The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"Don't touch me, I'm sterile." - Ed Norton, "The Honeymooners"

eighth11.jpgOn May 20, 1986, as I stood there dressed to the nines in my white sportjacket and yellow slacks in preparation of attending the Ankeney Junior High School Banquet of Excellence, my Mom remarked to me that at that very moment, she was noticing how much weight I had lost. My transformation was complete. I had blossomed from the awkward fat kid into a gangly teenager. That evening I accepted my award certificate for achieving one of the top ten scores in the school on the Language Art Olympiad – an event of which I have no recollection. Eighth grade was about to come to an end and I was heading into the Summer with a new lease on life.

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The prestigious award

As I wrapped up the school year, I had dozens and dozens of kids sign my yearbook, always hoping for those little, flirtatious comments to be left by the fair junior high vixens. In order to give myself the illusion of immense popularity, I had an unprecedented number of kids sign the book all the way through, not just on the front and back pages. In the interest of space, I’ve only included those ‘white page’ signatures. Although it’s a pretty cool time capsule of many of my junior high friends, there are many who didn’t include their last name and consequently I now have no idea who they are.

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 Reed Eggleston and Ashleigh Heath make reference to Trash. Greg Meyer says Jeff and I will become the next Penn & Teller. Ron Park hated us.

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 Kyer Phillips and I would become good friends in college.

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The notorious Jeff Flinn makes his mark. Steve Smith was my Fairbrook friend. Dawn’s Mom is now my boss.  

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 More references to Senor Kosak, Penn & Teller, and an inscription from the legendary Mr. Dukes.

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 A nice inscription from my kindergarten friend Sunil Doshi. Doug Elliot was our vice-principal. He’d probably lose his job for that in this nauseating age of political correctness.

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Chris Demeter added the simple inscription “KISS rules”

My report card was rather crummy even after dropping Honors English midway through the year for the easier Scholarship English class – coming in with three C averages. It’s a shame that I didn’t apply myself in that class, especially considering that writing now seems to be my forte – not to mention the prize I won that year in the Language Arts Olympiad. In all, I missed 15 and a half days of school. Playing sick no doubt.

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Two of my periods were split amongst three classes each. I have already mentioned my Crafts and Home Economics classes that I had when I began the eighth grade year followed by Read On and Computers in the second quarter. I finished out the year with Physical Education taught by Ms. Peele and Music taught by Ms. Turner were added to my line-up. Nothing particularly exciting ever happend in either class. Phys Ed obviously was held in the gym, where we would also hold our monthly sock hops. I did well with a 4.0 probably because I had slimmed down. I nearly won the ping pong tournament but I think I ended up losing to my old friend Steve Smith.

Music was just down the hall in the same room where the band and choir would practice. I remember getting the opportunity to bring in a song to share with the class and I chose “Keep Me Comin'” by KISS – quite a bizarre and obscure selection, I must say – but hey, I was collecting KISS tapes at the time. David Kadis was in that class as well and once teased me that I had never had a girlfriend. It wasn’t completely true – only almost.

I was as ecstatic as ever that Summer was coming. I had huge plans and my studies were the furthest thing from my mind by the end of the school year. 

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Crockett and Tubbs

1986 will continue

2 Responses to “Eighth Grade Ends”

  1. You’d post that report card where Ashleigh can see it?

    eric

  2. Funny that I now play softball with your Phys Ed teacher, Ms. Peele. She told me that she remembered Denise, but never mentioned you. I guess she probably didn’t know that you were my son, because I doubt that she would forget you!

    Barb/Mom

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