The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"These pretzels are making me thirsty." - Jerry, George, Kramer, & Elaine, "Seinfeld"

80x12.jpgFor Christmas 1979, Dad bought the family a black and white video camera. On that Christmas, we opened it up on Christmas morning, so we were only able to actually record the aftermath of the holiday morning. 1980 was the first time where we were able to create a nearly complete record of the events of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. This time period represents the very heart of the incredibly fond memories I have of Christmas with my family – a run of about eight years where I was a fully, cognizant child…and Denise still believed in Santa Claus.

Before Christmas even arrived, we had the traditional kids’ party held at the Eagles club in Beavercreek. I’m not sure if Grandpa Murphy was the president of the organization at that point but he was certainly a bigwig, carrying the microphone and hosting the proceedings – and invariably leading us in song. I was happy to participate in the kids games, but wanted nothing to do with Santa Claus – or posing for a picture with him. It is funny to look at the progression of photos throughout the late 70’s of my waning enthusiasm for jolly old Saint Nick – culminating in the great photo below of me grabbing my gift from a distance. What was the present you ask? The Mighty Men and Monster Maker, which came with tiles of different segments of the body and could be put together in any configuration and then transferred to paper via a crayon rubbing.

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Avoiding Santa at any cost

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Denise was more of a sport, but then again she believed in the sucker

As for those games – I somehow remember that my partner in the Santa pants balloon stuffing game was named Cheryl. I guess I remember that because she is the first girl who ever tried to shove anything down my pants.

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 I’m not sure this would even be legal in this day and age

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Grandpa looks on jovially from afar while I fill my pants

Christmas Eve fell on a Wednesday and was held at our Winterset home. As usual this was the time allotted for my Dad’s side of the family. We had Bill, Dottie, Lora, and Robby over along with Grandma and Oscar, Arline and Carl, and Harold. Dad set up the camera on a stationary tripod to record nearly 30 minutes of the evening as we tore through the gifts. In the background the soothing music of traditional Christmas carols played.

The camera didn’t record the traditional meal, or the whining by me inquiring when we were going to open the gifts, but I’m sure just having discovered ham and swiss on ryes the previous Summer, that is what I scarfed down. When it came time to finally open the presents, I parked myself near the tree, Mom called out the owners of them, and little four-year old Denise delivered them.

Usually we only got a limited number of gifts on Christmas Eve: one from Mom, one from Dad, and then some from the visiting relatives. This year it seemed like we got quite a few. I started out trying to open a big box, but couldn’t get it opened so I moved on to an easier gift: which was a ventriloquism lesson record with Edgar Bergan. This made no sense until I returned to the bigger box which contained a ventrilquist dummy of Charlie McCarthey. Denise and I each got a Laurel and Hardy shirt as well and I got a package of markers and a sports card carrying case from Bill and Dottie and some money from Grandma Range.

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The warm glow of our tree on Christmas Eve

I already had my penchant for good humor as evidenced when a drink was spilled that night. My Mom told me to rush and get a paper towel to clean it up, to which I responded, “why don’t you just using wrapping paper?” It was clear that Mom had already begun her practice of ignoring what we were saying when the camera was left on Denise as she struggled to figure out what to do with her Barbie Corvette stickers and began to peel them off while trying to get Mom’s attention in vain. Mom had to use the video to figure out what she had done with the stickers when it came time to actually apply them.

And I don’t quite know how to fit this into this remembrance, but Bill got a cowboy hat – and looked particularly dashing I might add.

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Christmas morning. We patiently wait for the coffee to brew and to get the signal to begin the frenzy

Christmas morning was the standard fare. Mom and Dad sat around us slurping their coffee, while Denise and I tore into our gifts. I’ve hated coffee ever since. I must say that I still can’t believe how many gifts we got for Christmas. I thought that I always spoiled Ashleigh and Briana, but now I know where I got it. Of course, Mom had a keen eye for getting a lot of low-dollar items that still made it seem like we were getting a ton of stuff. Also as usual, Dad was paying more attention to me and Mom was watching Denise. Dad would occasionally exclaim “Oh boy!” Beaver-Cleaver-style, when Denise would show him what she had just opened. He also tired fruitlessly to get us to alternate opening gifts one at a time. It’s funny to watch me as I would open one gift, glance at it for two seconds, and put it aside before tearing into the next one.

After the holiday, I made a complete list of everything I got for Christmas and continued the tradition for a couple of years. I have since lost the list unfortunately, but can pretty much see everything that I got this particular year in the video and photos. Denise and I kicked off the gift unveiling with our stocking stuffers – personalized paper pads and pencils (I still have some of the paper). Then we each went our own way opening presents. Also in my stocking, I got some Cracked magazines which conatined some photo funnies of Laurel and Hardy. In the larger packages were my own Sons of the Desert fez, the game Tripoli, monkey pajamas, a sweat suit, my first Leonard Maltin TV Movies book, a L&H Towed in a Hole poster (Mom commented hopefully “well I guess KISS will be coming down and Laurel and Hardy will be going up, huh?”), a chemistry set (my favorite gift ever), a world globe, and the game Clue (which I had learned how to play at Sunil’s house prior to receiving my own).

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 The monkey on my front

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Wearing and playing with some of my loot

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In some of my new clothes, I join Denise in playing with our dolls. Sweatpants and cowboy boots never went together, did they?

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By the way, there’s nothing quite as annoying as a nine-year-old with a ventriloquist dummy

Mom then asked me “are you getting everything that you wanted so far?” To which I responded “what do you mean so far? I’m done!” It always seemed like Denise got more gifts, although hers were always cheaper. Also she was always slower. Denise got a Pepsi dispenser, coloring books, a Ken doll, an Easy Bake Oven and mixes to use with them (predictably, she opened the mixes first and had no idea what they were), a bike basket, jewelry and rings, Bingo, Laurel and Hardy finger puppets, The Hobbit record, a night gown, and R2D2 Underoos among other things.

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 Denise apparently loves her gifts

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 Denise down to her R2-D2s

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Taking a rest after all of the merrymaking of Christmas morn

The camera didn’t stay on for Mom and Dad’s gifts, but there were still more Laurel and Hardy items given. Mom got a crochet rug of the boys and someone got a Laurel and Hardy mirror. They were clearly consuming our lives as they should be for everyone. Dad got the red Beatles album 1963-1966. They were in the process of permeating my world as well.

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 Playing with the chemistry set on Christmas morning. I only drank a little.

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 My official Christmas pose 1980

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 Denise’s pose

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 A bit more debonair in the fez

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 Denise ready to head out in her new dress

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Not sure what is up with the paper clip chain, but boy those were fun days

Atypically, we spend Christmas afternoon with my Mom’s family at Diana’s house in Bellbrook rather than Grandma and Grandpa’s place. There are only a couple photos from there, but I think that I got a calculator in the gift exchange, the game Operation from Darlene, and Rummikub from Grandma and Grandpa. There is some speculation there based on photos of the gifts.

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Jim, Bev, Dad, and Grandma chat with Diana and Cathy

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Darlene and her boyfriend Lonnie, whom none of us liked. No one was good enough for Darlene in those days

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Darlene visits after Christmas to operate

All in all, this certainly ranks as one of the very best Christmases of my childhood life.

We will continue this awkward age in 1981

2 Responses to “CHRISTMAS 10 – 1980”

  1. I got a Charlie McCarthy dummy for Christmas about that same time. I think Santa ordered it from Sears & Roebucks or some other catalog store. It came with an LP of Edgar Bergen explaining the techniques of talking without moving your lips and had a couple of old radio show routines mixed in for good measure. The rubber bands that helped the mouth spring back into position were the first to go. The clothes and body dry rotted pretty quickly as well. At least the old record album still survives. I can’t imagine a kid getting one of these for Christmas now. It would be the modern day equivalent to getting socks!

    Dave Chasteen

  2. I never got a Charlie McCarthy, but I eventually got two different Jerry Mahoneys–a small one with a red jacket and a head firmly mounted onto a stuffed body, and a larger one with a yellow jacket and the head on a pole that you could swivel through a hole in the back. (I never did get one with the moving eyes like the *real* Jerry Mahoney on TV, though.) I’ve got that Edgar Bergen LP and also two others by Jimmy Nelson with Danny O’Day and Farfel, but I don’t think Paul Winchell ever put out a ventriloquism-technique record. (I do have the opening and closing theme from the ’60s TV show, though–good to have, as the tapes of the show were all erased!) Gee, your parents wanted Beatles and L&H presents? I can’t imagine such a thing. Mine were very good about giving *me* such goodies on Christmas, though.

    Randy Skretvedt

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