The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"Don't touch me, I'm sterile." - Ed Norton, "The Honeymooners"

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by Barton Dean. 

Theme song by Frank Fitzpatrick

  • 001. The More Things Change, the More They Stay Insane – 7/9/1994
    • In rural Michigan, eighteen-year-old Madeline Drego (Jennifer Aniston) works at Drego’s Oasis, a combination diner and motel, that had previously been run by her parents. One day, her mother Connie (Stephanie Hodge) returns to the diner, having been in prison for the past three years for shooting her ex-husband Sonny (D. David Morin) in the rear end after finding him sleeping with a pair of twins in a local motel. As surprised as Madeline is to see her, Connie is more surprised when she finds out that the arresting officer Trooper Duane Cooper (Scott Waara), who also testified against her, is now married to Madeline. Connie’s youngest daughter Kerri (Aimee Brooks), who is now under the legal custody of Madeline and Duane, is seemingly following in her mother’s footsteps and is dating men dressed in leather and frequently skipping school. Furthermore, Connie is dealt one additional surprise when she finds out that Sonny has returned home and is living in one of the motel cabins. Connie pays him a visit and demands that he leaves the property. Duane is nervous about Connie staying in the house with him and keeps his gun close to him. Madeline is furious that her mother forced her father out and reminds her that she is getting a second chance and that he deserves the same. Connie catches Sonny getting into the diner’s cash register to get bus fare, but she tells him that she is going to leave, so he can stay. She tells him that the way she pictured things was very different, and it is clear that the kids don’t need her. Sonny tells her that since Kerri is of control, she might need Connie to keep her from making the same mistakes that she did. When Duane returns home from his shift, he busts into the diner and knocks out Sonny with the door. He thinks that Connie has shot him, but she explains that Duane hit him. Both Duane and Madeline are just thrilled that Connie called him Duane. Kerri returns home after a date with her teacher Mr. Johnson, and Madeline points out that they are having a family reunion. Connie tells Kerri that she did in fact kill her father because he was okay with her skipping school and staying out all night, which she hopes will scare her onto a straight path. Connie then puts some ice on Sonny’s head… and some down his pants. Among the regular customers at Drego’s Oasis are Gidney Pace (Hal Landon Jr.), Lyle (Hank Underwood), and Zane Whitman (Forry Smith). Ted Kalinowski and Phyllis Flax are the couple in the diner. 6/13/24

  • 002. Let It Be Normal – 7/16/1994
    • On Madeline’s first full day of freedom now that she’s out of prison, she starts it off by accidentally walking in on Duane while he is in the shower. As much as she tries to make everything return to normal, the guys at the diner want to hear sordid stories about her life in the women’s prison. She also starts work trying to get Kerri back on the straight and narrow path. Madeline spots an attractive guy at the diner, and after flirting with him, realizes that he is her parole officer Nick Seaver (Don R. McManus). He makes their first visit light and informal, but also gives her the conditions of her parole. Meanwhile, Connie’s old bowling team The Four Wheels comes to visit her and learns from her best friend Franny (Linda Hart) that they had to replace her with another player named Rita while she was in prison. Nick predicts that this will cause Connie to blow up in anger. Later, when she goes to clean the cabin in which Sonny is staying, she runs into Duane in the shower again. Franny decides to quit the bowling team and offers to go out to celebrate Connie’s release with dinner at Bootleggers. Since Franny is bringing her husband Ed, Sonny requests that he be invited as well, but Connie declines. Regardless, Sonny shows up anyway, but the maître d’ (Victor Raider-Wexler) seats him outside in the middle of winter. When Franny and Ed don’t show up, Connie finally tells Sonny that he can come in. Sonny tells her that Franny and Ed cancelled because Ed doesn’t want to tarnish his business reputation by being seen with an ex-con. Before they leave, Connie berates a man for staring at her, but he turns out to be a blind priest (David Brisbin). When they see how sad she is, Madeline and Kerri take their mother out to celebrate in Detroit and take a wrong turn into Ontario. Unfortunately, Nick hears them talking about their trip and points out that she violated her parole by going into Canada. Although everyone tries to say she was never in Canada, Connie admits that she had gone there and willingly goes along with Nick, who ends up fitting her with an ankle monitor. When Connie tries to take a shower, Kerri tells Duane that it is Madeline in the shower, so this time he walks in on his mother-in-law. 6/15/24
  • 003. Back by Demand – 7/23/1994
    • Connie is surprised to see that Kerri is actually studying for a makeup test at school that will enable her to graduate the tenth grade. Meanwhile, Madeline wants to return to having family diners in the diner, but when she invites her father, Connie storms out, causing everyone to start arguing and disperse. Lyle and Gidney take full advantage of the abandoned meal and have their own feast. However, the next morning, Madeline presents them with a bill for the food. Connie apologizes for ruining the dinner, but says she isn’t ready to be too chummy with Sonny yet. Kerri comes home in the middle of the day and says that school is bumming her out. She tells her mother that she passed her make-up test, but that her principal Mr. Gordon Spivey (Richard Venture) is going to hold her back anyway. Connie wants to go speak to him but is intimidated by him because he was her high school principal as well, and neither she nor Sonny had a very good relationship back then. When Madeline refuses to go with Connie, she resorts to asking Sonny to go. They eventually work up the nerve to ask him why he didn’t pass Kerri and tells them that she has missed 32 days of school, and when she is there, she has constant discipline problems. He remembers them well, and he makes it clear that Kerri’s problem isn’t academic, but rather behavioral. He forces them to tell him about their problems at home, and then assures them that Kerri isn’t mature enough to advance grades. Having failed at their effort, they both argue over who will tell Kerri, but she overhears them talking and says that she is going to drop out of school. Connie tells her adamantly that she can’t do that, and Duane says that she’s not old enough to do it without a parent’s permission. Kerri tries to get her mother to sign multiple forms, but Connie keeps tearing them up. Kerri assures her that even if she won’t sign, she won’t be able to make her go to school. Connie eventually gives up and signs the paper. Lyle and Gidney come to Drego’s Oasis and informs Madeline that they can’t pay the bill, so she puts them to work doing the dishes. Sonny is disappointed to find out that Connie signed off on her not going to school, so he goes and talks to Kerri. When they emerge, Connie is shocked to see Kerri telling him that she agrees with what he said and will think it over and likely return the next semester. Connie is stunned and demands to know what he said. However, she doesn’t care for the fact that what he told her was that she most certainly didn’t want to turn out like her mother. Connie is hurt by this, but agrees that she can’t raise her alone, and that they might have to make the best of the situation to support each other in parenthood. Later, Connie goes to see Mr. Spivey to tell him that she appreciates the fact that he had Kerri’s best interest at heart to do what’s right for her. She asks if that was why he was so hard on her as well, and he says that with her, it was just personal. After she leaves, Spivey sits on the tack that she left on his chair. 9/9/24
  • 004. It’s a Date – 7/30/1994
    • A beer distributor (Andy Kindler) for Lagermeister beer comes to Drego’s Oasis for a promotion using a model known as Miss Lagermeister (Sara Suzanne Brown), leaving behind a large cardboard cutout of her that Connie promptly deposits in the dumpster. With all of the attention that Miss Lagermeister gets from the other men in the restaurant, Connie is surprised that Sonny doesn’t pay any attention to her, but he says that he has no interest in any women except for her. Connie quickly rejects him, causing Madeline to try and talk her mother to give him a chance, or to at least let him know where he stands. Connie goes to see him in his room to tell him that they should start dating again. He is excited and takes down his pants, and then she explains that they should see other people. Sonny immediately grabs his black book of phone numbers from under the bed. When Connie sees Sonny coming in after being out all night with a girl named Bambi, and then keeps seeing him out the window dancing to the Lambada night after night, she decides to take Kerri up on her offer to set her up with her boyfriend Duane’s uncle Bud (Donald Gibb). Madeline criticizes Carrie for helping ruin their parents’ chances of reconciling, but Carrie is one step ahead since Uncle Bud will make their father look like “Prince Charles.” Bud, who resembles a Hell’s Angels biker, takes Connie to the Demolition Derby, and then recklessly drives her home. They wind up getting pulled over by Duane, who then brings her home. The only thing that makes the night work is when she then hears the Lambada music coming from Duane’s motel room and sees their dancing silhouettes in the window. She pounds on their door and forces her way in, but there is no woman to be found despite her efforts of scouring the room. Sonny admits that there really haven’t been in any women, and he was just telling her that to make her jealous to prove that she still cared, but it is clear to him now that this isn’t going to happen. She assures him that she is not jealous and leaves, but then rushes back into to take a look in the bathroom… only to find the ‘woman’ with whom he was dancing, the cutout standee of Miss Lagermeister. A month later, Connie tells Sonny that the cutout of Miss Lagermeister in his bed was funny, but now it is just weird. 9/9/24

 

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