The Terrible Catsafterme

When I heard that my Grandpa Murphy had passed away just over a month shy of his 88th birthday, a flurry of forty years of memories went through my head. Memories of a strong and kind man who led an amazing life and reared a loving family. I always held a bit of a special position within that family as the oldest grandson. He was always there for any milestones that occurred in my life, up to and including dinner for my 40th birthday – which was the last time that I ever got to see him. It is strange to think that he will no longer be there to share birthdays, holidays, and that standard family gatherings that we hold throughout the year. The void left behind will never be filled.

Young Harold Murphy as a tot

Early portrait of a young Harold and Loretta

One of the common things you would hear family members say about my Grandpa was that ‘his bark was worse than his bite.’ That is because Grandpa in his younger years had quite a loud, booming voice – which went hand in hand with what I would cause as a pleasantly grumpy demeanor. I caught on to this at a young age, and knowing that the ‘bite’ was non-existant, I’d often elicit short-fuse reactions by doing or saying dumb things. Then I’d sit back and giggle when I could get Grandpa to yell.

Grandma and Grandpa Murphy’s wedding photo, September 13, 1943

Sometimes family members would get upset when they heard Grandpa snap at our beloved and timid Grandma Murphy. But even this seemed to be natural, because first of all, we knew how much he adored her, and secondly if he ever dared to push too far, she would let him have it. Nothing was more fun than to sit around the table and play games with Grandma and Grandpa Murphy. She’d say or do dumb things, he’d yell, we’d all laugh. Only my family members can relate to this. If you weren’t lucky enough to be part of the Murphy clan, you probably can’t.

True love…now together again

One of my all-time great memories was when Grandma and Grandpa took me on weekend trip to pick up Great Grandma Murphy from her home in West Virginia and bring her back to Ohio in 1983. I knew I could get him to yell at me by talking about KISS, or the National Enquirer, or especially if I refused  toorder anything but hamburgers at the restaurant where we ate. But no matter what, he always looked for anything that he could use to brag about me (as with all of his grandchildren). I did nothing special but buy one of every flavor of candy sticks at the Cracker Barrel where we stopped to eat, but he took delight in telling people how I had had the great idea to get every variety.

 

Handsome serviceman

My Mom noted at his viewing how talking about his kids and grandkids was classic Grandpa Murphy. He would act almost un-interested in something we told him, but soon we’d hear him bragging about it to someone else – oftentime strangers, of whom he knew none. “Why, my Grandson has got all kinds of…”

Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Bev, and Jim at the Grand Canyon in 1961

I matured somewhat as I got older, and Grandpa’s voice finally began to weaken, so there was no more yelling in his later years following my Grandma’s passing in 2006. I just got to enjoy the company of Grandpa Murphy during our numerous family gatherings and even a couple of vacations. Losing the love of his life had to be the most difficult thing he had ever faced, and it was only because his five children stayed so active in his life, and in turn kept him active, that he was able to do so well. He always seemed at his happiest to be in the presence of his kids, his grandkids, his great-grandkids, and even Silas, his one great-great-grandchild.

Grandpa, Darlene, Grandma, and me in 1972

The news of his death came completely unexpectedly. I was driving home on Wednesday early afternoon, October 12, 2011, when my Mom called to deliver the news. At that point, all we knew was that my aunt Diana had gone to pick him up for lunch, and had found him on the floor of his apartment, where he lived alone. They were going to meet up with my Mom and their cousin Bobbie and her mother Norma (my Grandpa’s sister-in law). Mom had to go to the restaurant to tell them the news.

Grandpa and Grandma, Easter 1985

The day before, October 11, Grandpa had lunch at Frickers with Bev & Ed, Ed’s sister Virginia, Karen and her girls, and Susan and her boys. Bev took him to pick up a prescription afterward and then dropped him off at home. Sometime that afternoon, he collapsed while washing his hands in the bathroom and never got back up.

Christmas 1997, when I gave Grandpa signed photos of Deanna Durbin, of whom he was a great fan

The thing that makes me happy about this is that he never spent one single day in a nursing home, nor had not spent the day of his passing alone, and thankfully had seen all of his children and many of his grandchildren within the past week. He had not hit his Medic Alert device, so it is likely that he didn’t lay there and suffer. I hope to God that I am so lucky when it is my time to go.

Grandpa relates the tales of how he met President Eisenhower and President Reagan on Memorial Day 2008. We never accused Grandpa of telling tall tales, but we did marvel at the fact that sometimes new stories would surface that even his kids had never heard before.

Grandpa playing Wii, Christmas 2010. He could kick most of our butts at the bowling game.

The last photo taken of my Grandpa Murphy is below. This was taken by Ed at my birthday dinner at the Hibachi Grill in Kettering on Wednesday, October 5, 2011. It is the third of three photos (or session of photos) taken of his four generations of offspring.

Grandpa, me, Ashleigh, Mom, and Silas on October 5, 2011

Following his passing, his five children, Diana, my Mom, Bev, Jim, and Darlene, went to work to prepare for the funeral arrangements – most of which Grandpa had already prepared in advance. Diana wrote a nice synopsis with some notes about Grandpa’s life. My cousin Chris agreed to read it at the funeral and made some minor alterations, mostly just substituting in the world “Grandpa” for “Dad”. It is as follows:

It is my privilege to read to you a short biography of Grandpa’s life that Aunt Diana put together.

Grandpa was born in Eaton, Ohio, the youngest child of Harry and Edith Murphy.  He lived on the west side of Dayton and graduated from Roosevelt High School.

In the 5th grade, he developed inflammation of the kidneys, or Brights’s Disease.  He missed most of the 5th grade and his sister Louise would bring home his homework every day.

In the 6th grade, he got rheumatic fever.  He missed another year of school.  This time the school sent someone to his house to tutor him.

He raised rabbits during the Depression starting with a male and female he named Andy and Madam Queen.  He sometimes sold them to Liberal Markets for some extra money.  He told us he rode his bicycle to California with two friends when he was 14 years old to visit his Grandpa Heywood, and it took them all summer.  He told us he met Queen Elizabeth II before she was queen, he played golf with Dwight Eisenhower, and he sparred with Joe Louis.  He told us lots of stories about being a policeman.

He met Grandma at a roller skating rink.  They were married in Denver, Colorado when they were both 19.  Grandma carried her wedding dress on a train across country to meet Grandpa at Lowry Air Force Base.  A few weeks later, Grandpa left for England and World War II.  He loaded bombs on airplanes at Flixton Air Force Base in England.  Grandma and Grandpa didn’t see each other for almost two years.

Fifty years later, in 1995, he took Grandma back to England to see what was left of Flixton Air Force Base and he found the 446^th Bomb Group Museum.

When Grandpa came home from the War in 1945, he moved in with Grandma and Great-Grandma Murlin.  When they bought their first house, Great-Grandma moved in with them.  Pretty soon there were five kids, Great-Grandma Murlin, and for a while Great-Grandma Murphy lived with them too.  It was a full house!

During this time, he had many different jobs.  He was a tool designer by trade, but when the work was scarce he would get laid off one day and have another job by the next day.  He was a taxi driver, a policeman, a bread truck driver, a wallpaper hanger, a painter, an insurance man, and a bookkeeper, just to name a few.

 Things we remember about Grandpa.  He always kissed Grandma hello and goodbye.  He loved to dance.  He loved to sing in the choir.  He loved working at Fricker’s, which was his second career after retiring from Vulcan Tool.

 He loved his family and his sixteen grandchildren, fifteen great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandson.  He loved playing Santa with a bow on his head.  He loved sports.  He loved going to Myrtle Beach with his family.  He wrote a song for Grandma called “Little Did I Know”.

 Since Grandma passed away six years ago, he traveled some.  He went to California to visit his cousins, went to Disney World, Alaska, and the WWII Memorial in Washington, DC.  He was always ready to go when someone invited him.

He was fortunate enough to live independently in his own apartment, he still drove his own car, and enjoyed relatively good health.  He lived life to the fullest and he will be missed.

With Grandpa at his final birthday party at Marions Piazza, November 2010

There just really aren’t enough words to express how much my Grandpa Murphy will be missed by his extensive family and countless number of friends. Our solace comes only from knowing that he and Grandma are now together, resting above us…holding hands.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, October 15th, 2011 at 6:58 am and is filed under 2010's - Early, Ancestry, Family Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.