The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – ABC

Theme song: “Making Our Dreams Come True” performed by Cyndi Grecco, composed by Charles Fox, lyrics by Norman Gimbel

NOTE: This series is a spin-off of the series “Happy Days”

• 001. The Society Party – 1/27/1976
  • In late 1950’s Milwaukee, Wisconsin, friends and roommates Laverne DeFazio (Penny Marshall) and Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams) work at the Shotz Brewery. Ted Schotz (Lyman Ward), the nephew of the company’s owner Max, invites Laverne and Shirley to a society party so that he can prove to his Nana (Mary Treen) that he can relate to his workers. Laverne is skeptical but Shirley subscribes to the optimism of the Sinatra song High Hopes. They visit there friends and upstairs neighbors Leonard “Lenny” Cosnowski (Michael McKean) and Andrew “Squiqqy” Squiggman (David Lander) to see if they can ask around about getting them some cheap dresses to wear. Lenny and Squiqqy come through and bring dresses they say they borrowed from Squiggy’s uncle’s wax museum. They – and Laverne’s date Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli (Henry Winkler) – are like fish out of water at the society dinner, and matters are made even worse when one haughty couple Mr. and Mrs. Marshall and Vivien Stewart (Richard Stahl, Kathryn Ish aka Mrs. Richard Stahl) recognizes their dresses as being ones that were stolen from their daughters. Fonzie calms them down until they allow Laverne and Shirley to continue wearing their dresses until the party is over, but when the Stewarts continue to insult them, they strip to their slips and return the dresses right there. Later that night Laverne criticizes Shirley for having such ‘high hopes’, and Shirley criticizes Laverne for never letting her dream. They reach a happy medium and sing High Hopes together. Robert Ball is the butler. Bob Brunner is the foreman. 11/17/15

• 002. The Bachelor Party – 2/3/1976
  • With Laverne’s father Frank (Phil Foster) out of town for a funeral, Laverne is put in charge of the Pizza Bowl, the combination bowling alley and pizza restaurant that Frank runs. Fonzie asks Laverne if he can use the place after hours for a bachelor party for his friend Milo Ferguson (Paul Linke). Shirley thinks it’s a horrible idea, but Laverne can’t resist the $50 he offers. When the two employees at the alley refuse to work overtime, Laverne guilt trips Shirley into helping her. Things go awry when they run out of pizza, and even worse when Fonzie finds out that the girl he hired to jump out of the cake can’t make it. Wanting to avoid a riot, Laverne agrees to jump out of the cake… but the outfit will only fit Shirley. Although mortified, she agrees to do it, but before she can make a full exit, she is stopped by her sometimes-boyfriend, boxer Carmine “The Big Ragoo” Ragusa (Eddie Mekka). Laverne tells Shirley how much she appreciates her friendship, and Laverne’s father is proud of her for the extra money she generated. Harry Shearer provides the voice of the announcer at the brewery. 11/17/15
• 003. Bowling for Razzberries – 2/10/1976
  • Laverne is hellbent on getting revenge on Shotz tour guide Karen Clopton (Ruth Silveira) for constantly belittling her. Shirley suggest that her revenge be beating her team in the company bowling tournament. Unfortunately Laverne comes down with a bad cold, and Shirley forces her to see Dr. Harold Shakowsky (Randy Powell) who concurs that she should stay home and take medicine. Shirley head off for the tournament and hides Laverne’s clothes so that she can’t leave, but Laverne is able to get some clothes from the Milwaukee Mercy Mission Lady (Peggy Doyle) and shows up to the tournament anyway. Even though she is so doped up she can barely move, her Hot Shotz team is able to claim victory over Karen’s Big Shotz team. Laverne is so loopy she can’t even muster a razzberry for Karen, and Shirley refuses to give it. Later Laverne refuses to take her medicine until Shirley calls Karen and delivers the razzberry via phone. 12/15/15
• 004. A Nun’s Story – 2/24/1976
  • Laverne is skeptical about Shirley throwing the fourth high school reunion in three years for their Fillmore Class of ’56, and vows not to attend this year. However when she finds out that their old friend Anne Marie “Nutsy” Polanski (Rochelle Richelieu) is going to attend from Chicago, Laverne changes her mind. Shirley recalls the time via flashback that the three girls stymied the efforts of Lenny, Squiqqy, and Hector (Greg Antonacci) from peeping on their party, by inviting Hector in, telling him to undress in the closet in order to get some action, and then snapping his picture when he came out in his heart patterned boxer shorts. However the girls’ hope to re-live their old wild days are quickly ended when Anne Marie shows up and reveals that she is now a nun. The party is very awkward with much of the class leaving to go see a movie, but it is made worse when Hector appears in the same boxer shorts. Shirley is mortified by the reunion and especially that she hasn’t accomplished anything in three years. Anne Marie quickly douses her fears, stating that the boxers were funny, that not everyone is called to be a nun, and mostly that it is most important to do what make one happy. 12/16/15
• 005. Falter at the Altar – 3/2/1976
  • Although they’ve only been dating for two months, Laverne’s boyfriend Sal Malina (Paul Sylvan) asks her to marry him, and Laverne agrees. Shirley is skeptical about rushing into the wedding, and Laverne doesn’t seem too thrilled with Sal, but is afraid nothing better will come along. Father Delvecchio (Al Molinaro) hosts a wedding rehearsal with Squiggy acting as the father of the bride. Shirley makes her feelings clear at the rehearsal and Laverne pushes her to tell her what her problem is, but can’t look Shirley in the eye and tell her that she loves Sal. Eventually Shirley is able to convince Laverne to put off the wedding, but continue to date Sal, although he is heading to San Diego after his Navy discharge. Laverne breaks the news to her father, who is anxious for a grandson. The gang does The Stroll at the pizza bowl. 2/19/16
• 006. Dog Day Blind Dates – 3/9/1976
  • Shirley is suspicious of and doesn’t like Laverne’s new wealthy boyfriend Charles (Fred Willard), but agrees to accompany them on a double date with Charles’s cowboy cousin Buck Wilson (Guich Koock) from out of town. Shirley takes a liking to Buck and his backwards ways of carrying his suitcase with him so it doesn’t get stolen, and wanting to go bowling but is too shy to bowl around others. Laverne gets her father to close the Pizza Bowl so they can bowl in privacy. Lenny and Squiggy are in the middle of a Driving Test game, so Charles allows them to stay… shortly before Buck goes into the bathroom and uses the explosives in his suitcase to blow a hole into the bathroom wall in order to rob the bank next door. Charles and Buck end up getting locked in, so have to use the others as hostages. Laverne regrets never being with a man before and suggests Lenny and Squiggy, but Shirley talks her out of it. Laverne offers to be Charles’s moll, and then hits and disarms him. The police arrive and arrest Charles and Buck. Laverne vows to start doing with what she wants in life… starting with getting a facial. Bo Kaprall is a cop Norman Hughes. 2/19/16
• 007. Once Upon a Rumor – 3/16/1976
  • Lenny walks in and sees Squiggy helping repair Shirley’s skirt and jumps to the conclusion that they’ve gone all the way. Squiqqy denies it at first, and then sees how it can advance his reputation. When Shirley starts getting tons of calls for dates, she thinks it is because her morning hygiene routine. Laverne becomes especially jealous when upstairs neighbor writer Jerry Callahan (Charles Frank) asks Laverne about hot to get a date with Shirley. Laverne forces Jerry to reveal that Shirley is now known as a ‘fun girl’. When Shirley gets winds of this, she tries to convince Squiqqy to tell the truth, even sending in Carmine to beat him up. He won’t budge, and Shirley stops Carmine before he breaks Squiqqy’s arm. This inspires Squiggy to do the right thing and announce over the loudspeaker that he and Shirley never did anything. 5/16/16
• 008. One Flew Over Milwaukee – 3/23/1976
  • Shirley rescues a canary named Duane from a miner, and tries to nurture it back to health claiming that he has bronchitis. When Duane flies away and no one can find him, Shirley becomes inconsolable and refuses to attend a party that Squiqqy is throwing at the Pizza Bowl for Lenny, who is going into the Army Reserves. Laverne decides to move the party to their apartment to get Shirley out of their funk. Shirley agrees and tries to enjoy the party, but when the window blows open, she takes it as a sign that Duane is going to be coming back. She clears the apartment of guests and sits under the freezing window. Just after Carmine finally convinces her to give up, the bird returns. However Laverne confesses to Carmine that she had purchased a lookalike bird, and later Shirley confesses that she knew it wasn’t Duane, but realized that she had gone overboard. Later Frank comes over after visiting Mrs. Liederhouse upstairs, and delivers Duane, who had actually flown into her apartment. Doris Hess is Dolores. 5/16/16
• 009. Dating Slump – 3/30/1976
  • When Carmine returns from a boxing match in New York with his new girlfriend Rhonda (Sande Lou Sanders), Shirley becomes jealous even though she’s not really in love with Carmine. She also becomes so bored that she starts taking apart the phone and the sink to see how they work. Laverne puts an add on the newspaper that they are selling a jeep, just to get me to come visit, including a guy named Victor (Mark Harmon), and Lenny and Squiqqy, who put forth an offer on the nonexistent jeep. Laverne also arranges a blind date with her boyfriend Tom’s (Robert Hays) friend Moose (Michael McManus). The date ends when Moose starts a fight with a guy named Butch (Marty Nadler) and his giant friend Ivan. Laverne and Shirley are forced to fight their giant girlfriend (Carole Ita White) and her friend. Even with the fight and the crummy date, Shirley admits that spending time with Laverne was the best time she’s had in weeks. Carmine stops by and tells the girls he’ll still always be there for him. Lenny and Squiqqy make a final bid for the jeep, which Laverne accepts. 8/18/16
• 010. It’s the Water – 4/6/1976
  • Laverne and Shirley apply to become beer tasters at Shotz, but when Shirley gets sick after only a couple of drinks, Laverne thinks she is a shoe-in to get the job. They are both surprised when executive Wolfgang Gessler (Greg Lewis) selects Shirley for the job. Laverne has trouble getting over her jealousy, especially when Shirley starts eating in the executive lunchroom. Her long hours also preclude her from spending much time with Laverne, and working late causes them to have to forfeit a bowling tournament. Laverne finally overcomes her jealousy, then learns from Lenny and Squiggy that Gessler plans to have Shirley work late and then seduce her. Laverne comes to her rescue from the unremorseful Gessler, who had tried to force himself on her. Carmine however escorts Gessler out of the building in order to beat him up. Laverne cautions Shirley about her gullibility. 8/19/16 
• 011. Fakeout at the Stakeout – 4/13/1976
  • Laverne and Shirley come home and find that they were robbed of several of their outfits. Frank wants them to move out, and Lenny and Squiggy act as detectives to try to find the culprit, but focus all of their attention on investigating dogs. The police officer Norman Hughes informs them that it sound like the work of the Milwaukee Masher (Neil Thompson), who steals women’s clothes and disguises himself as a woman in order to snatch purses in the park. Laverne, who has a crush on Norman, offers to act as a decoy to catch the robber. Shirley thinks she is crazy for going to such lengths to attract a man, but joins her. Eventually Laverne chickens out and Norman and his partner Officer George Morris (John P. Hayes) heads home. Just then the Masher appears and attempts to rob them, but Laverne jumps on his back, and the officers return and arrest him. Norman asks out Laverne who declines his invitation to a police event… but accepts when he offers to take her to the circus. The girls put in a burglar alarm which scares off Lenny and Squiggy so they agree it was a wise investment. 11/2/16
• 012. Hi, Neighbor – 4/27/1976
  • When Squiggy laments about still living with his mother who is driving him crazy, the girls suggest that he and Lenny look for an apartment together. Sure enough their first apartment they look at is the one directly above Laverne and Shirley’s. When the landlady Mrs. Havenwurst (Helen Page Crump) puts Shirley on the spot for a recommendation in front of the guys, she has no choice but to go along. Lenny and Squiggy get into a fight even before they unbox all of their belongings when Lenny causes Squiggy’s fly collection to be sucked into a fan and in retaliation, Squiggy flushes Lenny’s favorite shirt down the toilet. Squiggy moves in with the girls and drives them crazy immediately. Laverne has a talk with Lenny and reminds him that Squiggy is his only friend, so he invites Squiggy to come back. 11/3/16
• 013. How Do You Say “Are You Dead” in German? – 5/4/1976
  • When a German laundry delivery man named Eric (Peter Elbling) from Jiffy Cleaners makes a drop at Laverne & Shirley’s apartment and then passes out from hunger, Laverne calls for an ambulance that accidentally picks up Squiggy. Laverne’s father sends over the German-speaking employee named Hilide (Brenda Verrett) to get Eric’s story. Wanting to help him, Shirley tries to take up a collection, but Laverne refuses to help, stating that they need to do something more. She ends up getting Eric a job at the Pizza Bowl, and Shirley expresses her admiration for Laverne being so conscientious for helping. The girls go and see the Harlem Globetrotters. 2/7/17
• 014. From Suds to Stardom – 5/11/1976
  • Carmine sings Because of You at the Pizza Bowl, leading Laverne & Shirley to ask him to help prepare them for the Shotz Brewery talent show the Shotz Showcase, for which they had been turned down previously several times by Gloria Lubitz (Leland Palmer). The perform horrible rendition of I Believe and Jamaica Farewell for Carmine, who tries to coach them into putting feeling into their music. At the audition Lenny & Squiggy perform as Lenny & The Squigtones an original song called Starcrossed (written by Michael McKean). When the girls perform, they are stopped by Gloria before they even finish their number. Shirley gets angry and returns to demand that Gloria put them in the show. Gloria quickly agrees, but the girls don’t realize that she wants to put them in the finale where their performance of Jamaica Farewell will be interrupted by a group of men coming out to dance in hula skirts. Shirley is humiliated, but Laverne points out that they made the audience laugh and that is all that is important, so they begin planning for the next year’s show. Carmine performs Rags to Riches with Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, and Squiqqy performing background. Ogden Talbot is Wilbur. Jerry Belson is Mr. Wardcraft the eye-slapping performer. Joyce Aimee is the accordion player. Garry Marshall appears as Carmine’s drummer. 2/9/17
• 015. Mother Knows Worst – 5/18/1976
  • Shirley gets a telegram that her mother Lily (Pat Carroll), who likes to be called Barb, is coming into town for a visit. Shirley thinks that her mother is overly critical of her, and arranges a night out for dinner and to see My Fair Lady, but Lily decides she wants to stay in and wants the girls to throw a party and invite over their friends. She is very unimpressed with their friends, especially Lenny and Squiggy, and Shirley’s lack of success. Finally Laverne can take no more of her badgering Shirley, so she butts in and intervenes. Shirley confesses that she really doesn’t like her mother and feels that it is a reaction to her mother not liking her for who she is. Lily decides she’d rather they like each other so agrees to keep her mouth shut. As final justice, Lily gets to ride to the airport with Lenny and Squiggy. 5/23/17

SEASON 2

• 016. Drive! She Said – 9/28/1976
  • Shirley is interested in buying a $200 used car, but only has half the money so she tries to talk Laverne into going in half with her. Laverne refuses because she is afraid to drive. After Shirley exposes her secret, Laverne agrees to go in with Shirley promising to teach her how to drive… and if she can’t do it she promises to sell the car and give Laverne her money back. Shirley tries to teach her by simulating driving with a record, banana, and can goods, but when Laverne doesn’t take it seriously she takes her out on the road. The lesson proves disastrous and Laverne ends up running over a cop’s food, but luckily it is one of her former dates Norman Hughes. Shirley accepts defeat and tells Laverne she is going to sell the car. Laverne starts not speaking to Shirley and leaving every night, but one night she returns and shows her that she got herself a temporary license, having had her frazzled father teach her to drive. Laverne admits that the fear of her father getting upset was greater than her fear of driving. The girls are excited to keep the car, but when they go out to go for a drive, they find Lenny and Squiggy inside making out with a pair of girls. 5/30/17
• 017. Angels of Mercy – 10/5/1976
  • While Shirley volunteers at the hospital in hopes of landing a doctor, Laverne has her sights set on upstairs neighbor, writer Jerry Callahan (Charles Frank) by doing his laundry and other favors. When Shirley suggests to Jerry that he have an operation on his knees that’s been bothering him, Jerry agrees and asks Laverne to watch his fish. Shirley suggests that Laverne also volunteer at the hospital to help nurse Jerry back to health. She agrees, and despite Shirley mixing up the patients’ false teeth, and both of them barely able to strip the bed of patient Mr. McKinley (Jack Perkins) while he is in it, it is all for naught as when Jerry wakes up, he only asks Laverne about his fish. Shirley is having trouble of her own when a doctor she is hoping to date, tries to knock her out with ether and get in her dress. Shirley turns the ether on him and knocks him out, but her hopefulness of meeting a doctor won’t die…while Laverne takes a bleaker outlook about wasting their time at the hospital. Later after Laverne tells Jerry she’s going to stop doing his laundry, Jerry finally asks her out and kisses her. Shirley is happy for her, but secretly writes in her diary that Laverne is getting on her nerves. Chanin Hale is the nurse. 1/15/18
• 018. Bachelor Mothers – 10/19/1976
  • Laverne and Shirley are alone on a Saturday night with a broken TV when Fonzie stops by and convinces them with kisses to babysit his friend Louisa Corrigan’s (Udana Power) baby Danny Jr., so she can attend her husband’s banquet for winning a cross-country race. They struggle with keeping Danny quiet until Carmine stops by and sings him Brahm’s Lullaby and puts him to sleep. Laverne and Shirley’s friends Mel and Sam call from Chicago and ask them to come out with them to the Chez Paree, but they quickly realize they can’t leave since they have the baby. They play choosies to determine that Laverne gets to go to dinner, while Shirley has to stay home and babysit Danny. Laverne no sooner gets out the door in the pouring rain when Mel and Sam call to tell her they have to cancel because of the weather. Shirley asks Lenny and Squiggy to retrieve Laverne, but they think she is playing a joke, so they agree to stay and watch the baby while Shirley goes to get her. When Laverne and Shirley return home, the baby is gone and all Lenny and Squiggy know is that some man came by to get the baby. The girls go into panic mode, and when Louisa returns to the house, they are so rattled they almost tell her that they lost the baby… until Louisa tells them that all was well when her husband Danny came to get the baby. Shirley laments how irresponsible she was. They are stuck at home again… but Fonzie shows up and fixes the TV for them with one hit. NOTE: The Happy Days episode Fonzie the Father has a storyline that leads directly into this episode, broadcast on the same date. 1/15/18
• 019. Excuse Me, May I Cut In? – 10/26/1976
  • When their television breaks, Laverne & Shirley try to come up with a way to get a new one. Mr. DeFazio is no help, but Shirley finds out that there is a dance contest at the Victory Dance at Jefferson High School that Carmine is hosting, and the prize for the winner is a new TV for each winner. Shirley suggests that if Laverne can pair off with their best dancer Potsie Weber (Anson Williams), they would be a shoe-in. In order to get Potsie, Shirley calls over her old date Richie Cunningham (Ron Howard) and promises him some action of he can set Potsie up with Laverne. Everything goes well until Potsie’s jilted girlfriend Debra Lee (Stephanie Faracy) shows up and threatens to ruin the contest for them. Laverne takes Debra Lee outside and teaches her a lesson, but it only causes Debra Lee to come back in and kick Potsie in the shins, disabling him from dancing. Laverne forces Richie into the dance and coaches him through the moves, leading them to victory and new TVs for both. That night Potsie and Richie expect their reward from their dates, but Laverne scares Potsie off by acting ultra-experienced. Richie takes the hint and says he had a good time anyway, prompting Shirley to give a big kiss – not because she had to but because she wanted to. Shirley still feels guilty for using the boys, but forgets about it quickly when she sees the new TV in action. Sandy Wirth is Carmine’s date Lucille Lockwash. Garry Marshall appears at the band’s drummer. Betty Garrett is introduced as the girls’ new landlord Edna Babish. 9/18/18
• 020. The Bridal Shower – 11/9/1976
  • Laverne and Shirley have another dateless night at the Pizza Bowl, where the find out from Carmine that Fat Elinor Stefanick member of their old high school gang the Angora Debs is getting married. They feel bad and try to think of other members of their group who are single but can only come up with a nun. When they receive an invitation to the bridal shower and find out it is being held in the home of Big Rosie Greenbaum (Carole Ita White), they initially decide not go, until Edna convinces him they should be there for their friend. Laverne’s rivalry and frequent fistfights with Rosie causes Shirley to warn Laverne about trying to be civil at the party. When they arrive, they find out that Elinor is no longer fat, and Rosie is just as mean and petty as always, often rubbing it in Laverne’s nose that she has married a wealthy proctologist. When Rosie calls Laverne a bimbo, Laverne can take no more and throws Rosie’s fox fur in the punch bowl. Shirley tries to stop the fight and first and then agrees that Laverne needs to stick up for herself. Rosie finally backs down, but still mocks the girls’ single status, while the other girls in the group, namely Crystal (Barbara Brownell) and Cookie (Valerie Armstrong) simply pity them. Laverne changes their mood when she espouses the perks of singledom, making them feel bored with their married lives. Although Elinor is not discouraged from marrying, she is still sad that her party is such a downer. Shirley helps change the mood by leading the girls in the Angora Debs’ club song. 9/19/18 
• 021. Look Before You Leap – 11/16/1976
  • Laverne has been having morning sickness and thinks she is pregnant. Carmine hears about it from Rosie and confronts Shirley about it, and it is overheard by Lenny and Squiggy, who have come in through the dumb waiter while pretending it was a coal mine. Shirley relates the story to Mrs. Babish as to how she thinks it may have happened: Laverne won a chug-a-lug contest at a work party and met a man named Jim, went on a walk around the brewery, and passed out in a vat, dreaming about marrying Jim and enjoying their honeymoon. When she got home, she found she was wearing men’s underwear. However she remembers that she was given those when she won the contest signifying that she was now one of the guys. However once she started with the morning sickness, she began to question what really happened. Mrs. Babish offers to make an appointment for Laverne with her gynecologist. Meanwhile Lenny proposes marriage to Laverne so the baby will have a last name, an offer she politely declines. Shirley has Laverne’s father come over, so Laverne can tell him the news first hand. After hitting the ceiling in anger, he pledges his support. Later when Laverne returns to the Pizza Bowl after her appointment, she informs everyone that she’s not pregnant, which incites a round of Hallelujah led by Carmine. 6/8/19
• 022. Dear Future Model – 11/23/1976
  • When Lenny and Squiggy go gaga over Monika (Sandra Will), the Miss Headpin model posing for publicity at the Pizza Bowl, Laverne and Shirley find out that she makes $60 an hour. They decide to give that career a try and send away for a $15 modeling academy-by-mail. They began following the steps, including sending in a lock of Laverne’s hair for analysis, Shirley walking around in a SCUBA suite, and Laverne shrink wrapping her legs. Carmine brings over his girlfriend, lingerie saleswoman Lucille, and offers for Laverne and Shirley to host a sales party with them acting as lingerie models for Big Rosie and her friends. They model several outfits, but when Rosie insults Laverne, she rubs chip dip on her face. The girls’ next stop is at the William Henry Holmes (Billy Sands) Modeling Agency. There they see the other models including the ultra-skinny Lenore (Rebecca Dianna Smith), who is working on losing weight. When Holmes needs models for a quick job, Laverne and Shirley are the last ones standing, when he chooses all of the other models and Miss Kelly (Deborah Harmon), the receptionist, before them. Shirley is left feeling sad and foolish, but Laverne reminds her about all the guys who regularly fight over her. Michael Mann is the photographer. 6/8/19
• 023. Good Time Girls – 11/30/1976
  • Laverne and Shirley are getting asked out weekly by the creepy and annoying “Hickey” Hector (Greg Antonacci), and when they keep declining him, he calls the girls rude. He takes revenge on them by writing their names on the bathroom wall at Vinnie’s Pool Hall. The begin getting a barrage of rude calls from various men wanting a ‘good time’. They accept dates from two accountants named Kevin (Stephen Nathan) and Scott (Bruce Kimmel), but they too are there for a good time and get aggressive with the girls to the point that they need to have Frank run them out. The next time a rude call comes in, Laverne treats them nicely in order to find out where they got the impression that they were ‘fun’ girls. They then dress up on Lenny and Squiggy’s clothes and disguise themselves as men in order to go erase their names from the wall. Lenny and Squiggy happen to be there and act as lookouts for them, and also tell them that they know that it was Hector who wrote their names. They confront him and actually end up feeling bad when Hector seems crestfallen that they really don’t want to date him. They tell him they don’t want to date because they are friends and that dating might ruin their friendship. Because they are now friends, Hector promises to erase their names off the other bathroom walls where he wrote it. Fred Willard is the man in the bathroom. 2/24/20
• 024. Two of Our Weirdos Are Missing – 12/7/1976
  • Although still at odds, Laverne is able to put aside her anger toward Big Rosie in order to take a ride with her in her new Cadillac so they can meet some eligible men. When Lenny and Squiggy ask the girls to go with them to the circus, they turn them down for their night with Rosie. Before they can leave, Lenny comes down to tell them how depressed Squiggy is and that not attending the circus is just one more depressing thing in his meaningless life. Shirley meets a pro golfer on the night out, but the next day she has distressing news: Lenny and Squiggy have ‘runned away.’ It seems everyone is looking for them and want to punish them: Mrs. Babish for paying their rent in Monopoly money, the Big Ragoo for trading away his mambo records, and Frank for ruining the floor at the Pizza Bowl. Laverne’s suitor Officer Hughes tells the girls that the guys are at the circus. Laverne and Shirley go to the circus where they find out from the ringleader Lionel T. Zimmerman (Carl Ballantine) that the boys are about to be fired. They are working on a terrible clown act that they are gong to present to Zimmerman, but the girls tell them the bad news, but also tells them that they need to come home and that they’ll talk to everyone about making sure they’re forgiven. The boys are touched and agree to come back home. Before Laverne and Shirley leave the circus, they have a bizarre run-in with Charlie the midget (Frank Delfino) and five of his friends. Shirley finally get a date with the golf pro Dirk Sampson (Joe Bratcher), and winds up beating him at miniature golf and planting a passionate kiss on him. 2/24/20
• 025. Oh Hear the Angels’ Voices – 12/21/1976
  • Carmine gathers everyone at the Pizza Bowl to ask them to participate in a Christmas show at the hospital, and they all agree. Upon arrival they meet Dr. Pulper (Roger Garrett), who inform them that the hospital is actually a psychiatric hospital. When they meet the actual Dr. Grayson (Howard Hesseman), he reveals that Pulper likes to impersonate members of the staff. Shirley is particularly freaked out about the situation because she had always been threatened by her parents that she’ll get put in a mental hospital. Laverne talks her into staying even though Shirley becomes even more nervous when a female patient keeps staring at her. Laverne meanwhile is flirting with patient Vincent Van Horn (David W. Duclon) (billed in the credits as Vincent Van Eagle) who claims he will lavish her with expensive gifts. Lenny and Squiggy perform an acoustic song as Lenny and the Squigtones called The Jolliest Fat Man. Carmine does an acrobatic tap dance while singing Jingle Bell Rock, to which he trades licks with the drummer (Garry Marshall). Laverne and Shirley then do their dance and baton routine while singing Winter Wonderland. The music then blends into Making Our Dreams Come True and Jingle Bells. After the show, some of the patients approach them to thank them and present them with a signed thank you scroll. Dr. Grayson also thanks them and invites them to sing Jingle Bells around the tree. He also reveals that Vincent is actually an oil tycoon, so Laverne tells him to get in touch with her. As they sing around the tree, Shirley puts her arm around the girl who had been staring at her. Rick Sandack appears uncredited as a patient who helps present the scroll. 6/6/20
• 026. Guilty Until Proven Not Innocent – 1/4/1977
  • As Carmine and Frank head out in Laverne’s car to a Packers game, Shirley forces Laverne to go dress shopping for the Policemen’s Ball, and wants to check out the dresses at the uppity Carlisles’s Dresses. The store manager Mr. Clark (Louis Nye) becomes irritated with them for even attempting to haggle and asks them to leave. When Laverne tries to wipe egg off her teeth with a handkerchief in her purse, she accidentally re-loads her purse with a store handkerchief and is arrested by the store detective Jenkins (John C. Moskoff). She is taken to jail and thrown into a cell with hardened criminals Estelle (Jeannie Linero), Toni (Barbara O. Jones aka Barbarao), and Sherry (Marilyn Redfield). Laverne calls Norman, and although he is thrilled to be the first one that she called, he can do nothing but tell her that bail will be $500. Shirley tries to bring Laverne some of the comforts of home, but she is too embarrassed to allow a stuffed animal. Laverne is forced to participate in a line-up where Sherry is identified for robbing a gas station, but is released on bail. Back at home, Shirley and Edna are singing the blues and getting drunk. Lenny and Squiggy are trying to raise money by trick or treating in costume and telling people they are collecting for UNICEF. Shirley decides she has to do something, so she goes on a date with Clark and convinces him to drop the charges. She brings him to the jail, but he demands that first Laverne admit she is guilty. When Laverne refuses and he threatens to let her stay in jail, Shirley screams at him and tells him that she will expose his toupee to the world and call him Snootnose. He finally agrees to drop the charges in the interest of never seeing them again. Back home Frank returns from the trip and tells Laverne that her car broke down immediately. Laverne covers up what happened and tells Frank she stayed in all weekend. Shirley reports in her diary that Laverne learned how to lie in prison. 6/7/20
• 027. Laverne & Shirley Birthday Show (aka Anniversary Show) – 1/10/1977
  • Laverne and Shirley have gone to Chicago for a bowling tournament and taken first place for the Pizza Bowl. As Frank impatiently waits for their return to throw them a party, Carmine, Lenny, Squiggy, Edna, and Big Rosie wait around tell stories about them. These include flashbacks from the gals from Good Time Girls, The Bridal Shower, How Do You Say “Are You Dead” in German?, Angels of Mercy, and The Society Party. Everyone speculates on what is keeping them from arriving, but the fact is that they took the wrong train and they are at a station in Canada. The gang recall further memories via flashbacks from Bachelor Mothers and Excuse Me May I Cut In?, and Lenny and Squiggy talk about their various entrances to see the girls, and the time that Lenny proposed to Laverne when he thought she was pregnant in Look Before You Leap. Big Rose remembers the their bowling skills from Bowling for Razzberries. Laverne and Shirley finally show up in the wee hours of the night, just in time for Frank to give them their cake and then all go home. Laverne is bitter about the evening, while Shirley tries to have a good attitude. Everyone has a change of heart and comes back to continue with the party, which prompts Shirley lead them into a rendition of High Hopes. 9/21/20
• 028. Playing Hooky – 1/11/1977
  • It’s a beautiful Tuesday morning and Laverne didn’t have much sleep the night before, so Shirley suggests that they take a sick day and go enjoy the outdoors. They call off and head to the bakery and to see Bwana Devil in 3-D, and then to the Pfister Recreation Center to play on the playground. Laverne prefers to go look for men, but Shirley goes to get them Fudgecicles from the ice cream man instead. Laverne has a run-in with a bratty little girl named Melissa (Kathy Ritzke) and her mother (Penny Krompier). The spot two guys at the park who they saw at the movies, and Shirley flirts with the guy named Bob (Archie Hahn). Melissa returns and spins them to fast on the roundabout, under the watchful eye of Bob and his friend Ernie (Victor Holchak). The girls come home and find Frank playing music and drinking wine with Francine Marzetti (Sheila Cameron), and he rushes off. The girls then realize that Bob and Ernie have followed them home. The girls decide to be as mysterious as they are and invite them in tell them that they’re models. They play charades and dance and drink Frank’s leftover wine, until they run out and Ernie has to run out to buy some champagne. While he is out, Bob gives the girls $100, claiming it is to reimburse them for the wine and food, but when they take the money and put it in their Bible, Bob reveals himself to be a vice cop and arrests them for solicitation. Bob’s Captain Ernie returns and tells Bob that he can’t offer them money and arrest them as it is entrapment. He also says he knew right away they were nice girls, and just wanted a date with them. Both men are apologetic, and everyone wants to return to the date except for Shirley who is highly offended. All three of them then beg her to continue, and she finally gets up and starts playing charades again. 9/21/20
• 029. Guinea Pigs – 1/18/1977
  • With no plans for the weekend, Mrs. Babish gives Shirley her invitations to a fancy cocktail party on Sunday evening. Shirley is anxious to go, but Laverne points out that the invitation specifies that it costs $20 per person to attend. The girls force Lenny and Squiggy to show them their secret spot that they go to earn money, which turns out to be the Institute of Behavioral Sciences, where they act as test subjects. Shirley winds up in a nutrition study under the eccentric Dr. Futoran (Robert Cornthwaite), where she is subjected to a variety of horrible health foods that another subject named Harold (Harry Shearer) seems to enjoy. Laverne gets into a sleep study group under Dr. Sandor (Kip Gilman), where she is forced to go for two days with only an hour and a half of sleep, all while avoiding the advances of another subject (Jack Lukes). When the study ends, Lenny and Squiggy pick them up and take them directly to the cocktail party, and they change clothes in the back of the truck. Once they get to the party, Laverne can hardly stay awake and Shirley is ravenous. Security guard Myron (Bob Basso) keeps his eye on them because he thinks Laverne is drunk. They meet one nice man named Charles Warner (Richard Young), but Shirley uses him to prop Laverne up while she unsuccessfully tries to get some food. Shirley eventually gets Laverne to a chair, but she somersaults to the floor, while Shirley attacks a dropped cracker and devours it. She gets Laverne over to the food table by doing the Bunny Hop, but Laverne falls head first into the chicken liver. Later that night, Myron has let Shirley sit by the food table and eat, while Laverne sleeps under it with Charles. Paddi Edwards is the receptionist. 1/6/20
• 030. Call Me a Taxi – 2/1/1977
  • As Shirley is suffering the pangs of a paper cut, Laverne comes home from work and tells her that they and the other bottlers have been laid off for three weeks. Lenny and Squiggy on the other hand have picked up overtime as drivers and are rolling in money. They go over to the Pizza Bowl and ask Carmine to help them find a job, so he makes some calls. Big Rosie comes in and flaunts her money as well, offering to help the girls out, but Laverne refuses. Carmine get them jobs at Dance Land, where they will act as taxi dancers for 10 cents per dance. They meet a seasoned dancer there named Charmayne (Julie Payne), who gives them some pointers… and warns them not to infringe on her dancers. The girls have a wild dance with two men (Peter Elbling, Larry Hankin), then go through a dry spell with no one asking them to dance. They decide to make themselves more sexy, so Laverne rips her dress and Shirley stuffs her chest. The men line up and they wind up with $20 worth of dance tickets. Lenny and Squiggy also show up to spend some of their money using the pseudonyms Hickey and Sticky, posing as a novelist and game hunter. Laverne’s father then comes in and demands that they leave there, and offers them minimum wage jobs at the Pizza Bowl helping the waitress Mary (Frances Peach). As they work, Carmine sings Young at Heart, and Rosie comes in giving them a hard time. Laverne and Shirley stage a fight so they can cover Rosie in spaghetti. 1/7/21
• 031. Steppin’ Out – 2/8/1977
  • Laverne and Shirley are getting ready to go out for a nice date with Leon Devin and Roy Drillick to see the Five Satins at Chez Pfister and before they even get started in getting ready, they are interrupted by Carmine, who is fixing their dumbwaiter, Big Rosie, who is collecting clothes for an orphan’s charity so she can get a gold trophy, and Lenny and Squiggy, who are fascinated by the apartment building across the street where their friend Angelo lives being on fire. Then when Laverne finds out that her poodle skirt’s poodle’s eye is missing, she has trouble finding something to wear. Shirley uses powdered Quickie-Poo instead of washing her hair, and when it won’t come out and ties her hair in knots, she needs to take a shower. Mrs. Babish comes over to warn them that they will lose water pressure when they turn on the hydrant outside, leaving Shirley full of shampoo in the shower. She ends up drying her hair in the oven. Carmine then brings a stranger (Ron Prince) in to use their phone when his car catches on fire outside. They quickly throw him out when he keeps asking the girls if they fool around. The girls finally manage to get ready with minutes to spare, but while they are waiting Lenny and Squiggy lure them outside to see the kids run through the fire hydrant, and the girls wind up getting soaked. Still, they manage to make their date with Leon and Roy… who they both declare to be jerks. Later Laverne and Shirley have different dates, who they say goodbye to at the door. As Shirley writes in her diary about the date and how proud she was of Laverne for not going too far, Laverne sneaks her date back into the apartment. 5/2/21
• 032. Buddy Can You Spare a Father? – 2/15/1977
  • Shirley is excited that her father Jack (Scott Brady) is coming for a visit, but Laverne thinks he is a deadbeat, and knows that Shirley will ultimately wind up feeling upset. Before he even arrives, Phil Franklin from the funeral home shows up to get Shirley’s signature, because Jack has sold Shirley’s plot for $50. When he arrives, he gets Shirley to endorse the check, borrows some money from Mrs. Babish, then heads out again, promising to be back for dinner. However, he fails to show up, so Shirley sits alone waiting for him, while Laverne heads off to help her father at the Pizza Bowl. She laments to Squiggy that her father never wants to spends any time with her, so he suggests finding him and showing him how fun she can be. Shirley decides to track him down at Moby Domenick’s, a seedy bar on the waterfront, where the bartender (Jack Perkins) accuses her of being a missionary. Carmine and Laverne track her down at the bar, and they all wind up getting in a fight with some of the patrons (Fred Carson, Hank Robinson, Arthur Tovey). When Jack walks in, Shirley winds up hitting him accidentally. They have a talk about how often he has stood her up ever since she was a kid. He says that he always seemed to come empty-haned and was ashamed. Shirley says she doesn’t care about money, and just wants to be with him. He shows her that he always carries her picture of her. He then makes a bet on the arm wrestlers in the bar… band borrows Shirley’s money to do it. He then sings his version of Daddy’s Little Girl at the piano, passing the hat at the end of the song. 5/3/21
• 033. Honeymoon Hotel – 2/22/1977
  • While watching From Here to Eternity on television with Lenny and Squiggy, the host announces the winner of a contest to win an all-expenses paid trip in the Hotel Pfister for someone about to married. Laverne is shocked when Shirley is announced as the winner, and takes the phone call from the host and poses as Shirley so she won’t miss the opportunity. Shirley had entered the contest a year and a half earlier, and assumed she’s be getting married by now. Since the contest was only opened to engaged couples, Shirley gets Carmine to act as the groom and then leave, so Laverne & Shirley can enjoy the hotel after the photos are all taken. After Shirley and Carmine enter the room in their wedding attire with the hotel manager Mr. Gunther (Geoffrey Lewis) and the photographer Herbie snaps his photos, Carmine and Shirley let Laverne out of their suitcase, Carmine takes off, and the girls make their plans to enjoy the hotel for the weekend, and meets some of the guests: a doctor’s convention, and Hungarian Circus, and Leroy and his Organ in the Conga Room. The girls explore the luxurious surroundings, including a bed that plays piano when you sit on it and a heart-shaped toilet. Gunther and Herbie then return to the room to take more pictures, which they’ll be doing all weekend. Laverne is forced to pose as her husband Guido, wearing a fake mustache, and posing for the photo with a towel over her head. Laverne then leaves to explore, and winds up bringing acrobats back to the room. She also finds that Lenny & Squiggy and Big Rosie are crashing the proctology convention. She invites everyone up, and they all have a huge party. When Gunther returns, he tells them he’s kicking them all out, but then Rosie comes to the rescue and pays for the room, which is good enough for him, and the party rages on. As they reflect on the fun weekend, and head out of the room, Shirley discovers that Laverne is stealing the toilet seat and forces her to leave it behind. 8/27/21
• 034. Hi, Neighbor – Book II – 3/1/1977
  • Everyone seems to have a date on Friday night except for Laverne and Shirley. Laverne’s father is taking out Mrs. Babish, and Squiggy is going out with the love of his life Barbara Tedesco (Lynn Marie Stewart), is taking along Lenny to date Barbara’s friend. The boys call up Laverne and Shirley to see how they look for their date, and the girls recommend that they rent some formal wear to go the French restaurant La Fondue. Just before the guys are about to leave, Squiggy calls tell Barbara they are picking them up, but she tells Squiggy that they’re cancelling so they can stay home and do their hair. Laverne and Shirley take pity on them and decide to go along with them. No one in the party seems to know how to behave in such a fancy restaurant. Laverne accidentally orders cow brains, and the waiter (Gino Conforti) tells Shirley that her lobster was alive just 30 minutes ago. Laverne falls out of her chair twice. When Squiggy goes over to another table to borrow the butter, he sees that Barbara is there with another man. He spends the rest of the meal hiding under the table. Shirley talks him down from making a scene and tells him to behave with grace and dignity. He does stop by her table as they are leaving, and she pretends she doesn’t even known him. Still, he keeps his composure… until Barbara insults Laverne and Shirley. Then he returns to the table and pulls the tablecloth out, sending food flying everywhere. Back at the girls’ apartment, Lenny and Squiggy decide to let the girls off the hook and don’t try to romance them, but the girls decide to give the guys a nice goodnight kiss, sending them jumping around the room like goofballs before leaving. Roger Til is the Maitre d’. 8/27/21
• 035. Frank’s Fling – 3/8/1977
  • With Lenny and Squiggy’s help, Laverne and Shirley have been taking care of the Pizza Bowl the last few days while Frank is off at the Bowling Operators of America convention in Chicago. Just before Frank arrives home, they have a mishap with a keg of beer that floods the floor. When he arrives, he has a surprise for them: he has brought back a woman named Veronica (Maureen Arthur), whom he started seeing in Chicago. Laverne takes an instant disliking to her and her phoniness. Shirley tries to convince Laverne that she read in Reader’s Digest that older men sometimes need a fling to let them know they’re still men, and that Laverne should let it run its course. However, when it appears that Veronica is taking over the Pizza Bowl when she tries to make it into an upscale restaurant with piano music and low-lighting, not to mention the barrage of backhanded insults directed at them and Mrs. Babish, they start to plot on how to get rid of her. Carmine, Lenny, and Squiggy also join the plan after Carmine’s singing engagements are canceled by her, and Lenny and Squiggy can no longer meet her dress code. Laverne invites Veronica over to the apartment to supposedly get to know her better, and finds out that she intends to marry her father. Lenny and Squiggy then show up acting like gangsters trying to collect $20,000, with Carmine playing the role of the Big Guy. Shirley tries to convince Veronica that even without money, she and Frank will still have their love, but she wants no part of it, and rushes out. Later, a sullen Frank comes over with the departure letter that Veronica wrote, inconsolable that she left him. Laverne and Shirley admit that they drove her off since they thought she was after his money. Frank confesses that he knew she was after his money, but wanted to have a fun few weeks with her. Laverne promises to never interfere again, but Frank understands that this is what daughters are for. 2/26/22
• 036. Haunted House – 3/22/1977
  • Laverne is trying to fix the couch in the living room by adding bricks under since the leg has fallen off. She winds up falling through the cushion and getting stuck. Likewise Shirley tries to help her out and gets stuck herself. Carmine and Big Rosie stop by to pick up one of his records, since she is paying him for dance lessons. After they help the girls out, Laverne and Big Rosie compete to show off their dance steps. On their way out, Carmine tells the girls about his friends doing demolition work who told him about a condemned manor where they are selling off their old furniture. When Shirley finds out that the place is the old Ramsdale Manor, a supposedly haunted house she has heard about since she had been a child. Laverne talks her into going anyway, and they bring along Lenny and Squiggy. The find a dusty old couch they are interested in, and tell city employee Bill Gardner (Beans Morocco) that they are interested in it. After hearing strange noises and hearing a wolf howl, they try to leave quickly, but they are stopped by a giant man named Bernie (Mickey Morton) who locks the front door and tells them to prepare to stay there for a while. Bill tries to escape with them through another passage, but he is grabbed by Bernie and dragged into a giant closet. While looking for their own escape route, Lenny and Squiggy are pulled into a revolving bookshelf. Shirley finds an old diary on the shelf that talks about visits from Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant. Bernie then appears again, this time pushing his elderly sister (Shirley O’Hara) in a wheelchair. She tells them that she means him no harm, but they wanted to take hostages in order to stop the city from demolishing the house. Shirley points out that the diary of her grandmother might help prove that the house is a historical landmark. Bernie retrieves Bill from the closet, and tell the girls that they sent Lenny and Squiggy home because they scared Bernie. Laverne sings The Battle Hymn of the Republic as Shirley makes her pitch to Bill to preserve the house. This seemingly enables Mrs. Ramsdale to walk again, but Bernie tells them she could always walk; she’s just lazy. As the Ramsdales go over the diary with Bill, Laverne and Shirley head home, but not before the organ in the house starts playing itself. In appreciation of their efforts, Bernie helps the girls fix their couch, and Mrs. Ramsdale sends them their own suit of armor. 2/26/22
• 037. Lonely at the Middle – 3/29/1977
  • Lenny comes down to have Laverne nurse a staple injury he got while putting together a picket sign to use to strike at Schotz. Laverne tells him that the dispute has already been settled, and how she is glad they won’t have to go through another strike after the last one almost cost her Shirley’s friendship. She recalls how she and Shirley attended a strike meeting with Iris (Hollis Irving) and Big Henry Wanda (Pat McCormick) leading a speech favoring a strike. Shirley suggests that they always lose out in the strikes after all of their miserable effort, and that they send someone to talk to the boss Warren Tompkins (Byron Webster). They suggest that Shirley act as their representatives. When she goes to talk to him, they come with a plan to put in a middle manager to organize their work and improve their productivity, which when then lead to the raises they desire. This person will be Shirley. She tries to comp up with different ideas to improve productivity, including productivity charts, a suggestion box, and improved processes for efficiency. Not only to the other workers get irritated with her quickly, but Shirley’s eye for process improvements bleeds into her home life, and she drives Laverne even more crazy there. Eventually Laverne hits Shirley in the face with a cake. Laverne then starts to sabotage Shirley by putting a mustache on her picture, and purposely botching the assembly line of putting gold stars on the beer bottles. She even throws herself on the conveyor belt. Shirley then challenges Laverne to a fist fight, and as they tussle, Mr. Tompkins walks in. He says he’s impressed with the process improvements, but that their team has become even less productive. He dissolves Shirley’s position and sends her back to the assembly line. Lenny gets bored with the story Laverne is telling him. Shirley then enters the room and reminds Laverne that she had never wanted to talk about that again. They recall the depression Shirley went through after her failure at the job. She punishes herself for her poor job, causing Laverne to sing her High Hopes, until Shirley hits Laverne with a cake. In the present, Lenny and Squiggy come in and sing them a song called Strike While the Union Is Hot, and the girls throw them out. 7/1/22
• 038. Citizen Krane – 4/5/1977
  • The gang throws Edna a surprise party at the Pizza Bowl, and while they are preparing to perform some entertainment for her, a famous Milwaukee impresario named Charles Pfister Krane (Severn Darden), who is responsible for countless musical careers, comes into the bar with his lackey Lackey (Michael Mann) to use the phone when his car breaks down. He gets to hear the cute poetic ditty that they all sing to Edna for her birthday. Krane is particularly impressed with Laverne and Shirley’s performance, so he offers to take them under his wing and make them huge stars. They all take it with a grain of salt, but it starts Shirley dreaming big about becoming rich and famous. However, when a delivery man (Ogden Talbot) brings them chocolate and candy, and Lackey stops by to invite them to his home the next day, they start to believe it is actually real. The next day the come to the Krane’s mansion and he begins his tutelage of them, and the begins working with her, starting with Rudy the choreographer. He tells them they will be putting on a preview performance the following Sunday for his friends. After rehearsing six nights in a row, they get ready for their performance. Big Rosie stops by and they tell her the news, causing her to drop to her knees to beg them to introduce her to Mr. Krane as well. They shop on Sunday and bring along their lucky charm stuffed animal Boo Boo Kitty. They do a rousing performance as The Rosebuds along with a group of male dancers to the song Da Doo Run Run.  When Shirley goes out to sign autographs, Mr. Krane tells Laverne that he is going to have to fire Shirley because she missed too many steps during the performance. Laverne tells him to buzz off because she won’t’ do anything without Shirley. When Shirley comes in, crushed because someone had thrown Boo Boo Kitty into the outdoor pond. Laverne tells Shirley that their career is over because Mr. Krane thought Laverne screwed up too much in order to spare Shirley’s feelings. They have their male dancers carry them out of the mansion and take them home. 7/2/22

SEASON 3

• 039. Airport ’59 – 9/20/1977
  • The girls have won a contest at Shotz to be flown to Baltimore to see the Colts vs. Packers game Carmine, Edna, Frank, Lenny, and Squiqqy gather at the Pizza Bowl to watch the game. While trying to spot them at the crowd at the game, Laverne and Shirley show up at the Pizza Bowl with a death-defying tale of their flight. Flashing back, they recall boarding the plane to Baltimore, and how scared Laverne was to fly in the first place. Once she gets her on the plane and settled, Laverne settles in her seat next to a nun. The girls meet the stewardess Cindy (Tita Kerpan), who introduces them to a member of the ground flight named Cindy (Kit McDonough), who is filling in as stewardess because of the surge of passengers going to see the game in Baltimore. Shirley has Laverne chew some gum to keep her ears from hurting. When another passenger (Ed Peck) tells her that she has to chew harder, she swallows the gum. To keep Laverne’s mind off the flight, Shirley takes her to see the pilot Smilin’ Ralph “Buzz” Anderson (Roy Stuart), who happily invites them back. When Shirley gets Buzz some coffee, turbulence causes her to spill it in his lap, and he hits his head on the ceiling. With no co-pilot on the charger flight, Laverne is forced to take control of the airplane. They communicate with ground control, and while Laverne flies the plane, Shirley tries to find a passenger who can fly the plane. When the girls accidentally release the airplane fuel, ground control tells them to turn back around to Milwaukee. Amazingly, they are able to guide the plane to the airport runway, when Buzz wakes up and helps with the final landing. By the time they finish telling their friends the harrowing story, it is halftime at the game…. and worse yet, no one believes them. Shirley thanks Laverne for saving her life, and Laverne thanks Shirley for sticking with her. They both thank God for being their co-pilot. 10/23/22
• 040. Tag Team Wrestling – 9/27/1977
  • Laverne and Shirley are involved with a group of women headed up by Edna Babish, who are putting on a benefit wrestling event to help build a playground for Milwaukee orphans. Laverne is teaming up with her tough, tall friend Terry Buttafucco (Judy Pioli aka Judy Evans) to take on professional wrestlers the Masked Marvelettes. They get help from everyone from the teenage Helen (Tracy Reiner) to the elderly Mrs. Kolcheck (Rose Michtom). Carmine is even opening the night with an exhibition boxing match, although they are having trouble finding an opponent for him. Eventually Squiggy agrees to fight him. Terry and Laverne show up at home where the ladies are all creating fliers. Terry has to hold back Laverne as she has picked a fight with a lady who cut her off and has dubbed her banana face after the lady growls at her. On the night of the fight, Carmine tells Kid Squiggy that he will go easy on him, but he doesn’t think he will need the charity. Squiggy nearly knocks himself out just getting his robe removed. When Lenny tries to show Squiggy how to punch Carmine, he actually punches Squiggy and knocks him out. Next up, the Masked Marvelettes come out with their trainer (Lynne Marie Stewart), and one of them recognizes Laverne as the girl who called her banana face. The Marvelettes decide to beat Laverne to a pulp, and unfortunately, Terry hasn’t shown up because she injured herself lifting her brother’s car. Shirley steps in as Laverne’s partner and is ready to trash talk when she thinks it is an exhibition, but then gets scared when she finds out who the ladies are fighting for real. The advantage goes back and forth, but after the manager puts a bucket on Laverne’s head, Shirley jumps in the ring and saves her from being smashed between the Marvelettes. They wind up running into each other, and Frank counts out the Marvelettes when Laverne and Shirley simultaneously pin them. After the match, Shirley is on a high from the victory, but Laverne can only count her aches and pains. However, the best news is that they not only raised enough money for the playground but had enough left over to buy the orphans a new TV. 10/24/22
• 041. The Pact – 10/4/1977
  • While Lenny and Squiggy are bowling at the Pizza Bowl, the overlook Laverne & Shirley’s new bowling outfits to go over to another lane and hit on a blonde named Cricket Grabowski (Dee Gardner). When Cricket’s boyfriend Hank Andrews (Dale Robinette) sees this, he challenges the guys to a fight. Lenny and Squiggy don’t back down, but Shirley sees them about to fight and yells at the guys and diffuses the situation. Hank tells Shirley that she has a lot of spunk and then gives her a palm reading, telling her she has a long love line and that her eyes indicate that she would accept a dinner date with him. He tells her that Cricket is just a physical attraction and that he needs someone like Shirley who he can talk to. Shirley is on cloud nine and accepts the date, staying out with him until the wee hours of the morning. The next day working at the Pizza Bowl, Hank comes in to see Shirley but winds up hitting on Laverne, giving her the same tired lines about her love line and seeing in her eyes that she would go out with him. It isn’t until after she accepts that she realizes that he is the same guy who Shirley has fallen for. Laverne calls Edna over to ask her opinion on what to do. At first, she thinks it is Laverne’s veiled way of telling her that Frank is having an affair. Once Laverne tells her the full situation, Edna winds up saying that if Shirley isn’t too serious, she just shouldn’t say anything. Shirley later tells Laverne that she is planning on going away with Hank and that he might be the ‘one’. Laverne then decides to tell her that Hank had asked her out. Shirley is furious and thinks Laverne is just jealous. The two get into an argument about anything and everything, and Laverne ends Shirley’s Nancy Drew spoon. Shirley responds by taking the ‘L’ off of Laverne’s shirt and flushing it down the toilet. Hank shows up, Shirley overhears him hitting on Laverne again, telling her that there is only a physical attraction with her and that he needs someone with Laverne’s intellect. Laverne fills his hat with milk and Pepsi and sends him on his way. Shirley apologizes for not believing Laverne, and they make a pact that they will never let a man come between them again. 2/28/23
• 042. The Robot Lawsuit – 10/25/1977
  • Laverne and Shirley go into a toy store to look for gifts for Shirley’s twin nieces Mindy and Cindy. While Cindy is dealing with the salesman (Bill McLean), Laverne starts playing with a Roger Robot (Billy Curtis) toy, but it ends up attacking her. Laverne has a lot of neck pain when she gets home, so Shirley tries to cheer her up with a puppet show and her upside-down face that she names Mr. Getwell. While Laverne is lamenting why bad things happen to them, an attorney named Robert A. Markland (Richard Karron) visits Laverne and offers to sue the toy company on their behalf for $100,000. He plans to take a third of the settlement and says that the $120 bill from the toy store will be waived. Lenny and Squiggy think they are entitled to a cut and stage a sit-in at the girls’ apartment. When Laverne tries to lift Squiggy, her neck gets stretched and repairs itself. Carmine stops by and convinces Laverne that her symptoms could flare up again and she would be out any doctor’s bills. Laverne reapplies her neck brace and decides to move forward with the lawsuit. Shirley is the first person put on the stand by the toy store’s lawyer Mr. Cramer (George Pentecost) tries to get Shirley to admit that Laverne is a dishonest cheat. Shirley tries to deny this, but he provides numerous occurrences of Laverne stealing and cheating on a test in History class. Markland puts Laverne on the stand and asks her about her constant pain, but Laverne won’t lie about the pain. When Cramer hears this, he indicates that the toy store is going to sue Laverne since she lied about the situation. When she hears this, Laverne rails against the system for coming after her after she told the truth. The judge (Harry Holcombe) asks to see the two lawyers and the robot in his chambers. Cramer emerges with the robot in pieces, and the judge determines that the robot was indeed faulty and dangerous. He finds in favor of Laverne, who no longer has to pay for the damages at the toy store and will be compensated for any medical costs. He makes sure that Laverne understands that system does indeed work, albeit slowly at times. As they are leaving, Lenny and Squiggy are brought in since they are suing the Blammo Fireworks Company. The judge tells them to leave as this is the third lawsuit, they’ve brought forth this week. 2/28/23
• 043. Laverne’s Arranged Marriage – 11/1/1977
  • One night at the Pizza Bowl, a man named Nick Martino (Johnny Desmond) resembling a mobster comes in and speaks to Frank. Lenny and Squiggy think that he is planning to murder them on Frank’s order. In reality, Martino is the Mozzarella King and is only there to arrange for Laverne to marry his son Vito. Meanwhile, Shirley and Carmine go out on a date and share an awkward kiss after agreeing to go out on another date. Shirley finds that Laverne is hiding in the closet in order to avoid marrying Vito. Laverne is ready to run away to escape the situation. Shirley recommends that she should stand up to her father instead of running away. Lenny and Squiggy show up to clean Laverne and Shirley’s apartment so that Frank will like them better. Laverne goes to talk to her father to tell him that she doesn’t want to marry Vito. Frank runs right over and tells her that she is going to do it anyway, all the while smashing full beer can after can. Once she adamantly makes it clear that she isn’t going to let him run her life any longer, Frank decides to give her the silent treatment. Lenny and Squiggy bring Frank a free keg of beer. Although Frank won’t talk to Laverne, he will talk to Shirley. Laverne can’t take her father not speaking to her, so she decides to go forward with the marriage. Shirley then steps in and reads Frank the riot act and tells him that she no longer likes him, but he only smashes another full beer can. Shirley tells him that his future might see Laverne showing up late at his house in tears with his grandson because she’s left Vito. She had tries to make the marriage work for her father, even though she tries to make it clear that she didn’t love him. Shirley says this happened because years ago, he refused to talk to her. Frank marches in and tells Laverne that even though he and Laverne’s mother had an arranged marriage, he’s decided that Vito isn’t good enough for her and that she shouldn’t marry him. Frank tells Laverne that she should have told him how she felt, but Laverne insists that she tried. Frank laments that he no longer has a muffin and now has a grown woman. The two embrace and make up. Shirley joins them in hugging and says that she wants a nickname from Frank. He gives her Laverne’s old nickname ‘Messy Pants.’ 8/1/23
• 044 & 045. The Cruise aka An Affair to Forget – 11/8/1977
  • Shirley works on packing for a five-day cruise on the Great Lakes to Detroit, hoping that they’ll find some single men. Laverne goes to the bank to get their money for the trip, but they are $50 short because they never replenished money that they had taken out for their car. This makes them short that amount for their cruise, so they turn to Carmine for help. He gets them a temporary job at J&J Shoes for Women through his friend Uncle Tom (George Memmoli) who owes them a favor. He has the girls dress up as Jack and Jill to sell shoes to the kids in Carmine’s tap class. Their first customers are Mrs. Anderson (Sandy Roveta) and her bratty son Lawrence (Scott Casto), who has bought twenty pair of shoes from Uncle Tom. Thanks to the mischief from Lawrence, they wind up doing damage at the store while Tom is out. They get fired, and again go back to lamenting the fact that they won’t get to go on the cruise. However, Frank serves the girls a pizza at the Pizza Bowl, and Laverne finds a fifty dollar bill in one of the slices, courtesy of Frank. When Lenny and Squiggy hear that they found the money in the pizza, needing money for their rent, the start tearing up everyone’s pizza. The day of the trip finally arrives, and the girls are accompanied for ship’s launch by Carmine, Edna, and Frank. Carmine performs a Spanish song and dance before they take off. Carmine gives Shirley a camera as a Bon Voyage gift. Lenny and Squiggy show up to grab all of the women goodbye. Edna and Frank go off to make out in a lifeboat. Shirley meets Ensign Gary Benson (Phillip Clark), but tells Laverne she wants to meet men, not sailors. When the announcement comes for visitors to disembark the train, Lenny and Squiggy fail to do so. They show up at Laverne & Shirley’s cabin after they hear that there are stowaways on board. Shirley wants to give them up, but Laverne doesn’t have the heart. They tell the guys they will hide them as long as they don’t mention that they know the girls. Laverne scouts men and gets seasick, as Lenny and Squiggy join a mariachi band on board. When Ensign Benson appears, they hang over the edge of ship but are caught when a crew member throws garbage on them. Ensign Benson has them airlifted off the ship via helicopter. Instead of punishing Laverne and Shirley, he invites them out to have dinner. Shirley begins spending all of her time with Benson, while Laverne makes time with a group of crew members. Although she can’t resist Benson, Shirley tries to hide from him because she doesn’t want to get involved with a sailor. On the night of the big party on deck, Shirley has a meltdown because Benson asks to speak to her about something important that could affect his life. Shirley thinks it is ridiculous to agree to get married after knowing someone for only four days but also can’t bring herself to turn him down. She asks Laverne to stay in the room so that he can’t ask the question. Benson keeps asking Laverne to leave the room, but she refuses. However, Shirley changes her mind and has to convince Laverne to leave after all. Unfortunately, Benson’s question for her is whether she thinks he should stay on the Great Lakes cruise or switch to ocean voyages. Shirley tells him that he belongs on the ocean, and Benson tells her how great she is to talk to. Shirley feels terrible that she wasn’t asked to marry him, so Laverne offers to give Shirley one of her crew members. However, Shirley quickly meets another man, and the two dance the night away with two guys. Their friends all arrange a welcome home party for the girls, but they just stop in at home, drop off their luggage, and head out for a pizza. NOTE: This was a one-hour episode that later aired as two parts in syndication. 8/15/23
• 046. Laverne & Shirley Meet Fabian – 11/22/1977
  • On a freezing cold afternoon, Laverne tries to stay warm when the heat goes out, while Shirley heads over to Pfister Arena to get tickets for the Fabian concert. Lenny & Squiggy find her there passed out while they are getting tickets for midget wrestling. They drag Shirley home, and she reports that the concert is sold out. They turn to Laverne’s father to use his contacts to get tickets. He comes up with front row tickets… but they are for Jerry Vale. They then run into Big Rosie Greenbaum, who has two fourth row center tickets to show, and she teases Shirley that she might give them to her, but probably can’t. Laverne tries to see if Carmine can help get tickets, but he has no way to get them either. However, when Laverne hears Rosie toying with Shirley, she tells both of them that Carmine is getting them front row center tickets, as well as dinner with Fabian before the show. Rosie doesn’t believe her, and she makes a bet that this won’t happen, with the loser being forced to clean the other’s house with a toothbrush. When Laverne tells her that she made up the story about Fabian, Shirley wants to pursue actually trying to make it happen. They wind up dressing up as housekeepers and adopting a French accent and entering Fabian’s room. They are able to convince Fabian’s manager Pete (Ken Lerner) that they are the real deal, so he leaves them in the room to Fabian’s dinner ready. They hide inside his wardrobe closet, but when Freddie the bellhop (Fred Fox Jr.) finds them there, the calls the police. Laverne and Shirley sneak out onto the ledge to hide and wind up getting locked out there in the freezing cold. Eventually, Fabian (himself) comes into his room and sees the girls and lets them in. He tells Freddie to call off the cops, and he gives them tickets to the show. They also take their picture of the girls kissing his cheek, which is the evidence that will cause Rosie to lose the bet. He rehearses in his room, and they request that he sings Turn Me Loose. As he sings, neither of the girls can keep their hands off of him. After the Fabian show, Laverne and Shirley had Lenny and Squiggy over to revel in the aftermath… while Rosie scrubs their bedroom with a toothbrush, and then moves onto the bathroom. 11/30/23
• 047. The Stakeout – 11/29/1977
  • Laverne and Shirley come home from shopping and find that their front door isn’t latched, and someone is flushing their toilet. When a man comes out of the bathroom, the girls threaten him with baseball bats until he reveals that he is an FBI agent named Herb Prange (Michael McManus). Mrs. Babish then comes in with another agent named Ronald Williams (Mel Scott), telling the girls that she had given them permission to use their apartment as a stakeout location to watch one of the men living across the street. The girls suspect that it is an Italian man named Mr. Marzetti. It turns out that they are correct, and Marzetti is a suspected counterfeiter. The girls want to stay at the apartment and watch the action, even though they have a bowling date with Lenny and Squiggy. The girls tells the boys that the men are their cousins, even though Ronald is black. Although they are told not be involved or talk about the case, the girls are fascinated with it, and they stay very close to the action and want to know what is going on at all times. Laverne is titillated with the idea of the agents spending the night at their apartment, until she thinks about what her father’s reaction would be. Sure enough, Lenny and Squiggy bring him back to their apartment and freaks out about the men, until he realizes that they are federal agents. Eventually, Marzetti and another man speak right outside their window, with one man saying he will bring Marzetti a package. The agents say this refers to a box of counterfeiting plates. Both Laverne and Shirley are astounded when they realize that the other man in Carmine. The agents will not let the girls leave the apartment, but they want to get word to Carmine that the FBI is on to him. Laverne dresses up like a tramp and throws herself at Herb to distract him, while Shirley tries to sneak out to get word to Carmine. The married Herb tries to reject Laverne’s advances, but she catches him in a big kiss. Shirley is caught by Ronald as she tries to leave the apartment. Carmine then voluntarily shows up at the door. Even though the girls try to warn him that the FBI are there, he reveals his identity and still wants to come in. Carmine is thrown into handcuffs, but claims he has no idea why. When they open the box that he is carrying, they turn out to be tap shoes for Marzetti’s daughter. Ronald then gets world that they picked up Marzetti’s wife with the counterfeit plates. Carmine is depressed that the girls could believe such a thing about him, but the girls – along with the FBI – apologize profusely to him. He says he can’t stay angry at them and stays over for dinner. He then realizes that Marzetti wasn’t as generous as he originally thought since he handed him a fifty-dollar bill and told him to keep the change, since it is probably counterfeit anyway. 11/30/23
• 048. Shirley’s Operation – 12/6/1977
  • Shirley is helping Carmine put on a play of Alice in Wonderland as a promotion for his dance studio. Shirley, who will portray Alice is getting the living room ready to rehearse with the cast. Carmine comes over dressed as the Caterpillar, and he gives Shirley a kiss on the cheek for all she is doing. She reasons that it will give him more students, which will equate to more money and more dates. Laverne is dressed as a sexy Mad Hatter. Mrs. Babish is playing the King of Hearts, and Frank is dressed as a large-footed Rabbit. Lenny and Squiggy show up as Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum but can’t agree on which is which. Before they start rehearsing, Shirley has a gas pain, but Laverne is able to give her some Bromide and burps her. However, as they start to rehearse their lines, Shirley has another pain, and this time collapses and passes out. Her friends take her to the hospital, but Shirley wants to go home. Frank wants to call her parents, but she doesn’t want them to worry. He explains how parents want to worry and comfort their children, and he tells Shirley he loves her. Shirley still wants to go home, but Shirley tells her that she will get the doctor immediately to see her, and that she absolutely needs to be checked out. She grabs Dr. Kevin Lawler (Joseph Hacker) and makes him give her a quick diagnosis, determining that she has Appendicitis, and that her appendix needs to come out. Nurse Hoblit (Michele Bernath) wheels her off for surgery, and Laverne vows to pray for her. Soon after, the nurse returns and says that Shirley is gone. Laverne panics that she has passed away, but the nurse clarifies that Shirley has disappeared. Laverne and Lenny go looking for her around the hospital, while Squiggy stays back at the room with Shirley’s roommate, who is in a full body cast. Shirley sneaks back in to get into her clothes, but Squiggy catches her. He encourages her to sneak out and not listen to the doctors. He said that when he was young, he refused to be treated for measles and wound-up getting pneumonia for months. Squiggy dresses in her wig and jumps in her bed, and when Laverne returns, she finds Squiggy in her bed. Shirley then comes out of the bathroom and tells Laverne she’s ready for surgery, thanks to Squiggy’s tale of rebellion. She comes out of the surgery just fine, but thinks she is bald since she has on a hospital cap. Laverne winds up getting a date with Dr. Lawler, which Shirley claims rightfully belongs to her. 12/2/23
• 049. Take My Plants, Please – 12/13/1977
  • Because the Braves have been having a losing streak, beer sales are down at Shotz, and Laverne and Shirley are being laid off. Inspired by Lenny and Squiggy’s plans to invent their own electric radio toothbrush while they are off, Shirley decides to buy plants wholesale and resell them at retail prices. She spends Laverne’s and her own $62 to get a batch of plants from a guy named Rudy (Ralph James), who she promises to pay another $62 after they’ve sold enough plants to afford it. They quickly sell plants to Lenny and Squiggy by convincing them they can give them women to pick them up. They also sell to Mrs. Babish, who gives them a book on how to sell items door to door. They cast aside until they realize that they aren’t making any money, and Rudy wants his additional $62 so much that he smashes a plant pot over his head to show that he means business. They head to an apartment building and try to sell it to a woman named Dolores (Cisse Cameron aka Cissy Colpitts), but she is busy having an affair with a guy a named Harold (John Simpson), who she just met. They try a good cop/bad cop routine to try an upsell a milk toast guy named Walla P. Buckley, but when Shirley calls him ‘Baldy’, he freaks out and refuses to buy anything. They make a sale to a fighting couple named Mr. and Mrs. Lasagna (Janice Carroll), who just use the plants to throw them at each other. They also pretend that Laverne is Yugoslavian to a customer named Hilda (Virginia Peters) in order to get her sympathy, but Hilda’s sister x just happens to be Yugoslavian, so they give her a plant for free to shut her up. Finally, they try the tactic of not taking no for an answer, and they are able to sell $20 worth of plants to Harold, mostly because he doesn’t want them to tell his wife that he is there with Dolores. Using their new approach, they wind up bringing home $230, and after paying Rudy his money and the expenses of keeping the plants healthy, they clear $90, which is $5 more than they could have made on unemployment funds. Nevertheless, Shirley feels good about it since now she knows she could make it without relying on Shotz. Although Laverne is bitter about the amount of work they did for $5, she ultimately agrees with Shirley. However, they are thrilled when they get a letter from Shotz calling them back to work. Carmine fixes the mailbox that Rudy had damaged when he was trying to collect his money, and tells Shirley that Rudy wants to take her out. Lenny and Squiggy finish their invention, but the toothbrush and radio combo merely shock Lenny and send him into convulsions. 4/8/24
• 050. New Years Eve 1960 – 12/27/1977
  • Laverne and Shirley are planning a New Years Eve party to be held at the Pizza Bowl and are collecting $5 a head. Laverne is depressed that she can’t get a date with Norman Hughes the cop because he will be on duty that night. When their friend Beatrice stops at the Pizza Bowl, Shirley tries to collect from her, but then finds out that she and her boyfriend of more than ten years, Pete Lacurdo (Craig Littler), have broken up and she is now dating a foot doctor. While Shirley is now depressed because she’s never dated a doctor, Laverne sees the opportunity to snatch Pete now that he’s available. Shirley tells Laverne that if she can get him to come to the apartment, she guarantees that he will ask her to the party. Meanwhile, Lenny stops by with Squiggy on his shoulders and they ask to borrow a rope and some cold cream. They say it all relates to a New Years surprise, but the girls aren’t interested in finding out why. Later, Laverne gets Pete to go roller skating with her and brings him back to their place. She gets him on the couch and starts kissing him when Shirley interrupts to try and get him talked into going to the New Years Eve party. Eventually, he gets around to asking Laverne and she enthusiastically accepts. The party is a success, and Carmine gives Shirley the gift of a diary, which he’s already written in as if he were Shirley boasting about her terrific kiss with Carmine. Laverne starts to fall for Pete, but as she is putting up some mistletoe for them to kiss under, Beatrice comes by and puts their song Chances Are on the jukebox. Pete immediately goes back to her and embraces her, causing Laverne to run out crying. The party moves to outside their apartment where Lenny and Squiggy are going to reveal their big surprise. Shirley comforts Laverne, who is lamenting the fact that she’s not pretty enough and drinking milk and Pepsi. Shirley encourages her and tells her that Pete and Beatrice have been in love for years and that no one could have kept them apart. Laverne finally cheers up and they go outside, where Norman the cop is on duty and comes over and gives her a big kiss. Squiggy slides down a rope dressed as Baby New Year to celebrate the first day of 1960. 4/8/24
• 051. The Mortician – 1/10/1978
  • While Carmine is in the apartment teaching Edna to tap dance, Shirley comes home from work and tells them that Laverne has been taking the bus home in order to try and meet a guy on whom she has a crush. On this day, she had decided to get off the bus with him and follow him. It turns out that he works as a salesman for the Northside Mortuary. He introduces himself as Stan (John Fink), and then helps another customer named Mr. O’Malley. While Shirley is making small talk with O’Malley, she gets her hand stuck in an urn when her bracelet falls inside. Thankfully, they have been using it as an ashtray instead of an urn. When he questions her, Shirley tells Stan that she is there for business, and then proceeds to tell him that her roommate Shirley is dying. Lenny and Squiggy show up to deliver beer for a wake at the mortuary, and they are shocked when he mentions that Laverne’s roommate is dying. Stan says he’d like to make arrangements with Shirley directly, so Laverne tells her what she has done, but Shirley is adamantly against pretending that she is dying. However, Laverne reminds her of the time that she dated a sock-chewer named Alan Steckler so that Shirley could date his friend, pharmacist Milton Von Blish, so Shirley reluctantly agrees. Lenny and Squiggy come to say goodbye to Shirley and give her a lifetime subscription to Confidential magazine, although they only sign her up for six months. Later, Stan picks up the girls in his hearse, leading Lenny and Squiggy to think they are taking Shirley away. When they arrive at the mortuary, Laverne asks Shirley to act strong, so she picks out a coffin with confidence. However, it doesn’t ring true, so Laverne then tells her to act like she is scared to death. When she breaks down crying in a panic, Stan tries to comfort her, so Laverne blurts out that she’s not dying at all. She says she forgot to tell her that the doctor called and said they found a vaccine to kill her. At this point, Stan gets angry and thinks they are playing a prank on him, but Laverne tells him that he should be flattered since Laverne only wanted to date him. Stan agrees to start over and call her for a date that weekend. Laverne tells Shirley that she only pulled this trick because people, including Shirley, had always told her that she can’t just simply ask a guy out, but from now on, that’s exactly how she will do it. Later, Laverne is watching a scary movie at home, but Shirley keeps her eyes closed. Lenny and Squiggy come in and think it is Shirley’s dead body, but Laverne tells them that it must be her ghost, as Shirley gets up and chases them out while saying she wants to suck their blood. 8/26/24
• 052. The Horse Show – 1/17/1978
  • Shirley brings home a horse named Buttercup, who she has known since she was a child when it would pull around the fruit cart of Mr. Pioli. Now that Buttercup has gotten older, Pioli plans to sell him off, and Shirley is afraid he will be killed. She tries to butter up Laverne before telling her that Buttercup is in her room, but although Laverne has affection for the horse, she insists that the horse can’t stay. Shirley says it will only be for a couple of weeks until they find a home, but Laverne is afraid Shirley will become attached. Much to Laverne’s surprise, Mrs. Babish agrees to let the horse stay. Shirley throws a tantrum and hold her breath to try and convince Laverne to let him stay. Lenny and Squiggy stop over to find out how to get pudding off the ceiling and meet Buttercup as well, and Squiggy agrees with Laverne that he belongs in a zoo. However, once Laverne introduces Squiggy and the horse, he changes his tune and advocates to keep it. Shirley finally agrees to get rid of Buttercup, but then makes Laverne feel guilty that the horse will ultimately be made into glue. Laverne finally gives in and agrees that they can keep him until they find a home. They get Carmine looking for a place for him. They also check into boarding, but it is $80 a month. They receive a visit from health inspector Max Gruber (Robert Casper), who insists that they get rid of the horse within the next 24 hours, or he will dispose of it for them. While they wait, Laverne attempts to feed Buttercup a vitamin pill by blowing it through a tube into his mouth. The first two hit Shirley in the head, until Laverne winds up swallowing it herself. Carmine shows up and says he got Buttercup a job at Mungo’s Pony Rides, but when he sees how old and big Buttercup is, he realizes that they will never take him. Shirley seduces him and kisses him and gets him to agree to scour the area for a farm for Buttercup. Lenny and Squiggy dress as flamboyant cowboys and say they can get Buttercup a job in the rodeo, but the girls remind him that Buttercup can’t buck. When Edna tells Frank about the horse, he comes over and insists that Buttercup vacate the apartment. However, when Laverne reminds him that Buttercup worked hard all of his life, often carrying heavy loads just like Frank when he was a mailman, and how he is now ready to retire, just like Frank, he decides that no harm will come to the horse. He agrees to let it stay at the Pizza Bowl until a home is found. Eventually, Carmine locates a farm where the horse can stay. Shirley says her goodbye to Buttercup and promises to visit him on holiday and weekends when she has no date. While Shirley and Laverne are sitting next to the stall, Lenny and Squiggy come in and discuss being owed by the girls for bringing the horse to the farm in their beer truck. The girls then tell them that it is not a good idea in deep voices, making the guys think that Buttercup and another horse are talking. They determine that these horses must be Mr. and Mrs. Ed. 8/26/24

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