The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Developed by Bob Brunner and Arthur Silver based on characters created by Bill Lancaster

This series is based on the 1975 film of the same name, and its sequels “The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training” and “The Bad News Bears Go to Japan“

Theme Song: “March of the Toreadors (Carmen Overture)” by Georges Bizet, arranged by David Michael Frank

• 001. Here Comes the Coach – 3/24/1979
  • Pool cleaner Morris Buttermaker (Jack Warden) is arrested after driving the Cadillac of a customer who stiffed him into the customer’s pool, and is sentenced to either go to prison or volunteer to coach at the local W. Wendel Weever School where kids with discipline problems are sent. The baseball team he is given consists of Rudi Stein (Billy Jacoby), Regi Tower (Corey Feldman), Timmy Lupus (Shane Butterworth), Ahmad Abdul Rahim (Kristoff St. John), Mike Engelberg (J. Brennan Smith), Leslie Ogilve (Sparky Marcus), and Tanner Boyle (Meeno Peluce). After seeing how terrible the team is on the practice field, Buttermaker quits, but when the school principal Emily Rappant (Catherine Hicks) shows up at his house with the police, he recants and resumes coaching. Their first game against the Lions with their obnoxious coach Roy Turner (Phillip Richard Allen), ends with the Bears forfeiting after they are losing by 39 runs in the first inning. The Bears want to quit the team, but Buttermaker gives them a speech about quitting and they take to the practice field once again. 5/5/13
• 002. Amanda Joins the Bears – 3/31/1979
  • The Bears come off another losing game, and Coach Buttermaker helps them keep their confidence up by telling them that he had seen some signs of teamwork. However he feels they need a new pitcher so he puts up a notice on the bulletin board promising a free trip to Hawaii – which the kids will actually all get if the team goes to the championship. One of those who turn out is Amanda Wurlitzer (Tricia Cast), the daughter of Buttermaker’s ex-girlfriend. When she learns that the Hawaii promise is a hoax, she starts to leave. Buttermaker bribes her to just pitch one game, but tells the team that she is permanent. Amanda pitches a good game but the team narrowly loses. After having an argument with Buttermaker, Amanda decides to stay on the team. Bill Lazarus plays Frosty. 5/5/13
• 003. Nakedness Is Next to Godliness – 4/7/1979
  • Emily is tired of the boys being filthy at school, so she insists that the Bears should take showers after practices and games. Buttermaker reluctantly goes along with it, letting Amanda use his office to change clothes. Ogilve however has issues with being nude in front of the others. Buttermaker first insists that he shower, but then recants and tells him he can shower alone. When an opposing baseball team starts to be make fun of Ogilve, the Bears come to his rescue and a fight ensues on the field. Ogilve decides that the fight will stop if he strips nude on the field, thus liberating himself from his fear. 12/22/13
• 004. The Kelly Story – 4/21/1979
  • Bike-riding ruffian Kelly Leak (Gregg Forrest) is hanging around the baseball field starting trouble, but when Amanda challenges him to hit one of her pitches, everyone is astonished that he is great at baseball. Buttermaker wants nothing to do with him, and especially wants him to steer clear of Amanda – but Amanda wants him on the team and goes out on a date with him, only promising a second one if he’ll join the team. Eventually he and Buttermaker make peace, and he joins the team just in time to help the Bears win their first game. Christopher Holloway is Joey Turner. 12/23/13
• 005. Tanner’s Bird – 4/28/1979
  • Buttermaker’s umpire friend Frosty buys himself and Buttermake a race horse that turns out to have shin splints and can’t race. Buttermaker can’t find a place to board the horse so he leaves it at the school while he tries to find a suitable home for it. Tanner feels this entitles him to board his pet parakeet Jaws there as well. Ultimately the horse sits on top of the bird and kills it. When Tanner finds out, he acts as if it is no big deal as everyone on the team tries to console him. The team holds a funeral for Jaws and although he had refused to attend, Tanner shows up and finally lets out his tears.  1/14/14
• 006. Emily Loves Morris – 5/5/1979
  • When Principal Rappant gives Buttermaker a big hug after the Bears’ second victory, the kids start teasing him about her having a crush on him. Amanda is skeptical until Rappant asks her for Buttermaker’s shirt size. The rumors start flying, until even Buttermaker himself starts to believe it, especially when Rappant asks him to meet her at her house. He seeks the advice of his Little League arch nemesis Roy Turner, who tells him to nip it in the bud if he’s not interested. He goes to her house and lays down the ground rules that that they can have dinner, but no fooling around, and no marriage – then notices his players hidden around the room. The dinner was actually a surprise party at which they present him with a new jersey. Buttermaker claims that he knew they were there, and was just teaching them a lesson about spreading rumors. 2/2/14
• 007. The Food Caper – 5/12/1979
  • Mike Engelberg has been dieting, and at the same time food is being stolen from the school cafeteria. Further circumstantial evidence points to him as well ie. similar foods found in his locker, his calorie counter book found at the scene of the crime. Even his ‘attorney’ Ogilve turns against him, but Engelberg still denies the charges. Dr. Rappant tells him that if he doesn’t confess to stealing the food, he will be kicked off the Bears, so he confesses. Buttermaker comes to his defense, but not before the custodian catches another kid trying to sell him stolen canned goods. Meanwhile Buttermaker tries to meet up with an old flame, Racecar Rhonda. 1/14/14
• 008. Men Will Be Boys – 5/19/1979
  • After a particularly lousy practice, Turner begins to ridicule the Bears to Buttermaker and resorts to taking cheap shots at the players. In anger Buttermaker bets him that the Bears will win their next game against the Wildcats. The stakes are that Turner will be the team’s bat boy if they win, and Buttermaker will clean Turner’s pool if they lose. Buttermaker practices them extra hard until the team is ready to mutiny, at which point he confesses that he made the bet. The team agrees to try their best to win, even resorting to some cheap tactics, some of which Buttermaker instructed and some they have come up with on their own. When Amanda hits a batter with a pitch, Buttermaker puts in the second string players and tells them the game is more about fun than winning. Turner has mercy and calls off the bet, gaining respect for the Bears when they play dirty. The second stringers look so bad, that Buttermaker agrees. Through some fluke the Bears manage to get a triple play and win the game. Turner insults them again, and nearly wages another bet for the next time he faces Turner’s Yankees on the field. Danny A. Nunez is Jose. 2/2/14
• 009. Three’s a Crowd – 5/26/1979
  • Amanda is enlisting the help of Kelly and Ogilve in preparing a dinner for her mother Alice (Joyce Bulifant) and Buttermaker to share, in hopes that this will get them back together. Buttermaker refuses the offer and along with Amanda, takes back the food that Amanda ordered at a department store. When Amanda mentions them being a family, Buttermaker softens up and agrees to the dinner, and also helps Amanda shop for a bra. Alice and Morris are amicable during dinner, but realize that the only thing they have in common is a love for Amanda. They decide to put the dating on hold; Amanda is upset but ultimately accepts it. 3/2/14
• 010. Save the Bears – 6/2/1979
  • When Ogilve shrinks the Bears uniforms, he is pressured to come up with a way so that they can replace them. His idea involves a fund raiser to save the phony ‘Weever Bears.’ Initially they collect about $30 on the street corner, but once the local news picks up the story, they end up taking in over $26,000, which the kids deposit into Buttermaker’s account unbeknownst to him…and start fantasizing about how they’ll spend the excess money. Another news agency digs around and finds out that there are no such thing as Weever Bears, and the news anchor Elliot Carson (Larry Breeding) grills Buttermaker on the air. The Bears end up donating the money to endangered seals instead. 3/3/14
• 011. Dance Fever – 6/9/1979
  • Despite the fact that he’d rather stick to baseball, the kids talk Buttermaker into chaperoning the school dance. Ogilve tries to teach himself to dance. Buttermaker gets hit on by a twelve-year old named Samantha (Angie McCright) but he steers her toward Kelly, much to Amanda’s chagrin. Ahmad is the star dancer, but he is challenged by another student named Derek (Jaime MacDonald-Harkins), so a dance-off is arranged for the next dance. Ahmad is reluctant to dance, so he tries to feign a leg injury. He confesses to Buttermaker that he already considers himself the #1 dancer and is afraid of losing that title. The Bears bet Derek that Ahmad will show up, and just as they are going to be forced to kiss Derek’s shoe, Ahmad does show up…ready to dance. NOTE: This was Gregg Forrest’s last episode as Kelly. 6/1/14
• 012. Fielder’s Choice – 6/23/1979
  • The Bears are one game away from getting into the championship against Roy Turner’s Lions team, and suddenly Lupus has a crisis of confidence. Even after he is repeatedly told the story of The Little Engine that Could, he feigns a leg injury to avoid playing. When Ogilve is injured, he agrees to get back out in right field but asks Ahmad to cover all of the balls that come to him. Eventually he makes the game-winning catch sending the Bears to the championship. 6/1/14

SEASON 2

• 013. Run Down – 9/15/1979
  • Rudi brings his father’s baseball signed by Johnny Bench (himself) to practice and it accidentally gets into the mix of balls used for practiced, and hit by Roy Turner down a sewer. Buttermaker claims to know Bench and tries to visit him at his hotel room, only to be thrown out. He and Amanda then work on forging a ball. Meanwhile Tanner, Ahmed, and Engelberg attempt to get into his hotel room but wind up in the suite of a honeymooning couple. Ogilve has the best idea and gets ahold of Bench to have him come visit his ‘sickly’ friend Rudi at Buttermaker’s apartment. Bench does in fact show up but soon it becomes obvious that he has been victim to their ruse. He doesn’t mind though, as he is happy to see his old friend Buttermaker, who did in fact know him when he played with Bench’s father in the minors. Bench invites the whole team to be his guests at the game that night. Larry Anderson plays the groom. Howard Honig is Warren. 8/17/14
• 014. Buttermaker Rides Again – 9/22/1979
  • At the horse races Emily asks Buttermaker to try and talk to Josh Matthews (Rad Daly), who has transferred in from another school but isn’t showing up for classes. Buttermaker makes a bet with him on the races and assumes he will show up at school to collect. He proves to be quite the con artist and talks his way out of a ticket for riding his go-kart on the street. Buttermaker sets up a series of bets including air hockey and basketball to try and get him back in school. Josh wins them all, but finally agrees to go to school since Buttermaker cares so much. Buttermaker still laments the losses for his own self-respect, and participates in the go-kart race with Josh and the rest of the Bears. Buttermaker finally wins. Amanda presents him with his trophy, despite her crush on Josh. 9/16/14
• 015. First Base – 9/29/1979
  • The Bears are getting ready for a party at Buttermaker’s apartment. Amanda helps them all hook up with girls, but Regi is too shy to be around women…until he bumps into Roy Turner’s daughter Wendi (Tonya Crowe) and it is love at first sight. Turner forbids her from seeing Regi though, as he doesn’t want her around a juvenile delinquent who has stolen a car. The other Bears plan to sneak her out of her house for the party, while Buttermaker goes to talk to Turner and convinces him that the time has to come when he trusts his daughter. Turner tells her that since she is so trustworthy she can go to the party – not knowing the Bears are all hiding in the room – as long as he chaperones. The Bears are detained at the Turner house by the sprinkler system, and the party consists of Turner telling stories, the girls standing around waiting for the boys, and Regi and Wendi staring at each other longingly. When Amanda dances with Turner, Regi and Wendi sneak behind the couch and kiss, while the Bears watch from the window. 10/19/14
• 016. Wedding Bells: Part 1 – 10/6/1979
  • Amanda wakes up at Buttermaker’s from a nightmare about her mother being abducted by aliens. Through flashback, we see the events that led up to that point. Buttermaker accompanies Alice on an interview for the L.A. Dispatch with Mr. Entwistle (Peter Renaday) who is claiming that a U.F.O. will land in his back yard. Buttermaker talks her into abandoning the story and going roller skating. On the way there, they find out that Entwistle started a major fire and she has missed the story. While roller skating, Buttermaker accidentally forces her to crash into a popcorn vendor. She gives him the silent treatment at the next Bears game, despite Amanda’s efforts, until Buttermaker ends up proposing to her. While working on the wedding plans, Alice gets laid off and goes for an interview with an L.A. news magazine. She doesn’t get that job, but they offer to let her do a larger story in Cuba. She accepts the job and leaves for Cuba, leaving Amanda in the custody of Buttermaker. NOTE: This is a two-part episode, but the second part did not air in the proper succession. 11/19/14
• 017. The Birds, the Bees, and the Bears – 6/7/1980
  • Amanda wants to go to the dance with Josh, and Rudi wants to go with Marsha (Sherrie Willis), so they pretend to be interested in each other to make them jealous. Turner spies them together and tells Buttermaker that Amanda is hanging all over some boy. Rudi can’t get the courage to ask Marsha to the dance, and Amanda doesn’t think a girl should ask… but soon Marsha asks Josh and they go together. Amanda and Rudi agree to go together since he already has tickets. Buttermaker gives Rudi advice about being more aggressive with women, no know he is going with Amanda, while he tells Amanda to be resistant to boys’ pressure. Meanwhile the other Bears try to raise money for the dance by dirtying and then washing cars, destroying one man’s car in the process. At the dance Marsha is rude to Amanda, so Regi and Lupus staple her dress to the wall. When everyone laughs at her, Rudi comes to her rescue and she admits that she like him. Josh, backed by Ahmed on guitar, sings Cinderella Love, which causes all of the girls to go crazy over him. However he chooses to share a dance with Amanda. 3/30/15
• 018. Lights Out – 6/14/1980
  • Engelberg steals Ogilve’s newspaper and bats it into a street light. At that exact moment the Valley experiences a blackout, which Ogilve convinces Engelberg, Regi, and Tanner that they caused…causing all three to run away together. As Buttermaker, Ogilve, and Amanda search for them, the boys try to hop a bus to Mexico and when caught, they take refuge in a biker bar. The leaders of the biker gang The Buzzards, Rust (Richard Moll) and Rose (Donna Ponterotto) take a liking to the boys and initiate them into their gang. When Buttermaker and the kids find them in the bar, the Buzzards protect them from being taken…but the kids rush to Buttermaker’s aid when Rust threatens him. Billy Sands plays a newspaper vendor. 11/18/14 
• 019. Wedding Bells: Part 2 – 6/21/1980
  • Amanda moves in with Buttermaker and immediately begins to worry that she is crowding him when her hamster Lowell escapes and Buttermaker breaks his TV in trying to catch it. Buttermaker is also extremely uncomfortable on the couch. She doubles her efforts in trying to make the house livable, rearranging the furniture and making him cabbage rolls, which he obviously hates. She temporarily moves in with Regi, who seems to live in a paradise, performing musical numbers with his family and having a huge arsenal of toys. Amanda expresses her bitterness about Buttermaker letting her mother leave, but he explains that he had to let her do what she wanted. Amanda hints at coming home, and then Buttermaker surprises her with her own room, having cleaned out and decorated his utility room. NOTE: This is the second of a two-part episode. 12/31/14
• 020. Matched Set – 6/28/1980
  • Many of the Bears are preparing to enter the annual parent/child tennis tournament, but they feel they have no hope against Roy Turner and his son Joey, who have won the last two years. They convince Amanda and Buttermaker to enter the contest and they both agree and start practicing. Buttermaker slowly gets himself back into shape, but their plans are nearly de-railed when Josh asks Amanda to go to a concert on the day of the finals. Amanda fakes an ankle injury so Buttermaker gets Lupus to step in since he wasn’t in the tournament. Lupus performs miserably, but in the nick of time Amanda shows up to play and Josh shows up to support her. The teams end up in a tie-breaker with Buttermaker and Amanda eventually getting the winning point. All is well until Amanda sees Josh walking off with her biggest competition Marsha. 2/16/15
• 021. Old Timers’ Day – 7/12/1980
  • Ahmad’s Grandfather Henry (Irvin Mosely Jr.), a former member of the professional baseball Negro League, is visiting and Ahmad is getting tired of being followed around by him. He asks Buttermaker to talk to him, but Buttermaker gives him a job as third base coach. During the next game, Henry makes a few errors that costs the Bears the game, including telling Ahmad to head home when he couldn’t beat the throw to home. Ahmad gives his grandfather the cold shoulder until he is ready to pack up and leave. Buttermaker talks him into participating in Old Timers Day, during which the Bears will play Buttermaker, Frosty, and some of the grandparents of the kids. The score is pretty close when Grandpa Henry falls. Ahmad rushes to his aid and the two reconcile on the field. Christopher St. John plays Ahmad’s father and Betty A. Bridges is his mother. Ben Frommer is Grandpa Wally. 10/19/14
• 022. Scrambled Eggs – 7/19/1980
  • Buttermaker catches the kids hitchhiking to San Diego to attend a Rod Stewart concert, and grounds Amanda for two weeks and makes the others tell their parents. They all give him the cold shoulder, but Dr. Rappant talks to their parents to get them out of their punishments… if they agree to each babysit an egg for a week. They take the job seriously and only agree to attend a Roller Derby with Josh if Amanda will babysit all of their eggs. When Roy Turner stops by and tosses a phone book at the eggs, Amanda’s breaks. She then realizes how much Buttermaker really cares for her… especially when the egg hatches and a chicken comes out. Buttermaker admits that he bought the Roller Derby tickets to get Amanda alone, and that he also switched the egg. 3/30/15
• 023. Double Play – 7/26/1980
  • Buttermaker consults his accountant Ogilve to find out that he’s broke, and even worse, he can’t get Amanda the new bike that she wants for her upcoming birthday. He accepts an offer to go work for Roy Turner’s real estate firm and is able to make an easy sale to the gullible Tucker couple, Ed (Wayne Tucker) and Barbie (Cathy Karp). Meanwhile the Bears try to help him revive the pool business by gathering him new clients. They spend most of their time cleaning the pool at the home of Edith Augenblick (Kelly Britt), but naturally they all wind up in the pool. Amanda is upset that Buttermaker won’t share the fact that they’re broke, so when finally does, it makes her happy that they are acting as a team. He presents Amanda with a refurbished bike which she loves. Rudi is finally able to get Buttermaker to fall for an exploding cigar. 2/16/15
• 024. The Good Life – UNAIRED 1980
  • Ogilve decides that he is in love with Dr. Rappant, and her encouragement when he reads his entry in a poetry contest seems to reinforce a return of affection. Meanwhile when Buttermaker suggests that Roy Turner stand up to his wife by smoking inside, he gets kicked out. Roy insists that Buttermaker take him out to meet woman at a nightclub, and they meet a lady named Laura (Susan Cotton), but she is more interested in Buttermaker. When Laura’s friend shows up, it turns out to be Emily Rappant, who now becomes the object of Turner’s affection as well. Ogilve and Turner show up courting Emily at the same time. Emily has to convince Ogilve that she is still playing the field, while pretending to want a long-term relationship with Roy, which sends him running back to his wife. 12/31/14
• 025. The Pride of the Bears – UNAIRED 1980
  • When Tanner destroys some of the girls’ kites, Amanda attacks him and wins the fight. This causes a feud between the boys and the girls. Tanner seeks advice from Buttermaker and decides to wage war, which Rappant puts a stop to. She and Buttermaker decide that the boys and girls should enter an Olympic style sporting contest to settle their dispute. The boys and girls are neck and neck in the contest, but based on advice from Buttermaker, Amanda tries to make peace with Tanner… which he refuses. Amanda and Tanner are running the final race when Amanda falls and hurts her knee. Tanner stops the race and assists her, and the two, agreeing to be friends again, cross the finish line hand in hand. Allison Bergman is Barbara, Gina Smika is Marilyn. 8/17/14
• 026. The Headless Ghost of MacKintosh Manor – UNAIRED 1980
  • The Bears talk Buttermaker into taking them camping. Lupus is already scared to stay in the woods, but things are made worse when a storm hits while Buttermaker and Amanda are away fishing. The boys flee and begin telling ghost stories. Ahmad relates the tale of a former landowner in the area, Mr. MacKintosh, who had been beheaded by prospectors and still haunts the woods. Scared to death, the boys find an old house in which to take refuge which appears to be haunted thanks to a lot of noises and falling objects. At one point they spot what appears to be a headless man and Lupus attacks him. It turns out to be Roy Turner who has been leading the Woodchucks on a camping expedition. Buttermaker then shows up and tells Lupus how proud he is of him. 9/16/14

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