The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by Jay Sommers

This series was based on the short-lived radio program “Granby’s Green Acres” which aired in 1950. In addition, the series was created to be a sister series that existed in the same universe as the series “Petticoat Junction”

Theme song composed by Vic Mizzy, sung by Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor

• 001. Oliver Buys a Farm – 9/15/1965
  • Narrator John Daly (himself) tells the story of Oliver Wendell Douglas (Eddie Albert) who as a young boy (Jackie Jones) is encouraged by his father (Eddie Albert) to become a prominent lawyer, despite that fact that young Oliver’s aspirations lie with farming. He eventually does become a successful lawyer living on Park Avenue in New York City, but still longs for the farm life. He tries to convince his wife Lisa (Eva Gabor) to move, but she in turn suggests that he try growing some crops on the apartment terrace. Oliver eventually finds some cheap farmland in the town of Hooterville, where he visits and meets the operate of the General Store Sam Drucker (Frank Cady), the manager of the Shady Rest Hotel “Uncle Joe” Carson (Edgar Buchanan), pig farmer Fred Ziffel (Hank Patterson), and the conductor of the Hooterville Cannonball Floyd Smoot (Rufe Davis). He ends up purchasing the old Haney Farm, much to the surprise of everyone in town. Lisa is inconsolable when she finds out and enlists Oliver’s mother Eunice (Eleanor Audley) to talk him out of it. Eventually Lisa agrees to give the farm a try for six months. When they pull up to the ramshackle dwelling, he tells her that he’s named the farm “Green Acres.” Willis Buchey is Oliver’s former boss Mr. Felton. 8/17/15

• 002. Lisa’s First Day on the Farm – 9/22/1965
  • Back in Manhattan, realtor Mr. Peters (Chet Stratton) is arranging the subletting of the Douglas apartment with Mr. and Mrs. Horace Bennett (Lyle Talbot, Iris Adrian), stipulating that they have to take care of his terrace garden if they live there. Back in Hooterville, the previous farmhouse owner Mr. Haney (Pat Buttram) and his farmhand Eb Dawson (Tom Lester) are moving out the appliances so that they can sell them back to Oliver when he becomes desperate. Oliver shows Lisa the house as it falls apart around him, claiming that he will fix everything. They discover that there is no electricity and no hot water. At Drucker’s General Store, Joe, Floyd, and Hooterville Cannonball conductor Charley Pratt (Smiley Burnette) enter a pool to see how long it will take the Douglas’s to move out. Out of desperation, Oliver does in fact buy back his appliances and reluctantly hires Eb to be his farmhand. Amidst the chaos, Lisa decides to go back to New York, but when Kate Bradley (Bea Benederet), the owner of the Shady Rest Hotel, tells her that she once gave up a career in show business in the big city to follow her husband, Lisa changes her mind and re-joins Oliver on the farm. Uncle Joe later reminds her that she was merely a move theater ticket taker in the neighboring town of Pixley. 8/18/15
• 003. The Decorator – 9/29/1965
  • Oliver rents some furniture from Mr. Haney until his arrives, while Kate teaches Lisa the fundamentals of cooking pancakes and making coffee. Although Oliver wants to get his farm going, Lisa insists that he works on getting the house decorated. Sam recommends a decorator named Roland Wilson (Bob Jellison) from Pixley, and also sells Oliver the “Honeymoon Special” home startup kit. Meanwhile Oliver keeps having tinges of impending doom as his mother makes her way toward Hooterville. When she shows up, she attempts to bring Lisa back home… but when Mr. Wilson shows up, Lisa agrees to stay. Wilson however turns out to be a cake decorator. Lisa forgives him and they get a cake in the shape of what he plans to make the farmhouse look like. Lori Saunders appears as Bobbie Jo Bradley. 9/7/15
• 004. The Best Laid Plans – 10/6/1965
  • Oliver sends Lisa back to New York for a week to pick up their furniture, but then has to contend with the people in town who think that she has left him. Oliver wants to get to work on plowing, planning, and cultivating. Eb suggest that he work with the County Agent to figure out what to do with the farm, but Oliver wants to have a basic idea. He visits his neighbor Ben Miller (Guy Wilkerson), who only suggests that he spread lime to the soil… and also recommends that Oliver consult the County Agent. Oliver tries to repair the tractor that Mr. Haney left him but it keeps falling apart. Mr. Haney tries repeatedly to sell Oliver a cow named Eleanor that he insists is homesick. Meanwhile back in New York, Oliver’s mother-in-law tries to convince her to stay in New York. Since Lisa has been given carte blanche to do what she wants with the house, she consults architect Roland Weatherby (Gavin Gordon) and they plan to build a Country Club… which ultimately gets printed in the Hooterville World Guardian newspaper. Oliver lays down the law that she can only fix up the existing house, and then mistakes her for being pregnant when she mentions that there will be three of them living there. It turns out that she has purchased Eleanor for him since Mr. Haney told her that Oliver had his heart set on her. Mignon is Lisa’s dog. 9/7/15
• 005. My Husband, the Rooster Renter – 10/13/1965
  • When Mr. Haney shows up bright and early to collect rent on their cots, Oliver is also talked into renting a rooster named Bertram to wake them up bright and early to work on the farm. They soon find that Bertram simply doesn’t crow. Meanwhile the county agent Hank Kimball (Alvy Moore) finally shows up to offer farming advice and to have their soil analyzed… but refuses to tell Oliver his opinion of the farm. Oliver and Lisa travel to Hooterville to use Drucker’s phone to call the phone company, plumber Ed Ferguson (Sid Melton), and roof repairmen Jack Parker (John Harmon) to make the farm more functional. Ed traces the pipes all over the house, but can’t get the water going without electric for the pump. Carl Flint (Phil Gordon) delivers the phone but can’t get it working until they get a line run in three months. Mr. Haney rents Oliver a generator so that he can have running water, and also rents them a hen named Alice which will make Bertram crow. Unfortunately, he only crows in the middle of the night. 12/6/15
• 006. Furniture, Furniture, Who’s Got the Furniture? – 10/20/1965
  • Oliver’s Hoyt-Clagwell tractor falls apart as he tries to pull out a stump. Mr. Haney comes along and tries to sell the Douglases wallpaper. Oliver heads to Drucker’s to inquire about wallpaper and find a person who can fix his tractor, finding no luck with either. Oliver finds out that his mother has sent their furniture from New York and it is due to arrive that day. Meanwhile Oliver’s mother arrives on the Hooterville Cannonball, but waits in vain at the railroad station. When she tries to get hold of Oliver, she is connected to the ‘new Haney place.’ Mr. Haney receives the Douglas’ furniture by mistake but accepts the delivery. He willingly turns it over to Oliver, but charges him a delivery and storage fee. Oliver’s mother gets a ride on a handcar with Uncle Joe Carson and then makes her way across Newt Kiley’s bull pasture and gets stuck up a tree. Oliver loads their house with the furniture which is way too much for the small house. Peter Leeds is a moving man. 12/7/15
• 007. Neighborliness – 10/27/1965
  • As Oliver struggles to repair his crooked porch railing and Lisa shows her mother-in-law how she prepares breakfast, Hank Kimball stops by and reports that the Agricultural school still hasn’t analyzed his soil, but advises Oliver that he should begin plowing his land if he wants it ready to seed during planting season. Mr. Haney naturally shows up to sell Oliver a plow but it breaks before he can even get started using it. Oliver visits Drucker’s and runs into Joe Carson, who tries to get Oliver to buy him a hunting rifle. When Oliver tells him about his plowing concerns, Joe says he has an idea how to get free labor for him. The next day Fred Ziffel, Newt Kiley (Kay E. Kuter), Ben Miller (now played by Tom Fadden), and others show up with their tractors and plows with a flyer that Joe had produced advertising a plowing contest at his farm with free lunch provided. The entry fee of one dollar has gone to Joe. The men plow the field, and although Lisa intends to make the free lunch, she turns the duties over to Doris Ziffel (Barbara Pepper) and Emily Miller (Gail Bonney), who are arguing with each other who can make the best chicken, in the guise of having a contest between the two of them. Oliver’s field gets plowed, everyone gets fed, and the Millers leave with the Douglas’s couch, the first prize. 2/6/16
• 008. Lisa the Helpmate – 11/3/1965
  • Despite not having the the soil results from the state agricultural college, Oliver starts planting seeds in his soil, perfecting his own method of ‘finger planting.’ Kimball stops by and reports that the jars of soil samples he submitted were broken, so Oliver gathers another batch of samples to take to the college. Meanwhile Joe Carson begins to court Oliver’s mother and when he visits the farm, he accidentally spills the soil. Oliver’s mother gets the idea to mix some of her beauty products with the soil in order to convince them to leave the farm. Oliver takes the soil to the college and personally submits it to Mr. Webster (Parley Baer), who gets it analyzed right away… only to find the traces of the bizarre substances. Oliver is heartbroken and ready to leave the farm and head back to New York. He then learns that the substances found in the soil correspond directly to his mother’s shopping list. Lisa tries to change Oliver’s mind about leaving by putting carrots that she rented from Mr. Haney in the spot where he planted seeds that morning. Oliver decides to stay, and punishes his mother by making her go on several dates with Joe. Jack Bannon plays a student, and Terry Phillips is the other student Duke. 2/7/16
• 009. You Can’t Plug in a 2 with a 6 – 11/10/1965
  • Before Oliver can hear the financial report on the wheat commodities market, Lisa blows out the generator. Oliver tries to explain the that they can only pull a total of seven electric load units from combined appliances. Meanwhile at Drucker’s, Fred and Ben argue about whether to plant corn or soy. Fred thinks it is corn because his wife Doris’s lumbago is acting up, while Fred thinks that soy should be planted because his wife Emily is cranky. Oliver tries to make the case that the Department of Agriculture recommends wheat, but then after buying the seed learns from Hank Kimball that the price of wheat is down. Oliver decides to go with corn after all, but then when Lisa visits Doris, she finds out that Doris was faking her lumbago because she wanted to stay in bed. Oliver returns his corn, and goes with half wheat because Doris has tripped over Arnold and has bumps on her head, and half soy because Emily is even crankier. Mr. Haney then tells Oliver that wheat and soy are down, while corn is up. When he returns to Drucker’s, he finds out that Fred and Ben are going with potatoes because the Secretary of Agriculture has a cold. Lisa finally gets the hang of the electricity, but still washes the toaster in the dishwasher. 5/6/16
• 010. Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You – 11/17/1965
  • Oliver’s former boss from New York, Judson Carter Felton (Roland Winters) wants to get Oliver back to work on the case on which he had done preliminary work before leaving for his farm. Initially he only gets through to Drucker’s General Store, and Mr. Haney is sent to fetch Oliver. Frustrated with the party line, Felton heads out to visit Oliver in person. Meanwhile Hank reveals that his mother Sarah owns the telephone company but he is not speaking to her since he had run away from home a week earlier. When Hank returns to his mother to ask to help get Oliver a phone, Sarah is so appreciative that she has a telephone pole installed by Ed Ferguson (now played by Jerry Hausner) right outside Oliver’s bedroom window. Unfortunately he has to climb to the top of it to use the phone. Upon Felton’s arrival, Oliver refuses to return to New York but offers to give Felton his paperwork on the case. Felton is aghast at Oliver’s living conditions, and when he is called to the phone by his associate Mr. Wilson (William Neff), he falls from the pole and threatens to sue Oliver. Later Oliver tells Lisa that he is glad he has given up that stressful life and feels much more relaxed… until the phone rings at the top of the pole late at night. Barbara Drew is Felton’s secretary Miss Brumley. 5/6/16
• 011. Parity Begins at Home – 11/24/1965
  • Chairman George Jenkins (Jesse White) and his assistant Wally Wilkins (Sam Edwards) with the Conservation and Stabilization Committee receive a visit from Ben Miller and Newt Kiley who are seeking their answer to a petition to increase their allotment of wheat that can be sold. Their increase comes from the Haney farm since he didn’t put in for an allotment. When they tell Jenkins that Oliver Douglas now owns the farm, Jenkins and Wilkins pay Oliver a visit to tell him that he can only harvest wheat on 8 acres versus the 160 acres that Oliver intends to farm, under threat of financial sanction on any wheat over that amount that Oliver might sell. Oliver thinks it is an outrage, and arranges a Wheat Penalty protest meeting at Drucker’s store. Although he has difficulty explaining it, he gets all of the farmers to sign the petition and sends it off to the Department of Agriculture in Washington D.C. It is received by a Mr. Bennington (Howard Wendell) who takes it up with the Chairman of the Conservation and Stabilization Committee. Just as Mr. Haney shows up in military regalia to hold off the ‘siege’, Jenkins and Wilkins pay Oliver another visit to tell him that unbeknownst to them since they are way behind in opening their mail that wheat penalties had been abolished two years earlier. Meanwhile Lisa tries to learn to use the washer, but accidentally puts in the pillow with the pillow case and the dishes with tablecloth. Walter Baldwin is Grandpappy Miller. 8/8/16
• 012. Lisa Has a Calf – 12/8/1965
  • During a rain storm which sees multiple leeks in the farmhouse, Eb visits and notifies Oliver and Lisa that Eleanor the cow is pregnant. He also cautions Oliver not to tell Mr. Haney, as he is afraid Haney will lay claim to the calf since she was pregnant at the time that he sold it to Oliver. To distract Haney from the cow, Oliver buys an old baby cradle, leading Haney to believe that it is Lisa who is expecting. Haney passes the information on to Sam Drucker and Joe Carson, and Joe tells Oliver’s mother when she phones. He also tells Kate Bradley, who comes to try and assist Lisa, never finding out that it is not Lisa who is pregnant. She rushes off to be with Lisa and brings Dr. Fillmore (Stanley Farrar). She is surprised by all of the work that Lisa is doing as she attempts to care for Eleanor by feeding her hotcakes. Eventually she finds out that it is not Lisa who is expecting, but the cow. Mr. Haney promises he wants no claim to the new calf… but that Oliver can pay him fifty cents a day for its rental. 8/8/16
• 013. The Wedding Anniversary – 12/15/1965
  • Oliver remembers that it is he and Lisa’s wedding anniversary but can not recall how many years they’ve been married. Lisa recounts to Eb about the prior year’s anniversary in Manhattan which they both landed in jail, when Oliver won’t leave the apartment for a big dinner party because he find out that the corn on his terrace is riddled with corn borers. He calls the Secretary of Agriculture but only gets the Secretary’s secretary’s secretary George Bennington (Dave Willock), who laughs him off. He also tries to get his family doctor Dr. Faber (Vinton Hayworth) to look at the corn, but he leaves in a rage when he realizes that it is not Oliver who is sick. When Oliver’s mother comes over enraged that they are not at the party, she begins pushing Oliver’s plants off the terrace thus getting them arrested. In the current day, Mr. Haney brings them a rubber plant gift, but sells them the pot. Oliver makes plans with Kate and Uncle Joe to have a romantic dinner with Lisa at the Shady Rest. However when the time comes to head out, Eb shows him that the wheat has been infested with saw flies. Oliver calls Bennington and demands to speak to the Secretary of Agriculture. Bennington considers it a threat and has Oliver arrested. While in jail, Lisa reveals that they’ve been married for ten years now. Harold Ayer is the sheriff. 10/17/16
• 014. What Happened in Scranton? – 12/22/1965
  • Lisa shows off how she has trained the hen Alice to lay eggs on cue, Oliver finally learns to milk Eleanor, and Hank shows up to give Oliver advice on how to fertilize his wheat. Lisa has Oliver take her into town so she can go to the beauty parlor, but is aghast to find out that Hooterville doesn’t have one. She takes it to her Every-Other-Wednesday-Afternoon-Discussion Club, and with the support of Doris Ziffel and Cora Watson (Elvia Allman), Lisa is put in charge of getting one opened in town. Lisa calls Mother, who sends Claude (James Millhollin) from the Ritz Plaza to Hooterville, blackmailing him with information she has about what happened in Scranton. Initially he is only willing to do Lisa’s hair, but when Mr. Haney reminds him of ‘Scranton,’ he agrees to open a beauty parlor. The only place available to open it is on the Cannonball, so all of the women in town get their hair done. Soon the husbands are in an uproar because the ladies are no longer tending to their husbands needs, instead focusing on their new hairdos, and they blame Oliver. Lisa speaks to all of them about courting their wives properly, and they finally agree. Lisa also expects the same treatment from Oliver and tries to use ‘Scranton’ to get him to take her out for a fancy dinner. Kay St. Germain Wells is Sadie Prentiss. Guy Wilkerson is now playing Lud Watson. Dan White is a townsman. 10/18/16
• 015. How to Enlarge a Bedroom – 12/29/1965
  • Lisa is after Oliver to get their bedroom enlarged, while Eb is on his case to borrow the car to take out his date Ophelia. Oliver contacts brothers Alf (Sid Melton) and Ralph Monroe (Mary Grace Canfield), Ralph actually being Alf’s sister, to give him an estimate. Suspicious of their ability, Oliver consults Fred Ziffel to see how well they did on his house when they fixed his front door… taking two months and accidentally knocking down his porch. When he returns, he finds that the Monroe brothers have expanded the wall of the bedroom, leaving the expansion without side walls or a roof. Since they have gone after lumber, Oliver visits Sam Drunker to get a building permit. Mr. Haney’s cousin Buford Wilkins (Pat Buttram), who is identical to Mr. Haney, is the building inspector, and also happens to be Ophelia’s father. He won’t approve the expansion until Oliver lends Eb the car. He initially then approves the room, but then takes it back when he finds out that it’s not a chicken coop since the Monroes are only licensed to fix chicken coops and front doors. A telephone man (Norman Leavitt) has also moved the telephone pole, which would have been in the middle of the room, as requested… but he has moved it to Ben Miller’s farm. The Douglases are forced to take their tractor to go to dinner. 1/19/17
• 016. Give Me Land, Lots of Land – 1/5/1966
  • The Douglases’ neighbor Lud Watson offers to sell Oliver his farm, which would increase his land to 300 acres. Mr. Kimball tells Oliver that the Watson land is very fertile and Lisa encourages Oliver to buy the farm, thinking that the Watsons’ home is part of the deal…which it is not. When the Watsons leave to go traveling to Pixley for a movie, and Oliver heads to New York to transfer his money to buy the farm, Lisa hires Mr. Haney to help move their furniture into what she thinks is their new house. She also sells all of the Watsons’ furniture to Mr. Haney for $200, and he moves it into their old house and plans to occupy it. When Oliver returns, he tells her the bad news, and they are forced to buy back the furniture from Haney, who tries to make a huge profit until Oliver threatens to involve the sheriff. That night after moving back in, the telephone company returns their telephone pole… right back into the middle of their room. 1/19/17
• 017. I Didn’t Raise My Husband to Be a Fireman – 1/19/1966
  • Oliver’s morning consists of Ralph and Alf showing up at 5:30 in the morning to work on the bedroom, Lisa frying his oatmeal, and witnessing a distress rocket shot in the air from the Kiley farm. Mr. Haney and other townsfolk react to the rocket by sending in the volunteer fire department, but Mr. Haney won’t let Oliver ride on the truck since he isn’t an official volunteer fireman. When Oliver and Lisa head into town to buy coffee, Lisa mentions to Sam Drucker that Oliver would like to enlist, but Joe Carson, the chief of the department trying to sell a story about Kiley’s false alarm, will only let him join if he can play an instrument. Oliver agrees to play the guitar and the fire department practices at the Shady Rest, while Kate teaches Lisa to cook. Oliver is placed on sky-watch and ends up with a crick in his neck, while Hank Kimball tries to help him cure. When he actually does spot a rocket, he tries to summon Mr. Haney but the phone lines are shut down after hours. He and Eb head toward the fire, only to find that it was Joe wanting to hold a band practice. Oliver is kicked off the squad because he failed to bring his guitar. 5/6/17
• 018. Lisa Bakes a Cake – 1/26/1966
  • As Lisa stumbles through trying to bake a cake, Oliver finds out that she has listed him in the new Hooterville phone book as a lawyer. Fearing that the town will stop thinking of him as a farmer and the legal advice calls will come pouring in, Oliver tries to get it removed from the phone book. Meanwhile Oliver doesn’t get any calls, but threatens legal action against Mr. Haney for selling him a tractor with a steering wheel that keeps falling off. Disappointed that no one is calling and that Mr. Kimball is getting more calls for legal advice than him. When the phone finally rings, he scrambles to get to it and speaks to a Mr. Harry Bleedswell (Hal Smith) from Pixley, who comes to visit Oliver… and asks him to take out an ad in the Pixley Pageant bulletin. During the visit, Lisa’s pound cake begins to smoke, causing Bleedswell’s hat to get burnt, his head to get hit, and his car to get smashed, leading to him bringing a lawsuit against Oliver. Lisa’s 20-pound pound cake contains various household items. 5/6/17 
• 019. Sprained Ankle, Country Style – 2/2/1966
  • The Monroe brothers finally finish the Douglas bedroom and move their bed from the barn back to their room. However after a fancy unveiling ceremony, Oliver finds that the job is incomplete in many ways: no wall in the closet, slanted cement floors with footprints, wall not plastered, and only a hole where the fireplace should go. He refuses to pay them until the job is finished correctly. Later Oliver works on putting up the TV antenna and falls through the roof and sprains his ankle. He visits Dr. Barton Stuart (Regis Toomey), who tells him he needs to stay in bed for several days. During his stay in bed, he is interrupted by Ralph and Alf, Mr. Kimball, and Doris Ziffel, all of whom get involved in watching Frankenstein Meets Mary Poppins on his TV. Oliver gets hungry watch TV host Curly Robins (Donald Curtis) advertise food from the Pixley Diner. As Oliver gets hungrier, Bobbie Jo Bradley shows up with a basket of chicken and Lisa makes soup, but everyone else eats the food while watching the movie. Oliver steals away to the barn to relax and chew on hay. 12/27/17
• 020. The Price of Apples – 2/9/1966
  • Oliver thinks his apples are ready for picking so he consults Mr. Kimball, who advises him that he can get $4 per bushel if he is the first farmer to market. While trying to ditch the hotcakes Lisa made, Oliver goes to Drucker’s to get some boxes and finds out from Fred and Newt that the farmers in Crabwell Corners have tied up all of the trucks at the Valley Trucking Company needed to get the apples to market. He makes a speech about being a go-getter and they offer to sell Oliver their apples for $1.75 a bushel. Oliver can’t find a truck to rent, and refuses Mr. Haney’s offer to use his trucking company. When he returns home, he finds that the teenagers that Eb has hired to pick apples are all dancing in the orchard. However they did bring a truck, so he and Lisa use that to transport the apples to the State Capitol. On the way they get a flat tire, and have to unload all the apples to get to the spare tire. Then they get pulled over by a motorcycle officer (Jack Bannon, voiced by Alvy Moore), who reports that they left the apples they had unloaded on the side of the road. All the while the price of apples that started at $4 continue to drop in price. The truck then blows its head gasket, so they have to hike to a Mike’s Food run by Gus (Vince Barnett), where Lisa shows him her way of making hotcakes… with the leftover parts resembling the needed head gasket. They are able to use it to get the truck running with it, and head off to sell the apples… at $1.75 a bushel. 12/27/17
• 021. What’s in a Name? – 12/16/1966
  • While Oliver is only interested in getting the Monroe’s to fix up their mess on his house, Ralph decides that she wants to marry Hank Kimball, who is visiting to discuss corn irrigation with Oliver. He is naturally averse to the idea, with his number one complaint being that her first name is Ralph. Lisa tries to play matchmaker and convinces Oliver to see Judge Murdock (Howard Smith) to petition for the name change. Murdock informs Oliver that his attorney license doesn’t carry over from New York, and tells him he will have to re-take the bar exam. With a newfound itch to practice law again, he petitions Carl Hinckley (Richard Hale) with the State Bar Association, and once he convinces him that Harvard is indeed an accredited school, he get approval to re-take the bar. As rumors quickly spread that Oliver had been disbarred, he  starts cramming for the exam. A week later he takes it and proudly passes it. However, Ralph has lost interest in Kimball and the name change, having met a man named Evelyn. 8/29/18
• 022. The Day of Decision – 2/23/1966
  • The day has arrived after six months for Lisa to make her decision about whether she will stay on the farm or return to New York, and everyone on the farm and in town is speculating what she will do. Oliver and Lisa recall scenes from earlier episodes detailing their arrival – and their many mishaps – as he tries to convince her that they will be happy on the farm. Joe and Sam speculate as well and recall their lack of confidence when he first arrived. Oliver visits Drucker’s and he and Joe advise him to buy her a gift, so he decides to finally get a shower curtain that he had promised when they first moved in and saw the bare bathroom. Mr. Haney tries to get him to buy a one-handed Grandfather’s clock to convince her to stay. Oliver refuses and recalls all of the junk that Haney had sold him since he bought the farm from him. Lisa finally tells him solemnly that although she hasn’t been unhappy all of the time, she believes they should move back to the city. As they are packing up, Hank shows up to say his goodbyes, and she Lisa sees how much he, Ralph and Alf, and Eb will miss them – in addition to the fact that the animals will all be eaten – Lisa agrees to stay another six months. 8/29/18
• 023. A Pig in a Poke – 3/9/1966
  • Oliver is the keynote speaker at a Harvard alumni dinner and he had brought Arnold with him to the banquet. He explains the events leading up to the dinner, which began as he was preparing for the speech back in Hooterville, Fred and Doris Ziffel seek his assistance because Mr. Haney has attached their pig Arnold, and Sheriff Blake (Emory Parnell) is trying to collect him. Haney claims that he sold them a rare sofa and they refused to pay, while Doris claims it fell apart when she sat on it. Oliver goes to see Mr. Haney, but he only tries to get more money out of Oliver when he accidentally breaks a chair that Haney claims belonged to Whistler’s mother. As the sheriff attempts to collect Arnold again, he turns up missing. It turns out that Lisa is harboring him, and he gets under the bedroom floorboards. When Eb and Hank Gimbell only succeed in removing Oliver’s pants while trying to get him out, Eb calls the fire department. They show up led by Mr. Haney, who sprays Oliver while he’s stuck. Lisa winds up smuggling Arnold to New York, and when Oliver tries to get Arnold out from under the bed, Oliver is accused of being drunk when he attempts to explain it over the phone… which is why he brings Arnold to the dinner to prove he  is sober. Arnold meets a female pig in the bar. who joins him at the bar. Terry Phillips is the Bellboy. Harry Stanton is Mr. Smead. 5/25/19 
• 024. The Deputy – 3/16/1966
  • Sam Drucker phones Lisa to tell the Douglases that he will be on vacation for two weeks, so Oliver heads to the General Store to stock up on canned good and a jug of nail polish. While there, he notes that Sam is looking for someone to replace him as Deputy Sheriff while he is gone, and both Fred and Newt decline the job, and Sam isn’t interested in giving it to Uncle Joe. While Oliver gives the men a speech about civic duty, Sam swears Oliver in for the job. On his way home he runs into Mr. Haney and takes delight in issuing him a ticket for driving without his license plate, but a state patrolman passes by who happens to be Haney’s nephew Heston Haney (Joe Conley), and not only lets his uncle go, but gives Oliver a ticket for still having a New York plate. When he gets home, he shows Lisa his new handcuffs and locks her to him, then realizes he can’t find the key. He returns to the scene of the ticket and can’t find it there, and then returns to the General Store but finds that Sam has already left. When they get back home, they both climb the telephone pole to call for help from the Sheriff, but Oliver is unable to call with one hand. Finally Eb suggests that they pick the lock with a hairpin, and although Oliver balks at the notion, Lisa is able to do just that and free herself. When Oliver asks how she did it, she handcuffs him to the table and tells him to try it, but he is unable to free himself. 2/10/20
• 025. Double Drick – 3/23/1966
  • Oliver is fed up with the generator continuously blowing, so he visits Sam Drucker to find out the status of the electric application he submitted seven months earlier, only to find that Sam forgot to send it in. Oliver decides to visit the County Power, Gas, & Water company himself and, after waiting through the number system when there aren’t any other customers in the office, he speaks to Mr. Powers (Jonathan Hole), who assures him it will be installed the next day. Larry Lawlor (Dave Willock) the installer visits first to install the meter for Peter Greeter the meter reader, but Oliver complains because the meter is running before the power lines had even been hooked up. Powers orders Lawlor to return the defective meter. Meanwhile Hank visits Lisa and tells her how much better thing will be with electricity and that Oliver can buy an electronic milking machine. At he same time Mr. Haney is attempting to sell Oliver a milking machine and a cream separator. Oliver refuses, but when he finds out from the line installer (Bill McLean) that the electric poles are going onto the strip of property that Mr. Haney still owns, Oliver is forced to buy both items plus a butter churn, and a permanent wave machine. The linesman installs a new electric pole by the house, but can’t hook the power up to the house because the meter is now gone. Oliver returns to Mr. Powers, who tells him that they’ve sent the meter out for repair and it will take six months to get it back from Japan. Oliver pleads that they hook the power up to the house, so Powers tells him he will do a favor for him: they hook up an outlet to the top of the pole, so Oliver has to climb up to it to plug something in. When he finally does, he takes out electricity for 80,000 miles. 2/10/20
• 026. The Ballad of Molly Turgiss – 4/6/1966
  • When Oliver overhears Eb singing some folks songs, Oliver begins discussing the folks songs that he used to write, and gets him interested in performing again. Eb mentions a local legend about Molly Turgiss, but every time a name is mentioned Molly’s ghost (Renie Riano) breaks or throws something. They visit Drucker’s to pick up dinner supplies and a guitar pick, but Sam won’t discuss Molly. Likewise when the Douglases have the Ziffels over for dinner and folk songs, they won’t tell the story either. Oliver becomes more and more curious, but suffers the wrath of Molly when she actually manifests herself as a goblin and steals Mr. Haney’s truck. Hank Kimball finally tells Oliver and Lisa that Molly was an exceptionally ugly woman who no one liked, who had left town and promised to return to haunt everyone who mentioned her name. Lisa feels bad for her, and summons her to her bedroom to apologize for her treatment, and explains that all she needs is some beauty products. Molly makes a deal that she’ll show her how to use them in exchange for her promising to longer throw things at people. Oliver sings his song The Ballad of Molly Turgiss. Molly returns in her new makeup to visit Lisa, who allows her one more tantrum: smashing Oliver’s guitar over his head. 5/25/19
• 027. Never Look a Gift Tractor in the Mouth – 4/27/1966
  • Oliver’s birthday is coming up and Lisa plans to throw him a surprise party. Since Oliver’s tractor is on the fritz and he and Eb can’t get it started, Lisa goes to Grumer’s Farm Equipment Co. and works with his assistant Mr. Johnson (Stuart Erwin) to get him a new tractor as a surprise gift. She ends up going with the very fancy Commander 6000, complete with air conditioner, stereo, and two-way radio. In order to not spoil the surprise she has it shipped to the Ziffels with a big bow and birthday wish on it. When Fred gets a look at it, he thinks it is for him, even though Doris insists that she didn’t buy it. He loves it and goes showing it off to everyone, including a very impressed Oliver. When Lisa finds out that he thinks it belongs to him, she goes to try and explain but can’t get a word in edgewise between his words of gratitude. Lisa tries to get legal advice from Oliver, but he has no idea what she is talking about. Doris suddenly goes to the realization that Lisa had given her husband such an extravagant gift that they must be having an affair, so she goes to see Oliver to discuss their ‘problem’. He finally puts it all together and realizes what has taken place. He too goes to explain to Fred what happened, but likewise he can’t get a word in edgewise either, so he winds up letting Fred keep the tractor. The only consolation is that Fred said that he can use it whenever he wants… and the though that Lisa putting in to getting such a great gift, even if he can’t have it. 5/20/20
• 028. Send a Boy to College – 5/4/1966
  • One morning while Lisa is discontinuing her hotcakes for breakfast in favor of Italian pancakes – aka pizza – Eb is thrilled to see that Alice the chicken has laid an egg after being sick all week. Apparently unbeknownst to Oliver, Eb has healed her, and he is asked by the Ziffels to do the same for Arnold the pig, who has the shim shams. Eb sends Fred to see Drucker to get some Sawyers Soothing Syrup and heals Arnold. Later when Mr. Drucker mentions to the Douglases that Eb should have been a veterinarian, Lisa gets the idea that they should send Eb to college, and she is willing to give up Oliver buying her a mink coat if he will consider it. Oliver agrees and breaks the news to an excited Eb, who also wants to be adopted by them. Oliver goes to see Mr. Kimball, who is making his breakfast beverages in test tubes and beakers in his office, to inquire about the best college to be a vet. After hem-hawing around and trying to figure out who Eb is, he recommends the County College. Mr. Haney catches wind and tries to sell Oliver a ‘college kit’ that includes a Stutz Bearcat, a racoon coat, a Ukulele Ike ukulele, a flask, and a stein. Oliver wants none of it, and kicks Haney off his property. Oliver sends Eb to get a new suit for class and sends him on his way. The Douglases both miss Eb halfway through his first day, but he returns having been kicked out after answering the first question on the college questionnaire, in which he had to answer that he never finished high school. 5/20/20
• 029. Horse? What Horse? – 5/11/1966
  • Oliver is having a rough morning when his repairs the hoses on the tractor and the radiator begins leaking. Then Bertram the rooster keeps unplugging the electric from the pole causing him to have to climb up it repeatedly as Lisa tris to make hotcakes. He also has to climb the phone pole to order a new radiator from Sam Drunker, then climb down and back up the electric pole when Bertram unplugs again… then falls off the pole. Everyone starts to think that the farm is getting Oliver down, so when he runs into a white spotted horse in the field that keeps disappearing whenever Lisa is around, she thinks he is suffering a breakdown. The horse will not follow him and and when Oliver ties him to a small tree, both the horse and tree disappear. Lisa sends for Doc Stuart (George Chandler) who can’t get over all of the original paintings in the farmhouse. When Oliver tells him about the horse, the doctor prescribes some sedatives. When Lisa drinks some of the milk that she’s dropped the sedative into, she conks out even before Oliver does. Before he falls asleep, he sees a zebra poke its head through the window. Meanwhile Mr. Haney meets with a man named Mr. Sanders (Jerry Hausner) whose circus wagon has overturned and caused him to lose some of his animals. One of them is an ostrich that Mr. Haney has found, and he delivers a bill to Sanders for the damage its done. Sanders offers more money to Haney if he will help him find his missing horse, zebra, camel, and chimpanzee. As Mr. Douglas spots the camel, Lisa tells Hank Kimball that Oliver is suffering from overwork, so Hank starts pretending that he can see the animals too in an effort to humor him. Hank spots an actual chimpanzee, but when it disappears, Oliver thinks he is mocking him. Finally they see Mr. Haney, who has gathered the animals together, and he cna finally show Lisa that he’s not crazy. When he goes inside, he is knocked out through the front door by a boxing kangaroo. 9/3/20
• 030. The Rains Came – 5/18/1966
  • Oliver and Lisa enter the courtroom where Mr. Haney is suing Oliver, using the lawyer Diller Fangworth (J. Pat O’Malley) while Oliver reprsents himself. Judge Clemens (Howard Smith) has Fangworth introduce the case, which involves Mr. Haney promising to deliver rain during an 86-day drought for the sum of $300. Oliver contends that it wasn’t Haney who made it rain, but rather Lisa. Eb testifies through flashback that he saw Lisa and Oliver watering and talking to a giant sunflower named Rudolph. This was a result of LIsa hearing an old wives’ tale that if you water a sunflower, it will grant you a wish. Next the Bailiff (Ray Kellogg) swears in Hank Kimball, and Farnsworth questions about him coming to see him to find out to induce rain, and to admit that there were no clouds in the sky to generate rain. Haney then testifies about speaking to Oliver on the 78th day of the drought, and telling him  that he has a rain making machine in the form of an Indian rainmaker named Chief Thundercloud (Robert Strauss). Oliver wants no part of it, but in order to get Haney off his back, he agrees to go double or nothing to his $150 asking price. If it rains, he’ll give him $300 and if not, he pays nothing. Thundercloud can’t make it rain, so Oliver throws them off the property, and Haney fires Thundercloud. He goes looking for work elsewhere and winds up back at the Douglas farm, where Lisa tells him to go find odd jobs on the farm. He begins washing Oliver’s car, which Oliver quickly puts a stop to in order to conserve the water. Just then it starts to pour down rain. Oliver contends in court that everyone knows that washing your car will make it rain, which is just as likely as Haney’s story. The judge agrees and dismisses the case. Back home Lisa continues to water Rudolph, maintaining that it was her wish to the sunflower that made it rain. 9/3/20
• 031. Culture – 5/25/1966
  • Lisa hosts the meeting of her Every-Other-Wednesday-Afternoon-Discussion-Club, which irritates Oliver because it is causing Eb to have to babysit the sons of some of the members including Emory Durkin (Buddy Foster), Horace Milford (Tony Fraser), and Arnold the pig. Ralph has also been taken away from her work, leaving Alf to watch TV instead of fixing the closet in the Douglas bedroom. The club comes up with the idea that they need a Hooterville symphony orchestra, which Oliver finds ridiculous. Lisa however remembers a conductor named Sir Geoffrey (Reginald Gardiner), whom she refers to as ‘Poopsie’, who she and Oliver met in Monte Carlo when he put the moves on her. Oliver discusses the fact that the town needs a small bandstand, and they image life during the late 1800’s. Sir Geoffrey agrees to accept the challenge and heads from New York to Hooterville. Oliver warns him that he is going to have a terrible time trying to convert the musicians from the volunteer fire department into an orchestra. Lisa talks Oliver into playing his guitar in the orchestra at their first rehearsal. Sir Geoffrey tries to get them to play Brahm’s Lullaby, but they keep playing nothing but There’s a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight. His frustration gets the best of him and he leaves town. Virginia Sale is Selma Plout. 12/21/20
• 032. Uncle Ollie – 6/1/1966
  • As Oliver is working on building a fireplace in their bedroom using Lisa’s pancake batter, he receives a letter from his sister Cynthia letting him know that her son Charles “Chuck” (Don Edmonds) is coming from Chicago for a visit. He arrives early one morning on his motorcycle, and quickly disappoints Oliverwho doesn’t care for his long hair and the fact that everyone thinks he’s a girl. Oliver has him bunk in the loft with Eb and his turtle Eloise and frog Henry. The next morning, he attempts to put him to work and dig a ditch with Eb, but he proves to be a bad influence on Eb and teaches him how to ignore his responsibilities, skp out on work, and spend the day in Hooterville looking for action… which never comes. When they return, Oliver is furious and gives them more work to do. Chuck surprise his Uncle Ollie by fixing his tractor, but when Oliver takes off on it, he winds up getting a ticket from an officer (Jack Perkins) who clocks him at 80mph. Judge Murdock (Marshall Bradford) fines him $25. Mr. Haney stops by the farm and tries to charge Oliver an additional $42.50 for driving through his fence and flock of geese. When Haney’s truck won’t start, Oliver offers Chuck’s services to fix it, but Chuck takes the motor from Oliver’s car. Oliver takes Chuck’s motorcycle to get the motor back, but the bike takes off and he is picked up for speeding again, this time doing 110mph. Mr. Haney is picked up as well for doing 95mph in his now-souped-up 1926  pickup truck. Oliver has to pay a $35 fine, and Haney tries to convince him to pay his $25 fine since it was his motor. Oliver returns to building his fireplace, when Chuck comes in and announces he is heading back home. Oliver can’t get him out the door too quickly, but then sees that Eb is now wearing the same long hair as Chuck. 12/21/20

SEASON 2

• 033. Wings Over Hooterville – 9/14/1966
  • While Lisa attempts to make cupcakes, Oliver is thrilled to see his corn growing. Although Eb thinks the ears are tiny, Oliver plans to enter it into the Hooterville Corn Festival Corn Judging Contest. He and Lisa head to Druckers, and as soon as he leaves, Eb sees the corn getting eaten by bugs right before his eyes. At Druckers, the men argue over who is going to be the Grand Marshall of the Veterans Parade. When Oliver arrives and tells the guys that he was in World War 2, the quickly recruit him for the 4F’s – the Former Fighters of Foreign Fracases. Oliver starts reminiscing about how he met Lisa during the war via flashback. As a flyer, his plane’s motor conks out so he radios for help from his Sergeant ‘Uncle Henry’  (John J. Fox), who advises him to jump. His parachute gets stuck in a tree, and on the ground he meets Sergeant Lisa and Janos (Oscar Beregi) with the Hungarian Underground. After threatening to shoot Oliver until he reveals that he’s an American, the two help stop two German tankers (Walter Alzmann, Eric Frost) who are after Oliver. Lisa flirts with Oliver and vows to marry him, and Oliver realizes how pretty she is. Back in the present, Eb brings a corn husk to Oliver to show him that they are being eaten by a mysterious insect. Mr. Kimball holds an emergency meeting with the farmers to discuss the ‘Bing Bug’ that is infesting the corn. After his slide show devolves into pics of himself as a baby and cheesecake, he advises the farmers to go home and burn their crops. However, the farmers talk Oliver into borrowing a plane from brothers Orson and Wilfred Right, and flying over and crop dusting the corn. When he and Lisa arrive at their office, he finds that Mr. Haney has taken over their business. Haney outfits his old biplane with cropdusting equipment, and Oliver gives it a test spin. The plane malfunctions and turns upside-down, Oliver falls out and floats down in a parachute, getting stuck in a tree again. This puts Lisa in mind of their meeting story. The plane crashes into Oliver’s cornfield and burns all of his corn, and the smoke drives out the Bing Bugs from the other farms. Oliver and Lisa smooch while remembering the old times. 4/15/21
• 034. Water, Water Everywhere – 9/21/1966
  • Mr. Haney employs Willie the Well-Witcher (Percy Helton) of Willie’s Water Witching Service to witch and dig him a new well, but the second Haney’s well is turned on, the Douglas home loses their water. Oliver goes in search of the pipes and pump under the house, and comes to the conclusion that his well is dry, but when he finds out that Mr. Haney’s water started when his did, he tries to find the legality of this. He finds out from Sam that he doesn’t have a leg to stand on thanks to the ‘High Handed Code of 1912.’ He hires Willie as well. Naturally when Oliver starts running water, the Ziffels lose their water and Arnold is forced to miss his bath. Fred borrows some water from Oliver and learns that he built a well, but knows he also doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Same goes for Sam when Fred ires Willie to dig his well. Oliver then calls a meeting of the town to discuss the dilemma, so that instead of constantly screwing over your neighbor, they might pool their resources and co-fund a reservoir. He has Hank Kimball survey to find the best place to put a reservoir, and it turns out to be Oliver’s farm, He refuses to do this, but then gets the idea to run a pipeline from Pixley’s reservoir, and after going through proper channels, he is able to get this accomplished. Unfortunately, when they turn it on, everyone in town loses their power. Sam then modifies the Code of 1912 to state that anyone that monkeys with the code will be liable to pay a fine and serve jail time. At Oliver’s suggestion, he names it the Stupid and Ridiculous Law of 1966. 4/15/21
• 035. I Didn’t Raise My Pig to Be a Soldier – 9/28/1966
  • The Ziffels are planning a second honeymoon at Niagara Falls, and they want the Douglases to watch Arnold the Pig while they are gone. Oliver agrees, but as soon as they leave, Oliver puts Arnold outside, even though the Ziffels brought along a crib, bathtub, and television for Arnold. He cries all night since he’s not used to being in a cold barn all night, keeping Oliver and Eb awake, The next morning, Ralph and Alf show up to work on the house, waking Oliver up. Eb brings along a letter from the government draft board indicating that Arnold has been drafted to the military. Two men from the county draft board, Mr. Grimes (Ray Teal) and Mr. Collins (Lester Dorr) show up at the Douglas house trying to track down Arnold, and they told Lisa that he needs to report for his physical the next morning. Oliver agrees to bring him down there, so they can see for themselves that he’s a pig, but the Sergeant (Tom D’Andrea) thinks the whole thing is a joke, and sends two men from the F.B.I. (John Stephenson, James Seay) think Oliver is trying to help the ‘real’ Arnold evade the draft, so they have Oliver thrown in jail. Lisa tries to call the Ziffels to come back home, and Fred jumps at the chance, while Doris thinks he ‘arranged’ for this to happen. Eventually Oliver makes his case for Arnold, and he is written up as a hero pig lawyer in the newspaper. He vows never to do any favors for anyone in town any more… until Ralph Monroe then gets a draft notice too. Oliver takes Ralph to the Sergeant to the draft board to get her out of it as well. NOTE: This is the first episodes where the Douglases notice the ‘names’ – actually the show’s credits – on the screen. 8/9/21
• 036. How to See South America by Bus – 10/5/1966
  • Oliver gets world from Mr. Drucker that a farmer named Collins wants to talk to him about a legal matter. The farmer is actually a woman named Amy Collins (Dianne Foster), and when Lisa meets her before Oliver, she starts to get jealous right away. Oliver finds that she is extremely knowledgeable about farming, and he hangs on her every word when she offers him advice. She is thinking about incorporating her farm since it so large and she has the option to add more land. He goes over to her place to look around the farm, and it when it gets late, he gets tempted to eat dinner there because she is having a roast, potatoes, and apple pie while Lisa is making hotcake hash. When he comes home, she is especially irritated when she notices that he left his vest at her house. Oliver tries to convince Lisa that he only wants to talk about farming, so she asks to have Amy over for dinner so they can all talk about it. Lisa goes to Mr. Kimball to get a crash course on farming, so during dinner she can throw out random facts. She ends up getting drunk on champagne and passes out. The next morning, she heads to Drucker’s to get some aspirin and she overhears Doris Ziffel and Sadie Prentiss talking about a man who slipped his wife a mickey during dinner and plans to run off with a woman to South America by bus… but it turns out to be the story going on in the soap opera Love Is Never a Stranger. Lisa confronts Oliver with this, and then goes in to pack his clothes. Doris stops by and asks Oliver if she can watch TV at his house to watch the soap opera, and suddenly Oliver realizes what is going on. He pretends to be leaving for South America by bus and tells her to pack his clothes, and then he turns on the TV, so she realizes that Doris was describing a soap opera. Oliver tells Lisa that he’d never dream of leaving her. They declare their love, but she gets irritated when he is missing his vest again. 8/9/21
• 037. The Ugly Duckling – 10/19/1966
  • Oliver wakes up one morning to the sounds of Mr. Haney trying to disconnect Oliver’s phone, claiming to be a member of Haney Collection Service and having orders from the Hooterville Phone Company. The bill has now run up to $928, but Oliver refuses to pay because the phone is still on top of the pole rather than connected in his house. He throws Haney off his property, and moves on to his next problem: the fact that Ralph and Alf have still not finished working on his bedroom. This time they can’t work because Ralph is too upset that she has been rebuffed by her crush Hank Kimball. Lisa volunteers to go to work to beautify her and insists that she must stay at the house for several days. Ralph moves into Oliver’s room, and he is forced to sleep in the barn loft with Eb. There he manages to hit his head and knock himself out, and then fall out of bed and out of the loft completely.  Oliver gets a visit from Roy Trendell (Robert Foulk) from the phone company, and Oliver is finally able to convey what the problem is. Realizing that he won’t get Ralph back to work until she gets a date with Mr. Kimball, Oliver goes to see him at his office and invites him to dinner at his house. Lisa does a good job of applying makeup to Ralph and making her attractive, but she says the only way to get him to propose is to get another man in the picture to make him jealous. When Tom Blackwell (Dave Willock) shows up from the phone company to install the phone in the house, Lisa invites him to dinner as well to try and make Hank jealous. Lisa introduces Blackwell as Ralph’s boyfriend, and Hank as Ralph’s fiancé. Both men flee when they think they are being cornered into a marriage proposal, causing Ralph to burst into tears again. Oliver then finds out that Blackwell had been there to install the phone, and tries to chase after him. Ralph resigns her fact that she might be a lady carpenter for life.  2/8/22
• 038. One of Our Assemblymen Is Missing – 10/26/1966
  • Oliver is more tolerant of the shenanigans of Eb and Lisa than normal, as they try to give Oliver a list for Drucker’s store to get Lisa a pink shower cap. Even the men hanging out at Drucker’s remark how there doesn’t seem to be a spark to him lately. However when he sees in the mail that he is getting a bill for a State Farm Unattached Duty tax, and that no one in town seems to know what it is, he starts to demand answers. All Mr. Kimball can tell him is that it has been around since 1938. He tries to get ahold of the tax department, but finds out from the phone operator (Mary Treen) that the this particular tax department is only open for one hour a year. She doesn’t know who the assemblyman is, and it appears none of the neighbors know either. In the last election for assemblyman in 1922, everyone showed up to vote on the wrong day, and they haven’t had an election since. Oliver then decides to go visit the Governor (Roy Roberts). Before he leaves, Mr. Haney tries to sell him State Capitol souvenirs. Oliver and Lisa check into a tiny hotel with a wall bed that takes up the entire room, and then the next morning Oliver visits with the Governor’s secretary (Jan Arvan) and is told he can’t see him without an appointment. Oliver hires stenographer Miss Hawkney (Paula Morgan) to take a letter for an appointment, but Lisa has her leave because she has an easier way: she calls Lady Bird Johnson and has her pull some strings so Oliver can quickly see the Governor of “the Kangaroo State”. Within seconds, the Governor calls and asks him to come in to his office. Oliver presents his case, and Governor agrees that the people of Hooterville are owed something from the state since they were taxed without representation. After making some offers, the Governor agrees to refund the peoples’ taxes for all of the years since they’ve had no assemblyman. Everyone in town cheers Oliver, until the city gets a bill to pay for all of the work that the state has done including road repair, a bridge, a water tank, and Hooterville High School… which will be about $600,000 per person. Oliver starts in with another rousing patriotic speech, but Lisa wanders who is playing the fife in the background. Raymond Kark is townsman Frank Finney. 2/8/22
• 039. The Good Old Days – 11/2/1966
  • Lisa is bored one night when the TV is on the fritz, so she goes to watch Oliver read the book Forty Years a Farmer by author and farmer Gus Thompson (Eddie Albert). He tells Lisa she might be interested because the book talks about what it takes to be a farmer’s wife. As he reads the book, the story comes to life with Oliver portraying Gus, who has come to America and has sent for his hometown sweetheart Gladys Shwabbakker from Europe. Many men including Gus’s friend Olaf Simpson (Peter Whitney) wait for their incoming sweethearts. Olaf meets his woman Greta (Lorraine Bendix) and the other men meet theirs, but the only woman left after everyone is gone is a lady named Etta Drekny (Eva Gabor), who is played by Lisa. She tells Gus that she is Gladys’ cousin who came in her place since Gladys just had another baby back home. Gus tells her that she can stay at his place, but she insists that they get married first. He finally agrees and they become man and wife. Gus introduces her to the land that he intends to inhabit, build, and farm. The two of them get to work and attempt to use an axe and saw to try and clear the land. A man named Prentiss the Peddler (Pat Buttram), who resembles Mr. Haney, comes selling his wares, trying to pass off an elephant tusk polisher and a pig’s knuckle brush. Gus wants to buy a pair of boots for Etta, but she insists on a new dress, so he uses his horse money to pay for it. Eventually they plow their land and build their house. Olaf has a corn husking party at his place, during which the men who find the red corn get to kiss the women of their choice. Gus has trouble finding one, so Lisa slips him one that she brought. He doesn’t want to be dishonest, but Olaf insists that Gus kiss Etta. This leads to a fight, and Olaf knocks him for a loop twice. As Etta is nursing him back to health, she tells him that he’s going to become a farmer. Eventually she gives birth to Gus Jr., followed by Herbert, Eunice, Clive and three more kids. The family builds a successful and lucrative farm, until the Kleine River overflows and takes the town with it. Gus Jr. (Tom Lester) and the other kids are now grown and decide to leave, but Etta decides to stay with Gus and rebuild. They have more kids: Gomer Mildred, Duncan, and another dozen. Finally in their retirement years, Etta decides to write a book advising women to become farm wives. Back in the current day, Lisa is unmoved by the story and says that farming isn’t for everyone. She prefers to read about a woman who comes across the sea for her sweetheart but keeps on going to Hollywood. Nevertheless, she has planted a multicolored corn husk in the bed. 6/15/22
• 040. Eb Discovers the Birds and the Bees – 11/9/1966
  • While shopping for sardines at Drucker’s store, Eb suddenly takes notice of Betty Jo Bradley (Linda Kaye Henning), who is also shopping there. He is so smitten that he knocks over two displays and forgets the sardines. This leaves Oliver hungry at home with only chili con carne and dog food to choose from, but Lisa is more interested in the fact that Ed seems to be in love. Eb looks to the Douglases for advice on how to ask out Betty Jo, so Oliver recalls how he met Lisa on a steamship named the SS Titantic – not the one you’re thinking of – and asks her if he can ask her out when they get back to New York. Lisa agrees, but tells him that the ship is actually heading to Europe. Eb goes over to the Shady Rest to asks Betty Jo for a date, but when things don’t go along the exact same path as Oliver’s story, he gets nervous and starts to leave. Before he goes, Betty Jo accepts the invitation, just before Eb trips over a bush. Eb then wakes up Mr. and Mrs. Douglas in the middle of the night to ask where he should take her. Lisa suggests that Eb ask Betty Jo where she’d to go. Oliver says that may not be a good idea, as the time that he let Lisa choose the Liechtenstein Luau, Oliver wound up spending a fortune on tips for the headwaiter (Maurice Marsac) to seat them in the empty restaurant, the cigarette girl (Joyce Nizzari), and the expensive champagne that the waiter would open a new bottle of every time they mentioned another glass. Eb does indeed asks Betty Jo where she’s like to go and she suggests the Bijou and out for hamburgers. Trying to follow the advice of Oliver, whom Eb suddenly considers his ‘father’, he suggests a different date: the football rally and a bicycle ride. Betty Jo finally gets frustrated and calls off the date. Eb considers it to be Oliver’s fault, so Lisa sends him over to talk to Betty Jo. Her sister Bobbie Jo overhears them and thinks Oliver is asking out Betty Jo himself. She tells their mother, and Oliver has to stay and explain himself. He still manages to get Eb his date back at the dance at the Pixley Elks Club, and even buys him roses to take to her. Lisa points out what a softy he really is. However, when Eb shows up back at home a half-hour later, still with flowers in hand, he tells the Douglases that Betty Jo wound up allergic to roses… and again blames Oliver for sabotaging his date. Romo Vincent is the waiter. 6/15/22 
• 041. The Hooterville Image – 11/16/1966
  • As Oliver is trying to get dressed for the day, he discovers that Eb has been ironing his shirts. This leads to a discussion with Eb about how many suits, shirts, and shoes Oliver has, and then he has the same conversation with the Monroe brothers. He is also fed up with the closet door constantly falling off the closet, so he demands that the Monroes fix it. They end up putting a giant spring in it that make it nearly impossible to open. Oliver finally gets dressed and heads out to pull up a stump. Meanwhile over at Druckers, Sam is trying to unload a shipment of overalls, but Mr. Haney comes into the store and tries to unload his own supply. He also shares the news about Oliver pulling up a stump while wearing a suit and tie. Haney, Fred, and Newt decide to show Oliver how he is disrupting the Hooterville image and to show him how ridiculous he looks. When Oliver discovers the spring on the closet, he starts seeking the Monroes, and when he stops by the Ziffels, he sees Fred wearing his ‘pig slopping’ suit. He then heads to Newt’s place where he finds him wearing his ‘oil changing’ suit. Even Charley and Floyd are wearing suits while chopping wood for the Cannonball. Oliver finally realizes that everyone in town is making fun of him for wearing his suit. Lisa suggests that Oliver change the way he dresses, but Oliver gives a speech about the freedom for a man to dress the way he wants. While Lisa is feeding the chickens, Oliver learns that Chloe the chicken plays a tiny piano. Mr. Kimball stops by to tell Oliver how he has disrupted the community by the way he dresses. Oliver decides to go to Druckers to buy some overalls, but Lisa has already had her dressmaker make him a $150 pair of overalls… out of Italian silk, golden buttons, and mink. A polka dot dress shirt and a straw hat completes the ensemble, but Oliver thinks they are ridiculous. Before he can get out of them, the other guys all see him wearing them and decide to continue the ‘war’. Finally, Oliver shows up at Drukers sporting his regular overalls. They are all still wearing their suits, but they are mad at Oliver again because now their wives insist that they keep wearing them so they don’t look like slobs. They suggest that Oliver put his suits back on as they now how have a new Hooterville image. 10/8/22
• 042. You Ought to Be in Pictures – 11/23/1966
  • Oliver is ready to head off to make an acceptance speech at the Chamber of Commerce, but Lisa has sent his speech to the mallethead cleaner Roy Trendell. Nevertheless, Oliver goes through with trying to deliver a short speech. Mr. Haney tries to give him an official Chamber of Commerce belt buckle and tie clip… but then tries to charge him for them, so Oliver refuses. Haney then speaks about his attempt to jump start fundraisers for the town, including hosting the World’s Fair and the Olympics in Hooterville. His last idea is to have a Hollywood picture made in town. Oliver finds out he has no say or no vote without having an official belt buckle or tie clip. Meanwhile, Oliver has been sending letters to the Department of Agriculture with complaints about the poor advice he has gotten from them on growing his crops. Over in Washington at the Department of Agriculture office, Film Division director James D. Stewart (Bernie Kopell) discusses with his assistant Mr. Melvin (Byron Foulger) all of the nasty notes that Oliver has sent to them regarding his trouble growing crops and suggests that he might go to Hooterville to make a film about the pitfalls of a city man trying to start his own farm. He tries to call Oliver, but since he’s not home, he winds up talking to Doris, Fred, and Sam over at Drucker’s. When they find out that his name is Jimmy Stewart, they think that he is the actor and that Mr. Haney’s letter got through to him. He tells them that he is coming to town to make his film. Oliver is dumbfounded when he hears this, and once the word gets around town, Mr. Haney is able to convince the Ziffels, Sam Drucker, Eb, Mr. Kimball, and Lisa to take acting lessons with him. Sam even dons his toupee and Mr. Kimball wears a fake beard and mustache in case they need an Abe Lincoln character in the picture. He shows up at Oliver’s farm, angry because his letters to the Department of Agriculture make Kimball look incompetent. He has to rush back to acting lessons, which angers Oliver. He goes to see Haney’s School of Sinema Acting lessons, which include using a can of tomatoes as a camera lens, and a can of sardines as the microphone. He finds it ridiculous and drags Lisa away. The other townspeople wait for Jimmy Stewart to arrive and are disappointed to find that it is a different Jimmy Stewart. He makes his way to the Douglas farm, but Oliver takes offense and claims that the poor condition of the farm is due to the poor guides from the Department. Stewart points out that Oliver missed some important steps in the manual about crop rotation and the fact that Oliver planted his crops the day after spreading lime, when he should have done that four months before planting crops. Stewart takes his film back to his office and shares it with Mr. Melvin. After seeing how ridiculous the farm, the Douglases, and he other farmers in town – who refuse to look at the ‘tomato can’ – he and Melvin agree to burn the film. NOTE: The character identified on his office door as James D. Stewart is listed as James Stuart in the credits. 10/9/22
• 043. A Home Isn’t Built in a Day – 11/30/1966
  • Lisa is having problems in the kitchen whereby one appliance opens when another one gets shut. She starts showing Oliver the issues, and winds up giving him a tour of all of the items in the house that needs fixed. Lisa threatens to move back to New York if he doesn’t fix the place up. When Ralph and Alf show up to start plastering at 4:00 in the afternoon, Oliver fires them and decides to hire a real architect, which reduces the Monroes to tears. Oliver goes to see Mr. Drucker for his recommendation for an architect. While Mr. Haney recommends his cousin Frank Lloyd, Drucker recommends Dillwell Pinkley (Richard Erdman) from Pixley. Haney is also irate when he finds out that Oliver plans to ‘tamper with history’ by rebuilding his house. Back home, Lisa gets each individual animal to supply the items she needs to bake a cake. Mr. Kimball shows up to watch her gather the milk, eggs, and butter. Mr. Pinkney comes back with Oliver and makes some lovely sketches of the new house, both exterior and interior. His estimate is too high at first, but Oliver has him re-figure it and they reach an agreement. Pinkley recommends using the contractor Eli Boone (Mike Wagner), and they are scheduled to start work at 6am. However, when Oliver and Lisa wake up at 8:00 and no one is working, Oliver discovers them outside playing cards. They refuse to cross the picket line of Ralph and Alf, who are picketing for raises. Boone, who is the Monroes’ uncle, plans to return the next morning. Again, they are playing cards when Oliver wakes up. This time they aren’t working because Boone’s cousin Mr. Haney has an injunction to stop them from tearing down the house, since it was the birthplace of state’s founder, Rutherford B. Skrug. Haney says that only a historical architect – like his cousin Frank Lloyd – can do any work on the house. Lisa agrees not to move back to New York, but laments that she never does… and nothing in the house ever gets fixed. 2/3/23
• 044. A Square Is Not Round – 12/14/1966
  • Oliver finds it strange that Lisa is calling out the number “five” whenever she wants the toast to go into or pop out of the toaster. He thinks the toaster is broken, so he goes to get another one at Drucker’s. There he learns that recent models of toasters respond to different numbers. Furthermore, other appliances start to respond to different numbers. Even more confounding to him is that one of his hens is laying square eggs. Oliver tries to figure out which hen, including Alice, Emily, and Henrietta, is laying the square eggs by seeing if the mother will come sit on one of them, but Lisa falls on the way out and breaks all of the square eggs. During this, another square egg is laid. Against Lisa’s wishes, Oliver puts each hen in a separate cage to see which one lays the square egg. Mr. Kimball stops by while they are watching the hens and thinks that Mr. Douglas must’ve been drinking when he saw the square eggs. He shows Kimball an example of an egg, and he tells Douglas that Ned Moody (James Westerfield) with the Chicken Breeders Association has been trying to breed a square-egg-layer for years and would probably offer a lot of money for the hen laying them. When Lisa lets the hens out to stretch, one of them leaves a square egg behind, but they don’t know which one it was. Mr. Haney hears about the goldmine hen and tries to give Oliver $10 as a refund for the hen laying strangely shaped eggs. When Oliver refuses, he offers his services as a chicken watcher to figure out which hen is laying the squares. Mr. Moody then comes to see the eggs and offers Oliver $1000 to take all of them. Oliver accepts the deal, but Lisa is crushed because she loved the hens. Weeks go by and she won’t stop moping. Mr. Moody then returns all of the hens since not one of them has laid a square egg in all of that time and cancels payment on Oliver’s check. As soon as Moody pulls away, Lisa finds a square egg in one of the cages. They still don’t which one laid it, but Lisa surmises that the hen would only lay them for a friend and not a stranger. The next morning, Oliver wakes up and tries to tell the toaster “five”. Lisa has no idea what he is talking about and has no knowledge of Mr. Moody or square eggs. Surmising he had a dream, Oliver returns to be to see how it turns out. Lisa then opens the refrigerator by saying the word “Mable.” 2/3/23
• 045. An Old-Fashioned Christmas – 12/21/1966
  • Several years before moving to Hooterville, Oliver tried in vain to find a live green tree to bring home from a tree salesman named Harry (Vince Barnett), but he only offered expensive spray-painted trees. Oliver vowed that one day he would no longer be buying from Harry because he will have his own farm. Now in the present day, Oliver to cut down his own tree on his own land, and although it is 81 degrees, Oliver is planning for an old-fashioned Christmas. Mr. Haney stops by and tries to sell Oliver a transistor musical tie to give Eb for Christmas. When Oliver tells Haney that he plans on cutting down his own tree, Haney is incredulous and tells him that no one would ever dream of doing that. He also tells Oliver that it is illegal due to a conservation law, and he will be arrested if he tries it. Oliver goes to see Sam Drucker to verify the truth in this and finds Fred there considering whether he should buy the new plastic tree or the old-fashioned kind… ie. an aluminum tree. Drucker tries to show him the advantage of the new trees, which have bulbs that can be squeezed to produce ‘spruce spray’ and imitation sap. Fred and Sam refer him to Mr. Kimball, who verifies that it is true and that he will need a permit to be allowed to do this. While Lisa works on baking a fruitcake out of hotcakes and unpeeled pineapples, oranges, and apples, Oliver cuts down the tree and brings it indoors. Meanwhile, Fred brings home the new plastic tree, but Arnold is scared by the spruce spray. Doris tells Fred that it seems that the Douglases have the right idea by having an old-fashioned Christmas. Oliver trims and decorates the tree, and Lisa strings together corn on the cob – instead of popcorn – to hang on the tree. The Ziffels then show up with Arnold to see the old-fashioned tree. Then Sam and Hank show up to see it as well. When Eb points out that Doris is standing under the mistletoe, Fred dips her and plants a big kiss on her. Everyone asks Oliver to get out his guitar and sing some Christmas carols. Everyone settles in for the evening, but then when Lisa brings out her ‘fruitcake’, they all flee. Oliver tells Lisa that only one thing would make his Christmas complete, and suddenly it starts to snow. It turns out to be Mr. Haney throwing soap flakes off the roof, which was Lisa’s gift to her husband. 7/14/23
• 046. Never Trust a Little Old Lady – 12/28/1966
  • Oliver has been trying to find some useful weather information so that he can determine if he should plant his tomatoes, but WPIXL-TV reports from their weather station on top of Buelly’s Car Wash in Pixley, which is simply a small structure with two doors that shows a little old lady that comes out of her door with an umbrella, which supposedly indicates rainy weather. Oliver heads to see Sam Drucker and finds that Fred and Newt have taken the little old lady Mildred’s forecast to heart and they are buying rain slickers and sandbags. Eb thinks that Mildred isn’t reliable, and he takes all of his weather info from Walter, the singing weatherman on W.T.B.Z.F., who is predicting a drought. The Cannonball engineers Floyd and Charly aren’t running their normal runs because Charley believes in Mildred’s rainy prediction, while Floyd believes in Walter’s drought. Oliver takes Eb to Pixley to pick up the tomatoes themselves. As they are planting them, Mr. Haney tries to sell them Haney’s Automatic Tomato Planter, which he hasn’t yet developed, as well as voodoo dolls, the Mildred hexer and the Walter jinxer. That night before bed, Lisa turns on the WPIXL weather and finds that the little old man has come out of the house, and the little old lady has taken her umbrella back in, indicating no rain. Oliver says that he had already predicted this. He dreams that night that he and Lisa are the little old man and lady in the house. He wakes up after the dream freezing in his bed thanks to a frost that will kill the tomatoes. He wakes up Eb, and they put the tomatoes back in the flats and bring them into the house. Mr. Kimball stops by the house to let Oliver know that his tomatoes have been stolen. When Oliver shows him the plants inside, Hank tells him that he gets his weather his information from the almanac, which seems eerily correct. Oliver calls the United States Weather Bureau to get the actual report, which is for warm weather. This convinces him, as well as Fred and Newt, to plant their tomato plants. However, Fred and Newt show up on the middle of the night to tell Oliver that the weather has dropped to below 30 degrees. Oliver gets the idea to use the flaming crepe suzette hotcakes to warm the tomato plants. Jack Bailey is the TV announcer. 7/15/23
• 047. School Days – 1/4/1967
  • Oliver is happy when he sees that Lisa is making something different than hotcakes in the kitchen. However, when he sees her shoving bread dough in a bread bag, which had to be purchased with a loaf inside that is now intended to be used to stuff a ten-loaf turkey, Oliver gets annoyed that Lisa still has no learned the fundamentals of cooking. He suggests that she attend a Domestic Science class at Hooterville High in order to learn. Lisa shows up at the school the next day and is given an enrollment questionnaire and a class assignment schedule by Principal Russell (George Ives). Oliver is surprised when he finds out that she has enrolled in Algebra, Chemistry, History, English Literature, and lunch, claiming she has to get in sixteen units, or she can be drafted into military service. If she doesn’t carry a full load, she can’t go to school. The next morning, Lisa wakes Oliver up first thing in the morning to take her to school and to get his opinion on what to wear. Lisa starts her Domestic Science course taught by Mrs. Hockmeister (Sarah Selby), and quickly arouses her ire when she insists on sharing anecdotes and tips for a successful marriage. Oliver is called into the Mr. Russell’s office and is told that Lisa is disrupting class, so Oliver has a talk with her to tell her how disappointed he is that he is being called in. She promises to be better, but it isn’t long until Oliver is called back into the principal when Lisa causes an explosion in Chemistry class and argues about Hungarian history in Mr. Dillman’s (Walker Edmiston) class. She is dropped from the class, so she picks up a Driver’s Training class taught by Mr. Tom Blockwell (Dave Willock), but when she winds up backing up through the girls’ shower room, she is expelled from school once and for all. Oliver has to tell Lisa the bad news, and she apologizes for not learning to cook. He concedes that at least now he is the only one in danger, and not a school full of innocent children. They start to head home, but Lisa has to grab her pom-poms since she was just made cheerleader for the football team. Charles Briles is the boy at the drinking fountain. Dennis Pepper is the boy in the carpool. Ethelinn Block is the girl who forgets her lunch. 11/13/23
• 048. His Honor – 1/11/1967
  • Eb is having trouble with the tractor going crazy and driving itself, while Lisa is preparing something new in the kitchen: hots-kabobs, a version of hotcakes on a skewer. Eb comes in and tells Oliver about the tractor, and they realize that the hots-kabob skewer is the rod that is missing from the tractor that is causing all of the problems. Lisa says that they can’t have the rod back unless they eat the hots-kabobs. Instead, Oliver got to Druckers’ store to try and find a tractor rod. He doesn’t have any but offers Oliver a hots-kabob skewer. Meanwhile, Roy Trendell has resigned from being the livestock judge for the county fair. Sam is looking to appoint someone to take over, but neither Mr. Haney, Newt Kiley, nor Fred Ziffel want the job. When Oliver shows up, they ask him if he would like to take over the job as judge. He is overwhelmed by the offer, thinking they want him as an actual judge. Oliver decides to take Lisa to New York to get new clothes, considering their new stature. Oliver also wants to look up his old law mentor Judge Crandell (Grandon Rhodes) to get some advice about being a judge. They fly to New York, and Lisa is greeted by Oliver’s mother, who takes Lisa shopping. She buys Oliver a robe, gavel, and powdered wig in honor of his new job. Back in Hooterville, Roy Trendell decides he wants to keep the job as judge of the livestock exhibit, so Sam decides to make Oliver the apple judge. He calls and gives the message to Lisa, but since she has spelled so many words incorrectly, Oliver thinks he is being appointed as the Appeals Judge. Oliver goes to visit Judge Crandell, but he doesn’t remember Oliver, and then tells Oliver how much he admires him for buying his own farm. As they drive home from the airport, Oliver is pulled over by a motorcycle cop (Hoke Howell), but Lisa thinks he shouldn’t get one since he is becoming a judge, so she rips it up. The officer takes them to court, and Judge Wilkins (Stanley Farrar) isn’t impressed when Oliver tells him that he was appointed judge by Sam Drucker. Wilkins calls Drucker and tells him to straighten Oliver out. Drucker sends Hank Kimball over to tell Oliver the bad news, and after hem-hawing around, he finally conveys that Oliver is to judge the apples at the fair. He does so willingly, but Lisa makes him wear his robe and powdered wig while judging the apples. The other townsmen also are wearing robes, and they credit Oliver for the idea of adding a touch of class to the fair. Bobs Watson is the bell hop. 11/13/23
• 049. It’s So Peaceful in the Country – 1/18/1967
  • Oliver’s mother Eunice isn’t feeling well, so Lisa goes to check on in her in New York. Her doctor Dr. Faber (Vinton Hayworth) advises her that she is suffering from exhaustion and advises her to spend some time with Oliver and Lisa in Hooterville. Lisa calls Oliver on the Hooterville party line, and has to compete with Mr. Drucker, Doris Ziffel, and Newt Kiley on the line. Oliver demands that everyone get off the phone, so they all hang up, including his mother. Oliver asks the operator Sarah to keep trying his mother. Eunice reluctantly agrees to go home with Lisa on the Cannonball, where Charley and Floyd show them around. Oliver and Lisa take Ebb’s loft so that Mother can have their bed, relegating Ebb to a sleeping bag. Since Oliver needs the car to pick up his mother and Lisa from the station, Ebb is forced to take the tractor to the drive-in movies with his girlfriend Ophelia. On her first night on the farm, she is awakened when Ebb comes home on the tractor, and it backfires. He then wakes up Oliver to ask him to borrow some money for a snack. Then she has to get up in the middle of the night to climb onto the roof to answer the phone. It turns out to be Sarah, letting Mr. Douglas know that she is still trying to get hold of his mother. After Eunice tells her that she can stop, she falls off the roof. She makes it back to bed, but is awakened early by Ralph and Alf, who have come to do work on the house. Oliver gets them to stop drilling holes in the house so that his mother can sleep. The next night, Oliver and Lisa offer to let his mother sleep in the loft where it will be quieter. Things start off peacefully, but she is again awakened early, this time by Sioux Indiana who have come to pay their annual visit to do their ritual Bear Dance to summon bears. Chief Yellow Horse (J. Carrol Naish) says that they had made a 99-year contract with the former owner Mr. Haney to be able to hold the ceremony on the property. Mr. Kimball stops by, but his only advice to get rid of the Sioux is to call John Wayne. Furthermore, Mr. Haney himself causes more interruptions when he brings a tour group through the house to show off where the first Sioux Bear Dance ground took place. Chief Yellow Horse begins to take an interest in Oliver’s mother, referring to her as ‘Old Squaw’. When he finds out she isn’t feeling well, he brings a Medicine Man (Herman Rudin) into her room to perform a ritual. Eunice then expresses that she wants to go home. Oliver tries to get the Indians to leave again, but Yellow Horse says he will only leave if he can take the Old Squaw with him, offering up goats and pigs in trade. Oliver runs it by his mother as a joke, and then offers Yellow Horse some of ‘her’ hotcakes. This is enough to send Yellow Horse and the other Indians fleeing. After he leaves, a black bear shows up, but they are able to scare him off with Lisa’s hotcakes as well. 3/21/24
• 050. Exodus to Bleedswell – 1/25/1967
  • One morning after Lisa notices the names Jay Summers and Dick ‘Chevrolet’ over them, Mr. Haney shows up offering Oliver a seat on his bus to Bleedswell. He tells Oliver that many of the Hooterville residents are heading there for job, and this is verified by Ralph and Alf who show up to do work on the Douglas bedroom before they leave for Bleedswell themselves. Eb tells Oliver that he plans to go along as well, so Lisa offers to send him off with some codfish balls, which are really hotcakes rolled into balls. Eb tells Oliver that they are opening a defense plant in Bleedswell and are offering inducements to get folks to work there. Eb plans to apply to be a structural programming aerodynamics calibrator. The Ziffels also stop by to say goodbye and tells the Douglases that Newt Kiley, Ben Miller, and Roy Trendell are all leaving as well. Lisa suggests that they open up a defense plant in Hooterville, so Oliver takes the idea to Sam Drucker. Sam calls a meeting of the town council and takes a vote on opening up an airplane factor and making Oliver the president, despite Roy’s objections since he wants to be the president. The next morning, they show up early at Oliver’s place and give him the news. He suggests that it would take millions of dollars and a government contract to start up a defense plant. Roy tells him that they already have a contract with the United States Army to build 32 planes in 1917 during World War 1, and they have only fulfilled 26 of them. Furthermore, the contract has no expiration and cannot be canceled, so they decide to go to work on the final six planes using the Simpson barn. Meanwhile, General Sloat (Herbert Rudley) is notified of the Hooterville Airplane Company and the contract they are fulfilling. Back at the Simpson barn, Oliver has trouble getting access to the barn until he buys a $7 badge from Mr. Haney. Once he gets inside, he finds Ralph and Alf working on the plane fuselage using bamboo for the wings. They are also using the plans from a model airplane kit since they can’t find the original plans. When they start running out of nails and wood, Oliver suggests that they write to the Air Force and tell them what they need. When the General gets the request, he calls in Mr. Travis (Damian O’Flynn) from the Attorney General’s office to see if the contract is really still in force. He determines that it was signed by Woodrow Wilson and that it is still in force. However, they decide to call Oliver Douglas and arrange a meeting with him. They fly to Hooterville and jump from their airplane over the town since they don’t have an airport. Oliver tells the General how everything happened and that there isn’t anything he can do to stop it. The General reminds Oliver that he is still in the Air Force Reserves and orders him back to active duty as a test pilot to fly the Jennys. However, when they christen the plane Miss Hooterville with a bottle of champagne, the plane falls apart. Les Brown Jr. and Garrison True are Army Sergeants. 3/23/24
• 051. It’s Human to Be Humane – 2/1/1967
  • When Lisa gets her hand stuck in the dishwasher, Oliver helps her get it out, then gets his own hand stuck in the process. She takes the opportunity of him being stuck to talk to him and tell him how bored she is getting. She offers to play Scribble, Cabbage, or Monotony with her, the asks him to dance, or if she can nibble on his ear. Oliver is preoccupied trying to balance the financial books of the farm, so he tells Lisa that he will talk to her the next day. After staying up all night going over the books, he discovers that they made a $16.42 profit for the entire year. Nevertheless, Lisa wakes up Oliver first thing in the morning so that they can talk. When he gets frustrated, she then wants to help him with his farming. He wants her to find something else to do, so when he goes into town to see Sam Drunker for a bolt, he runs into Doris Ziffel and asks for recommendation for things Lisa can do. She suggests that Lisa head up the Human Humane Committee. Lisa is excited when she is told that she now has this role, so she starts to take it seriously immediately and won’t let Oliver take the chair from their dog, forcing Oliver to sit on the floor to read the newspaper. Lisa also goes to see Newt Kiley to dissuade him from taking his chickens’ eggs. She also visits Roy Trendell and stops him from duck hunting. She even insists that Sam Drucker disarm all of his mousetraps. She accepts an entire house full of farm animals brought there by Mr. Haney. However, Oliver insists it won’t fly when Haney tries to bill Oliver for the corn damage that the animals did to his home, although Haney does agree to accept $16.42. During the chaos with the animals, Mr. Kimball stops by to ask Oliver to sign a petition to run Lisa out of town because of the interference she is causing with everyone’s animals. Mr. Douglas says he has an idea how to take care of Lisa, and the next day he calls her outside to show her a gift that he bought for Mrs. Ziffel. It turns out to be a mink coat, and he tells her that he really bought it for her, but that she wouldn’t be able to accept it since they are made of minks. Lisa is suddenly able to relinquish the role as the head of the Human Humae committee, and agrees to get rid of all of the animals. Oliver says he can’t just give her the mink and offers to play a game of Cabbage for it. 8/11/24
• 052. Never Take Your Wife to a Convention – 2/8/1967
  • Oliver is astounded when he finds out from Mr. Haney and Fred Ziffel that they are not sending anyone to the Farmers Convention at the State Capitol. They suggest that if Oliver wants to go, he should pay his own way and be the one to represent them. When Oliver tells Lisa that he plans to go, she reminds him about the lawyers’ convention he went to in Atlantic City and accidentally knocked out the hotel manager when he went down the stairwell on a surfboard. When they arrive at the convention hotel, the hotel clerk (George Neise) tries to give him the room of Oscar Mendel McDougal (Ralph Neff). After they get the name cleared up, the clerk recognizes his name since the hotel in Atlantic City has warned them about him. The bellboy (Phil Gordon) notes to Oliver that the clerk must have something against him to give him room 807. Before the opening session, Oliver wants to mingle, and he immediately runs into a former dancer from the Boston Follies named Wanda Hill (Barbara Nichols), who he knew from when he attended Harvard. It also turns out that her husband is Charlie (Jesse White), an old friend of Lisa’s whose mother used Charlie’s father as his bootlegger. Charlie talks Oliver and Lisa into skipping the opening session of the convention, and they all go out drinking. Oliver finds out that Charlie owns 5000 acres of farmland, most of which he obtained by extorting his neighbors by strongarming them through various accidents around their farms. They all then go out dancing until 4:00am. The next morning, Oliver is too hungover and tired to get up for any of the convention sessions. They return to their farm and get some good sleep, but it isn’t long before Charlie and Wanda show up with their limosuine driver/muscle Louie (Murray Alper) show up at their home. Charlie gives Eb $50 to teach Louie how to speak like a hired hand. They then give Lisa Wanda’s mink and jewelry and offer to give Oliver a new tractor and a herd of cows. After they leave, Oliver insists that everything that Lisa received, as well as Eb’s $50 has to go back. He then discovers that Charlie has had a blue tractor delivered. Oliver finds out from Sam that the blue tractor has been stolen from Crabwell Corners. He then subsequently finds that Charlie has also delivered 30 stolen cows, a stolen milking machine, a combine, and a bagful of money obtained in a bank robbery at the Pixley National Bank. Oliver eventually gives everything over to the police, who thankfully believes that Oliver was not a fence for stolen goods. However, he lets Eb keep his fifty-dollar bill but then finds out that Eb was arrested for passing a counterfeit fifty-dollar bill. 8/10/24
• 053. The Computer Age – 2/15/1967
  • When Mr. Ziffel and Hank Kimball are arguing over whether computers will ever be able to tell a farmer what they should plant, Mr. Douglas roams into Drucker’s and joins the conversation, taking the side of the computer being able to do just that. When he gets home, he tells Lisa about the conversation. Ralph and Alf are working on the closet door, which they attempt to fix by having the entire closet slide rather than just the door. Ralph overhears the conversation about the computers, as well as Mr. Douglas’s opinion about how useful they can be. She asks him to borrow $18 so that she can join Cupid’s Computer Club, a dating service that will help her find a husband. He gladly lends her the money, but Lisa thinks that it isn’t natural for couples to meet that way, preferring an old-fashioned courtship. They make a bet that if they join the club, they will be matched together the same as if they had courted. They go to Cupid’s and pay the $36 to have Mr. Blisswell (Francis De Sales) have them fill out their ‘poop sheet’, telling them that he and his wife (Ingeborg Kjeldsen) who is the company’s secretary where matched by the computer. When he puts their cards into the computer, they land is totally separate slots that are almost as far from each other as possible. Lisa tells Oliver that they must have gotten it all wrong when they met and storms out of the office. Back home, Oliver tries to convince her not to believe in the computer service after all. She stubbornly won’t let him in and then hits him in the nose with the door, where he had already been hit by Ralph opening  door in his face. Lisa locks him out of the room that night, and Mr. Haney gets wind of it and stops by to sell him his Haney’s Apology Service. It turns out he doesn’t need it, as Lisa comes and tells him that she had unlocked the door much earlier as she was only kidding. Mr. Haney still tries to charge them for their reconciliation. While they are cooing on the couch, a man named George (Jay Douglas) stops by and tells them that he has matched with Mrs. Douglas. Oliver throws him out but gets punched in the nose in the same spot. Ralph then stops by and says that she was matched with someone and is going to be married. However, it turns out that the guy is Mr. Douglas. She yells at him for entering his card in the computer club and storms out as well. Oliver and Lisa start to kiss, but he hits his nose on her forehead. 12/9/24
• 054. Never Start Talking Unless Your Voice Comes Out – 2/22/1967
  • As Oliver heads to Drucker’s store, Eb tries to ask him if he is going there but his mouth is out of sync with his words. Because banging on his head is the only thing that fixes him, he asks him to pick him up some aspirin. Oliver is actually going to buy a gift for Lisa to celebrate their one-year anniversary of buying the farm. As Sam is grabbing him a jug of French perfume, Oliver ponders a letter that he has received from his lawyer friend Brad Wingate. When he gets home, he tells her that Brad has offered him a job in his farm in Washington D.C. She argues that Oliver wanted to get away from the city, but Oliver considers it as it means he will get to argue before the Supreme Court. Lisa goes to visit Doris to tell her the news, and Doris is sad because she loves it when Lisa visits her. She yells at Fred for never giving Oliver any legal cases to keep his legal practice alive. The Ziffels then go to see Oliver to ask him to represent them in their divorce. He refuses, as he is friends with them and doesn’t normally handle such cases. The Ziffels then go see Sam, Newt Kiley, and Mr. Haney at the store, and they agree that Newt will help Haney move his fence onto Haney’s property and then sue him. Oliver solves their case by simply telling Newt to help him move the fence back. He then realizes that they are only coming up with cockamamie cases in order to keep him from leaving town for Washington. Moved by their sincerity, he writes Brad Wingate a letter and declines the job. He gives one of his rousing speeches to the guys about how the farmer is the American backbone. After they suffer through the speech, Mr. Haney points out that it is awfully suspicious that he doesn’t want to leave his farm for such a lucrative job. Hank Kimball then goes to see Mr. Douglas and accuses him of counterfeiting, running ‘wetbacks’, and bootlegging alcohol. He denies all of this, and when he gets a call from Brad in Washington, Mr. Kimball then suspects that he is with the CIA. Oliver reflects on the ridiculous day that he had, just before everyone shows him up and apologizes for accusing him of all of the crimes. However, they start questioning him about his cases with the CIA. Oliver simply humors them and tells them that he is knows as agent 198 and Lisa is actually Hortense Kalish, agent 37-29-42. He tells them that in the interest of national security, they need to go home and forget they ever knew them, and they oblige. When their dog Mignon’s bark is out of sync, Lisa advises her to bang the side of her head. 12/9/24

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