My Great-Grandmother Mary Edith Heywood Murphy passed away on March 21, 1985. She was 88 at the time. She was the first person I ever lost with whom I was close. I remember that it really scared me when my Mom told me that “Grandma” had passed away, without specifying which one. As close as I was with Great Grandma Murphy, it would have been even more unbearable to lose one of my other two Grandmothers. Her service was held on Monday, March 25th in Dayton and her final resting place was at the Mound Hill Cemetery in Eaton.
Great-Grandma Murphy (seen at left at age 19) was the Mom of my Grandpa Harold Murphy. She was born July 6, 1896 in Hamilton, Ohio to Perry Heywood (born 5/19/1871) and Mary Ellen Sterrett Heywood (born 12/2/1861). Her husband, my Grandpa’s Dad, Harry Murphy (seen with her below right) passed away on May 31, 1951, leaving Grandma a widow. Within the next few years, she remarried a gentleman named Kie, an illiterate farmer, but the marriage only lasted a couple of years before she divorced him. From then, she lived briefly with my Mom and her family for just a few months. My Mom remembers her being there when she was a little girl (at the time, both of her Grandmas were living in the household!)
Great Grandma then moved to California, staying with her sister Geneva – her father Perry was also living nearby at the time. In 1961, my Mom and her family made a trek out to California to visit with all them, giving her Great-Grandfather the opportunity to hold his youngest descendant, Darlene. Later on, Great-Grandma moved in with Louise and Carroll. Louise was her daughter. They first lived in Denver, before moving to Duffield, Virginia where she lived for the rest of her life.
Although living out of state, she made frequent visits to Ohio and on several occasions actually stayed at our house on Winterset in the late 1970’s. This was most convenient for her, as we had a shower stall which she could get in and out of easily. We celebrated her 83rd birthday in the Summer of 1979 at our house with an outdoor party. The photo of her below from this party show her looking as I remember her best.
I remember Great-Grandma Murphy as being an extremely kind person who was well-liked by everyone. My Dad was very fond of her too. In fact, the first time I ever saw him cry was after her funeral. Mom recently reminisced that Grandma was one of the most helpful and generous people she ever knew; she would give you the shirt off her back and give money to those in need, even when she didn’t have enough herself. Mom also remembered how much she loved babies and loved to pinch their soft, smooth skin.
Since she didn’t live locally, I have only a few memories that come to mind when I think about her. One is that she was missing half of one of her index fingers, which she lost in the machinery while working at Koehler Aircraft. When I was little, that fascinated me and she would oblige by wiggling it around for me. She would give all of the parents of her great-grandkids $5 every Christmas with instructions to buy a gift for us from her. I think one time she was in town for my birthday and gave me some money as a gift, but didn’t get out to get a card. Instead she gave me an additional 65 cents or so – the price of the card.
And this is a rather strange memory – but I remember that right after I came from the store and bought KISS’ Hotter Than Hell album, I took it over to my Grandparents’ house where she was staying. I thought it was perfectly fine to say “hotter than hell,” because hell – after all – is a pretty hot place. She informed me that other people used the expression for other reasons, as in “colder than hell.” I just didn’t understand that.
As far as I recall, whenever Great-Grandma came to visit, it was my Grandma and Grandpa Murphy who would drive out to Virginia to pick her up and bring her back. Usually, they would take one of the grandkids with them. I got my turn around the Summer of 1983, I believe. My parents also made several trips to stay with Louise, Carroll, and Great Grandma and I have very fond memories of those excursions, too.
Great-Grandma’s funeral was really the first one I remember being at. I remember reading KISS Strange Ways #2 on the way to the funeral. I remember giving Bev a big hug at the funeral and breaking down crying. I remember my Grandpa requesting that the casket remain open for the entire service. I remember my Dad crying in the car in the parking lot after the service. And I remember the wake that we had at my Grandparents house on Kruss after the service and burial, with the members of my Mom’s immediate family as well as her paternal aunts, uncles, and cousins. Below are some photos from that gathering.
Duane, Louise, Harold on March 25, 1985
Louise, Duane, Edith, Harold, and Harry Murphy – taken on Antioch Street
Grandma and Me, Thanksgiving 1983
In one of those bizarre twists of fate, exactly five years to the day after Grandpa Murphy lost his Mom, his very first Great-Granddaughter was born…
More on 1985 at a later time…
Could you advise when your great-great grandfather, Perry A. Heywood died and the cause of death.
I know he was appointed to the Dayton police force on 8-4-1902. He had a brother on the police force too: Sgt. Frank Heywood. Perry was shot on 12-16-1925 and later retired on 5-15-1928. I am trying to determine if his death was related to his on-duty injury based on comments made in local newspaper article by Inspector Thomas Grundish upon his retirement in 1935.
Thank you.
Steve Grismer
June 27th, 2010