SEASON 1 – CBS
Created by Tom Hertz
Theme song: “How Many Ways” performed by Senor Happy
- 001. Pilot – 2/3/2007
- Russell Dunbar (David Spade), a New York real estate manager meets his friend and coworker Adam Rhodes (Oliver Hudson) at the Island Diner, where Adam reveals that he has asked his girlfriend Jennifer Morgan (Bianca Kajlich) to move in with him and eventually marry him. Jennifer is friends with Audrey Bingham (Megyn Price), who has been married to Jeff (Patrick Warburton) for nearly a dozen years. Audrey hopes that Jeff will set a good example for being a husband to Adam. As Adam moves his stuff into Jennifer’s apartment, he reveals to Jeff that she had no room for his Mets memorabilia. He is also taken aback somewhat that she has already started a wedding registry, but he admits to Jeff that he is excited that she has a cake pan on it, since that implies he’ll get cake frequently. Jeff warns him that there will be no cake, nor many of the other things he is expecting, and also warns that sex has been replaced by watching The Late Show with David Letterman. Adam goes to the store and buys cake ingredients, but Jennifer tells him that she really doesn’t bake. A slight argument ensues, and it becomes apparent that Adam is having second thoughts about the proposal. Everyone goes to an art show together, mostly because of the open bar. Russell is set up on a blind date with Jennifer’s friend Karen Williams (Lauren Stamile), but while he waits for her, he flirts with the cocktail waitress Candy (Audra Blaser). Audrey is irritated with Jeff because he wants to get rid of her bike that she hasn’t used in two years, while she misses riding with him since he got rid of his bike. As he tries to figure out how to make it better. Adam is hit on by another girl at the art show named Sarah (Smith Cho). As the girl is chatting with him, he notice Jennifer across the gallery, and falls in love all over. The recognize they will have differences, but when they ask an elderly couple named Margaret (Gloria LeRoy) and Henry (Don Perry) to interpret a painting and they describe it the same way, they are convinced they will grow to see eye to eye as well. However after Adam and Jennifer walk away, Margaret berates her husband for always just saying what she says. Adam and Jennifer go home and she makes him a cake, but gives him a raincheck on sex, and suggests that he watch Letterman. Jeff is caught looking at bike sales online, but instead of selling her bike, he is looking for one of his own so they can ride together again. That earns him some love making… but only once. Despite a nice date with Karen, Russell brings Candy home. Despite staring at Karen’s business card while Candy chatters away, he tosses it aside when she asks to go at it a second time. 11/8/20
- 002. The Birthday Deal – 2/12/2007
- Jeff’s birthday is coming up and Audrey is planning his party, an event that doesn’t thrill him but he allows because it makes Audrey happy. When she is happy, he is able to get his once-a-birthday deal, which he will not reveal to his friends. Since Audrey knows that Jeff doesn’t care about his party, she realizes she can throw the kind of party she likes, so she goes with a Cuban thing. Jeff tries to bite his tongue when he sees the amount of money that she is spending in order to keep her happy. Meanwhile Adam gets wind of the birthday deal and decides he wants one from Jennifer. She is not only game, but decides she wants one herself. Jeff warns him that he better be careful what he wishes for, as he may never look at her the same if her deal is too dirty. Russell spends most of his time at the party trying to find out what Jeff’s birthday deal is, and manages to irritate both Jeff and Audrey. Jeff finally can’t keep silent about the expensive champagne that Audrey bought and he lectures her, only to feel bad when she tells him that she bought it so she could toast him for being such a generous husband and friend. To make up for it, he uses the champagne to toast her instead for putting together the wonderful party. Adam is relieved when Jennifer reveals her birthday deal, which only involves breakfast in bed, a massage, and watching The Notebook. He reciprocates with one of the sexual activities from a list that Russell had provided him . It is revealed that Jeff’s deal is that they go to the location of their first date and re-create it… which involves him sneaking into the women’s restroom with her. Sharon Brathwaite is the waitress. James Castle Stevens in the waiter. 11/9/20
- 003. Young and the Restless – 2/19/2007
- Russell begins dating a 24-year old lifeguard named Dani (Maitland Ward) by telling her that he is 27, and Jeff makes has no qualms about fawning all over her right in front of Audrey, which leads her to dump his pie on his seat and storm out of the restaurant. He promises never to leave her for a 24-year old girl, but she only laughs in his face. She tells him that he has her permission to go out and see if he can pick up a younger girl. He hits the bar, but immediately tells the first girl, Beth (Candace Kroslak) that he’s married. Russell tries to help him out by bringing along one of Dani’s friends named Tawney (Rachelle Wood), but Jeff insists he wants to prove this to himself. Eventually he gets the number of a young, attractive girl named Bonnie (Lauren Rose Lewis). After talking to Jennifer, Audrey realizes she might have made a mistake, so she goes to see Jeff at the bar and the two of them apologize to each other for taking the other for granted. He tells Audrey that he never got a number, and he tosses Bonnie’s on the table… where Russell makes sure to grab it. Meanwhile Adam gets his old bed out of storage since the one he is using with Jennifer is too small and he can’t sleep. She refuses to use it however because he had bought it with his old girlfriend Sonya. He agrees to get rid of it, along with a chair that they bought together. However when she comments that he’s a bigger person than her because he doesn’t mind the bed that she slept with guys in, he starts to feel jealous as well. They both begin throwing things out that they’ve used with other lovers, only to spite each other. Eventually Jennifer shows him an empty box, and tells him that one day they’ll put all of the items that are meaningful to their relationship inside, and it will dwarf the box of old things from past lovers. She even agrees to keep the Sonya bed… as long as he stops calling it that. Dani finally catches on that Russell is much older once she sees him dance. 2/8/21
- 004. Game On – 2/26/2007
- Adam gets a new gaming system that both and he and Russell are obsessed with, but Jennifer isn’t too happy when she finds out it cost $500. She thinks they should make major financial decisions together, but Russell points out to Adam that she probably spends several hundred dollars each months on getting her hair done and beauty supplies. When she head to a hair coloring appointment, Adam brings this up to her, so she agrees to do her own hair, and he agrees to sell the gaming system to Russell. However when she winds up getting her hair dye all over the bathroom and Adam’s eye, they agree to cut money other ways. Adam doesn’t think Russell will get the game system back, but when Russell starts turning down sex with a woman (Tammin Sursok), he realizes he is addicted and gives it back to Adam. Meanwhile, Audrey receives a promotion at work, but Jeff seems less than enthused. Initially Audrey thinks it is because Jeff had a bad week at work, but it turns out he was in a bad mood because the Knicks lost. She finds it ridiculous that his mood and their relationship can fluctuate based on how the Knicks play. He offers to make it up to her by taking her to a Knicks game that he’s gotten floor seats for. She agrees to go, but at the last minute she can’t find anything to wear that looks good on her. He points out that her mood also fluctuates based on how she thinks her clothes look. She takes his point, and lets him put her in an oversized jersey to go to the game. 2/8/21
- 005. Kids – 3/5/2017
- Adam and Jennifer are planning an out-of-town getaway, something they can do while they’re young and don’t have kids. They discuss this with Jeff and Audrey, who don’t really have a good answer why they’ve not had kids yet. All the while, the guys seem jealous that Russell is free to do whatever he wants. Russell runs into an old neighbor of his named Constance Williams (Jessica Walter), with whom he had a fling on his eighteenth birthday. He didn’t last very long in bed with her, when her cat Snuffles jumped on his back. He wants the opportunity to prove himself again to her even though she’s now sixty…but once again, her cat jumps on his back. Meanwhile, as Adam and Jennifer are waiting for their rental car, they discuss their future plans and find that they are in 100% agreement on everything… until it comes up that she wants to work after having kids, and he wants her to be a stay-at-home mother. They get in an argument and call off the trip, while Adam takes the rental car out to drive by himself. Jeff and Audrey agree that they want to have kids, so they decide since they’ve had no success in the past, to go see a fertility doctor (Richard McGonagle), and Adam, while taking forever, produces a sperm sample to be tested. Adam finally returns home after the car gets towed, and argues with Jennifer about not looking so forward into the future. The argument boils over until they wind up in the bedroom. Jeff finds out that his sperm are ‘slow swimmers’, so they take some advice from the doctor for things they can do to speed them up. Adam and Jeff later share their sex battle wounds with each other, then they see all of the scratches on Russell, and declare him the ‘winner’. However he says the cat made him last longer, so she says he’s the best she ever had. Constance then comes up to Russell in the diner, having completely forgotten that they’ve seen each other since he was eighteen. Cyndi Martino is the rental agent. 6/3/21
- 006. Hard Day’s Night – 3/12/2007
- Russell makes eyes at a teacher named Mrs. O’Brien (Andrea Lynn Silvers) on the playground and goes over to meet her, but unfortunately is stopped in his tracks by a grade-school bully (Colby Paul), who makes fun of his paleness. Meanwhile, Jeff stops by at Adam’s to deliver a shirt, and winds up hurting his back when he attempts to help Jennifer move the couch. She gives him a massage, but it is cut off quickly when he gets an erection. He leaves quickly, but neither of them know how to react. When he gets home, he stops Audrey quickly when she tries to seduce him. Jennifer finds things awkward around Jeff, so she decides to tell Audrey what happened. Audrey doesn’t know quite how to react either, although Jennifer insists that its a natural physical reaction. Jeff tries to get some advice from Russell, who encourages him not to tell Audrey. Adam goes with Russell to the school yard where he too becomes a target of the bully, who insults him by telling him that he’s pretty like a girl. Adam then becomes self-conscious and wants to look tougher. Jeff comes home and gives Audrey diamond earrings in order to assuage his guilt, but she lets him know that she already knows the truth. Audrey eventually forgives him, but makes him promise to not let women massage him and says she’s keeping the earrings. Adam shows up acting angry about the incident and challenges Jeff to a fight, hoping to get a busted nose so he can look tougher. Russell and Adam return to the schoolyard, but the bully insults both of them, to the amusement of each other. He then caps it off by telling Mrs. O’Brien that the men called him a bad name, which kills Russell’s chances of getting a date with her. 6/3/21
- 007. Jeff’s Wooby – 3/19/2007
- Audrey is cleaning out their closets and happens upon Jeff’s old t-shirts from his college days, each of which represents a fond memory from his old days. Since he doesn’t want to lose the memory of the events, Audrey makes the shirts into a giant quilt. He still doesn’t care for it, but as he starts using it, the quilt triggers the fond memories in his head… until he devolves into only recalling his college days as the best days of his life. Meanwhile, Jennifer convinces Adam to clear out his storage garage and bring his old things over to their apartment. But as she goes through his old things and sees that two of his prom dates were Polynesian, she starts to questions their relationship, thinking he has a preference for Polynesian girls, and that this is why he hasn’t actually proposed to her yet. Russell starts dating an attractive girl named Jesse (Maggie Lawson), and gets a kick out of the fact the constantly uses sexual double entendres. However, it starts to not be so funny after a while of her not having actual sex with him. Everyone goes out to a Polynesian bar so Jennifer can see how Adam responds. While there Audrey calls out Jeff for living in the past, when he starts chatting with a guy (Marc Goldsmith) about his life in the 80’s. Russell counts the sexual entendres that Jesse uses, and comes up with 69… but then is forced to add a 70th. He breaks it off with her. When Adam seems to be obsessed with a Polynesian waitress (Jessica Rey), Jennifer calls him out about their relationship not seeming to advance. Adam responds by taking her to the bar where they first me, and gives her an engagement ring, although neither is rushed to set the actual date. Larissa Miller is the woman. 10/2/21
SEASON 2
- 008. Flirting with Disaster – 9/24/2007
- Audrey is not getting enough sleep thanks to Jeff’s snoring, and when he won’t get the nose operation needed to make it stop. Audrey banishes him to guest room for the night since she has to be early the next day. She gets a great night sleep, but Jeff barely sleeps at all since he is up watching Steven Segal movies and eating snacks. Meanwhile, Russell flirts with a new waitress named Amy (Rachel Boston) at the Island Diner. He seems to be doing well until Adam shows up and steals his thunder. Russell and Adam then start competing to see who flirts the best, and Adam is the clear winner. When they tell Jennifer about this, she is upset that Amy was left thinking that Adam is interested in her, so she goes to the diner the next visit so that he can introduce her to Amy, so she knows that he is engaged. However she continues to flirt with him and alludes to her be willing to be ‘something new’ for him to try. Later he receives a cherry pie with a note from Amy, again alluding to him trying something different. Russell convinces him that he should talk to Amy to let her know for sure that he is not interested. He decides to follow Russell’s advice, so he goes to the diner to clear the air. Amy has no idea what he was talking about, and says that she only flirts with her customers because she works for tips. It turns out that it was Russell who sent the pie to his apartment. Jeff keeps using the guest room as his own party central and has the guys over for drinks and music deep into the night. Audrey is finally able to talk him into getting the surgery so she can get him back in their bed. They go to sleep together that night, but since Jeff continues to snore, she winds up in guest room eating snacks and watching Segal movies. Andrew Aguilar makes his first of eight uncredited appearances as the busboy. 10/3/21
- 009. Audrey’s Sister – 10/1/2007
- Audrey’s sister Barbara (Heather Locklear) comes for a visit. Audrey thinks Barb and her husband Rick have the perfect relationship, and is disappointed that Rick isn’t coming this time. Jeff is on vacation for the week, and is disappointed that he can’t enjoy the weekend alone. He discusses this with Adam and Russell, and Adam admits that he loves it sometimes when Jen isn’t there as well. Audrey hears Barb tell Rick on the phone that she’s checking into a hotel, and she admits that she told him she’s on a business trip, and that they’re having problems. She says that Rick is too much into his image, and that she regrets not sowing her wild oats. Jeff tells Russell about the issues Barb is having, so he begins to conspire to get a date with her. Audrey, however, explicitly forbids him trying to hit on her. Adam is thrilled when he comes home and Jen isn’t there, but when she comes home, he really becomes aware of how much she is annoying him. He talks her into going out, but she returns right away with Audrey with her. Adam goes to visit with Jeff to watch a game he recorded, but Barb had recorded something else. Audrey finds out that Russell has taken Barb out for a night on the town. The two of them have a great time at dinner, and the on to playing Guitar Hero at a bar. Barb enjoys his company so much that she kisses him onstage while playing Guitar Hero with him. Back home, Audrey is worried to death. They finally come in late, and Audrey pounces on Russell, but Barb tells her that Russell turned her down when she hit on him and gave her advice that she should try to work things out with Rick. Jeff privately asks Russell what his angle, and Russell says that he’s hoping the marriage will fizzle out and then she’ll come back to him for something long term. Jeff says he’s not buying it and that Russell might just be a good guy after all. 3/27/22
- 010. Mr. Fix-It – 10/8/2007
- As Adam and Jen are dividing up their closet space, they find an old video camera and decide to tape themselves having sex. After watching it, however, they find themselves to be disgusting. Meanwhile Audrey is upset when a lady (Jill Getto Lee) on the elevator repeatedly won’t respond to her. Jeff wants to find a way to fix it, and offers to talk to the lady, but Audrey doesn’t want him to do anything other than listen to her. Russell is using a texting dating service, whereby they text for a while before deciding whether to meet in person. He’s found a woman named Jill (Jennifer Alden) who LOL’s everything he say, so he believes she thinks he’s hilarious and decides to meet her. Russell also gives Jeff advice to pretend to be angrier than Audrey is every time someone makes her mad. When Audrey tells Jeff about a co-worker named Trish who is moving to Tampa, which upsets her. Since Jeff is only paying half-attention, he pretends to be enraged by Trish moving away. Adam turns to Russell to see how to correctly make a sex tape, but he is no help. Adam keeps watching the video to figure out how to improve his game. The whole thing also cause him to become unable to sleep with her. Jeff finally meets the woman who won’t say hello, and he asks her to do him a favor and say hello to Jen. Russell finally meets Jen in person, and finds that she laughs at absolutely everything he says, as well as anything that Jen says. Russel admits that he thought she was perfect, but that some things are best left to the imagination. This gives Jen an idea to create a film of her doing yoga, which is more apt to turn Adam on… which she does successfully. Jeff and Audrey run into the woman on the elevator, and she says hello to Audrey…. but then asks Jeff if he’s happy now. This irritates Audrey even more, but Jeff admits that he feels like he has to fix things when his wife is unhappy, but he promises he’ll try to do better. 3/27/22
- 011. Guy Code – 10/15/2007
- Russell desperately wants to sleep with his new administrative assistant Danielle (Mircea Monroe), but his father at the company added a new rule about dating fellow employees on the day that he hired Russell. He knows that firing her will upset her and he will lose his chance, so he sends her over to work for Adam. Although her performance is poor, and every call she answers, she says a quote to win a radio contest, but Adam won’t fire her out of principle, so he tries to work closely with her to improve her job performance. Meanwhile, Audrey had a new friend named Katy (Bess Meyer), and she wants Jeff to meet her husband Ray (Tom Conlon). Adam has very little interest, but they hit it off fairly well the first night hanging out, and Jeff sees potential for a friendship. In fact while the wives are watching Project Runway, the go out to watch the game at a sports bar… but once they leave the house, Ray takes Jeff to a strip club. Jeff comes home and admits it to Audrey, who has no problem with it, but she does have a problem when Jeff tells her that Ray received a special costly favor from one of the strippers’ hands. It really bothers Audrey that Jeff doesn’t think it is a big deal, but Jeff insists that he can’t tell anyone about it because of the ‘guy code’ and the only reason her told her was because of their ‘marriage code’. Later while they are enjoying their Skybox seats at the Knicks game, Ray doesn’t cover for Jeff when he starts eating cheese sticks, despite the fact that Audrey wants him on a low cholesterol diet, and in fact purposely gives it away because he thinks it is funny. Jeff doesn’t think it is cool and tells him that he could easily tell Katy what he did at the strip club. She overhears them talking and wants to know what it is, and Ray somehow is able to lie and cover for himself. Jeff is glad to be rid of him as a friend. Although Jennifer has been encouraging Adam to foster Danielle’s growth so that Russell doesn’t get what he wants, Russell invites her to the office so that she can see how good looking Danielle is. It doesn’t take long before Jennifer encourages Adam to fire her. Instead, she starts coming to the office every day to have lunch with Adam. Russell calls Danielle and poses as a radio jockey and tells her that she’s won a lot of money and to quit her job. 7/28/22
- 012. Bag Ladies – 10/22/2007
- After Audrey has a night out with girlfriends, Jeff questions whether she ever talks about their sex lives, and she has very little that she’s offered other than comparisons to his chest hair and a rain forest. He is annoyed that her stories aren’t better, and threatens to start telling his friends sex tales as well. Meanwhile, Russell meets a younger girl named Claire (Katie Walder) who is playing guitar in the park. He begins sleeping with her, but notices that she seems ravenous whenever they eat. Jennifer buys a stylish satchel for Adam which he considers to feminine, but wears in order not to hurt her feelings. When the guys meet at the diner, they naturally make fun of Adam’s bag. Russell talks about his exploits with Claire, but Jeff still can’t come up with anything exciting to talk about. The next time he is shopping with her, he tries to seduce her in the dressing room. She isn’t into that, especially when the lady and her grandmother in the neighboring rooms can hear them, so they head to the Windsor Suites. However, they are more lured by the free happy hour sushi buffet, the Spider-Man 3 movie on TV, and the comfortable bed. They wind up sleeping all night and never having sex. They feel secure enough to just go home and have sex as normal, that they simply go back to sleep. Adam and Jennifer make a date to see a movie with Russell and Claire. Jennifer shoves drinks and snacks in Adam’s new bag, and then put her own things in there so she doesn’t need to bring her purse. During the movie, Claire confides in Jennifer that she just bounces from place to place and is actually homeless. Adam then tells Russell, but he decides to keep her around so he can be her hero providing her shelter. Adam sees another man named Nick (Alex Ball) with a bag like his, so he starts to feel better about carrying his around… until he sees Tim kiss his boyfriend. When the guys meet in the diner again, Jeff starts to tell them about his sexual roleplay at home, but they have no interest in the exploits of a married guy. When Adam finds a tampon in his bag, he gives the bag to Russell to use to take leftovers home for Claire home from the diner. Russell later finds Claire in the subway station playing guitar with a guy named Tim (Tom O’Keefe), and she breaks it off with Russell. He gives Claire the leftovers and Nick, who thinks it is stylish, the bag. 7/29/22
- 013. Old School Jeff – 10/29/2007
- Adam invites Jeff to go watch a pay-per-view fight at McDuffy’s and he accepts, but then Audrey reminds him that he’s supposed to go to her boss Susan’s (Maria McCann) wedding that night. After he expresses his lack of interest in the wedding, Audrey changes her mind and tells him he doesn’t have to go. Since Adam and Jeff will be watching the fight, Jennifer offers to go to the wedding with Audrey. Jeff mentions that this will take him back to ‘old school’ Jeff. Audrey clarifies what that means for Adam, telling him that the stages will be beer, then Scotch, Jeff begging to be challenged to perform feats, which will then turn to physical feats, and usually wind up with Jeff and the person he is with being put in a holding cell. Adam later tells Russell how he is going to try and keep Jeff as sober as possible to keep himself out of jail. On the night of the fight, it winds up ending after a minute, so Jeff moves on to drinking. Russell abandons his date and shows up to the bar to encourage Jeff to drink more, both to see him act stupid and to use him as his muscle, as Russell plans to hustle some big guys in a pool game. Meanwhile at the wedding, Jennifer starts seeing how nice things are and keeps texting Adam photos of all of the nice, expensive things she wants to add to their wedding. Jeff tries to convince Adam that if he just agrees to it, eventually Audrey will change her mind and drop the ideas. When Susan and her new husband walk into the reception, Audrey makes fun of her back fat, which is caught on camera by Susan’s young nephew Judd (Zach Mills). Audrey tries to get Judd to erase the tape, but he will only do it if she shows him her boobs. He’s not interested in Jennifer because she’s too flat. Audrey says she’ll give him pointers on how to make women interested in him, so they will voluntarily show him their boobs. She then tells him how men have always impressed her when they can make a big gesture that makes them look foolish just to prove how much they love her. As Jeff gets drunker, he moves into his physical challenge mode when he tries to fight Russell and picks up Adam. Then he starts to feel bad about not going to the wedding with Audrey. Russell hustles a pool player (Richard Augustine) and his friends, but they realize they’ve been hustled, they threaten to beat up Russell. He tries to call Jeff over, but he’s left the bar and headed to the reception, where he sings Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car for Audrey, embarrassing himself and Audrey, but still managing to flatter her and turn her on. Judd agrees to record over Audrey’s comment with footage of Jeff singing. Judd then finally agrees to see Jennifer’s boobs instead. She declines him but is flattered by the invitation. Dave Sebastian Willimas is the TV sports announcer. 11/27/2022
- 014. Engagement Party – 11/5/2007
- Adam is having serious problems with his toaster, so he and Jennifer agree to take Audrey up on her longstanding offer to throw them an engagement party so that they can register and get new ‘stuff’. Jeff forces Adam to admit that they’re only having the party for the gifts, and he insists on going along to help register so that he can get some loot out of the deal. Meanwhile, Audrey’s sister Barbara comes back for a visit not that her divorce if final. When she arrives, she is ready to party, so she goes out for a night on the town with Russell. They continue to hang out, take walks, and get closer until Russell is forced to admit to Adam and Jeff that he really likes and respects her and hasn’t been interested in other women. One night after Barbara and Russell go out, Jeff and Audrey hear that Barbara has brought someone home. It turns out not to be Russell, but rather some skeevy guy (E.J. Curse) who looks like Tommy Lee. Barb tells Audrey that she thinks of Russell as a really great friend but doesn’t think of him in a boyfriend or a sexual way. Jeff thinks it would be too awkward for him to tell Russell the truth, so even though it might spare Barb and Russell some embarrassment, he does nothing. On the night of the engagement party, Russell refers to himself and Barb as a ‘couple’, and Audrey finds out from Jeff that Russell is in love with her. She is shocked and considers telling Russell but she thinks it might simply serve as a karmic lesson to Russell. However, when Russell approaches Audrey to tell her that he is serious about Barb and would never hurt her, she decides to tell Russell that she doesn’t feel that way about him. Instead of telling him that she slept with another man, she simply says that Barb told her she’d never want to ruin their great friendship by dating him. Russell slinks off, saving face by telling Audrey that he’s being texted by another woman. Adam and Jennifer are thrilled with all of their gifts from people they don’t even know… but then they start getting invitation from many of the guests for a vow renewal, housewarming party, and a bark-mitzvah for a neighbor’s dog. They wind up putting aside new gifts that they can give at some of the parties. Jeff then takes his share of the gifts, leaving Adam and Jennifer with nothing. Mim Drew and Frederick Keeve are the woman and her husband Mike who are having the vow renewal. Mark Fite is the neighbor having the housewarming party. Jonathan Castellanos is the football kid. 11/27/22
- 015. Fix-Ups and Downs – 11/12/2007
- When Audrey mentions that her friend Sheila (Meg Wolf) is desperately looking for a man, Jennifer suggests her friend Jack (Erik Van Wyck), which greatly annoys Jeff because he knows things will eventually go sour, which would lead to Audrey and Jennifer having a falling out. Meanwhile, despite the fact that Russell is successfully dating a girl named Chloe, he spots a blonde named Tiffany (Carrie Southworth) in the apartment that he’s obsessed with meeting. He begins a campaign of riding up and down in the elevator in hopes of meeting her. Jennifer gets tickets to The Golden Staircase on Broadway and decides to treat Jeff and Audrey to go along with them. All three couples wind up going to a harbor cruise together, and when Jeff mentions that Sheila is older and is worried about her biological clock, Jack literally jumps off the ship. Audrey and Jennifer bicker for a bit about the situation, but it is Adam and Jeff who wind up in the argument about the cost of the cruise tickets that Jeff paid for. Jeff argues that Adam should pay for Jack’s ticket, while Adam insists that since he paid for the Broadway tickets, they are even. They argue all the way to the theater, so the girls tell them not to come inside until they work out their argument. They wind up scalping their tickets to a man (Joseph Limbaugh) and a girl they each meet in the street. Adam and Jeff then go have drinks and cigars, knowing full well that they will be in big trouble. After getting support from everyone in the building, including Oscar the doorman (Wayne Lopez) and Mrs. Fulford (Maree Cheatham), who offers to set him up with a co-worker if things don’t work out, Russell finally runs into Tiffany. However, when he tells her that he’s been riding the elevator up and down hoping to meet her, she sprays him with mace. Mrs. Fulford reiterates her offer, and then reveals she owns a swimsuit and lingerie modeling agency. Audrey later tells Jeff that they’ve been invited to the opera after fixing up the guy and girl that he and Adam sold their tickets to. Kent Kasper is the cabbie. Happy Mahaney is the man Russell meets in the elevator. Sabin Rich is the pizza delivery guy. 5/8/23
- 016. A Visit from Fay – 11/19/2207
- Adam’s mother Fay (Peggy Lipton) comes to pay a visit. Although Audrey warns Jennifer that they’ll have issues since she has had so many issues with Jeff’s mother. Adam maintains that his mother is really cool, and Jennifer concurs that she’s always thought she was really nice, open-minded, and free-spirited. Meanwhile, the TV goes out at Jeff’s place, so he and Audrey struggle to find other things besides sex to do. They wind up playing Monopoly but when he wins, Audrey throws a tantrum. Efforts to talk just end up with Jeff talking about movies and TV shows, so they wind up back in bed. Things see to go well with Fay’s visit, especially since she tells Jennifer that Adam’s never been happier than he is with Jennifer. However, things take a downward turn when she starts walking around the apartment naked. Russell wants to hang out with Fay because he sees her as another mother to him. Jennifer finds her relationship with Adam weird when he cuddles both of them when they go to the movies. She reaches her last straw when Fay tells Jennifer that she doesn’t feel marriage is important and would be just as happy if Adam and Jennifer just continued to live together. They argue about this in the hall, which finally becomes a show that entertains Jeff and Audrey. Russell goes to an art gallery with Fay, where they listen to avantgarde photographer Bruno (Matthew Brenher). Russell is shocked when everyone in the gallery strips naked for Bruno to take a group photo. Audrey counsels Jennifer about letting Fay be who she is and that she would trade mother-in-laws any day. Jennifer then apologizes to Adam, and he tells her that he doesn’t agree with everything his mother does but that he loves her because she is his mother. The cable finally comes back on at Jeff’s place, but he tells Audrey it is still out so they can have sex again. Russell tells Adam that he can no longer think of Fay as his mother because now he has other feelings for her. Kelli Kirkland Powers is the reporter. 5/9/23
- 017. Time Share – 4/14/2008
- Jeff decides to surprise Audrey with a weekend away at a time share, which only costs $199 provided they sit through a time share presentation. Jeff thinks he can easily stare down the salesmen. When he finds out from one of the timeshare workers, Eric (Sean Abbott), on the phone that if they bring another couple, their weekend will be free, he immediately invites Adam and Jennifer, who jump at the chance. Russell is quick to volunteer that he can’t go since he is being interviewed by New York Style magazine as one of the city’s eligible bachelors under forty. Once they arrive, Jeff finds Audrey shaving her crotch, and Audrey admits that she is doing it for Jennifer since they’ve never been naked together. However, when they both get in the hot tub, Jennifer is wearing a swimming suite while Audrey is embarrassed to be naked. Jeff gets paged and reminded that his steak of the month is being delivered that day. Jeff calls Russell to ask him to stop by and put the steak in the refrigerator. When Russell reluctantly does this, he spills a pitcher of juice all over his clothes. Being on the way to the magazine interview, and not able to fit into any of Jeff’s clothes, he wears one of Audrey’s suits to the interview. As soon as she meets the reporter Debra (Carla Toutz), she calls him out on the outfit, especially since there is one in the sales window behind him. Adam looks forward to hanging out with Jeff and doing some guy things, but Jeff is simply playing golf by himself. Later, as they are all preparing for the sales pitch, they see Eric, who mentions the savings that Jeff got in front of everyone. Everyone is annoyed by this, and they walk out of the sales presentation. Eric tells Jeff that if none of them attend the presentation, it will cost him full price for both rooms: $1200. Jeff apologizes to Adam and offers to play tennis, and agrees to get drinks and smoke cigars, and even do yoga. Adam then agrees to sit through the sales presentation with Jeff. Adam has no self-control against the salesman (Mike Siegel). Audrey apologizes to Jennifer for what Jeff did and they agree to head off to the pool together. Audrey makes a comment about whether they should both wear suits or just Jennifer. When she explains how she thought they’d both be naked, Jennifer drops her robe to reveal her naked body… just as Jeff and Adam walk in. Later, Adam begs Jeff to help him get out of the timeshare deal he got into. Russell returns Audrey’s suit to her. Edward James Gage is the pizza delivery guy on the elevator. 9/15/23
- 018. Jen at Work – 4/21/2008
- Adam proposes that Adam and Russell hire Jen to design the brochures for new condos, of which they represent the owners. Russell doesn’t think it is a good idea, but Adam insists that they can keep the working relationship professional. Meanwhile, Audrey berates Jeff for getting into a hot tub, which might negatively affect an already low sperm count. She finds out that he’s also not taking all of his supplements and sometimes wears tighty-whiteys. Russell rearranges his office so that no one can see the porn he looks at on his computer, which he calls ‘porn-shui’. Jen brings Audrey a fertility idol, which has been in her family for year and has worked miracles with her relatives getting pregnant. Audrey mentions she’s not sure how Jeff feels about having a baby because he always shuts down when he starts to talk about his feelings. Jen shows up at the office so she can show Adam the brochures she came up with. Adam thinks they are too brightly colored for the client, thinking that the client would want them more subdued. Jen gets her feelings hurt, and her disappointment carries over into their home life. She refers to her ‘new boss’ as an ass-face. Adam tries to tell her that he was just offering constructive criticism. After deciding what magazine to use to achieve his sample, Jeff is told by Dr. Sachs (Richard McGonagle) that he now is showing through his test results that he has ‘super sperm.’ He shares the information with Adam and Russell, then advises that Adam would be better off to lose Jen as an employee than a lose a wife. Adam then goes home and excitedly fires Jen. This leads to more arguing between them, but when they both realize this means that Russell was right. Adam decides to let Jen make the presentation, and she agrees to tone down the colors. Unfortunately, when the client (Kim Delgado) sees it, he tells her that he was wanting something more dynamic to update their image. After Jeff brags to everyone about the ‘super sperm’, he accidentally breaks the idol while he is thanking it. Jeff finally opens up to Audrey and tells her that he’s been frustrated and blames himself since they haven’t been able to conceive when he really wants a baby. When Russell starts having trouble with his computer, a hot IT girl named Crystal (Marisa Petroro) comes to fix it for him. Russell thinks he might have somehow ‘entered porn’ so he starts hitting on her. Since her answers are ambiguous, he then touches her… only to get slapped. 9/16/23
- 019. Optimal Male – 4/28/2008
- Jeff becomes obsessed with being able to call himself an ‘optimal male’ on his insurance form, so when he finds out that he’s gained ten pounds since college, he decides to go on a weekend crash diet to lose ten pounds. Meanwhile, Adam runs into an old girlfriend named Stacy (Valerie Azlynn) who is in town for a job interview. Jennifer doesn’t mind that they go out to get coffee while they catch up, but she becomes a little bit bothered when he offers to let her stay at their place for the weekend. Russell is trying to impress a woman named Clarissa (Josie Davis) by volunteering to help her with a charity event for Gentle Embraces, although he actually has no idea what the charity stands for. Audrey is interested in going to the charity event, but Russell tells her that she isn’t sophisticated enough for a high-class New York event, having come from Lincoln, Nebraska. Jeff is surprised when he attempts a weigh-in and hasn’t lost any weight. When Russell finds out that Clarissa that she expects him to fill a table at the event, so he starts panicking and calls Adam and Jennifer, and has to backpedal and ask Audrey and Jeff to go. Jennifer is hoping to go to the event with Adam alone, but he invites Stacy to go along to the event. Jennifer expresses her annoyance, and Adam tells her that he would be find if she were friends with an ex-boyfriend. Jennifer then looks up an ex named Drake (Teddy Sears) to come along. The ploy doesn’t work well, however, because Adam and Drake become fast friends at the dinner event. While Jeff starves himself, Russell becomes nervous when he sees Audrey talking to Clarissa. Although Audrey tells her that Russell is a great guy, she suggests that Russell say a few words about the charity. Since he knows nothing about it, he fumbles trying to figure out what to say. Audrey feels bad for him and mouths to him from the crowd that the charity is about literacy. Russell thinks she says ‘leprosy’ so he begins talking about that, finally turning Clarissa off for good. Jeff can take it no longer and wanders into a bar mitzvah and eats seven hot dogs. Adam finally admits that he did experience some jealousy for the first time. Adam offers to tell Stacey to find someplace else to stay, but she is already making time with Russell since she agreed with everything he said about leprosy. Jordan Green is the boy at the event. Terrance Christopher Jones is the waiter. 1/11/24
- 020. Russell’s Father’s Son – 5/5/2008
- When Adam and Jennifer break their sink by having sex on it, they ask Jeff and Audrey if they can use their bathroom until they get a new one. Despite Jeff’s trepidation, Audrey agrees to allow them free reign. However, they quicky come to regret it when they take up long amounts of time, leave the bathroom a wreck, use Audrey’s expensive Tea Tree shampoo, and write cutesy messages to each other on the mirror. Meanwhile, Russell’s father Franklin Dunbar (Geoff Pierson) comes to town to visit the office, where he has set up Russell as an executive. As a trust child, Russell wants to impress him to keep the trust going so he wears a nice new suit and acts like he is an aggressive worker when he shows up. Franklin also meets Adam and seems even more impressed by him and his ideas. He sends Russell out to do an errand, then he asks Adam to be in a promotional video that he is making for new business partners in Shanghai. Much to Adam’s surprise, he realizes that he is being cast to play Russell himself. Adam decides not to tell Russell since he thinks he will never see the video anyway. Audrey finally has reached her limit with Adam and Jennifer and decides to tell them that she is bothered by the way they are using the bathroom. However, once again she pulls back and doesn’t say anything. She is then surprised when Jennifer gives Audrey an expensive bottle of wine as thanks for the favor. However, even though Audrey never said anything to her, she did write a message on the mirror telling the ‘sink humpers’ to stop messing up their bathroom. Russell gets a copy of the promotional video and wants to watch it because he thinks they are horribly made and hilarious. Adam stops him from watching it and then tells him that his father had used him to play Russell. Although Russell’s feelings are hurt, it is something he is used to since his father once hired Jodie Foster to stand in for him on the family Christmas card. They take a look at the video anyway, only to find that it is not Adam playing Russell, but Ethan the water delivery boy. Adam then feels like he was slapped in the face as he thought Mr. Dunbar liked him. Russell finds it humorous that Adam is now in the same predicament he’s been in for his entire life. With their bathroom clear, Jeff and Audrey decide to have sex on their bathroom sink, and naturally break it as well, so they have to resort to showing up at Adam and Jennifer’s place. Danielle Vasinova is Russell’s secretary. 1/13/24
- 021. Buyer’s Remorse – 5/12/2008
- When Russell comes to meet Jeff for lunch at his office, he sees that Jeff’s office is full of junk that he’s felt like he had to buy to support his co-workers’ kids’ school sales. When another co-worker (Richard Willgrubs) tries to sell him more, Jeff pretends Russell is his son and is selling some of the things that Jeff has bought. Meanwhile, a lady in the apartment has died, so Audrey tells Adam and Jennifer that they should consider buying her apartment so that they will be permanent residents there. Audrey tells them that she will put in a good word with the co-op board for them to be accepted as the new owners. They decide to go for it, even though it means that Adam will have to stick to a budget in order to afford it. Russell has a crush on a new waitress at named Kerry (Stephanie Lemelin), but is then informed by her that they had one slept together, but Russell, who had promised that he’d help get her a recording contract, never called her back. She flatly tells him that she is going to spit in his sandwiches. Jeff is hit up with one of the little boys at the apartment named Nicky (Dylan Minnette) to buy more things, and Jeff not only refuses but tries to sell the kid a pair of his old shoes. When Jennifer discovers that Adam has bought a remote-controlled helicopter, she puts him on a strict budget. When Jeff and Audrey go to speak to the head of the co-op, Mrs. Westlin (Jessica Tuck), they realize that her little boy is Nicky. Audrey tries to win her over by making her a cake, which she then sees the housekeeper throw away. She loses her temper and yells at Mrs. Westlin but is then told that she threw it away because Nicky has a gluten allergy and that it could kill him. Russell tries to put in an order with another waitress, Doreen (Diane Sellers), and then the owner (Maurice Sherbanee), but they both side with Kerry and refuses to serve him. Adam quickly runs through his money, when he thinks he is buying wings during Wild Wednesday, but the waitress (Artemis Pebdani) informs him that it is only Tuesday. After Russell talks Adam into buying Jennifer a magazine from a street vendor, he offers to pay Adam $2 to pick up a meatball sandwich from the Island Diner for him. Adam gets even with him by eating the sandwich in front of him inside the diner while Russell waits outside looking through the window. In order to try and get back on Mrs. Westlin good side, Audrey makes Jeff buy tons of things from Nicky’s catalog, as well as giving him his shoes. Adam finally admits that he was lying about sticking to his budget and that he’s broke. He admits he doesn’t want to be financially responsible and that he doesn’t need to buy the apartment. Jennifer agrees with him and decides that they don’t need to buy it anyway. Russell asks Kerry how he can make peace with her, and she forces him to fund a recording session at the music studio. She then records a song, which is all about Russell and how despicable he is. Jennifer and Adam tell Jeff and Audrey that they’ve decided not to buy the apartment, and to thank them give them yet another tin of popcorn, which they already have stockpiled after all of the purchases they’ve made. 5/15/24
- 022. Pimp My Bride – 5/19/2008
- When Jeff and Audrey go over to pick up Russell for the movies, they are astounded by how nice his apartment is since he’s never let them see it before. While Jeff wants to move in, Audrey thinks it would be great to use in a photo shoot for a bridal magazine. She tells Russell that she will let him pick the model to portray the bride, and that he can hit on her all he wants. Meanwhile, Jennifer offers to help Jeff find Audrey a birthday gift. He doesn’t feel completely comfortable being with her all day while they shop but agrees to it anyway. Rusell helps Audrey choose the model, but he immediately throws out a model named Adriana (Stacy Stas Hurst) when she mentions she is married. However, when he meets a model named Melissa (Mini Anden), whose boyfriend just broke up with her, he immediately chooses her. Jeff’s worst fears come true with Jennifer, and they can find nothing to talk about. Furthermore, he says the necklace she picked out for Audrey is too expensive. When Jennifer realizes that Jeff doesn’t even know her last name, she starts to get offended and suggests that they will only hang out in the future when either Adam or Audrey is present as well. Just as they are parting ways, they spot a green 1969 Camaro SS for sale on the street. They both fall in love with the car, and when the owner (Gary Kraus) offers to let the test-drive it, suddenly they start having fun together. Jeff has so much fun that he ends up buying the car. As Russell hits on Melissa at the photo shoot at his place, Audrey starts to panic when the actor playing the groom gets ill and can’t come to the shoot. Russell volunteers, but he is too small for the suit, so Audrey calls and asks Adam to step in. He comes and poses as the groom, while Russell starts to get more and more nervous about all of the people in his home, and the various spills and stains they are causing. Audrey begs Russell to allow her just a little while longer for the shoot. He is agreeable until Melissa tells them that her boyfriend just called and wants for them to get back together. Russell then immediately throws everyone out. As Jeff and Jennifer are driving around, they spot Adam coming out of the apartment with a bride on his arm. Audrey is equally shocked when he sees Jeff and Jennifer in the Camaro. When they all get home, Audrey is furious that Jeff spends the money on the car without discussing it with her. He sends Jennifer in to smooth things over, which she does by telling her that Jeff bought her a great gift, forcing Jeff to splurge for the necklace after all. Jeff agrees that Jennifer actually makes a great friend. After the fake wedding photos he just took, it makes Adam ready to set a date for the wedding. They agree on getting married the following summer which should give them time to plan. They seal the deal by creating a coupon to get married at that time. 5/19/24
SEASON 3
- 023. Russell’s Secret – 3/9/2009
- Remembering that Audrey had asked for tickets to the Broadway show Wicked several years earlier, Jeff sees that it is playing in the theater district and buys her a ticket. He says that he is not going to her and then reminds her about his bad behavior when attending previous shows. Later, everyone meets up at the Island Diner, where Russell is poking fun at Adam for taking dancing lessons with Jennifer for their wedding. Jennifer is quick to point out that it is actually Adam who needs the lessons. Jeff tries to convince Audrey to go to the Manhattan Sailfest boat show, but she says that she feels the same way about them as he does at the theater. Later during dancing class, the instructor Mr. Vargas (Jordi Caballero) points out that the problem is not Adam, but Jennifer. Adam suddenly starts to enjoy the class more and quickly becomes a teacher’s pet, much to Jennifer’s annoyance. Audrey attends the Wicked performance alone, and just before intermission, she spots Russell in the audience, emotionally stirred by the show. She confronts him in the lobby, and he makes her swear to secrecy, promising to pull strings as the editor of the Bernadette Peters fan magazine to get her great theater seats if she keeps it quiet. Later at the diner, Adam gloats about being the better dancer, and Audrey tells Jeff that he can go to the boat show by himself because she’s seeing another matinee. Jeff attends alone, and after successfully pulling off one “seamen” joke to a saleswoman (Nefetari Spencer), he starts to have a good time. However, he then runs into an old friend named Mike (Bob Odenkirk), who has recently separated from his wife Jeannie. Jeff has to listen to him whine about his loneliness as he pleads with Jeff to do things with him to keep him busy. Eventually, Jeff makes a fake excuse and leaves Jeff behind so that he can catch up with Audrey at the play. In the meantime, Audrey is surprised how sensitive Russell can be, as he tells her how the live musicals became a form of escapism for him as a child. Audrey confesses to him that Jeff has his sensitive moments too and cried during the film Mr. Holland’s Opus. After seeing how miserable his friend Mike is, he finds Audrey in the lobby and tells her how much he hopes they can start taking more interest in each other’s hobbies. When he sees Russell there, he starts making fun of him for being into musicals, while Russell retaliates by making fun of Jeff for crying during Mr. Holland’s Opus. Over at the dance class, Mr. Vargas gets frustrated with Jennifer and pulls Adam aside to dance with him to show her what she is doing wrong. As Audrey gets annoyed at Russell and Jeff for picking on each other for eleven solid blocks, they agree to stop and be more mature… but when they see Adam inside dancing with Mr. Vargas, they rush in to poke fun at him mercilessly, much to Jennifer’s delight. Later, Jeff and Audrey attend a musical together, but they are interrupted by Mike, when he shows up and trades his ticket with another single guy (Joe Zazzu) so that he can sit next to Jeff and Audrey and talk incessantly. Tom Goodman and Kristen O’Meara are the couple who sit next to Audrey at the show. Andi Matheny is the theater patron sitting by Audrey and Russell, whose lines were cut from the episode. 10/1/24
- 024. Voluntary Commitment – 3/9/2009
- When Jennifer comes over to borrow a book to read to her elderly friend Charlie (Lou Felder), Audrey starts to think that she should take more interest in helping people, so she decides to volunteer to read to the elderly as well. Jeff thinks it is just another passing fancy on her part, and bets her that if she gives it up, he will have a “Jeff’s Choice” in the bedroom. She knows that he will also do his standard “I was right, and you were wrong” dance while naked. Meanwhile, Russell is hiring a new assistant, and since the company’s attorneys have advised him that he cannot hire women, he has only a lobby full of men to choose from. Russell throws a bagel into the room, and he hires the guy who catches, a sharp, British young man named Timmy Patel (Adhir Kalyan) who is willing to work his way up the ladder. Russell quickly takes advantage of him by making him do his chores, including menial tasks like picking out gumballs from the candy machine in Times Square and alphabetizing his erotica. Audrey starts reading to an elderly lady named Edie Bennett (Norma Michaels), who is hard of hearing and has frequently accidents with her bedpan. Timmy continues to do Russell’s bidding by ordering his food, getting women’s numbers for him, and insulting Jeff and Adam. Timmy tolerates it because he wants a chance to share his ideas for the Brooklyn Shipyard project, which Russell keeps putting off. Audrey wants to get rid of Edie, especially when she sees how normal and healthy Jennifer’s elderly man Charlie is. She tries to bribe the hospital administrator Mrs. Alberts (Yvette Nicole Brown) to switch their old people, but she won’t go for it, and even tells Jennifer. Audrey is forced to admit to Jennier that she just wants to keep Jeff from winning the bet, but she then thinks of an even better lie to get out of it. She tells Jeff that Edie has died and makes up an entire story about her last moment. However, Jeff had just received a call from Edie five minutes earlier to tell Audrey that she left her sunglasses in Edie’s room. When Russell finds out that Timmy has made a date with one of the ladies that he was getting a phone number for, Russell chastises him, causing Timmy to get upset with the fact that Russell has never bothered to read his proposal. When Timmy threatens to quit, Russell tells him that he has been mentoring him the entire time because he saw something in him that indicated he would succeed in the business. After Russell pulls out Timmy’s proposal from where it was being used to balance the legs of the table, Timmy agrees to stay. Audrey returns to the nursing home, only to find out from a paramedic (Melody Butiu) that Edie really has died this time. She has to tell this to Jeff and admits how terrible she feels and hopes she didn’t manifest her death. Jeff says he’s not going to gloat because she is already so sad and tells her that he thinks she’s a great person because she tries so hard to be good even though she fails every time. Once she feels better, he is able to do his “I was right, and you were wrong” dance as he takes off his pants. Alex Ball is the orderly. 10/1/24
Leave a Reply