The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry

Theme music composed by Irving Szathmary 

• 001. Mr. Big – 9/18/1965
  • Agent 86 Maxwell Smart (Don Adams) is called away from an orchestra concert in Washington D.C. to report to the headquarters of CONTROL, a secret U.S. counter-intelligence agency, for his assignment from the Chief (Edward Platt). He is told to meet Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) at the airport and then to retrieve the stolen Inthermo, a weapon that can convert heat waves into a destructive power, that had been invented by Professor Hugo Dante (Vito Scotti). Mr. Big, agent of KAOS, the international organization of evil, has stolen it and is demanding one million dollars or he will begin to destroy large U.S. cities. Smart leaves with his dog K-13 (otherwise known as Fang, played by Red) and meets up with 99. The pair head to Dante’s lab and encounter his assistant Zelinka (Janine Gray), and a rubber banana that leads them to a novelty store where Mr. Big attempts to evaporate Smart with the Inthermo. Smart notes a fake garbage scow outside the window of the building, on which they find Mr. Big (Michael Dunn), a dwarf, and the Inthermo pointed at the Statue of Liberty. Dante is also on board and informs Smart and 99 that he rigged the Inthermo to detonate when it is fired. The ship, along with Mr. Big, are blown up, while Smart and 99 escape in a lifeboat. NOTE: This pilot episode is the only one that was filmed in black and white. 1/13/14
• 002. Diplomat’s Daughter – 9/25/1965
  • The Oriental arm of KAOS has been kidnapping blondes from the Hotel Cramley in an effort to capture Princess Ingrid of Scandanavia (Inger Stratton). Since Smart once saved her father’s life and she trusts him, he and Agent 99 are assigned to protect her. He picks up the latest gadgets from Professor Carleton (Frank DeVol) in the CONTROL lab before his mission: a 22 caliber cigarette lighter, a wrist communicator, and steel enforced shoes with secret compartments containing a concussion pellet, and cyanide pellet, and a smoke pellet. Although the princess wants to party, Smart and 99 take her on a more traditional tour of Washington D.C. The leader of the KAOS branch known as The Claw (or The Craw...) (Leonard Stone) sends his henchman Toto (Bill Saito) to capture the princess but is thwarted by the lighter gun. Smart follows Toto and gets captured by The Claw and his other henchman Bobo (Lee Kolimo). After a failed attempt at torturing him, Smart escapes into the Shanghai-a-Go-Go, a KAOS fronted nightclub, where 99 has taken the princess. There they incapacitate the henchmen and throw silverware at The Claw, which weighs down his magnetic prosthetic hand, leading to his capture. 1/14/14
• 003. School Days – 10/2/1965
  • Smart and 99 infiltrate the CONTROL school of espionage because it is known that there is a KAOS agent enrolled that is posing as a student. Smart also poses as a student using the name Loomis, and 99 pretends to be a teacher. There are three suspects, all new trainees: Dimitri (Philip Roth), Grillak (Leo Gordon), and Zukor (Henry Brandon). Smart’s cover is blown when he is caught blowing up a safe, so he confesses his identity to Dean Watson (Bryan Marrow) and Hillary Gainsborough (Ben Wright), a visitor from London’s CONTROL branch. After someone attempts to kill Smart, he and 99 begin to investigate discrepancies between suspects’ CONTROL files and school files. That leads nowhere so Smart purposely lets it slip that he is an agent, hoping to smoke out the spy. He and 99 are knocked out and tied up, but they are saved by Fang. He gathers all suspects into a room and accuses and makes them account for the discrepancies, which they all do. Blindly he then accuses Hillary, and miraculously Hillary confesses to being the spy. Robert Karvelas makes his first uncredited appearance; he would later go on to play Larrabee. 1/17/14
• 004. Our Man in Toyland – 10/9/1965
  • European KAOS agents are smuggling secrets regarding the U.S. anti-missile program called Operation Skyblast out of the country through Bower’s Department Store. Max, Agent 99, and other agents go undercover in the store. While Max follows suspect in a plaid suit to a restaurant, the spies running the store catch the undercover agents and kill most of them. 99 avoids getting caught and when Max returns, they connect, and she tells him that she’s discovered that they are sending talking dolls out of the country with the spies’ tape-recorded secret messages. Fang takes one of the dolls with a message from Max and brings it to the Chief, who sends reinforcements. Smart and 99 are able to hold the spies at bay by winning a gunfight with them…using only toys. Bryan O’Byrne appears as Hodgkins. 1/17/14
• 005. Now You See Him, Now You Don’t – 10/16/1965
  • Max is visited at his home by Dr. Carl Haskell (Gregory Morton), who claims to have invented a ray gun that turns people invisible before he was kidnapped by KAOS but escaped. Carrying a briefcase that contains the plans for the gun, invisible gunmen invade Smart’s home and force Haskell out at gunpoint. Smart gets a ransom note demanding 10 million dollars or the plans will be sold to a rival government. Max’s apartment is booby-trapped and Agent 99 is watches from afar, but the KAOS agents end up taking both Max and 99 back to their hideout. There Max meets Ehrlich (Joseph Ruskin) and some invisible agents, but it is revealed that the ‘invisible agents’ are merely created with wires and speakers. Max believes that he has made himself invisible, but it turns out that the ray gun is a complete fraud. 99 is also taken to the hideout. Max takes the KAOS agents back to his house to retrieve the ransom money, where after several misfires, he is able to capture them when 99 hits one of them and the other is sucked through the vacuum chimney. 2/7/14
• 006. Washington 4, Indians 3 – 10/23/1965
  • American Indians attack a civilian bus to give a message to one passenger, CONTROL Agent 43 (Monroe Arnold), that they will declare war on the United States if all of their land isn’t given back. After alerting all of the heads of the military, it is decided that Smart will infiltrate their reservation in Arizona to find out more information. Smart, 99, and 43 are detained by Running Creek (Armand Alzamora), who is betrothed to Chief Red Cloud’s (Anthony Caruso) daughter White Cloud (Adele Palacios), They overpower him, and Smart takes his clothes and poses as Running Creek to get onto the reservation. White Cloud knows he’s a fake, but still wants to marry him. Smart escapes her clutches but is caught by Red Cloud who attempt to assassinate him – when a jealous 99 shows up and rescues him. Smart realizes that the United States did in fact cheat the Indians out of their land, so allows the missile to be detonated. The ‘missile’ turns out to be nothing more than a giant arrow, but it does hit the West Wing of the White House. Red Cloud is given a government appointment in charge of Indian Affairs. 2/8/14
• 007. KAOS in CONTROL – 10/30/1965
  • CONTROL is getting ready to host a team of brilliant scientists, but the Chief and Hodgkins fear that there is a mole who has been trying to break into the conference room. He contacts Smart, who serves as the head of internal security, to examine the room. He visits Windish’s (Robert Cornthwaite) laboratory to get supplies and is shown a Retrogressor gun that causes its victims to revert to themselves as eight-year-olds. While Smart and 99 are investigating the conference room, one of the agents steals the Retrogressor and uses it on both Windish and the Chief. When the scientists show up, Smart obscures the fact that the Chief now has the personality of a child and lets them into the conference room. Windish’s assistant Ratchik (Ed Peck) tips off Smart that Alma Sutton (Barbara Bain) might be the spy, but when they find her, she herself is jumping rope and talking about watching Captain Kangaroo, so they assume that Ratchik is the spy. However, Smart realizes that an eight-year-old Alma wouldn’t know Captain Kangaroo, so Smart wrestles the gun away from her and makes the arrest. 3/12/14
• 008. The Day Smart Turned Chicken – 11/6/1965
  • On the eve of Smart’s big testimony against KAOS, he is visited by a cowboy (Simon Oakland) with a knife in his back. Before he dies, he tells Smart of a plot to assassinate the Morovian ambassador (George J. Lewis) at a masquerade party at the embassy. Smart calls the Chief to come to his apartment, but when he gets there, the cowboy has disappeared. The Chief leaves and the cowboy re-appears, now alive, followed by a Dr. Fish (Howard Caine) – who claims to be trying to find the apartment of his neighbor Mrs. Dawson (Iris Adrian) – and then declares the cowboy dead…but then the cowboy disappears again. This proves to all be a ruse by KAOS to make Smart appear unstable, and when he shows up at the embassy in a chicken outfit, he does appear to be crazy to all concerned. During the testimony, witnesses testifying that Smart is crazy include Mrs. Dawson, the Morovian ambassador, a man present at the embassy, and even the Chief (whose first name is revealed to be Thaddeus). Smart then realizes that the man present at the embassy was actually the cowboy. When Smart announces this, the man pulls a gun and escapes out of the window of the courtroom and falls five stories to the ground. 3/14/14
• 009. Satan Place – 11/13/1965
  • As he is heading out for vacation the Chief is kidnapped while Smart tries to fix the car engine. The kidnappers are Harvey Satan (Joseph Sirola) and his henchman Rudolph (Len Lesser) and Gregor (Jack Perkins). Their intention is to extort $200,000 and then perform brain surgery on the Chief that will control his mind into serving KAOS. Smart makes the fake ransom drop off and tracks the location of the perpetrators to a compound known as Satan Place. Smart intercepts the surgeon Dr. Von Havoc and poses as him to gain entry into the operating room. The Chief is frozen solid in a surgery prep room, which gives Max the idea to spray the criminals with water and freeze them. They bring the Chief back to his office where he finds all of his belongings gone; they had been sold to raise the $600 they came up with for the ransom. The Chief’s “Zebra Mustang” makes its debut in this episode. 6/8/14
• 010. Our Man in Leotards – 11/20/1965
  • A breach at CONTROL headquarters yields the theft of the drug Immobilo, a paralyzing agent that can be counter-acted by eating a raw peach beforehand. Smart and the Chief deduce that the likely culprit is the leader of a dance troop visiting from the hostile country of Pinerovia. Agent 99 happens to already have infiltrated the troupe to keep an eye the leader Naharana (Michael Pate), who plans to use the agent to paralyze their ambassador (Don Hernando) before he signs a trade treaty with the United States. Smart makes contact with 99, and then poses as a dancer. He is quickly caught, but manages to escape to the ambassador to warn him. Smart is able to use the ring filled with Immobilo that he was provided by Windish to paralyze Naharana. As Smart is being congratulated by both governments, he manages to accidentally freeze everyone in the room, including 99 – whom he takes the opportunity to kiss while she is frozen. Robert Carricart is Julio. 6/14/14
• 011. Too Many Chiefs – 11/27/1965
  • CONTROL must protect a European witness named Tanya Lupescu (Susanne Cramer), who is capable of identifying key executives with KAOS. The Chief thinks that having her say at Smart’s place instead of a hotel would be safer. There is immediate sexual tension between them, and she kisses and flirts with Smart during her stay, much to the chagrin of Agent 99. The KAOS leader (Harry Basch) brings in ace assassin Alexei Sebastian, who is a master of disguise and capable of looking like anyone -including Johnny Carson, as seen in the Chief’s slideshow. In this case, he looks exactly like the Chief. Both Sebastian and the Chief both show up at Max’s house, but neither Smart nor 99 realize it, despite the fact that they keep getting their bourbon and buttermilk drink orders switched. Once Smart realizes that there are two ‘Chiefs’ in his house, he shines a light on Sebastian, causing him to blink rapidly. Smart remembers that Sebastian was reported to have sensitive eyes, and so he shoots him immediately. It turns out that everyone including the Chief blinks rapidly when Smart shines the light on them, but fortunately he did in fact get the right guy. Victor French appears as an insurance salesman. 8/25/14
• 012. My Nephew the Spy – 12/4/1965
  • Smart has been tracking the KAOS spy headquarters, not knowing that it is actually Larsen’s shoe store where he happens to be shoe shopping. The spies recognize him when his shoe phone begins ringing and the ‘salesman’ (Vincent Beck) orders the spy named Victor (Conrad Janis) to kill Smart. Smart escapes and returns to headquarters where the Chief informs him that his Uncle Abner (Charles Lane) and Aunt Berth (Maudie Prickett) are coming to visit and mustn’t know Smart’s true occupation. Victor tracks Smart to his house, but Smart overpowers him just as his aunt and uncle show up. Smart forces Victor to pretend he is an old friend, and when 99 shows up, she has to act like the maid, taking an undue amount of ordering from Aunt Bertha. Eventually Victor escapes and Smart follows him and is able to apprehend the spies, but not before he is followed by his Aunt and Uncle and is cornered into telling them that he works there and selling shoes to Abner. He and Bertha later read about the spy ring found at the shoe store and are concerned about Max’s future job. 8/28/14
• 013. Aboard the Orient Express – 12/11/1965
  • A CONTROL courier (Jack Donner) is killed by gassing en route to the Balkans on the Orient Express from Paris by a mysterious killer known as Krochanska, assisted by his partner Demetrios (Theodore Marcuse), who communicates to him via walkie-talkie. He was carrying to pay the salary of CONTROL agents stationed behind the Iron Curtain. Agent 99 volunteers to be the next courier, but Smart is forced into the job when he accidentally handcuffs himself to the suitcase. He is armed with a derby gas mask, a suitcase that will give an electric shock, and rocket shoes by Minelli (Del Close). Smart arrives in his Orient Express compartment and is soon joined by his accomplice Agent 44 (Victor French), a blind hat salesman man named Ernst (Bill Glover), a countess (Carol Ohmart), and 99 in disguise. Demetrios makes a play for the briefcase and manages to get it severed from Smart’s arm. Ernst turns out to be British Intelligence but is stabbed by Demetrios. Krochanska turns out to be Ernst’s seeing-eye dog and he is ordered to retrieve the case and drop a gas pellet in Smart compartment. The gas masks save Smart and 99. Demetrios is apprehended and Krochanska is adopted by a family. Johnny Carson guest stars as the train conductor. 9/21/14
• 014. Weekend Vampire – 12/18/1965
  • Max is playing chess with Agent #52 (Don Ross) in the laboratory when he suddenly hears music and finds 52 dead with two punctures in his neck, resembling vampire bites – the third CONTROL death of its kind. The head of the lab, Professor Sontag (Ford Rainey) acts suspicious and Max and 99 overhear him talking to his predecessor Dr. Drago (Martin Kosleck), who had been fired from CONTROL for unauthorized experiments. Max and 99 follow Sontag to the creepy old home of Dr. Drago and his henchman Hugo (William Baskin), and check in as newlyweds after they see Drago about ready to get into a coffin. They eventually learn that Drago enters his lab through the coffin, and he has developed an instrument that when a certain note is hit will shoot two small ice pellets. This is what has killed the agents, the motive being that all three testified against him. Hugo overpowers Smart and takes his gun from him, but Sontag – who has become suspicious of Drago – shoots Drago, who then accidentally shoots Hugo with the ice pellets. Drago and Hugo are arrested. 9/22/14
• 015. Survival of the Fattest – 12/25/1965
  • Max is sent to protect a Prince Sully (Dan Seymour), an Arabian prince who is trying to elevate his weight to 300, at which time his citizens will donate his weight in gold. If he fails, an anti-American rival faction will take over the country. He is kidnapped under Smart’s nose by a female powerhouse named Mary Jack Armstrong (Karen Steele). Max subjects himself to interrogation so that he can remember details about the kidnapping that he witnessed. Outfitted with a truth serum and tracking device, Smart is visited by Armstrong but she tricks him into talking the truth serum. She kidnaps him and takes him to the location where the prince is being held and forced to lose weight. Smart is able to turn on his tracking device and is rescued by CONTROL agents. The chief seems to have a past with Mary Jack. The prince fails to gain the necessary weight, but he is made an idol and his entire country begins reducing. He sends Smart an exotic dancer as a thank you gift. Milton Selzer makes his first appearance as Parker. Mary’s helpers Carla and Rhonda are played by Tanya Lemani and Patti Gilbert. 10/31/14
• 016. Double Agent – 1/8/1966
  • Max overhears that KAOS is trying to recruit him, so he and the Chief devise a plan so that he can become a double agent and spy on the group. He tries to make it appear that he is vulnerable to being paid off by trying to lose all of his money while gambling…which fails when he keeps winning. He also is seen a bar drinking heavily – although an Absorbo pill in his mouth guarantees he won’t get drunk. He shuns Fang and Agent 99, and hits the Chief with multiple bottles in order to appear in the gutter. When he accidentally swallows the Absorbo pill, he becomes drunk and KAOS takes him to recruit him. They kidnap 99 and order Smart to kill her. They try to escape through an air vent, and Smart injures the KAOS men …but it turns out that all four of them are also double agents working for friendly governments. Meanwhile Parker attempt so make intricate listening devices. The first is a mechanical fly that Smart smashes. The second is a fake light bulb that Smart smashes while trying to kill a real fly. Arthur Batanides, Dave Barry, and Clay Tanner are the fake KAOS agents. 11/1/14
• 017. Kisses for KAOS – 1/15/1966
  • Three government buildings, each containing information that could implicate KAOS, are blown up and in each is found pieces of paintings by an artist known as Rex Savage (Michael Dante). He and his partner Mondo (John Abbott) are operating out of an art gallery with Mondo providing the painting and Savage creating the exploding paint. Max and 99 visit the gallery, and 99 poses as Melissa Westbrook, and goes on a date to Lovers Lane with Savage, with Max jealously following them with an Inflato-girl, much to the chagrin of a police officer (Ray Kellogg) who arrests him. 99 invites Savage to dinner at Max’s apartment, which will be rigged by a soup plate that takes pictures, a dinner roll that will gather fingerprints, and a fruit bowl to record his voice. Max, posing as the butler, continually interrupts them from kissing. Mondo finds out Smart’s identity and shows up and forces 99 to paint Max with the exploding paint, but she throws the paint on the floor so no one can move. The Chief rescues them and Max paints his apartment with paint from the gallery, which naturally explodes. 11/28/14
• 018. The Dead Spy Scrawls – 1/22/1966
  • Smart and 99 are told by Agent 46 (Clive Wayne) to bring $2000 to a bus station, but when they arrive he is immediately shot by a KAOS agent named Stryker (Leonard Nimoy), who escapes. Stryker returns to Mother’s Family Pool Hall where his boss Shark (Jack Lambert) is an ace pool player, and one of his trick shots opens up the pool table which contains an electronic coding machine. Before 46 dies, he writes a coded message in wet cement that indicates the phone number of an informant (Don Brodie). Smart arranges to meet the informant also, who is then shot by Sryker, giving Smart enough clues to find the pool hall. The Chief brings in pool champion Willie Marconi (Harry Bartell) to coach Smart, but it is only a remote controlled cue ball operated by 99’s lipstick that makes his playing acceptable. He challenges Shark to a game, and during the course of play, the trick shot happens to be set up on the table, which opens up the table. Smart shoots Stryker with a shotgun pool cue, and 99 guides a cue ball to knock out Shark, and the decoding machine is ultimately retrieved by CONTROL. Roy Engel is the vendor. 11/28/14
• 019. Back to the Old Drawing Board – 1/29/1966
  • KAOS Agent Mr. Natz (Ted de Corsia) hires scientist Dr. Ratton (Jim Boles) to utilize his seemingly invincible robot Hymie (Dick Gautier) to kidnap CONTROL scientist Dr. Alonzo Shotwire (Patrick O’Moore) and Smart, who is guarding him. Hymie takes out new Agent 91 (Bruce Gibson), and uses 91’s pass-phrase to accompany Smart and 99 to a party where they will be guarding Shotwire. They meet a depressed Agent 44 there as well and Hymie knocks him out. Back at CONTROL, Agent 91 recovers and tells the Chief what happened, but Hymie destroys Smart’s phone watch before he can be notified. Despite short circuiting, Hymie kidnaps Smart, 99, and Shotwire and takes them to Natz and Ratton, but when Ratton orders him to kill Smart, Hymie turns on him and shoots him instead and knocks out Natz, having been touched by the fact that Smart treated him like a person. Hymie is offered a job with CONTROL, but he turns it down because he doesn’t like violence, and would rather work for IBM where he can meet other machines. 1/10/2015
• 020. All in the Mind – 2/5/1966
  • Smart gets a call from Miss Sloan (Merry Anders), a secretary for the distinguished Dr. Myron Braam (Torin Thatcher), who reports that Braam is working for KAOS. While she is on the phone, she is drowned inside the phone booth. After getting debriefed by Dr. Steuben (Robert F. Simon) on how to appear emotionally disturbed, Smart goes undercover for counseling with Braam, with 99 acting as his wife. Braam tape records the session as Smart leaks false information about a space vehicle, while 99 searches the outer office. When Braam leaves the office, Smart locates the tape recorder. Braam catches Smart searching and he and his partner Markovich (King Moody) chase them into the phone booth, which begins to fill with water. As it fills, 99 realizes she can cut the glass with her diamond ring and they are able to capture Braam and Markovich. Janet Waldo is the voice of the telephone operator. 1/10/2015
• 021. Dear Diary – 2/12/1966
  • Smart is called to visit retired Agent #4 Herbert Gaffer (Vaughn Taylor), who is living in a spy retirement village known as Spy City and would like to turn over his diary in which he documented many CONTROL secrets over the years. Gaffer is kidnapped while Smart is visiting. 99 obtains the plans for Spy City but it is burned by the Magna Lamp. Smart and 99 are given a tour of the Spy City museum by retired lab man Professor Bush (Byron Foulger) where Gaffer is actually hidden in plain view on the torture rack. They then interview Gaffer’s friends and former colleagues Agnes Davenport (Ellen Corby) and George Newfield (William Keene), but neither know about the diary. Smart contacts Agent #8 (Bert Mustin) who gives Smart the clue “Birds of a feather flock together.” Smart suspects that one of retirees is a double agent and has them all look at anything relating to birds at Spy City. They track footsteps back to the museum and finally figure out that Gaffer is on the rack. He tells them the location of the diary near a feather in the museum. Bush reveals himself to be the double agent and Smart shoots him with an umbrella. Ted Gehring is Bush’s assistant Mace, who is shot by Bush when Smart captures him. 3/4/15
• 022. Smart, the Assassin – 2/19/1966
  • A KAOS agent makes an attempt on the Chief’s life at the private Regency Club where he and Max are playing chess. His life is saved by valet Cedric Devonshire (Murray Matheson), who is in fact a KAOS agent himself leading a pair of agents (Tony Lo Bianco, Ken Scott) who kidnap Smart. Devonshire gives Smart a pill that brainwashes him to kill the Chief when the Chief says the word ‘checkmate’ during their game of chess. Devonshire tires to let Smart escape without rousing suspicion and sends in female agent Shirley (Eileen O’Neill) to seduce him and give him the keys to the cell, which Smart discards. Another agent goes in and intentionally turns his back on him, but Smart is more concerned that he has brought him poison food. Finally, they allow him to escape by letting him use his karate. Smart and the Chief return to the Regency to play chess, but this time Smart has read a primer on how to win chess. It takes him 45 minutes to make his first move. Hours go by and eventually the Chief is getting ready to win when a nervous Devonshire instinctively yells out “Checkmate!” and is shot by Max. 3/4/15
• 023. I’m Only Human – 2/26/1966
  • Agent 73 (Logan Field) becomes the latest victim in a series of CONTROL agents who are killed by their own dog. The Chief deduces that KAOS is brainwashing the dogs at the Washington Animal Spa, where many dignitaries take their dogs. Smart talks the Chief into sending in Fang, who has been put on inactive duty, so he and 99 take Fang and a parrot, Agent B17, to the spa. Fang is wearing a TV transmitter on his collar, and when he loses connection, Smart and 99 go to investigate. They are caught by two KAOS agents (Oscar Beregi Jr., Gregg Palmer), one of them who has brainwashed Fang, who incapacitate Smart and 99 and leave behind a bomb that will detonate at the sound of Fang’s bark as soon as the Chief arrives to save them. Smart speaks in German to sound like the ‘beastmaster’ and directs Fang to drop the bomb in the elevator shaft and then to bark, ostensibly killing the KAOS agents who have retreated to the basement. 4/15/15
• 024. Stakeout on Blue Mist Mountain – 3/5/1966
  • Smart meets the Chief, 99, and 44 at the Washington airport to stakeout KAOS agents who are flocking in from other countries each carry a similar suitcase. Smart manages to get the suitcase and the KAOS agent Nealis (Lew Gallo) is taken into custody where he lets it slip that the other agents (including Ted Knight and Jason Wingreen) will be meeting on Blue Mist Mountain. Parker deduces that the metal piece inside the suitcase is one of many pieces of a larger device. Smart infiltrates the KAOS cabin, delivers the part, and learns that they are going to detonate a bomb, thus making it appear like the company has violated the nuclear testing ban. They are able to outsmart the KAOS agents and Smart disarms the bomb by getting his tie stuck in it. Jack Denton is a policeman. 4/15/15
• 025. The Amazing Harry Hoo – 3/12/1966
  • Smart trails a KAOS agent (Robert Ito) and nearly shoots him before 99 stops him. The Chief informs Smart that they need this agent to lead them to the second-in-command, then the first, to stop a smuggling operation that is trying to get a formula for a tranquilizer gun out of the country. Smart meets up with Agent 56 at the Washington airport where the agent swiches shirts with the second-in-command Long Howe. Smart and 99 fall into the trap of The Claw and Bobo by following Howe to San Francisco. The Claw has Howe killed, which brings in the famous former-Hawaiian detective Harry Hoo (Joey Forman) and he and Smart match wits in determining what exactly took place. Smart finds a laundry ticket on Howe and goes to the laundry where he and 99 encounter the Claw who attempts to torture smart into telling him which agents CONTROL is onto by putting his head in steam press. Hoo comes in at the last second and saves Smart and the Claw and Bobo are arrested. Smart deduces that five KAOS agents from Washington each carry a part of the formula that look like laundry etchings in their shirt, then they all meet at the laundry in San Francisco. James Millhollin is the ticket seller at the airport. Vince Howard is a police officer. 7/9/15
• 026. Hubert’s Unfinished Symphony – 3/19/1966
  • Smart and the Chief are undercover as Gregory Wilcox and Franklin Giles, music reporters, attending the concert of Rudolph Hubert (Andre Phillipe), who is actually a CONTROL agent who is going to reveal the name of Mr. Big, the new KAOS head man. Before they can speak to Hubert, he is shot and killed, but not before he adds some musical notes to his written unfinished symphony. As the Chief gets stuck in the portable cone of silence, Smart spies three different people enter Hubert’s dressing room: pianist Wolenska (John Myers), theater owner Badeff (John Myhers), and Badeff’s companion Nicola Darby (Sarah Marshall). Wolenska claims to want to play a tribute to Hubert by performing his final symphony. Badeff realizes that the last six notes of the symphony are B, A, D, E, F, and F – spelling out his name. Smart and 99 realize this later, but by then they are captured and tied up under the theatre, where it is rigged to have heavy items fall on them if they walk on the floor. Smart inflates his floating suit and is able to de-activate the floor. 99 shoots Badeff with a violin gun, and they are able to capture Badeff and his accomplice Nicola. Smart stops Wolenska from playing the piano on stage because it is rigged with a bomb, and ends up playing Chopsticks for the crowd. Richard Webb is the police Lieutenant. 7/10/15
• 027. Ship of Spies: Part 1 – 1/2/1966
  • Smart and the Chief stake out a waterfront bar to find a contact (Murray Alper) who will identify the ship on which the plans to a nuclear amphibian battleship out of the country. The contact is shot but reveals the ship to be the Evening Star sailing at midnight before he dies. As Max tries to find the shooter, he hears a distinctive clip-clop sound in the fog. On board the Evening Star, Max makes contact with Agents 44 and 99, who claims to be taking a vacation on the ship. Max identifies three suspects, each of whom make the same clip-clop sound he heard: dancer Conseula Merendez (Vivienne Ventura), who makes the sound with her castanets, Inspector Sehokian (Jan Arvan), who makes the sound with his cane, and wheelchair-bound Portuguese polo player, Hector Baccardo (Paul Lukather), who makes the sound with his wheelchair. Sehokian is murdered and reveals himself to be with international CONTROL. Smart investigates the upper deck for the murder, and after hearing the clip-clop sound is shot at and falls overboard. Harold J. Stone appears at Captain Groman. NOTE: Robert Karvelas now appears as Larrabee for the first time. NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. 9/7/15
• 028. Ship of Spies: Part 2 – 4/9/1966
  • 99 rescues Smart from the ocean with a life raft and rope and report their findings to the chief. The discover that the Captain’s Chinese assistant Ming (Fuji) wears wooden shoes that cause the clip-clop sound. Captain Groman pledges to help Max find the spy onboard, but it is revealed that he has a wooden leg that makes the same sound when he walks. Agent 44 summons Smart and 99 to the deck with a mysterious message, and reveals them between his crying fits that he overheard Baccardo and Conseula discussing the plans – which are not actually plans – together. Baccardo is able to walk just fine and attacks Smart with his wheelchair and is overpowered. Max tries to get Captain Groman to let him use the radio phone to report to the Chief, but then hears the sound he makes when he walks. During a shootout between Groman and Smart, the ship in a bottle is hit and it is revealed that the ship is actually a model of the battleship. All four spies – Groman, Ming, Boccardo, and Consuela – are arrested… and Max and the Chief manage to fall overboard. NOTE: This is the second of a two-part episode. 9/7/15
• 029. Shipment to Beirut – 4/23/1966
  • Smart is called by a model at Richelieu’s fashion salon notifying him that there are plans for a supersonic bomber being smuggled through the store. After mistakenly buying two dresses, he finally encounters the real contact Mildred Spencer (Judy Lang) who tells Smart that the plans are in the salon, but she is quickly escorted away by the store owner Richelieu (Lee Bergere) and his assistant Luchek (Allen Emerson). Max calls in an M-4 all-out mobilization raid, but when they locate Mildred, she is now a mannequin. The Chief thinking that Smart might be crazy relieves him of his duty. He engages 99 to pose as a model in the store, and she finds out that Mildred has been sprayed with a liquid plastic and turned into a mannequin, and that the plans are being smuggled to Beirut in the micro-threads of the garments being exported. Max poses as a a mannequin and overhears that 99 has been caught and sprayed with the plastic. He gets her to steam room to melt off the plastic and calls the Chief to stop the Beirut shipment at the airport. After officially reprimanding both Smart and 99, the Chief unofficially congratulates them on a job well done. Alice Reinheart is Hilda. Tim Herbert is an attendant. 12/6/15
• 030. The Last One in Is a Rotton Spy – 5/7/1966
  • When Agent 81 (Dave Cameron) is killed by Russian agent Greco (John Milford), 81’s Russian lover Verna Tsganakov contacts Smart by phone and tells him that she has a list of spies that 81 told her to pass on to Smart if anything happens to him. Smart can’t find a pencil to write her name down but knows she and her Russian swim team will be practicing for a meet at the International Sports Club. Smart, the Chief, and 99 infiltrate the club and pose as American swim trainers and meet the Russian team Myrna (Victoria Carroll), Vana (Barbara Spanek), Rena (Elisa Ingram), and Nina (Jayne Massey). Smart can’t remember the name of his contact since all of them sound so much alike. He attempts to meet his contact under the watchful eye of Greco and the advances of their swim coach Verna (Alice Ghostley). An attempt to retrieve the contact list at the bottom of the pool fails, and when she tries to pass it off into his sandwich, he eats it. Eventually the contact passes the contacts to him in his pocket as a ruckus ensues when Verna is making a pass at him. Smart returns to protect his contact as he promises, when the coach Verna reveals that it is her. Greco pursues Smart and they fight underwater in the pool. Greco accidentally shoots his assistant with a harpoon, and Smart shoots Greco with his inflatable horse. 12/6/15

SEASON 2

• 031. Anatomy of a Lover – 9/17/1966
  • A KAOS agent is able to re-program the robot Hymie to attempt to kill the chief. Smart is ordered to dismantle Hymie, but Smart disobeys the order and brings Hymie to his home to re-program him, turning in a bag of parts that are supposedly those of a dismantled Hymie. Meanwhile the chief’s niece Phoebe (Laurel Goodwin) moves in across the hall from Max and starts to fall for Hymie, who is getting on Smart’s nerves with his constant cleaning thanks to being programmed for neatness. CONTROL agent Kirsch (King Moody) retrieves Max because the Chief has figured out that Hymie’s parts were actually those of a washing machine. The KAOS agent breaks into Smart’s apartment and re-programs Hymie again to kill Smart at a restaurant when he hears the words “the check please.” Hymie ends up shooting himself when it is he who says the words. The KAOS agent is revealed to be Kirsch, but Hymie turns on him when Kirsch flicks ashes on the floor. Smart explains that Hymie’s programming for neatness was stronger than his programming for evil. The Chief forgives Smart for stealing Hymie, but when Phoebe decides she is now in live with Max, the Chief tells her that he’d prefer she take Hymie. Larry Gallery is Phelps, Victor Fiore is the Spanish waiter. 2/5/16
• 032. Strike While the Agent Is Hot – 9/24/1966
  • While working with Smart in an attempt to catch a counterfeit ring, Agent 47 (Pat McCaffrie) is shot and killed. Before he dies he is able to not only give Smart a clue about the case, but also gives him the oath to take over as head union negotiator for the CONTROL agents. The clue is the title of a children’s book The Little Red Tractor that Huffed and Puffed and it leads him to a bookstore, where Smart is given a page number by the bookstore proprietor Madame Verna (Lisa Pera) and her KAOS partner (Dino Natali), who are surprised when Smart leaves the bookstore with the book. Smart returns to the store after efforts to decipher the page turn up nothing. A second KAOS agent (Alan Dexter) recognizes Smart as a CONTROL agent, so Verna sends them to retrieve the book from Smart, who is just as interested in negotiating the contract with the Chief as he is in the case. The KAOS agent reveals to Max that the page number in the book only symbolizes a shelf location in the bookstore. Max is able to overpower and shoot the agent, who dies as they are discussing the agent’s KAOS benefits. Smart and the Chief return to the bookstore and find the key to a locker where the counterfeit money is changing hands. KAOS agents interrupt their search, and with Max at gunpoint, the Chief is willing to give in to his contract demands before they go on strike at midnight. It turns out to be a ploy, since Max was ‘certain’ that the KAOS agent’s gun was actually empty. 2/5/16
• 033. A Spy for a Spy – 10/1/1966
  • At the chief’s birthday dinner, KAOS agent Siegfried (Bernie Kopell) stands in for a stage magician and literally makes the Chief disappear. Smart and his co-workers Agent Standish (Pitt Herbert), head of Administration, and Agent Carlson (Stacy Keach Sr.), head of the Lab, argue over who will be in charge during the chief’s absence. Siegfried calls Smart to arrange a meeting, and after they empty their bodies of all weapons, Siegfried demands that Smart give him the X-11 CONTROL defense device in exchange for the Chief. They attempt an exchange, but Max gives them a phony X-11… and Siegfried delivers a dummy of the Chief. Smart retaliates by kidnapping their head assassin Karl Danker (James Lanphier), to which Siegfried then begins kidnapping CONTROL agents, as Smart kidnaps KAOS agents until Siegfried and Smart are the only agents left for either side. They arrange an exchange of the busload of prisoners until everyone gets their agents back. However Siegfried kidnaps the CONTROL bus driver, so they have no ride home. Barbo Hedstrom is Ms. Dvorchek. 5/3/16
• 034. The Only Way to Die – 10/8/1966
  • Max spies on KAOS agents Christopher (Alex Hassilev) and Stromberg (Harry Basch) and finds out that they plan to release a ‘Blaster’ that will destroy the IRS building, which is being smuggled on with ‘the Lover’. Max is caught by the spies, and during a shootout, Smart is shot and declared dead. Agent 99 is inconsolable, but it is revealed that Max is alive and dressed as a female mourner at the funeral, playing dead so that the agents will not fear that their cover has been blown. As Smart hides out in an abandoned shack, the Chief reveals that KAOS has been successful in blowing up national monuments for the past five years, but they have been rebuilt overnight by a group of 6000 men. Smart also finds out that 99 is on assignment entertaining Spanish KAOS agent Antonio Carioca (Edmund Hashim), and notes that Carioca is always in town around the time that the Blaster strikes. When Smart finds out that Carioca’s yacht is named El Amador, he translates this from Spanish to ‘the lover’. Smart calls headquarters and relays this information to Agent Hobson (Gordon Jump), but Hobson thinks it is a fake since Smart is ‘dead’. Smart sneaks aboard the yacht where Carioca is romancing the grieving 99, and manages to apprehend him, finding out that Carioca has been detonating the bombs remotely from his yacht, always in the presence of an unknowing 99. In the process of explaining this to the chief, Smart accidentally blows up the IRS building. 5/3/16
• 035. Maxwell Smart, Alias Jimmy Ballantine – 10/15/1966
  • Max and 99 stake out the barber shop of Jerry Dobring (Howard Morton), which is regularly frequented by government officials. Here Dobring and his men Popov (Vic Tayback) and Rex record the secrets that the agents reveal, while also committing robberies to fund KAOS. Knowing that Dobring has planned to secure the services of ace safecracker Jimmy Ballantine (Tim Herbert) who is about to be released from prison, the Chief assigns Max to stand-in for Ballantine wearing bandages over his face. Ballantine wants to go straight, so the warden (Steve Pendleton) arranges to allow Ballantine to give Max some pointers on how to pick locks beforehand. Max bumbles through the training, so the Chief arranges for all banks in the area to keep their vaults unlocked. Max finds out from Agent 13 that they plant to force him to open the safe at the Federal Reserve Bank and the kill him. During the robbery Max is surprised when the safe actually opens. When x tries to shoot Max, the bullet ricochets off his bulletproof head bandages and hits Popov. Max subdues Rex with his head, while Dobring is caught outside by CONTROL agents. Max is confident that he had cracked the dafe, but 99 tells him that the safe was left unlocked. Eager to prove he can crack safes, Max closes the vault, locking the Chief inside. 8/7/16
• 036. Casablanca – 10/22/1966
  • A witness named Dr. Pliny (Damian London) is strangled at an airport while in Max’s protective custody. CONTROL cannot locate the “Choker” (Morton Jacobs) and assume that he must have left on a plane to Casablanca. The Chief thinks Max needs a respite so he sends him on vacation to Quebec, but Smart doubles back and boards the plane to Casablanca, where Agent 99 has been put in charge of the investigation posing as nightclub singer at the Bent Parrot Cafe, a melting pot of criminals and headquarters of the Choker. 99 recognizes Smart, but she believes he is in Canada, so she and Smart becomes suspicious of each other. 99 is ready to kill Smart, until she realizes that he is in fact Max. The choker, who doubles as the bar’s piano player, appears and attempt to kill them both, but Max foils his plan by wearing a fake neck. Smart does his Humphrey Bogart impersonation so that no one will recognize him. Paul Frees provides the voices of the Greenstreet and Lorre characters. Agent 99 sings There’ll Be Some Changes Made and La Vie en Rose. Lou Wills Jr. is cab driver Andrew Bubinski.  8/7/16
• 037. The Decoy – 10/29/1966
  • The CONTROL secret code has been cracked by KAOS, so all communication is to stop until new codes can be delivered to their communications center in Greenland. An agent known only as X from the European branch is set to leave for Greenland, and Smart accepts the assignment as serving as a decoy to divert KAOS attention. Agent Carlson briefs Max on how to stand up to torture devices. 99 says her goodbyes to Max and sure enough he is picked up newsstand attendant Hugo and taken to a KAOS location. Although his henchmen Seidlitz (John McLiam) and Luden (Len Lesser) want to use torture methods, head KAOS agent Kimmel (Gilbert Green) prefers to try and have female agent Greta (Sheila Leighton) seduce him. When that fails, they try and use truth syrum, but Smart only recites multiplication tables. All the while the Chief and 99 are standing by waiting for X to make his drop. Once he does, Seidlitz kills Kimmel, and Luden kills Seidlitz. Max overpowers Luden and CONTROL agents barge in and arrest Luden. Norman Burton is a CONTROL agent. 10/15/16
• 038. Hoo Done It – 11/5/1966
  • Smart and 99 are assigned to visit Tuwana, an island gateway to Hawaii, to meet Colonel Forsythe, a retired British officer with information about a KAOS plot. They arrive at the Hotel Tuwana Conrad and meet up with its owner Milton Conrad (Anthony Eustrel) who then departs for the mainland. Forsythe is celebrating a birthday when they first meet him, and the cake explodes and kills him. Max sends for an investigator and they get famous detective Harry Hoo, who insists that everyone in the hotel including Max and 99 are suspects. Among the guests are adventurer Ben Gazzman (Bob Michaels), Swiss watch maker Arthur Von Werener (Tol Avery), Contessa Dorina Montenegro (Maureen Arthur), and Lebanese spy Omar Shurok (Peter Frank). Agent 99 leaves the island, and one by one the suspects start to get killed. When it is only Smart and Hoo remaining, they assume that the other is guilty and eventually shoot each other. It is then revealed that Conrad never left the island and has been the killer, his motive that all parties were KAOS defectors. However when Max reveals that he and Hoo really only used blanks when they shot each other, Conrad realizes that he can pull his gun. 99 returns just in time and shoots Conrad. 10/16/16
• 039. Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Spies in a Sub – 11/12/1966
  • After botching a practice mission because Max couldn’t get the assignment envelope opened, he and 99 are briefed on their next assignment by the Chief and logistics men Admiral Jones (Russ Grieve) and Admiral Nelson (Jack Rigney). They are to be taken to an island where KAOS agents have a computer that regulates information for them that allows them to hijack ships using their submarine technology. The spies are taken to the island via their own sub and succeed in blowing up the computer. However when they re-board their sub, they find that they have actually boarded a KAOS submarine headed by Siegfried, who plans to bomb CONTROL battleships. The Chief must make the difficult decision to destroy the ship even though it will cost Max and 99 their lives. On the sub, Max tries to convince Siegfried’s men to mutiny but ultimately they won’t bite. Siegfried releases oil from the sub, fooling the battleships into believing that the sub has been hit. He then puts Max and 99 into the torpedo cannons with the plan of shooting them to surface, and then blowing up the battleships when they come to retrieve the bodies. However, 99 hands off an exploding hammer to Smart, who threatens to blow up a sub torpedo if Siegfried doesn’t surrender. The sub surrenders and Siegfried is taken to jail. However, when Smart and 99 return to the CONTROL offices, they find that the Chief has already reassigned Smart’s number 86…and Siegfried has already escaped and vowed revenge on Smart. Ed Hice is Krueger. Bill Boyett is the Skipper. 1/15/17
• 040. The Greatest Spy on Earth – 11/19/1966
  • Max and 99 go undercover at the Farnum and Daley Circus after Agent 51 (Gordon Jump), disguised as a gorilla, is killed by a thrown knife while investigating KAOS using the circus to heist and smuggle diamonds. Posing as reporters, they interview Hanlon (Paul Dooley), the head of the circus, knife thrower Raymond (Victor Lundin) and his monkey Rudolph, half-man/half-woman Gertrude-Gerald (Mickey Manners), and strongman Hondo (Harry Vartersian). In the midst of their interviews, midget performer Tiny Allen (Billy Curtis) is killed and his body is found in his locked trailer. While searching for the diamonds and ready to enter the lion’s cage, Max and 99 are confronted by Hanlon, and all of his employees, all of whom are in on the heist. They are tied up and are going to be killed in an ‘accident’ at that night’s performance as they are used as human cannonballs. They manage to untie themselves by cutting their hand ropes on the buttons of Hanlon’s hanging outfit, the buttons actually being the diamonds. The spies are overpowered, but saved in the nick of time by the Chief and his men who are disguised as clowns. Smart figures out that it was the monkey Rudolph who had killed Tiny Allen. 1/16/17
• 041. Island of the Darned – 11/26/1966
  • The brutal KAOS agent Hans Hunter (Harold Gould) hunts down and kills CONTROL agent 27, then has him stuffed and sent back to the Chief. Max volunteers to track down to his location on the Caribbean Island of Moriva.  Max is given cigarette grenades and then he and 99 head to the island where they are quickly taken into custody by Hunter and his henchmen right away and told that they will be hunted until sundown and will only be set free if they can elude Hunter and his men. Smart is able to take out one henchman with a booby trap. He and 99 manage to cross a rickety swinging bridge and kill the henchman Igor (Charles Horvath) just before sunset, but are surprised to find that Hunter is on the other side of the ravine they just crossed. 99 is offered a chance to go with Hunter and be spared, but she declines… and asks for a final wish to have a cigarette. Max is able to blow Hunter away with one of the cigarette grenades in the nick of time. Seeing the bloody aftermath, 99 questions if they are any better than KAOS. 4/26/17
• 042. Bronzefinger – 12/3/1966
  • As Max and 99 prepare for a surprise birthday party for Agent 54 (Robert Patten), he stumbles into his apartment painted blue and then dies. The Chief tells Max that 54 has been working on a KAOS counterfeit art ring ran by an artist known as Rembrandt von Bronzefinger, and refers Max to visit the museum curator Mr. Van Cleff (Joseph Sirola) to see if Smart qualifies as an artist enough to work undercover at the museum where the artwork is being stolen. Smart is introduced to the the gallery specialist Emile (John Bliss), Wolfgang (Richard Karlan), and Victoria (Joan Patrick). 99 works as a museum guide, and Agent 13 hides behind the paintings, and reports that another painting has been stolen but is unable to identify the thief. Emile, Wolfgang, and Victoria each separately ask Max to stay late at the museum. Max finds Emile dead at his easel, Victoria painted dead, and just when he thinks Wolfgang is the culprit, he is shot dead by Van Cleff, who confesses to being Bronzefinger. He is able to overpower Max and 99 and places them in a vat to be bronzed. 99 uses a dagger to cut their ropes and Max kicks Van Cleff into the vat. Later Max finds 13 in the Chief’s safe, a cushier office job for him. 4/26/17
• 043. Perils in a Pet Shop – 12/10/1966
  • While chasing KAOS agent Kosovich (Johnny Seven), Max and 99 recover a parrot that the agent was about to kill, but the parrot keeps repeating the phrase “Kaos forver.” A lawyer named Creevley (Dick Wilson) attempts to protect the bird’s rights and presents a judge’s order that he take the bird with him. Max follows Creevley who passes the parrot off to a KAOS agent, who enters Kilmen’s Pet Shop. Smart uses Carlson’s computer to determine that Kilmen is an anagram for Melnik (Donald Murphy), the name of one of the top KAOS agents, determining that the pet store is a KAOS front. Smart, 99, and Fang visit the store and get the key from Agent 13, but they end up falling down a trap door and are captured by Melnik and Kosovich. Before they plan to kill them, Melnik admits that they are transporting secrets overseas through the parrots. 99 seduces Kosovich for a kiss before he kills them and manages to disarm as he and Smart shoot each other with tranquilizer guns. They then duke it out in slow motion, but Melnik returns and gets the gun from 99. The Chief and CONTROL agents bust in and arrest Kosovich. Leonard Breman is the newsdealer who hassles Max. 12/26/17
• 044. The Whole Tooth and… – 12/24/1966
  • While Max gets the Chief stuck in the cone of silence while asking for a $20 loan, the emergency alarm at CONTROL sounds, and 99 tells Max that KAOS has sabotaged a nuclear reactor in Chicago and that if they don’t fix it within 72 hours there will be a nuclear explosion. Max gets the instructions to fix it and it is hidden in a cap on one of his teeth. Max and 99 pose as a honeymooning couple and take the train to Chicago. Max is trailed by KAOS agents at the train station, so he removes the cap and puts into the mouth of a sleeping man, who happens to be a prisoner named Franco (Robert Strauss), who is on his way to Joliet Prison. Max deliberately tries to get himself arrested by refusing to pay a bill at a restaurant, but the waiter (Joseph Mell) and manager Mr. Schulman (Stuart Nisbet) feel bad for him and end up trying to take up a collection for him. He then tries to stick up a psychiatrist Dr. Rhinehouse (John Alvin), who only tries to diagnose Smart and give him his car. But when he rips up the card, he gets arrested for littering and ripping up the officer’s ticket book. The judge (Howard Wendell) only gives him a warning, but then sends him to prison for contempt when Smart mouths off. 99 smuggles dental instruments in a cake, and by punching a guard, Smart gets put in the cell with Franco and a guy named Murray. Max tries to extract the cap in the middle of the night but is caught by Franco, who tells Max that he once killed his dentist for botching a job that left his uppers in a glass at night. Smart easily retrieves the cap and passes it off to 99. Six weeks later Max is awarded the Agent of the Year award, but still hasn’t been freed from prison. 12/26/17
• 045. Kiss of Death – 12/31/1966
  • While dining outdoors, Max witnesses the attempted kidnapping of a woman named Tracy Dunhill (Geraldine Brooks). He thinks he recognizes one of the kidnappers as a KAOS agent and constructs a 3-D model of him. Meanwhile Tracy admits to her KAOS associate Victor Slade that she intends to kill Max by kissing him while wearing poison lipstick as revenge for him killing her father a year ago that day. She demonstrates this effect by kissing KAOS agent Kane (Gil Perkins). She shows up at Max’s apartment and invites him to a party at her house. The Chief and 99 crash the party to watch after Max, while Agent 13 hides himself in her sofa. Agent 13 gets too drunk to recall exactly what he overheard, but finally comes to his senses and warns Max of his impending death. She plans to kiss Max at midnight as a pseudo-New Years kiss, and when she does, he gasps and collapses. However after she admits her deed to Slade, Max rises and tells her she’s under arrested. He was wearing plastic lips and recorded the entire conversation. Bob Banas is Little Joe, the accidental victim. Bobby Ball is Ron the tailor. Bill Hickman is a KAOS agent.  Christopher Riordan and Monty O’Grady appear unbilled as party guests. 8/24/18
• 046. It Takes One to Know One – 1/7/1967
  • Max is trailing Walters (Martin J. Kelly), the #2 man at CONTROL, who appears to be suicidal, claiming to have betrayed his country while being influenced by a woman named Octavia (Gayle Hunnicutt). The chief tells Max that Octavia has been responsible for ruination of three #2 men. The robot Hymie is the next in succession, which the chief thinks could be to their benefit since Hymie wouldn’t be susceptible to Octavia’s charms. Max takes Hymie to the required physical exam with Dr. Louis Pasteur (Woodrow Parfrey), and steals the doctor’s glasses to prevent him from discovering Hymie is a robot. After he narrowly slides by, Hymie is promoted and immediately the position goes to head, issuing demerits to Max every time he messes up. Octavia sneaks into Hymie’s office as a dowdy cleaning woman, and is able to seduce and kidnap him. It is revealed that she too is a robot, and she and Hymie legitimately fall in robot love. Max and the Chief trail them, and Max is able to freeze her by surrounding her with a force field – but when they mention disassembling her, Hymie shoves Max and the Chief into it while she gets out. They realize that they are charged differently and can never be together, but after meeting Hymie, Octavia refuses to return to KAOS and instead, self destructs. Hymie is inconsolable, even though he is able to build another robot that looks exactly like her… because unfortunately, she has Max’s voice. Paul Hahn appears as Phineas. 8/24/18
• 047. Somebody Down Here Hates Me – 1/14/1967
  • After several attempts on his life, Smart finally gets out of one of his assailants (Dort Clark) that Siegfried at KAOS has a quarter of a million dollar bounty on his head. With that much on the line, Smart begins to arrest folks that he believes are KAOS agents, but when he sees them up close he realizes he is mistaken. He also begins to mistrust all of his peers including Agents 13, 99, and the Chief. When he is visited by his old friend Agent 63 Joe Froebus (Craig Huebing), he attacks him as well, but this time he has good reason, as Froebus’s appearance has completely changed. Froebus attributes the change to plastic surgery performed by Dr. Noodelman (Charles Irving) after he was scarred up in a train wreck. Smart goes to see Noodelman to see if it is possible that the people had been erroneously arresting may have had plastic surgery. It turns out that Noodelman is actually a KAOS agent that has been performing these operations, and plans to kill Max for the reward, which has now been raised to half a million dollars. However before he can make his move, the Chief and his men bust in and save him. Smart wants to investigate how a doctor who has worked for Control could be a double agent for so long, but he decides to drop it after the Chief tells him that it fell under his area of responsibility. The bounty on Smart’s head expires at midnight that night, but Smart wants to hold the Chief and 99 at gunpoint until the expiration is in effect. 5/17/19
• 048. Cutback at Control – 1/21/1967
  • Control is cutting back on expenses as evidenced by the accountant Perkins (Paul B. Price) following Smart around counting his bullets. In addition, his company car is repossessed by a finance man (Mickey Deems) and the Control phones are shut down. Smart and the Chief go before Senate Investigating Committee to plead their case that they need to be funded, but the head Dietrich (Harry Bartell) shuts them down. Meanwhile Siegfried gets wind of the situation and asks for a meeting with Smart to offer him a job with KAOS. The Chief convinces Smart to infiltrate KAOS to expose their Supreme Leader and prove their worth. Smart agrees and meets with him dressed as an elderly man to Siegfried’s elderly woman,  and accepts his offer to join their training school at their headquarters. Smart is put through his paces training with muscleman Hands (Bob Homel). Smart and Siegfried bond over beers, but Smart slips him a mickey. After he passes out, Smart intercepts a call with someone who thinks he is telling Siegfried that Smart is a double agent, and uses the phrase ‘the jig is up.’ Later when Smart hears Dietrich uses the same expression, Smart nails him as a KAOS operative, although after Dietrich pulls a gun but then falls to his death. Smart is surprised that other members of the committee also use the same expression. George Bruggeman is one of the students. 5/19/19
• 049. The Man from YENTA – 1/28/1967
  • Max is assigned to protect Prince Abu Ben Bubi (Walker Edmiston) and his wives from KAOS and factions within his country who might want to divert his oil supply that he is contracted to supply the United States to countries behind the Iron Curtain. He makes contact with Agent 13 in the wall and then tests the Prince’s meal to make sure it isn’t poisoned and tosses out a lit stick of dynamite that the rogue room service waiter leaves behind. The Chief notifies Max that they’ve discovered that one of the Prince’s wives is a KAOS agent, and Agent 99 is being sent in disguised as a harem girl to find out who it is. The country Israel also sends in one of their YENTA – Your Espionage Network and Training Academy – agents, Agent 498 (Allen Oppenheimer), to assist Max in keeping the Prince safe. The Chief gets word that KAOS’s top assassin and master of disguise Le Moco (Paul Comi) has been assigned to kill the Prince. Max goes to the international airport and makes contact with Agent 498, but although they are expecting Le Moco, they are unable to identify him because he was the pilot of the plane.  Max disguises himself as the Prince and waits for Le Moco to make his move. Three apparent assassins enter the room and Max is able to subdue them all, only to find out that they were assistants that the Chief has assigned: Agents 24, 25, and 26. Le Moco then enters and shoots Max thinking he is the Prince, but Max is saved by the bullets being deflected by his protective gear. He tells 99 that he is alright, and that the real Prince is safe in Max’s apartment, but it turns out that he isn’t speaking to 99, but rather the rogue member of the harem. Meanwhile 498 shows up at Max’s apartment disguised as the Prince, followed by Max who enters and reveals that he isn’t really Max, but El Moco using Max’s voice. Max shows up but can’t tell which one is the assassin, followed by the Chief who has four to choose from and can’t figure it out. During a scuffle, Max finally shoots the real assassin but claims that he got the real Le Moco through pure luck. 2/5/20
• 050. The Mummy – 2/4/1967
  • Smart meets with Agent 24 (Marc London) at the Metropolitan Museum to report that there is nothing suspicious going on there, despite reports that four CONTROL agents have disappeared there. While he is talking, Agent 24 is kidnapped and replaced with a woman, but Max thinks it was 24 in disguise. The Chief deduces that all of the agents have disappeared on the day that a mummy has arrived for display. With King Tut IV on his way to be delivered, the Chief sends Max back to investigate further. Max meets up with Agent 13, who tells Max to keep an eye on the museum curator Dr. Ramsey (Laurie Main). Smart also meets the assistant curator Lisa Smith (Lisa Gaye) who is also suspicious about the goings-on at the museum. Meanwhile Ramsey is smuggling KAOS agents into the country inside the mummy box, with plans to kidnap Smart and ship him out in the same box. Smart tells the Chief about Lisa using the ‘coughing code’ since the code of silence is being repaired. Lisa calls Max and tells him that something suspicious has happened, but it is revealed that she is working with Ramsey for KAOS. The Chief is suspicious of her motive, so he gives Max a truth serum pill to slip Lisa, while Lisa plans to use a knockout pill for Max. Once they meet, they each keep turning the glasses until Lisa gets the knock-out pill and Max gets the truth serum. Ramsey breaks in and knocks Max out, and then he and Lisa wrap Max like a mummy and prepare him for shipment to the European KAOS headquarters. The Chief arrives and drags Max out of the box, only to be stopped by Lisa, who is then stopped by 13, who is then stopped by Ramsey, each time dropping Max to the floor. Ultimately the Chief overpowers Ramsey and has him, and Lisa arrested. Max returns to work stiff as a board, apologetic about things he said to the Chief while under the truth serum, and unwilling to take his vacation insisting instead that he’ll remain at headquarters as the night watchman. The Chief accidentally pats him on the back and drops him to the floor one more time. 2/5/20
• 051. The Girls from KAOS – 2/11/1967
  • Max is visited one night by a lady in distress, who turns out to be Miss USA Tisha Heinschmidt (Tisha Sterling) who is in town to complete in a world beauty contest. He father Herman is a famous scientist and KAOS is attempting to kidnap her in order to extort work from him. He accidentally phones in a Code 16 which sends CONTROL into chaos, but he meant to call in a Code 19. Max is assigned to infiltrate the beauty contest and determine if any of the girls work for KAOS as well. He is outfitted by Carlson with an umbrella that acts as both a gun and camera and is told to take photos of everyone at the contest. KAOS agents Miss Transmania (Valerie Hawkins) and her husband Dimitri Sokolov (Sidney Clute), who is disguised as her female chaperon, identify Max and plan to kill him at a cocktail party that will be hosted in Tisha’s room. Max is also nearly served poison tea by Miss Formosa (Virginia Ann Lee), but when he sees the teabag eat through a trash can, he discards the tea. One of the waiters (Eddie Hice) attempts to push Max out the window, but falls out himself. Max brings the film from his umbrella back to the lab to identify the KAOS agents, destroying other vital film when he enters the darkroom and exposes the negatives. When he returns to the hotel, he finds that the Sokolovs have kidnapped Tisha, so he fights Dimitri and attempts a rescue. HOwever Miss Formosa also desires to kidnap Tisha and, although she also works for KAOS for her government, she shoots the Sokolovs. As she is about to kill Max, Dimitri shoots her. Back at CONTROL, Max takes a Code 16 call – signifying an invasion from outer space – and starts a red alert. However, the caller actually reported a Code 15. 5/16/20
• 052. Smart Fit the Battle of Jericho – 2/18/1967
  • Max and 99 are investigating a high rise building construction site called the Odyssey which is going up and will house offices from the Space Program in Washington D.C. Several of the last buildings that were erected by Jericho construction managed by Frank Lloyd Joshua (William Chapman) have exploded. Their Agent 77 is posing as a building inspector, and when Joshua makes him as an imposter, he has his henchman Carlos (Steve Gravers) cause him to fall off the building. Max is sent to Las Vegas to record a conversation between Joshua and Baron Von Krupa, owner of an explosive company, using a silver dollar outfitted with a microphone and transmitter. Smart loses the coin when he accidentally flips it into the tray of a cigarette girl (Angelique Pettyjohn). He tries to retrieve it but she puts it down her bust and later gives it to another man (Louis Quinn), who puts it into a slot machine. When the man wins, the coin winds up on the floor and then on the Baron’s table where the conversation is recorded indicating that the men are in cahoots. The Baron makes Max and sends a henchman after him, but he is saved by the cigarette girl, who is actually male agent Charlie Watkins from CONTROL West. Max is then outfitted by Carlson with a sandwich phone and a hammer gun and assigned to infiltrate the construction site. When is spotted talking into his sandwich, Joshua sends Carlos after him, but Max overpowers him and sends him over the edge. Joshua uses his wrench gun to disarm Max of his hammer gun, and pushes Max over the edge. Max lands on a girder being lifted and punches Joshua unconscious. He reports to the Chief that they have been loading hollowed bricks with nitroglycerine. Max has hidden to the nitro in the bags of cement, which is now being poured into the foundation of the building. 5/16/20
• 053. Where-What-How-Who Am I? – 2/25/1967
  • Smart eavesdrop on a KAOS plot to bomb Jet Space Labs and kills American space scientists by using a food snack truck. He phones this into the Chief, but before he can relay the details he is discovered by the KAOS agents Schnell (Julian Burton) and Petroff (Peter Coe). They fire on him and force him to flee out the window and jump in his car, which he promptly crashes into a building. He wakes up in a hospital and wants to leave, but the Nurse (Jackie Russell) and Dr. Mangle (George N. Neise) are controlled by KAOS. Mangle insists that Smart take a pill before he leaves, which causes instant amnesia. Seconds after swallowing it, the Chief and 99 show up, and Smart doesn’t know them. The doctor releases Smart to them, but only under the condition that they give him regular dosage of an ‘essential’ pill. Every time Smart starts to regain his memory, 99 feeds him another amnesia pill an he forgets again. The Chief replaces Smart’s car and shows him all of the new technology including an ejector seat and machine gun, and he and 99 return to the hotel where he was when he overheard the plot. Fortunately even though he’s lost his memory, 99 discovers that Smart is wearing a recorder watch and she is able to overhear the conversation. They head to Jet Space labs and are able to intercept the scientists before the bomb detonates. Smart and 99 chase the agents around the labs and force them to have a car crash. The Chief and his men show up and arrest the KAOS agents. As Smart starts to drive off with the Chief, he accidentally ejects him out of the car. Rudy Germane is Cradlemeyer. 8/31/20
• 054. The Expendable Agent – 3/4/1967
  • A British scientist named Professor Harold Whitaker (Irwin Charone) comes to America accompanied by a British agent named Chain (Dick Patterson) who is assigned to protect him, so that Whitaker can verbally pass on a formula for rocket fuel to American scientist. The assignment is so important that the agent is considered expendable. Smart and 99 are assigned to pick him up at the airport, where a KAOS agent named Sidney (Herb Eden) attempts to assassinate him. Max saves him, but is nearly shot himself, but Agent 13, who is hiding in a cigarette machine, saves Smart. The Chief has Whitaker and Chain stay at Smart’s apartment, where Smart shows them the various boobie traps including an invisible shield and a chair with a gun that goes off when one sits in it. Sidney makes another failed attempt on Whitaker’s life. His KAOS Chief, who is also his Uncle Boris (Herb Ellis) berates him for failing, but says he has planted a bomb in Smart’s apartment. Smart locates the bomb inside a pack of cigarettes, and manages to diffuse it before it goes off. Uncle Boris then decides they need to kill Whitaker, so they summon him to come to the airport ostensibly to meet his traveling niece Cynthia (Rose Michtom), but the girl he meets pulls out a gun and shoots him. He is only injured, but Smart thinks he has failed. The Chief then tell shim that it is really Chain who has the secret formula in his head, so the entire time that KAOS was wasting time on Whitaker, Chain was relaying the formula to American scientists. 8/31/20
• 055. How to Succeed in the Spy Business Without Really Trying – 3/11/1967
  • While Max and 99 are investigating a smuggling operation, they are met by Agent 74 (Marc London), who is then shot by a KAOS agent (Alex Rocco). Before the agent can shoot Max and 99, he is shot by Max’s mortal enemy Seigfried. Max can’t understand why Seigfried saved him, but he explains that he has never felt rewarded by all of the killing he has done for KAOS and now offers to sell secrets to CONTROL. The chief is initially skeptical, but when Seigfried also saves the chief by shooting yet another KAOS agent named Shtarker (King Moody), he gains everyone’s trust, and Max invites him to meet at his apartment to negotiate the selling of the secrets. After they leave, it is revealed that Shtarker is not dead and that Seigfried has conned them. However Seigfried tips them off were to find his nefarious sister and twenty lead agents of KAOS. He also finds Max’s tape recorder in his apartment and leaves behind a performance of him talking to an agent about the Big K plot, and then pretending to be shot by the agent. When Max and his team return and find him, Seigfried tells them that the plan is to rob Fort Knox using a nerve gas. The chief has a swarm of agents sent to Fort Knox to defend it. But the real plot is to get all of the agents to Fort Knox while he infiltrates the CONTROL Chiefs’ Awards dinner, where he will release a paralyzing nerve gas and knock everyone out and then hold all of the CONTROL Chiefs for ransom – Operation Knockout. However after he releases the gas, Smart comes to and shoots all of the KAOS agents except Siegfried with the golden gun trophies. He tells Siegfried that when he said the flower on Smart’s suit lapel smelled good, he knew he was wearing a fake nose to keep out the gas. Smart then had the lab create him a fake nose so that he would not be affected. Siegfried blames his crime wave on his mother because she never bought him the sled he wanted… mainly because they lived in Florida. Nancy Walters is Dr. Hans Svenson. Frank Kumagai is Ishamoto. 12/17/20
• 056. Appointment in Sahara – 3/25/1967
  • The Chief reports that KAOS has a nuclear weapon and has threatened to bomb city after city if the rest of the world doesn’t disarm. CONTROL has pinpointed the Algiers region of the Sahara desert as the location, and the Chief sends Max and 99 to find and disarm the bomb. They are outfitted by Carlson with safari clothes that contain edible buttons and one geiger counter button. After jumping from an airplane into the desert, they meet their contacts Forsythe (Phillip Baird) and Hassein (Michael Corhan) who lead them through the desert. When the are attacked by Arabs, Forsythe is killed. Hassein tries to lead them, but they lose him in a sandstorm. Max gets hungry and eats all of his buttons, including the geiger counter. Alone, they face thirst and hunger, and eventually being overcome by weakness, they collapse. They are rescued by hospitable Arabs Ahmad (Peter Mamakos) and Jamal (Victor Tayback aka Vic Tayback). Ahmad insists they have dinner and watch his daughter Fatima (Myrna Ross) dance, but privately they discuss the fact that they are indeed KAOS agents hiding the bomb under Fatima’s tent. During the dinner, Max gets a message in his goblet as to the location of the bomb, and when he goes to investigate and fights and kills a guard, before being captured by Ahmad and Jamal. Max and 99 are tied up and laid out in the sun to die, but are rescued by Fatima, who confesses she is not Ahmad’s daughter, but a slave. Max is able to re-direct the bomb to fire straight up and then back down to destroy the control room. They realize they are standing right in its path so they run a safe distance away before the nuclear bomb detonates. Max mentions that America should insist that other countries should be forced to destroy their nuclear bombs, and if not, that we should bomb them to keep peace. 12/17/20
• 057. Pussycats Galore – 4/1/1967
  • A waitress form the Pussycat Club named Pamela Courtney (Jean Marie Ingels) visits Max one night and reports that she believes that a famous scientist named Dr. Herbert Von Solo, who was just reported missing, had been abducted from the Pussycat Club. After leaving Max’s apartment , she is abducted and Max is unable to stop them. The Chief explains that other scientists have been abducted after visiting the Pussycat Clubs in other parts of the world, so the club owner Frank Valentine (H.M. Wynant) is a prime suspect. The Chief assigns Max and 99 to go undercover and pose as German scientists Fritz and Greta Braun. They fly to Germany and then back, so that a reporter (Kelly Fitzpatrick) can document their arrival. Max is contacted by one of Valentine’s henchman Hans Frome (Ted Knight) posing as a German consulate and requests a meeting. Valentine orders Frome to ensure that the Brauns are who they say they are, and although Smart fumbles through the questioning, 99 is able to convince him. Smart and 99 go to the Pussycat club with Frome, and they meet with their fellow agent, female impersonator Charlie Watkins (Angelique Pettyjohn). Valentine has a waitress spike their drinks with tranquilizers and they become nearly catatonic. As they are hauled out of the club to join their fellow scientists on a boat, Smart reveals that he hadn’t drank his drink and he managers to overpower Valentine and Frome, as the Chief and the police come to his rescue, thanks to Watkins calling them for help. Max says he didn’t drink the alcohol because Braun’s biography stated he was a teetotaler. Max offers to take 99 out for dinner and drinks to celebrate, and can’t resist inviting the voluptuous Charlie Watkins along as well. 4/11/21
• 058. A Man Called Smart: Part 1 – 4/8/1967
  • Dr. Waldo Smith from the CONTROL lab reports that he was robbed of a very important and dangerous formula 6076767  known as Dry-Up, which will turn large bodies of water into vapor, which threatens the lives of Americans. An informant makes contact with CONTROL and asks to meet with an agent at the Hotel Peer Gynt. Max is assigned to the case, and goes to the hotel and gets on calls with the Chief, 99, and the informant all at one time, causing much confusion to the bellboy (Neil Elliot). The Control bank authorizes $25,ooo in payoff money, and the informant accepts. He meets Max at the revolving door of the hotel, but before he can tell him who has the formula, he is shot. Max recognizes him as character actor Russell Bediyoskin (Howard Caine), which is confirmed by famed director Otto Hurrah (John Myhers), who is also staying in the hotel for a seminar. During all of this, a KAOS agent (Grant Sewall) appears on television demanding $1 billion dollars, or else they will dry up the country’s water supply. The hotel doctor (Ward Donovan) attends to Bediyoskin, but 99 realizes he is not the actual hotel doctor and is attempting to give Bediyoskin an injection. Smart stops him and kills him, and then acts a decoy while they sneak Bediyoskin out of the hotel. Ambulance drivers arrive and take Max instead, and once they get him in the ambulance, they pull out guns and point them at Max’s head. Smart falls out of the back of the ambulance and he goes rolling through traffic heading straight for a large truck. Barry O’Hara is the drunk. Cone of Silence victims Ashkenazi and Crilleader are played by Marc London and Frank Jamus. NOTE: The script for the episode was written to be a feature, but it was re-worked to be a three-part episode, with this being the first of three parts. 4/11/21
• 059. A Man Called Smart: Part 2 – 4/15/1967
  • Smart falls out the back of the ambulance and careens down the street heading for a truck, the smoothly goes under it and falls into a manhole. Max recovers from his injuries and meets the Chief in his office. After the Chief determines that his phone is now the clock on the wall, he accepts a call from the President, who asks the Chief to step down so his predecessor Admiral Harold Harmon Hargrade (William Schallert), who is now 91 years old and periodically falls to the floor or falls asleep can be reinstated to oversee this case. He starts working on tracking the location where KAOS is making their broadcasts. Meanwhile 99 searches Bediyoskin’s hotel room and finds several laundry tickets for Three Brothers Omniwash. She calls Max to report her findings, but while she is on the phone, she is taken by a KAOS agent. Smart and the Chief head to the hotel room, but 99 is gone. They find a bug in the room, so they purposely allow KAOS to hear that Smart is headed to see Bediyoskin, so that KAOS can kidnap Smart while the Chief follows. Max is taken by a female agent (Marj Dusay), but the Chief is unable to follow because he is locked in a phone booth. However, after leaving with Smart and abandoning their car and substituting it for another, they return to the same hotel, where 99 is being held in the room next store to Bediyoskin’s. The Chief finally frees himself and holds the agent at gunpoint, while Max subdues the agent holding 99 and frees her. The KAOS agent making the broadcasts announces to the world that they are going to start drying up small bodies of water to show they mean business. Hargrade then goes on the air and tells the public not to panic, and that they have found the source of the broadcasts. Max then realizes that Bediyoskin looks just like Waldo Smith (Howard Caine)  minus his mustache, so they go to see Smith, who says that Bediyoskin is his brother and was originally named Smith. Smart, the Chief, and 99 go to see Bediyoskin in the hospital and try to get the name of who has the Dry-Up, but Bediyoskin is only strong enough to write down his initials. KAOS agents posing as patients and using fake crutches then get in a gunfight with the CONTROL agents. The Chief is shot, and collapses, while Smart detonates a KAOS bomb in the elevator. Maxine Stuart is the nurse. NOTE: This is the second of a three-part episode. 8/5/21
• 060. A Man Called Smart: Part 3 – 4/22/1967
  • After the shootout in the hospital, the Chief is hospitalized with his gunshot wounds. Hargrade shows up the hospital to investigate, and Max and 99 get irritated that he seems more interested in the case than in the Chief’s recovery. Hargrade takes the initials that Bediyoskin wrote down and takes them to his brother Waldo to see if he can interpret them. Max and 99 go in to see the Chief when they encounter another KAOS agent disguised as a nurse (Martha Salcido). They overpower, but she escapes. The KAOS broadcaster announces that they have now dried up Niagara Falls. Waldo Smith interprets the initials to be T.B.O. and 99 thinks they are familiar, and comes to the conclusion that they stand for the Three Brothers Omniwash. They go there and run into Agent 13 inside one of the washers. He has investigated and determined that the laundry are a front for horse gambling. Each machine represents a horse, and each laundry ticket represents an amount. Smart deduces that Bediyoskin got deep into gambling and stole the formula in order sell it to pay off his debt. While there, they spot the drunk that was in the lobby when Bediyoskin was shot. The also find T.B. Orlando written on the wall with a phone number. Smart calls the number and a phone operator identifies that they have called Panamint Studios in Los Angeles. The gate guard (Lane Chandler) acknowledges that Tom B. Orlando (Kenneth Mars) works there, but he won’t let them in… until the head of the studio Otto Hurrah, who remembers Smart from the hotel where Bediyoskin was shot lets them in. 99 and Smart questions Orlando. He blows them off because he has an appointment with Hurrah, and notes that the big one doesn’t like waiting. However he thinks he may know the T.B.O. they are looking for and asks them to meet him in Stage 7. When they get in there, they find that Orlando has been killed, and then realize that T.B.O. stand for the ‘the big one’ – aka Otto Hurrah. After knocking out 99, Hurrah makes himself known in the studio, and as he and Smart swordfight, Hurrah admits that he needed something to creatively, so he joined KAOS to mastermind the fiendish plan. Smart finally gets the upper hand, but brags he’s never killed an unarmed man, so he passes Hurrah the sword… which goes right through him. Back at CONTROL as the Chief and 99 nurse their injuries, Hargrade declares the case closed, and sends everyone home for the weekend, and tells the Chief he can resume his job. As they head out, Hargrade once again hits the floor. 8/5/21

SEASON 3

• 061. The Spy Who Met Himself – 9/16/1967
  • Smart meets courier Agent 38 (Del Moore) at the airport to pass off some information, but when Smart questions why 38 is wearing a different style tie, he knocks Smart out cold. Back at CONTROL headquarters, the real Agent 38 rushes in and tells Smart, the Chief, and 99 that he had been captured by KAOS. It then becomes obvious that KAOS has released their League of Imposters. Over at KAOS, Siegfried is grooming a spy named Johann (Don Adams) to impersonate Smart. As Johann studies films of Max’s every move, the real Max has become paranoid and is questioning whether the Chief and 99 are imposters. Although Smart has a distinguishing bruise on his ankle, KAOS gets a film of this, and Siegfried gives Johann a matching bruise. Max does in fact encounter two Agent 13’s in the airport lockers, but manages to knock out the wrong one, before he is attacked by KAOS agents. He is rescued by the Chief, but it proves to be the Chief’s imposter, who kidnaps Max and drives off with Johann. Smart is thrown in a dungeon that leaks poison gas into the air, but he is able to use his shoe as a gas mask and escape. He returns to CONTROL, where he encounters the imposter of himself. Neither the Chief or 99 can determine which one is the KAOS agent, so they hold a Boared of Inquiry review consisting of 99, Agent Nordell (Martin Ashe), and Agent Jennings (Paul Hahn), and bombard both Smarts with questions. At the end of the inquiry, the Chief tallies the responses and accuses the real Smart of being the KAOS agent, but it turns out that this Chief is the imposter, when the real Chief enters and shoots the fake one. Johann then shoots the real Chief, and Smart in turn shoots Johann. Fortunately, the real Chief’s wound is superficial, while the KAOS agents’ wounds are more serious. Larry Barton is KAOS agent Dubrovnik, and Red West is his partner Balinkov. 2/4/22
• 062. Viva Smart – 9/23/1967
  • Smart and 99 are on a mission in the South American country of San Saludos, which is now run by the cruel dictator General Pajarito (Monte Landis), who claims they are living in a democracy, but who frequently calls for firing squads in the streets at the drop of a hat. The former president Don Carlos’ (Edward Colmans) daughter Isabella (Jana Taylor) had gotten a message to CONTROL claiming that her father is being held in a dungeon by Pajarito and will be released only under the condition that Isabella marries him. The border guard Miguel (Jack Ragotzy) recognizes 86 and 99 right away as they attempt to enter the country, but he lets them in – even with their suitcase containing an escape flying device – but notifies Pajarito of their arrival. Their cart driver (Ralph Manza) takes them to their hotel, and their assassination attempts in their room via a poisonous spider, poison in their lemonade, and a pistol immediately, but they narrowly escape them all. The waiter (Ralph Smiley) is their contact, and he sends them to see their next contact Lopez (Lewis Charles). He tells them to impersonate two flamenco dancers, Conchita and Conchata, who are going to be performing in the town square for General Pajarito. Max and 99 find them dead in the hotel, the victims of the poison lemonade that had been meant for Smart. They get into their concerts and perform a bumbling flamenco dance, and then attempt an escape on horseback, but when Smart falls off his horse, they are captured and put in the dungeon with Don Carlos. Isabella is thrown in there as well. Smart tries to bribe a guard (Joey Bishop) to have the soldiers use blanks when it time for them to be executed. Smart then is able cut through the wall with his laser pen. They escape… right into the firing squad area. Smart outwits Pajarito when he yells out ‘about face’ just before the soldiers fire, and they wind up killing Pajarito. They then locate their inflatable balloon, but it winds up being a boat. They are then pursued by the soldiers, but they are surprised when one of them (Nick Georgiade) tells them that they are now free and plan to serve their new president Don Carlos. Joseph Corey is the dance announcer. 2/4/22
• 063. Witness for the Persecution – 10/7/1967
  • Max witnesses a drop-off of KAOS information via a football at a toy store, between the supposed manager and a child in a football outfit. The child turns out to be little person El Lobo Ito (Billy Curtis), but he escapes arrest. Smart gets the ‘manager’ Elwood Tudbury (Henry Hunter) and brings him back to CONTROL headquarters where they question him and examine the football with the head of the crime lab Dr. Bascomb (George Ives), and they find the coding device concealed in the laces. They give Tudbury his one phone call per the law, and he gives the order to all KAOS agents to get rid of Max so that he cannot testify. Smart and 99 discuss many possible hideouts for Smart before they realize that they never hung up the phone call with KAOS, so they decide to outfit Max’s apartment with a Cube of Safety, lasers, and disintegrators to keep him safe. 99 also stays overnight and watches over Smart via camera through closed circuit TV. Unfortunately none of this keeps the KAOS agents out and they find two of them hiding under his bed. Smart and 99 manage to get into the Cube of Safety, and they are to disintegrate the KAOS agents… along with every thing in the room. Because the landlady Mrs. Macklin (Patty Regan) had already been on Smart’s case about all of the new installations, they decide to move his hideout to the home of Dr. Bascomb. It isn’t long before Smart drives Bascomb crazy by keeping up at night fluffing his pillow and his fear of the dark and thunder. The next morning, Max complains about breakfast, and the two start to bicker like an old married couple. That morning, Smart is supposed to testify at the courthouse across the street from Bascomb’s place, so all he has to do is get across the street. Unfortunately, he jaywalks to get there, so an officer (James Nolan) tickets him and sends him back to cross the street correctly. He tries to cross the street by going through various cabs, the final one in which contains an old lady (Kathryn Minner) with a machine gun, so he retreats back to Bascomb’s side of the road. They end up setting up a line from the roof to the courthouse. When Max slides down it, he is shot multiple times by KAOS agents… but it turns out that he was actually a dummy stuffed with towels. As 99 weeps uncontrollably, the real Max walks in behind her, having casually walked across the street while they were ‘shooting the wrong dummy.’ 6/12/22
• 064. The Spirit Is Willing – 10/14/1967
  • Max is called to a cemetery to meet a mysterious woman named Ann Ferris (Ina Balin), who claims to have evidence to prove that a man named Paul John Mondebello (Than Wyenn) is a KAOS agent who is operating a front called the Creative Entertainment Bureau, which operates a front for KAOS. She requires $50,000 to turn over the evidence, but she disappears when Smart goes to check on the sound of two cats. When he reports this to 99, she tells him that Ann Ferris had worked for Mondebello but was recently murdered, presumably by him. They work with Agent 37 (Byron Morrow), who tells Max that there are no known photos of Ann Ferris. Max realizes that he still has the cigarette lighter that Ferris had given him in the cemetery. They go to Creative Entertainment Bureau to investigate further. The receptionist (Kay Michaels) tells them that Mondebello is out of town, but she refers them to his partner Mr. Vogel (Len Lesser). He verifies that the lighter did in fact belong to Ann Ferris, but before he can say more, Mondebello suddenly appears and calls him aside. Vogel is surprised to see him, and tells him that he’s not sure why the police would not be on Ann’s trail. He tells Mondebello that he had killed Ann as ordered. Mondebello gives Vogel a pen he bought for him in London, and then tells him that if he finds out that Vogel has double-crossed him that he would kill him. Vogel whispers to Smart to check with Ann’s mother to see if she has a photo of Ann. They visit Ann’s mother who shows him a picture of her, and indeed it is the woman that Max met in the cemetery. She also suggests that both she and Ann believed in the after life, and she believes that it was Ann’s spirit who came to him. She arranges to bring their medium Madame Borova (Peggy Mondo) to Max’s house for a séance. Max agrees, and when the lights go out, Ann appears to Max again and tells him to bring the $50,000 to her mother, and she will reveal to her mother only the location of the evidence against Mondebello. It also turns out that Ann’s mother is actually in, and she is in cahoots with Vogel. The two are lovers, Vogel wants to defect from KAOS, and then use the $50,000 to escape. Unfortunately, the pen that Mondebello gave Vogel was a microphone, and he overhears all of the plans. They all meet in the cemetery, where Ann’s teddy bear containing the evidence had been buried. Mondebello gets the upper-hand and shoots and kills Vogel. He makes Smart and 99 climb into an empty grave and prepares to kill them, but Ann’s real mother’s ghost appears and distracts him, and Max is able to beat him with a shovel and kill him instead. 6/13/22
• 065. Maxwell Smart, Private Spy – 10/21/1967
  • Smart is assigned by CONTROL to guard Trinka Markov (Roxane Berard), the daughter of the late Boravian Prime Minister, who has come across the Iron Curtain to address the U.N. A phony reporter (Don Ross) makes an attempt on her life before she even leaves the airport. The make a quick escape into a taxi cab, which to Max’s surprise is being driven by Agent 34 (Ralph Leabow), who tells Max that while he was out of the country, budget cuts dictated that they all only work half-shifts every day. A chase across town ensues with KAOS killers trying to get Trinka. Agent 34 picks up another passenger (Gordon Jump), because the taxi rules dictate that they combine trips. Eventually they make it back to CONTROL headquarters. Max, 99, and the Chief discuss how they will protect Trinka inside the closet of silence, since the cone of silence has been leant to the C.I.A. When they get locked inside, Max accidentally shoots Larrabee to get his attention so he can let them out. Now that Max and 99 only work until noon, they decide to supplement their income by opening a detective agency with Max as the detective and 99 as the secretary. Max adopts a Humphrey Bogart voice, and soon he gets his first case: a sexy woman named Mrs. Weatherly (Lynn Borden) who is afraid her husband is going to kill her because he is jealous. When 99 comes to the door, she is afraid it is her husband and she slinks out onto the fire escape… but there is no fire escape and she falls to the canopy below. Smart’s next clients are two men named Mr. Peter (Barry Kroeger), who looks and sounds like Sydney Greenstreet, and Mr. Sydney (Phillip Roth), who looks and sounds like Peter Lorre. They explain that they are friends of Miss Markov, and want to hire Smart to continue to protect her on his off hours. Smart accepts the job, but after the men leave, they discuss the fact that Smart stepped right into their trap and will lead them to her. Max is ordered to take Miss Markov to the Allendon Arms Hotel, and so he tips off his clients Sydney and Peter where they will be staying. Thus, the word is quickly spread through KAOS, and a slew of assassins surround them upon arrival. After a gunfight in the streets, they manage to escape with Trinka in the trunk of the car. Max now insists that he will choose the hideout in order to keep her safe, thinking there is a leak to KAOS within CONTROL. He takes her to his detective office, where Sydney and Peter are waiting for him, and reveal that he led them right to Miss Markov. Max holds them at gunpoint, but another assassin named Mr. Wilbur (Buddy Hackett) comes out from behind the curtain. Max wants to take a final drink, but throws it into Wilbur’s face, causing him to shoot Peter. When the Chief shows up disguised as a janitor, Sydney goes out to the fire escape… which still isn’t there. He misses the canopy by ‘that much.’ The Chief reveals that he wasn’t in disguised, but rather supplementing his income by being a janitor. 10/4/22
• 066. Supersonic Boom – 10/28/1967
  • While the Chief and Max get into an arm wrestling contest, KAOS agent Billet (Farley Granger) is working with Professor von Gunther (Damian London) setting the dials to a Supersonic Boom machine to hit the Chief’s CONTROL office. Despite it being located ten stories underground, the sound waves cause the building to suffer a great deal of damage. Billet tells them to tune into a broadcast, on which he demands 50 million dollars or he will detonate a much large sonic boom in New York City. CONTROL goes to work to find their location within Washington D.C. Max and 99 track the agents to a car wash in the city. Billet goes into the car wash and doesn’t come out because he has been lowered underground. Smart and 99 follow them in, and get their convertible washed with the top down. Soaking wet, they exit the car and push a button inside the car wash and are lowered underground, where they are taken by gunpoint by Gaucho (Alex Rocco) and other agents to see Mr. Billet. He tells Gaucho that he was once an actor, and plans to fool them into thinking that the Sonic Boom machine is transferred to South America. The KAOS agents then go through a sophisticated ruse whereby they blindfold the agents and tell them that they have to move the machine since they know about it, then have them walk through entering a fake car, a fake airport, and the boarding a fake plane. The realistic sound effects make Smart and 99 believe it is all true, and after they sleep, they simulate a fake landing, where a fake stewardess (Julie Bennett) announces that they have landed at Ezeiza Airport. They then put Smart and 99 in a cell, where 99 remembers that the airport is just outside of Buenos Aires. Smart calls the Chief on his shoe phone and tells him that they are in Argentina. The chief sends the Strategic Air Command into Argentina, then later calls the president to issue an apology to their country. 99 then notices a round metal disc in the ceiling of the jail cell, and when they go up through it, they find they are still in Washington right by the car wash. Smart returns into the car wash and fights and defeats all of the agents in there. He steals one of their guns, goes down into the hideout, shoots von Gunther, and holds Billet at gunpoint. He calls the Chief to tell him that he’s found the machine, but then accidentally pushes the button to once again send the soundwaves to the Chief’s office. Bill Dana appears unbilled as the man on the street by the manhole cover. 10/4/22
• 067. One of Our Olives Is Missing – 11/4/1967
  • Agent 99 meets Max in a hotel bar to tell him that there is a KAOS lab in the hotel working on a nerve gas and is getting information about the formula being transmitted into a fake olive. A double agent posing as a waiter has intercepted the olive, and Max is supposed to find the waiter and they are to share secret phrases to let him know to give the olive to Max. He makes contact with the waiter (Michael Ross), but the waiter gets a knife in the back from a KAOS agent and drops the olive into a martini. Just then, performing artist “Ozark Annie” Jones (Carol Burnett) enters with an interviewer (Douglas Rowe) who is going to interview her in the bar. Max checks all of their martinis, but Ozark Annie had already drunk hers. Siegfried confers with his scientist Schtarker (King Moody) and demands that he and his man X40 (John Francis) retrieve the olive. They begin broadcasting on it, and Ozark Annie begins hearing their voices coming from her stomach. Max trails her and then tells her that she needs to come into his custody and go back to his apartment. When they arrive there, there are several KAOS goons hiding out in his place, which they manage to kill accidentally while Smart is showing her all of the security features in his apartment. Ozark Annie becomes gradually smitten by Max. The Chief sends over Dr. McTavish, who turns out to be Siegfried in disguise. He and Max fight, but Ozark Annie interferes and accidentally knocks Max out. Fortunately, she activates his invisible wall and Siegfield is forced to leave. Max attempts to take Annie back to the CONTROL headquarters, but Siegfried had put an ejection seat in Max’s car, and when he activates it, Annie flies out of it and Siegfried is able to take Annie back to one of the labs in the hotel. Max is able to figure out the room where they are located by checking with room service to see where the German food was sent. Siegfried and his men and a KAOS doctor (Burt Nodella aka Cary Nodella) lay Annie out on a table to listen to the olive transmissions. When Annie keeps hiccuping, Siegfried gets ready to shoot her, but Max barges in with his gun and holds off the KAOS agents. They escape through a fear-gas room, where Annie is scared to death, and then move into the romance-room, where Annie falls in love with Max. Agent 99 shows up to show them out of the lab, and she too falls in love with Max. 1/30/23
• 068. When Good Fellows Get Together – 11/18/1967
  • Max breaks into KAOS headquarters to get a look at the new robot they’ve designed. Just then, a guard (Pete Sotos) lets in Spinoza (Ted De Corsia), Dr. Ratton (Jim Boles), and a group of KAOS agents. Spinoza tells the agent that the one obstacle from CONTROL they’ve never been able to overcome is their robot Hymie. Now this new robot Groppo (H.B. Haggerty) has been designed by Dr. Ratton with only one purpose: to seek out and destroy Hymie. They all suddenly realize that Max is in the room and doesn’t belong there, but he is able to pull his gun and take Groppo’s remote control. Smart is able to have Groppo smash down the door and then destroy the building. Back at CONTROL, Agent 42 (Martin Ashe) volunteers for the case to help guard Hymie, who believes that Groppo will be his friend since he is a robot. With Hymie’s chassis falling apart, they decide to take him to Dr. Harris (Byron Morrow) to have him cleaned up and tuned up. Hymie isn’t used to his new springs, so he awkwardly lunges and bounds around the room. Smart opts to take him to an old ghost town that CONTROL has built and brings Agent 42 and Harris with him. Meanwhile, Dr. Ratton is able to re-design Groppo’s remote control. Spinoza wants to make sure that Groppo will always be loyal to KAOS, so he had Groppo turn on Dr. Ratton and kill him. Max and Hymie stop up to pick up some of Max’s stuff at his apartment, where Groppo gets to them before they leave and break down Max’s door. Max is able to spring a net on him, which slows him down a bit, and they are able to get to the ghost town. Max takes Hymie on runs to iron out the kinks from his tune-up. It isn’t long before they get word that Groppo has been spotted headed their way. Hymie doesn’t express much interest in defending himself, and Dr. Harris explains that Hymie is programmed to be nice, and that they would have to de-program him and make him mean and evil, but that it could not be changed back. Hymie overhears this conversation and runs away from the ghost town. Max decides that he will have to fight Groppo himself. When Groppo arrives, Max is no match for him. He is just about to be taken out by Groppo, when suddenly Hymie arrives and after unsuccessfully trying to make friends with Groppo, is able to get some punches in on Groppo. However, soon Groppo has the upper hand, but Max is able to push him into a very deep well. Hymie tells Smart that his ability to fight was aroused when he saw the Max was in danger and is happy that this also proves the Max really likes him. 1/30/23
• 069. Dr. Yes – 11/25/1967
  • CONTROL is overseeing the launch of a missile, following a series of misfires during which the missile went off course and had to be detonated in mid-air. General Putney (Robert Terry) and the German scientist Professor Kroeger (Will Warren) are the only two people who know where the button to detonate the missile is located. When this missile starts to go off course as well, it heads back toward the Strategic Air Command building where Max, the Chief, and 99 can all see it coming. Miraculously, Max inadvertently leans against the button that detonates the missile and keeps them from being blown up. The headquarters and power station where the KAOS agents have been controlling the defecting mechanism that is affecting the missiles is known to be near Lost Lake, so Max and 99 go undercover as campers to stay in the area and search for the secret location. Two campers named Toulouse (Andre Philippe) and Himmel (Todd Martin) show up and try to dissuade them from camping there, telling them that they are taking their lives in their own hands. They then don scuba gear and go underwater to the power station. There they meet up with the notorious criminal Dr. Yes (Donald Davis) and his other two henchmen Natasha (Margaret Mason) and Lopez (Ref Sanchez). Dr. Yes order Toulouse and Himmel to return to the surface and eliminate Smart and 99. They lure them to their camper using a tape recorder yelling ‘help’, and once they are inside, they activate the walls to close in on them. Smart stops this with a giant pen, and uses 99’s diamond drill ring to get out of the trailer. They then follow the footprints to the lake and don their own scuba gear. Upon arrival, they are overpowered by Dr. Yes and his henchmen. Smart is put in a water tank with a weight that will float when the water rises, lowering a rotating saw over 99. Smart is able to escape using the diamond drill ring and they fight Dr. Yes, who, with his long fingernails covered in poison is about to kill Max, when 99 releases her electronic mosquito which lands on Dr. Yes’s face. When he tries to swat it, he cuts his own face with his poison fingernail and dies. As he collapses, he inadvertently throws the switch that turns off his deflecting mechanism that would have sent the missile off course yet again, which would have destroyed the SAC in Omaha, Nebraska. Wally Cox appears uncredited as the TV repairman. 7/11/23
• 070. That Old Gang of Mine – 12/2/1967
  • Smart and 99 are in foggy Old London, trying to find their way to the London Palladium to meet up with another agent to determine the whereabouts of an American gangster named Scar (Larry Grant). The ask directions from a man on the street (Danny Thomas) and a local bobby (Roy Dean), but they are no help. Before they can go any further to find Scar, he finds them and pulls a gun on them. Max kills him using his flashlight gun, and then they finally get out of their hotel room for the first time. Based a note from the chief, they make their way to Ye Crashing Boar Pub where a barmaid (Karen Arthur) directs them to the backroom where they find the Chief and his British counterpart Commander Hathaway (Eric Brotherson) and his assistant Mrs. Van Cleef (Diahn Williams). They speak inside the umbrella of silence about the Scorpion Gang, who had recently been imprisoned but has recently escaped from jail. Scar had been called in to replace their old explosions expert, and since they’ve never seen him, the plan is to have Max simulate the scar on his face and step undercover into his role with the gang. While he is doing this, the Chief will be investigating his belief that there is a KAOS agent in British CONTROL. Smart makes contact with the Dutchman (Iggie Wolfington), who introduces Max to the other members of the gang Le Mans (Raoul Franck aka Peter Frank), El Gatto (Larry Duran), and Turk (Sid Haig). There is also a KAOS agent named X overseeing the entire operation, but he doesn’t make himself visible. The gang discusses their plans to rob the Royal Jewels and how they will accomplish this. Smart, posing as Scar, will use Nitroglycerine to crack the safe. The men clumsily break into the palace and locate the safe containing the jewels. In the middle of cracking the safe, Max phones in and speaks to Van Cleef and tells her that he still hasn’t determined who X is and wants to know how to proceed. She tells him to continue with the robbery and that they will close in once he rendezvouses with the Dutchman and X. El Gatto overhears the conversation and tries to kill Max, but he is able to pull his gun and shoot El Gatto first. Turk returns to the safe, which i snow blown open, and orders Max to load up the jewels. Le Mans is killed during the changing of the guard, as he was posing as one. Once the thieves get out of the house, they look through the jewels to split them up, and the Dutchman shoots Turk. Max then offers all of his jewels to the Dutchman, but Van Cleef barges in and tells them that X wants them all and shoots the Dutchman. Van Cleef gets ready to shoot Max, but the Chief and 99 burst in, and the Chief shoots Van Cleef. Max assumes that Van Cleef must be X. However, he is quickly proven wrong when Hathaway comes in and puts his arm around Van Cleef, revealing himself as the actual X. He plans to turn over the jewels to KAOS, then get credit for solving the crime and blaming the American CONTROL for orchestrating the robbery. Smart threatens to blow up everyone with his Nitroglycerine, so Hathaway puts down his gun. After being congratulated, Smart says it was nothing, as the bottle was empty. He tosses it in the air, but the Chief and 99 realize it is not empty after all. Thankfully, the Chief is able to safely catch the bottle. 7/11/23
• 071. The Mild Ones – 12/9/1967
  • Smart is part of a motorcycle motorcade accompanying the Prime Minster of Beluvia (Nick Borgani) from the airport, but he fails to put his kickstand up and the motorcade leaves without him. Smart and 99, who is following behind in her convertible, spot the Prime Minister’s aide (Steve Allen) being thrown from the car, and the Prime Minister being kidnapped. The aide reports to them that there were two men hidden in the back of the car and saying, “Fare thee well, get ye lost” before pushing him out of the car. Back at headquarters, the Chief chastises Smart for failing in yet another mission. Larrabee reports that they found the actual cops that had been hired bound and gagged in a warehouse, and nearby was a black leather jacket with a purple knight insignia on it. These clues indicate that the perpetrators is the Purple Knights motorcycle gang, who try to escape reality by acting like King Arthur and his men. Smart and 99 are assigned to infiltrate the gang to find out if they were hired by KAOS. Smart and 99 go by the names of Wheels and Legs and pose as motorcycle gang bangers, tracing the Purple Knights at their usual hangout Dee Dee’s Diner, where they have the Prime Minister shackled in the back room to turn over to KAOS. They clumsily ride their bike into the diner and introduce themselves to the gang leader Brute (Michael Bell) and his lady friend Doll Baby (Susan Albert). Whereas Doll Baby takes in instant liking to Max, kissing him often to 99’s annoyance, Brute doesn’t care for Max and takes his own liking to 99. Doll Baby invites him to join their gang, but Brute insists that Wheels face off against him in a jousting match on their motorcycles using mops. 99 helps Max defeat Brute by shining the sun in his eyes reflected by her makeup kit. Max is then allowed to join the gang, and that night Max and 99 attempt to sneak into the back room to rescue the Prime Minister. However, Brute is way ahead of him and catches him in the act. The gang takes Max outside and tie chains to their motorcycles and attempt to draw and quarter him, but when they take off, the chains all fall loose. Doll Baby had cut them, so after Max and 99 capture the gang by causing them to crash their motorcycles over logs hidden by leaves, Doll Baby is taken to headquarters and exonerated. The Prime Minister is returned to the Beluvian authorities and is allowed to continue his assignment… to borrow 20 billion dollars from the U.S. government. Wayne Sutherlin is Kook. Clyde Howdy is Zombie. 11/10/23
• 072. Classification: Dead – 12/23/1967
  • Max has a date named Janet (Kris Tel) at his apartment, when a KAOS agent attempts to put a poison pill in Max’s drink. Max nonchalantly stops him, and the pill falls next to the glass, but then Janet put it in his drink, and he downs it. She tells him that the poison pill will kill him at 1:00pm the next day and that it comes courtesy of Mr. Hercules (John Fiedler). Once Max reports this, the Chief take him to the backstage area of the Follies theater show, where CONTROL agent Dr. Steele (Ellen Weston) works undercover as a chorus girl, which is a perfect front for her studies and treatments in medicine. She is able to identify the poison, which releases slowly into the bloodstream over the course of a day. In fact, she has invented a similar poison that kills anyone who takes it in 30 seconds. Unfortunately, she has no antidote developed yet and doesn’t know how long it might take. Max becomes angry and seeks a second opinion of 21 doctors, all of whom think he will die right around 1:00pm the next day. After a CONTROL agent named Elwood Box (Shelley Berman) comes to collect his body, Max decides the only thing he can do at this point is seek revenge on Mr. Hercules for poisoning him. 99 finds some candy left behind by Janet at Max’s place, which are labeled as coming from Happy’s Health Food Shop. They head there and question the proprietor (Anthony Jochim), and also see an ad on the wall for the Hercules Gymnasium. They head there, and Max buys 99 a membership from the receptionist (Allison Price) since the bill won’t come until after he is dead. After entering, they run into Janet who holds them a gunpoint and forces 99 into the women’s restroom and sends Max into the gymnasium, where he is able to fend off three henchmen. He then finds Mr. Hercules’ office and confronts him. Hercules is waiting for him and offers him the antidote in exchange for the new CONTROL codes. Max gives him the old code, and Hercules gives Max a fake antidote. Hercules then offers the real antidote for the real codes, but while Hercules is pouring a drink for Max, he slips the 30-second poison into Hercules’ drink. Both of them struggle for the antidote until Hercules dies. Max passes out before he can take the antidote, but the Chief rushes in and administers the antidote to him. Max balks at getting a $48 bill from Dr. Steele, but has no choice but to borrow money from 99 to pay it since he will need one more does of it in order for his treatment to be complete. Paul ‘Mousie’ Garner is Max’s building janitor John. 11/11/23
• 073. The Mysterious Dr. T – 12/30/1967
  • Max is doing his duty of guarding the CONTROL scientist, Professor Longnecker (Craddock C. Monroe aka Craddock Munro), who is working on the Omega Deltoid Solatron Mark II, which may give CONTROL the means to destroy KAOs. Longnecker is concerned that he won’t live to finish it, as he fears KAOS is targeting him for death. As Max is convincing him that he is being guarded around the clock from any weapons ever getting near him, Longnecker is poisoned by the coffee that Max brought him. Before he dies, he confesses to Max that none of the inventions were his own, but rather came from someone named who is known as Dr. T. It turns out that the coffee shop was a front for KAOS and they had been operating for over a year in order to get Longnecker. Max and 99 visit Longnecker’s apartment, where had lived posing as a beatnik comic book creator. While they are there, they are interrupted by Mr. Smith (Bill Erwin), the landlord who wants to show off the apartment to potential renters, and the newsboy (Peter Robbins) who has come to collect. Max and 99 find Longnecker’s date book and find that he has kept a lunch date every day at 3pm. Max and 99 go to Chinese restaurant in his book and wait until 3:00pm, receiving a message in the fortune cook that Dr. T would be there then. However, Siegfried and another KAOS agent show up and hold them at gunpoint in an effort to get to Dr. T. It is only the newsboy who shows up trying to peddle them a paper, but Siegfried throws him out. After no one else shows up, Siegfried surprises Max and 99 by letting them go. Max then spies the newsboy again and does some research on him, finding out that his name is Tyler J. Tattledove and he has all of the educational requirements to be a young scientist. The Chief orders Max to find Tattledover and pick him up, but they have a hard time shaking Siegfried from their tail. Siegfried then offers to team up with them in finding Dr. T in an effort to save time and money, agreeing that they can both make their pitches to Dr. T so that he can decide who he wants to work for. Dr. T meets them back at the Chinese restaurant and proves that he is indeed Dr. T by showing them a device that can freeze a coffee cup tossed into the air. Both sides make their pitch for good versus evil, but ultimately Dr. T chooses to be on the side of whoever 99 is with. Siegfried then pulls a gun on Max and they wind up in a fight, with Siegfried being joined by the waiter and chef of the restaurant in a martial arts duel. Dr. T gets his freezing device working again and is able to destroy Siegfried’s gun. Dr. T admits that he only gave Dr. Longnecker his scientific discoveries because he claimed he needed ideas for his comic book. Max is confounded on how Dr. T is able to blow bubbles with his gum. 3/14/24
• 074. The King Lives? – 1/6/1968
  • Max and the Chief are in the country of Coronia, visiting the summer place at Lindahoff to meet the friendly King Charles IX (Don Adams), who plans to give the United States the mineral need in their X-2 project. However, the King’s prime minister Basil (Don Adams) is not as friendly toward America and wants to become the king. The Chief tells Max that he fears that Basil has hired KAOS to assassinate King Charles. After Max gets his head stuck in a knight’s helmet, he meets King Charles and is shocked to see that he is his spitting image. Charles is then shot in the arm through the window, so his assistant Colonel Von Klaus (John Doucette) suggests that they hide Charles in the palace and let Max impersonate him before Charles has to catch the train to Gransburg for his coronation. While Von Klaus coaches Max on how to behave like King Charles, Basil is told by his assistant Otto of Oberfurstengagle (Richard Angarola) that Charles has been killed. Basil is pleased, but then sees Max dressed as Charles enter the room with Von Klaus. Basil pretends to be friendly with Charles, but when 99 comes to meet the king, Max throws Basil out of the room. Max reveals his disguise to 99, within earshot of the eavesdropping Basil and his men. They decide to kidnap 99, believing that Max will then trade her life for that of Charles. Meanwhile, Max meets Charles’ betrothed fiance Princess Marta (Judith McConnell) and takes delight in kissing her. They are interrupted by the Chief, who tells Max that the kidnapper has sent a note demanding that Max tell them where Charles is located, threatening 99’s life. Max knows he is walking into a trap but feels he must rescue 99. When he meets with Basil and his men  Otto, Heinrich of Holtsau, and Kukov of Klutzenglaken, he accidentally lets it slip that Charles is located in the castle. The men then try to kill Smart, but he takes out the three henchmen in a swordfight and finds the hiding place of Basil, where he is holed up with 99. As Basil pontificates on all of the body parts he plans to cut off of Max, he makes fun of Max’s skinny legs and angers Max to simply drive the sword through his abdomen. As Max prepares to leave Coronia, Von Klaus and Marta express their thanks, and Marta gives him a ring to remember her by. Max suggests that she can come with him, but Von Klaus reminds him that Marta is a princess with a duty in her country. Max rides off on his horse, and then quickly falls off of it. Johnny Carson appears unbilled as a herald. 3/14/24
• 075. The Groovy Guru – 1/13/1968
  • Max has a meeting with a hippy who offers information to CONTROL to put away the Groovy Guru (Larry Storch), who has been somehow hypnotizing teenagers with his radio broadcasts. However, the contact turns out to be Wailin’ Wanda (Sharon Vaughn), who is working for the Groovy Guru and attaches a purse with a bomb in it to Max’s wrist, then steals the key when they kiss in order to conceal their identities from a passerby. When Smart gets back to CONTROL and realizes he is carrying a bomb, they call in the bomb squad, who simply tosses Max down a chute, where the bomb explodes. Fortunately, the purse opens during the fall, and the bomb rolls ahead of him before exploding. Max is assigned to try and infiltrate the Groovy Guru, and since two CONTROL agents have already gone missing while investigating him, Max is given ‘lie’ pills by Dr. Steele that will force Max to lie if he is captured, tortured, and questioned. Max accidentally swallows a pill too early, so he winds up insulting a giant cab driver (Mickey Morton), who punches him and refuses to drive him. Max and 99 eventually make their way to the Temple of Meditation and Inner Peace, where they meet the Groovy Guru’s assistant guru (Barry Newman). He agrees to show them to the Groovy Guru himself but ends up trapping them in a room with an opening floor that sends them into another room, where they eventually do meet the Groovy Guru… albeit behind bulletproof glass. He tells them of his plan to use his broadcast of the popular band The Sacred Cows to hypnotize teenagers all over the world to attack all authority figures. He has teamed up with KAOS, who will then step in and take over all of the institutions of the world. The Groovy Guru shows them that he has the two previous CONTROL agents under mind control. Once the music of the Sacred Cows starts playing, 99 starts to slip under his control, but Max claims he can clear his mind. He takes the other “lie” pill, and when he is told to shoot 99, he tells them that gun is actually a rubber duck. He attempts to fight the zombie CONTROL agents, but he is knocked out. When he awakens, the Groovy Guru tells him and 99 that he is going to turn up the electronic sound enhancer so that tiny noises like their heartbeats will become so loud that their heads will explode. Max is able to remove a tuning fork from his watch, and the sound, although inaudible to human ears, is enough to make the equipment explode. Max is able to fight off the Groovy Guru, and 99 is able to unplug the transmitter so that the music of the Sacred Cows never reaches the airwaves. Ben Benay and Jerry Scheff are two of the Sacred Cows. 8/5/24
• 076. The Little Black Book: Part 1 – 1/27/1968
  • As Max sits at home preparing for a visit from his old Korean war buddy Sid Krimm (Don Rickles), a woman named Gina Matusik (Donna Danton) comes to his door claiming that she is defecting from KAOS and offers to sell him some of their secrets for $50,000. As Max goes to get her a drink, a gunman shoots her through Max’s window. Max finds her and carries her upstairs, and a little black book falls out of her clothes and lands on Max’s floor. Sid shows up and is suspicious by all of the technical gadgetry around Max’s house, especially when someone lobs a hand grenade into Max’s house and Sid has to throw it back out the window. Max claims that he is a greeting card salesman, but his behavior starts to make Sid think that he is crazy. As Max is tending to Gina, Sid finds the black book on the floor, and thinking that it is Max’s book of female phone numbers, he makes a call to a girl named Nancy and poses as Max. The girl who answers tells the nearby Maestro (Robert Easton) that Max has found the black book but doesn’t know what it is. He tells her to pose as a Nancy (Ann Prentiss) and take her friend Zelda (Arlene Golonka) and agree to meet Max at the Pen and Quill nightclub. Max finally confesses to Sid that he works for the government and is on a secret mission. Although Sid doesn’t believe him, he decides to go along with Max so that he can meet the girls, who plan to get Max into the backroom of the club. When Max asks Nancy about the black book, she agrees to tell him in the back room, where he is met by a KAOS agent who attacks him. Sid still thinks that Max is crazy, but Zelda verifies that Max is a spy, and that they are spies as well. When Max gets the upper hand in the fight and pulls his gun, Sid knocks him out, thinking that he is saving Max from getting into trouble. When Max awakens, Sid tells him that he gave the girls the black book. Max insists that Sid use his photographic memory to tell him Nancy’s phone number so that he can track them down. Max calls and wakes up the Chief so that he can meet Sid and convince him that Max is on the level. Even when Sid meets the Chief and Agent 99, he thinks they are both crazy as well. They are finally able to convince Sid that they are on the level when they phone President Johnson and let Sid speak to him. As Max gets ready to after the KAOS agents, Sid insists on going with him. When Max denies him, Sid threatens to expose CONTROL, so Max agrees to take him along, but not give him a gun. Meanwhile, outside the apartment, a gunman (James Komack) gleefully waits to take out both Max and Sid. Gil Perkins is the waiter. 8/5/24

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