My friend Bob Satterfield would tell you that he has now been exonerated from feeling any guilt about the big pie fight at the Hollywood ’80 convention. He would tell you that I had my chance to get into another pie fight at the 2006 Sons of the Desert convention in Augusta, Georgia, so I have no right to be sore about not being able to get into the pie fight due to my age – or lack of it. But he would be wrong – and I have never let him live down the fact that the convention organizers set an age limit well beyond my eight years required to enter the pie fight.
Dad didn’t make much ado about the pie fight in his tiny brown memo book, where he simply jotted the events of Friday, August 1: Went to films in the morning. Went to pie fight in the P.M. Got back and tried to hit the dealers rooms, films, and date with a star at the same time. Went to mixer at about 7:30.
After having lunch on our own after the morning’s films, we boarded a bus at 1:00 pm that took us to the North Hollywood High School. There on the football field awaited 1000 pies on large tables, sitting idle just waiting for some people to come along and hurl them at one another. These were real pies too. Real crusts, real pie filling in a variety of flavors, and real cream topping. The event was large enough – and strange enough – to invite lots of press including the nationally televised show Real People and its roving reporter Bill Rafferty. With one bus being late in arriving, convention co-host Earl Kress did everything he could to keep the press entertained.
When all was set and ready to go, my Dad and I watched the proceedings from a safe spot in the bleachers. I now kid Bob about not being able to participate, but I was genuinely heartbroken about not being included in this fun spectacle. But gosh, with no liability insurance on the event, I can certainly understand why an eight-year old in the center of this fracas would have been a concern. We sat near fellow tent member Helen Carter who was fearfully watching her husband Harry who was set to sling pies along with the rest.
Bob provided the Oliver Hardy look-alike and Martin Kauper was Stan Laurel in the opening routine that would set the stage for the melee to ensue. I remember thinking at the time how well Bob did with his Hardy impersonation. Laurel and Hardy co-star Anita Garvin Stanley, who actually played a part in their 1927 film Battle of the Century, the unsurpassable pie-fight film, even got into the act.
Martin Kauper and Bob Satterfield, impersonators extraordinaire
Anita Garvin gets into the act
Once the raging battle ensued, it only lasted a matter of minutes before all of the gooey, messy pies were thrown, smashed, and generally caked on to all of the participants. Sons of the Desert members who were involved still recall the difficulty in getting the pie filling out of their hair, the impossibility of getting it out of their clothes, and the locating of pieces of pie fruit in various bodily orifices long after the fight was over.
Goop everywhere
Fellow tent member Harry Carter, smeared in filling
Although I couldn’t participate, it was still a thrill to be there. As soon as the fight had abated, I took to the football field to survey all of the damage. I weaved in and out of the pie-drenched ladies and gentlemen now standing around chatting and yukking it up. Dad got a little irritated with me when I somehow returned with a huge glop of cherry filling affixed to my yellow baseball cap.
I take to the field (bottom right) to check this out
Scanning the damage, camera in hand, ready to cover my hat in some jam
In the all of human history, there would never be another pie fight of this magnitude as far as I am aware. The other pie fight that Bob now refers to as my missed opportunity was a feeble attempt at replicating this pie fight that occurred at the 2006 Augusta Sons of the Desert convention – which was on about one-tenth of the scale of the Hollywood pie fight. And they basically only used whipped cream in a shell. You can see more of that fiasco here.
My photo of Chuck McCann’s bespattered face…and you should have seen him after the pie fight
Chuck McCann signed my book later that day
We returned to the hotel about 4:30 and as Dad said, watched films, browsed the two dealers rooms, and attended the Date with a Star session, a gathering of the L&H supporting stars for questions and answers. Here I was able to add even more autographs to the growing collection in my little blue autograph book. We attended the mixer to the costume banquet, but as usual, we did not attend the banquet itself. Most likely I dragged my Dad to one of the film rooms, in the hopes that at least one of them would be showing the scheduled films.
Saturday, August 2, was our last day at the convention and it was a rather slow day. Dad penned the following in his Memo Book: Went to films in the morning & early aft. Went to the Meet the Celebs in the aft. After eating supper, we went to the mixer for the banquet. Brad has go a lot of autographs.
My first encounter with future friend Dickie Bann on August 2
The Meet the Celebs session was surely the highlight of the day as I finished off my collection of Laurel and Hardy celebrities from this convention. The Grand Banquet was the final one of the convention, but again, we only attended the mixer and then had dinner on our own. I remember walking to the local McDonalds near the Hilton several times throughout the week. And as it was our last night, Dad probably corralled me back to the room rather early so we could catch our flight home the next morning – forgoing the Farewell Brunch.
It sounds too generic to say that Hollywood ’80 was the trip of a lifetime…but that’s exactly what it was. I had more experiences there during those five days that I still talk about – and brag about – than probably any other single event of my life. Of course, I’ve been lucky enough to have friends like Bob and Jimmy who put up with me making frequent treks back to Hollywood to try and re-live some of these memories as often as I can.
To follow the trail of celebrites from Friday and Saturday, click here…
I’ve been in a couple of pie fights (I staged one myself when I was in fourth grade for a Super 8 movie I was making) and frankly I don’t think you missed anything, except maybe getting seriously injured or trampled upon. They look more fun than they are–after the first pie hits you, you can’t wait to get all that glop out of your eyes and hair. And Anita said that when they made “Battle of the Century,” the pie filling in the hot October sun smelled something awful and attracted every bee in Southern California. I’ve always avoided events like this at the SOD conventions I’ve been to–usually because they’re also scheduled opposite an event that we historically-minded types want to attend. I might well have the Grand Banquet on a cassette tape here–I have hours of Hollywood ’80 events on tape.
Randy Skretvedt
November 24th, 2007
Nice socks.
Aaron
November 25th, 2007
Yeah, I remember that.
Carolyn Gelm
November 28th, 2007
Yes, what an event that was. AS for the fact that you were not in it, I have nothing to say. But that was a convention of a lifetime. We did our best to make it all that it could be. Not realizing that so many of the events and the people would never been duplicated again. I am still willing to hit you with a pie the next time I see you though.
Bob
December 1st, 2007