The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by Paul and Ruth Henning

Theme song composed by Curt Massey and Paul Henning, performed by Curt Massey

• 001. Spur Line to Shady Rest – 9/24/1963
  • The president of the C. & F.W. Railroad, Norman Curtis (Roy Roberts), sends his crotchety vice-president Homer Bedloe (Charles Lane) to investigate a branch line that runs between Pixley and Hooterville, but does not appear to be connected to their mainline. When he gets there he finds a lackadaisical attitude from everyone in town including the operator of the Shady Rest Hotel between the two cities, Kate Bradley (Bea Benaderet) and her three attractive daughters Billie Jo (Jeannine Riley), Bobbie Jo (Pat Woodell), and Betty Jo (Linda Kaye Henning) and Kate’s Uncle Joe Carson (Edgar Buchanan), as well as the Hooterville Cannonball engineer Charley Pratt (Smiley Burnette) and engineer Floyd Smoot (Rufe Davis), and Sam Drucker (Frank Cady), the manager of Drucker’s Store in Hooterville. As Bedloe attempts to ride the train from Hooterville to Pixley, he is shocked to see that the train does not stick to its schedule, makes unscheduled stops to pick apples, and stops at the Shady Rest for the night so all of the passengers – including four traveling salesmen who are pursuing Billie Jo – can have dinner at the hotel. Bedloe finally loses his temper and fires Charley and Floyd, but then cannot figure out how to operating the train, finally accepting that he is stuck at the Shady Rest for the night. Among the salesmen are Eddie Quillan as Dick, and John Ashley as Fred. Don Washbrook is Herby Bates, who works at Drucker’s. William Young is Shorty. 12/29/14

• 002. Quick, Hide the Railroad – 10/1/1963
  • Uncle Joe can’t understand why Kate is being so hospitable to Homer Bedloe, but it is all a plan to keep him in bed while Charley and Floyd take the visiting salesmen to Pixley. When he wakes up, Kate and her daughters attempt to win him over with food, music, and telling him why the Cannonball is so important to their well-being. Bedloe remains firm and stops the train when it comes back to the Shady Rest by sitting in front of it. He insists that they take him to Hooterville, but they detach the engine and leave him behind in the car. Bedloe finds a handcart and heads toward Hooterville, but comes head-to-head with the Cannonball on its return trip with Mr. Drucker, who Kate has persuaded to act as marshal, judge, and mayor of Hooterville to serve him with 27 summons for damages totaling $150,000 caused by the train over the last 20 years, agreeing to postpone the summons if Bedloe leaves and lets the Cannonball resume its run. 12/29/14
• 003. The President Who Came to Dinner – 10/8/1963
  • After Homer Bedloe fails in his attempt at reclaiming the Cannonball, the C & F.W. president Norman Curtis heads to the region incognito so he can take back he train. He arrives by helicopter and is so filthy when the train picks him up that everyone mistakes him for a hobo. Still Kate has pity on him and takes him in and feeds him, much to the skepticism of Uncle Joe, whose chores Curtis takes over. He quickly becomes endeared to the Shady Rest and especially Kate. When Curtis mentions going back to the main office of the railroad, she assumes he’ll be looking for a job. When he does return, he nixes the idea of shutting down the railroad, and quickly returns to the Shady Rest with the news that he didn’t land the job. Uncle Joe still considers him a freeloader. The girls sing Curtis’ special song Apple on a Tree. Eve McVeagh is Curtis’ secretary Miss Hammond. 1/31/15
• 004. Is There a Doctor in the Roadhouse? – 10/15/1963
  • With the annual Jamboree Hoedown at the Shady Rest coming up, Norman accompanies Charley and Floyd to Pixley, where he claims he can use his railroad connections to get a flatcar to transport more people to the hoedown. But on the way, he accidentally breaks the throttle which puts the train out of commission. He reveals his true identity but no one believes him, but they still let him take the handcar to Hooterville so he can call in his contacts retired General Frank Newton (Addison Richards), George Prentice (Charles Meredith), president of Worldwide Airways, and Dave LaSalle (Douglas Dumbrille), president of Intercontinental Telephone, to help repair the train. LaSalle even has a needed part dropped by one of his planes. Uncle Joe thinks they are all hobos, but sure enough, the are able to fix the Cannonball. The hoedown carries on as schedule and is a rousing success. The only problem is that the firebox that Norman and his friends have fixed injures Floyd, who normally plays the fiddle. Norman stands in for them all of his friends get involved in providing the hoedown music. Cheerio Meredith plays Nettie, and Mary Young is Lydia. 1/31/15
• 005. The Courtship of Floyd Smoot – 10/22/1963
  • Floyd is anxious to get a return letter from his mail-order girlfriend, but when she breaks it off with him after receiving his picture, Floyd becomes depressed. Kate tries to give him confidence by calling him a ‘fickle heart-breakin’ Cassanova’ for turning to a mail-order bride when there are so many other local women who want him. Floyd assumes Kate is crazy about him and proposes. She tries to get Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo to scare him off by calling him ‘Daddy Floyd’ and asking him to tell them about the birds and the bees. He obviously passes these tests, but when Kate says that he’ll have to give up the Hooterville Cannonball, he realizes that he’ll have to remain a bachelor. Meanwhile Joe coaches the Hooterville Hornets football team to another big loss of 63-0, and tries to enlist Betty Jo to play as a running back, which Kate quickly forbids. 3/16/15
• 006. Please Buy My Violets – 10/29/1963
  • Salesmen Mr. Blake (George Cisar) and Mr. Gordon (Phil Gordon) are threatening to leave the Shady Rest because of constantly being bitten by mosquitoes. Kate thinks she has the problem solved since she’s sent away for $70 worth of window screens, but Uncle Joe has taken that money and invested it in 288 bottles of Lord and Lady Violet cologne with the intention being to sell it at a profit. Kate tries to sell it to Sam, but when a coffee salesman (Olan Soule) tells them how a magazine ad had swindled him into trying to unload it when he was 12, Kate doesn’t have the heart to take Sam’s money. Uncle Joe can’t even sell it to pig farmer Fred Ziffel (Hank Patterson) because the pigs can’t stand the smell of it. The sisters try to get the salesmen to buy it by letting them overhear how Billie Jo had been seduced by it… but it turns out that they actually do want to buy the whole lot of it for $170 when they realize how great it is at killing the mosquitoes. 3/16/15
• 007. The Ringer – 11/5/1963
  • The annual horseshoe tournament is getting set to take place at the Shady Rest, which brings people and revenue from afar to see the eight-time champion Pixley Fats (Henry Calvin) defend his title. Fats never speaks a word until the tournament is over, and everyone is afraid to face him in the first round. Herby takes the challenge and is shut out. Meanwhile Kate finds out that Betty Jo is a ringer and never misses in horseshoes and signs her to enter. Uncle Joe thinks it is a joke and that she needs to be prepared to lose, but after a couple of days, he takes notice and bets Floyd 50 cents that she’ll win. Kate makes sure that Betty Jo realizes that horseshoes are the only things in Fats’ life, and consequently Betty Jo throws the game after they are neck and neck for 51 points. Kate buys one of the good luck horseshoes that Joe is selling to make up for the 50 cents that he lost. 6/10/15
• 008. Kate’s Recipe for Hot Rhubarb – 11/12/1963
  • Kate tries to get bookworm Bobbie Jo interested in boys, likening them to rhubarb in that it’s not so great at first, but eventually you come to love it. She talks Bobbie Jo into being the date for Billie Jo’s date Junior Hocker’s (Russell Horton) friend Roger Budd (Jack Bannon). The date ends up disastrous as Billie Jo’s flirting with both boys made them all but ignore Bobbie Jo. Kate then tutors Bobbie Jo on what to wear, how to flatter them, how to be a good listener – by sitting through Uncle Joe’s tales – and how to wrinkle her nose flirtatiously. When Kate is done, she invites Roger to come back to go out with the ‘new’ girl, which he scoffs at… until he sees the new improved Bobbie Jo. 6/11/15
• 009. The Little Train Robbery – 11/19/1963
  • Two young men named Arthur Gilroy (John Wilder) and Lowell Righmeyer (Jimmy Hawkins) ride into town with the intention of robbing the Pixley bank, unbeknownst to anyone at the Shady Rest. They are lured into having lunch by Billie Jo, and learn that the Cannonball will be carrying a shipment from Pixley to Hooterville. They end up stopping the train en route and robbing it, only to find that the ‘shipment’ was merely deposit slips and other supplies. When Floyd lets it slip that Kate has a safe at the hotel, they force everyone at gunpoint back to rob the safe…only to find that Betty Jo has allowed their cat Miranda to have kittens in it. Arthur and Lowell end up joining the Bradleys for a meal and washing dishes with the girls. Knowing the boys are really good at heart, Kate staves off Trooper Benson (named in the credits as Fred Thompson, played by Norman Leavitt) whom Uncle Joe has brought back, having disarmed the boys of their licorice guns. 8/2/15
• 010. Bedloe Strikes Again – 11/26/1963
  • The Hooterville Hornets have lost again under the coaching of Uncle Joe, and the Cannonball has been pelted with eggs, cabbage, and tomatoes. The train also brings with it Homer Bedloe who is acting uncharacteristically nice to Kate and the gang. Sam Drucker finds out from Willie Trankis (William Benedict) that Bedloe has two directors from the railroad have come to inspect the Cannoball. Sam takes the train cart all the way to the Shady Rest to warn Kate, and they all spend the entire night cleaning up the train and furnishing it with the furniture from the hotel, and setting the clocks ahead so that Bedloe will go to sleep early. The directors John Fisher (John Hoyt) and Max Thornton (John Hubbard) are skeptical, but after getting first class treatment including a haircut and manicure, they decide it is even better than the fancy trains in Europe. They relegate Bedloe to shining Floyd and Charley’s shoes, wondering where he went wrong. 8/2/15
• 011. Uncle Joe’s Replacement – 12/3/1963
  • On a trip to Drucker’s General Store to pick up a watch for Uncle Joe’s birthday, Kate witnesses Herby get in trouble for being clumsy once again. She tries to boost his confidence by telling him that she’d gladly hire him as assistant manager at the Shady Rest. He jumps at the opportunity, much to Kate’s dismay. Kate makes good on the promise, but Uncle Joe is quickly offended and thinks he is being ousted for being old. Although he tells Kate he has gotten an executive position, Uncle Joe actually takes a job as the janitor at a drug store and then checks in at the Shady Rest as a rather picky guest. Kate talks Sam into hiring Uncle Joe at Drucker’s, and he does… with the stipulation that Billie Jo also come to work for him. Soon Uncle Joe begins to ruin the business by printing off a ridiculous number of flyers and offering free babysitting, all the while Herby is breaking dishes left and right at the Shady Rest. Eventually Kate arranges to to have Drucker ask Herby back, while she asks Uncle Joe to come back to the Shady Rest. Beverly Wills is Mrs. Norton. Stephen Ellsworth is Hooper. 10/28/15
• 012. Honeymoon Hotel – 12/10/1963
  • When Uncle Joe is sworn in as the temporary Justice of the Peace, he gets a money-making idea to offer a Honeymoon Special to couples that he marries. Charley rounds up young couple Walter Shepherd (Tommy Ivo) and Elsie Gregg (Judee Morton). After he marries them, Uncle Joe realizes that he hasn’t had his license recorded at the courthouse, so the marriage was not official. Kate tries to stall the couple from honeymooning in their room by occupying Elsie with making pancakes, having Floyd play checkers with Walter, sending them on a train ride with Floyd, and condemning the stairs that lead to their room. Uncle Joe and Charley search for Sam Drucker, who as a judge can legally marry them. They fetch him from his vacation at Lost Lake and drag him back to perform the ceremony while he is stuck in his sleeping bag. The couple’s marriage is official, even if they fall asleep during the ceremony. 10/30/15

• 013. A Night at the Hooterville Hilton – 12/17/1963
  • Kate is initially excited to know that Gladys Stroud (Elvia Allman) hotel critic for the Centerville Sun Express, will be coming to the Shady Rest, until she finds out that the printer had accidentally sent out fake hotel brochures that Uncle Joe had designed to help get a loan. Knowing that Stroud will be expecting a private bathroom, swimming pool, tennis court, golf course, steam room, bowling alley, and ice skating rink, Uncle Joe tries to stop her in Hooterville, but is unable to when he overhears her threaten to put Willie the cab driver out of business. Instead Uncle Joe concocts a plan to have Kate’s girls simulate coming to and from the various made-up amenities. The ruse is thwarted when Stroud walks in and finds the preparing fake steam for the steam room. However Uncle Joe is able to romance her and get her to back off closing down the Shady Rest and throwing them in jail for false advertising, although it means he has to attend her school reunion with her. 1/2/16
• 014. Cannonball Christmas – 12/24/1963
  • While everyone tries to work together to get the Cannonball decorated for a Christmas trip where everyone sings Christmas carols and delivers gifts, Homer Bedloe has announced to his boss Mr. Curtis that he knows of a C. & F.W. infraction that he intends to correct even if it means working Christmas. He takes the company plane to Hooterville, but misses the train so is forced to travel by handcar to the Shady Rest. While decorating, Herby is obsessed with kissing Billie Jo under the mistletoe, Uncle Joe and Charley argue over who gets to play Santa Claus, and Charley tends to a cow that he forgot to drop off for a Christmas gift. Bedloe seizes the Cannonball, citing the infraction of decorating it, but when Mr. Curtis catches wind of what he is doing from his secretary Miss Evans (Gloria Marshall), he takes the helicopter to the Shady Rest and forces Bedloe to be the one to play Santa Claus. The Cannonball proceeds with the festivities as planned. 1/3/16
• 015. Herby Gets Drafted – 12/31/1963
  • During a visit to Drucker’s General Store, Kate and the girls learn that Herby has been drafted into the army. Herby is nervous, but the ladies convince him he could become an astronaut. Kate throws him a going-away party, during which Herby competes with Junior Hocker for the affections of Billie Jo. Uncle Joe wants to manage Herby’s career to propel him to be the next John Glenn, and encourages him to make a speech proclaiming his aspirations. After six days in the service, during which Billie Jo has faithfully written him letters, Herby returns having received a medical discharge for his trick knee. Kate keeps his return secret, hides him in the attic, and visits the General Store to write an article for the newspaper that Herby is coming home with a medical discharge following his ‘classified’ assignment. Kate sneaks Herby out disguised as a woman to await Herby’s ‘homecoming’ on the Cannonball. Billie Jo mistakes the disguised Herbie as one of Herby’s female admirer’s and gets jealous, compounded when Herby sneaks on board and comes off with traces of lipstick on him. Billie Jo kisses Herby and vows never to let him out of her sight. Uncle Joe offers Junior his services of advancing him into politics, but he is refused. 3/10/16
• 016. Bobbie Jo and the Beatnik – 1/7/1964
  • Bobbie Jo is taken by a free-spirited poet named Alan Landman (Dennis Hopper) from Greenwich Village, whom she meets at the library in Hooterville en route to New Orleans. Although Billie Jo and Uncle Joe can’t stand him, Kate gives him a chance and even hold a poetry reading… but when no one can comprehend his angry poems, he storms out. It becomes clear that Alan has a vendetta against the working world, and Kate starts to become concerned. Alan vows to send for Bobbie Jo when he gets to New Orleans, and nothing Kate can say can dissuade him or Bobbie Jo. When Roger Stanley (Hugh Stanley), an executive from Rollo Dog Food arrives at the Shady Rest promising to pay $2000 who can get into a dog’s head and write a dog food jingle, Alan takes interest and comes up with multiple jingles, and even resorts to barking like a dog. Bobbie Jo becomes disillusioned with Alan, and Kate later admits to Uncle Joe that Roger Stanley was actually a visiting restaurant supply salesman whom she put up to the ruse. NOTE: This is the only episode in the series in which Linda Kaye Henning doesn’t appear. 3/10/16
• 017. My Daughter the Doctor – 1/14/1964
  • As Bettie Jo and Bobbie Jo engage in the Hooterville Hop dance craze with its inventor Paul Henderson (Paul De Rolf), Kate presents Billie Jo with the good news that the endowment of $500 that her late father William had taken out for her with the wishes that she become a doctor has matured. Billie Jo however is more interested in going to Hollywood to try her hand at acting. Uncle Joe isn’t much help when he offers to act as Billie Jo’s chaperon. Kate starts out to get Dr. Depew from Pixley to come talk to Billie Jo, but then decides that his young attractive assistant would be more suitable. She brings Dr. Clayton Harris (Adam West) back to the Shady Rest to have a look at Uncle Joe, whom Kate convinces to act sick to prove his acting ability. Billie Jo leaves with Junior, so Kate tries to stall the doctor further. Billie Jo eventually returns and assists Harris with drawing blood from Uncle Joe, who now believes he is actually sick, which causes Billie Jo to faint. The entire house then gets hooked on the Hooterville Hop, while Uncle Joe eats a pie to regain his strength. NOTE: This episode is the first of an informal two-parter. 6/14/16
• 018. Hooterville vs. Hollywood – 1/21/1964
  • Kate tries to think of a way to convince Billie Jo not to run off to Hollywood with her $500, and Sam advises her to consult Dr. Joseph Depew (Don Beddoe), who had delivered all of Kate’s girls, for advice. He puts forth the idea to not push Billie Jo and Dr. Harris together on a professional level, but rather as doctor and patient. Everyone convinces Billie Jo that she looks pale and sickly, until she herself believes it. They then get Dr. Harris to check up on her and Dr. Depew assigns him the case. This still doesn’t deter her Hollywood plans, and Uncle Joe even has her simulate put her footprints in the cement at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. Kate then has Sam print a special edition of the paper that states in the Happenings Around Town section that Dr. Harris has been giving special attention to the girls in Pixley. Now that she has the competition, Billie Jo decides to concentrate her efforts on impressing Dr. Harris by going to medical school. NOTE: This episode is the second of an informal two-parter. 6/14/16
• 019. Visit from a Big Star – 1/28/1964
  • Uncle Joe has made a deal with Lucy Wayne (Joan Marshall), the secretary to movie star Lane Haggard (John Vivyan), to provide a getaway for Haggard, where he can be free of distractions from women… and naturally Joe tells them nothing of Kate and her three girls. Haggard cannot help but to turn on the charm, to the point that Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo, and Betty Jo all think that Haggard is in love with them. Kate becomes concerned and talks to Lucy, who tells her that this is just the way he is and that there are dozens of Hollywood girls who think they are marrying him; she also tells Kate that she herself is in love with him. Kate then throws herself at Haggard and Uncle Joe threatens to put him through a shotgun wedding. The only way Kate will let him off the hook is if he is marrying someone else… which conveniently turns out to be Lucy. Jack Henderson and Margaret Bert appear as older fans, while Vickie King, Jaclyn Carmichael, Jacque Palmer, and Rick Murray appear as younger fans. 9/4/16
• 020. Last Chance Farm – 2/4/1964
  • The Shady Rest is falling on hard times, and Kate asks Joe to pawn her locket so that she can pay the bills. While Joe is at the general store, he meets two plump ladies Henrietta Boswell (Dorothy Konrad) and Gertrude Hawley (Pearl Shear) who are looking for Madame Bovary’s reducing farm. Joe tells the ladies that he works at the Shady Rest Reducing Farm and convinces them to check in for $100 each. He also convinces them that the Bradley girls are in their thirties, that the key to losing weight are Kate’s turnip greens, and that doing his work for him helps them lose weight. When Kate finds out what Joe is doing, she demands that he tells them the truth, but instead he tells them that Kate is becoming jealous because they are losing so much weight. Thus they don’t believe Kate when she tries to tell them the truth. The ladies spy on Kate and come to believe that breathing in steam from the Cannonball is another key to weight loss. However by the time they check out, they realize that Joe has pulled a fast one on them… but enjoyed their time there so much that pay the full price and say they’ll lose weight later at Madame Bovary’s. 9/4/16
• 021. The Very Old Antique – 2/11/1964
  • Kate spots Homer Bedloe in town and although she is skeptical, Bedloe assures her that he will not be attempting to scrap or derail the Cannonball. Instead he brings in retired railroad tycoon Philip Waterhouse (Everett Sloane) who is interested in buying the Cannonball. The crotchety Waterhouse and his secretary Mr. Cassidy (Dick Patterson) rub Kate the wrong way right away, but she insists on riding on Waterhouse’s test run while Bedloe is left behind. Floyd and Charley make it appear that the train is full of defects, and then bring Waterhouse and Cassidy back to the Shady Rest. Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo lure Cassidy away. While Uncle Joe tries to sell Waterhouse even more antiques, Waterhouse not only resists him she tells Kate that she won’t fool him by giving him a sob story and begins breaking Kate’s knick-knacks. Kate confides him to his room, but brings him a homemade dinner. Waterhouse ends up declining purchasing the Cannoball, claiming that the engine isn’t the type specified. As Waterhouse and company depart on the Cannonball, he shoots Kate a wink. 11/25/16
• 022. The Art Game – 2/18/1964
  • Uncle Joe accepts a batch of paint-by-number canvases in lieu of payment at the Shady Rest, and when he attempts to paint one of the sailboats, it looks nothing like it is supposed to. Nevertheless he proudly displays it on the wall and it is spotted by visiting antiques dealer Mr. Cheever (Lyle Talbot) and his assistant Mr. Parks (Olan Soule). He wants to buy it immediately it for $15… but not for the painting but the antique frame which Cheever values at $200. Joe ends up putting it in a different frame thinking that he is upgrading. Joe is written up in the local paper and gets to work painting the rest of the canvases, which brings art collectors around for miles to see the art show. Cheever returns in order to get the frame and confesses that he really wanted the frame, offering $200 for it. Kate agrees as long as he pretends to be buying Joe’s five paintings at $40 each… and getting Joe to promise not to paint any longer in order to ‘protect his investment.’ Ian Wolfe is E.T. Gibbs. 11/25/16
• 023. Betty Jo’s First Love – 2/25/1964
  • Betty Jo has a huge crush on the homely and awkward Orville Miggs (Jimmy Hawkins), but his interest lies more in her helping him fix up his car. Consequently she is distracted from everything else, so Kate decides to help move along their relationship. She gets Betty Jo to wear a dress, but Orville thinks it’s silly since they’re working on his car. Kate then invites him over and tries to encourage him to kiss Betty Jo. When that doesn’t work, she encourages her to read poetry to him, but all he thinks about is his car. She then gets Uncle Joe, Floyd, and Charley to threaten him into attending a Hooterville Hop dance at the Shady Rest with Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo and their boyfriends Roger Budd and Paul Henderson. Joe also has to force him into dancing. Eventually Betty Jo gets him onto the sofa and plants a kiss on him. After they realize it was no big deal, they return to their friendship and working on the car. Orville gives her a gift as well: a set of wrenches. 3/7/17
• 024. Behind All Silver, There’s a Cloud Lining – 3/3/1964
  • When Kate asks Uncle Joe to dig a drainage ditch around the Cannonball train tracks, Uncle Joe decides to advertise that there is silver buried around the tracks so that he can get others to do his digging. Meanwhile on his day off, Homer Bledsoe shoes up for a ‘spot inspection’ of their Cannonball’s profit/loss statements. Mr. Curtis calls him off immediately, but Homer comes up with another idea when he finds out what Joe is up to, thinking that if he cheaply sells off leases to the railroad track property to prospectors, they will not only dig around the tracks, but will dig up the tracks and destroy the line. Once Kate realizes what is going on, she brings in an assayer (Patrick Waltz) to measure the silver ore content of minerals that Floyd and Charley find… which is actually Kate’s melted down silverware. This prompts Bledsoe to try and buy back the leases, but when Uncle Joe overhears the assayer’s assessment, he buys the leases himself from the frustrated prospectors. Kate forces him to sell them back to Bledsoe, with the condition that he repair the railroad tracks, increase Floyd and Charley’s pensions and buy them a new suit. When Curtis finds out about the whole situation, he forces Bledsoe to dig a gigantic hole in search of the so-called silver. Karen Norris is Curtis’s secretary Miss Hammond. Glen Strange is Hawley. 3/8/17
• 025. The Talent Contest – 3/10/1964
  • When Uncle Joe finds out that a talent contest with a $50 prize and trip to Chicago will be held in town, he volunteers the Shady Rest as its location. Kate agrees to let the girls enter, as long as they are not in it for the competition but for the fun of it. Uncle Joe talks the girls into trying to win to give Kate the prize money. He pleads with Floyd and Charley to drop out of the contest and uses reverse psychology to get Mrs. Whipple (Nora Marlowe) to get her singing son Tad (Jay Ripley) to drop out, and convinces yodeler Mabel Snark (Maxine Semon) that there will be a bachelor convention elsewhere that day. During the contest Bobbie Jo sings Three Little Words, Billie Jo recites The Raven, and Betty Jo dancing to Oh Susanna – up against Tad’s singing, Mabel’s yodeling, Charley and Floyd singing When We Ran with the Old Machine, Burson Treadwell playing the singing saw, and Leota Linquip and her musical jugs. When the girls realize that they are clamoring for the first prize, they decide to drop out and plan to visit Chicago at another time together. Tad wins the contest and the Bradley girls perform The Hooterville Cannonball to round out the evening. 8/30/17
• 026. Kate and the Manpower Problem – 3/17/1964
  • An old friend of Kate’s named Emily Hoskins (Rosemary DeCamp) comes to the Shady Rest with her new husband Avery Mapes (Robert Riordan), and immediately starts to push Kate toward pursuing a husband. Furthermore, Emily persuades the girls that Kate will be old and alone once they live, so they jump on board in trying to fix her up. They use their own money to offer discounts to bachelor traveling salesmen to come stay at the Shady Rest, then convince Kate to get dressed up nice to host them. Among the salesmen are Grover Woodstock (Walter Reed), Wilbur Spriggs (Robert Carson), and Tom Hartley (Allen Ray). Uncle Joe is afraid that if Kate gets married, the new husband will take his job, so he pretends to be a house detective and tries to run Woodstock out of town. When Kate catches him in the act, she realizes that the girls are trying to fix her up, so she conspires with the men to get even… by pretending to be a ‘party girl’ with all of the men. When Reverend Mimms (Jess Kirkpatrick) stops by and sees her dancing the Hooterville Hop with the men, she has to explain the situation to him. Confident that the girls will let her live her own life, they come outside and insist she wear a jacket before she gets cold. Richard Norris is another salesman. 8/31/17
• 027. The Ladybugs – 3/24/1964
  • With the popularity of The Beatles sweeping Pixley, Uncle Joe has a scheme to buy the girls and their friend Sally Ragsdale (Sheila James) costumes and mop top wigs and have them form a band called The Ladybugs. When they perform the song I’ll Be Your Ladybug for Kate, she is initially aghast at the music and their appearances, then believes it to be an early April Fools joke. Uncle Joe arranges for booking agent Colonel Partridge (Jesse White) to come from Springfield to see them play, while Billie Jo heads into town to round up a group of boys to watch their performance. Partridge has his doubts, especially when Kate tells him that Uncle Joe is crazy, but when they perform I Saw Him Standing There and the boys do in fact swoon, cheer, and even faint, he decides to sing them to a contract. Kate isn’t thrilled about her girls going on tour, but when Sally’s father Pete (Michael Ross), who happens to be the Sheriff, hears about it, he nixes the idea of Sally being part of the group immediately. This leaves Uncle Joe to step in and perform as the fourth member, a sight that drives both Kate and Colonel Partridge to smelling salts. 3/18/18
• 028. The Hooterville Flivverball – 3/31/1964
  • With Kate away tending to her sick Aunt Winnifred in Groverdale, Uncle Joe does the buying at Drucker’s store. While savoring haggling over a washboard and a hat, Joe ignores the pleas of Floyd to re-board the Cannonball to head to their next stop in Pixley. Eventually they leave without him, forcing him to walk back home. When Joe returns he is furious with Floyd and Charley and refuses to speak to them when he gets home. Meanwhile Orville has attached handcar wheels to his flivver so that it can travel along the Cannonball’s tracks when he takes Betty Jo on a date. Uncle Jo gets the idea to use the flivver to start his own railroad called the Hooterville Flivverball. His venture goes surprisingly well and he is able to convince several customers to pay him to give them a ride, which hurts the business of the Cannonball. When Kate returns, she is irritated at the feud and refuses to feed Uncle Joe or Floyd and Charley until they make up. Eventually, tired of green bananas and World War 1 rations, the men agree to a truce and Joe agrees to give up his notion of operating the Flivverball. They all rush back to the Shady Rest to eat a good dinner. 3/19/18
• 029. Kate the Stockholder – 4/7/1964
  • With Mr. Curtis on vacation in Paris, Homer Bedloe convinces acting manager J.B. Giddings (Lauren Gilbert) send him to act as superintendent for the Cannonball Express, as he knows that imposing by-the-book regulations on Charley and Floyd will convince them to shut it down. He insists on keeping the schedule to the minute, and enforcing the rule that they can’t eat or drink while on duty. Bedloe grows confident when he runs them ragged, planning to get them up early for a practice emergency run. Kate gets to angry that she runs Bedloe out of the hotel, and retaliates by telling her that there will no more stops at the Shady Rest. Kate gets the idea to the C. & F.W. stockholders meeting to tell them that they’re paying Bedloe $30,000 to run the single branch line. The stockholders suggest that if the Cannonball is shut down, they should get rid of the superintendent. Bedloe then has to make a pitch to keep it open. The stockholders agree, and Kate convinces them that it would be more beneficial of Bedloe was re-assigned to another line that needed cleaned up, so J.B. assigns him to a line in Alaska. 11/19/18
• 030. Kate and the Dowager – 4/14/1964
  • The Pixley Savings and Loan auditor Mr. Bunce (Jonathan Hole) has serious doubts about whether he’ll be able to recommend extending the Shady Rest’s loan, but when rich society matron Clara Watkins (Doris Packer) and her son Sonny (Peter Brooks) show up for a stay, Mr. Bunce sticks around to see if she will endorse the hotel to her society friends. While she has gone through numerous husbands and is now looking for a new one, she has brought Sonny here to ponder his future after getting kicked out of multiple schools. Sonny takes an immediate liking to Billie Jo, much to her irritation and her sisters’ amusement. When Mrs. Watkins begins talking about marriage plans between the kids, Kate has to put a stop to the conversation and tell her that Billie Jo isn’t interested. Mrs. Watkins nearly storms out, but Joe gets the idea to court her if it will save the hotel. It works like a charm and he eventually proposes to her. Mrs. Watkins, who compares Joe to an old dog that she had to tame, accepts the proposal. Kate hatches a plan to stop the marriage, but bringing Floyd and Charley in and to court her. Watkins, seeing the opportunity to have some swinging fun, declines Joe’s proposal so she can meet all of her ‘suitors.’ When Joe asks if she will take pity on the hotel and lend him some money so they won’t lose it, she reveals that she owns the Pixley Savings and Loan, and demands that Bunce approve the Shady Rest’s loan. Billie Jo has solved her problem with Sonny, but convincing him that Bobbie Jo is more to his liking… much to her chagrin. 11/26/18
• 031. Charley Abandons the Cannonball –  4/21/1964
  • Charley feels snubbed when Floyd declines his invitation, and then when he is further declined invitations by Kate and Joe, and then Betty Jo opts to go on a date with Orville rather than helping him on the Cannonball, Charley decides he is no longer needed in Hooterville and says he is heading out for Broadway. Kate tries to convince him he is needed by telling him that Orville plans to ask Betty Jo to marry him, and that she needs him to give advice to Orville. Charley quickly sees through the ruse, and continues with his plans to bring in his replacement Mr. Tuttle (Bob Hastings). As Charley is about to leave town, Orville approaches him to tell him that he wants to become an engineer after spending time with him, but Charley thinks it is another of Kate’s concoctions. Then Betty Jo comes back from riding on the Cannonball, telling him that Tuttle refuses to stop the train to assist the people of the town with various tasks that Charley had always handled. Charley suddenly feels needed again and hopes for his old job, but Tuttle refuses to give up and vows to whip the train back into shape. Charley then convinces him of all of the extra tasks he’ll be asked to perform, and that if he declines he might be threatened by the people. Tuttle quits, and Charley is ecstatic to have his old job back and feel needed again, so he leads his friends in a rendition of the Hooterville Cannonball song. 9/12/19
• 032. Dog Days at Shady Rest – 4/28/1964
  • Mr. Curtis tells Homer Bedloe to return to Hooterville, and although Bedloe hopes it is to retire the Cannonball, it is actually to get Curtis’s housekeeper’s dog Fred out in the country so that he can find his bark again. He also hopes that the kindness of the Hooterville folks will rub off on Bedloe, who checks into the Shady Rest and presents himself as a changed man. However, he tells Uncle Joe that Curtis will be angry if Fred returns as a barker. Kate doesn’t trust Bedloe, but Uncle Joe falls for the ruse and barks back at Fred when he barks, causing him to cower in fear and stop barking. Bedloe hopes that this will anger Curtis and entice him to close down the Cannonball. However Kate gets the idea to bring in every female dog in town to turn Fred’s head. Only one works: Orville’s dog Sheba, which she sends ahead to Mr. Curtis so that when Fred returns, Fred’s bark is everything he hoped it would be. Donald Kerr is the salesman. 9/29/19
• 033. A Millionaire for Kate – 5/5/1964
  • Kate receives a letter from H.J. “Herbie” Grant (Hayden Rorke), an old high school crush who claims that he is now rich and successful, saying that he will be coming to Hooterville on business and would like to visit. Uncle Joe thinks that Grant is a phony, sight unseen. The girls are reluctant to head off to Groverdale to visit their Aunt Winifred, but Kate convinces them to leave. Grant arrives in Hooterville and makes contact with his secretary Georgette (Gladys Holland) in Paris, before taking the train to the Shady Rest, where he crosses path with Uncle Joe who claims to be the house dick. Worried that Grant is a gigolo, Joe talks Mabel Snark into pursing him, and then tells Sheriff Ragsdale that Grant is a wanted con man. Later Orville finds an old magazine with a picture of Grant, indicating that he indeed is a millionaire. At that point, he changes his tune about Grant and tries to marry him off to Kate. Grant does in fact have romantic intentions toward Kate. When the Sheriff shows up, Joe tries to stop him from interfering with the dinner, and then tells him that Orville is holding Kate as hostage in order to divert his attention. Ragsdale doesn’t buy the story, and wants to see Kate. Joe comes clean and tells the Sheriff that he always wanted to marry into money. The Sheriff stands down but says that Joe needs to spend the night in jail for the false report. Mabel then shows up wanting to meet Grant, so Joe has to scurry her off as well by telling her that it is actually him who has a crush on her. As she tries to kiss Joe, Kate and Herbie emerge from the dining room, and assure everyone that they’ve decided that they come from different worlds and a marriage would never work. Joe would rather be arrested than go on a moonlight walk with Mabel, but the Sheriff leaves Joe at her mercy. 3/20/20
•  034. Bedloe and Son – 5/12/1964
  • Kate receives a postcard from Homer Bedloe, who plans to bring his son Homer Jr. (Steve Franken), a young man following in his father’s footsteps of nastiness who is looking forward to seeing his father rip Kate and her family to shreds. When they arrive, Homer presents himself at a changed man who wants to educate his son on the ways of the Shady Rest and be exposed to females. Kate falls for his spiel, and although it is obvious that Junior is attracted to the girls, he vows to stay behind after his father leaves and find the family’s Achilles heel and come up with a plot to destroy the Cannonball. As soon as his father leaves, Junior feigns breaking down in tears. Later under the guise of writing a book, he interviews Uncle Joe, and then Charley and Floyd about potential violations that have taken place on the Cannonball. Junior is flabbergasted when they tell him that they are going to stop the train to go fishing, but when he fishes along with them for his first time, he is thrilled to catch a fish. Back at the Shady Rest he enjoys himself joining in with the girls to do the Hooterville Hop. He feels so overcome with guilt that he admits to Kate that he and his father have been lying to them, but can’t understand why everyone is so nice to him without wanting anything from him. He sends for his father, who arrives triumphant that Junior has settled the matter of the Cannonball, only to find that Junior is a changed man who now promotes honesty and truth. Homer is aghast and drags him off to return home and see his psychiatrist, thinking he has been brainwashed. 3/20/20
• 035. Local Girl Makes Good – 5/19/1964
  • Successful businesswoman Mary Jane Hastings (Elena Verdugo), who used to live in the area, returns to accept a Chamber of Commerce award but comes early to spend time in her old hometown. She brings along her assistant Steve (Peter Hansen) and has enlisted local boys Roger Budd and Phil Willis (Bert Patton) to carry her baggage from the station. She also asks the Bradley girls to be her social secretaries. Without a phone, Uncle Joe is using a carrier pigeon (Hector) to communicate messages, and using Floyd and Charley to haul her back and forth to the closest phone at their neighbor Hank Folsom’s house seven miles down the line. Kate starts to realize how easily Mary Jane is manipulating the men in town to bend to her will. The girls are able to get Roger and Phil to do their bidding as well, using going to the dance with them as leverage. Kate believes that Mary Jane is a bad example for her girl, so she confronts Steve as to why he crumbles at her every order. He admits that he does it because he is in love with Mary Jane. Kate advise him to exert his authority and cut her down to size. Before he can do so, Mary Jane announces she has to leave town for a business deal and won’t be able to stay and accept her reward. Steve stands up to her and tells her that if she wants the award, she’ll have to accept it herself because he’s done being her errand boy. It backfires and Mary Jane fires him. Kate confront her, and she is livid that Steve spoke to her that way… considering she is in love with him too. The two of them reconcile before either can leave town, and they decide to stay in town to accept the award while Steve takes care of the business, since she is now putting him charge. Bobbie Jo and Billie Jo tells the boys that they can be the bosses now too. The women are now all through with giving orders, except Kate who still has plenty of work for Uncle Joe. 7/1/20
• 036. Cave Woman – 5/26/1964
  • As Uncle Joe is showing Kate a cave that he proposes that the Shady Rest use as a wine cellar, Betty Jo brings them a telegram from Brooks T. Webster (John Clarke), vice president of the Groverdale Lumber, Gravel, and Soft Drink Company, requesting reservations for 40 businessmen and announcing his plans to come scope out the hotel. Uncle Joe then has Kate check out the inside of the cave and as soon as she goes in, Uncle Joe removes a horseshoe from the outside wall and causes a small avalanche that traps her inside. Although she finds a hole that she can stick her head out of, she can’t get out. Uncle Joe tries to get Ding Woodhouse (Andy Albin) to bring his tractor to move the rock that fell in front of the entrance, but it is out of commission and won’t be put together until the next morning. Betty Jo and Billie Jo try to keep her occupied for the next four hours, but she is frantic to get back and prepare the Shady Rest for Webster’s visit. When Mr. Webster arrives at the Shady Rest to scope it out for the convention, Joe and the girls return and try to stall him from eating. Billie Jo can’t even romance his mind off food, as he is starving. The girls bring the ingredients to the cave so that Kate can work her cooking magic. The girls then run the food back to the hotel course by course, and although there is a delay between courses as Webster scarfs down each plate in mere seconds, he enjoys the food and wants to thank the chef. Billie Jo is able to sneak dessert onto the table without him ever seeing her, and declares the food and service ‘magic’. The next morning Ding brings the tractor and frees Kate from the cave. Mr. Webster thanks Kate for a great time, but tells them that he doesn’t make any decisions about the lodging, and that the president Mr. Feasel will be visiting the next morning to review the place. As Kate works her way back to the hotel, she trips and sprains her ankle, and prepares herself to do Feasel’s cooking from her bed. 7/1/20
• 037. Kate Flat on Her Back – 6/2/1964
  • Kate limps her way back from the cave to the Shady Rest with a sprained ankle. Dr. John Rhone (Willis Bouchey) tells her that she has to stay off her feet for several weeks, and although she is hesitant, she agrees to let Uncle Joe and the girls take care of the business. Uncle Joe sees it as an opportunity to make some changes to the hotel, starting with hiring guitar player Elgin “Smokey” Harner (Don Dubbins) to entertain the guests. The re-paint and re-decorate the hotel in perparation for Hurley Feasel’s (Barry Kelley) arrival so he can inspect it to see if it meets the needs of the Groverdale Lumber, Gravel, and Soft Drink Company before booking it for the company convention. Feasel shows up a day early while the place is still a mess. Smokey does less playing and more eating than they bargained for, and Feasel has bad experiences with cold water, bad food, and disorganization. All the while Uncle Joe and the girls convince Kate that everything is going great. The girls are hoping that Kate can make a final breakfast and repair their image with Mr. Feasel, and miracoulously Dr. Rhone tells Kate that she’s cured. However since she thinks everything is running great, she tells the doctor to let them have their victory and to tell them that she’s still not cured and needs three more days in bed. Billie Jo thinks they can use Smokey to croon to Feasel, threatening that they won’t feed him if he doesn’t perform. As Feasel tries to leave, Smokey sings On Top of Old Smokey to him… which happens to be Feasel’s most hated song, and also the only song that Smokey knows. Feasel storms off, so the girls come up with another plan. They play a record downstairs and make a lot of party sounds to convince Kate that the hotel is full of conventioneers. She buys it initially, but then comes downstairs and sees the empty lobby and goes back to her room disappointed. The next morning, Feasel returns and says he’s going to use the hotel, so his salesmen will have a low standard of lodgings when they are out on the road. However when he tries Kate’s delicious chicken and dumplings, he tells them that they’ve ruined everything. 10/16/20
• 038. The Genghis Keane Story – 6/9/1964
  • Kate gets world that Adelaide Keane (Lurene Tuttle), a former teacher of both Kate and Bobbie Jo, is coming for a stay at the Shady Rest. They had nicknamed her “Genghis Keane” because she was such a tyrant in school. However when Ms. Keane shows up, she is as sweet and docile as can be. They all try to rile her to spring into her old self, but she doesn’t take the bait. When she Betty Jo asks her to help her with homework, Kate gets the idea to have Bobbie Jo ask for help as well. This quickly restores her to her old tyrannical teaching ways. In addition she starts instilling manners in Uncle Joe and a guest named Mort (Eddie Quillan), and start breakfast before Charlie and Floyd arrive since they are late. Uncle Joe starts to worry that she is driving off business, and he seems to be correct when Mort leaves in protest. Kate decides to talk to her, while everyone else avoids her. However the absense of everyone causes Ms. Keane to break down crying that she’s once again driven everyone off. Kate feels sorry for her and tells her that everyone else is off having a picnic and not avoiding her. Kate and the girls come up with a plan, and they set up a free refreshments table in front of Drucker’s store in order to recruit townsfolk who want more education to attend a night class with Miss Keane. They quickly recruit Fred Ziffel, Sam Drucker, and high school drop-out Harold Boggs (Ken Osmond), who joins to get a date with Billie Jo. The hold the night class on the Cannonball. When Harold shows up and sees “Genghis Keane,” he tells Billie Jo that she is the reason he dropped out of school. Fred shows up and brings along his wife Ruth (Barbara Pepper), who follows him because she thinks he is out with another woman. With all of the new students, Miss Keane decides to leave the Shady Rest and move into a hotel in town near the library. 10/16/20

SEASON 2

• 039. Betty Jo’s Dog – 9/22/1964
  • Summer is over and it’s the first day of school for the girls. Billie Jo and Betty Jo are none too anxious to wake up, but Bobbie Jo is raring to go. That afternoon when school lets out, several dogs are waiting outside the school for the kids to take them home. One dog (Higgins) follows Betty Jo to the Cannonball and when it leaves without him, it follows the train as fast as it can run. They finally stop the train and bring him back to the Shady Rest, where Kate insists that Betty Jo return it to the school since the dog is wearing a collar and can do tricks, so must belong to someone. She takes it back on the next run, but the dog sneaks back on the train. Kate says the dog can spend the night in the kitchen that night since it is getting late, but places an ad in the paper to find its owner. The dog begins getting in trouble when it trips Kate in the kitchen, throws dirt on the laundry, and gets Betty Jo’s dress dirty. Kate finds it amusing however when the dog interrupts Billie Jo’s date with Henry Brewster (Garrison True). However when the dog chases a skunk into regular guest Mr. Pierson’s (Douglas Evans) room, Kate decides the dog needs to go. A local farmer boy named Willie (Jay Ripley) answers the ad and comes to identify the dog, but says it is not his dog. Everyone – including Kate – is relieved. Willie admits to Charley and Floyd that it was in fact one of his dogs, but at their urging kept it quiet. He says it had only been on their farm for a couple of weeks and hadn’t gotten along with the other dogs… and also had a bad habit of chasing skunks. Kate finally agrees the dog can stay, but everyone lays down the rules that he will have to follow. Jack Easton Jr. is one of the high school boys. 2/4/21
• 040. Race Against the Stork – 9/29/1964
  • Henry Barton (Robert Easton) is going out of town for a few days, so he drops his wife Elsie (Olive Sturgess), whose baby is due in two weeks, at the Shady Rest, where Kate plans to care for her. Uncle Joe is afraid that she will deliver the baby while she is there, so he calls a meeting with the Floyd, Charlie, Sam Drucker, Ben Miller (Tom Fadden), Newt Kiley (Kay E. Kuter), Fred Ziffel, and Doctor Barton Stuart (Fred Ferguson), who will deliver the baby to go over a plan on how to get the doctor there the fastest way possible. He plans to fire his shotgun which Ben will hear, and then Ben will fire his gun, which Fred will hear, who will then fire his gun which Newt will hear, and then Newt will fire his shotgun, which Sam will hear. He is then instructed to get Charlie and Floyd, who will then start the Cannonball and grab the Doc. Joe is so proud of his idea that he starts talking about opening the Shady Rest as a maternity home. In order to prove the feasibility of the plan, he fires off his gun during the night, and sets the chain reaction in motion. With only a couple of delays, Doc indeed arrives at the Shady Rest, only to angrily find out that it has been a test run. When Ben has to go out of town, he tells Joe that he’ll have to rely on his Grandpappy Miller (Walter Baldwin), to fire the gun. The only problem is that he doesn’t hear so good, so they agree to use a light to rouse him, one that will be in the form of a fire started by Uncle Joe. He once again goes through the dry run, which irritates everyone once again. The next night Elsie does indeed go into labor, but nearly everything goes wrong: Joe doesn’t wake up, but when he is woken up by the girls, he can’t get the fire started because the logs are wet from being doused the night before during the test run. Betty Jo takes the handcar to Grandpappy’s and winds up firing the gun herself. By the time the Doc arrives, Kate and Billie Jo have delivered the baby boy. Joe faints, followed by an exhausted Billie Jo. NOTE: Ruth Ziffel is renamed Doris beginning in this episode. 2/6/21
• 041. Have Library, Will Travel – 10/6/1964
  • Uncle Joe has a complete lack of interest in helping build bookshelves for the traveling library that will reside in the baggage area of the Cannonball… until he meets the librarian Phyllis Marsh (Dianne Foster). He is immediately smitten by her and takes out a library card, telling her that he is 31, dying his hair with shoe polish, and inviting her to go fishing. Phyllis is too kind to turn him down, even though she has a fiancé named Hal Jackson (Robert Harland). After having a strawberry soda with her at Drucker’s, he even starts to inch his way toward talking about proposing. Phyllis and Hal come to Kate to get ideas how to let him down gently, and she get the idea to pretend that Hal is pursuing Kate. When she begins ‘dating’ him, Joe thinks it is the most ridiculous thing ever. He cancels a date with Phyllis so that he can spy on Hal and Kate when they go out together. Joe interrupts the date and half-heartedly threatens to fight Hal. Instead, he ‘introduces’ Hal to Phyllis, sacrificing his own happiness in order to straighten Kate out. Jimmy Gaines and Ricky Allen are the boys in the library. 6/1/21
• 042. The Umquaw Strip – 10/13/1964
  • Uncle Joe gets the idea that tourists might like to see a reenactment of the historic signing of a treaty between an Umquaw Chief and Delbert , president of the C & F.W. Railorad that enabled the spur line between Hooterville and Pixley to go through their land. Meanwhile, Mr. Curtis assigns Homer Bedloe to rent out the Shady Rest for a stockholders meeting, knowing that after they enjoy Cate’s lunch before the meeting, they will never vote to closed down the Cannonball. Bedloe knows when he’s beat, but when he hears about Joe’s idea from the treaty, he has his assistant Martin Evans (William O’Connell) look into the treaty… and learns that it was never actually signed by the Umquaw. Bedloe sees this as an opportunity to close down the Cannonball, so he contacts Chief Fleeteagle (Benny Rubin) and his son Black Salmon (Bernie Kopell) and has them set up a teepee on the railroad line. His thinking is that if the stockholders can’t get through on the Cannonball and have to walk to the meeting, that they’ll be so angry they’ll vote to shut down the Cannonball. When the Umquaw won’t let the Cannoball through, Uncle Joe and Sam Drucker retaliate by holding men by gunpoint to stay on their property, making them unable to go into town for food. Cate doesn’t like this tactic, so she brings them food. Black Salmon tells her that they have to cooperate with Bedloe or he will not grant their permit to open their franchise sell souvenirs at the station. Remembering an old movie called The Revenge of the Redskins that both Cate and Chief Fleeteagle had seen, she has an attorney contact Bedloe to tell him that if caught, anyone coercing the Indians to doing his dirty work. For good measure, Cate blackmails him into staying for the weekend to do the dishes form the stockholders meeting. Barney Elmore is a stockholder. 6/1/21
• 043. As Hooterville Goes – 10/27/1964
  • For the last twenty years, Hooterville has consistently gotten their election results tallied and submitted to the Governor’s Office the very first in the state. They’ve accomplished this by waking everyone up just before midnight and brought them to Drucker’s Store to vote, then fed them all with a pot luck prepared by the ladies in town. It’s a joint effort taken off by nearly everyone in town, although Joe does very little other than take credit for everyone’s work. When a letter comes in from the Governor’s office addressed to the Chamber of Commerce, Sam won’t let Uncle Joe open it because there is no Chamber of Commerce in town. Uncle Joe is so curious to read it, that he, Floyd and Charley form a Chamber of Commerce. The letter states that the Governor is submitting a bill through the State Legislature to commend Hooterville for always being first to get their returns in. This year, this proposes a challenge because the nearby Crabwell Corners has bought a voting machine, and aims to steal the title. In fact, Tad Winslow (Frank Killmond) is sent over by his father to check out the town, so that he might come and visit the town barbershop to put bets on who will be first this year. They also face another obstacle from Kate’s arch nemesis Selma Plout (Virginia Sale) who threatens to not vote until the following afternoon because the Ladies’ Club, has voted to reject the doughnuts that she normally contributes to the meal, because they are rock hard and give everyone indigestion. Kate salvages Selma’s feelings by having the new Chamber of Commerce present her with  ‘Voter of the Year’ scroll recognition. On the night of the election, they go though all of the motions, but while Charley and Floyd are arguing about the candidates on the train, they become unbuckles from the coach. Still, they are able to get all of the votes in well before 1am. But once Kate goes to tally the votes, she realizes that they are one vote short. What’s more, it is Uncle Charlie who forgot to vote. Kate gets hold of him over in Crabwell Corners, who have been held up because their voting machine is broken. Joe walks all the way home by 6am, so he can cast his vote. Kate asks him why he bothered, since by then it was 6am, and he tells Kate that they won’t gather all of their votes until the next afternoon, because they had to send away for apart which won’t show up until the next day. In fact, Uncle Joe shows her the part, as he happened to have one in his pocket. Kate is angry and pleased with him at the same time. 9/27/21
• 044. My Dog, the Actor – 11/10/1964
  • Kate and Betty Jo are shopping at Drucker’s when Betty Jo discovers that there is an offer on the cans of Trail Wagon dog food to submit their dog’s photo to the Tailwagon Dog Food Company to see if the dog qualifies for a $500 prize and an offer to be a star of their dog food commercials. Kate doesn’t want to spend the fifteen cents on the dog food cans, so Sam offers to sell them the label for a nickel. Uncle Joe also thinks it is preposterous that their dog would ever qualify. The girls all excitedly photograph the dog, then Billie Jo takes the negatives to the drug store where Henry Brewster develops them. Henry is more interested in an older photo of Billie Jo that is in the batch, and thus accidentally swaps their dog’s photo with the one of his own Collie that he is submitting. The head of the company’s advertising office, Mr. Talbot (Ross Elliott) selects the collie, but then contacts the Bradley girls since the pictures are swapped in the envelopes. Uncle Joe changes his tune, and claims he wanted them to submit their dog to the contest, but told them not to bother in order to use reverse psychology. Uncle Joe takes over managing and training the dog to win the contest. Talbot and his cameraman Artie Johnson (Art Lewis) come to the Shady Rest to photograph the dog, but when he realizes that he has the wrong dog, he backs out of the deal. However, after sleeping on it, he starts to envision another type of commercial, and shoots some test footage of the Bradleys behaving like a normal family feeding their dog. Joe is in the way, constantly trying to give advice to everyone. Talbot sends him over to Drucker’s to pick up some dog food so he can shoot some test footage. Uncle Joe also tries to coach the family on acting, and consequently they all over act. Finally, they get the dog, the food, and the camera all in one room… but they the dog won’t eat. Kate says she won’t shoot the commercial because the dog food is obviously terrible. Uncle Joe tries to save the day by proposing a different idea, that the dog food is good enough for humans… which he demonstrates by eating it himself. They all must resign themselves to the fact that their days in show business are over. 9/28/21
• 045. The Great Buffalo Hunt – 11/17/1964
  • Uncle Joe goes out to get the groceries and comes back on the Cannonball with a live buffalo named Bill. His new money making idea is to advertise the Shady Rest as a hunting lodge, after reading about a visiting British hunter named Lord Harold Faversham (Reginald Gardiner) who is coming to America to shoot a buffalo. Upon his arrival, the girls greet him dressed as Indians so that he gets the full experience. The buffalo escapes and runs away, so Uncle Joe has to put him off by telling him that if you can’t shoot a buffalo by 9am, the day is shot. Then when Faversham gets up first thing in the morning, Joe says that the wind is blowing the wrong way to hunt buffalo. As Joe frantically tries to find Bill, he overhears the girls talking and saying that they hid Bill because they’ve become too attached to him to see him shot. Joe demands that they reveal the hiding place lest he be sued by Faversham. Kate then gets the idea to load the gun with blanks and take Faversham on the Cannonball. The girls then take Bill from stop to stop so that Faversham can ‘shoot’ him, and the girls can instruct the bull to lay down and play dead.  On the sixth and final stop, the ‘Buffalo dog’ gets off the train and chases after the buffalo, and Faversham not only sees the buffalo running away, but sees the girls running away. Faversham agrees to forgive all if they allow him to take the buffalo back to England to put it in a zoo. The girls are still heartbroken that he’s leaving, but before they get the buffalo onto the train, it runs away again. NOTE: The shows used a bull in a costume to simulate the buffalo. 3/25/22
• 046. Betty Jo’s Pen Pal – 11/24/1964
  • Betty Jo has been corresponding with a pen pal from Japan named Nobuko Takamura (Aki Hara), and she is now coming for a visit to the Shady Rest before she begins college in America, so the girls are all polishing up on their Japanese language. When she arrives, they find that she can speak English competently. Nobuko is able to identify everyone in the family based on Betty Jo’s letters, although she thinks Higgins the dog is Uncle Joe. She comes bearing gifts, including a transistor radio for Uncle Joe that he can’t stop listening to. She has some minor difficulties getting used to the American customs such as using a fork, or following Uncle Joe’s lead and eating peas off of a knife. She also can’t get used to sleeping in a bed vs. sleeping on the floor. When Uncle Joe is sent out to rake up the backyard, but when Nobuko sees him laboring, she takes over the work so he can listen to his new radio… but Kate puts a stop to it immediately. When Henry Brewster shows up to pick up Billie Jo for a date, she keeps him waiting as usual, and while doing so, Nobuko waits on him hand and foot and barely remembers his date with Billie Jo. He also asks Betty Jo if they can take Billie Jo on a picnic. Bobbie Jo and her date Roy Redwell (Jim Brewer) come along. Both the men are smitten by the way Nobuko takes care of them, which irritates both Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo. Betty Jo tells her sisters that maybe if they waited on them more, they’d pay more attention to them. Kate later explains to Nobuko that men in America have been taught more recently to take care of themselves. She tells her that men feel most like men when they wait on a ‘helpless’ woman. Nobuko tests this out by asking Uncle Joe to carry the laundry basket to the house. When she calls him a big, strong man, he is happy to help. She also bats her eyelashes to Joe, so that he will get her a glass of water, and again, he complies. Henry and Roy come back over to get waited on by Nobuko, but Kate and the girls have told her to instead insist that they wait on her. Before they know it, they are waiting on all of the girls in the house. Kate on the other hand, voluntarily waits on Uncle Joe in the Japanese style, although he doesn’t even realize it. 3/26/22
• 047. Bedloe’s Nightmare – 12/1/1964
  • Homer Bedloe hates the Cannonball train so much that he is having nightmares that he is strapped to the front of it while Kate is driving it and is heading toward a wreck. His psychiatrist Dr. Leonard (Irwin Charone) advises him that the only way to get over it, since Homer will be fired if he tries to do anything to stop it, is to fall in love with the train. Meanwhile back in Hooterville, Floyd has invented a system where he can ring a cow bell if he wants Charley to stop the train prematurely. He shows off how it works after throwing Uncle Joe’s hat out the window of the train, causing Charley to slam on the brakes. It turns out that this was very fortuitous because there was a broken piece of track up ahead. Kate writes a letter to Mr. Curtis to see if he will fund laying new track for the Cannonball so there aren’t any accidents. It turns out that Mr. Curtis is having an operation in the hospital, so Homer Bedloe is doing his job for the duration. Because of his newfound ‘love’ for the Cannonball, he sends a letter via his assistant Martin Evans to Kate to tell her that he’s going to have the track worked on. Homer then shows up later, and although Uncle Joe is suspicious of him, Kate and the girls are extra nice to him. They pamper him by shining his shoes, giving him breakfast in bed, and pressing his suit. Homer thinks they must be conning him, so he suddenly turns against the train again and hires folks to come and pull up the track without replacing it. Kate asks him if the Cannonball can make a final run, and invites Homer witness the occasion. Since she has been privy to his bad dreams through Martin, she recreates his nightmare by tying him to the front of the train, and then driving it while cackling like a witch all of the way. Homer promises to have the track fixed if they will et him go free. Since Mr. Curtis returns to put a stop to Bedloe’s antics, it is unclear whether he would have double-crossed them or not, but as it turns out, he is forced to help repair the track himself. 7/25/22
• 048. Kate’s Bachelor Butter – 12/8/1964
  • A businessman with H-D-L Food Products Inc. named Jack Crandall (Stanley Adams) is heading into Pixley on the Cannonball for a meeting, when he is delayed nearly all day when Floyd and Charley stop the Cannonball to pick some apples, take them to Kate to have them tested, and then head in reverse back to Hooterville. They had had Kate test the apples to see if they were ready to go into Kate’s annual Fall batch of Bachelor Butter that she makes every year for the bachelors in her life who do favors for her throughout the year. Crandall is forced to stay overnight at the Shady Rest, while the men who brought jars all wait for her to finish the special rituals and declare the new batch complete. This year is a rousing success, and Mr. Crandall gets a taste as well and understands the hype. In fact, he brings it back to his company and shares it with his associates Mr. Stevens (Ray Montgomery) and Mr. Kimberly (John Alvin). They make Kate an offer of $500 to share her recipe and they bring her to the company kitchen to try and reproduce it. As they try to write down the formula, they find that all of her measurements are very imprecise. The heat of the oven depends on the dog’s reaction to it. The amount of sugar used depends on the degree of pucker she gets from the apples. In the end, the batch doesn’t compare to the one they had all tasted. They make another attempt by bringing Kate’s stove, the dog, her cookery, and even the men waiting outside in rocking chairs for the finished product. Still once they are finished, it isn’t as good. Kate determines that the missing ingredient is the real anticipation and love put into it during each year’s cooking ritual. Even though they consider it a failed attempt, Mr. Crandall insists that Kate keep the money in exchange for the ingredients to the stove polish she makes to keep her old stove in such terrific shape. 7/25/22
• 049. Mother of the Bride – 12/15/1964
  • During a late night 9:25pm run of the Cannonball, Floyd is monitoring the couples with their arms around each other. One pair of young couples is Billie Jo and Dan Plout (Mike Minor), and although they won’t admit it, it appears that the two may be engaged. Meanwhile, back at the Shady Rest Kate is hosting her over-other-week Ladies Discussion Group. Kate’s archrival Selma Plout, who happens to be Dan’s mother, tries to give a book review but is cut short by Kate as the meeting ends when the Cannonball arrives to pick up the girls. This leads to an argument, with Selma telling Kate that it is time for someone else to take over as the Chairwoman. After the meeting, Kate and Betty Jo start talking about Betty Jo’s relationship with Dan. Kate admits that Dan is a nice boy, and even though she doesn’t along with her mother, she is open to Billie Jo’s relationship with Dan. Uncle Joe insists that are the signs are there that Billie Jo is in love, and that they’ll probably get married soon. Since all of the evidence starts to point that way, Kate decides to try and be friendly with Selma, but Selma seems to try and make it impossible when they run into each other at Drucker’s. As the rumors spread, Uncle Charlie starts acting like he knows they’re getting married, even though Kate doesn’t believe it. When Floyd brings Billie Jo a note from Dan, Billie Jo rushes off into town but won’t tell anyone why. Billie Jo and Selma tells Billie Jo that they can’t take a chance on waiting and wants the wedding moved up since Mr. Drucker seems to know about the wedding plans. Billie Jo agrees to meet him at 5am the next morning. She gets up and sneaks off with Betty Jo with her. The next morning, Kate wakes up and realizes that Billie Jo and Betty Jo have left, and she assume that Billie Jo has eloped. Kate sends Uncle Joe to find Selma Plout. Sam calls Will Quigley in Pixley, the only other Justice of the Peace in the area to see if he’s performed in any marriages. He admits that he has married a man named Will Plout that morning, causing Kate to break down crying all the way home. Eventually Billie Jo and Dan return from the wedding… along with Emily Lawrence (Diane Bond), Dan’s actual wife. Billie Jo has just been helping them plot the wedding because Dan and Emily’s wife are old rivals too. Phil Gordon is Harvey, beau of Minnie. Mary Carroll is Maggie Gordon, member of the ladies’ club. 11/18/22
• 050. The Lost Patrol – 12/29/1964
  • As the girls swim in the water tank back at the Shady Rest, Kate visits Drunker’s Store, where Sam is trying put out a newspaper Extra to announce that the U.S. Army is in the area playing war games but keeps spilling the printing press plate letters. Kate wants to get back home immediately since they will be ‘fighting’ Blue Army vs. Green Army near the Shady Rest… where the girls are swimming. Since the Cannonball is marked as “Destroyed by Green Army,” Kate has to walk home. Three of the privates Tod Langwell (Rick Cooper), Hank Benton (Larry Merrill), and Stu Howard (Robert Beach) get lost near the Shady Rest, and wind up using their binoculars and find the girls sunbathing by the hotel. They show up at the hotel and hold the girls as prisoners of war, even though Kate surprise them with a rifle of their own. Since she is facing soldiers with greater fire power she has to join them as prisoners as well. Kate serves them all pie, and Uncle Joe dresses up in his World War 1 doughboy uniform. Kate still insists that they follow her rules and forces the guys and gals to remain visible in parlor. When Uncle Joe lets his guard down to show the guys his medals from the war, they all sneak out to spend time together. Kate, Joe and the dog go out and retrieve them all. General Patteson (Edward Platt) shows up at the Drucker’s store looking for the missing G.I.s. Since the road is now blown up, the General has to head to the Shady Rest riding his jeep on the train tracks. When he shows up, Kate lets the boys hide upstairs and they get into the girls’ clothes. The General wants to use the Shady Rest as his headquarters, and the Blue Army shoulders get the jump on the Green Army General. The privates dance with the girls in the parlor, while the General helps Kate do the dishes. Two Green army G.I.s, Jack Bevans (Jack Bannon) and another (Solomon Sturges aka Mon Sturges) show up and overtake the three Blue Army soldiers, but quickly set aside their weapons so they can be taken prisoner also. Soon there are enough there to have a wingding with dancing, doughnuts, and lemonade. More soldiers continue to show up, and soon Bevans is putting the word out to all branches of the military about the shady rest. More and more soldiers pile in, including some from the Air Force and a Navy submarine. As the General does more dishes, he decides that this has gone too far, but Kate tells him that if he tries to court martial the men, they’ll testify that he was doing K.P. in a lace apron. The day then comes for everyone to leave, and original three Privates say their goodbyes to the sisters, promising to write. Jan Crawford aka James M. Crawford is the third G.I. 11/20/22
• 051. Smoke Eaters – 1/5/1965
  • Uncle Joe is leading the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Dept. Volunteer Band through practice at the Shady Rest with Sam, Floyd, Charley, Ben, and Grandpappy Miller. Kate complains not only that they sound terrible and are driving out the customer, but that they don’t actually have a functioning fire department. Joe suggests that they do a benefit concert to make money to build the fire department. Kate find the notion ridiculous that anyone would pay to hear them, so Joe puts her in charge of the fundraising. Kate comes up with the idea of putting red cans around town for folks to donate money. The wind up with around $62, which isn’t enough to buy much of anything. Kate decides to send away for help from a guy named Henry Phillips (Parley Baer) from a company called Trojan Fire that specializes in fire department equipment. Uncle Joe is offended that she is asking for help from an outsider. He says he can build a fully functional fire department with the $62. She gives him shot, and he returns with a bunch of junk that substitute for equipment, including a safety jumping net which is actually a woodpile tarp, a searchlight with no bulb or batteries, an ax with no handle, and a ladder missing one side. When a load of fireworks arrives, Kate starts to really question Joe’s judgement. He tells her that this their alarm system with a plan on how Newt Kiley will set off a rocket when calling for the fire department. Kate decides to send for Mr. Phillips again and he comes to the town. Joe tries to scare him off by have him help with their demonstrations, starting with dangling him out of a window, and as the guys are gathering the woodpile tarp and the broken ladder, he is bounced ad nauseum. Kate nurses him with chicken soup and tries to talk him out of suing the guys. In exchange for sending him monthly shipments of chicken soup, he equips the town with some new equipment. Uncle Joe arranges an exercise fire response by having Newt send up a firework and have the department respond to a mock fire. However, Newt accidentally fires the rocket into the fire station which ignites all of the fireworks and burns down the station. The men take off on the Cannonball to respond to the fire. The next morning, Kate and the girls realize the men have been out all night and no one has returned. They all come back on a handcar and report that the Cannonball ran off the track since Floyd left the air brake valve on his tuba after borrowing it from the Cannonball. Donald Douglas is the customer, Mr. Wilson. 4/28/23
• 052. The Curse of Chester W. Farnsworth – 1/12/1965
  • On a stormy night, Kate has everyone working to safeguard the Shady Rest and capture the rain coming in through the leaky roof. Uncle Joe tries to tell one of the guests Mr. Richardson (Hal Smith) that it is a real ‘Chester W. Farnsworth’ (Doodles Weaver) kind of night. Kate tries to stop him, but he moves forward, and the girls gather around to hear it once again. He tells of old Chester Farnsworth, who was staying in Room 4, the same room as Mr. Richardson, and stole one of the Shady Rest’s towels to add to his collection. According to Joe, after he left, he was never seen again. Now his ghost travels the country returning lost towels in order to get passage into heaven. Mr. Richardson then goes to bed, and the next morning as he is preparing to leave, he is also compelled to steal his Shady Rest towel. Before he can get out, Higgins opens Richardson’s suitcase and exposes the towel. Richardson claims he had no control over taking it, and Uncle Joe points the blame to Chester Farnsworth, the last of the great towel snatchers. Richardson leaves the Shady Rest and begins to tell the story of Chester Farnsworth all over town, causing a group of salesmen to cancel their reservations at the Shady Rest. An annoyed Kate tells Uncle Joe to find Chester Farnsworth’s name in the old register during the time he supposedly stayed there, and everyone is surprised to find his name actually there. With the upcoming anniversary of Farnsworth’s visit to the Shady Rest, strange things continue to happen around the hotel with the keys to room four falling out of their slot and an unexplained gargling sound coming from the bathroom.  Kate goes to see Dr. Barton Stuart for an explanation, and he recommends Dr. Melman (Alex Gerry), who investigates the paranormal. Melman tells a similar story of a ghost who once disappeared from an estate after retrieving a book of poems that he has written. Kate infers that if Farnsworth were to return the stolen towel that he’d finally be gone forever. The two doctors spend the night in the lobby of the hotel, and that night they hear noises and creaking upstairs and head up to room 4, and there they find an old towel, the type that they had used years ago. Kate gives Dr. Melman the towel as a memento and asks them to spread the word that the ghost is now gone. Melman then admits that he planted an infrared camera in the room and captured a photo of Kate hanging the towel. He then tears up the photo and promises to keep her secret safe so that the customers will return. Kate and the girls then head up to room 4 to clean it out, and they find another old-fashioned towel hanging on the rack. Downstairs, the key to room 4 mysteriously returns itself to its slot. 4/30/23
• 053. There’s No Flame Like an Old Flame – 1/19/1965
  • All of the ladies of the Shady Rest start to get curious when Uncle Joe starts getting perfume-soaked letters in the mail and sends back just as many. Eventually, Kate threatens to withhold stamps from him unless he tells her who the lady is. He finally confesses that he has been communicating with Mary Alice Schwigheimer (Lurene Tuttle), his former sweetheart who left him at the altar to run off with his Best Man George Perkins. Now that George has passed away, she is interested in Joe again, and he has proposed again. She accepts again and plans on coming to Shady Rest so they can be married. Kate is initially incensed at the notion, but when Joe says that if he can forgive Mary Alice, then Kate can as well. By the time Mary Alice arrives, Kate is just as nice as can to her, and she promises not to interfere with the way the family functions or the hotel business. However, on her first morning there, she rearranges the front desk and elevator in the lobby. She tries to make other adjustments too, like the type of flour that they use, and how Betty Jo dresses for a party, all the while delivering subtle insults to Kate. As the wedding approaches, Mary Alice’s attorney and the former friend of her late husband, Boo Boo Webster (George Cisar) shows up at the Shady Rest to give her away. Kate rehearses playing the organ, and Sam comes over to help decorate and perform the ceremony. Floyd and Charlie act as Joe’s two Best Men. On the morning of the wedding, everyone has a good cry, as the Best Men help a petrified Uncle Joe to stand up for the service. Once Here Comes the Bride starts playing, no one shows up by the dog, who has a handwritten message for Joe stating that she has run off with Boo Boo. Kate says she’s glad it happened because she’s not sure how they’d have gotten along with Kate. He tells her that he and Mary Alice had planned to come back and move in after the honeymoon. They continue with the wedding celebration, with Joe just happy that he didn’t have to go through with one. 9/10/23
• 054. Billie Jo’s First Job – 1/26/1965
  • Billie Jo comes home and announces that she won a contest at the secretarial school, beating out three other students including Prunella Plout. These skills landed her a job acting as secretary for author Oliver Fenton (Ernest Truex). He has come to Hooterville after usually living in European cities like Paris, to capture small-town life in his next book. Later, when Kate gloats to Prunella’s mother Selma, she finds out that Fenton has written several ‘adult’ novels, and Selma has even gotten one, The Carpet Sweepers, banned from the local libraries. However, Selma has a copy of the book that she loans to Kate to read over. After reading it, and seeing Fenton’s attractive picture on the book jacket, she forbids Billie Jo from working for Fenton. This drives Billie Jo to bury her head in her bed and cry all night. Uncle Joe reminds Kate that she raised very respectable girls with good judgement, so the next morning Billie Jo is reporting for work as originally planned. She is surprised to find that Fenton is now thirty years older than he was on the book’s dust jacket photo. He is very gentlemanly and has been up all night recording the book on reel-to-reel tape for Billie Jo to transcribe. Back home, Joe reports that he walked by Fenton’s house and saw the shades drawn. He suddenly becomes worried about Billie Jo working for Fenton, while Kate suddenly trusts that everything will be okay. Throughout the day, Sam, Charlie, and Floyd all stop by to check up on Billie Jo. Day after day, Billie Jo continues working for him, constantly bringing home exaggerated stories to tell the family. For instance, when Fenton asks her to work on the book, and then mentions that he’s love it if she could transcribe for him in Paris, and that he always feeds his female characters champagne and caviar, Billie Jo repeats all of this to Kate and gives her the wrong impression. Kate locks Billie Jo in her room and goes over to Fenton’s herself. She is not only surprised by her age but comes to see what a rather timid man he really is. Whereas he had a ham sandwich and soda pop waiting for Billie Jo, he actually has Kate try some caviar, and the two chat late into the night about her life as a widow raising three girls and running the hotel. Later, Kate receives a copy of Fenton’s latest book Woman with a Hotel, which is clearly based on the tales that Kate told him that night. Kate uses this to teach the girls a lesson to never trust a man with a tape recorder, then throws the book into the fire. 9/10/23
• 055. A Matter of Communication – 2/2/1965
  • Billie Jo and her sisters complain because they feel cut off from the world without a telephone, but Kate balks at putting one in because of the tremendous cost of running a phone line to the main line two miles away. Currently, the girls are getting all of their communication by having their calls go to Drucker’s store, where Sam gives the message to Charlie and Floyd, they board the Cannonball to the Shady Rest to delivery it, and then deliver the response back to Sam to relay back to the caller. After this goes on so long that it causes him to knock over his display of canned tomatoes one too many times, Sam decides he is through taking their calls. When Uncle Joe hears this, he comes up with his own plan of starting his own telephone company, the Carson Inter-Valley Telephone Company. The next time he hosts poker night, when his friends arrive for the game, he tells them that it has been cancelled, but claims he couldn’t let them know since none of them have phones. He proposes that they all buy a phone from him, and then they will connect to each and the telephone company by running the phone cables to the railroad tracks, then connecting to the farmhouse via their barbed-wire fences, then back to the track, and on to the phone company. All of the guys seem game to give this a try, but Sam insists that it is illegal to tap into the phone company’s lines. Once they get it all set up, Kate makes the first call to Sam as a test run. Each man has to answer the phone when he gets the call, then connect to the next man in the line, and finally hold the two phone receivers together so that the conversation can reach its destination. Once they determine that it will work, the Bradley girls each start making phone calls to town. Ben, Fred, and Newt dutifully connect the girls to the listener, but find they are constantly being interrupted from their work and then have to stand an hold the two receivers together. The girls pick up much interference in the way the noise made by the men, farm animals, and other goings-on at the farms. Eventually, all of the men tell Uncle Joe that they are out as the phones are too much of a distraction. The girls lament that they are once again cut off from the outside world, but Joe tells them that Kate found a way to have a bustling social life when she was a girl. They decide to try and employ the same method that she used to use: sending the messages by telegraph. 1/8/24
• 056. Kate Bradley, Girl Volunteer – 2/9/1965
  • Uncle Joe tries to make some upgrades to his Hooterville Fire Department by taking the cannon from the courthouse to use to help wake up the volunteers if there ever is a fire. His plan is to have the person who is on ‘sky watch’ take the cannon to their house to use if needed. One night, with no one else available, he is on watch, which he spends in the lobby of the Shady Rest playing checkers with Higgins. Over at Drucker’s, he is playing cards with Charley and Floyd when they discover that the tinder that they are carrying on the Cannonball is on fire. Since Joe has the water pump with him at the Shady Rest, Sam calls for assistance from the Crabwell Corners volunteer fire department. Before they arrive, lead by their chief Bink Sharfells (Richard M. Wessel), Floyd fires off the rocket to let Joe know about the fire. When Joe sees it, he in turn sets of the cannon, the reverberation of which shatters the windshield of Crabwell Corners’ fire truck. The fire department gets the Cannonball fire out before Joe and Kate arrive with the pump on the handcar. Bink presents the men with a bill for their services, plus an extra $18 charge for the broken windshield. Joe challenges them to a fireman’s contest to go double or nothing on the windshield. When the other guys later tell him that they aren’t going to participate, Kate and the girls feel bad that Joe plans to sell his Indian to play off the bet and the windshield, so they decide to step in and be volunteers. The departments go through a series of events that are judged by the Crabwell Corners Justice of the Peace Ernie Caufield (Jim Hayward). Although the Hooterville team doesn’t have the ability or equipment for ladder climbing or building jumping, they wind up winning the distance contest with their water hose. In the end, both teams tie, leaving Joe still owing for the windshield. He wants to settle it all or nothing, so he proposes a checkers game to see who wins. Although Bink is a checkers champion in Crabwell Corners, he winds up losing the game to Higgins. 1/8/24
• 057. Hooterville Crime Wave – 2/16/1965
  • After a dramatic prison break, two convicts, Barney Dawson (Marc Lawrence) and Max James (Paul “Mousie” Garner) manage to escape and make their way toward Hooterville. Meanwhile, Sam is annoyed and Uncle Joe for sending a letter to the Postmaster General and complaining about the way he runs the post office, since he has failed to hang the wanted signs so that Uncle Joe, as a proud member of the C.I.A. – Criminal Investigators Alliance – can catch them and get the rewards. A state police officer named Detective Horton (Bert Freed) stops in to let them know about the two escaped criminals. Uncle Joe refuses to assist since there is no reward for them. Kate is nervous about going back to the Shady Rest for fear that they’ve broken into the house, but Uncle Joe agrees to go back with her. When they get back, they find that the dog is missing, and Uncle Joe barricades the windows with furniture. Charley and Floyd regularly stop by when the Cannonball goes by to check on them. Out in the valley, the two criminals have found the dog and want it to lead them back to its home so that they can get something to eat. Everyone at the Shady Rest is on high alert, but Kate then remembers that Joe has put a key to the hotel under the doormat outside. When Bobbie Jo goes to get it, Barney and Max follow the dog in with guns. They make Kate feed them dinner and tell them that they are going to stay with them as long as the police are out searching the woods. Kate tries a couple of tricks, including sneakily taking the cake knife, but Joe keeps inadvertently giving her away. Charley and Floyd come to the door and the criminals tell Kate to invite them in. However, when they come inside, it is actually Sam and Detective Horton wearing their engineer uniforms. Horton quickly pulls a gun on the criminals, and when they drop their guns, Joe and Sam go down to pick them up and wind up smashing their heads against each other. The criminals try to hide behind the girls, but Kate takes the C.I.A. sign that Joe hung in the lobby and smashes them both over the head. Sam reveals that they came when the dog jumped out of the window at the Shady Rest, made its way to Drucker’s place and barked until they followed him. Uncle Joe takes credit for having trained him as a C.I.A. operative. 5/9/24
• 058. For the Birds – 2/23/1965
  • While Joe is trying to teach the dog Higgins to be a bird dog pointer, Kate reminds him that she wanted him to take the handcar into Hooterville to see why the Cannonball hasn’t been running all day. Meanwhile, Floyd and Charley are looking after a nest of five bird eggs that are situated inside the smokestack of the Cannonball. They go to get Dr. Barton Stuart to have him come back and check the eggs and to promise to be there to look after the babies once they’ve hatched if there is any medical emergency. Floyd and Charley tell Kate and Joe when they arrive on the scene that they are not going to operate the handcar until the eggs have hatched. Elsewhere, Homer Bedloe is in a great mood as he shares a newspaper article with his assistant Martin Evans that he helped get published about the Cannonball not operating until the eggs are hatched. He is happy about it because he says the State Railroad Commission will take away the train’s franchise if the train does not operate a route between Hooterville and Pixley at least once every two weeks. He thinks that this is finally the opportunity to get them shut down. When Kate, Uncle Joe, and the girls see the article, they are skeptical that Mr. Bedloe is being so kind to the birds, and fears that he is trying to get the railroad line shut down again. When Bedloe shows up at the Shady Rest and wants a room, Kate and Joe are cold toward him, and tell him that they know he’s up to no good. He admits that he doesn’t care about the bird but likes the publicity that the story will generate of the railroad company with a heart. However, Billie Jo and Betty Jo overhear him telling his plan to Mr. Williams (Warren Parker) with the Railroad Commission. They tell the others, and Floyd and Charley have to decide if the train is as important to them as the birds. They decide to let the birds keep their home, and Kate comes up with an idea to bend the rules, which only state that an engine and coach have to make the round trip, she had the men pump a handcar pushing an old stagecoach on the trip. They do this just in the nick of the time before two weeks have passed. Bedloe insists that they had to have an engine as well, but Kate has them produce a wooden Indian – ie. an ‘injun’ – off of the coach. When Bedloe tries to protest, Kate tells him that she’ll tell the papers about his plan and ruin him. He takes her warning to heart, just as the first of the birds starts to hatch. 5/9/24
• 059. Modern Merchandising – 3/2/1965
  • Sam Drucker is in an uproar when a new giant supermarket in Pixley opens up and starts to wipe out his business. He is annoyed at Floyd and Charlie for taking folks there, but as they explain to Betty Jo, they have no choice if people want to go. She vows that no one in their family will shop at O’Donnel’s, but sure enough, Uncle Joe is already there, shmoozing for deals from Mr. O’Donnel (Willis Bouchey). He promises to throw all of the Shady Rest’s business there if he gives Uncle Joe leeway to sample the fruit to figure out what is best. Mr. O’Donnel even offers to take his list and gather the groceries for him, ticking off another customer named Mrs. Williams (Dee Carroll). However, when Uncle Joe tells him that he only needs coffee, O’Donnel gets irritated and sends him through the labyrinth of grocery aisles to get his own coffee. Uncle Joe comes home with sackfuls of frivolous items. Meanwhile, Kate pays a visit to Sam to try and give him as much business as possible, but she finds the store in shambles, with Sam himself confused, forgetful, and hearing the phone ring when it really isn’t. He can’t remember Kate’s name or her order, and he snaps at Betty Jo and Higgins. Kate goes to get Doc Stuart (Frank Ferguson), who recommends that Sam get away for a couple of weeks of fishing at Glover’s Lake. He agrees to go when Kate says that she’ll mind the store for him. After Sam leaves, she and the girls start to straighten up the shop, but Uncle Joe thinks they need to re-tool the whole place. He tells them how the coffee that he bought at O’Donnels was way in the back of the store, and to get there, he had to pass all different sorts of items, many of which he ended up buying. He wants to employ the same philosophy of modern merchandising in Sam’s store. Although it doesn’t work on Newt Kiley, soon they do indeed begin selling more than normal. When a wholesale grocer named Jack Hull (Jack Searl) comes in to take the next order, Uncle Joe accidentally orders multiple cases instead of units, yielding in a train full of 2000 cases of groceries showing up, causing Kate to become livid with Uncle Joe. At Glover’s, Sam has become rested and grounded again and decides to return a week early, but on his way out, he passes Kate in the lobby of the Fisherman’s Motel as she is coming in. She cannot remember Sam’s name and is hearing the phone ring when it really isn’t. As soon as she tells him about what Uncle Joe, he starts hearing a non-existent phone ringing as well. Gail Bonney is Mrs. Robinson, desk clerk at the motel. 9/26/24
• 060. Visit from the Governor – 3/9/1965
  • As Floyd and Charlie ride along in the Cannonball delivering the Hooterville World Guardian, they read an article about the Governor planning a grass roots tour of the state. The word has also reached Uncle Joe, who thinks that he should send an invitation for the Governor to come to Hooterville. He visits Sam to run it by the members of the Chamber of Commerce, two of whom are engaged in a hot and heavy game of checkers, but none of them have any interest, and Sam kicks him out when Uncle Joe purposely messes up their checkerboard. He then rushes home to tell Kate that he is going to invite the Governor, but she says that since the Chamber didn’t ask him to, she won’t let him do it. The whole incident reminds her of the time he thought that the President of the United States was going to stop in Hooterville for coffee, and he got stuck with a huge load of ‘Hail to the Chief’ pennants that he couldn’t sell. Joe then interrupts Kate’s ladies club as Selma Plout is giving her book report and drops hints about the Governor coming to town. They all immediately get excited and tell Joe that they want him to write a letter on their behalf. In fact, they vote him into the club when Kate brings up the fact that he doesn’t represent them. However, when Selma hears that Joe wants to host the Governor at the Shady Rest, she gets angry and says she wants him to stay at her place. Joe writes the letter, and then starts preparing for his arrival. When they get a date and time that he is going to be coming into the area, they arrange a reception at the Shady Rest. While Kate makes the pies, the girls all practice being official baton twirlers. They go through a dry run of the Governor’s arrival by having the band rehearse There’ll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight. Kate rehearses her presentation of flowers to the Governor by giving a feather duster to Sam during the mock ceremony. Joe tries to unload his pennants to the bystanders. When it comes time for the train to arrive, Joe changes the brass band to a record and has them simulate playing the music. Finally, the train arrives, and Fred Ziffel steps off, saying that he’s sorry he missed the rehearsal, but he was nursing Arnold’s snout after Charley hit him with a newspaper while delivering the paper. Charley and Floyd say that they met the Governor at the Hooterville train station but that he had gone to Crabwell Corners and wasn’t planning a stop in Hooterville, due to not having received an invitation. Kate recalls that Uncle Charley had forgotten to put a stamp on the letter when he invited the President for coffee and asks him if he forgot the stamp again. He said that he wouldn’t make that mistake twice, and then pulls the letter out of his pocket to show her that the stamp was indeed on the letter. Florence Lake is Emily Simpson with the ladies club. 9/26/24

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