The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Davis, Bob Schiller, Bob Weiskopf, and Lucille Ball.

The series is based on the book “Life Without George” by Irene Kampen. 

Theme music composed by Wilbur Hatch

• 001. Lucy Waits Up for Chris  – 10/1/1962
  • Widow Lucy Carmichael (Lucille Ball) lives in Danfield, New York, with her two children Chris (Candy Moore) and Jerry (Jimmy Garrett), and her divorced friend Vivian Bagley (Vivian Vance) and Viv’s son Sherman (Ralph Hart). 14-year-old Chris is planning to go out on a date with an older boy named Alan Harper (Tom Lowell) who drives. Lucy is nervous about the arrangement and tries to get them to stay in and watch TV, but hey insist on going to the movies. As Lucy’s imagination runs wild, she pulls Chris in the house the minute they pull up… only to learn that Alan’s parents were in the back seat. Feeling bad at her faux pas, she arranges for Alan to take her out again, and also promises not to wait up for her. When the kids come home early, Lucy sneaks outside so that she isn’t caught breaking her promise. She ends up locked out while the kids make cocoa in kitchen. Using a trampoline, she bounces up to Viv’s second story window and gets her to unlock the front door. However the kids come out of the kitchen, so she returns to the trampoline and jumps into Viv’s window. Chris comes looking for her mom and Viv tells her that she went out for the evening. Lucy then has to exit the window back onto the trampoline… but spends so long chasing her dog Tiger, who has run off with Viv’s shoe, that she misses Chris who has already gone to bed. 6/5/18 

• 002. Lucy Digs Up a Date – 10/8/1962
  • There’s a dance coming up and neither Lucy nor Viv have been able to find dates. When Lucy meets Jerry’s teacher Henry “Old Man” Taylor (William Windom) to discuss his failing grades in arithmetic, she finds him younger and more attractive than expected. Lucy tries to figure out if he is married, by first checking to see if he’s wearing a ring, and then when that is inconclusive, trying to look at his driver’s license by spilling cream on his jacket and then searching it. Once she figures out he is single, she asks him to be her escort and he accepts. After he leaves, Lucy discovers that she still has Henry’s drivers license. She sneaks into his room at the YMCA and has Viv call for him to come to the lobby to explain a math problem… but she gets stuck in the closet when roommate Tom Bennett (Robert Rockwell) comes into his room to use his typewriter. She puts on his fencing outfit to sneak out, but winds up in the midst of fencing lesson with Henry’s instructor (Vito Scotti). When she is caught, she is forced to take Viv as a ‘hostage’ and fence her way out of the Y. Later Lucy and Henry head out on the date with Viv and Henry’s roommate Tom. Just then Viv’s other potential date Eddie Collins (Donald Briggs) and his friend Charley show up to court them, followed by Lucy’s other date that initially turned her down, Harry Conners (Dick Martin) and his friend Stan Williams (James Gonzalez), who also hope to take them out. 6/5/18
• 003. Lucy Is a Referee – 10/15/1962
  • Jerry and Sherman are upset that they have no referee for their football league, which could potentially cost them the winner’s prize of getting to go see an professional game. Lucy volunteers to step in, and after learning some of the basics from Harry, she is able to convince the boys that she would make a worthwhile referee. After some initial problems with losing the coin for the toss, and getting buried in pile of boys, she commits the ultimate sin by interfering in the game and keeping the opposing team from tackling Jerry. After their team is disqualified, the boys are mortified. Lucy then offers to take both teams to see the pro game, but when they are getting ready to leave, they find that they are snowed in due to a blizzard. She instead has them stay over and watch the game on TV. After an exhausting evening feeding them all, she finds that the roads are all closed down, so she has to have them all spend the night. They take up so much room in the house that Lucy is forced to sleep in the bathtub. Viv interrupts her in the middle of the night about the huge pillow fight downstairs, and she gets doused by the shower in trying to get out of the tub. Dennis Rush is Tony Lawrence. Roy Rowan is the radio announcer. The other boys are members of The Mighty Mites of the Venice Athletic Club. Lucie Arnaz and Desi Arnaz Jr. appear uncredited as spectators. 9/25/18
• 004. Lucy Misplaces $2000 – 10/22/1962
  • Lucy and Viv are struggling with their diets, when Lucy receives a letter from her bank’s president Mr. Barnsdahl (Charles Lane) that she overdrawn her account by $2.15. She goes to the bank to handle it but is so off-put by Barndahl’s rude comments about the bank never makes mistakes, that she decides to close her account and withdrawal her $20. The bank secretary Miss Thomas (Sandra Gould) gives her a check, but accidentally makes it out for $2000. Lucy decides to teach Barnsdahl a lesson and cashes the check, intending to return it if he admits the bank makes mistakes too. She hides the money at home in a box of chocolates disguised as a book. Sherman discovers the chocolates, and Harry, thinking he is helping along the ladies’ diets, tells the boys to take the candy to the carnival and hand them out. Barnsdahl angrily comes looking for the money, and when Harry admits to what he did, they all head to the carnival. The boys admit to having thrown the empty box off the Ferris Wheel, so they begin looking for the four $500 bills. Lucy retrieves one from under a heavy woman (Reta Shaw) with a little bratty daughter named Katie (Katie Sweet), while Harry has to fight a paper picker (Murvyn Vye) who has picked one up and put it in his bag of trash. Barnsdahl finds one as well on a woman’s shoe in the Tunnel of Love, but the last one is being stood upon by an elephant. After several attempts to move the animal, they leave Barnsdahl to deal with retrieving the final bill. Tom McDonough is the bank guard. 9/27/18
• 005. Lucy Buys a Sheep – 10/29/1962
  • Lucy doesn’t want to grass, and no one in the house wants to help with it either, so instead of paving the lawn, Lucy decides to buy a sheep that will eat the grass. They visit sheep farmer Mr. Evans (Parley Baer) and pick out one of the leaders, take her home, and name her Clementine. The briefly consider buying more sheep and renting them to neighbors who like the idea, but then quickly have to deal with where Clementine will sleep when it begins snowing outside. They bring her in the house, but all through her first night she bleats and keeps them up, despite Lucy’s efforts to sing to and rock her to sleep. That night Lucy and Viv sneak Clementine back onto Mr. Evans’ farm. The next morning, Mr. Barnsdahl, who objected to the purchase of the sheep, visits and tells them that he has a friend named Mr. Vincent (Eddie Quillan) who will pay $200 to photograph the sheep for an advertisement. Lucy and Viv then sneak back to retrieve Clementine, although at first they have trouble identifying her. When Mr. Vincent comes to take his pictures, they find that Jerry and Sherman have shaved the sheep in order to sell it’s wool. 6/23/19
• 006. Lucy Becomes an Astronaut – 11/5/1962
  • Lucy and Viv attend a luncheon hosted by their old Navy WAC commanding officer Jane Corey (Nancy Culp), who is recruiting women for the space program for NASA. Viv has an especially hard time fitting in her old uniform, and after lunch she can barely move. Lucy attempts to help her by stretching her out, and they end up accidentally volunteering for a compatibility test where they will spend 24 hours in a simulated space module. Viv gets claustrophobic right away, but Lucy won’t let her push the ‘chicken switch’ to be let out, even when they are forced to live on tubes of food, and Viv gets caught in the wall bed. After successfully completing the mission, Lucy gives an interview to a local paper and states she would be honored to be the first woman in space. Viv gets tired of her big head, and decides to recruit Harry to play a trick on her, and has him call and tell her to report to Cape Canaveral for her first mission, and also borrows a space suit for her to wear. Lucy gets gradually more and more nervous about the mission to the delight of Viv and Harry, but when Jane calls and asks if the practical joke worked, Lucy is now onto the gag, and gives a heartfelt speech about how much she appreciates Viv and for her to take care of her kids if something happens. Viv is taken in by the moment and pleads with her not to go, but Harry reminds her that it was all a joke anyway. Now out of harm’s way, Lucy returns to her patriotic mode, stating what an honor it would have been to be selected for the real mission. 6/23/19
• 007. Lucy Is a Kangaroo for a Day – 11/12/1962
  • Lucy is trying to gather $75 so she can buy Jerry the bicycle he wants for his birthday. Viv doesn’t have it to lend her, and Mr. Barnsdahl refuses to advance her money on her allowance since it is so stipulated in her late husband’s will. Barnsdahl suggests that she get a part-time job in order to raise the money, and agrees to recommend her to a a colleague named Mr. Irwin (John McGiver) since she claimed she graduated at the top of her secretary school years ago. Irwin’s secretary Miss Massey (Majel Barrett) introduces her to all of the new electric equipment, before leaving for vacation for a week. She struggles with the pencil sharpener, intercom, and electric typewriter as Irwin dictates a note to her. She has even more trouble with the water cooler, and has to drink multiple cups of water to keep it from leaking on the floor. When Irwin catches her and winds up doused in water, he considers firing her on the spot, but she cries to him and tells him she needs to earn money for the bicycle. He gives her instructions to go to an office to pick up some contracts and bring them him at the Cavalier Restaurant where he will be having lunch with Mr. Madison. Before she runs the errand, she goes and buys the bicycle, but when the clerk (Norman Leavitt) takes it down in an elevator, it gets caught on her dress and unravels it completely. Down to her slip, she is forced to wear a kangaroo costume she finds at the toy store to the restaurant. The maitre d’ (Sid Gould) informs her that he wants her to wait so that he can run the signed contracts to another location, she she enjoys a bowl of onion soup in her kangaroo outfit. When Irwin arrives and startles her, she spills the soup down her pouch, destroying the contracts. Irwin lets her go but gives her a week’s salary so he didn’t have to see a grown kangaroo cry. Lucy hides the bike at home, but Jerry finds it immediately and rides it around the house, while Lucy declares her day a success. 2/28/20
• 008. Lucy the Music Lover – 11/19/1962
  • Lucy’s friend Audrey Simmons (Mary Jane Croft) sets up Lucy on a blind date with a doctor named Sam Eastman (Frank Aletter). Before the date, she runs into Audrey and Sam at the record store, where she is picking up a Bobby Darin album for Chris. Sam tells Lucy that he loves classical, but is not much for popular music. Lucy has a few successful dates with him but often nearly falls asleep during the concerts they see. She also tries to pick up the violin again but when she plays for Viv, she can barely scratch out a screeching rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. She tells Viv that Sam has agreed to play violin at the Children’s Hospital charity concert for the Women’s Club that she is arranging. Lucy invites Sam over to meet her ‘music loving’ family, and erects several composer busts around the house, puts Jerry in a Beethoven sweatshirt, has Chris enter playing a tambourine, and has Sherman dance his way ballet-style into the room. She and Viv also play a game where Viv plays a number on the piano and Lucy guesses what it is. However when Sam wants to duet with Viv using his violin, Lucy begins to get jealous of them. Two hours later, Lucy declares war on Viv to compete for Sam’s affections. As they crowd him on the piano bench, Lucy accidentally smashes his hand in the piano lid, causing him to cancel his appearance at the charity concert. Lucy suggest they play together, with her hand coming through the stage curtain and doing the bowing while he fingers it with his left hand. She has difficulty in maneuvering the bow into the correct location, and their rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star sounds nearly as bad as it did when she played it solo. Susan Oakes is Gracie, the clerk at the record store. Richard Gittings is the emcee. 2/28/20
• 009. Lucy Puts Up a TV Antenna – 11/26/1962
  • Lucy, Viv, and the kids are getting ready to watch football, but they can’t get a good picture reception despite banging on the box repeatedly. They try to find something else to do by gathering around the piano but the kids don’t know the moms’ old fashioned songs. Eventually the kids wander upstairs and Lucy and Viv realize they need to get the TV fixed. Lucy takes the tubes into Herb (Del Moore) the TV repairman, but he sees no issue with them. Lucy breaks down and pays the $8 for him to come look at the TV, and determines that the antenna had fallen down. Determined not to pay the $40 install fee, they try to get Mr. Holly (Lloyd Corrigan) the cleaning man to do it, but he can only express his admirations that single women are attempting it on their own. Lucy finally talks Viv into getting on the roof with her. They manage to break a window and put a hole in the roof before getting the antenna in place. Viv goes down to check the picture, but they can’t get any results. Lucy realizes she never plugged it in, and after doing so, she falls into the chimney butt first and gets stuck. Viv comes back up and tries to use the ladder as a fulcrum, and ends up breaking it in half. This is all exacerbated by the fact that Viv has built a fire in the fireplace. Eventually two firemen (Chuck Roberson, Hubie Kerns) show up because the fireplace smoke has been coming out the window due to Lucy being stuck in it. They get Lucy loose, and then carry off the ladies off the roof, thus making it a happy day for the ladies after all. 6/9/20
• 010. Vivian Sues Lucy – 12/3/1962
  • Lucy and Viv return from shopping and find the living room in shambles after the kids left all of their toys out. While making them clean up, Vivian mentions to them that not only does it look better to be clean, but that if someone were to fall over their toys, Lucy could be sued. Lucy scoffs at that notion, but minutes later Vivian trip over one of Jerry’s toy cars and twists her ankle. Lucy becomes worried that Viv might Sue her based on her previous comments, and then even more convinced when she hears her tell her lawyer over the phone that she is going to sue. She is actually talking about her ex-husband Ralph as she is waiting for payment from him, but Lucy expresses her concern to Mr. Barnsdahl, who advises her to have her quickly sign off on a waiver of liability. When Viv finds out that Lucy believes she could actually sue, she becomes angry and threatens to actually sue. Lucy tries to pamper her and wait on her hand and foot to appease her, and although Viv has no intention of suing, she finds it amusing to make Lucy jump through hoops. Lucy begins to suspect that Viv’s foot no longer even hurts, so she tries to trick her into getting out of bed, by pretending that Mr. Barnsdahl is a prowler. Viv doesn’t fall for it and simply asks Lucy to get her more tea. When Lucy freaks out when a mouse enters Viv’s room, Viv again thinks Lucy is just trying to trick her. But when the real mouse does in fact jump on the bed, Viv does hop up, jump on a chair, and runs downstairs… then promptly trips on one of Jerry’s skates and sprains her other ankle. 6/9/20
• 011. Lucy Builds a Rumpus Room – 12/10/1962
  • Lucy and Viv each have dates for Saturday night, and after getting over the fact that each one has stood up the other for their traditional Saturday night at the movies, they also realize that Lucy wants to make dinner at home for her date, the dentist Dr. Rudy Warren (Chris Warfield), and Viv wants to make dinner at home for her date Eddie Collins. The girls argue about this until Harry enters and makes two suggestions: that they create a rumpus room in their basement so they can both entertain, and when that isn’t feasible to complete before their dates, that they both go out to dinner with their dates. They agree to this, but after Viv and Eddie head out, Lucy quickly changes out of her dinner attire and starts cooking the trout almondine for Rudy. She is interrupted when Viv and Eddie return with the same idea and she has to clean everything up quickly. Once Rudy arrives and she starts to serve him, Viv and Eddie return again, followed by a delivery man (Jim Boles) with a catered meal for Viv. They get so angry at each other that Viv declares she is moving out, but on moving day neither one of them can go through with it. They then decide to fix up the basement as a rumpus room as Harry suggested and get to work moving the coal bin and slathering the wall with glue for the paneling. The both wind up getting stuck to the walls, just in time for the next coal shipment that buries them in coal as well. Harry arrives to help and can only find amusement in their predicament. 9/22/20
• 012. Lucy and Her Electric Mattress – 12/17/1962
  • Viv has been having trouble sleeping because of her lumpy mattress, and although Lucy doesn’t initially think a new mattress falls under her responsibility, Chris gives her a change of heart and she decides to buy a new one for Viv. She plans to surprise her while she and Sherman are out of town visiting her Uncle Ned by getting her a new mattress and cleaning up her room. She cleans the curtains and gives the floor a wax job, and then decides to lay down on the new vibrating mattress. With the floors so slick, the bed vibrates all over the room with Lucy on it and she struggles to control the bed. This incident makes her decide to return the mattress and get a normal one for Viv. When Viv’s car breaks down on the way to her Uncle’s place, they return unexpectedly. Viv is surprised to find that her mattress is gone, but when Lucy explains what she is doing, Viv is happy to get a new mattress… but has nowhere to sleep. They decided to move the boys into her bed and take the bunk beds. Lucy struggles to get on top, and then has to get down when Viv’s hair curlers become caught in the springs. Once she back up, Viv decides she is claustrophobic so they switch beds. Then Viv becomes scared of falling off, so they switch again. Lucy decides to go grab some chips, and when she gets back Viv is asleep so she has to use stilts to get in the top again. Viv wakes up when she hears the chips crunching and decides she is claustrophobic again. Lucy then allows Viv back on the top bunk and agrees to sleep on the outside so she can’t fall out. She uses the stilts to get back up, but once they lay down and relax, the top bunk starts to sink down to the bottom one. 9/22/20
• 013. Together for Christmas – 12/24/1962
  • Lucy and Viv have decided to stay at home for Christmas, instead of going to their hometowns. Lucy visits Ernie the Butcher (Joseph Mell) to get a turkey to stuff with chestnuts, whereas Viv typically has a goose to stuff with oysters. Viv picks out a white tree, while Lucy would like a green tree. The compromise by agreeing to a turkey stuffed with oysters, and to each get separate trees. Soon they realize that none of their traditions match: when to eat, when to open gifts, where to put the stockings, etc. In fact, the disagreements are so harsh that Lucy decides to go home to Jamestown, New York, and Viv decides to go home to Philadelphia. However, before they can tell the kids, Chris makes it known that she wants to see Alan Harper, and the boys want to go caroling with other kids. Lucy and Viv bite the bullet and decide to stay home for their sake. As they start to trim their trees, they each accidentally break each other’s favorite ornament, which escalates to a melee of tree destruction. When they hear the kids approach with their caroling, they quickly craft one tree out of the remaining parts of each tree. The kids all come inside and sing Deck the Halls and O Come All Ye Faithful, which prompts Lucy and Viv to tearfully wish each other a Merry Christmas. Robert R. Stephenson is the parcel post man. 1/10/21
• 014. Chris’s New Year’s Eve Party – 12/31/1962
  • Lucy and Viv decorate for the New Years Eve party that Chris is going to be hosted. Lucy plans on putting on a silent movie act during the party. Chris confides in Viv that she really wants to host the party without her mother there, so Viv tells Chris to be honest and tell Lucy. After beating around the bush, Lucy takes the hint. They have trouble finding anything to do, since Chris asked Harry to chaperone the party, and Eddie is entertaining a client. They decide to go the Elm Tree Inn for dinner and dancing, and instead of actual dates, to take the boys. They have a good time teaching the boys the foxtrot, and then learning the watusi from the boys. However by 10pm, the boys have fallen asleep at the table and the ladies are getting tired. Eddie shows up and says he lost his client in Times Square, and tells them that he stopped by the house and Chris now wants their help because the party is a dud. They go home and Lucy dresses as Charlie Chaplin, Viv portrays the girl, Harry is a waiter, and Eddie is a the girl’s tough boyfriend in an act that simulates a silent movie. In the routine, the Tramp flirts with a flapper in a restaurant, and she ignores him until she realizes she doesn’t have enough to pay the bill. She then invites him to eat his fish with her, and tries to stick him with her bill. Her boyfriend then comes in and scuffles with the tramp. The waiter tries to collect the bill, and the tramp hands it over to the boyfriend. As the three of them argue over the bill, the tramp ties them up and walks out. When the show ends, everyone cheers and Chris declares that her mother saved the party. Alan announces that it’s midnight, so everyone celebrates and greets each other with New Years wishes. James Gonzalez is the waiter. 1/10/21
• 015. Lucy’s Sister Pays a Visit – 1/7/1963
  • Lucy gets a letter from her sister Marge (Janet Waldo) indicting she is back from her honeymoon, after eloping with Hughie (Peter Marshall). Lucy thinks she should have had a real wedding, but Hughie didn’t want a big fuss. That night Marge shows up at the house from New York City, claiming her marriage is already on the rocks. Lucy puts her up for the night, and at about 4am, Hughie shows up… and they quickly make up. It turns out their fight was about the the Fatui opera chair that Lucy got for them, but after he realizes that the gift was from Lucy, he is apologetic. Lucy promises to forgive him if he agrees to have a big wedding. He goes along with it, and Lucy begins going amuck right away to have a big wedding that afternoon. When Hughie finds out how many family members she is inviting, he takes a tranquilizer and then spikes the punch with champagne. As Lucy and Viv are decorating, they each take a tranquilizer as well. Then when they drop the wedding ring in the punch bowl, the begin drinking it as they search for the ring. They wind up drunk, and completely destroy the cake as they attempt to decorate it. That afternoon, they struggle to get everyone in place for the ceremony with their hangovers, only to find out that Marge and Hughie eloped a second time. 5/6/2021
• 016. Lucy and Viv Are Volunteer Firemen – 1/14/1963
  • Lucy has been writing letters to every public official she can think of to lobby that a proper fire department be put together in Danfield because rezoning has caused their fire department to be transferred to the neighboring town of Ridgebury. Jerry and Sherman come home from school, having been given marching orders at school by fire Captain Metcalf (Patrick McVey) to check their homes for fire hazards. Lucy doesn’t think they have any, but the boys find plenty to report back to the school. As a result, Metcalf comes to see the home, where he finds an electrical wire run completely around the room to wind up back where it started. He also mentions that they are putting together a volunteer fire department, which is entirely composed of women. When Viv tells him that it has been Lucy writing all of the notes, Metcalf makes her the Captain of the female volunteers. Lucy tries to train them all to slide down the pole, but Metcalf takes over the training and tells them it is unnecessary because they’ll be working from home. He explains that a signal from the fire department will send them into motion to get ready. He suggests that they practice making good time getting into their gear, and then authorizes Lucy to take the first crack at driving the engine. Lucy and Viv run through test trials of putting on their gear, and get it down to under 90 seconds. However when the real alarm goes off, they are both in shambles, and then after getting ready, they lose their car keys. All of the ladies eventually make it, and Lucy finally remembers that she’s the driver… although she has no idea where they are going. Eventually Thelma Green (Carole Cook) reveals that they’re retrieving Grandma Sutton’s cat from a tree. Lucy then backs the truck through the wall, causing the oven to start a fire. They cannot get the hose to work, especially because Viv is trying to hook it up to a water cooler. They finally form a bucket brigade using paper cups the water cooler to douse the fire, with Lucy taking a break to drink some of the water that reaches her. Ruth Crews is Dorothy. 5/6/21
• 017. Lucy Becomes a Reporter – 1/21/1963
  • Lucy is scouring the newspaper looking for a job, while Viv is surprised to read that a classmate from Shortridge High and the first boy who she kissed – and locked braces with – is coming to town. His name is Argyle Nelson (John Vivyan) and he is now an elusive and rich financier who refuses to give any interviews. Lucy also reads that Society columnist Betty Gillis is trying to take a two-week vacation but can’t find anyone to run her column while she is gone. Lucy immediately calls Betty and volunteers to take the job even though she has no qualification. She reports for work and meets the editor Mr. Foley (Roscoe Karns) and the pressman Calvin (Bobs Watson), both of whom she immediately drives crazy by yelling out ‘stop the presses’ and other things that cause Calvin to spill all of his letters. When she fiddles with the press in order to hear a phone call, causing it to spit out papers everywhere, Foley fires her. However, she asks Foley if she can keep her job if she gets an interview with Argyle Nelson, and he agrees. Lucy asks Viv to help her get the interview, but she refuses, so Lucy tries to dress like Viv and successfully gets in to see him. Nelson doesn’t want to talk about business, but rather reminisce about their days in high school. Lucy does her best to fake it, while trying to steer the conversation toward business questions. Vivian ends up showing up to see him in order to try and persuade him to do an interview with Lucy. At first, he thinks Viv is an imposter, but then realizes she is the real deal and that Lucy must be the imposter. He decides to have fun with Lucy, and tells him how he once strangled and threw an imposter out the window, then accuses Lucy of being one herself, which nearly scares Lucy to death. Finally, Vivian returns to the room and Nelson reveals his practical joke. Nelson then agrees to do the interview since she is Lucy’s friend, and Lucy calls Foley to once again tell him to ‘stop the presses’ since she got her interview. Emlen Davies is Nelson’s secretary. 8/31/21
• 018. Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower – 1/28/1963
  • Lucy and Viv discuss the need for an additional shower in the house when Chris has seemingly spent all morning in there. Vivian wants to employ a plumber, but Lucy finds out how much it costs and looks for alternative ways. She thinks she can get Harry and Eddie to put the shower in the boys’ bedroom closet for them for free. The men agree, but rather than waste their weekend, they come up with a plan to hire a professional plumber named Joe Melvin (Stafford Repp) and pass him off as their friend, and then leave and let Joe complete the work… and in the end, Harry and Eddie will pay for it. He gets to work, but Lucy keeps coming in and bothering him and insinuating that he is an amateur repeatedly, until finally he admits that the guys hired him and are paying him, but then refusing to complete the work since he’s taken a dislike to Lucy. Lucy thinks she can take over and finish it up, so she enlists Viv to help. Viv goes downstairs to turn the water back on, but she breaks the wrench in the process. The water starts to spray from the knobs, and the drain is covered and bolted with a screw until it can be expected. When the water starts to go everywhere, Lucy and Viv close themselves in the shower as the water flows and it nearly gets over their head. They can’t get the door open, and get quite manage to get over the top. Viv then realizes she has a screwdriver in her pocket, so Lucy goes underwater to uncover the drain. Their lives are spared, and Lucy notes how lucky they are since the water could have caused the ceiling to collapse. As they eat breakfast together, pieces of plaster start falling onto the table. 8/31/21
• 019. Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet – 2/4/1963
  • Viv and her girlfriends Thelma Green and Dorothy Boyer (Dorothy Konrad) are part of the The Four Alarms Barbershop Quartet for the Ladies’ Volunteer Fire Department. Lucy has long been excluded from participating since she cannot sing. However, when their singer Grace has to go out of town, they need a fourth for a big competition coming up. Lucy drops every hint she can, before outright volunteering to fill in the gap. They do some rehearsing with the sing By the Light of the Silvery Moon, but they all notice that they can barely hear Lucy since she can’t project. They also trying singing Be My Little Baby Bumblebee, but Lucy takes the lead and the others don’t have much to sing. The ladies suggest that Lucy take some voice lessons, so they call in Dr. Gitterman (Hans Conreid). He puts Lucy through her paces with loosening up, tongue exercises, and ways to project. Lucy contorts and makes every face physical possible before the class is finished. After her lessons, she is ready to sing with the others, but nearly passes out when she finds out just before the show that she will be performing in front of 3000 people. The ladies do their rousing rendition of By the Light of the Silvery Moon, and the M.C. (Allan Ray) declares them the winners. However, when Lucy hears they will be performing in New York and it will be broadcast across the country, Lucy faints again. 3/1/22
• 020. Lucy and Viv Become Tycoons – 2/11/1963
  • Lucy and Viv have Eddie over to watch a movie, as they munch on Viv’s homemade caramel corn. Eddie makes a suggestion that Viv could market and sell the candy corn, and Lucy says she should go into business for herself. Eddie says he can help with the startup capital, and Lucy thinks she’s entitled to be involved since she suggested it. After arguing over the title of the business using their own names, they decide to call their product Crazy Crunch. They start off slow and sure by fulfilling an order for ten boxes. The entire family gets involved in the kitchen manufacturing line, but when Chris and Sherman are sent on errands to deliver popcorn and pick up more nuts, Jerry eats too much caramel corn and becomes sick, and Viv winds up on a phone interview with the newspaper culinary section, Lucy winds up overwhelmed trying to prepare a new batch, and winds up with caramel and popcorn all over the kitchen. They set up a more efficient assembly line in the living room, even using a portable grill so that they pop extra corn. Things seem to be running smoother… until Eddie rushes in after being tipped off that the police are on their way since they’ve been tipped off on the retail zoning violation. They all quickly hide all of the material, merchandise, and prep tools… but forget to hide the girl. When the police officer Sgt. Robbins (Bern Hoffman) arrives, Lucy quickly tries to cover up the portable grill by sitting on it. In addition to betting burned, she also has to conceal the popcorn as it pops around her. They almost get rid of the officer, before they open the closet door and find that the automatic popper has filled the entire closet with popcorn. 3/1/22
• 021. No More Double Dates – 2/18/1963
  • Lucy and Viv are going out on their usual double date with Harry and Eddie, but no one can agree on the restaurant nor the movie. Eddie refuses to go to the Pink Pheasant because it is a new place and he wants to hear reviews first. When no one can decide on their choices, Lucy throws out the Café Tambourine, but they decline that as well. Lucy puts all of the restaurant’s names in a hate and draws out the Cafe Tambourine, but Viv discovers that she had put that name on all of the slips. Even after figuring out the dinner, several different choices come up for the movie, until they agree to see Ben Hur… but then the restaurant argument opens back up based on the location of the theater playing their movie. By the time the next weekend rolls around, Lucy and Harry discuss and decide that they’d rather go out on a date on their own in order to avoid the discussions and arguments leading up to it. Lucy suggests that Harry tell them that he won two tickets to a Broadway show that night, so they’re heading to New York via train. Eddie insists on driving them to the Danfield train station, but they end up waiting around looking through the newspaper for their plans, and wind up catching Harry and Lucy returning to the station without boarding the train. Lucy says they forgot their show tickets and have to go home, but when Eddie insists on driving back home to get them for them, Lucy pretends she found them in her purse. This time Eddie and Viv wait with them to board again, so this time they board, and take the train to New Rochelle, only to turn around and return to the station… where once again they run into Eddie and Viv, who have returned to get Viv’s glasses. This time Eddie drives them to the Ridgebury station that has an express to Broadway. This time they finally part ways, and Harry and Lucy head to the Pink Pheasant… only to be shocked to see Eddie and Viv right behind them waiting for a table. Harry goes to check on his flights, and a ravenous Lucy winds up with a violinist (Leon Belasco) playing to her. When she sees Viv and Eddie get called back in for a table by the headwaiter (Rolfe Sedan), she hides under the table, casually trying to eat some of their food. When the violinist spots her, she is finally revealed. She and Harry admit that they wanted to be alone for the night, and Viv and Eddie then admit that they too wanted to be alone and that was why they were working so hard to make sure they go on their train. Louis Nicoletti is the waiter. Allan Ray is the man who yells out “Harry” in the Danfield station. 7/6/22
• 022. Lucy and Viv Learn Judo – 2/25/1963
  • Jerry is babysitting a dog named Alvin for a classmate, but his mother won’t let the dog sleep with him. Meanwhile, Viv reads about a series of burglaries in the neighborhood, and she and Lucy become worried. Immediately they think they hear a prowler, and when he enters, they hit him with an umbrella and break a vase over his head. It turns out that the prowler is Harry, back home early from a flight. He gives them a whistle and tells them to blow it if they are ever in trouble, and also advises the ladies to take a judo course from an instructor named Mr. Sheldon (James Seay). The ladies agree and go see a demonstration from Sheldon and his star pupils Ed Parker (himself) and Louis Coppola (himself). They show the ladies some basic moves, including a handshake takedown, a stranglehold break and chop, and a spin-and-trip. They practice the moves with decent results, although Lucy and Viv have a hard time when practicing on their own. Later, Jerry comes home with a black eye, which turns out to have been given to him by Sherman, because Jerry borrowed his dog whistle to call Alvin. Lucy and Viv argue over who is at fault, and Lucy shows Jerry some of her new Judo techniques to get even with him. Sure enough, Sherman then comes home with a bandaged nose after he tried to make up with Jerry and wound up thrown to the ground after a handshake attempt. This nearly causes Viv and Lucy to go a round with each other using their Judo, but they are distracted by another prowler outside. They try to call Harry with the whistle but end up blowing the dog whistle. When the prowler enters, Lucy gives him a chop followed by a spin-and-trip. It again turns out to be Harry, and soon they are all surrounded by dogs who were responding to the whistle. 7/7/22
• 023. Lucy Is a Soda Jerk – 3/4/1963
  • Chris comes home one day and announces that she and her friend Cynthia (Lucie Arnaz) were selected to part of the Drum Majorettes at school. Lucy tells her that she too was a 19th runner up at the Freshman twirl-off. Chris then drops the bomb that it will cost $40 for the Majorettes outfit. Lucy then tries to dissuade her from joining or tells her that she should get a job to pay for it. Chris thinks she should try either babysitting or becoming a movie star. Cynthia phones and tells Chris that her mother said the same thing and suggests that they get jobs working for Mr. Wilbur (Paul Hartman) at the ice cream parlor. Lucy and Viv come in for a visit once they start working, and she is amazed by Mr. Wilbur’s dexterity as he makes the desserts. She also agrees to give Chris the money for the uniform and will allow her to pay Lucy back when she gets her paycheck. Later, Chris gets her uniform and Lucy is aghast how skimpy it is… until Viv shows her that Lucy’s uniform was even skimpier. Lucy tries to give Chris some pointers on handling the baton, but it seems to leave her control repeatedly as she tries to do her old tricks. When she moves it outside, she gets it stuck in a tree and Sherman has to retrieve it. Chris’s handling of the baton is considerably more impressive. Chris then gets a call from Cynthia, who tells her that Mr. Wilbur won’t let them have Saturday off, which is the day of the big parade where the Majorettes will first perform. Lucy and Viv agree to take the girls’ place at the ice cream parlor. The ladies even memorize all of the flavors in a song to impress Wilbur. Unfortunately, Lucy’s dexterity doesn’t match Wilbur’s and she winds up flinging ice cream all over the store. As Lucy is helping one customer (Jerry Hausner), the parade starts to come by the parlor, causing her to panic, spill the customer’s ice cream, and then get her feet stuck in two giant containers of ice cream as she scrambles to watch the parade go by. James Gonzalez is the complaining customer. Ruth Crews is the woman customer who is reminded by Lucy that her daughter made her ice cream. Desi Arnaz Jr. appears uncredited as the boy in the ice cream parlor. 10/31/22
• 024. Lucy Drives a Dump Truck – 3/11/1963
  • Lucy is proud that she was able to facilitate getting the Danfield Volunteer Firewomen their new uniforms but is harboring a secret: Councilman Bradley has refused to reimburse the ladies the $25 each for them. When they hold their meeting, Lucy glosses over this information as best as she can and tries to end the meeting early before they can question it, but Viv puts pressure on her to read the treasurer’s report, and then reads it for her. The women are disappointed and angry that they have to pay for them on their own, but Lucy comes up with the idea to hold a paper drive to raise the money like they had once done before. The hold the drive on a rainy day, and then store the 34 tons of soggy papers in Lucy’s house. However, when they call up the salvage man Mr. Sharp, he tells them that he is retired and there was so replacement salvage man in all of Danfield. As the ladies decide what they are going to do with Lucy, she scrambles to find another buyer, even checking with Ernie at the Fish Market, but has no luck. The ladies, including her friends Viv, Audrey, Thelma, and Dorothy Boyer, decide to discharge Lucy from being their Captain, remove her patches, and ask her to turn in her axe. She pleads with them not to kick her out, and just then Ernie calls and tells her he found someone to take the papers, but it is in Brewster, a nearby town. She manages to get a dump truck to transport them, but only gets Viv to help them. When they ride into Brewster, Lucy immediately runs afoul of a local policeman (Richard Reeves) who cites her for going the wrong way down a one-way street, her expired license, and then driving under an arch and spilling papers into the street. Eventually, the salvage man Ben Cooper (Ben Welden) comes out and gives them the check for the papers, and then tries to find someone to unload all of the papers. Lucy becomes impatient and decides to simply dump the papers into the street, but then accidentally dumps them all over the same policeman. 11/1/22
• 025. Lucy Visits the White House – 3/25/1963
  • Lucy and Viv work with the Pack 57 Den 8 Cub Scouts on a project of constructing the White House out of sugar cubes. They will follow this by taking a train to Washington D.C. and touring the White House. Lucy thinks the project is so worthwhile that she phones the White House and somehow manages to get President Kennedy on the phone, and he agrees to let her and the pack present the model to him. Once they get on board, the ladies get their own cabin so that they can safely stow the model but encounter a huge problem when they can’t get it through the door. The conductor (Frank Nelson) is no help and tells them they can’t keep it in the train’s walkway. However, they do it anyway and the go off to eat. When they return, they find that the model has been hit by the door so many times that they it is reduced to grains of sugar. Lucy and Viv decide to reconstruct the White House but will need all fresh sugar cubes to do so. Lucy sends Viv to try and get sugar cubes from the dining car, while she gets off in Greenview and visits Charlie’s Cafe, where a horse show will be going on that weekend. Charlie (Alan Reed), the counter man, won’t sell her the sugar, so she steals it and puts it into her bag. By the time she fills her bag, it is so heavy that she can barely drag it out of the cafe. Charlie catches on what she is doing, especially when the horse Annabelle belonging to jockey Ross Dowd (Elliott Reid) starts eating out of her bag. Lucy hits Charlie, Ross, and his horse groomer Bill (Pat Colby) with the bag… and then notices that the train has left the station. She mounts Annabelle and rides faster than the train in order to get back on. With the help of Viv’s supply of chewing gum, they are able to reconstruct the White House model. When they finally get to the White House, the president’s aide (Duncan McLeod) invites everyone in to see President Kennedy, but Lucy is so nervous, she is unable to walk. Viv gets her into a tiny rocking chair, which was once used by Tad Lincoln, and she gets stuck in it. Kennedy calls her to come in and tells her that he’s not the only one who is attached to a rocking chair. William Meader is the man on the train who is trying to pass. Desi Arnaz IV is Billy Simmons. NOTE: Allan Ray is credited as ‘man on train’ and Louis Nicoletti is credited as a customer, but do not appear. 3/2/23
• 026. Lucy and Viv Take Up Chemistry – 4/1/1963
  • Lucy is determined that she and Viv need to take some night classes at Danfield High. When they hear Sherman and Jerry arguing over the amount of liquid fuel to get a space capsule into space, Lucy decides they should take a chemistry class. Led by Dr. Adrian Vance (Lou Krugman), the ladies join the class and are assigned an individual scientific project of their choice. Vance shows the class the equipment in the classroom, and Lucy nearly starts a fire with the Bunsen burner and then accidentally douses Vance in the safety shower. Lucy decides she and Viv are going to try and discover the secret of eternal youth. Ethel agrees to be her assistant, and when she spills salt water on herself, Lucy rushes her into the chemical shower as well. Lucy quickly gets carried away and builds a giant system of test tubes, with an ego to match. She bosses Vivian around so much that she complains to Dr. Vance. Then Lucy corks the test tubes and causes them to explode on Vance. He and Vivian then agree to conspire to put a stop to Lucy’s madness. They get Lucy to drink some of her creation, which is simply a mild sedative, which puts her to sleep. While she is out, Viv borrows makeup from the drama department and makes her up to look like a monster. She is so horrific looking that she scares off fellow students Georgie (Ronnie Keith) and Delpha (Karen Norris). Dr. Vance tells Lucy that Chemistry must not be her best subject, but not to worry as they are moving onto Physics. Lucy begins making plans to get herself to the moon. Maurice Kelly is the student who wonders about life on other planets. 3/2/23
• 027. Lucy Is a Chaperone – 4/8/1963
  • Lucy is making plan to chaperone Chris and a group of her friends in her Girl’s Club on a trip to Sandy Cove. However, Chris comes home with the bad news that Debbie Wescott’s (Patty Ann Gerrity) father Kenneth (Hanley Stafford), who also happens to be the school principal, won’t allow Sandy to go on the trip. Lucy gives Mr. Wescott a phone call to try and talk him into allowing his daughter to go along since she will be chaperoning. He maintains that the job is too great for one person, so Lucy tells him that there will be second chaperone on the trip. However, he says if anything goes wrong, he will abolish all of the Girls Clubs. Although Viv has no interest in going, Lucy manages to talk her into joining, with Jerry and Sherman going off to visit Uncle Ned. When they arrive at the cottage, Chris and her friends Debbie, Cynthia, Vicki (Karen Balkin), and others start making plans to meet up with boys. Although the girls want to dance the Mashed Potato and then head out onto the beach to check out the action, Lucy tells the girls they need to go to bed. The girls speak in their code that the ladies are a couple of old fogies. Lucy decides that she and Viv should turn themselves into teenagers so that they can connect better with the girls. Lucy teaches Viv some slang teen phrases and then they head to bed, only to be stymied by mosquitoes and a bat flying the window. They attempt to use a mosquito net before winding up hiding in the closet. The next days, the girls meet up with teen boys Georgie Blake (Eddie Hodges), Bill (Don Grady), and their guitarist friend (Jimmy Carter). Lucy and Viv then show up dressed like teens and using their slang terminology. They ask the boys to play Big Girls Don’t Cry, while they attempt to sing and dance to it. As they start to dance to the Surfers Stomp, Bill has the idea to involve them in the Limbo in order to drive them off. Viv returns to the house when her pants split. They then play volleyball and go scuba diving. When Lucy returns covered in seaweed, everyone but Chris has left. Chris tells Lucy that she and the kids want Lucy and Viv to act like chaperones and not teens. Lucy agrees with her and says they can host a party with the boys, promising to stay in the background. The party is innocent, but Debbie dreads her parents coming up to visit. When a bat gets in the cottage again, chaos ensues as all of the kids try to hit it with brooms and sticks. Just then Kenneth and Elizabeth Wescott (Charlotte Lawrence) come in and think the party is out of control. Lucy tries to convince them that they were going after a bat, but he won’t have it and suspends the club, telling Debbie to pack up her things… until Mrs. Westcott comes in and says the bat is real and is in the car. In trying to hit it, Lucy busts a tennis racquet over Westcott’s head. 8/3/23
• 028. Lucy and the Little League – 4/15/1963
  • Lucy, Viv, and Audrey attend a Danfield Little League game with Jerry and Sherman playing on the team. When they become behind by 18 runs, Viv and Audrey make spectacles of themselves by screaming at the players and umpire, optometrist Dr. Jacoby (Herb Vigran). Lucy tries to tell them to settle down until she winds up joining them in their booing. After the game, Jerry tells Lucy that their coach Mr. Cresant (William Schallert) down the “B” team. Lucy complains to Cresant after the game and says that it is unfair to Jerry to send him down after one strike-out, considering most of the other players struck out as well. He agrees to give Jerry one more chance and to start him in the next game. Lucy tries to work with Jerry at home to become a better hitter, showing him how to choke up on the bat, scrooch down in the batter’s box, and snarl at the pitcher. Lucy and Viv realize they are a nervous wreck about the next game but can’t stop talking about baseball. They decide to take a break and enjoy some fruit, but wind up throwing the orange around the room like a baseball. Before they head to bed, they can’t resist singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame. The next day at the game, Lucy and Viv attack the umpire when he calls one of Sherman’s pitches a ball. Despite warnings from Dr. Jacoby and Mr. Cresant, the ladies won’t stop making spectacles of themselves at nearly every call. When Jerry strikes out and the ladies insult Dr. Jacoby again, he throws them out of the ballpark. When they refuse to leave, he tells them that the Tigers will forfeit the game if they don’t leave. After they leave the park, Lucy returns dressed in an overcoat, hat, and glasses. However, Mr. Cresant hears her yelling and throws her out again. This time she returns dressed as a mustached man smoking a cigar. Cresant spots her and throws her out again. Next she tries hiding inside a garbage can and parks herself on the sidelines. This proves uncomfortable when people throw garbage in it and the coach bangs on it with a bat when he gets angry. However, she does manage to witness Jerry hit a home run. The coach discovers her in the can and tells her congratulations. Viv then reveals that she has been in the crowd the entire time dressed as a man with a beard and mustache. 8/3/23
• 029. Lucy and the Runaway Butterfly – 4/22/1963
  • Lucy and Viv have been having trouble getting their kids to school on time, so Lucy vows to get up earlier. Meanwhile, Lucy’s most recent boyfriend Howard McClay (Philip Carey) phones and asks Lucy to go to dinner at his boss Jack Donahue’s (Carl Benton Reid) house. Vivian thinks that there are wedding bells in store, since Donahue is considering making Howard partner in his law firm. Lucy almost cancels when she recalls that she promised Jerry that she would help him with his nature project for the Cub Scouts. She then decides she can help him with his bug display before the date. They work together to euthanize the bugs and pin and mount them. When Lucy comes across Jerry’s rarest specimen, the Lepidoptera blancus, otherwise known as the Royal White Butterfly, she accidentally lets it escape from its jar and fly out the window. Lucy vows to find Jerry another one before the meeting. During the date that night at Mr. Donahue and his wife Pauline’s (Doris Packer) dinner party. They eat outdoors, and Lucy starts to spot bugs flying around the table. The Donahue’s are shocked by her obsession with watching and trying to catch them. As the maid Ella (Karen Norris), Lucy tries to capture another bug with her glass and spills water everywhere. She then winds up with her hand in Mr. Donahue’s soup bowl when she thinks she sees a Royal White Butterfly. When she comes home empty-handed, Jerry says he’s not going to school since he never replaced his rare butterfly. Lucy vows that she’ll find one before the end of the day and bring it to him. Running late again, Lucy heads to the park in her nightgown, scares off a couple (Benny Rubin, Ellen Corby), knocks over a trash can, causes a balloon salesman to lose his inventory, knocks over a man on a bicycle, and destroys a peanut vendor’s table. She then wanders into the courthouse, where Mr. Donahue and Howard are in the middle of a case. The opposing attorney Mr. Harris (Jim Boles) is trying to prove that the lady in the witness box, Mrs. Wickenhauser (Mary Wickes), could not have possibly been wearing a bathrobe in public in the morning. Lucy then shows up inside the courtroom with her bathrobe and butterfly net. The judge (Ernest Sarracino) thinks that her appearance is a trick by Howard to influence the court. Lucy then put her net over the judge’s head and finds the butterfly she had been chasing. After the judge dismisses the case, a cop enters along with everyone from the park Lucy disrupted. Lucy asks if Howard could consider her a client, even if not a date. 12/4/23
• 030. Lucy Buys a Boat – 4/29/1963
  • While browsing through the classified ads in the newspaper, Lucy comes across an ad for a 26-foot sailboat. Viv would rather spend the summer at a rental cottage at the lake. Lucy thinks she can teach Viv and the kids to be sailors and insists on the boat. After purchasing it, they arrive and see that it is a filthy mess, covered in seaweed and barnacles. When Lucy unfurls the sail, they find that is a mess of patchwork fabric. Lucy takes on the role of the captain and talks everyone through cleaning it up. When it looks like rain, Lucy insists that they bring the mast inside to protect it, but it is too long to simply come through the front door. They have to try and angle it and bring it through the windows, breaking two of them in the process. One they get it in, Lucy gets the news that they now have a mooring and they can put the boat in the water that weekend. When they time comes, they bring their things from home to spend the weekend on the lake. Vivian bring along a chair since there isn’t any good place to sit. The boat is rocking from the start, and Viv has brought along seasickness pills. When the boat continues to rock, Viv speculates that they are no longer attached to the dock, and sure enough when they look out the window, they have come loose thanks to the rope breaking. They then realize that they didn’t bring the sails onboard. They decide to go to sleep for the night and wait for the lake patrol to find them in the morning. Viv keeps popping her pills, so by the time she sits in her chair, she falls right to sleep. Lucy tries to make some meatballs for dinner, but they keep sliding back and forth on the table. Lucy wedges herself between the cupboards and falls asleep there. When she wakes up in the morning, Viv’s chair keeps sliding back and forth without Viv waking up. Lucy had to dodge being hit by her chair. They suddenly spring a leak in the kitchen area, which then turns into three leaks squirting all over the kitchen. As they are trying to stay dry, they hear the lake patrol arrive. Lucy decides to sell the boat as they try to signal the lake patrol. 12/5/23

SEASON 2

NOTE: Season 2 and Season 3 of The Lucy Show were filmed in color but originally aired in black and white. Lucy filmed them in color because she reasoned that they would be easier to sell in syndication once the series had run its course. 

• 031. Lucy Plays Cleopatra – 9/30/1963
  • The ladies of the volunteer fire department are putting on a charity show that they call Volunteer Vanities. The enlist the help of drama professor Dr. Gitterman (Hans Conried) to give them some pointers, but after watching their opening number Hello, he advises them to give up the show. When they tell him that they’ve already sold tickets to the fundraiser, he suggests that he could assist with doing in the Shakesperean realm, and they decide on Antony and Cleopatra. Gitterman offers to portray Julius Caesar in the show but suggests that they hold tryouts for the role of Cleopatra. Lucy thinks the part should go to her, but all of the ladies want their fair shot too. In order to make sure she gets the part, she calls Commissioner McCulloch and suggests that he do fire drill at the same time as the auditions are going to be held. Thus, Lucy is the only one who shows up, and she gets the part. Gitterman entrusts her to hand out the supporting roles as she sees fit, so she gives the role of Octavia to Audrey Simmons, the role of Charmian to Frances (Mary Wickes), the part of Iris to Mary Lou (Hazel Pierce), and the part of Alexis to Colleen (Renita Reachi). She gives three roles to Viv, but between all of the roles, she only speaks three words. Since Viv isn’t happy with this part, Lucy lets her play Antony and tells her that she can take as much time to die on stage as she wants. Everyone is annoyed with Lucy and feels she stole the part, but they go along with rehearsals anyway. Lucy is coached by Gitterman to project to the audience when she is dying on stage. When she and Viv rehearse their death scenes, each one lets their death linger on as they try to upstage each other. Gitterman warns them that once they die on stage, they need to remain dead so he can deliver his soliloquy. On the night of the actual show, during the middle of their performance, the ladies find out that there is a fire on Cobb’s Lane, so Lucy and Viv agree to make their deaths on stage fast and that the other ladies can pick them up with the fire engine on their way to the fire. As Gitterman in his role as Julius Caesar makes his final soliloquy, Viv and Lucy each extend their deaths long after they should have died in order to steal the attention. The other ladies show up in their fire gear and drag Lucy and Viv off the stage to help with the fire. Sid Gould is Joe, the carrier of the litter. 4/11/24
• 032. Kiddie Parties, Inc. – 10/7/1963
  • Lucy’s kids Jerry and Chris are both invited to birthday parties, but Lucy has no money to buy gifts for their friends, and Viv is too broke to lend her any money. Lucy decides that they need to get a job, and while reminiscing about Sherman’s last party, it strikes Lucy that they could offer their services to parents in the area to arrange birthday parties for kids celebrating in town. They place an ad in the paper, and eventually it is answered by a man named Mr. Sanford (Lyle Talbot) whose boy Tommy (Jimmie Lee Gaines) is having a birthday. Lucy and Viv try to convince Mr. Sandford that they can do it, even when he insists on a circus theme that includes clowns, and dog act, and a pony. When he offers $15 a head for ten boys, Lucy is convinced they can do anything with that much money to use. She arranges to borrow a trained dog named Thunderbolt (Stretch) and hire a clown and a pony. As they are getting ready for the party, Lucy blows up Helium balloons, but Viv keeps letting them fly off into the sky. Eventually, Lucy has to leave to go get the clown, so Viv takes over balloon duty. Later, Viv gives pony rides on the rented pony Dimples, but Tommy and his friend David (Ronnie Dapo) start arguing over who gets to go next. When Tommy pulls out his cap gun, it causes Dimples to run off. Mr. Sanford starts to get impatient since Lucy has left and he has seen no sign of the clown or dog act. Just then, Lucy returns dressed as the clown herself, explaining to Viv that the real clown has the flu. She starts to put on a comedy routine, but Mr. Sanford insists on the animal act. Lucy brings out the basset hound Thunderbolt, who seems too lazy to stand up, much less do tricks, but Lucy and the kids are fascinated by the dog and its incredibly loose skin. Mr. Sanford loses more and more patience and tells Lucy he’s considering asking for his money back. Viv, meanwhile, finds out from Lucy that after the expenses, they will clear about $5 each. Lucy runs off to get the balloons, while Viv then realizes that the animal-shaped ice cream figures have melted. Lucy returns with the balloons, which have overpowered her and caused her to float uncontrollably over the party. She can’t get down and winds up floating far away, with Vivian calling Mayor Scanlon and pleading with him to help. Eventually, Lucy gets stuck on a church steeple and is freed by Reverend Moss. Viv tells Lucy the silver lining to the cloud in that they received lots of job offers for parties, with each kid saying they don’t care what happens at the party as long as Lucy floats away at the end of it. NOTE: Mr. Sanford is billed in the credits as Mr. Stanford. 4/11/24
• 033. Lucy and Viv Play Softball – 10/14/1963
  • coming soon
• 034. Lucy Gets Locked in the Vault – 10/21/1963
  • coming soon
• 035. Lucy and the Safecracker – 10/28/1963
  • coming soon
• 036. Lucy Goes Duck Hunting – 11/7/1963
  • coming soon
• 037. Lucy and the Bank Scandal – 11/11/1963
  • coming soon
• 038. Lucy Decides to Redecorate – 11/18/1963
  • Lucy is working to make the furnishing in her living room look as bad as possible so that Mr. Mooney will take pity and let her take $200 from her trust fund to refurbish the room. She has a plan to ask for carpet for $500, so that it will be that much easier to convince him to give her the $200. When he comes over, she makes sure that he sees the cigarette burns on the coffee table, the burn lampshade, and the broken springs in the couch. Her plan works like a charm, and she gets the $200. However, she decides to take some shortcuts so that she and Viv will have extra money to buy new dresses. Instead of reupholstering the couch, she learns from Young Moderns magazine how to spray it with paint. Unfortunately, the sprayer malfunctions, and while she is trying to fix it, Viv plugs it in and causes it to spray the walls and curtains with paint. Lucy and Viv spend the next fourteen hours painting the entire room, the realize that, as exhausted as they are, they can’t go to bed because they would have to walk on the freshly painted steps. They decide to sleep in the garage, but they both argue over who gets the back seat. When Viv threatens to simply walk upstairs, Lucy lets her have it. However, once she falls asleep, she moves Viv over so that they are each in the back seat with their feet going into the front seats. After turning the car on to get the heat, Lucy accidentally throws the car into reverse with her foot, causing it to back through the wall and into the living room of the house. This wakes up the kids, who trample down the stair. Mr. Mooney hears the accident while passing by and rushes in to call the police. Naturally, he is shocked to see what happened, and Lucy is able to get him to fund the repair of the house by asking for a swimming pool. Once the house is back in tip-top shape, Mooney stops by again and questions why there was a plumbing charge among the bills. Lucy explains that she accidentally made a hole in the wall while putting up a picture, and since the kitchen was visible through the hole, she just had to remodel the kitchen as well. This time she asks for a world cruise in order to get the money for the remodel. 8/29/24
• 039. Lucy Puts Out a Fire at the Bank – 12/2/1963
  • As representatives of the Women’s Volunteer Fire Department of Danville, Lucy and Viv make a plea to the town council, headed up by Mr. Mooney, for appropriation money to keep them money. They are immediately turned down, and Mooney tells them the reason is that there isn’t enough value in what they do, which includes saving cats, putting out burning leaves, and unclogging chimney for them to continue with funding. Mooney explains that if there is a real fire, they can always call the New Rochelle fire department to assist. Lucy suggests that they all to rookie training school to learn about real firefighting, which would qualify them to handle a real fire without the help of New Rochelle. Lucy, Viv, Fran, Audrey, and the other ladies all take classes from Captain Burke (Alan Hale Jr.), who gets increasingly frustrated through the session. They attempt a fireman’s carry, but Lucy is unable to lift Viv. They try to use the battering ram, but wind up going backwards into the firetruck and knock off its fender. They also practice catching a dummy into a fireman’s life net, but never actually catch it as it hits the ground…twice. Captain Burke tries to show them how to use a fireman’s fan to blow smoke out of a burning building, by simulating a fire with a smoke bomb. When Viv and Lucy turn on the fan prematurely, they end up blowing the smoke into the captain’s face. They attempt some ladder drills, with Viv attempting to feed the hose to Lucy up the ladder, but when the hose doesn’t get connected, they spray everyone with water, finally prompting Captain Burke to dismiss class. Once they make it through the training, Lucy and Viv desperately wait for the fire alarm to go off so that they can show how they can handle a fire, hoping this will inspire the Town Council to finally approve their appropriation. Lucy decides that they can simulate a fire emergency at the bank by using one of the smoke bombs, so they arranged to have the volunteers standing by. Lucy enters the bank as a customer and attempts to light the smoke bomb and place it in the trash can. When her lighter doesn’t work, she winds up getting her cigarettes lit by the security guard Albert (Irwin Charone) and then Mr. Mooney. The volunteer ladies keep rushing in prematurely, only to be told there is no fire. Lucy finally gets the smoke bomb going, but this time the ladies have to use the battering ram to get inside. Lucy tries to get Mr. Mooney out of there, but Viv is unable to do the fireman’s carry on him. The ladies finally put him on a stretcher to carry him out. They bring in the fireman’s fan, which winds up blowing money all over the bank. Once the ‘fire’ is out, Lucy asks Mr. Mooney if he thinks the Town Council will approve the money, and he tells them that has already done so before the bank fire was ever started. James Gonzales is the teller who yells “Fire!” Sid Gould is Thompson, the man who tells Lucy that the Town Council will see her. 8/29/24

This entry was posted on Monday, June 5th, 2000 at 7:49 pm and is filed under Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.