call the police. Bill admits that he wasn’t a Bear but just liked the attention. Irv makes them feel bad for lying about something so sacred. Bill and Judy confess everything about the way they used the ring to Willie and Karen. They are impressed that Bill and Judy are so honest, but when Tina spills the beans about Bill telling her that the Gaults are getting a divorce, and that Tina never was actually at the party, Willie asks them to leave… especially since Willie and Karen really are getting a divorce. Back home, Bill has a dream that he and Judy were in Italy, met the Pope, and accidentally came home with his ring as well. Todd Merrill is the businessman who Bill impresses with the ring. 11/29/22
• 045. Still Seceding – 5/24/2004
  • Lauren sings a lovely rendition of Summertime while doing dishes, but her parents tell her to knock it off while they are watching Star Search. Meanwhile, Brian announces he’s been placed in an accelerated math program at Northwestern University, which is also met with apathy. Linda finds out that Tina is a Blue Bell girl, and since Judy has no interest in it, Linda offers to coach her through earning more badges. On the first day that Brian attends college, he doesn’t come home until late at night because he was practicing with a college band. Judy tries to ground him, but Brian insists that he is supposed to play a gig with them on Friday night. Bill tries to smooth things over, but Brian tells him that he doesn’t need them anymore because he knows what he is doing. Bill winds up telling him that he can live in the garage and live by his own rules. Brian jumps at the chance and decorates the garage into a very functional and comfortable living space. After several days, Judy decides to tell Brian that they are giving Lauren his room in order to entice him to want to move back in. However, Brian tells them that he thinks that this is a good idea. Once Lauren gets into Brian’s room, her incredibly loud snoring keeps them up. In addition, after Tina climbs into their bed covered in ants after Linda works on an ant farm with her. When Lauren tells her parents that Brian is playing with his band at The Pit, they decide to go down and see what he is up to. Although they think it is a seedy establishment, it turns out he is paying in a Dixieland jazz band… which they somehow find as worse. That night, Brian comes home depressed because the band got stiffed and he got thrown out because they want to grow handlebar mustaches and he can’t. Brian tells Bill he’s like to move back in because he’s rather be in with his parents. Brian gives Bill a handshake, a hug, and tells him he loves him. Bill than yuks it up with Judy and tells him that the real world kicked him in the ass and he came crawling back to him. Lauren has a dream she’s singing Summertime in a jazz club, only to be awakened by her mother and told she is snoring again. Zane Carney and Brian Mellblom are sideline musicians. 5/12/23

SEASON 3

• 046. Still Scamming – 9/20/2004
  • Bill and Judy take Brian on a college tour, but they wind up just drinking in one of the college bars. He asks his parents if he can go on the next tour at Ball State with his friend Hakim. Meanwhile, Lauren has a rash on her rear end and she asks her mother if she can switch from a pediatrician to a regular doctor. They agree, and go to see Dr. McCleary (Jordan Baker), who tells them that Lauren’s rash might be a symptom of anxiety and depression. Linda points out that Laruen is drawing in her art sketch book figures without hands, which could symbolize that she feels stifled. Everyone is overly nice to Lauren when she comes in, and Brian tells her that he overhead them talking about her being depressed. He thinks they can utilize their stupidity to work to their advantage. The next morning he brings Lauren’s breakfast to her and tells their parents that she is struggling to get out of bed. When they call Lauren down, she acts as if she sees no reason to get dressed because all of the other girls are prettier than her. She punctuates this by showing them pictures of girls in a clothes catalog. Bill suggests that they take her shopping the next day, and they also tell Brian that they’ll have to skip touring Ball State with him and he can go with his friend. Lauren also pretends to take a phone call from her friend Becca and act as if she doesn’t want to hang with her that night. Bill and Judy encourage her to go and even extend her curfew. When Linda and Tina return from the zoo, Tina spills the beans that Lauren is having an unsupervised co-ed swimming party that night. Bill and Judy realize they’ve been duped and they show up Becca’s house. Judy announces that Lauren needs to apply her butt cream, while Bill cannonballs into the pool and loses his shorts in the process. When they return home, they lay into Lauren, and she accidentally lets it slip that she really is very unhappy with her life. Bill thinks he can coach her out of her funk, but quickly realizes that she not only needs some professional therapy, but that she is open to it and desires it. Asa Bernstine is Lauren’s friend Darren. 5/14/23
• 047. Still Neighbors – 9/27/2004
  • The Millers’ neighbor Ed Bailey (Rodney Dangerfield) stops by to tell Bill that he and his wife are moving to Hawaii. New neighbors move in, and Bill thinks that if they play their cards right, they might be able to convince them to build a deck in their backyard, which the Baileys never would. Bill rushes over to meet them and they end up being a lesbian couple Terry (Justine Bateman) and Shelly (Julia Campbell) with a son named Chris (Sean Marquette). Bill and Judy struggle with what to say to them, and ultimately come up with the wrong things. Chris is in Advanced Placement classes with Brian. They become friends, but Brian is more interested in Lauren. Bill and Judy invite them over for a barbecue to butter them up, and they do agree to let them build the deck. Jusy immediately goes to work on assembling it. Linda advises them that they should get the ladies to sign an actual waiver so that they can’t change their mind. Chris asks Lauren to go to the movies, but she tries to get her parents to tell her that she can’t leave so she doesn’t have to go out with him. They refuse to do it because they want to stay on their good side. However, when Chris’s grades start to slip now that he is with Lauren, who actually starts to like him, the ladies put signing the waiver on the back burner. Bill and Judy try to get the kids to break up, but they start to feel guilty when they realize that they really like each other. They tell the ladies that they have reconsiders and want the kids to be free to date if they want. Chris’s mothers ultimately agree and get ready to sign the waiver, until Chris comes home and tells his mothers that he sold his cello in order to buy turntables and become a party DJ. As Judy tears apart the deck that she’s built, Bill dreams about the lesbians having fun in their plant holder and inviting Bill to join them. 9/19/23
• 048. Still Looking for Love – 10/4/2004
  • Bill and Judy make bets about how long Linda’s new relationship with a guy named Perry (James Patrick Stuart), a singer in a Foghat cover band who fakes a British accent and also works as a paperboy, will last. It quickly becomes clear that Perry is nothing more than a weekend stand. Later, Linda announces that her cat Nathaniel Pawthorne died in a freak accident when they try on their Halloween costumes – Linda as a cat, and Nathaniel as a mouse – and Nathaniel charges himself in the mirror and breaks his neck. Linda asks Bill and Judy if she can bury the cat in their backyard. During the ceremony, Bill and Judy can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the cat’s death, but when Linda overhears them talking and laughing, she gets her feelings hurt and leaves. They go to apologize to her at her apartment, where they find that she’s heading up a pet bereavement support group. Bill brings along a ham, even though one of the ladies (Joanna Sanchez) has just lost his pig. Judy apologizes to Linda but advises her to try and find a more fulfilling relationship rather than throwing all of her heart toward a cat. Linda takes this to heart, so she gets back in touch with Perry, who now has lost his accent and is into bracelets. Linda invites Bill and Judy over for dinner with her and Perry, who has quickly moved into her apartment. After a short period of time, Judy and Bill start to notice that Linda is treating Perry like a cat, petting him, letting him nap all day, knitting him a sweater just like she made for her old cat, and letting him be finicky about his food. Bill finds it funny, while Judy tries to put a stop to it. Judy tells her that she is treating him like a cat, and after he comes running when he hears her use the can opener, Linda finally agrees. Linda tells Perry that they need to break up, but when Perry asks her to marry him, she quickly accepts. Bill applauds like it is dinner theater. Perry re-adopts his accent and writes Linda a song about her old cat called Goodbye Nathaniel. Suzanne Whang is the restaurant patron in whose hair Perry gets his bracelet stuck. Gabriel Gutierrez is the man in the pet support group. 9/19/23
• 049. Still Winning – 10/11/2004
  • When Bill gets into Brian’s stash of money to pay for the pizza guy (Dave Matos), they find that he has spent $200 since their last visit to the money box. When they confront him about what he is buying, he tells them that he has been purchasing game cards for the strategy game Wizards: The Beckoning. Bill and Judy find the idea laughable, but when they realize that he’s taken his $200 and won game cards that are now worth roughly $1000, they insist that he sell them so that he can see the profit before they lose their value. Meanwhile, Linda has been spending so much time with her fiancé Perry as they pick out wedding invitations that she is either ignoring Judy when they are together or canceling plans altogether. Judy notices the void and tries to make friends with a lady named Emmy (Amy Farrington) when she is at the park with Tina, but the lady is skeptical of her and runs away. When Fitz stops by to see Bill while he is out with Brian, Judy suggests that he go to the outlet mall with her since she has no one to go with. Bill accompanies Brian to one of the gaming events, where Brian is knowns as “Miller the Merciless,” and can’t believe the trash talk that comes from some of the geeks. When Brian soundly defeats Samm aka Lord Hades (Marty Belafsky), Bill cheers him on and then starts challenging others. In the end, Bill not only doesn’t force Brian to sell his cards, but he signs him up to participate in the high-level Golden Goblin event. Fitz has fun hanging out with Judy and is titillated by the fact that Bill or others could think they are having an affair, which Judy only laughs at. Bill agrees to dress in costume to attend the Golden Goblin with Brian. With Fitz having cut his pants on chicken wire trying to sneak into a flea market with Judy, Bill finds himself staring face to face with Fitz while he is a wearing a skirt outfit and Fitz has on no pants. Both simply choose to ignore this. Linda asks to join Judy and Fitz at the movies, but she is forced to see a separate film when the one Judy and Fitz sees sells out. Fitz tells Linda that she is getting what she deserves for being such a bad sister. Judy criticizes Fitz for insulting her sister, and Fitz tries to maintain that he’s a better sister… before he finally realizes he needs to go do something manly. Brian does well in the gaming event, but he gets tired of his father trash talking all of the other contestants and decides he wants to go home. Bill tells Brian that he only got so excited because he was proud of him. Bill finally realizes that when his father yelled at him during football games, he did it because he cared for and loved Bill. He tries to call him and thank him, but his father is too busy watching a football game. Linda apologizes to Judy, but Judy recognizes that she has to share her with her fiancé and is happy that she finally found someone. Jason Earles is Gilbert aka Goran the Invincible. Teo Olivares is the Owl Keeper. Jack Salvatore Jr. is the Oracle.  1/18/24
• 050. Still Auctioning – 10/18/2004
  • When Bill and Judy have their afternoon ‘alone time’ interrupted by Tina because he after-school enrichment program has been cancelled, they realize that the PTA president Kathy Halverson has arranged a parental meeting to try and address the funding for the program. The Halversons are quite surprised when Bill and Judy attend the meeting, where they come up with the idea to hold a silent auction to fund the program. When Ted agrees to donate a week of his condo time share, Bill then pledges that he and Judy will be making a large donation to the auction as well. Judy tries to do damage control and get out of it, but when Kathy implies that they are not expected to give anything and that they can help by being on the cleanup committee, she too vows a giant item for the auction. The item that they come up with is a ‘Night of Beef and Teeth’, during which they will serve a rack of ribs to the winner followed by a teeth cleaning from Judy. The Halversons are passive-aggressive about making fun of their donation, which Bill is forced to bid on himself under the name ‘Mill Biller’. However, they decide to change the prize mid-stream and tell everyone that the top ten bidders will receive an afternoon of Cookies and Crafts for the kids, during which parents can drop off their kids for the afternoon. Ted and Kathy then reluctantly congratulate Bill and Judy on a great idea and for raising the most money, then also tell them if they want to double the number of kids to twenty, they will help them. However, when the afternoon rolls around, the Haversons cancel out due to Ted’s sick aunt. As they struggle through the afternoon, accidentally baking craft beads into the cookies, Bill notices that the Halversons are at home and driveway full of cars and caterers. They assume that the Halversons are having a party while laughing at the Millers. They pull the kids from their crafts to go next door to toilet paper and egg the Halversons’ house. It turns out that the Haversons are hosting the funeral for their aunt, and when they catch the kids and the Millers in the act, Bill and Judy are more than apologetic. They admit that whenever they are with the Halversons, they feel like they are in an immature high school competition between the over-achievers and the slackers. When the cops come, the Millers and the kids all scatter. Bill and Judy later try to deliver a bag full of brownies to the Halversons as a peace offering, but they accidentally light it on fire, making Ted think that it is a bag of dog poop when he tries to stomp it out. Mary Hart appears as Mary, a woman at the auction. Edward James Cage is the parent, Don. Charlie Hartsock is the man at the auction. Kids at the party: Jordan Orr is Nicky. Emerica Elan Rogers is Molly. Dabir Snell aka Debier is Scott. 1/19/24
• 051. Still Cooking – 10/25/2004
  • Not long after Judy berates the entire family for leaving a dirty roasting pan on the table for a week, Bill reveals to his friend Fitz that he learned how to do some cooking but doesn’t want the family to know as they will force him to work over a stove. When Brian comes home early and catches him eating some Pasta Puttanesca, he tells Judy, and she demands that he cook dinner that night. However, he prepares Chicken Cacciatore, no one seems to like it. Bill feels bad, and Judy decides he should go back to leaving the cooking to her. She then realizes that he might have conned her, and her suspicions are confirmed when she finds him in the bathroom eating a ‘good batch’ of the dish. Bill then gives cooking his all and starts making delicious meals. However, when he starts to get too into it, and begins daintily preparing the food, Judy loses her sexual attraction to him because he now seems to be too feminine. When Bill rushes off to the produce market, Judy admits to Linda that his food is great, and she enjoys the extra time but is no longer attracted to Bill. She goes to a cooking store in the mall and has the clerk (Tim Maculan) try to help her find a more manly apron for Bill. She puts him in the new blue jeans apron, but it doesn’t make much difference. She gives him beer so he will look more manly, but when he starts critiquing her cooking skills, she asks why he has turned into a woman. However, when he gets angry and starts smashing garlic cloves, she is suddenly turned on again. Judy returns to cooking, and Bill returns to his life of leisure. As she says it to Linda, she suddenly realizes that she may have been conned yet again. 5/23/24
• 052. Still Going First – 11/8/2004
  • Bill has been having side pains, and when he reaches up to get the food processor off a shelf and feels a tremendous pain, Judy takes him to the doctor while she is having a checkup. Dr. Holden (Phil Morris) tells him that it is just a pulled muscle and that he needs to take it easy for a few days. However, the doctor tells Judy that she has extra high cholesterol and that she needs to be on a very restricted diet. Meanwhile, Linda worries that her fiancé Perry hasn’t spent much time around kids, so she requests that they spend some time with Tina. Fitz reminds Judy that if she dies before Bill, he will be helpless without her. In response, she writes Bill a letter that will explain everything he would need to know, plus a reminiscence of their life together. She hints to Bill that she would like it if he wrote her a similar letter. The entire time that Linda and Perry have Tina, she pretends that she is a frog. It annoys Linda, but Perry actually finds it charming. Bill completes his letter in just a matter of minutes, but Judy is extremely disappointed that the only thing he says in his letter is that the snow shovel is stored behind the garage. When Perry stops by the house, Perry tells Bill how he writes his song lyrics in a notebook and then reads some of his work for Bill, who promptly takes it and plagiarizes it into the letter to Judy. She loves the letter, but Brian spills the beans and tells his mother that his father stole Perry’s work. Linda decides that Perry loves her so much that she can’t share him with children. Judy confronts Bill about stealing the vows from Perry, and also about how he never read her letter. After she storms out and returns from the movies, Bill gives her a stool that he made for her so that she can reach the food processor. He also mentions that the saw he used was exactly where she said it was in her letter. He admits that he doesn’t even want to think about a life without her, because what they have is everything, and it will all cease to be if one of them is no longer there. Later, while watching TV, Bill and Judy see that the vows that Bill had stolen from Perry were actually stolen by Perry from a commercial about erectile dysfunction. 5/27/24
• 053. Still Cruising – 11/15/2004
  • When the clown cancels for Tina’s birthday party, Brian volunteers to accept the $100 payment to entertain as the magician ‘Miller the Magnificent.’ Lauren wants a piece of the action too, but Brian insists he is a solo act. Meanwhile, Bill’s mother calls while her boyfriend Johnny is out of town and keeps wanting Bill to spend time with her. He tells Judy that she’s a ‘bloodsucker’ and if he gives her an inch, she tries to take a mile. Judy thinks she can be firm with her, so she goes along with Bill and his mother to lunch. She tells Louise that Bill is busy and can’t go with her to Wisconsin to buy cheese that week, but invites her to come to Tina’s party, making it clear that they only want her there for the exact duration. When Bill goes to his mother’s car to grab her lipstick, Judy tells her that she wants to be close to her since she is family. Louise tells her that she and Johnny bought tickets for a Carribean cruise, but since he is out of town, she offers for Judy to go. However, she doesn’t make it clear that she is only inviting Judy to go. She thinks she can get out of it, while Bill thinks she is dreaming. Brian works on his magic act, which truly disappoints, while Lauren goes to the store and buys a CD and some makeup and offers to entertain the girls at the party if she gets the money. Tina takes her up on her offer and then starts to use all of Lauren’s makeup. Louise comes over to show off her new cruise swimsuit, and Judy tries to tell her that she doesn’t want to go without Bill. Judy says that although she wants to have a relationship, she was thinking more along the lines of having lunch. Louise then invites her to go to lunch with her with her social club called the Red Hat Society. Judy winds up staying with the group all day long and then gets volunteered to host the next outing. When Judy can’t get her to understand that she doesn’t want to go, she calls Louise a ‘bloodsucker,’ causing her to run out of the house crying. Brian tries to regain the reigns of the party by dressing as a robot called the Funk Machine. Tina then chooses to have Brian entertain at the party. When Judy leaves it up to Tina, she decides to take the $100 herself. When Louise sends a card and refuses to come to Tina’s party, Judy decides to make things right and goes to visit her. Judy apologizes about calling her a bloodsucker and asks her to come to Tina’s party. Louise agrees, but Judy doesn’t think her acceptance of the apology is sincere. Louise thinks it’s been a rollercoaster, but Judy says she wants to get along and really cares about her. Judy then assumes that she is going on the cruise and reveals that Johnny has actually broken up with her. She says that no one seems to want her love. Sure enough, Judy agrees to go on the cruise, and as they are leaving, Judy finds out that the cruise is alcohol-free… and that it is a gathering of the Red Hat Society. Lucy Lee Flippin is Red Hat member Betty. 10/11/24
• 054. Still Shallow – 11/22/2004
  • Bill and Judy are surprised when they find out that Brian is dating a girl named Brenda (Courtney Chase), but Brian tells his parents that he actually likes Brenda’s friend Kaitlin (Lauren Storm) better. He says he doesn’t want to hurt Brenda’s feelings, but Judy tells him to dump her and go for the girl he likes. However, when Judy sees how attractive Katilin is and how homely Brenda is, she decides that Brenda is more Brian’s speed and tries to talk him into staying with her. She says that Branda reminds her of a wallflower from her high school named Dina Murphy, who Bill used to date. Bill then privately tells Brian that he has purposely dated the homely Dina so that her hot, slutty friend would think that he has a heart of gold and would eventually go for him herself. Bill ended up getting the slutty girl, who turned out to be Judy. Bill refers to this a ‘pulling a Murphy.’ Brian doesn’t think it is appropriate to play this game with Brenda but is surprised when Kaitlin does in fact seem to show feelings for Brian because of how kind he is to Brenda. The icing on the cake is when Katilin tells Brian that Brenda is going to be moving away to go to a private school in Deerfield. Meanwhile, Linda comes to stay with Millers when the floors in her apartment are getting cleaned. When she suggests that and the girls have fun with a Ouija Board, Linda screams and scares Tina and then tells her that it is fun to scare each other. From that moment on, Tina takes every chance she can get to jump out and scare Linda until she can no longer stand it and pleads for her to stop. Bill is impressed that Brian is not only pulling the Murphy but has also found the additional ‘escape hatch’ with the Murphy. However, things get ruined when Brenda comes over and tells Brian that she’s not moving after all. Bill then enlists his friend Fitz to help him recall how he ended up breaking up with Dina. He recalls that he told Dina that his parents were getting a divorce, and he needed time to himself, which his parents actually thought was a good idea and got the divorce. When Judy finds out about the whole plan, as well as Bill’s days with Dina, she gets furious and forces Brian to go be honest with Brenda. However, when Judy sees how hurt Brenda is going to be, she jumps in and tells her that she and Bill are getting a divorce. Linda then reminds Judy that she also used Dina because she was hot for her brother Jake. Brian decides to be honest with Brenda, but Brenda winds up breaking up with Brian because he’s weird and a bad kisser and has been seeing a guy from the swim team who thought she was sensitive for dating Brian. Fitz notes that Brenda ‘pulled a Miller.’ Linda finally decides to leave, and as she is dragging her suitcase out with her, Bill tells Judy that he helped zip Tina into it. 10/12/24

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 17th, 2000 at 11:10 am and is filed under Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.