The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1

Created by James Komack

Theme song: “Chico and the Man” composed and performed by Jose Feliciano

• 001. Pilot – 9/13/1974
  • Ed Brown (Jack Albertson) is a grouchy mechanic who runs a garage in East Los Angeles, California, but is disgruntled about the way his life is going following the death of his wife Margaret and the fact that the neighborhood is being overrun by Mexicans, causing him to drink too much and have frequent arguments with God. After rudely serving one customer (King Moody), he is visited by a local young Mexican named Chico Rodriguez (Freddie Prinze) who has grown up in the neighborhood admiring Ed and is now looking to work for him. Ed has no interest and asks him to leave, but Chico keeps hanging around and coming with ideas on how to grow the business. He even gives away a hubcap to one customer (Rodolfo Hoyos Jr.) in order to advance public relations, but later admits to Ed that he took it from the other side of the customer’s car. Ed makes it clear that he wants Chico to leave, so he finally take the hint and goes. The next morning he finds that Chico has spent all night in the garage and has moved into the van that Ed is storing in it. No matter what he says, he can’t convince Chico to leave. Two officers (Jerry Fogel, Sidney Clute) show up and start to arrest Chico for a robbery, but Ed comes to his defense and tells the officers that he not only was there all night, but that he works for him as well. He tells Chico that he only did it because he doesn’t want any trouble, again asking him to leave. After Chico leaves a Spanish ‘margarita’ in Ed’s liquor bottle in reference to Ed’s wife Margaret, Ed decides to keep him on. The hubcap customer returns and needs another hubcap. 9/16/20

• 002. Second Thoughts – 9/20/1974
  • Shortly after hiring Chico, Ed wakes up one morning and decides that now that he is completely sober, he has made a mistake and wants Chico to leave. Chico however has purchased a uniform with the incorrectly spelled “Ed’s Garbage” words embroidered on the back. Chico has many ideas about how to grow the business including buying a wooden Indian that he will dress in a garage uniform to attract customers. He also purchases a truck full of inventory, but Ed tells the delivery man (Jack Knight) to return everything. Ed finds that Chico has tricked him into signing a contract with him while he was drunk. Although he sets it on fire, and then tears up the copy that Chico has, Chico has yet another copy that states they will be together until death do them part. Ed tries to give him meaningless task in hopes they will make him quit but Chico is determined to stay. Ed then gives Chico a bickering couple Mr. Dooley (Bill Zuckert) and his wife Alice (Gladys Holland), and despite their screaming at each other, Chico is able to get them to leave by getting them a taxi so that they will leave and he can work on their car in peace. Ed is impressed, and Chico asks that they stop bickering because he looks to Ed as a father. Ed insults him and calls him a street bum, so Chico tells him that he’s not leaving unless Ed tells him in all seriousness that he wants him to quit. Ed tells him in no uncertain terms that he really wants him to leave. Ed tells him that he really wants him out of his garage, his van, and his life, but Chico says he doesn’t believe him. 9/16/20
• 003. Old Dog – 9/27/1974
  • One morning Ed thinks that Chico is still asleep in his van while Chico has been up for hours working. Ed is irritated that Chico left the garage to go and get some manuals for foreign cars. Ed is resistant to learning anything new, but Chico insists that it is a necessity to stay in business. The mail woman Mabel (Bonnie Boland) comes and brings a calendar with a naked woman, and Ed further realizes that he is not comfortable in the current age. When a customer (Bo Kaprall) brings in a German car that is having an issue with its windshield wipers not turning off, Ed fumbles through finding the engine in the rear. He is able to stop the wipers, but then the horn starts going off. He fixes that too, but then the radio comes on. Realizing he is behind the times, he decides to retire and refuses to get out of bed. Chico is forced to run the shop alone, and Ed won’t help with anything, even resisting putting on fan belt when a customer (Robert Gibbons) brings in his station wagon. Then the customer with the German car returns, this time with the wipers, the horn, and the radio all going off. No other mechanic has been able to repair it, so Ed is his last resort. He is able to stop the radio and horn, but then simply pulls the wiper blades off altogether. Later Chico prepares a dinner of muffins and wine for Ed has his coming out into the 20th century party. 11/26/20
• 004. New Suit – 10/4/1974
  • While chatting with the garbageman Louie Wilson (Scatman Crothers), Ed opens an invitation for a reunion with his old Army battalion. He tells Louie he won’t be attending and chucks it in the garbage. Louie shows it to Chico in hopes he can force him to go, so Chico tries to manipulate him by going down memory lane about old friends from the Army. Ed figures out quickly that Chico has been talking to Ed, and resists the suggestion. A customer (Carmen Zapata) overhears them talking about it, and thinks that Ed is refusing to see his wife. As a marriage counselor, she tries to intervene, and then even after hearing the truth, she still is reduced to tears and begs Ed to go to the reunion. One of Ed’s old Army buddies Charlie Markowitz (Herb Vigran) phones to make sure that Ed is coming, and Ed says he’ll be there… but tells Chico he was lying because Charlie never takes no for an answer. He also says he doesn’t have a suit anyway. Chico brings in a variety of suits for Ed to try on, and then delivers him the kicker by bringing up the fallen who would love to have the chance to go to a reunion like this. Charlie stops by to have a drink with Ed before the reunion, and starts to talk about how successful many of their old friends became. Ed starts have second thoughts about going since he thinks he has nothing. Chico reminds Ed that he has him as a friend. Then while relating a movie scenario about Spencer Tracy and Pat O’Brien, Ed can take no more and heads off to the reunion. 11/26/20
• 005. Borrowed Trouble – 10/11/1974
  • As Chico is trying to convince Ed to do more to embrace the Chicano culture of the neighborhood and to learn some Spanish, and customer (Larry Hovis) brings in a clunker car that they are unable to fix because they don’t have an exhaust in house. Chico tries to convince Ed to take a loan for $2000 to stock up the garage with some car parts. Ed doesn’t think he will qualify, but Chico brings him to a Chicano bank where they meet with the loan officer T. Delgado (Julio Mendina). Delgado wants some basic information and references but Ed is insulted by even that simple line of questioning. Eventually Chico and Delgado seem to get in a shouting match in Spanish, but it results with Ed getting the loan. After they stock up on parts, no one seems to be showing up for business. Ed blames Chico for getting him in financial trouble, so a frustrated Chico tells him he’ll take everything back to repay the loan. While he is packing up, and construction worker (Isaac Ruiz) comes in to use the men’s room and tells Ed that he’s been working nearby repairing a water main, and that the street has been closed. Ed realizes that this is why he’s had no customers, and tells Chico to call off getting rid of their inventory. When the next customer (Raymond Vago) shows up, Ed overzealously tries to upsell him, and ends up scaring him off. Chico criticizes Ed’s salesmanship, and when Ed again blames him for causing his problems, Chico quits. For the next customer (Alma Beltran) comes in, Ed gives her great service, and then finds out that she only needs one dollar in gas. Chico sees how hard Ed tried to improve, so he decides to stay. When business finally starts to pick up, Chico finds Ed under one of the cars sleeping. 3/17/21
• 006. E Pluribus Used Car – 10/25/1974
  • Louie’s wants to sell his car ‘Rosebud’ of seventeen years in order to buy his wife a facelift for their anniversary. Chico offers to help sell it, and Louie tells him and Ed they can keep anything they make over $300. Ed tries to sell it to the local butcher Mando (Isaac Ruiz), and although he doesn’t want it, he offers to tell his customers about it. Soon a lawyer name Raoul Gomez (Rene Enriquez) comes in based on Mando’s recommendation and is interested in buying it. Chico and Gomez dicker from $800 down to $400, but as soon as Gomez pays Ed, the car’s engine explodes. Ed refuses to give the money back, despite pleas from both Mando and Chico. Gomez even threatens legal action, and to up the lawsuit by additional charges. Ed won’t budge because he feels that Gomez once cheated him in legal fee costs. With Mando and Ed both getting a bad reputation in the neighborhood, Chico finally asks Mando to bring over his tow truck and haul off the van he’s sleeping in. Ed finds out that Mando can get $600 for the van, most of which will be used to pay back Gomez. Ed finally counters the offer with $400, which can then go to Raoul, as long as Ed doesn’t have to know about it. Louie comes to check and see if Ed has sold the car yet, and is relieve to find that he hasn’t. He says his wife has had trouble dealing with him since he’s sold the car, so she wants him to get it back. Although Ed and Chico warn him not to start it, Louie has no issues when he starts it, claiming only he knows how to handle the car. 3/17/21
• 007. Lifestyle – 11/1/1974
  • Ed is hoping that Chico will watch the football game with him and Louie, but Chico has plans to go to a dance with his new girlfriend Patty Bertrand (Diana Canova). Ed laments the generation gap, and how Chico doesn’t even know where she lives, what her father does for a living, and the fact that she is picking him up. He also doesn’t care for the new generation’s desire to have constant fun. When Patty shows up at the garage, Chico shows her around and takes her into his van, closing the roof and doors to show how he finds privacy. Ed catches them in the van, and although they were simply talking and joking, he demands they get out and refers to Patty as a hussy, before they head to the dance. The next morning, Chico gives Ed the cold shoulder and tells him how badly he overreacted, and how ridiculous it is to think that Patty could get pregnant from sitting on a couch together. Later, Patty’s father Percival (Robert Carricart) shows up at the garage, ready to strangle Chico. Patty told him about it, and he too overreacted…but this time it is Ed who comes to Chico’s defense. He uses the same words Chico did to explain how ridiculous the notion is that she could become pregnant. He is able to calm Percival down and they have a drink together. The come to the agreement that sometimes there is too much communication between generations, since if Patty hadn’t told her father about entering the van, the argument never would have happened. When they come back downstairs, they both start to freak out when both Chico and Patty pop their head out of the van’s roof…until they see that Louie is also no there with them. 7/13/21
• 008. The Veterans – 11/8/1974
  • Chico asks Ed for an advance so he can buy some new carpet for the van, but Ed is still struggling to pay back his $2000 loan that took out to fill the garage with inventory. Chico tries to come up with schemes, such as borrowing the principal plus an extra thousand dollars from a bank, and then repeat with another bank. Ed doesn’t seem to want to woo customers, as he throws out a cab driver (Paul Lichtman) who rudely asks him to clean his windshield. Chico gets a letter offering benefits from the Veterans Administration, including loans for each of them for up to $2000. Ed reveals that he was discharged with an inventory, while visiting a brothel in New Orleans, when he was accidentally shot in the butt by a ricocheted bullet by a guy having an argument with two soldiers. They go into the V.A. and meet Mr. Sheldon (Jonathan Daly), who initially tries to throw him out, thinking he is looking for a disability pension. Once Chico tells him, they’re just looking for a V.A. loan, he tells them what they offer… which does not include business loans. However, he tells them about the G.I. Bill, which will pay both student and teacher if the veteran is learning a trade. Chico gets the idea to set up Ed as an instructor in his own automotive school. Mr. Sheldon comes in to examine the ‘school’ which is held in the garage. With Sheldon watching, Louie comes in as Ed’s second student, claiming he was late due to ‘bussing’ issues. Sheldon quickly catches on that the whole thing is a scam, and denies authorizing the school. 7/13/21
• 009. No Room in the Garage – 11/15/1974
  • One rainy night Ed’s daughter Sharon (Jill Choder) shows up at the garage for a visit with Ed. They don’t have much to talk about as usual, but Sharon tells Ed that she is planning to accept a job offer in the area. Ed argues with her that he worked to put her through medical school so that she could get out of their crummy neighborhood. She agrees to disagree, but tells him that he can’t tell her what to do. He declines a dinner invitation with her, and she leaves to go to the restaurant on her own. Next, a very pregnant Mexican lady named Dolores (Marie Gahva) shows up at the garage looking for Chico. Ed is certain that the baby’s father must be Chico, and nearly blows his stack with worry. Chico shows up and initially says he’s never seen the woman before, but after the two speak in Spanish, he tells Ed that it really is his baby. Dolores goes into labor, and they are able to get Sharon back to deliver the baby in Chico’s van in the garage. While they are in there, Chico tells Ed that Dolores is actually a cousin from his family, but he lied to Ed so he wouldn’t send her away. She had come so that the baby could be born an American citizen, and he was afraid Ed wouldn’t approve. Ed softens when he finds out that Dolores has made him the godfather after Ed was kind enough to allow the baby to be delivered in his garage. Ed also reminisces about the night that Sharon was born, and the two of them make peace with each other. 1/9/22
• 010. The Letter – 12/6/1974
  • Ed has been feeling good because he has gone several days without drinking. Chico on the other hand is distraught when Mabel the mailwoman delivers a letter from his cousin Carlos (Richard Yniguez) telling him that he has bought a used car lot in New York and wants Chico to go with him to run it. Chico and Carlos have been close since childhood, and had always vowed to go into business together, so Chico feels obligated to go along. When Ed won’t take the hint that Chico needs to leave, he tries to get himself fired by being rude to a customer (Tom McFadden). When Chico finally tells Ed the truth, Ed immediately starts drinking again. Ed is then at Chico’s throat and demands that he leave right away. Chico says his goodbyes to  his friend Mando, as Carlos comes to pickup Chico to head out. Ed and Chico are still bickering and have both become angry at each other, whom they each consider ungrateful for all they’ve done for one another. Carlos sees the bickering, and recognizes it for what it really is: love for one another. He then refuses to allow Chico to come with him, and tells him that his family had always only worried about him when they thought he didn’t have anyone, but now they see that Chico and Ed have each other. After Carlos leaves, Ed tells Chico to get out once again, but Chico can see right through his supposed anger and goes right back to work. Howard Storm is the second customer. 1/9/22
• 011. Natural Causes – 12/20/1974
  • Ed wakes up in a particularly grumpy mood, and nothing that Chico or the mailwoman Mabel can say or do will cheer him up. When Mabel delivers his paper, his mood gets even worse when he sees that his old friend Joe Harrigan has passed away from natural causes. Not only did Joe die owing Ed $500, but Ed is also bothered by the fact that ‘natural causes’ indicates he had nothing wrong with him.  He starts to worry about his own mortality and even tries to be extra friendly with a customer named Alfred (Bill McLean) because he thinks time is so short. Ed winds up bedridden for no apparent reason. Chico decides to play along with him and bring him a tire wreath, prods him about his will, and brings in his family doctor (Luis de Cordova) to have him checked out and legally declared dead if need be. After the doctor gives him a scare by telling Chico in Spanish that his car battery is dead, he officially tells him that he is going to live. Ed then gets a visit from Joe’s widow Betty (Shirley O’Hara), who tells him that Joe died in a motel room with a redhead, and his last words were to tell Betty that he loved her and to pay Ed back is $500. She presents Ed with a check which he reluctantly takes with prodding from Chico, and asks Ed if he can deliver the eulogy. Ed can’t think of much nice to say about Joe, but he agrees to do it anyway. After the funeral, Ed comes home limping and tells Chico that he said an hour’s worth of nice things, which had the audience laughing. He also says that since he had few friends, he and two other men were the only pallbearers so they dropped the casket twice, once on his foot. 5/21/22
• 012. The Manuel Who Came to Dinner – 12/27/1974
  • An Auto Club tow truck driver (Gary Carlos Cervantes) brings in the car of a man named Manuel Guerrera (Daniel Nunez), who would rather not have had the car towed to Ed’s garage. When Ed returns from grabbing coffee and sees Manuel, he also doesn’t want to see Manuel and refuses to work on the car. Chico thinks it is unethical to send him away, so he tells Manuel that he’ll do the work. He also prods Ed to tell him why there is bad blood between the two, but Ed will only tell him that they used to be friends during World War 2 and after. Chico is astonished that Ed was friends with a Chicano. Chico thinks there might still be affection between them, so he tells Manuel that Ed really wants him to come back that evening for dinner. Ed then admits that they had a falling out when Manuel’s son started to date Ed’s daughter, and that they couldn’t agree on an interracial relationship. Chico tells Ed that Manuel really wanted to see him and reconcile, but he stubbornly says he won’t sit down with him. When Manuel returns, he has had an accident and blames it on Ed’s shoddy work on his car, threatening to sue him. Chico again lies to Ed and tells him that Manuel wanted to sit down with him because he only has a few weeks to live. Ed then softens and tells Manuel that he’ll fix his car for free like in the old days. They briefly sit down together, but when Ed keeps bringing up Manuel’s impending death, Chico is forced to tell him the truth. Ed then throws him out again, and as they argue, Chico finds out that it was actually Manuel who had the problem with their children dating. Chico also figures out that the issue with the car’s brake line had nothing to do with what Ed had done to the car. Manuel then softens and asks Ed if he could watch the Dodgers-Reds baseball game with him, and Ed tells him to join him. 5/21/22
• 013. Garage Sale – 1/3/1975
  • The garage is visited by the new city inspector Flynn (Richard X. Slattery), who has replaced Al Ledbetter, now residing in jail for accepting bribes. Flynn finds several violations, including junk piled in front of a door meant to be a fire exit. Flynn gives the guys 24 hours to clean up the mess or he will impose a hefty fine. Chico has the idea to have a garage sale to get rid of the old junk and make some money. Ed considers most of the stuff to be personal and sentimental, so he gets annoyed when sisters Althea (Florida Friebus) and Lucille Nelson (Hope Summers) keep trying to dicker with him. After letting a wooden bowl he made go for 60 centers to Lucille, he throws out the ladies when Althea tries to talk him down on an old lamp. Chico sells Rudy the bartender (Louis Quinn) the decorative radiator cap from a 1932 Pierce-Arrow. Another customer, A. Robert Ralston (Carl Gottlieb), is an antique car collector and offers $25 for an old hubcap. He also tells Ed that he has a friend who collects Pierce-Arrow memorabilia, and mentions that his friend would pay up to $500 for the radiator cap. After Chico tells Ed that he’s already sold it, they go down to the bar to see Rudy. They try to get Rudy to sell it back to them, but Rudy has already sold it… to the Nelson sisters for $50. Ed tries to con the sisters out of the cap by telling them that he was born in that Pierce-Arrow. They force Chico to tell them the truth, and they agree to let them have it back as long as they get half of the profit. When Ralston returns to the garage, he tells the guys that he’s not interested in it since he doesn’t collect Pierce-Arrow items, and that the friend who was interested in stuff like that is dead. Flynn returns to start issuing citation since the junk is still not cleaned up, and it turns out he is interested in the radiator cap. He offers the guys $50 for it, and tells them he will stop writing their citations. They make the deal, and give the Nelson sisters half of the $50. To show them no hard feelings, even though they lost $25 on the deal, the ladies are invited to be taken out for dinner by Chico and Lucille. Chico grabs Althea, and Ed tells Lucille that he’ll get it over with and let her be his date. Paul Lichtman is the drunk at the bar. Eugene “Pineapple” Jackson appears uncredited as a customer at the bar. 9/14/22
• 014. Out of Sight – 1/17/1975
  • Chico catches Ed straining his eyes trying to read a repair manual, before realizing that he is trying to read Japanese. Chico tries to talk Ed into going to an eye doctor to get glasses, but Ed has no interest. They are then visited by a difficult customer (Alma Beltran) who demands that Ed check her oil. He fumbles through that as well since he is unable to see. Later while taking out the trash, Ed witnesses a car accident, and identifies that a man driving a milk truck made a u-turn and crashed into a pancake mix truck, and they both ran into a fire hydrant. When the cops come, Ed decides to retreat to the garage, so he doesn’t have to speak to the cops. Chico tells him that there’s no way that he saw the accident, so he is smart to avoid the cops. Ed then suddenly wants to be witness and tell Officer Kirby (Bruno Kirby) what he saw. He tells the cop that the milk driver was at fault, but then finds out that the driver of the truck is his friend Rudy (Rodolfo Hoyes). Rudy argues with Ed about what he says he saw and tries to tell the officer that Ed is as blind as a bat. Then the customer from earlier returns to tell Ed that she short-changed him, claiming that she gave Ed a $20 bill, but only change for a $10. Ed claims he doesn’t have a $20 bill, but Chico finds that he does in fact have a $20 bill, so they return $10 to the customer. Ed is then forced to admit that his eyes are going, and he tells his friend Rudy that he’s starting to believe he was really in no position to see the accident. The lady customer returns yet again, and admits that she made a mistake, and that she really did give Ed a $10 bill.  Ed tells Rudy and the officer that he needs to recant his testimony, and the officer accuses him of lying to save his friend. He asks that Ed show him where he was standing when he witnessed the accident. Ed shows him where he was, and says the accident took place near a man is currently standing with a newspaper under his arm. The officer says that Ed is far-sighted and that his original testimony was good. Ed changes his mind yet again and tells Rudy that he’s going to have to testify against him. Later, Ed comes back from the doctor and tells Chico that the doctor told him that it could have been nerves that caused him to have bad vision with the $20 bill and proves it by reading a manual perfectly. When Chico claps him on the back, he knocks a new contact lens out of one of Ed’s eyes. 9/14/22
• 015. The Beard – 1/24/1975
  • Ed is anxious to get Chico out of the garage and to his mediation class, only because he is expecting to take a phone call and doesn’t want Chico to hear. The call comes before Chico leaves, and Chico becomes curious why Ed puts on a reel-to-reel tape of a singing barbershop quartet, and then tells Doris Erickson (Audra Lindley) that her husband, and Ed’s old army buddy, Harold (Jim Backus) is there practicing. After beating around the bush, Ed finally admits to Chico that Harold is having an affair and he and Louie have been covering for him for weeks. Chico tells him how unethical that is, and Ed agrees that he feels guilty and is going to tell Harold not to use him to cover for his affair. When Harold shows up to change his clothes for his date, Ed tells him that he’s done covering for him, but Ed blows him off and heads to his date. After Harold leaves, Doris shows up to tell Ed and Louie that she is wise to them covering for Harold. She tells the guys that he has been coming up with excuses for stepping out on her for years, and then proceeds to start flirting with Ed. The next week, Harold shows up again with the same routine, claiming that he had tries to break it off with his girlfriend, but she tries to kill herself over a ledge. Chico tells Harold that this is the last night he’ll allow this to go on. Harold also tells Ed that he suspects that Doris now has a lover. Ed feels guilty even though he hasn’t done anything. Harold heads to his girlfriend and Doris comes back to the garage to flirt with Ed again. This time Harold returns and says he’s broken things off with his girlfriend, but Doris isn’t interested at this point. When he asks Doris who she is sneaking around with, Ed jumps in and admits that it is him, prompting only laughter from Harold. Doris notices that for the first time, Harold is actually jealous. He says that his cheating is like an illness, and Doris admits that she’s always known about it, but was afraid that if she said anything, he’d never come home again. They make up and leave together, although Harold wants to stop at his girl’s house to see if she has jumped. 1/4/22
• 016. If I Were a Rich Man – 1/31/1975
  • Chico is smitten with his latest girlfriend Marilyn Simmons (Louise Williams). He can speak of no one else and is repairing her car for free. They have gone on many dates, and she seems to love him as much as he loves her, and Chico wants to settle down and start a family. He has his friend Mando get a diamond ring wholesale from his uncle. Chico then slips the ring on Marilyn’s car keys and waits for her to find it and then call him. While he is getting ready for their date that night, Marilyn slips into the garage and tells Ed that she doesn’t love Chico but can’t bear to hurt him and wants Ed to tell him the news. Ed then tries to get Mando to tell him the news, so he can say it in Spanish, which sounds so much more appealing to the ear. They test this theory by having Mando tell Louie pieces of bad news in Spanish. Since Louie can’t understand what he is saying, he says that it all sound nice. However, when Mando goes to tell Chico his bad news, instead he tells him all of Louie’s fake bad news. This brings them back to square one, and Ed is forced to tell Chico the bad news. He beats around the bush so long that Marilyn comes back and gives him the news herself. Chico asks if there is someone else, and she says that the ‘someone else’ will be a successful businessman who makes a lot of money. Chico later admits to Ed that he feals like a failure, and Ed tells him that he is twice the mechanic that Ed is, so he should be twice as happy. Furthermore, Ed reminds him that Chico is doing something he loves doing, and that success should be based on that and not money alone. Later. Ed tells Louie that he is worried about Chico’s depression, but then hears Ed singing and a girl cooing inside his van in the garage. After Ed and Louie depart the room, Chico exits the van with Mando, who had been impersonating a girl. 1/4/23
• 017. Ed Steps Out – 2/7/1975
  • A widow named Shirley Shrift (Shelley Winters), who has just bought a bakery in the area, pulls into the garage one day to have them look at the ‘thump’ going on in her car. Her late husband Max had told her to get an itemized list of charges, so Ed takes her literally. He has Chico fix her fuel pump and only charges her one dollar. Shirley tells Chico that Ed reminds her of her husband and that she thinks his moustache makes him distinguished. Shirley leaves to go back to her bakery and grab Ed a cake, while Chico tells Ed that she has a crush on him and tries to convince him to ask her out. Ed says he has no interest in dating again but is secretly flattered. Shirley asks Chico if Ed would buy a ticket for the bakery’s charity ball for liver research. He tells her that Ed is old-fashioned and would want to make the first move rather than her asking him to go. Chico coaches her through asking Ed to buy a ticket but acts as if she has no interest in going. He is then maneuvered into asking her to go to the dance, but then later tells Chico that he is going to back out because Shriley has thick thumbs and smells like powdered sugar. Shirley shows up all dressed and ready to go, leaving Ed speechless with how beautiful she looks. Still, he tells Chico that he has forgotten how to talk to a woman. When Shirley pins a boutonniere on him, he tells her how much it reminds him of his ex-wife Margaret. Shirley then tells the story of how her late husband Max was run over by a snow plow when he went out to get her some cucumbers. When Ed suggests that they head out, she mentions that she thinks he was going to stand her up and wants another drink. Ed admits that he had planned to now go, but when he saw how beautiful she looked, he changed his mind. However, he scolds her for wanting a second drink and tells her that Margaret never had more than one. She gets fed up with him talking about his ex-wife and they both decide to cancel the date. Chico then steps in and tells them that their fight is not about their ex-spouses, but rather about their fear of commitment. They decide to stay in and have their dance at the garage. Later, Shirley helps Ed work on cars, and they make plans for dinner for later than night. Chico asks Ed how he has such a way with women, and he tells him that it is all in the mustache. 6/22/23
• 018. Sammy Stops In – 2/14/1975
  • Actor-singer-dancer Sammy Davis Jr. (himself) stops in the garage to see about his car, which has been stalling. Chico is initially speechless as Sammy tries to explain the issue. Chico is more interested in playing the songs that he wrote for Sammy. Louie then stops by and wants to show off how he can sing and write as well. Sammy tells Chico that if he gets the car fixed, he will listen to all of his songs. When Ed comes down to look at the car, he doesn’t recognize Sammy. However, Sammy recognizes Ed from their days in Vaudeville in the early 1950’s when Ed had worked as a hoofer. Sammy gives Ed credit for his career as he helped Sammy fix his car when he and his father and uncle were heading to New York. Ed refuses to take any credit, but they have a friendly argument over the steps of one of their numbers and they both dance together in the garage as they try to recall it. Mable stops by and thinks that Sammy is merely a Sammy David Jr. look-alike. Once Ed and Chico get the car started, Sammy tries to tip Ed $12 on the $8 bill, which Ed finds insulting. Sammy tries to leave, but Chico tries to hold him to listening to his songs. Sammy tells him to mail him a tape of his music and he will listen to it. Unfortunately, Sammy’s car won’t start again, so Chico then forces him to listen to one of his songs. The song is terrible, but Sammy tells him to send it to him so that he can show it to his publisher. Ed tells him not to lead the boy on and just admit that the song is terrible. Sammy once again pleads with Chico to fix his car. When Ed tells Sammy that he is just leading him on, Sammy invites them both over to dinner at his place and the opportunity to use Sammy’s recording studio to record his music. Ed thinks he just wants to show him off to his friends to show that he’s kept in touch with the commoners. As he tries once again to leave, Louie comes back with a pizza in hopes of rapping some more with Sammy. He throws a fit about how horrible his day has been, but ultimately accepts the invitation to eat with them. As they further discuss the dance moves, Louie joins Sammy and Ed tap dancing while eating the pizza. After everyone has left, Chico asks Ed if he misses his days in show business, and Ed says he does not. After Chico leaves, Ed tries to remember the dance stops while he sits in the garage alone. 7/2/23
• 019. The Doctor Story – 2/21/1975
  • Ed is having issues with his right shoulder and can barely move it. Chico recommends that he see a doctor, but Ed would rather use a concoction made by Mrs. Gordon from the laundromat. Their regular customer Alfred stops by and seems to concur with Ed that doctors are no good. Mabel also stops by with the mail, and when she hangs her mailbag on Ed’s shoulder, it finally convinces him to go see a doctor named Dr. Crowley (Danny Goldman). He is fresh off the baseball field and looks very young in his uniform. Ed immediately is skeptical because of the doctor’s age, and when the doc sends him to the other room for closer examination, Ed escapes out the side door and goes home. Chico suggests that his baseball team plays Crowley’s team sometime. Back at the garage, Ed asks Chico and Mable to assist him with trying acupuncture that he’s read about in an instructional book. He determines from the book that he has clogged meridians. While Ed is gyrating like a hula dancer based on the book’s instructions, another customer (John J. Fox) shows up for a car checkup. The customer’s shoulder has been bothering him as well, so Ed tries to introduce him to his yoga moves. The customer starts questioning Ed’s shoulder issues, but Ed then discovers that the customer is actually a doctor who Chico convinced to come see him, and Ed throws him out. Ed makes Chico promise to never bring a doctor into the garage. Dr. Crowley then shows up to ask Chico if their teams can play baseball. When Ed tells him to leave, his arm gets stuck in a pointing position. Dr. Crowley gives him an injection, but Chico has to put a tire around Ed’s arm so he can’t see it being inserted. Ed immediately feels better, and the doctor says that when he has is Bursitis. Ed is happy that he can now apply Mrs. Gordon’s salve on his own. Ed spends some time in the hospital and finally receives the check-up he hasn’t had since World War 2. He feels well enough to play around and box with Chico, but then Chico throws out his shoulder. Leslie Paxton is the nurse. 10/19/23
• 020. The Giveaway – 2/28/1975
  • Chico can hardly stay awake at work, and Ed attributes it to him staying out all night with his girlfriend Patty for the past six weeks. Meanwhile, Chico has an idea for a sales gimmick of giving away a free Presidential collector plate with every sales of twelve gallons of gas. Chico says that they can get the plates on sixty-day consignment, but when the delivery man (Tony Cacciotti) brings them, Ed sees Chico pay him $142 in cash. When Patty stops by, Ed overhears her asking Chico asking her why he hasn’t been available to see her for weeks. Ed starts to become suspicious as to where the Chico is getting the money to pay for the plates. Louie stops by, and he and Ed speculate where the money is coming from. Ed thinks that perhaps Chico has been saving the money, and must be broke by now. However, when Ed asks Chico to borrow $20, he pulls out a big wad of bills and lends it to him freely. Ed thinks Chico is an honest man, but Louie suggests that he may be stealing the money. Ed starts questioning Chico where he has been for the past few nights, but Chico keeps evading the question. Later, a new priest in town named Father O’Malley (Roger C. Carmel) stops by the garage and introduces himself. He also mentions to Ed that there have been several robberies in the area in recent days. Ed pulls Chico from his van and starts demanding to know what Chico has been doing at nights and begins to smash the Presidential plates while waiting for an answer. Chico still won’t tell him, but then a customer (Tim Herbert) stops by the garage and recognizes Chico because he’s been working a night shift at another garage, making it clear that Chico has been working extra in order to invest in promotions for Ed’s garage. Ed throws the customer out and tells him that he’s interfering in a family argument. Later, Chico tries to make arrangements to go out with Patty again, but she calls him and tells him that she won’t be able to see him again for another week. Ed pulls out the checkerboard to keep him entertained. 10/21/23
• 021. Louie’s Retirement – 3/7/1975
  • While Ed is working on a radiator that squirts him in the face, Chico uses Ed’s finger to help him tie up the ribbon on the gift he has bought for Louie to celebrate his retirement. Ed and Chico get into an argument over the nature of retirement, with Ed envying his retirement, while Chico thinks that being out of work makes one age faster. Louie stops by the garage with his car all stocked up for travel supplies. Chico gives him his gift, a key chain shaped like a garbage can that has a flashlight, pen knife, and corkscrew built in. Ed gives him a certificate for free car repair in his retirement. Louie meets the new garbage man (Damian London) on his first day and gives him an unwanted critique of how he is doing the job. Ed and Chico decide to get back to work and encourage Louie to have a good time with his retirement. Instead of leaving, Louie sticks around to have a cup of coffee and winds up getting in the guys’ hair, accidentally puncturing a tire that Chico is working on and electrocuting Ed with the battery he is working on. Three days later, Louie is still coming around to the garage to hang out with the guys. Chico tries to offer up ideas of things that Louie could do with his retirement, but Louie gets into work coveralls and then admits that he has started advertising that he will wax cars at the garage. This is the last straw for Ed, and he tells Louie to leave. Chico is worried that Ed has just cost himself a twenty-year friendship. Louie returns and tells Ed that he has the lowest class of garbage in the neighborhood. Chico forces Ed to go over to see Louie and bring him some flowers. Louie isn’t so quick to accept the apology, and but then he himself apologizes for all of the bad things that he said about Ed around the neighborhood. Ed says that he had the right to throw him out because Louie needs to find a way to have fun, not hang around the garage like it is a playground. Their fight starts all over, and Ed storms out. Later, Louie shows up at the garage and asks Ed to look over his car before he heads to the mountains in Palm Springs. The two make up again, and Ed suggests that Louie go back into the garbage business. Louie decides to go to the union hall and ask if he can return to work. However, Louie’s car won’t start, and Ed tells him that he’ll have to pay for the repairs, as the gift was only good as long as Louie is retired. Herbie Faye is Louie’s friend Bernie. 2/24/24
• 022. Long Live the Man – 3/14/1975
  • Ed and Chico return from an auto show in San Francisco, only to find that Mando, who was supposed to be looking after the garage, has closed it down to attend a funeral. Chico and Ed assume that Mando’s grandmother has died, but Mando says that it is not her funeral, and when he sees Ed, he faints to the floor. It turns out that The Times has reported that Ed Brown has died. Although the paper was reporting on another Ed Brown’s death, they described him using Ed’s life as a garage owner. Chico suggests that Ed not reveal himself right away to Louie until Chico can talk to him, as he doesn’t want to give him a heart attack. Louie is thrilled to see Ed again, and he tells Ed how broken up everyone in the neighborhood was upset about his death. Gino the shoemaker sang two arias and gave Louie Ed’s pair of shoes. Rudy the bartender bought everyone a drink, even though it was only Louie and himself in the bar. Mrs. O’Brien named a sandwich after him at the delicatessen. However, after Ed sends Mando to his funeral to let everyone know that he is alive, Mando returns and tells that there was no one at the funeral to see him. Mabel stops by and is thrilled to see that Ed is alive, but he is upset that she didn’t bother to be at the funeral. When Ed gets depressed and goes up to lay down, Father O’Malley (Roger C. Carmel) stops by to deliver the flowers from the funeral. He tells Chico and Louie how many people were at the funeral, but they all left when O’Malley mentioned in the speech that Ed Brown was known by his Indian name Chief White Cloud. The crowd then realized that it was a different Ed Brown and everyone scattered to leave the funeral, leaving only about six mourners for the actual deceased. Chico then gets the idea to hold their own funeral in the garage to honor Ed. When Ed comes downstairs, they sing For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow to him, prompting him to tell them all to leave. Chico then explains why the funeral had been empty of all of his friends. They hold the service, and Chico talks about what a great worker he is and how much he appreciates all Ed has done for him. He says how much he loved him, and how much everyone loves him. Louie then leads them in a rendition of When the Saints Go Marching In, as they all march into the house. Ed then guides them right back out of the house and orders them to leave. That night, Ed gets up in the middle of the night to look at his flowers, and Chico hears him and joins him. After Ed thanks him for what he did for him, Chico asks Ed what he would say at the funeral if Chico were to die. Ed can’t get the eulogy out without Chico yelling out ‘Hallelujah!’ NOTE: Jack Collins is credited as appearing but does not appear in the syndicated version of the episode. 2/24/24

SEASON 2

• 023. The Paint Job – 9/12/1975
  • A man named Dwayne Devine (Rich Little) pulls into the garage to speak to Ed but has a hard time communicating because of a stutter. However, he is able to speak clearly when doing celebrity impressions, so he gets his point across while imitating Paul Lynde, Peter Falk, Cary Grant, Kirk Douglas, Richard Nixon, and Liberace. He explains that he’d like to use the side of Ed’s garage to have mural painted by a local artist for a city contest. Ed declines the request initially, but Chico asks if he will let him do it for him, and he finally agrees. The next morning, Louie stops by and is up in arms because there are nude people painted on the mural. Chico sees it as well, but thinks it is tasteful. A passing Reverend Bemis (Ronny Graham) thinks it is a painting of Samson and demands that the painting stay. Ed wants it to go, which leads to bickering between him and Chico. The stuttering Devine returns and is able to talk using impressions of John Wayne and Jean Stapleton trying to intervene and mediate their argument. When Chico tells Ed that he is too close-minded and that he is going to pack up his things and leave, Devine uses Chico’s voice to apologize the Ed through the door, and then uses Ed’s voice to apologize to Chico through his rear car door. Both men accept the apology and embrace. When Chico and Ed start to argue about who apologized first, Devine breaks in with impressions of Hubert Humphrey and Ed Sullivan to distract them. Devine offers to help get the painting judged and removed, but Chico thinks that Ed should apologize to the Reverend Bemis. When Ed refuses, Chico asks Devine to use Bemis’s voice to call and apologize to Ed, who appreciates it but thinks that he should really apologize to Louie. Chico, who has been able to match many of Devine’s impressions, then does his own of Louie to tell him that Bemis has apologized to him. Just then, Reverend Bemis and Louie come walking into the garage arguing. When Ed catches Devine and Chico on the phone, he goes outside and splashes paint all over the mural. When the judge, Emmett Waldo (William Trego), shows up, Devine uses the voice of James Mason to introduce him, but he thinks the painting is terrible and looks like it has been vandalized. Chico simulates the voice of a haughty art critic and tells him the painting is all about vandalism. Waldo awards the best painting award to Devine and gives a plaque to Ed for his contribution. Devine does a Humphrey Bogard impersonation, followed by one from Ed of James Cagney calling them all dirty rats. Later, Ed has the mural removed, but Chico again criticizes him and tells him that it doesn’t matter what you paint, it can be beautiful to someone. Ed takes this as a cue to paint Chico’s face, which is met in kind by Chico. 7/9/24
• 024. This Hallowed Garage – 9/19/1975
  • A man named Daniel Hanratty (Jonathan Daly) from the City Planning Commission comes to the garage to serve Ed a notice of eviction, after having tried to reach him through mail for the past two years. With the city planning to put up a power station on his location, he insists that he will return in 48 hours with a bulldozer. Ed grabs his old rifle and plans to defend his property. He rallies support from Reverend Bemis and Louie, and they all go to meet with Commissioner Vickers (Barbara Cason) to make their case on behalf of Ed. Even after the Reverend and Louie speak their mind, and Chico gives her a neighborhood petition with just eight signatures, with four of them being Chico’s, the Commissioner’s decision remains for Ed Brown to vacate the premises. Ed makes a pathetic-old-man speech, but then tells her with fiery resolve that they will never take his garage. He goes home and sets up a barricade and stands firm with his rifle. After the Reverend and Chico try to get him to protest in a peaceful way, Ed finally decides to simply give up and go up and go to sleep in his room when the bulldozers come. Chico gets an idea to point out the history of the building, so he calls a rabble rouser editor named Hymie Guevara (Ray Andrade), Louie, Reverend Bemis, Commissioner Vickers, and Daniel Hanratty to gathering at the garage. The Reverend gives a presentation dedicated to Father Junipero Serra, founder of eight of the California missions. With both Louie and Ed dressed in period attire, they dedicate a wall at the garage to a wall where he once supposedly rested. Although Hanratty maintains they cannot prove he stopped there, Chico counters that he cannot prove that he didn’t. In order to stave off the bad press from Guevara, the Commissioner abandons the order for Ed to vacate the garage. Hanratty tells Chico that he should abandon his job as a mechanic and come work with them in the government. 7/9/24
• 025. Aunt Connie – 9/26/1975
  • Chico receives a visit from his Aunt Connie (Angelina Estrada) from New York, and she tells him that she has one $150,000 in the lottery and plans to travel Europe and would like to take Chico with her. Ed meets her and is instantly smitten by her flirtation and the way that she calls him ‘Eduardo’. Ed asks Chico if he will try to get her to postpone her Europe trip so that he can get to know her. Chico agrees, and the three of them plan to have dinner together so that Chico can make up a lie about having to be with his girlfriend Carmella’s birthday party. She agrees to postpone the trip for a couple of days, but Chico and Ed convince her so well that he and Carmella are so in love that she thinks it wouldn’t be good for them to separate. Connie and Ed dance, and he sings Besame Mucho to her, she asks Ed to accompany her to Europe. Ed jumps at the chance but thinks that if they are going to travel to Europe together, they should get married. Chico jokes about the fact that Ed will become his uncle. Ed brings in Reverend Bemis to ask him about officiating the wedding. They also discuss what Ed can say to win her hand, so Bemis gives him some quotes from the Book of Psalms. Ed arranges for dinner with Connie and brings along Chico, Reverend Bemis, and Louie. They clumsily try to prod him to move ahead with the proposal, so he finally gets her onto the dancefloor to nervously make his proposal. However, she snaps back at him that she has no interest in getting married after already having been married three times. She says she is interested in a ‘trip’, and not a ‘trap’. Ed is offended and tells her that she can just go to Europe alone, but she quickly turns to Reverend Bemis to ask him to accompany her. 11/9/24
• 026. Play Gypsy – 10/3/1975
  • Ed receives a visit from a gypsy named Miklos Negulescu (Avery Schreiber) from Philadelphia, who claims to be the son of a late gypsy named Sasha, who told his son Miklos that if he was ever in trouble that Ed Brown would repay his debt of honor and help him. Ed does in fact remember Sasha, who once saved his life when a jeep flipped over on Ed during the war and Sasha picked up the jeep and got it off of him. Ed offers Miklos a little bit of money, but Miklos doesn’t want money but rather to be trained to become a mechanic, believing that he wasn’t made for the gypsy art of swindling people. Ed is reluctant, but Chico convinces him to give it a try. Ten days later, Miklos seems to destroy everything he touches. He also makes numerous silly purchases for the garage on Ed’s dime. One customer, a district attorney named H.R. Bernstein (Bill McLean) even threatens to sue Ed due to the hack job that Miklos did on the engine of his car. Ed decides that he needs to fire Miklos, but Chico has the idea to give him confidence to become a gypsy swindler. Chico does some research on gypsy swindles and comes up with a plan for Ed to tell him that he dreamt he was cursed. Chico has to feed Miklos the idea for the swindle, but as soon as Miklos recalls it, he set up his own gypsy fortune-telling area in the garage. The plan is for Ed to bring along $200 in an envelope, and then after checking to see if there is blood inside of an egg, to do a spell to un-curse Ed’s money and return it to him. The trick is that he will return an envelope with shredded up newspaper and abscond with Ed’s money. Miklos clumsily goes through the ritual, with Chico helping every step of the way. Once he ‘un-curses’ the money, he hands Ed a different envelope and warns him not to open it until the next morning. He then quickly packs up and leaves home for Philadelphia. As soon as he is gone, Ed predicts that he will be back soon, as he has handed Ed his ticket to Philly. Later, Miklos returns yet again, disheveled and broken, and tells the guys that he was swindled out of his money by a man with a shell game and was beaten by an old lady whose fortune he tries to tell. Ed immediately starts to come up with another curse for Miklos to cure him of. 11/9/24

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