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"Don't be a lichtenfreudal tissue." - Christi Adkins

mas6After a long day at Disneyland, it’s always nice to have a rather leisurely morning the day after, and that’s exactly what we did on Tuesday, July 1, 2014. There’s never any shortage of laughs when I’m at David’s house, what with quoting someone or something, or watching skewed Brady Bunch clips on YouTube, trying to get ready between the fits of cracking up. Eventually we composed ourselves and headed out to Los Angeles to meet Jimmy at his office. We milled about there briefly and then hit the road for the trek to Malibu Creek State Park, arriving a little bit after 11:00am.

Jimmy and I had talked about doing a trip out to Malibu Creek State Park to check out what remains of the on-location site of the M*A*S*H compound which had been used in both the original film and the TV series. In fact, parts of the parks had been owned by Paramount and 20th Century Fox and they had used the area as movie ranches. Many movie had been filmed here over the years, as far back as some of the Tarzan films of the 1930’s. Among them: How Green Was My Valley, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Planet of the Apes, The Defiant Ones, and Pleasantville. Part of the park had also been purchased from President Ronald Reagan, who owned a ranch there from 1951-1966.

The pre-convention activity of the day was a cruise on John Wayne’s yacht The Wild Goose in New Harbor, and lunch on the Queen Mary. This would have been a fun activity, but neither David nor Jimmy had signed up for it, so I decided to stick with them before the convention started. Besides, I figured I’d be eating like crazy during the trip, so the six mile hike sounded nice. So, the M*A*S*H location it was!

There was no way to just drive up to the M*A*S*H site, which would have made it convenient, but much less challenging. As it was, from the parking area, it was three miles to the site and three miles back by foot. We traveled the bulk of that distance via Crags Road and then at one point as we were nearing the location, the road simply ended and we were required to walk through a barely-trail-blazed section of overgrowth, inside which sound like a swarm of angry bees. I didn’t actually see any, but the buzzing was almost deafening!

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Jimmy checks in while David dances through the scenery

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Mountains that just say “MASH”

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One dry hike

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Lovely views along the dusty trail

The hike from that point was more up my alley, as it was a more traditional trail, until we finally came upon a M*A*S*H truck. There was no explanation as to its origin, but I suspect that it was actually one that was used on the set. We took plenty of time to climb in and out of it, examine it, and pose with it.

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David and Jimmy on the more traditional trails

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Working our way across the tough terrain

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Driving the ambulance, despite David’s apparent lack of confidence

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I let Jimmy drive and greet the photographer like a good doctor

But just around the corner was the real meat and potatoes of the location. This area had a signage with photos to match up, a mock-up of the famous signpost, stakes and strings placed where such memorable locations as “The Swamp” stood, and coolest of all, original vehicles that had been left on location…and then burned to death in a forest fire.

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A reproduction signpost at the site of the camp location

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Jimmy and I try to figure out which way to go

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Checking out the “THEN’ photos posted around the area. That’s the mess tent area behind us, still a ‘mess’ area.

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Production still taken on the set of the TV show M*A*S*H

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That same area today

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The lay of the land

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The helicopter pad

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Looking down at the hospital camp site from the helicopter pad

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Incoming!

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One of the original jeeps, looking quite different after surviving a forest fire

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Likewise one of the original ambulances

We took about a half-hour to explore the location, hike up to the helicopter launch pad, match up photos, and take pictures. Then we simply spent another good hour hiking back. We stopped off at Century Lake, where we assumed that many other films had been shot, including the famous scene of Butch and Sundance jumping into the lake. There was some loud moron actually swimming in the lake that said “No Swimming,” but that was of no consequence. We continued our hike, pointing a couple of other site-seeing gals along the correct path, warning them about the bees. As we neared the car, we saw a flock of scantily clad teens behaving like teens.

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A lizard worthy of his name

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Heading back

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The Century Lake dam

After taking a break so David could make a phone call, we headed over to Patrick’s Roadhouse in Santa Monica for lunch. We had worked up quite an appetite after our hike, so I treated my pals to a pretty darn good lunch. Not so coincidentally, this restaurant has been featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives as part of the episode Blue Plate Specials.

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DD&D #94: Patrick’s Roadhouse in Santa Monica, California

They had featured a few different burgers, all of which looked interesting…but I was lured into ordering the Rockefeller, Hughes, Getty, Onassis Burger by the little taunt on the menu that stated, “If you have to ask how much, you can’t afford it.” Turns out that I did have to ask, but also that I could afford it, even if it was frivolous. Using the “you only live once” philosophy, I shelled out the $40 for it. Apparently the price really fluctuates based on the price of caviar. I’ve seen on the internet where six years ago, it only cost $15, but the waitress told me that it had gone as high as $60. It must not have been selling much recently because the waitress herself took a picture of it before she served it to me.

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With my pals and our lunches

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This is what a $40 hamburger looks like

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This is what a man who would spend $40 on a hamburger looks like

So the questions you’re going to ask must certainly be “was it worth it?”, followed by “did you regret it?” Well, those are two different question, but I’d have to say that NO – it was not worth it. Especially in that caviar – at least that caviar – had very little taste to add to the mushrooms, sour cream, and jack cheese. But of course, I don’t regret it. It’s something I can say I did and then not do again. And even if it wasn’t worth $40, it was still a GREAT burger. And I must say that although we ate outside on the patio, the interior of the restaurant was as interesting as any in which I’ve eaten.

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The indoor dining area

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More of the dining room

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Even the bathroom was interesting

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The Ballantine Ale sign in the bathroom took me back to the giant Ballantine pillow we used to have

We drove from Santa Monica (past the famous pier that I’ve yet to actually visit) back to the Wiley offices and picked up Big Jimmy who joined us as Little Jimmy drove us around portion of Los Angeles in order to check out some of the Laurel & Hardy film locations that we’d be seeing during the upcoming week. Why, you ask? Because I had agreed to host a bus tour of locations during the convention and I wanted to make relatively sure that I knew what I was talking about.

So for the next couple of hours we fought the downtown L.A. traffic for drive-bys of locations that had been used in Laurel and Hardy’s movies Liberty, Berth Marks, Hog Wild, County Hospital, The Second Hundred Years, Lucky Dog, and Men o’ War. It was definitely helpful to me as it would enable me to talk about and point out locations.

We finished up around 7pm and went back to Jimmy’s office to pick up David’s car. We grabbed some takeout dinner from the San Sai Japanese Grill. Watching Seinfeld while we ate, we also began a bit of cramming for the upcoming trivia contest at the convention, hoping to keep hold of our claim to being undefeated as a team with Peter van Rooij.

We’d be finding out the answer that and much, much more as Laurel & Hardywood, the 19th International Sons of the Desert Convention would be beginning the next day.

The California vacation will continue as the convention begins

One Response to “M*A*S*H Outdoors and the World’s Most Expensive Burger”

  1. How were the fries?

    Dave Chasteen

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