The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"Don't touch me, I'm sterile." - Ed Norton, "The Honeymooners"

mon15.jpgIf I were Edwin Starr, I might answer that with “absolutely nothin'” – but since Bob and I spent the better part of Monday, July 28, 2008 in this town, it must have been good for somethin’. The day started off with a nice breakfast in our Comfort Inn motel. They had a nice array and some of those great do-it-yourself waffles that I am seeing more and more of lately. The dining area was surprisingly crowded and some guy was hogging the internet access, but I was able to get on for a few minutes before we headed out.

I’m not sure who was driving when we left the motel, but whoever it was was charged with getting us to our first destination back in Cleveland. If you recall, we had left that mucky town the night before in favor of finding a decent motel on the southern outskirts of town. It typically wouldn’t have mattered who was driving, but it would have been a nice piece of info to have – as you will find out at the end of the posting.

So our first stop was at the Lakeview Cemetery in Cleveland. Here we started out at about 9:30am with the memorial to President James A. Garfield. You can read more about our visit with the President here. Also in this cemetery were the graves of legendary American industrialist and America’s first billiionaire John D. Rockefeller and of famed Prohibition-era law enforcement agent Eliot Ness (later portrayed in the TV show and movie The Untouchables). We also stopped by the Wade Chapel on the premesis, which is famous for containing a stained glass window designed by the world-famous glass artists at Tiffany and Company. It is said to be one of only four remaining Tiffany stained glass works in the world.

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 At the gigantic Rockefeller monument. Are you getting tired of seeing this t-shirt yet?

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 Rockefeller handed out dimes instead of calling cards, hence my actions here

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 At the grave of lawman Eliot Ness. His ashes were scattered in the pond behind me (which you can’t see).

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With the Tiffany stained glass in the Wade Chapel

We left Lakeview around 10:30am and headed to James Garfield’s Lawnfield Estate in Mentor, which is on the northeast side of Cleveland. Further details of this visit can also be found here.

Our next planned visit was to tour Progressive Field (the former Jacob’s Field), home of the Cleveland Indians. Bob has recently got started on touring the ballparks in addition to attending actually ballgames there. My first tour was in Houston during our Texas trip and this was my second. The last tour of the afternoon was at 1:30 and we arrived at the ballpark with about fifteen mintutes to spare. Unfortunately, as was all things in Cleveland, finding a parking space was a complete clustersmack.

I dropped Bob off to get the tickets and then drove into a claustrophibic parking garage. By the time I got out of it, it took me a minute to orient myself as to where the stadium was in relation to where I was. I quickly recovered and ran to the gate where the tours started. I had Bob on the phone and he was ready to give up hope and forget the tour, but we perservered and I eventually caught my breath.

We got to see the pressbox, the suites, the home team dugout, and the batting cages during the hour-long tour. It was a nice facility to be sure – in fact it was named as Major League Baseball’s best ballpark in a 2008 Sports Illustrated fan survey. I had seen a game played there on Tuesday, August 25, 1998. 

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 Bob and me looking mighty Progressive

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 Cowboy and Indians

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 The nice view from the Indians dugout

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Giving a speech to a massive Cleveland crowd

As we also did back in 1998, Bob and I also walked over to the Cleveland Hard Rock Cafe form the ballpark. There we shared a nice appetizer sampler.

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 Not sure who that girl is, but if I had noticed her at the time I certainly would have asked!

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Indicating that I actually came to Cleveland, and I have the experssion to prove it

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Our big appetites and our big appetizers

Although Bob didn’t really want to re-visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I had grown disillusioned enough with the city of Cleveland that I decided that I never wanted to have a reason to go back there, so I insisted on seeing it once again. I hadn’t been there since August 25, 1998 either. Bob decided to wait in the lobby while I walked through it.

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 If it weren’t for Alan Freed using the term ‘rock and roll’ on the radio while broadcasting from Cleveland, the museum might have actually been located in a nice town

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 In front of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

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No photos were allowed in the museum itself, so we grabbed this shot and the one at the top of the posting in the lobby

It was a very rewarding experience and I’m glad I got the chance to see it again. To try and even scratch the surface of the amazing number of exhibits and artifacts would be futile, but as for my major arena of interest there were tons of great Beatles items including John Lennon’s Sgt. Pepper outfit and the outfits from the film Help! In fact there was an entire revolving exhibit dedicated to the film Help! – as there was a great exhibit of Jim Morrison and the Doors. There were amazing displays dedicated to everyone from the Rolling Stones to Jimi Hendrix to Michael Jackson. The Hall of Fame itself consisted of neon signatures of the inductees revolving around a screening room showing vintage musical film clips. I’m just a little disappointed that KISS has yet to be inducted. Overall, besides the obvious Presidential offerings, this is certainly one reason to bear the hell of Cleveland.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is located right on Lake Erie as is the USS Cod, a World War II submarine opened to visits from tourists. Bob, Lisa, and I visited it back in 1998 and we had no real desire to go through it again. However, I wasn’t sure if I had a photo of me at the USS Cod from then, so we stopped by it to get a photo.

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Stopping by the USS Cod. Turns out I did have a photo taken here in 1998, so this was unnecessary

This finished off the last of our sites to see in Cleveland and so I bid a fond adieu to the city, which for the most part had redeemed itself in my eyes that afternoon. It wasn’t until I got home that I found reason to hate them again. From there we drove about an hour south to Canton, Ohio. We skipped the Polka Hall of Fame in Euclid and the Goodyear World of Rubber in Akron. Bob was crestfallen.

Canton is home to not only some very important Presidential locations, but to the national Pro Football Hall of Fame. This worked out well to visit it that night because it is open until 8pm. We arrived a little after 6:00 so had plenty of time to spare. This was an interesting visit because the six ‘class of 2008’ inductees were going to be enshrined at the Hall of Fame the following Saturday after our visit, so we got to see the tents that were set up for the ceremony and the slots in the H.O.F. where there busts would be placed.

I love watching pro football, but I am not all that into sports history. However, this museum is pretty entertaining, covering the history of the sport, non-NFL pro teams (oh how I remember the USFL back in the 1980’s!), and of course special displays of all of the NFL teams. It was easy to get absorbed into this museum for a good hour.

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With the roadside sign indicating the upcoming inductees, among them Art Monk obviously. Isn’t he that neurotic detective?

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 Bob and me in our white socks

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 My second major national Hall of Fame of the day

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 A football from the mid-1890’s, the oldest one in the museum’s collection. This is what Bob refers to as my ‘taking a dump’ pose

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 The kickoff ball from the Cincinnati Bengals home opener on September 15, 1968

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 Me and the Hall of Famers. I’m the white guy.

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 O.J. Simpson looks at me with murder in his eyes

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 The spaces for the new Hall of Famer’s busts, and one of those who declined admission

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Explaining to all those interested why I can neither seek nor accept a nomination into the Pro Football Hall of Fame

On the way out, one of the H.O.F. workers recommended a nearby eatery to us called Taggerts Ice Cream. There I had the incredibly delightful Executive burger – a ground steak burger smothered in cheese, bacon, mushrooms, and grilled onions on a kaiser roll. As if that wasn’t enough we topped off the meal their specialty ice gream, the Turtle Sundae. Bob warmed up for his sundae by having a milkshake with dinner. As God is my witness, they had the best ice cream and pecans that I’ve ever had in my life. Remember them. Taggarts. Canton.

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 Bob sucks

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I must admit, I could not finish this entire ice cream sundae. I know…I’m a wuss. But I made sure to get all of the pecans.

After filling up with that delicious meal, it was nearly 8:30pm so we found the nearest and cheapest motel we could find, a Red Roof Inn which served us just fine to help us rest up for the next day of our trip.

So getting back to the original question – what is Cleveland good for? I’ll tell you. They are good for cheating the hell out of their citizens and visitors. On August 21, a full three weeks after our visit to Cleveland, I received the following document in the mail:

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Now how these photos prove that we were going a mere 11 miles over the speed limit is beyond me. Naturally the only way to contest the $100 ticket is to request a court date in Cleveland. Well after this, the city’s status is now solidified in my silly, stubborn mind. Bob paid half of the ticket since we have no idea who was driving, but it was worth the $50 to never have to enter the city limits of this filthy, rotten cesspool ever again. And God help them, I hope they use some of this money to clean it up.

More news later as the happy hour will continue in Canton

5 Responses to “Cleveland: What’s It Good For?”

  1. Now Brad tell us how you really feel about Cleveland!

    Bob

  2. I’ve never cared for Cleveland, myself. Sarah and I consider it to be South Michigan. Actually I call Toledo (another undesirable location) South Michigan and I call Cleveland West Pennsylvania. Perhaps it is just my ignorance of the two towns. I will, however, gladly accept student athletes from these areas when it comes to Ohio State recruitment. During the fall I suddenly love Cleveland.

    Chris

  3. Oh, and by the way, despite what Drew Carey tells us, Cleveland does not rock.

    Chris

  4. I knew that was coming at the end. A guy I work for is originally from Cleveland and he just moved his son into a place around the college he goes to. He got a lovely piece of mail also for the same thing, 11 over, and $100 fine. Coincidence?

    Darlene

  5. If you had any pecans left you would’ve fought that ticket!

    Bob

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