I began to panic the morning of Saturday, July 12, 2008, when I suddenly realized that I had spent too much time on the computer and in the bathroom – and had nothing in the room to tell me what time it was. Jimmy had already headed to breakfast and our buses, so not knowing if I was going to miss them, I scurried down the hall and outside. Turns out I had about ten minutes to spare before they left at 9am, so I was able to grab some sausages and an apple from the breakfast bar. That was okay though; I had been eating far too much my first week in Europe already.
The buses took our group back into Amsterdam for the final full day of the convention. The destination was the Theater Tuchinski once again. We had visited it on Thursday and now we were back for a film screening of some classic Laurel and Hardy flicks beginning at 10:30am. On the bus they gave us a big bag of food which contained three sandwiches, an apple, a Snickers bar, and a disgusting orange energy drink, which we could eat in the theater as we watched the films. David decided to skip the films and take a tram to see the Van Gogh museum. I sat with the Wileys, Dick Bann, and A.J. Marriott.
The Sons assemble in the Tuchinski
Kicking back with our bags of food
With Dick and A.J. ready for some classic L&H films
Jimmy’s M&M’s must have been spiked
The masses howl at Liberty
The program was as follows: some great Leroy Shield music by a very talented live band called The Sprockets, the screening of of Liberty (with The Sprockets accompanying), a rare Claymation film with an L&H appearance, the Rogue Song trailer (which was in sepia, not two-strip Technicolor), Perfect Day, and Mickey’s Polo Team. Then there was an intermission and a funny performance by the Laurel and Hardy look-alikes. Finally, we wrapped up with one of the greatest of the Laurel and Hardy films, Sons of the Desert. It is always wonderful to see the boys’ films screened inside a majestic theater in the presence of a large and receptive audience.
Then there were two hours for either more free time in Amsterdam or an optional tour. Our group had paid fifteen Euros for the optional tour – a guided walk through the famous and seedy Red Light District. I really didn’t know what to expect with this tour, but I certainly wasn’t going to come all the way from Amsterdam without seeing it.
Our guide was professional as he tastefully explained the history of the area and the rather sad tale of how many prostitues wind up in that lifestyle. As for the women themselves, I was a bit surprised to find that all of them were merely scantily clad – never nude – in the windows. In fact I only saw one woman actually bare herself – and she was rather disgusting anyway. In fact there were women available for all tastes…and most wouldn’t have been mine, even if I would have had any desire to plunk down 30 Euros (the cost of Jean Darling’s newest book). They came in all sizes, colors, shapes, and yes, even gender – although the ‘male’ business had pretty much faded away – and I never saw any hermaphrodites…that I know of.
Big Jimmy grows pensive in the Red Light District as our tour guide looks on
Our guide tells us about one-eyed hookers
A peek down red light alley
I found these public urinals in the streets of Amsterdam fascinating. I didn’t have the guts to actually use one though
Of course the rampant prostitutes, sex shops, porn theaters (both live and film), and even the Prostitute Information Center (seen in the photo at the top of the posting) stick in one’s memory, but we also actually saw some other interesting things in the area. One of them was a hidden church, which looked like a house from the outside, but was a large church – now with a museum of its history also located inside in addition to the worship area. At one point, organized churches were illegal in Amsterdam, so the need arose to have such ‘hidden’ churches.
Inside Ons’ Lieve Heer op Solder or Our Lord in the Attic, one of Amsterdam’s hidden churches
At the end of the tour, we stopped in at the Wynard Fockink – a local winery, where we were serverd complimentary liquer. I chose the ‘t hemje licht op which was best translated as the shirt lifts. It contained a mix of flavors including orange, cocoa, and vanilla. The bartender poured the glass all the way to the brim and the proper way to drink it was to bring your mouth to it as it sat on the bar. Both elder Wileys and David participated, but I had to finish Kris’ strawberry liquer.
Kris sucks down a strawberry liquer
My turn
David at me at the Wynard Fockink
The buses departed Amsterdam at 4:15pm (a half hour behind schedule). I somehow got on the bus after everyone else and so there were no seats by Jimmy or David – so I was forced to sit with Cassidy all the way back, which of course was murder. Yeah right. We had a nice conversation about her well-known family and life in general. By the time we arrived back at the Avifauna, we had only one hour to spare before the banquet began at 7:00. I browsed the dealers room for the first time this week, and for the first convention ever, I bought absolutely nothing. They just simply had nothing of interest, which was disappointing.
The banquet was a ‘fancy dress’ affair. Or a costume banquet. Your choice. I chose to wear jeans and my red striped shirt, the one I had worn all day. There was a slew of neat costumes, my favorite being a guy dressed as Charlie Hall from Them Thar Hills – as he appeared in the film, coated in feathers with a plunger stuck to his head. My friends Peter and Catherine were also cute in their Swiss Miss garb. A couple of L&H lookalikes (male and female) lugged a phony piano crate up and down some stairs in the banquet clubhouse.
With Swiss Miss pals Peter and Catherine, ready for the costume affair
With Lori Jones McCaffery portraying a Babes in Toyland townsperson
Cassidy with the Them Thar Hills version of Charlie Hall. I asked him if he was responsible for the feathers I found in the restroom
I took this photo from the banquet hall balcony to prove that – even after the wine had worn off – there were in fact pink flamingoes present at the shindig
I sat with the Wileys, David, Dick, and Cassidy. The meal was again top-notch as we had filet mignon, asparagus, and an ice cream sundae for dessert. The banquet itself included the awards for the various contests (Pee-Wee et al), the Passing of the Pineapple to the Sacramento Another Fine Mess tent (who will hold the convention in 2010), and for the first time at this convention, toasts to the boys and their co-stars. After the ceremonies were complete, a local band called De Biet came out and played popular songs from the sixties. They weren’t bad, but it made it a bit hard to socialize and that’s what I was hoping to do over a few glasses of wine on our last night.
With Roger and Elaine Gillette, keepers of the Stan Laurel Shield. I had mailed it back to them so that they could add the additional plaques for future winners
My last moments alone with the Stan Laurel Shield, which as victor of the 2006 Pee-Wee contest, I had owned for the last two years
With old friend Dwain Smith, godfather of the Sons for 38 years
Dickie Bann and Cassidy at dinner
Dick deep dives into the sundae
Was Dick Photoshopped into this picture of the Wileys? You decide
After searching Amsterdam for inexpensive wooden shoes, David finally wins his very own pair in the evening’s raffle
Instead, David, Jimmy, and I went back to the room to upload our photos to Jimmy’s computer. We went back to check out the band later and although there were actually still people dancing as it neared midnight, we were all ready to collapse. I made another phone call to Jackie in the lobby, and then turned in for the night.
The next morning we packed up our suitcases and lugged them down to the film room to store so we could check out before the breakfast and head out. Then we realized that the room would be locked and we had to catch a taxi at 11am. So we ended up putting our luggage in the Duffs room. Ironically, this wasn’t anywhere near the caliber of breakfast that we had been having all week and was officially a ‘High Tea’ – that is, mostly cakes and pastries. I sat with the Wileys, David, Cassidy, and Chris Coffey – but Cassidy had to catch a cab at 10:30 and didn’t even get to eat. I ate a bit but was more interested in circling the room to say goodbye to everyone for another two years. After an hour it was time to leave the convention behind.
Goodbye to our room
Goodbye to the Hotel Avifauna
Goodnight Duffs
The convention comes full circle as Steve Wichrowski once again entertains Big Jimmy with his amazing animated hand
As I walked back to the hotel to get our luggage, Steve Wichrowski interviewed me for his Nutty Nut News Network podcast (which you can hear here if so inclined). He had been after me all week, so I finally relented. Of course, I was walking at breakneck speed so it was hard to talk at the same time.
We waved our goodbyes and caught our cab, leaving behind another Sons of the Desert convention and heading out on our next European adventures.
And we’re off to our next adventures in Europe!
P.S. Back at home on this day, my cousin Debby was getting married. Unfortunately, being in Europe, I had to miss the wedding. I told her that I would ‘catch her at the next one.’ But seriously I hope that she and Mike have a wonderful marriage and a great life together.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Ross – not in Europe
Europe will continue…
Did you use a flash for the picture during the viewing of Liberty? The nerve of some people!
Chris
October 6th, 2008