The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1  – CBS

Created  by Bernard Fein and Albert S. Ruddy

Theme song composed by Jerry Fielding

• 001. The Informer – 9/17/1965
  • In 1942 Germany, a World War 2 prison camp Stalag 13 serves as a base of Allied operations right under the nose of the camp Kommandant Colonel Wilhlem Klink (Werner Klemperer) and Sergeant of the Guard Sgt. Hans Georg Shultz (John Banner), who turns a blind eye to the resistance activities for fear of being sent to the German front. Heading up the resistance is American Air Force Colonel Robert E. Hogan (Bob Crane), who is joined by Staff Sergeant James “Kinch” Kinchloe (Ivan Dixon), French Air Force Corporal Louis LeBeau (Robert Clary), and Royal Air Force Corporal Peter Newkirk (Richard Dawson). One of the prisoners , Olsen (Stewart Moss), escapes and switches places with Lieutenant Andrew Carter (Larry Hovis), with the intention of giving him the identity of a German civilian in order to allow him to escape. Following that Olsen will return to keep the head count always the same, and the process will repeat. Hogan tests any incoming prisoner to make sure they are not a German ringer, and one prisoner, Wagner (Noam Pitlik), fails the test. Hogan pretends to have full trust in Wagner and takes him to show the underground operation that includes a prisoner steam room, a counterfeiting ring, and manufacturing of German novelty cigarette lighters. However he fills him with a series of lies, that makes his claims sound outlandish when he reports the camp to SS Gestapo officer Col. Burkhalter (Leon Askin), and thus causing Wagner to be sent to the front. Leonid Kinskey plays Russian POW Vladimir Minsk. Cynthia Lynn is Klink’s secretary Helga. Walter Janovitz is Oscar Schnitzer. Richard Sinatra is Sergeant Riley. Jon Cedar is Corporal Langenscheidt. NOTE: Although Carter escapes the camp in this pilot, his character would become Technical Sergeant and a series regular. This is the only episode to be filmed in black and white. 3/25/17

• 002. Hold That Tiger – 9/24/1965
  • When Col. Klink gives the prisoners an update on the war and tells them about a new Tiger tank being manufactured by the Germans, Hogan decides to steal one of the tank and bring it back to the camp to dissect. Newkirk disguises himself as a Gestapo officer to get out of the camp and ‘borrow’ the tank from its location, citing a prisoner uprising at Stalag 13. LeBeau sneaks in an agent, who much to Hogan’s surprise turns out to be a woman also known as Tiger (Arlene Martel), to sneak out the blueprints of the tank once it is examined. Hogan manipulates Klink to punish the camp by closing the Recreation Hall, in which they hide the tank while simulating the escape of Newkirk, who is actually driving the tank, that distracts them from the hiding of the tank. Tiger confesses that she has been curious about Hogan, the man who runs the brave operation of the resistance. General Hofstader (Rico Cattani) comes looking for his tank, but Klink is dumbfounded as to where it can be. The tank then burst forth from the Recreation Hall and in the ensuing chaos, Tiger makes her escape, kissing Hogan goodbye. Hogan tells Klink that he theorizes that the Gestapo have been behind the strange goings-on because if his perfect record of the stalag having no escapes. 3/26/17
• 003. Kommandant of the Year – 10/1/1965
  • Knowing that the allies will not bomb a P.O.W. camp, the Germans send Major Hauser (William Allyn) with a V-Bomb to be stored at the the camp for two days until a launching pad is ready for it to be used against England. Hogan contacts the Brits, and they arrange to send a team of Commandos and Colonel Schneider (Woodrow Parfrey) who will examine the missile. Hogan creates a diversion by planting a note with Colonel Klink notifying him that he is being awarded Kommandant of the Year. LeBeau meets the four men and gives them German clothes to enter the camp as Germans presenting the award. While Klink is making his speech, Schneider programs the missile to be fired. He is nearly caught by Hauser, who then shows Schneider the bomb and how it can’t be launched, inadvertently launching it himself, which ends up wiping out half of an airfield in Hamburg. Victor French is commando ‘Little Red Riding Hood.’ Ray Goldman appears in his first of 77 uncredited appearances as a P.O.W. 5/9/17
• 004. The Late Inspector General – 10/8/1965
  • As Hogan and his men plan to blow up a train, Hogan is summoned to Klink’s office where he finds that General von Platzen (John Dehner) is coming to make an inspection of the camp. Hogan inadvertently triggers the escape of Olsen by launching several explosions while the von Platzen is in the camp. Fearing this could result in Klink being sent to the Russian front, he tries to make it appear that he feared Klink and was purposely trying to get him demoted. This backfires when von Platzen wants to promote him to head up all P.O.W. camps from Berlin. Now Hogan and his men have to make Klink look bad by making it obvious they have a radio, exposing a tunnel, and stealing the engine form his car. Von Platzen sends for a car to be taken to his train, but the men who take him are Carter and LeBeau. Just when Klink laments to Hogan that his career has probably come to an end, Hogan encourages him to wish that von Platzen’s train explodes… which it ultimately does thanks to the original plot they had been planning. 5/9/17
• 005. The Flight of the Valkyrie – 10/15/1965
  • The prisoners smuggle in Baroness Lili von Schlichter (Louise Troy), a defecting woman wanted by the Nazis whom they plan to smuggle out of the country via a shot-down American plane. Colonel Klink thinks that the strange goings-on around the camp can be attributed to Hogan and appoints captured RAF Colonel Crittendon (Bernard Fox) brought in from another Stalag 18 and appointed to Senior POW Officer of the camp. Although the camp members object, Hogan insists that he is ranking officer and that the men honor his position. Although Crittendon is all for escape attempts, he objects to smuggling out other Germans as spying should not be undertaken by the POWs. While Crittendown works on an escape tunnel, Hogan as his men work on repairing the plane. When Crittendon stumbles into their work area, Hogan knocks him out and later tells him he hallucinated the plane and Lili. Crittendon has the idea to escape through the woods by setting a diversionary orchestra to play Ride of the Valkyries in a tent. Meanwhile both Schultz, and then Crittendon find Lili. Crittendon reluctantly gives her one day to leave before he turns her in. As the orchestra plays, Hogan sends Lili off in the plane, while Crittendon crosses the fence. Once he is outside the camp, the prisoners claim that Hogan is now in charge since he is no longer in the camp and decide to stay behind. Crittendon is quickly caught, and Hogan puts the blame for the escape on him to Col. Klink. 12/29/17
• 006. The Prisoner’s Prisoner – 10/22/1965
  • The British Sergeant Walters (John Orchard) is captured with his unit attempting to blow up an ammo dump 50 miles from Stalag 13, that is intended to be used on an attack of an unknown target.. Hogan conspires to finish the job, and plans to get out of the camp by convincing Klink that he was shortchanged by receiving only one of the seven of captured paratrooper prisoners who are located at Kleinfeld. Hogan and Carter sneak out on the truck Schultz is driving to retrieve the prisoners after Klink demands them. Upon arrival, the break into the wine cellar of the home of General Karl Schmidt (Roger C. Carmel), where he is entertaining his Fraulein (Inge Jaklyn)… and where the detonator is located.  Hogan activates the detonator to explode, knocks out the General and takes him as a prisoner. Hogan convinces Schultz that Schmidt is a prisoner, and convinces Klink that Schmidt is a ‘phantom’ and master of disguise. Klink won’t listen to Schmidt’s pleas as to his true identity. Hogan aims to find out the location of Schmidt’s staff, and tries to convince Schmidt that he is deathly ill and needs to get out of the camp, hoping Schmidt will reveal the location ostensibly so Hogan can contact them for his release. When Hogan and the men throw him a Christmas party, telling him that he won’t survive until the holiday, he reveals the location as Heidelheim. This allows London to better plan for their attack. Walters and Schmidt are then sent out and two other replace them as part of the ‘prisoner exchange program.’ 12/29/17
• 007. German Bridge is Falling Down – 10/29/1965
  • Hogan arranges for the prisoners to light the way with cigarette lighters so two pilots (Forrest Compton, Hal Lynch) can blow up the Adolf Hitler Bridge. They somehow miss destroying it, so Hogan plots to blow it up themselves. They get LeBeau to swipe some kitchen items so that Carter can try and develop explosives. Carter causes multiple explosions while developing the bomb, so the men put up a Construction sign on the road outside the camp. After another major explosion, Hogan calls off this initiative and suggests using the German’s ammunition. In order to steal it, he has the men paint graffiti paint graffiti on the ammunition building, so that while they’re painting they can steal away under the painting tarp, pick the lock, and steal the gunpowder out of the ammo. Once they build the bomb, the men plant the bomb on the courier, setting the timer to explode at the time he should be reaching the bridge. However they find out that Schultz bribed the driver to go to Dusseldorf to take coffee to his wife. Hogan tells Col. Klink that his men has bribed the messenger to pick up Klink’s favorite wine in order to bribe him to re-open the recreation hall, so Klink phones ahead to make sure the messenger bypasses Dusseldorf and goes on his normal route. The bridge blows up as planned. Hogan volunteers to re-build the bridge if Klink will re-open the recreation hall, but secretly plans to built it with a built-in bomb. 9/2/18
• 008. Movies Are Your Best Escape – 11/5/1965
  • RAF Lieutenants Ritchie (John Crawford) and Donnor (William Christopher) are forced to abandon their planes and make their way to Stalag 13, where Hogan and his men hide them. Meanwhile General Von Kaplow (Henry Corden) visits the camp with a briefcase of battle plans handcuffed to him. Hogan intends to steal the plan, and does so by inviting him to a dinner party to celebrate the anniversary of the repealing of Prohibition, and then having Newkirk pretend to clean up a broken glass under the table, while breaking into the lock of the case. They photograph the war plans and then plan for Ritchie and Donnor to get them to London. They do this first by convincing Schultz that they’ve heard that the Germans are losing the war, and then planting the same notion in Col. Klink’s head by having Newkirk fake a broadcast from Hitler. Ritchie and Donnor then pose as cameramen shooting footage of the Stalag for military records. Thinking they are losing the war, Klink behaves exceptionally nice in the footage. The plan is almost foiled with the General returns to see Helga, and reports that the Germans are winning on all fronts. Kling nearly destroys the camera which contains both the footage and the plans, but Hogan pretends to destroy it for him. Kling orders Schultz to get a car and take Ritchie and Donnor wherever they want to go. 9/2/18
• 009. Go Light on the Heavy Water – 11/12/1965
  • German Captain Mueller (John Stephenson) and his Sergeant Steinfeld (Lawrence Montaigne) are transporting a barrel of water from Norway to Berlin, when a raid with heavy fire forces them to take refuge at Stalag 13. At first Hogan and his men don’t believe it is water, so Newkirk causes a diversion while Carter steals some, but when he drinks it they do in fact determine that it is water. Hogan finds out from his contacts that it is actually so-called ‘heavy water’ used in nuclear experiments and he is told to make sure it doesn’t leave camp. He manages to convince Colonel Klink that it is water from the Fountain of Youth, so after he tries some and he and Helga are able to convince him that he is looking younger a growing hair, he plots with Sgt. Schultz to steal the water. Mueller intercepts him and tells him the true nature of the water. Hogan moves to the next plans and has a smoke bomb lobbed into Klink’s office. Hogan recommends that Steinfeld move the truck away from the fire, and when he backs it near their barracks, the men roll the barrel of heavy water out and substitute it with a barrel of regular water. Meanwhile Hogan continues to have his affair with Helga right under Klink’s nose. Eddie Firestone appears as POW Scotty. 5/27/19 
• 010. Top Hat, White Tie and Bomb Sights – 11/19/1965
  • LeBeau keeps Schultz from checking the beds by offering him strudel, while Hogan and the men receive orders from London to make contact with a spy waiter named Willie (Monroe Arnold) at the Hosnerhoff Hotel in Hammelberg to relay a message. However Hogan’s plans to sneak out of camp are waylaid when Klink orders an electric fence to be put around the camp perimeter. In addition, Hogan discovers that Klink has bugged his room. He and the men begins to put on fake conversations which lead Klink to believe that Hogan is not only soft on the Germans, but that he has plans to a top secret ‘Norden bomb site’. General Burkhalter orders Klink to make life easier on Hogan, and when he comes to visit, he offers to take Hogan out to dinner to the Hosnerhoff Hotel. While there, Hogan is able to pass off his message to Willie, as well as charming Klink’s date Gretchen (Sigrid Valdis) right under his nose. When Hogan is ready to talk about the Norden, he draws up the prints for it, but it is actually a Norden vacuum cleaner he is describing. Although Klink is let off the hook for punishment, he is still humiliated… and even more so when Hogan hands him back his bugs and tells him he didn’t want to upset him in case he dreams of Gretchen. Edward Knight makes his first of ten appearances playing different characters, this time as Major Klopfer. 5/27/19
• 011. Happiness Is a Warm Sergeant – 11/26/1965
  • A Texan named Captain Jeb Winslow (Bruce Yarnell) is shot down and is given refuge from the allies in Stalag 17. Hogan prepares to send him to a submarine rendezvous, but the radio points are broken, so Hogan sends Newkirk into town to retrieve parts, by having him fake a toothache and having Schultz to a dentist. Newkirk drags him into a bar for a drink where the bartender supplies him with the radio parts, and Newkirk gets Schultz so drunk that he has to bring him home in a wheelbarrow. Klink is so angry that he makes him guard the outside in the cold, and then brings in a tyrannical Sgt. Ernst Krebs (Norman Alden) to replace Schultz. Hogan and the men don’t want to see Schultz go, but doesn’t like his idea to turn in Winslow to get on Klink’s good side. Hogan has alternate plans to get rid of Krebs instead, and intercepts Schultz’s transfer papers. Carter hands over a radio to Krebs, insisting he is just trying to help his score points, but it has the opposite effect when it squirts water in Klink’s face. Then the men give the illusion that there is a tunnel under ground, but it proves to be another trap when Klink falls in it. Finally they allow him to overhear a fake escape plan that will take place at the barracks, then make an escape while Newkirk is showing Krebs a card trick. They allow Schultz to make the bust to get him in good with Klink, while Kinchloe helps Winslow make a real escape through the tunnels. Klink gives Krebs his walking papers and revokes Schultz’s transfer. Norbert Schiller is Max. 2/13/20 
• 012. The Scientist – 12/3/1965
  • Sgt. Schultz gives the order that no one is to leave their barracks, and the men see that the Germans are sneaking a civilian into camp and putting them in a barracks that has been emptied out. The guys involve Schultz in a blackjack game, and when he starts losing, Hogan only agrees to give him extended credit if they tell them who the civilian is. Schultz refuses but then lets it slip anyway, that it is a French scientist named Henri Du Bois (Maurice Marsac). Kinchloe gets a message from London that the Germans have not been able to convert Du Bois and plan to eliminate him. Hogan convinces Klink that Du Bois wants LeBeau to work with him, so Klink ‘forces’ LeBeau to act as Du Bois’s assistant. Du Bois confides in LeBeau that the Germans are holding his daughter Marie (Jayne Massey) and forcing him to work for them. Hogan decides to disguise himself as a German General and rescue the girl from the hotel where she’s being held captive. He makes demands and throws a fit, threatening to send everyone to the Russian front. Two officers (Forrest Compton, Buck Young) bring her out, and they take her back to meet with her father and arrange their rendezvous with the escape sub. Hogan informs Klink that Du Bois has escaped, and Klink is worried that Berlin is sending Professor Altman (Parley Baer) to check on Du Bois’s experiments. Hogan suggests that LeBeau pose as Du Bois since Altman has never met him, and Klink agrees for fear of his job. Carter gives LeBeau a Pharmacy Handbook to brush up on chemistry. LeBeau fumbles through a presentation on emulsion that doubles as a nasal decongestant to Altman and Captain Krug (Bard Stevens), but they are perfectly happy with the presentation as they are getting fed wine as well. Word gets back that the Du Bois’s are picked up safely. Hogan suggests to Klink that he can save his job by saying that Du Bois was killed in an explosion in his laboratory, which he then blows up. 2/13/20  
• 013. Hogan’s Hofbrau – 12/10/1965
  • Stalag 13 are visited by Captain Milheiser (Frank Marth) and Lieutenant Doenitz (Willard Sage) of the Adolf Hitler Division, who attempt to extort money from Colonel Klink and the camp, claiming it is for an organization called Beautify Berchtesgaden Klink doesn’t have the money to donate, but pledges 5000 franks under fear of his life and job. Meanwhile Hogan gets a request from London to try and find more information about the Hitler Division, so decides to infiltrate a local tavern called Hilda’s Hofbrau to try and find information from officers who frequent the pub. Dressing and posing as Major Hoopert, he joins Milheiser and Doenitz for a drink and gains their trust, learning that their division is likely moving toward the Russian front. He also has an affair with the bar owner Hilda (Paula Stewart) and finds out that she is planning to close the tavern for lack of help. He offers up some help from the camp, so that she can keep it open and he can gather more intel. He brings along Newkirk, LeBeau, and Carter. Schultz comes in as a customer and finds everyone there, but is too scared to bring them back as he may be held responsible. Milheiser and Doenitz demand that Klink meet them at Hilda’s to bring them the money. When Schultz hears this, he tells Hogan that his men cannot be there, but it is too late as they are already there. Hogan sneaks out to get them out while Schultz attempts to stall Klink. It doesn’t work, and Klink catches them all there, but Hogan pays the men the 5000 franks and gets Klink off the hook. Nevertheless, he is ready to try Hogan as a spy, imprison the men, and get Schultz court-martialed… until Hogan tells him that Klink had them work there to make money to pay Klink’s debt. Hogan later confesses to Schultz that the money he gave the Hitler Division was counterfeit. NOTE: Willard Sage’s character is named Lieutenant Schmidt in the credits. 5/24/20
• 014. Oil for the Lamps of Hogan – 12/17/1955
  • General Burkhalter brings industrialist Fritz Bowman (William Mims) into the camp, so the men hide LeBeau inside Klink’s safe to eavesdrop what is going on. He finds out that due to the allied forces success with bombing industrial plants recently, they’ve decided to build a synthetic oil refinery within Stalag 13 in order to be under the radar. The men fear their operation will be ended, and Klink in fact does tell Hogan to have his men ready to relocate to different stalags within three days. Hogan in turn convinces him that he will lose his job and be forced back into combat. He also engineers the men stealing a barrel of oil, purposely getting caught in an attempt to tunnel out, and then have Klink noticed that they are covered in oil. Hogan convinces Klink that there is oil under the stalag that he intends to claim when the war is over, and he offers to not only include Klink, but Burkhalter as well. Klink takes it Burkhalter, who although unwilling to cut in Hogan, does try and convince Bowman to build the refinery elsewhere. Bowman will have none of it, and offers to have them each put in their proposals to Hitler. As a last ditch effort, Hogan gets a message to simulate a bombing over the stalag, dropping flyers warning that if they build the refinery, the next bombing will be for real. In this light, Bowman realizes that he cannot move forward with his plan. Klink knows that Hogan is responsible, but convinced just enough that he has saved his job as well. 5/25/20
• 015. Reservations Are Required – 12/24/1965
  • Newkirk pretends to sleepwalk and causes a diversion so that LeBeau can sneak out and pick mushrooms for dinner. Once he gets on the outside, he is found by two American soldiers Braden (Robert Hogan) and Mills (Dennis Robertson) from the nearby Stalag 9. They are just two of twenty soldiers who have escaped, all of them looking for assistance from Hogan. He hides them out and readies them for their departure. Braden and Mills grow impatient and lose faith in Hogan, and thus attempt to escape in a water truck. Hogan feels they are risking getting the other men caught, so he tells Schultz about their location in the tank and then purposely pins it on two of their own men so Braden, Mills, and the other men are not discovered. The men create a new tunnel entrance in their barracks and plan for the escape that night since Schultz is now extra-suspicious. When they attempt the escape they find that there are two German goons right by the tunnel exit. They send LaBeau ahead to get caught, and then ‘inform’ the Germans where the tunnel originated. While the Germans are taking him back to the barracks, the Stalag 9 men get the signal to go ahead. The men of Stalag 13 are punished by 30 days in the cooler for all of Hogan’s men. 9/8/20
• 016. Anchors Aweigh, Men of Stalag 13 – 12/31/1965
  • Hogan and LeBeau are discovered outside of camp by Schultz, as they are awaiting a Captain Michaels (Michael St. Clair) who has escaped from Stalag 5. He shows up with both a stolen truck and German gunsight. They take him back to the camp to plan his escape, which will be made more difficult by the need to smuggle out the gunsight. Hogan launches a plan that begins with telling Klink that he look tired, and is need of having his own Officer’s Club in the stalag. He agrees to let Hogan arrange it, and for LeBeau to oversee the building of it using the German soldiers. LeBeau has them build a yacht, and Hogan convinces Klink that his officer’s club should be unique in that it is a yacht club. Klink agrees and gives Hogan permission to bring aboard crates of champagne and caviar to throw a party, and Hogan encourages him to invite Colonel Burkhalter. The crates he brings on board for the refreshments contain the gunsight. Hogan then has Carter tell Klink that he that Burkhalter threw a fit when he saw the fancy Officer’s Club at Stalag 5, insisting that they shouldn’t have anything so fancy while men are suffering on the battlefronts. Klink orders Hogan to get rid of it immediately, so Hogan attached the boat to a truck. He then has the German soldiers load up a life raft that actually contains Michaels, and has them drive it to the water, where the British submarine will be waiting for them. Burkhalter, who has come for the party, is disappointed with the stale dinner he gets. Hogan later returns Michaels’ stolen truck to Klink, so Klink orders his men to go in search of Michaels… who by now is long gone. 9/8/20
• 017. Happy Birthday, Adolph – 1/7/1966
  • Hogan gets word from his contacts that there will be a probing raid coming, and warns them of radio silence and not to attempt any escape during this time. He sends Labeau to scope the area of the raid, and he finds that they’ve set up a battery command in the Schmekhausen region that will surely smash the raid. Realizing that the raid is falling on the birthday of Adolf Hitler, Hoganbourg disguises himself as a German officer Hogan and meets with Major Keitel (Howard Caine) and tells him that he has been ordered to celebrate Hitler’s birthday with a party at the battery. Hoganbourg says he will relieve him of his duty so he can enjoy the party. Keitel calls to confirm with Colonel Schtimmel, but the call is intercepted by Newkirk and Kinchloe, and they confirm the orders. Hoganbourg suggest they use men from Stalag 13 to set up from the party. When Klink hears the reason for the request from Keitel, he is happy to let the prisoners go to clean up the post for the party. After they are done, several the men trick Schultz and stay behind and go to work on the weaponry while the artillery men and Keitel party with the women who Helga has arranged to show up. When the air raid commences, the Germans attempt to fire on them, but the cannons only put out flags wishing Adolf a happy birthday. Keitel tries to blame Klink for the sabotage, but he assures him that all of his men were accounted for. 12/24/20
• 018. The Gold Rush – 1/14/1966
  • When new prisoner Lt. Edward H. Martin (Tom Hatten) is brought to Stalag 13, Hogan and the men listen in to find out why his arrival was delayed. They learn that a truckload of gold stolen from the French is being transported to Dusseldorf, and that Schmidt and the prisoner were kept in Hammelberg by the gestapo until the gold bars were stored in the bank there temporarily. Hogan devises a plan to steal the gold, first by planting a phony map and instruction on the new prisoner to be found by Klink, indicating that Hammelberg was going to be bombed. Hogan plants the idea in Klink’s head that the gold could be safely stores onsite at the stalag, since Allied troops would never bomb there. They also saw apart Klink’s office stairs so that they collapse when Klink walks down them, then they offer to re-build the steps using bricks so that the termites can’t destroy them again. When the gold truck arrives with Major Krieger (Rick Traeger), Newkirk punctures its tire with a dart outside their building. Labeau and Newkirk then drug the coffee that Schmidt is delivering to the truck guards so they pass out. Newkirk and Carter pose at the guards and pass the gold inside, where it is painted red, while the bricks brought in from the stairs are plated with gold. The gold colored bricks are then returned to the truck, while the stairs are built with the gold bricks. Klink thanks Hogan and the men for building the stairs, while Kriger demands to search the stalag grounds for the gold. As the Germans search, Hogan sits and watches from the stairs, covering up an imperfection that would expose the gold. Pitt Herbert is one of the German guards. 12/25/20
• 019. Hello, Zolle – 1/21/1966
  • Col. Klink gets a visit from an old classmate of his, who is now General Hans Stofle (Gilbert Green), and has no problem rubbing in his superiority over Klink. However, he does suggest that Klink work side-by-side with him in combat, but Klink is quick to point out that his iron fist is needed at the camp. Hogan and his men use a listening device to find out who he is, and then report back to London. They advise Hogan to try and keep him there for 24 hours, as they are planning an assault, of which it will be easier to claim victory if he is not there. Meanwhile, the Gestapo led by Major Zolle (Gavin MacLeod) also show up at Stalag 13, believing there is something strange about any camp with such an immaculate record. He and his men comb the camp looking for tunnels, but the men manipulate two of his men, Steinder (Ramon Bieri) and Gunther (Horst Ebersberg) into a storage area and then abandon them there, while Zolle is searching in a tunnel below them. When Zolle comes up through the floorboard, thinking it is an escape hatch, the men knock him unconscious. Hogan discovers that Stofle has a mistress named Ingeborg (Britt Nilsson) with him, and then convinces Klink that she is Heinrich Himmler’s woman. In order to hide them from the Gestapo and keep himself out of trouble, Klink agrees to let them use his quarters, and allow Labeau to cater to them. Labeau tries to drug Stofle, but Ingeborg winds up drinking the sleeping pills. Hogan then tries a different plan, and convinces Stofle himself that Ingeborg is Himmler’s, and convinces him that he can escape unnoticed if he dresses as one of the P.O.W.s. Then, as Zolle is questioning who hit him, Hogan points out that a defector is escaping by hiding in Klink’s car. The Gestapo arrest Stofle and haul him out of the camp. Klink is furious with Hogan and threatens to put him in the cooler, but Hogan reminds him that with Stofle gone, he’ll not have to enter battle, and that the Gestapo is now gone as well, and he escaped unmolested. Klink sees his point, and lights his cigar for him. 4/19/21
• 020. It Takes a Thief… Sometimes – 1/28/1966
  • During a poker game, Hogan coerces Schultz to give him some secret information in exchange for credit to buy into the game, finding out that there have been quite a few acts of sabotage around the camp, and the perpetrators are suspected to be hiding out in a nearby barn. Hogan and his men make their way to the barn to find members of the underground Captain Heinrich (Michael Constantine), Wolfgang (Chris Anders), Michelle (Claudine Longet), and one other member. Hogan and Michelle become immediately attracted to each other and spend the night together. Upon return from the barn, the men listen into a conversation between Heinrich and Klink, and they learn that the men are double agents trying to find the real saboteurs who have seemingly blown up everything in a radius of the came except a railroad tunnel. Hogan meets with Heinrich again, and suggests that they blow up the walls of Stalag 13 to release the prisoners. Heinrich agrees and orders the Stalag to send fake dynamite with Hogan, and then be ready for the saboteurs in order to shoot them upon arrival. Unbeknownst to Heinrich or Klink, the prisoners replace the fake dynamite with real dynamite. Schultz plans to report them, but then fears the repercussions of his giving away military secrets. When Hogan and the men arrive back at the barn, Hogan tells them that he’s changed his mind and now wants to blow up the tunnel. Heinrich allows them to set up, and then plans to arrest them, but Michelle turns on him and tells Hogan that he is with the Gestapo. Still thinking that the dynamite is fake, Heinrich himself detonates it and blows up the tunnel. He then rushes to the camp to warn the men, but since they believe he is the saboteur, they shoot him on sight. Hogan offers to get Michelle refuge to sneak out of Germany through the underground movement. She asks him to come, but he says he cannot leave until after the war, knowing there is still work to be done. 4/19/21
• 021. The Great Impersonation – 2/4/1966
  • After successfully getting out of the camp and then bombing a German train, Newkirk, LeBeau, and Carter are captured by Gestapo officers and taken to the POW camp Stalag 4. Kinchloe who was with them evades being captured because he was up a tree and looking for the way back, since Carter had lost the compass. He returns with the news to Hogan, who quickly hatches a plan to get them back. They get into the phone lines so that Kinchloe can impersonate a Berlin Gestapo General by the name of Kinchmeyer, but Colonel Klink picks up the phone at the same time. Hogan then tells Sgt. Schultz about the three men, and warns Schultz that the men might report on him for all of the bribes he has accepted and information he has leaked. He is then onboard with assisting with the getting the men back, but when Hogan tells him the plan of having Schultz pose as Colonel Klink to get them, he decides he is to afraid to attempt such a thing. Hogan and Kinchloe then act as if they are paying off bribes to Schultz, so that he thinks his record will already be tarnished, and he would get sent to the Russian front if the men report on him. He finally agrees, so they tailor him the suit of an officer, and teach him to talk forcefully to Major Bernsdorf (Bert Freed) at Stalag 4. Schultz, posing as Klink, and Hogan show up at Stalag 4 and demand the prisoners as planned, but Bernsdorf refuse to comply since he has no written authorization. Just then Kinchloe makes a call to Bernsdorf and demands that the prisoners are released, so Bernsdorf complies. The Gestapo Captain (James Frawley) later shows up at Stalag 13 to look for the men, only to find that Klink, who was described as a tall, 300 pound man, was never at Stalag 4 and knows nothing. Hogan asks Klink if he thinks it could of been Schultz, but Klink finds it laughable. Hogan tells Schultz it would hurt him to lose some weight anyway. 8/14/21
• 022. The Pizza Parlor – 2/11/1966
  • While the men are making crepe suzettes in the barracks, Schultz stops in and tells the men that Italian Major Bonacelli (Hans Conried) is coming to Stalag 13 meet with Colonel Klink to learn how to run a P.O.W. barracks. Hogan reports this to the allied Submarine Captain (Harry Lauter), and knowing the friction between the Germans and Italians, vows to get information about the Italian city that the Allies are planning to invade in Capizzi. Meanwhile, Bonacelli tries to hijack his German driver (Bard Stevens) so he can desert and head to Switzerland. However an allied air raid scuttles his plan, his driver takes off to hide, and he is escorted by another group of Germans to the camp. Hogan meets him when he arrives and notes his indifference to the German food he is going to be served. The men decide to make him a pizza, but the Frenchman LeBeau doesn’t have any recipes. Prisoner Tony Garlotti (Joe E. Tata) says his father (Ernest Sarrancino) back in New Jersey runs Garlotti’s Pizzeria, so Kinchloe contacts the submarine, who contacts the Allies headquarters in London, where Captain Henders (Jack Good) and an ATS Sergeant (Elisa Ingram) calls Mr. Garlotti, and they relay the information from the pizzeria to Kinchloe and Hogan. Once they make the pizza, they lure Bonacelli into the barracks by singing Santa Lucia, and then feed him pizza if he promises to be their contact back in Italy. Every has a deal, but then his German driver resurfaces and reports Bonacelli as being a deserter. Klink locks him up, but Hogan is able to tunnel into his cell, and comes up with a plan to clear his name. Schultz reports to Klink that ten men along with Bonacelli have escaped. Klink is scared to death that he’ll be sent to the Russian front, but then the men are returned, apparently by Bonacelli, whose name is then cleared. He begins sending messages to Klink that contain coded messages for Hogan about conditions in Capizzi. 8/15/21
• 023. The 43rd, a Moving Story – 2/25/1966
  • Allied paratrooper Lynch (Hal Lynch) is dropped into the camp one night carrying explosives and detonator caps, along with instructions for Hogan’s men to attempt to destroy the 43rd mobile anti-aircraft battery currently stationed at Kaiserhof, where the allies intend to bomb a chemical plant. Before Newkirk and some of the other men can leave the camp disguised as German officers to perform the mission, a new Executive Officer Major Hans Kuehn (Sandy Kenyon) arrives and wants to meet Hogan. Kuehn seems to look down on Colonel Klink, and repeatedly throws it in his face that his Uncle Karl is a Field Commander. He notes that Hogan’s men have attempted 291 failed escape attempts, and is going to double the guards around the camp. This makes the mission against the 43rd nearly impossible. Hogan goes to work to use his reverse psychology instead, starting with having Lynch get caught in the camp in the back of Kuehn’s car. The officers interrogate him but come up with nothing. However, Hogan lets it slip in the presence of Klink and Kuehn that there is an impending air raid in Hammelburg. Klink wants to report this and advise the Germans to move the 43rd to Hammelburg, but Kuehn thinks it is a trick by Hogan. Then Hogan makes sure that Kuehn is in earshot when he tells his men that Red Cross rations will be delayed, but the men will be delighted with the reason. When Kuehn then finds out that the Red Cross trucks travel through Hemmelburg, he is convinced that Hogan was telling the truth after all. He reports that the 43rd battery should be moved to Hammelburg. The next day General Burkhalter shows up at the camp to tell Kuehn that thanks to him, the raid was a success for the Allied Troops, and threatens Kuehn with prison time. Kuehn tries to play his Uncle Karl card, but Burkhalter tells him that his uncle was inspecting the chemical plant at Kaiserhof at the time of the bombing. When Klink realizes that Lynch has escaped, Hogan tells him that he was never really a prisoner, suggesting that he came in with Kuehn and left with Kuehn, so he was likely a spy for Kuehn, and Klink swallows the explanation, keeping his record as zero prisoners escaped. 2/13/22
• 024. How to Cook a German Goose by Radar – 3/4/1966
  • Stalag 13 receives a new prisoner named Corporal Walter Tillman (J. Pat O’Malley), a crotchety older man, who is rude to the other prisoners and won’t share his American cigarettes. Although some of the men think he might be a planted spy, Hogan doesn’t think so, but because of his temperament, Hogan decides to get him transferred to another prison camp. Hogan and the other men light a trash can on fire outside the Klink’s office, and although they put it out immediately, Hogan blames the fire on Tillman, convincing Klink to have him transferred to Stalag 18. Shortly afterward, Tillman reveals to Hogan that he is actually General Tillman Walters. He explains that the Allies have been allowing the Germans to build rocket plants, and once they have used the materials and manpower to build them, they have been bombing them before they can produce any weapons. There is one of these installations 30 miles dead east of the camp, and Walters needs to plant a radar at the edge of the camp so that the bombers can find the plant and destroy it. Walters has the radar hidden in his cigarettes, and they need to install it on the top of a lookout tower. Hogan is able to delay Walters’ transfer by sabotaging the truck that Schultz was going to use. He then convinces Helga that she is ripe for Hollywood movies, and asks her to pose for some cheesecake photos for LeBeau. This distracts the guard in the tower long enough that Hogan can climb to the top and plant the radar. Not long before the bombers fly over, they realize that the radar may be off by about six inches, so Hogan tells Newkirk to throw a knife into one of the German car’s tires right outside the gate. He guides Klink into insisting that they change the tire they’ve destroyed. Hogan uses the jack to lift the entire tower and move it over by six inches, guiding the bombers to make a perfect sweep of the rocket installations. 2/14/2022
• 025. Psychic Kommandant – 3/11/1966
  • The wired microphone to Colonel Klink’s office stops working, and while Kinchloe works on fixing it, Hogan has the other men keep Schultz busy when he shows up for inspection by showing him a game of shells. Klink comes in and finds the gambling paraphernalia, but Hogan convinces him that it is an experiment they are working on based on the studies of German scientist Otto Von Tillerman on E.S.P. By having a bean under every shell, Hogan is able to convince Klink that he himself has E.S.P. Later Klink confines Hogan and his men to the barracks, because General Burkhalter is coming to see Klink. Unable to get the microphone fixed in time, the men decide to plant a walkie-talkie into Klink’s office, by purposely having one of the walkies inside Klink’s briefcase and hiding it in one of the barracks beds. When Schultz finds it during inspection, he decides to skip the punishment and just return it to Klink’s office. Hogan and the men overhear the conversation, which highlights a demonstration of a new airplane engine. After it flies over the camp, it is landed at the Stalag along with its inventor Herr Kintzler (Joseph Mell). Hogan and the men tunnel to the plane and steal its engine so they can take pictures and send them to the allies. When Klink and Burkhalter check the plane over, Klink realizes that the engine is missing and blames Hogan, who reminds him that they have been confined to barracks. The men force the engine back together in a lackluster fashion and are able to tunnel it back to the plane and return it into the plane. When the German brass show up to inspect the plane, the engine now fires and makes all kind of noise, so the Germans just drive off. Klink continues to maintain his E.S.P. gift and says he knew that the plane would be a failure, and now has ordered a book by Otto Von Tillerman. Hogan tells him that the book is very valuable, as the Nazis are burning all of Von Tillerman’s books in Berlin. 6/20/22
• 026. The Prince from the Phone Company – 3/18/1966
  • Hogan and his men have about fifteen men that they are working on smuggling out of the camp, but the issue is that they have no German currency for them to take since Hitler has recalled all of the old currency, which they have counterfeited, so they need a way to get some new money for the men to take with them. Schultz turns a blind eye when he sees the men smuggling the outgoing me to their underground area, and even offers to help trade in all the fake German money they have to get new currency. Just them, they all witness an air dogfight in the sky, and see an African Prince named Makabana (Ivan Dixon) parachute into the camp. It turns out he is planning for his country to build some submarine bases in his country to be used by the Germans. Klink takes in the prince and makes a plan to get him to Berlin. Hogan notices the similarities in appearance between the Prince and Kinchloe, so he has Kinchloe shave his mustache and pose as the prince. They knock out the actual Prince and make the switch, but Kinchloe as the Prince demands that they bring reps from Berlin to negotiate the submarine base. The Prince then claims that Hogan was an old friend from their college days in America, and they all take over Klink’s residence for the duration of the Prince’s stay. All seems like a piece of cake, until Klink tells the Prince that his wife is coming along with the German negotiator Count Von Sichel (Lee Bergere). However, when the wife, Princess Yawanda (Isabel Cooley), arrives, she pretends she sees no difference between the Prince and Kinchloe and helps him to not blow his cover. The Prince drives a hard bargain as they negotiate with Von Sichel, and as soon as it is settled and he gets the money, they turn it over to the fifteen escapees. The Prince – aka Kinchloe – starts to fall in love with the Princess, and before they part, they agree to meet in Toledo after the war ends. The real prince is held captive and vows revenge. The Princess is driven off the Stalag by Carter. Stewart Moss is the America Captain trying to leave the stalag.6/21/22
• 027. The Safecracker Suite – 3/25/1966
  • While Hogan is making requests from Colonel Klink for two slices of extra bread daily, a miniature golf course, and permission to bring in girls to the camp, all of which are denied, Kling receives a visit from his old friend Major Hans Kronman (Anthony Eustrel), but before he can state his business the Gestapo arrives and Captain Guenther (Booth Colman) arrests him for conspiring to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Kronman hands a key to Hogan before they take him away, where he is shot for attempting to escape. From the writing on the key, Hogan determines that it is to a safety deposit box in the Hamilburg Hof hotel. Hogan comes up with a plan to get into the box, and Newkirk knows a professional safecracker Alfred Burke alias Alfie the Artiste (Walter Burke), and they manage to get him released from prison and flown in by the RAF. Meanwhile, Hogan offers the key Klink, but the reminds him that having it might implicate him for being in cahoots with the assassination plot. Hogan offers to help him get the contests of the safe, which may also incriminate him, and return Klink agrees to lend a blind eye to anything unusual going on within the camp that relates to the operation. Alfred is successfully sneaked into the camp, but Schultz discovers him in the barracks. However, as promised, Klink doesn’t want to know anything about it. Klink provides a floor plan to the hotel for Hogan, and arranges to have a cocktail reception for the local officers at the hotel. Klink is a nervous wreck at the party, waiting for Hogan’s team to blow open the safe. They have a close call when Guenther arrives at the hotel. He takes a look around, but doesn’t find Alfie. Hogan’s men, posing as waiters, distract him by singing This Is the Army Mr. Jones. After the Guenther and the Gestapo leave, Alfred blows the safe and gets the envelope out of the box. After the party, Hogan delivers the list inside of men whom Kronman planned to visit. Klink agrees to Hogan’s request for two extra slices of bread, all Red Cross packages, delivered on time, and an extra weekly shower to get the paper. He is indeed at the top of the list, and he sets it on fire, then tells Hogan that all of the new privileges are cancelled. Hogan reminds him that may have a copy of the letter, so Klink reinstates the privileges. 10/12/22
• 028. I Look Better in Basic Black – 4/1/1966
  • Schultz surprised Hogan and his men when he moves all of the prisoners in barracks 3 into their barracks. By bribing Shultz with chocolate, Hogan finds out that they are moving three prisoners into that barracks, so Hogan surmises they most have some vital information and must be kept away from everyone else. When the prisoners are brought in by Captain Heinrich (Edward Knight), it becomes clear to both Hogan and Klink another reason why they must be separated: they are three women named Kathy Pruitt (Jean Hale), Charlene Hemsley (Jackie Joseph), and Ginger Wilson (Jayne Massey). No one wants to dig out the old tunnel to Barracks 3, until Hogan tells his men that the prisoners there are women. The men get the job done quickly, and Hogan makes his way to the barracks where he comes up through the floor. They tell him that they are dancers who were entertaining an infantry when they were attacked. They wound in an underground shelter surrounded by Germans and a storehouse of rockets. Newkirk and LaBeau also make their way to the barracks to woo the girls. They are caught by Shultz when he shows up at the barracks with a bottle of wine. Klink too comes to see the girls and finds everyone in the barracks. As he is disciplining them all, Heinrich shows up and throws them all out. He demands that the girls are transferred the next day. Kinchloe gets word to London about the hidden rockets and plans to bomb the rocket site. In order to keep the girls from facing repercussions, Hogan plans to sneak them out through the tunnels, but the tunnels experience a cave-in in the new section which will prevent them from helping them escape. Hogan then pokes fun at Klink by telling him that Heinrich is obviously in charge of the camp, and then puts the idea to send the girls to Berlin that night instead of the next day, simply so he can usurp Heinrich’s orders. However, he, Newkirk, and LaBeau dress up in their women’s clothes and go out in their place, the sneak out the girls, and have them go out in the dog truck the next day. The plan works, even though Schultz notices that it is the men dressed up as the girls as they leave. As they are heading to Berlin, the ‘girls’ feign illness and have the SS officers stop the truck, then beat them with their purses. After the girls are safely led out of the camp, Hogan visits Klink and asks for extra rations for Armistice Day, and also asks for an update on Heinrich. Klink tells him that he met with disgrace when he allowed the ‘girls’ to escape. NOTE: In the credits, Ginger Wilson is billed as ‘Ginger Flintrin’. 10/15/22
• 029. The Assassin – 4/8/1966
  • General Burkhalter shows up at Stalag 13 with the mysterious Dr. Vanetti (Larry D. Mann) and insists that Klink set him up with a quiet office in which to work. Hogan eavesdrop on his arrival and figures out from his background that he is an atomic scientist that is working on devising a bomb. Sgt. Schultz jokes about an assassin, one of General de Gaulle assassin was captured and is currently being held in Stalag 16, and that Hogan might consider asking to borrow him. Hogan sends LaBeau and Carter to sneak into Stalag 16 and help the assassin Garreaux escape back to Stalag 13, so he can assassinate Vanetti. On the way back, they are nearly stopped by the Stalag 13 guards, but it is only the assassin Garreaux who is caught. However, Colonel Crittendon was also at Stalag 16 and insisted on coming along. He volunteers to carry out the assassination himself. His weapon of choice is a crossbow, so Hogan heads over to Klink’s quarters to arrange to get Vanetti in front of the window. Hogan gets Klink to leave the room by telling him that there is an attempted escape going on. As soon as Klink leaves, Vanetti actually confesses that he is trying to get to England, as he does not want to turn over the secrets in his head regarding the building of an atomic bomb to the Germans. Crittendon still takes a shot at Vanetti, but Hogan tackles him to save him, and the arrow goes through Klink’s hat. Hogan convinces Klink that it is the Gestapo who is trying to kill him. Hogan tries to call off the assassination, but Crittendon wants to carry it out regardless, and has the men practicing detonating bombs in the underground tunnels. Hogan convinces Klink that this is also the Gestapo trying to kill him, so he recommends that Klink take Vanetti and go to Berlin in disguise for a while. He then sends Crittendon to leave in the car with Klink, although he is told that it will be Vanetti and that he should kill him. Klink believes it is Vanetti in disguise initially. After they have gone, Hogan sends the real Vanetti through the underground network to get him to London. Crittendon and Klink discover that each other is not Vanetti. Crittendon tries to escape but he is overtaken as bullets fire around him, which Hogan later reveals to the real Vanetti that they are actually blanks. Schultz discovers that Vanetti is gone, but when Hogan offers to tell him the truth, Schultz declares he wants to know nothing and see nothing. Hogan and Klink convince Burkhalter that Vanetti blew himself up while testing his bomb theories. Klink wants more explanations from Hogan, but when he offers to discuss it with Burkhalter present, Klink decides not to press it. 2/14/23
• 030. Cupid Comes to Stalag 13 – 4/15/1966
  • Hogan and the men are anxious to get Captain Ferguson (George Tyne) out of the stalag back into the underground to deliver them some installation maps, although he is enjoying his time in the cushy surroundings. As they attempt to sneak him out after lights-out one night, they are interrupted by Klink is pacing around outside and then comes to talk to Hogan about his personal fears about being a failure in his career and love life. He also expresses concern that Burkhalter is coming to talk about his future, which he is afraid means a transfer to the Russian front. However, when Burkhalter arrives with his rigid sister Gertrude Linkmyer (Kathleen Freeman) and her daughter Lottie (Inger Stratton), and then starts to tell Klink that he’d like to see him married. Klink believes that he wants him to marry Lottie and then being in his family will help advance his career.  This is making Klink so nervous that he keeps prowling the ground all night, making it impossible to sneak Fergurson out of the camp. Although Lottie thinks that Klink looks like a ‘dead fish’, Gertrude hasn’t made her mind up yet. Klink finds Lottie to be gorgeous, and he turns to Hogan to ask advice on how to win her over. Gertrude comes to scope out Klink, but he thinks she is doing it on behalf of her daughter, whom Gertrude claims doesn’t like him. Hogan gives Klink some things to say and ways to win over Lottie. He also speaks to Lottie and tells her how many awards Klink has received for his bravery and valor. Lottie changes her mind about Klink, but then reveals to Hogan and Schultz that it is her mother who wants to marry Klink. She interprets the invitation for dinner as being for her mother. Hogan doesn’t have the heart to tell Klink the truth, but when she shows up for dinner, Klink insists that Hogan stay with them. Hogan tells Gertrude that Klink has volunteered for the Russian front, causing her to call of the engagement as she doesn’t want to be a widow again. Finally, Klink says he’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep, which will enable Hogan and the men to get Captain Ferguson on his way. 2/14/23
• 031. The Flame Grows Higher – 4/22/1966
  • A P.O.W. named Captain Warren (Jerry Ayres) that had been on an escape route is brought into Stalag 13, accused of escaping Stalag 5. As he is sent to solitary confinement, LeBeau hides Schultz’s key so that Hogan can get some time to find out what happened with Warren along his route. He finds out that Warren made it to two of the checkpoint along his route, but then got captured after leaving the second one, a farmhouse of two elderly folks. Hogan suspects that there is a traitor helping the Gestapo, so he decides to take LeBeau and Newkirk along and travel the route themselves. In order to justify their absence, he has two men tunnel out ad plant smoke bombs, passing it off to Klink as a forest fire. He volunteers his men to help put out the fire, so Klink sends Schultz out to accompany them. When they get to location, the men drop another smoke bomb and then escape to the first checkpoint, a Kaiserhof inn run by two attractive girls named Eva (Susanne Cramer) and Margit (Hannie Landman). After exchanging passwords, LeBeau and Newkirk both try to romance Margit, while Hogan and Eva chat and kiss. She gets a phone call but says she cannot talk at the time. Hogan is suspicious of her, but she then sends them on to the second checkpoint, the farmhouse of the old couple Willie (Charles H. Radilak) and Jenny (Irene Tedrow). Hogan and the men return to Schultz, and while he is calling into Klink at Stalag 13, Hogan and the men steal the truck and head to the couple at the farmhouse. They claim to be aids to the P.O.W.s, but Hogan doesn’t trust them either, and then find Nazi SS uniforms in their closet. Hogan is then hit from behind by Willie which knocks him out. LeBeau and Newkirk then bust in and hold the couple at gunpoint. They still claim that they are enemies of the Gestapo and that they’ve helped many P.O.W.s to escape. They tell Hogan that they get the instructions where to send the men from Eva, who does in fact call and tells them to take the South road rather than the usual North road. Hogan then sees clearly that it is Eva and Margit who are the traitors. He has Newkirk phone the Gestapo headquarters using his German accent and tell them to head to the Kaiserhof to pick up escaped prisoners rather than sending men to the South road. Hogan and his men then return to the Kaiserhof and wait for the Gestapo. Schultz makes his way to the Kaiserhoff as well, so when the Gestapo agents show up, Hogan tells the officer (Todd Martin) that Schultz has already caught them and they are in the process of returning to Stalag 13. Hogan then thanks Eva and Margit for trying to help them, leading the Gestapo officer to believe they are double agents. The ladies are arrested and Schultz accompanies Hogan and the men back to Stalag 13. Schultz receives a commendation from General Hofstader for his work, but Hogan convinces Klink that it is for the job he did guarding the men while they put out the fire. Hofstader also asks Klink if a good man like Schultz should be transferred to a combat unit. Hogan makes it sound like he wants him to go. leading Klink to believe that Schultz should remain at Stalag 13 to thwart any of Hogan’s efforts. 7/22/23
• 032. Request Permission to Escape – 4/29/1966
  • Hogan gets word that a cigarette lighter has been smuggled into the camp in Klink’s car, so he and his men con Schultz into letting them wash it. When they find it taped under the distributor, they leave the job unfinished, leaving Schultz to get yelled at. They find a microfilm inside the lighter but believe it to be a decoy indicating the incorrect military base. Meanwhile, Carter gets a letter from his girlfriend Mary Jane back home indicating that she is leaving him for another man. Carter decides he needs to get back home, so he asks Hogan for permission to escape for good and return home. LeBeau offers to take him to Paris to introduce him to girls. Newkirk beats him at gin and implies he can’t leave while he is in debt to him for $105,000. Helga tries to flirt with him. None of these efforts to get him to stay work, so Hogan tells Klink that there might be an escape attempt, so Klink tells everyone that if any one man tries to escape, their entire barracks will be punished as well. Even Schultz tries to talk him out of escaping by telling him that he might be sent to the Eastern Front if he escapes. Hogan finally tells Carter that he has permission to escape. Hogan comes up with an idea to have one of the men get caught out of the barracks with the microfilm so that it will get into the hands of the German, who will be misled about the next target of the Allies. When no man will volunteer for the job, Carter steps up and volunteers, telling Hogan that he will put off his escape until after his 30 days in the cooler for escaping. Carter gets out and heads to Hilda’s Hofbrau and tries to surrender himself to a German Private (William Christopher), but he is on his first leave and doesn’t want to be bothered. He then tries to surrender to a Captain (John Crawford), but they think he is an undercover Gestapo agent trying to test them to see if they’ll sell information. A real Gestapo Officer (Martin Blaine) comes in checking everyone’s papers, but the captain tips him off that Carter works for the Gestapo himself. Even after checking his papers, the Gestapo Officer believes he is Gestapo in disguise. A Norwegian waitress named Mady (Mary Mitchel) offers to help Carter and advises him to return to his camp and get a good night’s rest. The Gestapo offers to give him a lift back to camp. Along the way, the officer finally figures out that Carter really is an escaped prisoner. He returns him to Klink at Stalag 13 and puts him in the cooler for 30 days. When he asks for his lighter back, the Gestapo agent finds the microfilm and sends it to Berlin, rendering the mission successful. Later, Hogan gets Klink to let him out of the cooler early by threatening to involve the Red Cross. Carter appears to finally be escaping, but he is actually only going to see his new love interest Mady. 7/22/23

SEASON 2

• 033. Hogan Gives a Birthday Party – 9/16/1966
  • Two RAF pilots, Lt. Karras (Peter Marco) and Lt. Hardy (L.E. Young) are shot down trying to shoot a refinery at Stuttheim. When Schultz tries to sneak around the barracks to see what the men are planning, he finds the map, but causally mentions that he would bomb Stuttheim himself if he could, Hogan gets the idea to make it look like the Germans destroyed the refinery. To put the plan in motion, Hogan goes to see Col Klink and make him believe that one of his peers has been promoted to become General entirely because he had been performing experiments to prove that Germans were superior. He decides to establish himself as a scientific tester trying to prove that the Luftwaffe are superior to the Allied fliers. He sets up a testing area with the cooperation of Berlin, who plans to send a Bomber General named Biedenbender (James Gregory) and a bomber plane. Kinchloe takes photos of the bomber mock-ups so that Hardy and Karras to learn to fly the German bombers. Carter builds several bombs for them to take along. When Biedenbender arrives, he proves that he has been studying Colonel Hogan, and even reveals that it is Hogan’s birthday. He also reveals his studies of Hogan’s tactical planning was what caused him to be caught and sent to the camp. He has been keeping an eye on him ever since, and correctly surmises that the bomber research had been suggested to Klink by Hogan, and that Hogan’s ultimate plan was to steal the airplane and escape to England. Hogan admits that he has been beaten and congratulates Biedenbender. Hogan invites Biedenbender to their prison barracks to celebrate the Germans’ victory. Biedenbender predicts this will be part of a new plan, so he invites Hogan to come to Klink’s quarters to celebrate his birthday. They invite Fraulein Hilda (Sigrid Valdis) as well. At the party, Biedenbender tells them all that he plans to leave that night, since he knows Hogan will cook something up for the next day. He orders Schultz to summon his troops to meet him at his plane. As Schultz is leaving, Hogan requests that Schultz walk him back to his barracks, and then tells him to not summon the men after all, threatening to come clean to Biedenbender with all of his schemes. Schultz agrees to do whatever he says if he will keep his mouth shut. Hogan then gathers his men and head for the plane themselves, bringing Schultz along as well. Hilda accompanies Biedenbender back to his plane, and Karras and Hardy then pull him on board and hold him prisoner. The men pilot the plain over the Stuttheim refinery and bomb it. Hogan and his men all parachute out of the plane, forcing Shultz to do the same, while Karras and Hardy fly Biedenbender back to England. Klink is incredulous that it appears that Biedenbender left in his plane by himself, shot Stuttheim, and then defected to England. Klink asks Schultz why he never gathered Biedenbender’s men, but Hogan interrupts and tells him that Biedenbender had rescinded the order. 11/20/23
• 034. The Schultz Brigade – 9/23/1966
  • When Hogan and the guys catch Schultz putting up propaganda to convince the Allied powers to join the Germans in the Luftwaffe, Hogan threatens to get Germans to defect to England and form a fighting force that he will have named the Schultz Brigade. Meanwhile, Colonel Klink meets up with Kommandants from Stalags 10 and 19, Colonel Burmeister (Parley Baer) and Colonel Bussie (Lou Krugman) to conspire to air grievances about General Burkhalter to the Gestapo. Once he is removed from his post, one of them can expect to be promoted to replace him as General. Klink seems reluctant since he considers Burkhalter his best friend and almost married his sister. Hogan eavesdrop on the conversation and finds this out but wants to put a stop to it because Klink has been an easy Kommandant to pull the wool over his eyes. General Burkhalter then shows up and calls out their plans since he has been tracking the movements of the three of them visiting each other. He demands to see which one of the three will save his own skin by informing on the others. Klink jumps at the chance to sell out his two colleagues, and he admits the plot and passes blame to the other two. Burkhalter tells them that will all face trial and then will be shot. Hogan goes to see Klink and tells him that he will testify on his behalf that he is innocent. However, when Klink convinces Burkhalter to allow him to call Hogan as a witness, Hogan betrays him and pretends to know nothing, so Burkhalter sentences all three Kommanants to be shot. Hogan then goes to see Burmeister and Bussie and talks them into defecting to England to save their lives. Hogan then goes to see Klink in prison and tells him that Burmeister and Bussie have escaped and plan to shoot Burkhlater and Klink. Hogan gives Klink a gun with blanks and keeps one for himself. He dresses up Newkirk and Carter in German uniforms and masks. They then go to kidnap Burkhalter and tell him that Klink is innocent, and they plan to shoot him and take over his position. They then have a mock shootout, with Newkirk and Carter posing as the German Kommandants shooting at Klink, Schultz, and Hogan. They then ‘rescue’ Burkhalter, leaving him thinking that he misjudged Klink. Burkhalter tells Klink that he wants Hogan severely punished for not giving him accurate information. Now with everyone on their tail, Burmeister and Bussie are more than ready to defect to England. Hogan gives them their instructions and tells them to start organizing the Schultz Brigade when they arrive. Klink asks Hogan to give him some ideas of how to make sure that his date with Burkhalter’s sister doesn’t get too serious, even taking away his thirty days in the cooler. Hogan tells him to say that he’s in a plot against Hitler. 11/23/23
• 035. Diamonds in the Rough – 9/30/1966
  • The prisoners of Stalag 13 talk Schultz into letting a milkmaid named Myra (Ulla Stromstedt) in the camp to sell her milk. She puts a message into Carter’s cup and tells him to give it to Colonel Hogan. The message indicates that he should meet someone named Robinson Crusoe, which he believes could be a commando that landed nearby and is now lost. Despite being somewhat skeptical that he hadn’t heard from the London Underground first, Hogan decides to meet Crusoe. It turns out to be a trap, and he and his men are caught by Major Hegel (Paul Lambert), who knows all about Hogan’s underground operations, along with the tunnels, the London communications, and the attempts to undermine the Germans. He threatens to have everyone shot unless they can give him a million dollars’ worth of diamonds, so that he can escape to Switzerland. He tells Hogan that one of the POWs they recently used named Sgt. Williams had actually worked for the Gestapo and has revealed all of their operation to him. Hogan sends a message to London requesting the diamonds, but they respond by asking him if he is nuts. Since Hogan knows that Hegel is likely monitoring his communication, he sends a separate secret request to get fake diamonds in their place. Then he tells Klink that he is being bribed by Hegel for the diamonds in exchange for Hegel helping him and his men escape, and that Hegel would then blame Klink. Since Klink is suspicious of what Hogan is telling him, Hogan arranges to have Klink order some roadwork outside the camp and then pose as a guard so that he can overhear Hogan’s conversation with Hegel. Hogan has Myra get the word to Hegel to meet him. When he arrives, Hogan and Hegel sit in his car with Klink just within earshot so that he can hear Hegel admit to accepting the diamonds, and also telling Hogan that he is willing to kill Klink if he has to come in and kill Hogan and his men. With Klink disguised as a guard, Schultz takes great delight in bossing him around. LeBeau and Carter pick up the diamonds that are dropped by the London allies. He arranges a meeting in a barn at the camp, while Klink assembles his men to surround the barn to arrest Hegel. After Hogan gives Hegel the fake diamonds, Hegel turns on them and tells them he is going to have Klink blow up the barn with them in it. He also reveals that Myra is dead. However, when Hegel goes outside, Klink has his men fire on him. After the chaos, Klink and Hogan are questioned by a German inspector about what had occurred. Hogan tells him that he and his men were trying to escape and Hegel pursued him into the barn. Klink, supposedly not knowing that Hegel was in the barn, opened fire and accidentally killed Hegel. The inspector says that it was an obvious accident of war and tells Hogan he plans to take him to Berlin for further questioning. Klink objects and says that Hogan’s crimes were against Stalag 13 and he wants to keep him and punish him there, and the inspector agrees. Klink tells Hogan that he’s the biggest liar he’s ever met in his life. 3/28/24
• 036. Operation Briefcase – 10/7/1966
  • Kinchloe gets a message from London that they are doing an airdrop of an individual named Hercules (Barry Ford), who they are to bring into the camp and await further instruction. Meanwhile, Col. Klink tells the men that they are receiving an inspection from General Stauffen (Oscar Beregi) and that the men are to be on their best behavior. Hogan sends Kinchloe and Newkirk out that night to meet him, but his plane is shot down. Before Hercules dies, he tells them that General Stauffen is working with the London Underground to assassinate Hitler. Hercules has brought a briefcase equipped with a bomb that Stauffen will swap with his own, and then use to kill Hitler. When Stauffen arrives with his assistant Major Gunther (Willard Sage), he arranges for a meeting with Hogan. That night, the men keep Schultz busy with a roulette wheel, while Carter keeps a guard (Peter Hellman) busy helping Carter looking for his missing mouse Felix. Kinchloe and LeBeau smuggle the bomb briefcase to Stauffen and the switch is made. Unfortunately, when Stauffen leaves the next morning to meet with Hitler, Schultz accidentally triggers the bomb, which will explode thirty minutes after its trigger. Stauffen gets out of the camp before Hogan can stop him, so he has Carter and LeBeau pretend to escape. Just after Stauffen presents Klink with his commedation citation for the condition of the camp, along with the fact that no one has ever escaped, Hogan tells Klink that two of his men have escaped. He convinces Klink to have all checkpoints put up roadblocks, and then send Schultz to search for the escapees. Hogan convinces Klink to let him go along to make sure that Schultz doesn’t shoot the men. Stauffen and Gunther are stopped at a checkpoint by a sentry (Chris Anders) who will not let them pass. As Gunther threatens to pull rank, Hogan arrives with Carter and LeBeau hidden in the back, and tells Stauffen about the bomb, closing up the briefcase and diffusing it before it explodes. Stauffen is grateful to Hogan for saving his life and promises to eliminate Hitler. Hogan then has his men reappear so that they can take them back to camp. Although Klink wants to throw the escapees into the cooler for 30 day, Hogan talks him into reducing the sentence to ten days. Schultz brings the news that an attempt was made to kill the Fuhrer with a timebomb. Eddie Firestone is Sgt. Wilson, who pronounces Hercules dead. 3/28/24
• 037. The Battle of Stalag 13 – 10/14/1966
  • An agent named Greta (Janine Gray) from the Hammelburg Underground comes for a visit to Stalag 13 in order to chastise Hogan for being so successful in his sabotage efforts, which have led the Gestapo to increase the interrogation of the Hammelburg citizens. Hogan understands the concern and invites Greta to stay to avoid the pressure, but she chooses to return to the underground. Meanwhile, Hogan hears that the Wehrmacht faction of the Germans plans to move out many of the prisoners from Stalag 13 in order to house retired officers in order to protect them from enemy fire. Hogan meets Wehrmacht officer General von Kattenhorn (Jacques Aubuchon) to warn him that such activities are against the Geneva convention. While they are in Klink’s office discussing this, the Stalag also gets a visit from Gestapo Colonel Feldkamp (Howard Caine) who wants to take over the Stalag as a base to investigate the sabotage activity in Hammelburg. Seeing this as an opportunity to sew discord between the two German factions, Hogan has two of his men dressed as Gestapo Nazis steal von Kattenhorn’s car. He commandeers Klink’s car but blames Feldkamp for the incident. Later, Hogan hears that Feldkamp has started his inquiries of the citizens of Hammelburg, so he and his men dress like members of the Wehrmacht, wear masks, and break in on the interrogation. The perform a mock execution of the Wehrmacht soldiers and then steal Feldkamp’s car. Colonel Klink winds up in the middle of this dispute, as von Kattenhorn gets word that Feldkamp is assembling his troops to attack him and wants to use the prisoners of Stalag 13 to do battle with him. Feldkamp shows up at Stalag 13, and as he and von Kattenhorn arguing, each of them also accusing Klink of siding with the other man, Hogan comes in and tells them that he has located both of their cars in the recreation hall. Both men leave with their cars, vowing to investigate this further and return with vengeance on Colonel Klink. As Klink laments his fate, Hogan tells him to put his fingers in his ears, which is followed by the sound of each car blowing up. Klink insists that Hogan knew that it was going to happen, but Hogan simply remind him how much neater it will look on his report to Berlin that von Kattenhorn and Feldkamp double-crossed each other. Later, as Hogan and his men are processing Greta and the Hammelburg citizens with money and new identity and informant papers, Hogan and Greta are kissing in the other room. 8/19/24 
• 038. The Rise and Fall of Sergeant Schultz – 10/21/1966
  • When a long-time member of the underground named Becker is captured by the Gestapo, London gets word to Hogan for them to arrange a rescue mission. Newkirk and Carter are dressed as Nazis and sent to meet with the Gestapo officer (Edward Knight) where Becker is being held. Although they have the necessary papers that are signed by Colonel “Hoganmeyer”, the officer will not release him as he has word to only release him with written instruction from the Reich’s Fuhrer Mueller. London is not happy that the mission has failed and instructs Hogan to make a second attempt. Meanwhile, Schultz tells them that there will an inspection from a new General Kammler (Whit Bissell) and that they should be prepared. To everyone’s surprise when Kammler arrives, he recognizes Schultz from the time they spend together in the first World War and recalls that Schultz had once saved his life. Kammler insists that Klink give Schultz every possible consideration and requests that he give him periodic updates on how he is doing. According to Kammler’s assistant Colonel Franz (Laurie Main), Kammler is a favorite of Hitler himself, so Klink has no choice but to comply. Klink does his best to maintain his composure while offering Schultz special treatment, including a cigar from his personal stash. Schultz starts to live up to his new role and roughly takes charge of the other officers in the stalag. Hogan then stages a breakout attempt by LeBeau, who feigns going crazy and trying to run out of the camp, only to keep running into Schultz’s giant body. Hogan tries to convince Klink that Schultz acted heroically to stop LeBeau, but Klink is utterly unimpressed. However, Hogan is convinced that he can get on the good side of General Kammler if he offers Schultz a reward of commendation and then invites Kammler to come deliver it himself during a party at the local hotel. Not so coincidentally, the hotel is the location where Becker is being held. Klink finally sees the value in this, so he arranges it all, using Hogan’s men as the wait staff. Kammler presents Schultz with the Iron Cross award for bravery. After the presentation, Hogan’s men start flashing the lights and then start a fire in the hotel. During the confusion of trying to get it put out, during which Klink is doused with a bucket of water, Hogan’s men manage to get Becker out of the hotel and leave with him. Once the dust is settled and Kammler sees that all of the POWs are gone and Becker has disappeared, he relieves Klink of his command. Hogan then stages it to appear as if Schultz, who by now is drunk and nearly passed out, has captured the POWs at gunpoint. Later, Klink gets word that Kammler has been transferred to the Eastern front. Klink is ready to heap his abuse on Schultz again, but Hogan reminds them both that Schultz can still write to his friend, who is still a bigwig in the eyes of Berlin. Klink reconsiders and treats Schultz much softer manner again. 8/19/24
• 039. Hogan Springs – 10/28/1966
  • London sends orders to Hogan to snatch four members of the underground from German soldiers to get them safely back to a British submarine. Hogan’s men hold up a car containing a British operative named Sparrow (Sidney Clute) and then sneak them into Stalag 13 using Oscar Schnitzer’s guard dog transport. They plan to hide them in the camp until the Germans are no longer searching for them, but when they get back into their underground bunker, they find that a water line has rusted through, and the water is blocking an important tunnel that they would be using to get the men out. The men get to work to plug the leak, but it only causes a small geyser to come up in the yard. When Klink sees it, Hogan tries to tell him that he thinks it is a mineral spring and can detect the smell of Sulphur in it. Klink is suspicious and wants a guard posted around it and for samples to be taken of the water so that it can be tested by a chemist. Thankfully, he does not order that the ground be dug into, as the tunnel would surely be discovered. Hogan has Carter create two bottled samples of mineral water, and then they manage to swap them for the actual samples by feeding Schultz jellybeans to occupy him. Hogan suggests to Klink that they pump the water into a bath house and that he sends a sample of the mineral water to Hitler and then try to sell it by the bottle. Schultz would not dream of sending anything to Hitler without consulting General Burkhalter first and inviting him to inspect the springs. He shows up at Stalag 13 and helps dedicate the bath house, and then the officers relax in the baths while Schultz stands on guard duty outside. Hogan then offers the officers a steam bath and puts towels over their heads while his men steal their uniforms from the bath house. Sparrow and his underground men then put on the uniforms and use Burkhalter’s car to escape the camp. While Kinchloe keeps Schultz busy by feeding him more jellybeans, the other men serve Klink and Burkhalter a meal in the bathtubs, followed by cigars and drinks. Eventually, the officers get impatient and want to leave the bath house and then discover that their uniforms are missing. Schultz gets the blame from Klink, while Klink gets the blame from Burkhalter. However, they get back with the car and the uniforms just in the nick of time, and Hogan tells the men that they had their uniforms cleaned and pressed. Later, Klink tells Hogan that Burkhalter agreed to let him send the water to the Fuhrer. Hogan has the bottles of water gift-wrapped and helps Klink write the card. 12/16/24
• 040. A Klink, a Bomb and a Short Fuse – 11/4/1966
  • Hogan and his men have gotten their hand on the new Code Book G, and Carter takes photos of the pages before Klink realizes it is gone. He orders Schultz to search the men to find the book, but Newkirk manages to plant it back into Klink’s pocket. Just when General Burkhalter shows up, Schultz finds the book on Klink. Unfortunately, Carter realizes that there was no film in the camera, but Hogan still commits to getting photos of the code book to transmit to headquarters. Meanwhile, Burkhalter tells Klink that he might not be at Stalag 13 much longer, as their intelligence have monitored Allied transmissions coming out of Germany and believe that they might be coming from Stalag 13. Burkhalter and one of his men have an Electronic Signal Finding Device, and it seems to point to Hogan’s barracks. Klink sends Schultz ahead to warn Hogan to get rid of any transmitter that he might have before Burkhalter can make it to the barracks. Although Schultz is out of breath and cannot speak, Hogan sees them coming with the tracking device and gets Kinchloe to stop broadcasting before they arrive. Therefore, it looks like the finding device had been pointed to the coffee maker in his footlocker. Now that Klink has locked his code book in the safe, and there is an electronic signal device in the stalag, Hogan has two problems to solve. First, he poses as a sausage maker in the village named Ludwig Linkmeyer and phones General Burkhalter and tells him that he found a code book. Burkhalter assumes it must be Klink’s, so he calls and demands that Klink checks to make sure he has the code book in a safe spot. With the code book now out of the safe, Hogan visits Klink and tells him how much the men think of him and admire him. He asks Klink if they might be able to take some photos of him for their lockers and to send home in their letters. When Klink agrees, LeBeau holds up the code book behind Klink and rifles through the pages as Carter snaps photos of it. That night, as bombs are being dropped near the camp, Hogan gets the idea to build a fake bomb to distract everyone’s attention away from the tracking device so that they can transmit the photos. Klink, Burkhalter, and Schultz later find the bomb in the yard halfway into the ground. Hogan says that he can disarm it in exchange for allowing them to have a movie and ice cream weekly, and the leeway to be an hour late to fall-in every morning. Burkhalter is quick to agree to this, and orders Klink and Schultz to help him diffuse the bomb, while he leaves the camp. Inside the barracks, Kinchloe notifies the other men that the fake bomb is stuck in the tunnel with Carter due to a collapse. Therefore, Hogan is working on diffusing a real bomb, which is also located right over Carter, who is also transmitting the pictures. Kinchloe notifies Hogan of this, making the situation all the more grave. After Hogan works on the bomb for a while, he comes down to two wires, one black and one white. One of them will diffuse the bomb and the other will ignite it. Hogan asks Klink which one he would cut, and then Hogan cuts the opposite one, which diffuses the bomb. He tells Klink that he knew he’d pick the wrong one. 12/16/24

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