The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Adam F. Goldberg

Theme song: “Rewind” by I Fight Dragons

• 001. The Circle of Driving – 9/24/2013
  • Adam Goldberg (voiced by Patton Oswalt) narrates tales of his family from the 1980’s in their hometown of Jenkintown, Pennsylvania where as an 11-year old (Sean Giambrone) he lived with his gruff father Murray (Jeff Garlin), overprotective mother Beverly (Wendi McLendon-Covery), sister Erica (Hayley Orrantia), and brother Barry (Troy Gentile) and used his camcorder to document various events in their lives. Barry is turning sixteen and is disappointed to get a locket with his mother’s picture in it and an REO Speedwagon cassette rather than a car. Beverly’s father Albert “Pops” Solomon (George Segal) gets himself a new Firebird an intends to give Barry his old car… but Beverly thinks he is too unreliable. Erica feels she is entitled to the car. Adam has a great relationship with Pops who takes him to a diner to help teach him about life and girls, particularly Zoe McIntosh (Brec Bassinger) who works at the diner. Adam is impressed that she calls him “Alan” since it is close to his actual name. Pops wrecks his new car, and Beverly and Murray demand that he hand in his keys and stop driving. Murray finally agrees to give Barry driving lessons, but freaks out in the middle of town and demands that he turn the car over to him. Barry ends up sitting in the car for twenty minutes until it is towed away with him in it. Beverly embarrasses Adam in front of Zoe. Pops gives his Firebird keys to Erica. Murray convinces Beverly that sometimes one has to let go of their children. She gives Barry the keys to the station wagon, but on their first outing, he crashes it through the garage. Troy Winbush is Officer Puchinski. 6/29/16

• 002. Daddy Daughter Day – 10/1/2013
  • Despite Adam’s wishes, his mother insists on taking him clothes shopping for his first day in junior high. Meanwhile Murray is made increasingly uncomfortable about his Eric going through puberty, and finds it easier to just let her do whatever she wants rather than confront her. While Barry can’t get any money from his father, he hands it over to Erica when she tells him he needs money for ‘girl stuff.’ Adam’s first-day clothes end up being a sweatshirt with a train on it, so Pops takes him out to do some shopping on his own. He gets a more hip outfit, but Beverly takes her revenge by purposely shrinking it in the laundry. Beverly insists that Murray take Eric out for a daddy-daughter day, and they end up connecting at the roller rink by making for of Barry when they find that he, despite claiming to work on his rap music, actually goes rollerskating every weekend. However when Eric opens up completely to him, it proves to be way too much for Murray to handle. Murry ends up falling down and hurting his ankle. Beverly comes to rescue him and together they realize that their kids are growing up. Beverly agrees that Pops was right to take Adam shopping, and they make a last-minute visit to the mall to get him a new outfit, despite the store clerk (Karen Gonzalez) trying to lock them out. Murray explains to Eric that despite the disastrous day, he is still here for her. The whole family goes skating, and everyone is surprised with Beverly’s moves. 6/29/16
• 003. Mini Murray – 10/8/2013
  • Despite a lack of talent for basketball, Barry begs his parents to buy him a pair of Reebok Pump shoes for $175. They refuse but his father offers to get him a job at the Ottoman Empire furniture store where he works. Meanwhile Adam, who has been starving his mother of affection, convinces Pops to take him to see Poltergeist by telling him that it is The Great Mouse Detective. The film scares him so much that he starts resorting to sleeping with his mother. She enjoys the ‘snuggies’ so much that she sets up his clown doll and the television to keep him scared. Barry is dissatisfied with his first paycheck and demands to become a salesman working on commission. When he manages to sell a five-year old salmon loveseat to customer named Dale (Ben Zelevansky), his father realizes what a good salesman Barry is… and fires him because he wants more for him out of life. Barry revolts and moves all of the furniture out of his room as a protest. His father ends up making it up to him by buying him the shoes he wanted… which leads to Barry diving for a slam dunk and landing on the ground face first. Adam figures out what his mother is doing, and she makes it up by letting him watch Stripes, while he agrees to giving her a limited number of hugs per week. Cedric Yarbrough is Murray’s employee Vic. 8/7/16
• 004. Why’re You Hitting Yourself? – 10/15/2013
  • Beverly fancies herself the ultimate matchmaker, and plans to do so for her father who seems to be going on an endless stream of dates. Albert has no interest in being set up, and with Murray’s help, they come up with a list of requirements for Beverly to fulfill. She finds him a perfect woman named Sophia (Alex Meneses) to go on a double date with her and Murray, but he stands her up for a pair of girls Sandra (Renee Percy) and Lorraine (Rhoda Baldwin) at Dexter’s jazz club. Beverly eventually gets it out of him that he already had the perfect relationship with her mother. Although she promises to back up, she does arrange another ‘coincidental’ meeting with Sophia, and Albert appears smitten at first sight. Meanwhile amidst the constant torment of Adam by Barry, they bond when they find a channel of scrambled porn. Murray is suspicious when they get along, so he bribes Erica to watch them while they are out. Adam attempts to jam something into the cable box to unscramble the channel but ends up falling off the roof. Barry immediately blames the whole idea on Adam causing Adam to punch him in the face. Barry tries to enact revenge but can’t go through with it, and Erica keeps the whole thing a secret. Adam admits that he enjoyed bonding with his brother, who becomes a little more respectful of his tormenting of Adam. 8/7/16
• 005. The Ring – 10/22/2013
  • Adam assumes there is no romance between his parents, but has a romantic interest of his own in neighbor Dana Caldwell (Natalie Alyn Lind). When Murray is asked to clean out the garage, Barry and Erica discover a box of notes that he had written to his ex-fiancee Anita. They taunt him with the letters and show them to their mother, who at first laughs them off, but then heads to the library with Erica to look through the microfiche to see what she looked like. She hits the roof when she discovers that her engagement ring was the same one that Murray had given to Anita. She demands a $5000 replacement ring, which he buys for her just for spite. Using videos that he had taken, Adam shows his mother the little things that his father had done to show his love for her. She decides that she doesn’t want the ring and vows to sweet talk the jewelry store clerk Andy Secunda (Brian Huskey) to take it back. Adam seeks advice from Pops about how to win over Dana after he breaks her bike chain and cries in front of her when he drops a wrench on his foot. Pops suggests a grand gesture so Adam tries to serenade her with his boom box ala the movie Say Anything. He ends up dropping the boom box after he is yelled out by Dana’s father (Stephen Jared) and brother Ari (Jackson Odell). Even though his plan appeared to have failed, Dana brings the boom box back and asks him to go for a bike ride with her. Barry, who has been making up a girlfriend in Canada, asks Pops for girl advice as well. 10/13/16
• 006. Who Are You Going to Telephone? – 10/29/2013
  • Adam creates his Rubik’s Cube costume for trick or treat, but disappoints Pops, who has created Ghostbusters costumes for them, by deciding to go out with the ‘cool’ kid Evan Turner (Tanner Buchanan). Meanwhile Barry is all set to dress at the Incredible Hulk and attend the party of Lexy Bloom (Virginia Gardner), whom he plans to ask out. Erica is attending the party too and is excited to watch him make a fool of himself and get shot down, but when she tells their mother, Beverly insists on following them to the party dressed as a ghost and try and talk up Barry. When she gets unmasked she makes an even bigger fool of Barry by announcing to everyone that he is ‘delicious’. Erica takes pity on him and they decide that from now on they need to stick together. Evan and his friends Derek (Dawson Fletcher) and Kevin (Xihuaru Kilcher) have no interest in trick or treating, but rather playing destructive pranks around the neighborhood. When Murray lets all the candy get stolen and starts handing out coffee cake, the boys target Adam’s house, and he goes along with it. Murray is furious with him, but then starts to understand, and allows him to go back out trick or treating… this time with Pops, and Beverly tagging along in her ghost outfit. Danielle Andrade is Lexy’s friend. 10/14/16
• 007. Call Me When You Get There – 11/5/2013
  • Barry now has his license, but he also has a litany of rules that he must follow, including playing no music while he is driving, staying within a certain zone, and always calling when he gets to his destination. He blows off the call rule immediately when he drives to the movies, and not only does his mother call him at the movies, but Erica blasts him for not following the rules, as she always maintains the illusion of keeping the rules when more often than not, she is breaking them. Barry tries to follow this advice by telling his mom he is staying with a friend, then attending a keg party in the woods. However it backfires when he realizes he hasn’t tipped off the friend, nor has he any access to a phone. He runs away in a panic desperately looking for a phone, while Murray is forced to look for him. When he finds him, Barry is just as Beverly always feared: face down in the gutter. However Murray lies about all this and secretly ground both Barry and Erica. Meanwhile Pops is embarrassed about wearing a Life Alert medical alarm, and even more so when his date Miriam (Kathryn Leigh Scott) finds it. However not wearing it backfires when his back gives out and he indeed cannot get up. It takes Adam coming over to save him, and ultimately talk him into wearing it. The kids prank Murray into believing that the TV remote takes voice commands. Matthew Jones is the cop. Daniel Nguyen is Buddy. 1/15/17
• 008. The Kremps – 11/12/2013
  • Adam bonds with his new neighbor Chad Kremp (Jacob Hopkins) over Tron and Star Wars. Their family is quiet and gets along well, opposed to the boisterous Goldbergs, who manages to scare off Chad’s mother Virginia (Jennifer Irwin). Beverly won’t let it go, and corners them into coming to a cookout, which ends up held indoors when it rains. Meanwhile Erica and Barry are fighting over their phone usage, and Erica tells on Barry for calling a 976 number. Erica and Barry get into a major argument in front of them, because Barry has recorded Erica’s admonition of a crush on Chad’s brother Drew (Tyler Stokes), and it accidentally gets revealed. When Beverly uses the F-word when Murray falls asleep during their meal, it scares Virginia even further and she forbids Chad from playing with Adam. However, when Beverly comes to Virginia’s defense when she is swindled by the pastry baker (Mike Grief) at the supermarket, Virginia has a change of heart and allows the boys to play together again. Murray becomes friends with the father Charles (Tom Cavanagh), and Barry, inspired by how well the Kremps get along, arranges for Erica to be alone with Drew. The show’s producer Courtney Wieden is the voice of the 976 operator. Micki van Reingold is Ryan. 1/19/17
• 009. Stop Arguing & Start Thanking – 11/19/2013
  • As Beverly prepares Thanksgiving, she just wants some appreciation from her family. The boys are consumed with playing Battle Ball and Murray is dreading a visit from his never-do-well brother Marvin (Dan Fogler). Murray is surprised however when Marvin pays him back some of the money he owes him, but then again is disappointed shen Marvin asks him to invest the money in his new cosmetics company. A fight ensue which damages Marvin’s new Delorean. Meanwhile Adam beats Barry for the first time in a game of Battle Ball, then refuses to give him a rematch. Beverly tries to make peace with Marvin by giving him the $2000, which temporarily reconciles them until Murray finds out. Marvin finally admits that he always wanted Murray’s approval, and the two reconcile for good. Adam agrees to give a sullen Barry a rematch, so they reconcile as well. The family ends up giving Beverly the thanks she had hoped for. 4/20/17
• 010. Shopping – 12/3/2013
  • Erica gets a job at a department store, but when Beverly abuses the privilege of the employee discount, Erica’s boss Donald (Rizwan Manji) threatens to fire her. Erica puts a stop to it by planing an item in her mom’s bag, resulting in her getting picked up as a shoplifter by a security guard (Billy Malone). Meanwhile Barry feels like a bad luck charm, but when Adam and Pops convince him that his horseracing choices were lucky by coming in last, he is suddenly on top of the world. However when Barry ruins Adam’s high scoring game of Zelda, Adam spills the beans. Pops is able to convince Barry that he can make his own luck. Erica and her mother apologize to each other, and Beverly helps fix a taffeta dress for her that Erica has ironed and ruined… by buying her a new one. The family attempts to cook her a dinner as well, which comes out horribly. 4/20/17
• 011. Kara-Te – 12/10/2013
  • Emulating The Karate Kid, Barry considers himself a karate expert, and tries out for the talent show to impress Lexy. The teacher Mr. Andre Glascott (Tim Meadows) doesn’t accept his karate routine fearing that the other kids will be merciless toward him. Beverly intervenes and threatens the principal, who then lets him in. Adam helps Barry choreograph the routine, which is still terrible, but Beverly still thinks it is wonderful. While Pops tries to talk Erica into singing in the show, Murray tries to talk Barry into doing something else in the show to avoid embarrassment. When he won’t drop out, Murray goes to the school and forces Glascott to drop Barry from the show again. Murray and Beverly both wind up at the school, only to find Pops there trying to force Glascott to get Erica in the show. Glascott throws up his hands and says whoever wants in can be in – and how much he hates his life and doesn’t care about the show. They hold a family meeting, and Adam convinces Barry to go on with the show, but before going on, he realizes that the kids will make fun of him and drops out. Erica skips the show, and finds that Pops has bought her an electric guitar. She shows up at the school and takes Barry’s place and performs Hit Me with Your Best Shot, to the rousing cheers of the crowd. Barry joins her on the stage and does surprisingly well, even breaking the board – which Adam has substituted for balsa wood – much to the delight of Beverly, and especially Murray. 12/26/17
• 012. You’re Under Foot – 1/7/2014
  • With most of Murray’s friends in Florida for the winter, Beverly is getting tired of Pops hanging around the house and forces Murray to take him to work with him to shadow Vic. Pops ends up making some promotional changes to the store, much to Murray’s irritation. Murray gets even more irritated when he returns the next day, and tries to convince Murray to run an old black and white commercial for the Ottoman Empire that he had filmed years earlier. Murray convinces him that they can’t do a commercial, but the next day he’s brought in a camera crew and is ready to film a commercial in a straight jacket, reminding Murray that he still owns 51% of the business. Later Pops feels bad and gives Murray 2% of the ownership so that he is now the majority owner. Meanwhile Adam brings Dana up to his room and shows him his magic tricks, Transformers, and other toys, which ends with Dana awkwardly leaving. Erica and Barry coach Adam to lose his toys if he wants to impress Dana. Adam brings most of his toys over to Dana’s house to give them to her younger brother Dougie (Casey Simpson), but threatens Dougie to treat them well. When Beverly finds out that Adam has given away his toys, she grounds his siblings for a year and heads over the Caldwell’s house to steal the toys back, but is caught in the act by their mother (Barbara Alyn Woods). Dana brings over the rest of the toys, and admits she only ran out because she thought they were going to kiss. Adam is so happy to see hit toys, that he doesn’t take the obvious opportunity to kiss her. 12/26/17
• 013. The Other Smother – 1/14/2014
  • Beverly has been competing for years with another school mother named Betsy Rubenstone (Annie Mumolo), and feels like she’s on the losing side more than ever as they come upon the college fair. Betsy tips off Beverly that there is an unopposed opening for Student Council Treasurer, so Beverly encourages an uninterested Barry to run. However Beverly then convinces her son Michael (Parker Harris) to run against him. The begin competing with Betsy making delicious cookies to hand out, and Beverly handing out berries that eventually get thrown at Barry. Not even Barry wants to run… until Beverly tells him that he’ll be handling the money. Now interested, he is aghast when he finds that his mom has put up huge posters of him from his awkward age. After telling Beverly that she’s a failure, he goes on to win the contest just as Beverly is throwing in the towel to Betsy, by delivering a speech about interfering mothers. Meanwhile Adam is furious with his father when his refusal to admit to Andre (Martin Starr) the clerk that he returned the video Slap Shot eventually gets him barred from the video store He finally returns the video, but refuses to pay the late fees, which are more than the video itself. Eventually after realizing how badly he has disappointed Adam, he gets him a pre-paid membership for fifty rentals. Pops finds out that Erica has been faking her extra-curricular activities, and trying to keep up with the lie proves more stressful than when she actually participated, recounting the day she was forced to represent Senegal in the mock U.N. Once Pops points out to her that this is even more stressful, she decides to return to her nerdy friends and re-join. Shannon McClung is the college recruiter. Peter Ngo is Arnie. Meghan Deanna Smith is a debate club student.  8/24/18
• 014. You Opened the Door – 1/21/2014
  • Dana asks Adam if he’s going to the dance, and asks him to save a dance for her. Adam asks Pops, Barry, and Erica for help learning to dance, and when none of those work out, he turns to his mother. Unfortunately this ‘opens the door’ for further interference from her, including chaperoning the dance dressed in the same clothes as Adam. Meanwhile this also leads to a discussion between Beverly and Murray about him teaching the birds and the bees, and it comes out that he never had the conversation with Barry. He avoids it like the plague, but when Barry asks if he can get a girl pregnant by kissing her, he knows he has to have the talk. Erica tries to assist Adam by keeping their mom busy scrapbooking so she’ll miss the dance, but she gets it finished so quickly – and unexpectedly brings an emotional Erica to tears – that she’s able to make the dance anyway. Adam finally reaches his limit and asks him mom to leave, but when it turns out that Dana’s mother is there too, and embarrassing her, Adam brings her back to join Dana’s mom on the floor. This leads to all the kids getting on the floor, and he gets his dance with Dana. Beverly even leaves so that Adam can slow dance with her. Murray finds out that Pops already had the sex talk with Barry, and that Barry was just messing with him. Murray decides to try and have better communications with his kids, starting with teaching Barry how to open a bottle without an opener. Michael Rubenstone is the teacher Mr. Burkhardt. 8/25/18
• 015. Muscles Mirsky – 2/4/2014
  • Beverly and Erica are eternally at odds because Beverly doesn’t trust her, while Eric simply isn’t trustworthy. After some fighting, Beverly promises to trust her, but then reads her diary and discovers that Erica plans to try the ‘crack rock.’ When Beverly confronts her, Erica informs her that she merely wrote that to find out if Beverly reads her diary. Once again they make another pact to trust and be trustworthy, but Eric quickly sneaks off to attend a college toga party with Lainey Lewis (AJ Michalka). Beverly quickly discovers that Erica took her sheet with her, and thus her cover is blown that she’s not merely at the movies. She and Murray head out to bring her home, and find upon their arrival, that Erica is in tears because she wasn’t having a good time. The trust issues continue but with much improvement. Meanwhile Barry brings Lexy Bloom over to study but Beverly won’t trust them to study in his room. After her run-ins with Erica, Beverly considers and says they can go to his room… only to find that Lexy has zero interest in that. Barry warns Adam that his platonic friend Emmy “Muscles” Mirsky (Stephanie Katherine Grant) will not always remain just a friend, and that sexual tension will soon take over. Adam begins to believe he is correct, and consults Pops, who encourages him to watch When Harry Met Sally. Horrified that the characters fall in love in the film, Adam decides the only way to prove or disprove their feelings is to kiss. Emmy almost agrees, then runs out and tells Adam that he ruined their friendship. After watching the movie some more, Adam gets the idea to run to Emmy and confess that he’s not in love with her, but that he considers her his friend. This does the trick and they go worm hunting in the rain. Justene Alpert is the sorority girl. Austin Lyon is the frat guy. 5/23/19
• 016. Goldbergs Never Say Die! – 3/4/2014
  • Adam is a huge fan of the movie The Goonies, so when he finds an old map of Jenkintown in the attic, he attempts to recreate their film adventure by recruiting Erica and Barry, Emmy, and Dana, each to represent one of the film’s characters, and in order to represent the Asian character Data, his acquaintance Dave Kim (Kenny Ridwan). Erica and Barry see this as an opportunity to humiliate Adam, so they set it up for him to immediately locate ‘the treasure’, a small brown box with the sentence “Adam Goldberg is a giant nerd.” Adam gets his revenge by distributing his old video tapes of Erica singing about her love for Christian Slater, and Barry working out with their mom. Meanwhile Pops is being reckless with his money, often buying food for everyone at the House of Waffles. Worse yet, Beverly finds out he closed out his safety deposit box that had all of her mother’s jewels. Pops claims he gave it to her, so Beverly ransacks the house to locate it. But Pops confides in Adam that he hid it somewhere but can’t remember where, only possessing a vague handwritten clue on a piece of sheet music. Adam reassembles his Goonies and they are able to follow the clues to find the jewels hidden in an old piano in storage at his father’s warehouse. Pops finally confesses to Beverly that he never gave her the jewels, and promises to try and watch his money… then buys everyone at the House of Waffles Bloody Marys. 5/23/19
• 017. Lame Gretzky – 3/11/2014
  • Adam has been playing hockey for several years because he knows that his father wants him to, but, in contrast to Barry who is quite good, Adam has never scored a goal. He does finally get his big moment and scores… into the wrong goal. Murray tries to relate to Adam by filming an alien scene with him for a movie Adam is making, but gets immediately irritated when Adam gets ‘ketchup  blood’ on his shirt. Adam doubles down on his hockey efforts by getting Barry to coach him. Barry convinces Adam that he needs to be a ‘goon’ on the rink and to fight off other players while the good players score. Adam takes this to heart and immediately picks a fight on the rink, resulting in him getting dragged by his mask and thrown into the goal. Barry finally convinces Murray that hockey isn’t Adam’s thing and gives him the sage advice of trying harder to relate to Adam on his own level. Murray participates in the alien film again, buying some spare shirts to take the ketchup brunt. Meanwhile Beverly is pushing Erica to do well on her SATs for college entry, which proves to be successful when she takes a practice test and scores a 1280. Erica realizes with a 1300, she can get into Stanford, so she begins to study even harder. Beverly immediately fears that Eric will move to California, so she tries to sabotage Erica’s score by offering her concert tickets, trying to put her to sleep with warm milk and turkey, and giving her flashcards with fake vocabulary words on them. Erica catches on and writes an essay using all the phony words, and then berating her mother for what she did. After a big blow up, with Beverly vowing to visit Erica even if she attends college on the moon, Erica scores a 1300 on her SATs, which both makes her mother proud and scared to death. Kate Hess is the S.A.T. proctor. Joshua Lassman is Steve Schmitz. 2/7/20
• 018. For Your Own Good – 3/18/2014
  • A creature of habit, Murray blows a gasket when Beverly replaces his chair, ostensibly for his back but really because it doesn’t match the living room. He retaliates by getting rid of the oven and installing a microwave, to which responds by getting rid of his underwear and causing him to go commando. When he then gets rid of her hairspray, she has to turn to Erica to style her hair, and she ends up burning off a chunk of her bangs with a crimper before she has a P.T.A. meeting. As the fight escalates, Beverly is forced to admit that she got rid of the chair for her own good, so she goes to the fraternity of the buyer Nitrous (Dustin Ybarra), and offers her services as a ‘mother’ to the boys to get it back. Murray is delighted to have his chair back, and Beverly returns to her old hairstyle. Meanwhile Adam is getting picked on by a bully named JC Spink (Cooper Roth) on the bus, so he talks Barry into riding the bus and defending him. It starts out that way, but soon Barry becomes the new bully on the bus to everyone including Adam, who then organizes all the kids including his wimpy friend Tyler Stansfield (Mason Cook) on the busy to throw Barry off. J.C. Spink is Joe the bus driver. 2/8/20
• 019. The President’s Fitness Test – 4/1/2014
  • As the last kid always picked for the teams in gym, Adam is horrified that the gym teacher Coach Rick Mellor (Bryan Callen) will be administering President Reagan’s Presidential Fitness Test, and worse yet, that he will have to do a pull-up. Beverly offers to write a letter for him stating that he has Osgood Schlatter Disease and will be unable to participate, although Murray wants Adam to take the test. The coach calls Adam’s folks in because he thinks Adam wrote the note, but when Beverly admits to have written it, the Coach tells her that she’ll need a letter from President Reagan to get him out of it. Beverly aims to do just that and visits Kyle Schnitz (David Hornsby) in the Comptroller’s office Pennsylvania’s State House and by going through various channels does in fact come up with a letter with a Presidential seal excusing Adam from class. Murray however talks Adam into attempting one pull-up and tells him a story about he avoided swimming classes all of his life and as a result, can’t swim. Adam takes his advice and manages to eke out one pullup. He later gives Murray a swimming lesson. Meanwhile Erica is visited by her French penpal Fanny Martins de Barros (Bella Dayne), and gives Barry incorrect translations to his come-ons to Fanny indicating that he smells and pees his bed. Pops intervenes and puts a stop to it, and Barry is saddened that Erica ruined it for him. On the day she leaves, Erica purposely translates a thank-you letter that Fanny left for the Goldberg parents, and tells Barry that it says how much she liked him. He rushes to the airport, gets his car towed, makes it through security, just to see her. Fanny laughs him off but gives him the traditional French cheek kisses, causing Barry to exclaim that he got ‘French kissed’ twice. Sean Conroy is a Sky Cap. 5/18/20
• 020. You’re Not Invited – 3/8/2014
  • Beverly is planning for Adam’s birthday and allowing him to take his friends for Laser Tag. Murray however is more excited about Geraldo Rivera opening Al Capone’s vault on TV that night. He has forgotten the birthday, and Adam is angry about it. Pops gets on Murray’s case and tells him to go buy his son a birthday gift for once. Adam is also frustrated because he is unable to find an opening to finally kiss his crush Dana. Barry advises Adam to scrap the Laser Tag plans and have a make-out party in the basement complete with oysters, soft cheeses, and a new valour shirt. He asks Beverly to nix the cake and her presence at his party. Barry acts as DJ and empties an entire quart of milk into his stomach so they can have a bottle to play ‘spin the bottle’. Erica goes downstairs on Beverly’s behalf to bring them Bagel Bites, and finds out that they are having a make out party. Adam rushes upstairs and tells his mother that he changed his mind and that he wants a Bert and Ernie cake, and then blackmails Erica with information about things she has done with her friends, so that she doesn’t tell her mom what is going on. Murray nearly spoils the party when he comes downstairs wearing underwear with a gift he bought for Adam: his own Laser Tag set. Adam solidly rejects him for interrupting. When Beverly returns from the store, Erica tells her that she probably needs to check what is going on downstairs. She stealthily sneaks down and hides in the closet. Adam breaks the milk bottle, so they start to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. Adam takes Dana into the closet to kiss, but they realizes Beverly is in there and it ruins everything. Dana is ready to leave, but then decides the kids should all play Laser Tag. After Adam saves Dana from being shot, they share a lengthy kiss making this his best birthday ever. He gives his mother the hug she always wanted. Murray foregoes watching Geraldo to enjoy watching the kids play tag. Pops is disappointed with the results of Geraldo’s findings. Barry attempts to use the basement make out den with Lexi his friends the next day. 5/18/20
• 021. The Age of Darkness – 4/29/2014
  • Erica and her boyfriend Drew Kremp take their relationship to the next level and she accepts his varsity jacket, putting her over the edge into a great mood. Unfortunately when he dumps her, she reverts into an ‘age of darkness’. Beverly can’t stand not being able to stop her sadness, even reverting to talking to Drew’s mother Virginia. Meanwhile Adam and Barry go to the video arcade where Barry discovers a brand new game called Punch Out!! He quickly becomes addicted and starts scrounging for quarters to play more and more. When Erica and Beverly find out that Drew is dating Tracy Sullivan, Beverly decides to take action and gets her a date with a college boy named Bruce Kaczander (Luke Benward), who winds up getting arrested when he tries to buy alcohol for Erica and her friends. Pops and Adam try to hold an intervention for Barry that includes the two of them and school geek Roger McFadden (Joey Luthman). Barry pretends he agrees and promises to get better, but then steals Adam’s Millenium Falcon model and sells it at a pawn store, even though the proprietor (Terrell Lee) will only give him $3. Adam gets revenge by pulling the plug on Barry’s greatest game yet. Barry finally realizes his addiction and trades his signed Moses Malone jersey to get back Adam’s Millenium Falcon for him. Pops buys him a real punching bag to replace his video game addiction. Murray finally is able to give Erica a pep talk that cheers her up. She takes on more step of smashing a trash can on Drew’s car, and soon is able to toss Drew’s photo into the trash. Jessica McKenna is the waitress. 8/28/20
• 022. A Wrestler Named Goldberg – 5/6/2014
  • Beverly won’t let Barry join any type of sports, but when Coach Mellor sees him going at with a candy machine, he talks him into joining the varsity wrestling team. Murray is all for it, but he has to lie to his mother and tell her that she is rehearsing the play Annie. Meanwhile Return of the Jedi is opening in the theaters, and Adam blackmails Eric to take him to get tickets, by threatening to release an old video of her dressed up as Princess Leia playing with lightsabers with a young Adam (Hayden Michael Cruz Haas). As they wait in line, Erica mostly has contempt for the other buffs in the line, including Obi-Shawn (Shawn Crosby) and his Yoda puppet and Tauntaun Todd (Thomas Lennon). Although she starts to enjoy herself, when Adam runs to the bathroom, she leaves with her friends causing him to lose his spot in line. Barry has to juggle his wrestling practice, during which he tries to develop his WWF character ‘backstory’, and practice Annie with his mother. Eventually she finds out when she goes to the theater, and demands that he stop wrestling. Adam is furious with Erica and says he no longer likes Star Wars and rips up his poster, lamenting that Erica used to treat him like a friend rather than just a dumb kid brother. Erica arranged to go on a date with the theater manager in order to sneak in her and Adam to the next show. She even dresses as Princess Leia. Barry has his first meet, and Beverly tries to stop him from wrestling against his opponent (Torrey Vogel). Beverly resorts to fighting him on the mat and taking him down, all in front of Lexi Bloom. Beverly, Murray, and Barry discuss this in the locker room and she eventually sees the error of her way and lets him wrestle. Barry soundly defeats his opponent, even seeming to impress Lexi Bloom, until he tries to attack the opponent with a chair. 8/28/20
• 023. Livin’ on a Prayer – 5/13/2014
  • The kids are constantly surprised when Murray drops hints of things he’s experienced in the past: being in the Army, being in a plane crash, and knowing Lou Reed for example. The latest was that he had a 25-year free throw record at his old school that was just broken, and they’ve invited him to come to the game and the banquet following. He is reluctant to go, but Beverly talks him into it. He turns out to be thrilled by the recognition when he walks in the game, and for the first time, he gets excited by something from the past. But things turn sour when they ask him to throw a free throw and he shoots it granny style, coming short of the basket altogether. Instead of staying for the banquet, he and Beverly drive home in shame. He admits that he doesn’t talk about the past because it was awesome, and now he is nothing. Meanwhile Barry is disappointed when Lexi Bloom signs his yearbook and thinks he’s the foreign exchange student Gustav (Jimmy Bellinger). He decides to throw a party while his parents go to the game and banquet, assuming they will be getting a hotel. Pops volunteers to watch them, but lets them go ahead with the party. When only Gustave and the nerdy Roger McFadden show up, Pops gets Erica to invite her friends. The party quickly turns wild, when people start showing up that no one knows. They all wind up going upstairs and putting on Beverly’s sweaters. Erica tries to end it, much to Barry’s dismay, but then she points out that Lexi is making out with Ari Caldwell. Barry goes outside to mope, but it is Erica’s friend Lainey who is able to cheer him up and convince him to go back inside… just as his parents return home. Barry is able to convince Murray that this party is as close as he will ever get to any high school ‘glory days’, so Murray give him ten more minutes. Barry uses it to his full advantage to dress up and and dance to Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer, captivating the entire audience, including Lexi. Lainey helps him along by trying to make Lexi jealous and plants two full-on kisses on him. Despite being grounded for the entire summer, Barry considers it the best night of his life. The next morning Nitrous wanders up from the basement in Beverly’s sweater. She makes him breakfast before throwing him out. Murray gets more involved in teaching Barry to play basketball in the driveway. Keith Pillow is Principal Matthews. Paul McKinney is the reporter.  12/19/20

SEASON 2

• 024. Love Is a Mix Tape – 9/24/2014
  • After being away at Space Camp all Summer, Adam returns home and wants to declare his feelings for Dana Caldwell, so he makes her a mixtape. Unfortunately Beverly finds it and thinks it is for her. Adam doesn’t have the heart to tell her, and also relishes the special treatment she starts to give him… including offering to take him to see the rated R movie Die Hard. Adam makes a copy of the tape and gives one to Dana as well. It wins her over, and when they attend a laser light show together, she tells him that he is a great boyfriend. Things take a turn when Beverly picks them up and starts playing her the mixtape in the car. Adam comes clean and tells Dana that he made the tape for her, but since his mother is a lunatic, he had to spare her feelings. Both women become angry with him; Dana storms out of the car, and Beverly starts giving Erica the special treatment and Boo Berry Crunch. Meanwhile Barry finds out that Erica has a fake ID and demands to know where she got it. She takes him to see Gus (David Spade) at the photomat, and he makes one for Barry, dubbing him as Carlos. Barry can’t help but showing it all over school, and vows to provide the alcohol for Dwayne Martin’s (Tom Williamson) party. However he immediately gets the ID taken from him by Coach Mellor. Barry first tries to get Murray to buy the beer for him, then he steals Murray’s ID and tries to buy it himself. Terence (Mike Hagerty) at the convenience store isn’t buying it since he knows Murray, so Barry winds up buying hero sandwiches to take the party. Murray shows up at the party before he goes in, and pretends he is stopping him from bringing in the beer, saving Barry’s reputation. Adam finally meets Dana at the next laser light show and confesses his true feelings for her, telling her that he doesn’t need to say it with a mix tape. Pops has talked to Beverly and told her not to be offended… and also not to interfere with Adam and Dana. She does anyway, and puts Adam and Dana’s name in the laser lights, but this time it works out okay and Adam wins her back. Pops visits Gus and arranges to get his own fake ID for unknown reasons. 12/19/20
• 025. Mama Drama – 10/1/2014
  • Adam is excited when his school is doing Jesus Christ Superstar as their play, so with boundless enthusiasm, he tries out for the role of Jesus. Whereas Dana does in fact get the role of Mary, the part of Jesus goes to Dave Kim, while Adam is stuck with the role of Todd the Apostle, a part that his teacher Miss Susan Cinoman (Ana Gasteyer) made up to accommodate 30 extra students playing apostles. Adam is beside himself with grief and agrees to let his mother intervene. She first barges into Miss Cinoman’s classroom, and then demands that Principal Earl Ball (Stephen Tobolowsky) allow Adam to put on his own rival play, The Starlight Express, a disco extravaganza on roller skates. Beverly forces Erica to join the cast, and they pick up a few of the other show’s rejects. Meanwhile, Barry is furious with Murray for leaving a hockey game early which causes them to miss a goal scored by the goalie. He can’t get past his anger and steals the TV remote and know so that Murray will miss The Love Boat and Fantasy Island crossover. Murray tries taking Pops to the game, followed by his co-worker Vic, but he misses Barry, and finally promises that they can stay to the end of the game. They consequently get caught in two hours of traffic, but Murray enjoys time with him. When Adam accuses Dana of being a spy from the other play, Beverly finally realizes that her praise of Adam has gone to his head. With Erica’s help, they tell Adam that no one sees him as a major talent except Beverly and convince shim to rejoin the other play as Todd the Apostle. Maddy Caddell is Denise. Brice Fisher is Dante. Madison Hu is Debbie. 4/13/21 
• 026. The Facts of Bleeping Life – 10/8/2014
  • Barry and Adam have formed a garage band, and despite only playing Twisted Sister’s We’re Not Gonna Take It over and over, have plans to be a huge success. Meanwhile, Beverly and her friends Janice DeMarco (Iris Braydon) and Virginia Kremp are enthralled with the Royal Wedding, so shen Virginia mentions that she and her husband repeated their vows, Beverly wants to do the same. She starts making plans and tells Murray all he needs to do is to write his vows. Adam and Barry convince Pops to hire them for $200 to play at the wedding, so he grants their wish. When Erica and her friend Lainey find out about them getting paid, they force their way into the band themselves. Since Barry is smitten with Lainey, he not only allows it, but agrees to play Eternal Flame, lets them name the band The Gal Pals, and then forces Adam out of the group. When Beverly corners Murray and makes him tell her what he’s come up with, he can only quote the theme song to the TV sitcom Family Ties. Beverly is in love with the words, and brags about them to Virginia, who then informs her of the show’s theme. She angrily responds by quoting her vows to him: the lyrics to The Facts of Life theme song. Angry at his apparent lack of interest, she calls it all off. Erica and Lainey throw Barry out of the group, so he reunites with Adam, and they have a stand-off with The Gal Pals. Barry tells Lainey that the music has to come first, to which she responds by telling him that she has no interest in him. Murray consoles Barry by showing him how much his mother was out of his league, but he still managed to get her. The next morning, he creates his own wedding scenario by having the kids play Eternal Flame, having Pops walk Beverly down the aisle, and reciting his own vows, which makes her instantly forgive him. Barry tells Lainey that he vows to win her over, to which she replies that it will never happen… but walks away smiling at the prospect. 4/13/21
• 027. Shall We Play a Game? – 10/22/2014
  • Adam explains that his mother has never been cool, but she starts stooping to whole new levels of uncoolness when she goes to the mall to buy a t-shirt with her family on it. There she runs into Erica and her friends Jill Rubin (Brittany Underwood) and Lainey Lewis, who are hanging out with Jill’s mother Louise (Gillian Vigman). Beverly is furious to find this out, so she tries to up her coolness game by dressing like Madonna. Murray sees how upset she is, so he orders Erica to spend the day with her mother getting fondue. Erica arranges for Lainey and Jill to come get her and tell her she needs to come work in a soup kitchen for extra credit. Beverly knows she is lying, so she walks out on Erica and goes to hangout with her father, where she gets incredibly drunk. Meanwhile. Barry is hanging out with his new friends Geoff ‘Madman’ Schwartz (Sam Lerner), ‘Naked’ Rob Smith (Noah Munck), and Andy Cogan (Matt Bush) who have dubbed themselves the JTP – Jenkintown Posse. Adam thinks they do fun stuff like hang out with girls and steal the rival school Germantown’s mascot, so when the JTP see the movie WarGames and ask Adam to hack into the school to change their grades, Adam says he will do it if they let him in the JTP. He quickly finds out that hacking isn’t as easy as it looks, so he resorts to another plan: tell the guys that he needs answers from the class test in order to complete the hacking, which is tricking them into studying. He then spends the day with them, and finds that they aren’t wild or fun, and are too afraid to talk to girls. However, they believe that Adam has gotten them B’s on the test, so they ask him to do it again. Adam winds up telling him how lame they really area, so the JTP kick Barry out of the group. He decides to help Barry get back into good graces with the guys, so he uses his computer to print fake hall passes for Germantown. They use them to get past a Germantown teacher (Lee Wesley) and they steal the live mascot falcon. Barry then brings it to the school and gives credit to the entire JTP, who gladly accept him back. Barry then decides to smash a toaster with Adam alone, without the other JTP members. Beverly comes home after her night of drinking, and a worried Erica nurses her back to health. Beverly is appreciative, and Erica realizes that her mom does things like this for them every day. Beverly later comes home with multiple items that she’s had faces printed onto. 8/7/21
• 028. Family Takes Care of Beverly – 10/29/2014
  • It’s Halloween, and Pops starts a fire when he tries to light up his shots, and winds up getting evicted from his apartment. Meanwhile, urban legends run rampant, and Barry smacks the Pop Rocks out of Erica’s hand when she almost mixes them with soda – which legend dictates will cause your stomach to explode, as it apparently did for Life Cereal’s Mikey. Beverly wants to move Pops into the house because she insists that family always takes care of family… even though it is Murray and Pop’s preference that he go to the Shady Willows retirement village. Pops starts to defy virtually every rule that Murray comes up with, up to and including puncturing his waterbed. Finally, Murray defies Beverly and takes him to Shady Willows. Beverly admits that she wants to honor the family mantra so that her kids will take care of her in her old age. She doesn’t think Erica or Barry will be up to it, so she tells Adam that the job is his. He becomes so annoyed by it, that he moves in to Pops’ new room. He loves it there and starts to turn into an old man by the time Beverly brings him back home after two hours. Barry insists that since he saved Erica’s life, she is bound by the Bushido Code of the Samurai, she must repay him, and he wants that repayment in the form of her convincing Lainey to go out with him. She finally agrees to do it to get him off her back, but she later tells Barry that no matter what she said, Lainey wasn’t interested. Barry decides to take matters into his own hands, and has the JTP back him up to sing her a rap song in the hallway. Lainey finds it embarrassing, but tells him that Erica never asked her to go out with him. As Barry is confronting Erica, he begins to get stomach pains and is taken to the hospital. He initially thinks it is because he ate Pop Rocks and soda, but it was because he set a record of eating candy bars to impress Lainey. Barry now thinks he owes Erica, but instead she brings Lainey to see him in the hospital. It’s one of the best days of his life, until Beverly shows up and embarrasses him about his clogged bottom. Adam tells Beverly that he’ll be sure to find room for her if she has to move in with him and his family. Later, Beverly saves Barry when he chokes on his taco, and reminds Barry about the Bushido Code and how he can repay her with hugs and kisses. Deirdre Devlin is the newscaster. 8/7/21
• 029. Big Baby Ball – 11/12/2014
  • Barry has a tradition of winning board games around the Goldberg house. One day, however, Pops introduces a new game known as Trivial Pursuit. Although he excels at the Sport topic, he can scarcely get any of the other questions correct. He vows to be able to beat Erica, but she catches him when he tries to memorize the cards. He then invests his own game called Barry*Nopoly, but when she draws a Barry card and has to arm wrestle him, she is able to go ‘over the top’ and beat him yet again. The completely deflates him, and makes him admit that he is a loser who has nothing, while she has everything going for her. Meanwhile, Adam is struggling in gym class when Mr. Meller assigns them to play Dodgeball. He comes home with a welt on the side of his face, causing Beverly to march to the school and demand that the game isn’t appropriate. This only causes Meller to double down, and introduce a new game called Baby Ball, which is Adam against the entire class. This time Beverly goes straight to the Principal Ball, and causes Mr. Meller to be fired. Murray later finds Meller painting house numbers on the street, and invites him to come work at his furniture store. It doesn’t take long before Meller is driving him crazy, with his constant energy and cussing at the customers. He even comes to Murray’s house, where he tells Bev he admires her for never backing down. Although Beverly is initially angry at Murray for him fraternizing with the enemy, she eventually goes to see Principal Ball and gets him job back… on the condition that Bev stay out of the school for one year. She agrees to this, even though on a technicality, she maintains she can still show up at the Ball house to air her grievances. Erica and Pop fix the next game of Trivial Pursuit so that all of Barry’s questions come from the Junior Edition, and they are able to let him win. He reclaims his title as house champion, and starts playing games again, even if it means he has to arm wrestle his mother. Nicholas Massouh is the homeowner who doesn’t want his numbers painted. Heather Moiseve is Murray’s customer Kerry Doherty. 2/5/22
• 030. A Goldberg Thanksgiving – 11/19/2014
  • Beverly is looking forward to her traditional Thanksgiving prep, while the others are ready to re-visit other traditions like Pops’s drunken toast about old girlfriends, Adam’s inane questions about football, and the fight between Murray and his brother Marvin. Finally, Beverly will inevitably begin Jazzercize so she can justify eating all she wants. When Erica criticizes the tradition, Beverly tells Erica she couldn’t handle the Jazzercize class. They make a bet to this effect, and if Erica wins, she won’t have to participate in the Thanksgiving traditions, and if she loses, she’ll have to attend the classes for several weeks. Meanwhile, Marvin arrives, and this time says that he can afford to stay in his own hotel. Murray gets irritated with Adam’s interest in video games, but Marvin is into them as well and they play for hours, and then go see the movie The Wizard. Marvin convinces Adam that he has a future in video game tournaments and gives him a Power Glove. Murray starts to resent that Adam and Marvin are connecting, so he tries to play games with Adam, and winds up breaking his new glove, causing Adam to storm out. He also reads the riot act to Marvin who storms out as well. Murray finds out that he didn’t go to his hotel… because he never had one. He had been staying in their basement the entire time. Erica easily wins the bet, as she is young enough to keep up with the exercising. They wind up going double or nothing by having a power walking contest around the neighborhood. Barry acts as the official, and he declares Erica the winner, meaning Erica doesn’t even have to show up for Thanksgiving. Beverly says that she injured her groin in the race. Pops has a talk with her and tells Erica that her mother lost her mother when she was seventeen, and all of these traditions help keep her mother’s memory alive. With Beverly out of action, Barry had volunteered to help with the cooking, but he made a mess of everything he touches, and even used Adam’s glove to clean out the turkey. In the chaos, Beverly realized that she had been faking her injury. Erica still feels guilty, so she returns and they are able to put together a great Thanksgiving, even with a late start. Pops doesn’t mention his old girlfriends this year but pays tribute to his late wife. Sean Samuels is the Jazzercise instructor. 2/5/22
• 031. I Rode a Hoverboard – 12/3/2014
  • Adam breaks his arm while video recording himself dancing in his room to George Michael’s song Faith. Barry and Eric convince him to make up another story, so he doesn’t sound so ridiculous, so he claims that he fell off a hoverboard as seen in Back to the Future II. Naturally his friends don’t believe him, but when he swears on his friendship with Emmy Mirsky, his best friend with whom he shares all of his secrets. Because of the friendship swear, she backs Adam up, even getting herself suspended by giving their teacher Mr. Woodburn (Dan Bakkedahl) grief when he says that hoverboards are not scientifically possible. He challenges Adam to bring in video of the hoverboard and says that he’ll give the entire class an A if he does. Meanwhile, Murray discovers the new China Garden, where Adam’s friend Dave Kim’s mother (Suzy Nakamura). Beverly starts to feel offended when the family enjoys the food so much, so she asks Mrs. Kim to ban her family from coming. When Mrs. Kim refuses, Beverly invites Dave over to her house to serve him shrimp parmesan, which he falls in love with. As the walls start to close in around Adam, Erica tries to train Adam how to lie effectively, and never let up. He tries creating his own hoverboard and then hangs from a rope and has Erica film it. Emmy catches him in the act and becomes furious that she stood up for him when he lied to her. Murray and the guys in the family are furious with Beverly for getting them banned from the China Garden, as she tries to lure them back in with cheeseburger meatloaf. Erica comes up with a waiver for Adam to present stating that he can’t talk about the hoverboard, but in order to regain Emmy’s friendship, he shows the video of him dancing to Faith. She still is angry at him, but he tells her that since they are more than friends, and are more like family, she has no choice but to forgive him. She recants and comes and visits him in the treehouse. After Beverly gives a lecture about how she needs to feel needed by cooking for them, they apologize and admit that they absolutely need her. The compromise and start having Friday night dinners at the China Garden. Later, Dave Kim catches Erica dancing around her room and singing to Faith, and he promises, in fact insists, that he keep it to himself. Marcus Toji is the waiter. 6/13/22
• 032. The Most Handsome Boy on the Planet – 12/10/2014
  • Barry and his friends are Christmas shopping at the mall, where Barry has found the perfect butt mug, when he is approached by a con artist model scout named John Calabasas (Rob Huebel). Erica knows it is a scam, but Beverly is quick to give him $100 for the fee, since she knows he’s the most handsome boy in the world. Meanwhile, Adam has his father take him and Emmy to see E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial at the theater, where they run into Murray’s father Ben “Pop-Pop” (Paul Sorvino) passing by the line. Their interactions is incredibly brief, and he refers to Adam as Barry. Murray is irritated when he finds out that he and Emmy have already seen the film multiple times, but during the film, they catch Murray bawling his eyes out, which greatly embarrasses Adam. Erica tries to convince her mother that the modeling is all a scam, so she says she’ll go down to check it out. Calabasas then collects $100 from Beverly and he makes them a mother/son modeling team, much to Barry’s displeasure. Adam tells Eric and Pops about Murray crying. They don’t believe him, until Adam gets him to nearly break into tears in front of them. Adam surmises that he might be crying because of his absent father Pop-Pop. Adam invites Pop-Pop over to try and get him back together with Murray. He pretends he is doing a video report by interviewing them, but all Pop-Pop can talk about is the negative turn his life took when Murray talked him out of investing in 7-Up. Adam then takes Pop-Pop to see E.T. by luring him in with free popcorn. Barry is furious with his mother for ruining his model career, while Erica still keeps trying to convince her that it is all a scam. Finally, she shows her mother photos that she once took when Calabasas lured her in, finally convincing her when she shows her the awkward photos she posed for. Pop-Pop is not only thoroughly unmoved by E.T., but sides with the F.B.I. Adam then realizes he is a horrible person, and finally corrects him and tells him that his name is Adam. Beverly tries to tell Barry that the modeling gig was a scam, but when Barry apologizes and tells him that they can model together again, Beverly decides to make him a model no matter what it takes. When Murray finds out how Pop-Pop called Adam a moron, he goes over to his house with Adam and demands an apology. He then calls him a miserable man, and that he’s sorry he’ll miss out on his grandkids lives like he missed out on his. Beverly returns to Calabasas and demands that he make Barry a model, or threatens to call the Better Business Bureau, the news, and Calabasas’s mother. He winds up putting Barry on the cover of his next modeling pamphlet, which says “If I can model, anyone can!” Adam admits to his father that he tries to get his father and Pop-Pop back together, because he didn’t want to live in a world where a father and son could live a mile apart and never speak. Pop-Pop shows up on New Years to bring some beets. Adam invites him in, and Pop-Pop calls him the correct name. 6/14/22
• 033. DannyDonnieJoeJonJordan – 1/7/2015
  • Beverly has stuffed the garage full of her kids’ mementos and art projects over the years, and now it is so full that Murray’s car can barely fit inside. This time when he pulls in. he gets buried in an avalanche of boxes, so he tells Beverly she can keep on trunk full of art projects, and the rest needs to be hauled away. As she is going through the boxes, Eric finds several items that will embarrass her brothers, so when they come across her box of New Kids on the Block memorabilia, they realize they can retaliate. Erica escapes with most of it, but Adam manages to pull out a video she made of her professing her love for Jonathan by singing a song she wrote. They then show the video to all of Erica’s friends, causing her to lose her edge on her brothers. When the hauler (Lee Simpson) leaves with all of the old boxes of artwork, he accidentally takes the trunk that Beverly was supposed to keep. Murray and Pops try to go after the truck but it gets away too quickly. They then try recreating all of the art they can remember. After all of the fun-poking that Adam and Barry have done about the New Kids, they now find that they secretly are hooked on the music as well. They somehow justify it by agreeing that they need to know the music in order to taunt Erica with it, and from there they decided to make their own New Kids video. Murray finally tells Beverly what happened, and then he promises that from now on, she can hoard whatever she wants. As Murray searches through the dump to try and find the artwork, Beverly is visiting a guy named Gabe (Michael Busch) to make a payment on the storage unit where she has secretly had the movers store the artwork. Murray finds another kid’s artwork and thinks it is part of the missing art, brings it home, frames it, and hangs it as a surprise to Beverly. Barry and Adam create their music as a parody, but when they show it off to Chad Kremp, he tells them that it isn’t a parody, but a work of super fans. Barry tells Adam to get rid of the tape, but since it is some of his best work, Adam keeps it and hides it. Erica winds up finding it, and shows it off to everyone, including Adam’s girlfriend Dana, and Barry’s girlfriend Lainey. However, Erica feels bad when she realizes how she humiliated her brothers when they expected her to protect them, but always seems to have the upper hand at humiliating them. She makes it up to them by buying them all tickets to see the New Kids on the Block together. Murray points out that the artwork Murray brought home wasn’t his kids’ stuff. They also hear a phone message from the storage facility and find out what she did with the art. Murray moves the artwork back into the garage, and simply asks that she try to thin it out. Charlie DePew is Anthony Balsamo. 10/6/22
• 034. The Darryl Dawkins Dance – 1/14/2015
  • Although Barry is terrible with women, he has made headway with his longtime crush Lainey Lewis, and frequently makes out with her. One problem with this is that she doesn’t want anyone to know that she has any interest in him. The second problem comes when Erica finds them together and is sickened and disgusted and demands that Barry stops seeing her. Barry however is sure that she is going ask him to the Sadie Hawkins Dance, which he refers to as the ‘Darryl Dawkins Dance.’ He asks her point blank at school if she is going to ask him, speaking to her through the locker vent at her insistence. She won’t ask him, but tells him that he can come stag, and she will dance with him on the side as long as no one can tell. Erica however can see that she is attracted to him, so she asks her mother to set her up with the girl she always had in mind for Barry. She brings over a girl named Evelyn “Evvie” Silver (Allie Grant), the daughter of a woman in Bev’s scrapbooking class. Erica notices right away that Evvie is very similar to Bevvie, in more ways than name and scrapbooking. It isn’t long before Erica regrets the choice. When Lainey finds out she is going to the dance with Evvie, she freaks out on him, confusing Barry since she had already refused to go with him. When Erica sees how sad Barry is, she tells Barry that Lainey really does like him, and admits that she convinced her mom to set Barry up with Evvie. She sends him to the dance and tells him that he should be with Lainey. When he gets to the dance, Lainey doesn’t want to talk to him and runs out onto the football field. Barry tells her that he is happy to only see her from the shadows and be her ‘secret shame.’ He offers to dance with her on the football field, but she tells him to take her inside so that everyone can see them together. Meanwhile, Adam shares his love of Saturday morning Transformers cartoons and offers to take Adam to the animated feature version of the show. Adam is beyond disappointed when the good guys, including Optimus Prime, die in the film. Murray gives Adam a lecture about death, and how it happens to everyone. Pops agrees to finance and star in an updated Transformers movie with Adam… where Optimus lives. However, when they start to film a dangerous scene with the car hitting Pops, Adam fears killing him, so he fires him from the movie. Murray admits that he might have put that idea in his head, so Pops assures Adam that he has a long time ahead of him and not to worry about his death. Adam resumes the movie with Pops taking his role of Optimus back. Beverly finally sees how happy Barry is with Lainey when she shows up unannounced at the dance. She winds up setting up Evvie with a kid (James Garlin) who looks just like Murray. Alissa Laren Latow is the cheerleader who turns down Barry. Darsan Solomon is the movie usher. 10/7/22
• 035. Cowboy Country –
  • Adam starts to notice that a lot of the kids in his school are filling out and become more muscular. Even his girlfriend Dana has become taller than him, and she has now caught the eye of one of the most popular boys, Anthony Balsamo, who asks her to go to a party at the water tower. He immediately intervenes in their conversation and accepts on both of their behalf, even though Dana doesn’t seem that keen to go. He tries to come up with ways to grow up quickly by attempting to shave. Then he decides to give her his Green Lantern ring, but Pops tells him that is something a nerd would do. He then takes a ring that his grandmother left for him to give to his true love one day. After he gives it to Dana, his mother shows up at the school to get the ring back from Dana. Meanwhile, Dana tells Barry that her father wants to meet his father to make sure he comes from good stock. Knocking that he doesn’t, Barry likes the idea that Lainey has to get them together to watch the Cowboys-Eagles football game so they can get drunk together and bond. It takes a temper tantrum from Barry to get Murray to agree to go, but when he first meets her father Bill Lewis (David Koechner), he is thrilled to find that he has a 53-inch projection TV to watch the game on. However, it falls apart very quickly when Murray finds out that Bill is a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan and hates the Eagles. Murray tries to bite his tongue throughout the game, but he can’t contain his excitement when the Eagles score a touchdown. When their fight escalates, Bill throws Murray and Barry out of the house. Adam is already furious with his mother, and she makes it even worse by grounding him. He decides to sneak out to go to the water tower party. He shows up with a can of spray paint and climbs the water tower to attempt to paint ‘Adam Loves Dana’, but when he runs out of paint, he can only spray ‘Adam Loves Dan’. Making matters worse, he remembers his fear of heights and the fireman have to carry him down. When Murray realizes how much Barry likes Lainey, he decides to return and apologize for things getting personal but says they shouldn’t take it out on the kids. Bill agrees and says that Barry can see Lainey if he admits that the Cowboys are America’s team. Murray is willing to do it, but Barry stops him and says they won’t stoop that low. However, it works out for him, as Lainey is attracted to the notion of ‘forbidden love’. Beverly bribes Erica by threatening to wear curlers to school when she picks her up to tell her where Adam has snuck off to. She finds him walking home and grounds him even more, but when she sees his real tears, instead she takes him to Dana’s house. Dana tells Adam that she has no interest in these types of parties, and only wants to play video games and have fun with Adam. He gives her his Green Hornet ring after all. Zayne Emory is JC Spink. Nate Hartley is Dan. Jay Hunter is the firefighter. 1/28/23
• 036. Van People – 2/18/2015
  • Murray won’t let Erica use his car unless she promises to fill it up after each use, feeling that if the tank is less than half full then it is empty. Erica balks at this and says she’d rather walk to Lainey’s house, even when it starts pouring down rain. However, once she gets into the rain, she had to back down and lose the round of this argument. Meanwhile, Adam tries to use his knowledge of the comedians of the 80’s to become the class clown by telling jokes to his friends all of the time. Since his girlfriend Dana is on the yearbook committee, he gets a sneak peek at the superlative selections and finds that he has been voted as the Nicest Guy rather than the Class Clown. The Class Clown distinction goes to David Sirota (Sam Kindseth), who specializes in fart humor at the expense of their volatile teacher Mr. Woodburn. Adam is upset by this, so he decides to double down on his comedy, especially when Erica and Barry tell verify that he is not funny, and that people are usually laughing at him and not with him. He goes to Pops for advice, and after showing him his renditions of Sam Kinison, Gallagher, and Andrew Dice Clay, Pops sends him to his room. Later, he tells him that he needs to come up with his own relatable material like Don Rickles does. Erika manages to get Barry riles up and roped into the fight about the gasoline and manages him into taking his $1200 and her $60 and buying a car. Barry insists on a van that will make him feel like Hannibal from The A-Team. When they get it home, Murray and Beverly classify it as a death trap and Murray tells them they need to get rid of it. He says that since it is his house, it is his rules. Eric than talks Barry into joining her into further protest by moving into the van. Barry can barely stand it as he longs for his mother’s cooking. She tries to sneak him food, but they both get caught by Erica and Murray. Beverly demands that they get this issue resolved, so Murray buys the van off of Barry so Erica can no longer live in it. Adam tries out his new insults humor on the family and it bombs big time. Pops again advises him to not use insult humor on his family but try his own blend with the proper audience. He winds up making a cake made out of a hatbox for Mr. Woodburn. This lifts Mr. Woodburn’s sagging spirits until he finds out that this is a joke. Adam gets dragged to the Principal Ball’s office, and Murray and Beverly are called in with him, not just because of the joke, but because Ball has heard that two of their kids are living in a van. As they are trying to explain the situation, Barry rushes in and tells them that he found out from Lainey that Erica is going to the bus station to move to New York to get away from them. They all go into panic mode, and Barry uses the van to try and get them to the station in time, but it runs out of gas. When they get home, Erica is already back there, admitting that her father won the battle since she is too chicken to leave home. They agree that they are both stubborn, but Murray thinks it is a good thing as his stubbornness got him through college where he met their mother. Adam makes Mr. Woodburn a real cake that says “I’m Sorry” on it. Dana is impressed by this because she doesn’t want to date a clown, but a person who is real and is nice like him. 1/28/23
• 037. Barry Goldberg’s Day Off – 2/25/2015
  • Barry and Adam are both obsessed with the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but they argue over which one of them is more like Ferris. At school, Adam gets tired of the kids making fun of him for shooting videos, while Barry is disappointed when Lainey is voted Homecoming Queen when the King isn’t him, but her ex-boyfriend Anthony Balsamo. Erica is annoyed as well because she didn’t sign up to be in the running since she and Lainey had agreed that it was stupid. When Barry and Erica try to make a milkshake without the lid to the blender, Beverly gets annoyed and decides to go back to work and gets a job at Kremp Florist. On her first day at work, Barry decides to live out his Ferris Bueller dream by playing sick and staying home. Erica tries to get her parents to watch Ferris Bueller to prove that he is faking, but the won’t do it. Murray agrees to stay home with it, just to use it as his day off, and he pays no attention when Barry walks out of the house. He heads to Pops place and demands to use his Firebird. Pops agrees, but surprises Barry because Adam is already there, also dressed like Ferris, ready to take a day off as well. Barry tries to get Lainey out of class by calling and telling the school that her grandmother passed away, but Lainey thinks it is real and is devastated. She declines to leave with Barry because she is helping with the Homecoming float. Barry, Adam, and Pops visits some of the places around Philadelphia, and cause a ruckus at the Phillies game when Barry catches a foul ball and prevents a Philly from catching it and getting an out. Beverly leaves the florist early and takes their van home so that she can check on Barry, trying to break into the house so Murray won’t see her. The guys go to a fancy restaurant and give the car keys to an attendant, who really isn’t an attendant, and he drives off and they never see the car again. Barry and Adam are annoyed when the maître d’ (Jeff Witzke) won’t refuse to seat them so that they can recreate another scene from the movie. Once Beverly gets into the house, she and Murray realize that Barry has set up a dummy in his bed and has left the house. Erica tries to call home and tell her parents that Barry is skipping school, but her mother yells at her for tattling. She goes to the police station to report Pops’ car stolen, but the police officer on duty questions how she knew about the theft. While she is there, she runs into a guy named Garth Volbeck (Charlie Sheen) who questions why she worries so much about her brothers instead of herself. Barry becomes catatonic because he is upset that he’ll never be like Ferris Bueller and falls into the pool. Beverly shows up and saves him from drowning, then grounds him for three weeks. Erica has a change of heart and tries to cheer him up and tells him that he should go to the Homecoming. She even tells him about the alternate fan theory that Ferris Bueller never existed but was just a figment in Cameron’s mind. Barry realizes he can be Cameron, but be a lot like Ferris, and heads off to the Homecoming. Beverly is aghast when she finds out he has sneaked out again. During the Homecoming parade, Barry takes the reigns of the loudspeaker and sings Twist and Shout. Murray offers to get him, but Beverly decides she is going to take the day off from being a mother. Lainey, Erica, and all of the kids rally around Barry, as they are all fans of Ferris Bueller too. Adam decides he will never be Ferris or Cameron but runs and gets his video camera from his locker because he wants to be more like the film’s director John Hughes. Wyatt Logan is the band geek. Steele Gagnon is the little kid who won’t hold hands. 7/12/23
• 038. Happy Mom, Happy Life – 3/4/2015
  • Adam and Dana receive an assignment from Ms. Taraborelli (Michaela Watkins) that they have to care for a Cabbage Patch Kid as a real baby. Adam thinks it will bring he and Dana closer, and he sets up dinner in his treehouse for the two of them and the baby, which they name Leia DeLorean Goldberg. Beverly quickly finds out and tries to insert herself into the proceedings, even renaming the baby Myrna. Meanwhile, Barry and his JTP friends play Smash Ball in the Wawa convenience store parking lot, but has to leave them to go hang out with Lainey, disappointing all of his friends. Erika is also disappointed because Lainey chooses to go to a Heart concert instead of going to Anthony Balsamo’s party with her. Adam goes to his father and Pops for advice on how to handle Dana since she is mad that he allowed his mother to interfere. They tell him that the correct phrase is “Happy wife, happy life,” and not, “Happy Mom, happy life.” Adam immediately tells Dana that they will go with Leia as the baby’s name. Adam then makes a blunder and allows Dana to talk to Beverly about staying out of their project. Erika runs into the JTP friends Andy, Geoff, and Naked Rob, and joins them for a game of Smash Ball. She tells them that they can tag along with her to Anthony Balsamo’s party. Both Barry and Lainey are aghast when they see Erika joining the JTP at their table at the school lunch. Adam’s project starts to go even further south when he stops at the arcade after mowing lawns, leaving Dana to care for Leia herself. Adam decides to take Dana out to the movie and asks Murray to watch the doll, causing Beverly to fume with even more jealousy. Murray gladly hands it over, and then Beverly takes care of it like a real baby. While she is taking it for a walk, a dog grabs it and runs off with it. Barry gets furious when he catches Erika watching Brian’s Song with the JTP. Problems start to occur when each of the JTP guys wind up with a crush on Erika. Beverly meets up with a black-market toy dealer named Rick Lancer (Nick Swardson) and buys a Cabbage Patch Kid off of him to replace Leia. However, when she finds out that they cost $300, she buys a cheap knockoff version Lettuce Crop Child, which the kids recognize right away, causing Dana to storm out. Andy, Geoff, and Rob all show up below Erika’s window with radios, ala the film Say Anything. Mrs. Taraborelli threatens to fail Adam and Dana when she sees the knockoff doll, but Adam takes responsibility… as does Beverly. Adam melts down and tells his mother that he appreciates her trying to help, but that she’s screwed up everything between him and Dana. He notes that when he really gets married, she will need to butt out. Erika resigns from the JTP rather than ‘choose’ one of the guys. Barry tells the guys that they’re so awesome that she loves them equally and can’t possibly choose. He gives Erika the Heart tickets and decides to hang out with his boys for some more Smash Ball at the Wawa. Mrs. Taraborelli winds up giving Adam an A on the project because he did such a great job standing up for his lady from her ‘mother-in-law’. When Adam returns to his treehouse, he finds Dana decorating the treehouse and the two reconcile. Dana tells Adam that it was his mother who invited her over. Beverly tells Murray how hard it is to butt out, but that seeing Adam happy makes her happy. Her new saying became, “Happy kids, happy life.” Beverly tries to return the knockoff doll to Rick, but he falls in love with her.  7/14/23
• 039. The Lost Boy – 3/25/2015
  • Beverly has been utilizing guilt trips to get what she wants out of her kids for years, even resorting to getting out of the car and walking beside it, threatening to walk home, until they beg her to get back in. When Barry and Erika deny her when she asks them to either stay home with her and ‘bedazzle’ their clothes with sparkles or to let her go to the movies with them, she resorts to getting out her little tissues and crying. They eventually decide to take her to see The Lost Boys. Murry is planning to go to the Phillies game at Veterans Stadium, but Beverly insists that Adam can’t stay home alone, so Murray takes him along. Although Adam desperately wants to prove he is a man, he is still afraid to go to the restroom on his own. Murray takes him, but Adam is so disgusted by both the urinal trough and the stall, he is unable to go. After Beverly and the kids get home from the movie, she insists on going out to eat to Red Lobster. The kids tell Pops how much she is manipulating them, to which he gives them the mantra “it’s not real, don’t feel” indicating that their mother is just faking her sadness and hurt feelings. Adam has to go to the restroom again and confesses that he never went the first time. Murray refuses to take him again and sends him on his own. Adam, still disgusted by the restroom, begins exploring other restrooms on other levels, and winds up lost in the stadium. After Beverly and the kids eat at Red Lobster, she proposes that they continue the evening with some bedazzling at home. Erika denies the request, so Beverly gets out of the car. She and Barry agree to drive off and let her walk home. The come home proud of themselves for standing up to her, but Pops thinks they went too far by leaving their mother stranded. Murray starts to panic when Adam doesn’t return from the restroom and winds up getting kicked out of the stadium when he insists to a security guard named Paul (Larry Joe Campbell) that he wants to make an announcement on the loudspeaker. Officer Puchinski finds Beverly on the street and brings her home. opening the door for Beverly to dish out huge helpings of guilt that gets Barry and Erika to do anything she wants… including an evening of bedazzling. Murray meets a tailgater named Lou (Diedrich Bader) and his son Lou Jr. (Austin Kane), who helps ask around other tailgaters around the stadium. Adam finally asks another security guard (J. Anthony Pena) for help, but when he sees that all of the other lost children are little kids, he decides to tough it out himself. He winds up hanging out with the Phillies mascot. Erika turns to Pops for help with their mother, so he admits that he taught them how to stick up against her guilt trip. She thanks him for helping get the kids under her thumb, thinking she can use this guilt trip for the rest of their lives. Pops tells her that she shouldn’t hold them hostage, and she should make them want to hang out with her just by being the cool person she is. She decides to let them off the hook and tells them they’ve paid their obligation and apologizes for all of the guilt trips. Adam waits until all of the cars are gone in the lot and then spots his father waiting at their car for him. Adam is furious at first and wants to yell at him, but by the time he gets to him, the two can only embrace. The return home and the entire family watches Battle of the Network Stars together. 11/11/23
• 040. The Adam Bomb – 4/1/2015
  • Adam equates his ongoing ‘war’ with Barry since they seemingly have nothing in common with the Cold War between America and Russia. One of Barry’s most prized possessions is a high-top shoe owned and signed by basketball player Charles Barkley, which he got from Dave Sirota, the son of the team’s doctor. Adam decides to play an April Fool’s joke on Barry by telling him that he spilled water on Barry’s shoe and then throwing it into the dryer. Barry freaks out when he sees what’s left of the destroyed shoe, and before Adam can tell him that it was merely a prank and that the actual shoe is safe, Barry demolishes Adam’s Castle Grayskull. Adam demands that Barry pay him the $100 to have it replaced, but Barry tells Adam that he knew how he would react, so it was purely Adam’s fault. Meanwhile, Erika and Lainey find out that pop sensation Tiffany is going to be putting a free concert at the mall. Erika thinks she can create a demo tape, pass it on to Tiffany, and then be discovered and become a pop star herself. She goes to see her father about getting $200 to record the tape, but he says there is no way. Beverly overrides him and says that she believes in Erika, but then privately tells Murray that she wants him to squash the dream. She tells Murray that she needs to be the ‘dream pusher’ and needs to be the ‘dream smoosher’. Adam retaliates against Barry by using a marker to draw mustaches and beards on all of Barry’s baseball cards. Although Adam talks tough, he becomes petrified about what Barry would do. Sure enough, Barry disassembles Adam’s video camera. When Murray and Beverly go to talk to Erika, Murray double-crosses Bev and tells Erika that she supports Erika’s music plan 100%. This forces Beverly to give Erika a reality check and tell her that it is a very bad plan. Murray and Beverly then go to see Erika’s music teacher Miss Cinoman and try to convince her to tell Erika that her life will be ruined if she continues pursuing music. Miss Cinoman is offended and tells Bev how many pop stars’ mothers manage their daughter’s careers, giving Beverly a fresh outlook. Adam goes to see Lainey to try and break her up with Barry, and when he tells her that Barry destroyed his video camera, she does indeed tell Barry they need to talk about their relationship. Adam also puts all of his belongings in storage so that Barry can’t touch anything else. Erika makes her own demo tape with a boom box and manages to give it to Tiffany’s bouncer (David Terrell), but then sees that it is thrown into a box with dozens of other hopefuls’ tapes. She tries to catch Tiffany on her bus as she is leaving, only to realize there are tons of other girls, including Lainey and Miss Conman, with the same idea in mind. Barry unleashes his final revenge when he makes hundreds of copies of an embarrassing Sears glamour portrait of Adam dressed in a white suit, short pants, and knee socks. Bev starts creating t-shirts and posters with Erika’s face on them, but Erika has realized she had no shot when she saw all of the girls with the same dreams. Barry is getting ready to hang the pictures of Adam, but when he sees the Berlin Wall coming down on TV, he decides to end his war with Adam. He pays to get Adam’s camera fixed by selling his Charles Barkley shoe. In turn, Adam helps Barry make a rap video of him singing a song about being a bad boy, but a sweet guy, to show to Lainey to win her back. Murray gives Erika money for her demo, so that she knows there is no one like Erika out there. She records her demo with her parents’ support. Barry winds back Lainey. Adam and Barry burn the last copies of the Sears photo. 11/11/23
• 041. I Drank the Mold! – 4/8/2015
  • Barry and Erica discover the existence of CD players while shopping at the mall and decide they need to have one right away. They go home and demand that their father buy one for them. He refuses, even when they both insist that music is their ‘thing’. When he brings up how many other ‘things’ of theirs he has supported, Erica and Barry make him a deal that if they write the greatest song ever made, he will buy them the CD player. They immediately go to work and come up with a ditty called Love Ninja, but they can’t even get Pops to say that he likes it. Realizing that their father doesn’t know music, they decide to steal an existing song and tell him that they wrote it. They perform Elton John’s Your Song for him, but he is not fooled. Pops tells them that it isn’t that he didn’t like music, but that he was so busy babysitting his brother, he didn’t have the time or money for it in his family. Meanwhile, it is Adam’s birthday, and although he insists that he is too old for a party, his mother surprises him by having his friends Chad Kremp, Dave Kim, David Sirota, and a cool kid named Garry Ball (Nathan Gamble), the son of the school principal. Garry insists that the party is not a slumber party, but rather a sleepover, in which they get into mischief. He produces a bottle of beer that he swiped from his father. Everyone takes a swig of the beer, but by the time it gets to Adam, all of the other kids are running to the bathroom to vomit. As Beverly is bringing in Cowboy Josh (Morgan Beck) to the party, she comes downstairs and catches Adam with the beer. She arranges a meeting with Garry’s father, Dave’s mother, Chad’s mother, and David’s father (Mike Rock). Principal Ball takes responsibility for the beer but tells them that it hadn’t fermented and was basically a bottle of mold. Beverly blames them all for their sons’ influence on Adam, so Principal Ball suggests that the boys never hang out together again. Adam is upset by this, so he proves to his mother that he’s not angel and drinks some of the beer mold himself, immediately getting sick as well. Beverly decides to reconvene a meeting with the parents and suggests that all of the boys are going to be going through this phase and instead of keeping them apart, the parents should band together themselves to help guide them through the tough times. Barry and Erica decide to sell off a bunch of their things and buy their father a CD player of his own. He assumes they got it just so that they can also use it, so he tells them that since it is his, they can never use it. Later, after hearing Erica playing Your Song on her guitar, he changes his mind and tells them that he wants them to have it. He says that sometimes he sees their life as so different from his, but he wants it that way. Later, Barry discovers the Discman and buys one for himself, but has trouble keeping it from skipping. Mike Nojun Park is the Sam Goody clerk. NOTE: Lynette Dupree is credited as the lunch lady but does not appear in the episode. 3/19/24
• 042. La Biblioteca Es Libros? – 4/15/2015
  • When Murray changes the channel on Barry while he is watching Jazzercise on TV, Barry demands respect from his father. He then threatens to go out and get a job, a notion Murray can get behind. Meanwhile, Adam brings home an F on his Spanish test, prompting Beverly to go visit his Spanish teacher Senora Taraborelli and blame her for his bad grades. Knowing that Ms. Taraborelli would love to travel to San Juan if she could afford it, Beverly offers her $50 per hour to tutor Adam in Spanish. Although she knows it is a conflict of interest, she accepts the job for the money. Soon she is also advising Adam to change certain answers on his tests in order for him to get passing grades. When the other kids get wind of this, they all confront Adam, who suggests that they all go see if Ms. Taraborelli will tutor them as well. When they start slipping her bribes, she knows she has crossed the line, and refuses to continue tutoring Adam. Beverly helps Adam deliver his oral report without using any Spanish words, but just doing performance art, which yields a failing grade and more embarrassment for Adam. Barry tries to get a job at Gimbel’s with Erica, but as soon as her boss Chuck (Ross Mackenzie) gives him a brief interview, it is clear that he’s a bad candidate. After going a series of more bad interviews, Barry finally gets hired by a guy named Andy Cesunda (Parvesh Cheena) to work at the Pizza Depot. Murray finally tells Barry that he respects him and offers to share a beer with him. Barry is so taken aback that he slaps the beer across the kitchen. He then quickly fails at the job by losing or eating 33 out of 37 pizzas he is supposed to deliver. Before Murray finds this out, he buys Barry his own recliner and his own remote control, so Barry returns to watching Jazzercise. Erica is furious since she has had a job for years and has never seen this kind of respect. She then finds out that Barry has been fired, but when it is revealed to Murray, he bonds with Barry even more since he too had been fired from his first job. When Erica lays into him, he realizes he has been unfair to her, so he offers Erica her own beer as well. Unfortunately, Beverly sees her with it, so Murray has to act like he had caught Erica red-handed and was punishing her. At Pop’s advice, Beverly finally decides to let Adam drop down to the Remedial Spanish class, where Adam is able to pass his tests. She tells Adam that even though she knows he’s not really perfect, she sees him that way in her eyes. David Douglas is the customer who refuses to pay for the late, half-eaten pizza. 3/20/24
• 043. Just Say No – 4/15/2015
  • Barry feels that he is at the top of his game after watching American Gladiators, but when he and his Jenkintown Posse are hanging out in their Wawa parking lot and they are challenged by the rival Meadowbrook Mafia, consisting of Bradley Cooper (Thomas Kasp), Psycho Mikowitz (Harrison Boxley), Dumb Doug (Ali Ghandour), and Josh Millstein-Chang (Brian Sounalath), Barry backs down. He decides that the only way to reclaim their parking lot is to become nationally known as television’s greatest warrior. He makes Adam film him for an audition tape to send to American Gladiators. Meanwhile, the presidential debates between Ronald Reagan and Walter Mondale are heating up, and while Erika is pushing for Mondale, Murray wants Reagan. Erika becomes infuriated because Murray is only concerned about his taxes, but even more so that her mother is willing to vote for whoever Murray says. Adam starts working on filming Barry for his audition tape and takes special delight in beating on him for the video. Erika not only tries to convince her mother of the Mondale/Ferraro ticket, but she joins the Politics Club at school so that she can take part in the debates. Unfortunately, Beverly starts to read over the literature and takes a bigger liking to Nancy Reagan due to her fashion sense and her “Just Say No!” campaign against drugs. Beverly shows up to the first mock debate between Erika and Mike Safris, who is standing in for Reagan. Beverly decides that she wants to address the kids first with her “Just Say No!” campaign, and she winds up taking up so much time that there isn’t any left for the debate. Beverly even pushes for locker searches at the school. Adam sends off Barry’s audition tape but sends it to Amerca’s Funniest Home Videos instead of American Gladiators. However, when Barry gives Adam his heartfelt thanks for all of his help, Adam starts to feel guilty about what he’s done. As Beverly gloats about her vigorous campaign for Reagan, Erika makes her feel guilty as well, as she tells him how she really wanted to make a difference but can’t even do it with her own mother. Adam works with Pops to try and retrieve the video tape from the post office with no luck. Adam finally admits to Barry what he did, but says it was for revenge for all of the Gladiator pain he’s inflicted on him. Barry tells him that inflicting pain on him is his way of showing him love. Now he refuses to ever beat up Adam again. Adam is able to cheer him up by editing the tape to make it look like Barry is highly tolerant of all forms of pain. This gives Barry the confidence to face off with the Meadowbrook Mafia. The next time the two factions face, Barry boops himself with his own ice cream and then beats himself up with the dumpster, declaring himself emotionally unstable, which scares off the Mafia, leaving the JTP standing victorious. Beverly apologizes to Erika for going overboard with the campaigning and tells her how proud of her she is. Unfortunately, the election doesn’t go the way she wants, but Erika is surprised to hear that she just might have persuaded her father to vote for Mondale. 8/1/24
• 044. As You Wish – 4/22/2015
  • Adam has been watching the movie The Princess Bride on repeat, and he and his friend Dave Kim are emulating the sword fighting in the film by simulating it with wrapping paper tubes. Dave convinces Adam to ask his parents to buy him a real sword. Knowing that his mother would never allow it, he turns to his father by buttering him up with a buttered bagel and then asking him for the $250 sword, then telling him that his lifelong dream has to become a fencer. He enlists Pops to try and help convince Murray to let him pursue this dream. When Murray tells him a touching story of Bev becoming a ballerina, Murray agrees to get Adam the sword. Meanwhile, Beverly has found out that there seems to be a spark between Coach Mellor and Miss Cinoman at school and wants to be a true yenta and help facilitate a relationship, despite the warnings from Barry and Erika. She arranges for them both to be at her house to pick up some donations and then introduces them to each other. Adam gets into the fencing club at school, and then purposely throws the first match, even having the female referee carry him to the car. Adam then says he has a better cause to keep the swords, but Murray wants to re-sell them to another father. When Coach Mellor and Miss Cinoman stay late at the Goldberg house getting to know one another, Beverly considers her matchmaking a success and immediately brags about it to her friend Ginny. Unfortunately, this leads to the world spreading all among the parents, the students, and the school faculty. Principal Ball tells them that their dating violates the school’s by-laws and that one of them is going to have to take a leave of absence. Beverly is certain that it was the lonely and bitter teacher Mr. Woodburn who complained to the principal, she decides that she needs to set him up with a date as well. Miss Cinoman decides to be the one to leave, and consequently the school choir that she was instructing falls apart prompting Principal Ball to step in, and Coach Mellor can’t keep his act together and works his classes harder than normal. Beverly agrees that she might have stirred up trouble, so she immediately starts searching for the perfect woman for Mr. Woodside, settling on a recommendation from Erica of one of her Gimbel’s co-workers named Gail Kaufman (Kiva Jump), who dresses in brown and likes to talk about her pet lizard. Beverly tells Erika that she too is a yenta, much to Erika’s dismay. Murray demands that Adam remain in fencing, but when Murray accidentally stabs Adam in the throat with it, they both agree to end the fencing experiment. However, when Murray expresses how he had hoped there would be overlap between Adam’s interest in movies and his interest in cool sports, Adam reconsiders and offers to give fencing another try. It turns out that Adam is able to psyche out his next opponent by quoting Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, leading to his first victory. Erika ends up telling Mr. Woodburn about the Gimbel’s sale on brown pants and is able to set him up with Gail. Once the two start dating, Mr. Woodburn is no longer interested in a raising a stink over Coach Mellor and Miss Cinoman, so she returns to school, and all is well again. Murray even watches The Princess Bride and enjoys it, then agrees to film Adam sword fighting. Alex Long is Adam’s fencing opponent. 8/2/24
• 045. Dance Party USA – 4/29/2015
  • Despite the fact that Erica went through a much geekier phase in her earlier school career, unable to get a date with the nerd clarinet player Dan, she has now blossomed into a beautiful and popular student, now invited to dance on the TV series Dance Party USA. Barry desperately wants to join her and Lainey on the show, but he has come down with a case of pink eye from a kaleidoscope he found, and Erica refuses to let him come on the show. Meanwhile, Adam and Pops dress in their best jackets and hats sneak off to Atlantic City where Pops plays at the craps table. When the pit boss (Carlos Arellano) gives them coupon for a free seafood buffet, Adam thinks that Pops has magical luck, which Pops tells Adam has been passed onto him and that if he believes in himself, he can’t lose. He then challenges Garry Ball to a game of finger football, and winds up losing all of his toys. Murray tries to tell Adam that neither he nor Pops have any sort of magical luck, but Beverly wants to keep Adam’s belief in Pops alive and tells him that Pops will get his toys back for him. Beverly then goes to see Garry’s father, Principal Ball, but he refuses to make his son give back the toys. Instead, the two of them gamble by cutting cards, but Beverly loses and gets barred from coming to see him for the rest of Adam’s school career. Barry turns to Coach Mellor to teach him to dance, and the by the time the two of them are through, Barry has impressed Erica, who has now come down with the pink eye, been forced to wear glasses, and after running into a locker, has to put her braces back on. Lainey decides that it is Barry who should go on the show with her instead of Erica. Beverly goes to the store and attempt to purchase replacement toys for Adam, but wind up getting the wrong things. Pops is forced to admit that he has no magical powers, and Adam is disappointed that he is not only merely a normal man but has been lying to him for years. Erica tries to get pudding at school since her teeth hurt from the braces, but the lunch lady (Lynette DuPree) tells her that they only have pears, prompting Erica to throw fit and throw pears all over the lunchroom. Barry takes pity on how pathetic Erica has become and invites her to come onto the show with them. He confesses to Erica that the state she is now in is how he feels all of the time. Murry convinces Adam that even though Pops isn’t magic, he is a terrific grandfather and is always there for him, and that he merely exaggerated because he wanted to impress Adam. He tells Pops that he wants to hang out with him still but asks him not to lie to him. Pops gives Adam a watch that his grandfather had given him. On Dance Party USA, when the director puts a better-looking girl in front of Erica, Lainey and Barry push her away. Dean Cudworth is the card dealer. 12/5/24
• 046. Bill/Murray – 5/6/2015
  • Beverly makes Erica and Adam stop watching MTV music videos so that she can discuss Erica’s college choices with her. As they go through the list of schools, Beverly comes up with Juilliard, since it is close by, although Erica doesn’t believe there is any way she can get into that school. Meanwhile, Principal Ball finds Barry and Lainey making out in the janitor’s closet and calls Murray and Lainey’s father Bill into the office. The rivalry between the two fathers over their opposing love of the Eagles and the Cowboys still exists, but as soon as they find out that Principal Ball is a New York Giants fan, they immediately bond over bashing him and his team. After the meeting, they both wind up at the bar across the street and begin a friendly association. The bartender (Jim Titus) notes that their two name together are “Bill Murray.” The two start to become better friends and start hanging out and watching TV together, much to Barry and Lainey’s delight. Beverly takes Erica to see the guidance counselor Mr. Glascott, who cautions them both that Juilliard only takes the best of the best. No matter how he phrases it, Beverly continues to believe that Erica is qualified. She decides they should have Adam produce a music video in the MTV vein to Erica singing True Colors. Adam tries to add all sorts of strange effects including a smoke machine, wind, a blue screen, and band of Robert Palmer dancers, much of it as the insistence of Beverly. Despite the fact that Bill gives a Murray a Watchman TV, Murray has trouble offering Bill any sort of comfort or guidance when Bill wants to talk about his wife leaving him exactly seven years earlier. Once Bill finally leaves after a good, long cry, Murray tells Barry that their friendship has now ended. Adam’s video comes out even more ridiculous than expected when he tries to employ animation using stick figures on notebook paper. Beverly finally realizes that Erica truly isn’t good enough to get into Juilliard. She finally tells Erica to do things her way. Murray begins trying to avoid Bill when he comes to see him at work by pretending that he and his worker Vic have been hanging out. Murry finally admits he can’t handle Bill’s man-tears, causing Bill to storm out. Pops later confronts Murray and tells him that he has to be there for the good times and the bad, and he knows that he’s capable of it because Murray has always been his favorite friend. Murray goes to see Bill at the bar and tells him that if he needs to open up to him, he can feel free. The two resume their friendship, watching movies and doing Bill Murray impressions. 12/5/24

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