The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"Next week we'll learn why cows look forward to giving milk!" - Mr. Olson, "Police Squad!"

So the convention was underway. It was Thursday, June 17, 2010, and I was quickly being absorbed into the old spirit of the Sons of the Desert conventions. We had to get up relatively early on this particular morning. Bob chose to go down to breakfast, while I preferred to take my time getting ready and tinkering around on the internet. We all assembled in front of the hotel and caught a bus over to Sutter’s Fort State Historic Park, which was our first activity of the day.

Sutter’s Fort was built in 1839 by John Sutter, and was the first non-Native American community in Central California. The location was crucial to the formation and establishment of Sacramento, and was where John Sutter was first shown the gold that was discovered during the building of Sutter’s Mill. Sutter’s Fort was also a stopping point for the Donner party, in the days before they resorted to eating each other. We chose to honor the location by having the traditional Oliver Hardy Putting Contest and Pee Wee Contest on the lawn of the fort, nearby to the bum sleeping in the sun.

I didn’t participate in the putting contest, but as usual I gave my best effort at smacking the pee wee. I thought that I was one of the last to go, and by that time no one still had gotten much of a hit on the pee wee. One of my hits sailed close where the furthest hits were flagged, so I though I would at least place in the top three. That was the least that I could do as former champion of 2006. Turns out that others came along after me and put all of our attempts to shame. The Way Out West Tent’s Bob Duncan ended up the victor.

Among those surveying the pee wee contest was one Christopher Chubb

Steve gives his best effort, which never quite seems enough

I really stretch in order to get maximum pee wee smackage

By this time, we were herded into the fort. There was a lively male docent clad in period attire who regaled us with stories of the fort and ended up firing a musket gun. Actually, I paid no attention whatsoever and was more in the mood to act silly with David and Jimmy. We walked a bit of a self-guided tour around the fort and then headed back to the bus.

At the historic Sutter’s Fort. I hardly cared.

We’re doing butterflies today…

Delighted to find a Sutter’s Fort cannon in which to insert my face

Plaque commemorating John Sutter

Bob, Lee, Dee, and Marcia. Four peas in a pot.

We got back to the hotel around 11:30 and decided to have lunch in the mall adjoining the hotel. The Wileys, David, and I had burgers and sodas at Johnny Rocket’s. The waitress drew a smiley face out of ketchup in my bowl. I tried to acclimate myself to Jimmy’s camera which he had brought to me the night before. Along with the iPod charger he brought, this would relieve the stress I had been coping with after forgetting both my iPod and camera battery chargers.

Johnny Rocket burgers and smiling faces

We didn’t have a whole lot time on our own before we were required to meet on the steps of the California state capitol building at 12:45. Here we assembled for a nice group photo. I’m not sure if you’d call it a parade, but the entire group then walked to the nearby Crest Theatre, a former vaudeville palace that had opened in 1912, some of the members carrying their tent banners.

Assembled on the steps of the State Capitol building. Find me, please.

On the docket were screenings of One Good Turn and Our Relations. I hate to quibble about sitting in a restored historic theater watching Laurel and Hardy films – because there are few places I’d rather be – but I must complain that the quality of the videos that they were showing were hideous. It is unfortunately that they could not get 35mm prints, or even the Universal DVDs. Bill Leavy and Jamie McKenna did their funny Laurel and Hardy Magicians act, which I think I’ve now seen three times. Even still, they certainly do it well. The show ended at 3:30 and we headed back to the hotel on foot – unless you were fortunate enough to enjoy the luxury of Bob Satterfield’s taxi service.

Jimmy, me, and David enjoying the show at the Crest Theatre

The swell look-alikes – as opposed to the horrendous ones

When we got back to the hotel, we were all pleased to see that Stan Laurel’s daughter Lois, and her granddaughter Cassidy, and great-grandchildren Tommy and Lucy had arrived. Cassidy had misplaced her purse and was in panic mode, but soon found it in the hall. We decided that after the scare we all needed a tall glass of shampoo. I also happened to run in to Nadine Kozack, who was the German webmaster of the Laurel and Hardy official website. My good pal Dick Bann might have been the brains behind the articles on there, but Nadine was the charming gal who put it all together.

At 4:00 began the Grand Council meeting, which in recent years has been almost completely uneventful. Gone are the days of fistfights and shouting matches. Now they are more of a venue to pitch the next convention. Roger Gordon gave a status of the Intra-Tent Journal.  Lots of supporters. In the black. Doing well. ¡Olé! Stan Taffel also got up and said something but I wasn’t listening. Bob, who was hosting the affair, then introduced Carol and Steve Rugh, who put in the pitch on the behalf of the On the Loose Tent of Manchester, New Hampshire. Since they were the only bid, the vote to hold the 2012 convention there was unanimous.

Stan whips the microphone out of Bob’s hand and breaks into song at the Grand Council meeting

The first banquet of the convention began that night at 6pm with another no-host cocktail warm-up. During the proceedings Nadine interviewed me for documentary coverage that she was putting together for the L&H website. She wanted the point of view of one of the younger members. Isn’t it sad that I still fall into that category?

The theme of the banquet was Them Thar Hills, so people were urged to come dressed as hillbillies…or as anything really. Nadine sat with Jimmy, David, and me at the table joined by a batch of The Flying Deuces Tent of New Jersey, namely Kevin Mulligan, Steve Cesareo, William Hamill, and Voodoo. Yes, you heard me right – Voodoo. The amazing thing is that the first three who I mentioned were three of thirteen members who had been to every Sons convention. And Kevin was the only one who I really knew at all. Amazing. All good guys, too.

We had a nice chicken dinner with the traditional fancy-banquet small portions of chicken, followed by a program hosted by The Midnight Patrol Tent’s Bill Cassara. It was called Appalachian Idyll, which naturally enough was a play on American Idol, but for people who appeared to possess little or no talent. Cassidy’s little Tommy told some jokes, John Duff sang like crap, Steve Wichrowski blew a kazoo, Stan Taffel sang, and Dwain Smith made it up onto the stage. Bob, Marcia, and Irene (our convention host) acted as the ‘judges’. This was followed up by an ESP magic show from Ray Karch, who is the Grand Sheik of the A-Haunting We Will Go Tent that meets in the Magic Castle in Los Angeles. Hey! He stole my name!

With my new friend Nadine at the Them Thar Hills banquet

The Wileys (minus) Kris (plus) Janet. Oh Janeee…

With longtime friend Kathy Luhman from the San Francisco Call of the Cuckoos Tent. For the record, this is a costume. And so is hers.

With the banquet host, Bill Cassara

Bill, Marcia, Irene, Lucy, Tommy, and Bob lead the group in the Sons of the Desert song

The film room and the dealer’s room both opened up that night at 9pm. I never once made it into the film room, a place that I had considered my second home at conventions of the early days. The dealer’s room was probably the worst I had ever seen, with absolutely nothing for sale that interested me. Bob picked up someone’s old collection of discarded video tapes. I headed up to bed at about 10:30 or so, ready to rest up for the next day. So far, so good!

Bob, sans butterflies, socializes with the McBeaths and picks up a box of old videos in the dealer’s room

The convention will continue

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