My cousin Jacob and his apparently-permanent gal pal Lauren decided to get hitched and they opted to do it on Friday, July 3, 2009. This worked out just fine for me as we surprisingly had the day off work for the upcoming Independence Day holiday. So I spent the morning working on the website, laying out in the sun, and then getting ready for this affair. They were scheduled to be shackled at Polen Farms (the site of my personal wedding reception #2) at 4:30pm in a lovely outdoor ceremony. Ashleigh and I stopped at Kroger to pick up a card, promptly forgot to bring along my camera, called Mom to make sure she had hers for me to use, and were on our way.
The wedding itself went swimmingly with all of the groomsmen looking dashing (except for Zac, who could only be described as svelte), and bridesmaids looking ravishing. The ceremony was the shortest one that I had ever seen, which was perfectly fine. Who needs all that singing, preaching, and other rigamarole? This one was wrapped up in all of ten minutes. In fact, from the time Lauren walked down the aisle looking stunning to the time that Jacob could claim her as his ball and chain and they were on their way out, just five minutes had elapsed. Therefore…we went to Wendy’s.
Bob and Darlene enter the arena
Lauren’s father walks her down the aisle
Everybody on their mark…
…get set…
…oh, it’s over…so GO!!!
Every family has a black sheep in their closet…
The family gathering at the Robinson wedding. Oh wait…no Robinsons
Well, just a few of us. Not the entire wedding party – just Mom, Bob, Denise, Ashleigh, and me. Some couldn’t wait to eat at the reception, but all I got was some fries and a Frosty which I shared with Ashleigh.
Every wedding should have a Wendy’s interlude
Vanilla faces
The cocktails and reception were slated to begin at 5:30 at the Mandalay Banquet Center, where I often attended work functions. But they were never as fun as this. If the wedding was short, sweet, and simple, the reception was dazzling, elaborate, and action-packed. The cocktail reception area outside the banquet room was stocked with an open bar (red cab, baby), a candy bar (see the picture), and plenty of cheesy snackity-snacks.
Bob totes Megan through the cocktail mixer
Ashleigh stocks up at the candy bar. How sweet.
The guests of honor and all of their assistants (aka bridesmaids and groomsmen) were paraded in like cattle while everyone gawked and snacked on their food from the candy bar. We were sat at tables according to name placard, presumably so no losers were left without a chair. This is the only reason I could think to have assigned seats. Well that, and the opportunity to spell my and Ashleigh’s names incorrectly. Had I had my druthers, I would have ditched the family and made my way to the bridesmaids table and parked next to Lauren’s sister Allyson. But I survived with Yaht, Aaron & Denise (who were rebels and brought the kiddies), Susan & Charles, Karen & Joe, and Bryan & Erine. Oh well. I love all these people too.
The triumphant entry of the wedding party
Our table. The cool table.
Restraining Adam for a few seconds
Megan coos at Ashleigh
Adam is ready to get this party started on the dancefloor. If only I could have convinced him to spill the cake, it would have been a wedding that no one would have forgotten
Ashleigh laments the misspelling of her name. And I’m just Brad. Just Brad.
The other kids’ table: the Claudes and the Murphys
The oracle of the elders
Proud parents of the groom – banished to a faraway table
Why is it that only I seem to be able to capture swell photos like this? Journalistic integrity, that’s why.
Dinner was fabulous with a pasta chef and a human ham-cutter doling out these scrumptuous delicacies. I tried to be good on how much I stuffed into myself as I was only a week away from my Calfornia trip and wanted to maintain my girlish figure in preparation for that. The wedding party kicked off the tradtional wedding festivities with their toasts, which Zac mumbled through and Allyson cried through. Oh, these lovable kids!
The cake cutting was then held with Lauren shoving the carrot cake into the ever-deserving face of the groom. Jacob had might as well get used to having things smeared into his face. They did the typical tossing of the bouquet, but thankfully I was spared from taking to the floor to catch the elastic band that had minutes before been snapped around his new wife’s upper thigh. Not sure why they skipped this, but I wasn’t questioning.
They started off so nice and then…
BLAM! 97X, the future of rock and roll
They held the traditional dances with father-daughter, mother-son, blah, blah, blah – and eventually worked their way into the dollar dance. Allyson stabbed me in the back by only letting me stay out there for a mere two minutes or so. But one of the most touching moments of the evening came when they had all the couples on the floor, and then proceeded to ask couples who were married less than five years leave the floor, then ten years, and so on. Remaining at the end was Karen (who was standing in for my late Grandma Murphy) and Grandpa Murphy.
My time with the lovely bride
My Mom’s turn with the lovely groom
Jacob and his sister Brittney
Karen and Grandpa symbolize longevity
Eventually all the traditional proceedings ended and then the wildness broke loose along with the open bar. Although they had requested that they not be played, the Rod Stewart-esque DJ played the traditional rubbish: the Hokey Pokey, Chicken Dance, Electric Slide, and the only one I actually enjoyed – the Cha Cha Slide. This was because I was dancing it with baby Megan on my lap – or rather ‘helping’ her dance to it.
Mom and Bob share a nice slow dance
Then the alcohol kicks in
Adam raises some cane on the dance floor. This is more like it, he says.
I teach Megan the preliminary steps to the Cha-Cha Slide
The Ockermans prepare to exit the building
Giving the bride some stiff competition in hotness was the Maid of Honor, Lauren’s sister Allyson
Although I could have stayed and partied on through the night and waited around to assist the passed-out bridesmaids, Ashleigh wanted to take off at about 10:00.
No complaints about any weddings serving White Russians. Gosh no.
As we drove home, we could see the fireworks exploding in the air from the highway. May Jake and Lauren’s marriage be full of just as many.
July 2009 will continue…
Why were you at the cool table?
Chris
July 21st, 2009
He was at the “cool” table because they thought he was Bradley F*rrell, you know that “cool” guy, not Brad F*rrell, the loser.
Darlene
July 21st, 2009
I am only commenting to show my disapproval of you comparing Allyson & me.
lauren
July 31st, 2009