The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by Paul Henning.

Theme song: “The Ballad of Jed Clampett” written by Paul Henning, and performed by Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs, with Jerry Scoggins performing the vocals

• 001. The Clampetts Strike Oil – 9/26/1992
  • As the hillbilly Clampett family makes their way toward their new mansion in Beverly Hills, a narrator takes us back to show how they ended up in these circumstances. The backwoods Clampett family consisting of father Jed (Buddy Ebsen), daughter Elly May (Donna Douglas), and Jed’s mother-in-law Daisy Mae “Granny” Moses (Irene Ryan) live in a small cabin in the Ozarks region of Oklahoma. Tomboy Elly May captures a petroleum geologist (Ron Hagerthy) on the property, and he explains to Jed that his land contains a valuable pool of oil. Jed has little interest in it, as he doesn’t way to pay to have it removed. The geologist brings back prospector John Brewster (Frank Wilcox) from the O.K. Oil Company via helicopter – which Granny mistakes for a giant bird – who pays Jed $25 million for the land, which Jed assumes is 25 dollars in some new kind of currency called ‘millions’. When Jed’s cousin Pearl Bodine (Bea Benederet) catches wind of the transaction, she encourages Jed to find a better life by moving to Beverly Hills and taking along her son Jethro (Max Baer Jr.). He also sets up Jed with the president of the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills, Milburn Drysdale (Raymond Bailey), who arranges to buy a mansion next door to his own, thrilled to take on their account in his bank and unaware of their background. Although Granny is reluctant to come, they eventually get her on board by putting her rocking chair in the car. After traveling across country, they arrive at their new home… but mistake it for a prison and the mansion gardeners as prison escapees. The Clampetts hold them at gunpoint until the police arrive and arrest the Clampetts. Drysdale gets them out of jail and drives them to their new house, which they still believe is a prison, and run off as a result. Nancy Kulp is Drysdale’s secretary Jane Hathaway. Robert Osborne is bank assistant Jeff Taylor. Duke is the family dog. Byron Foulger is the neighbor in the Kellogg’s sponsor spot. NOTE: This episode was originally filmed as the pilot for the series, at that time titled The Hillbillies of Beverly Hills, and includes scenes of Mr. Drysdale narrating scenes from future episodes to a psychologist. 12/31/19 

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by George Tibbles, under executive producer Don Fedderson

Opening theme music by Frank De Vol

• 001. Chip Off the Old Block – 9/29/1960
  • Steven Douglas (Fred MacMurray) has been a widower for six years and is now raising his three sons Mike (Tim Considine), Robbie (Don Grady), and Richard “Chip” (Stanley Livingston). Helping him take care of the boys in their Bryant Park home somewhere in the Midwest is his live-in father-in-law Michael Francis “Bub” O’Casey. Chip is annoyed that a little girl from his class named Dorine Peters (Debbie Megowan) is hounding him and his normal response is to kick her in the shin, but Steven sits him down and tells him that a gentleman will be polite. Meanwhile Steven’s friends Hal (Harlan Warde) and Nancy Mosby (Betty McMahon) introduce Steven to their single friend Pamela MacLish (Patricia Barry), who begins to pursue Steven. She invites him to a dinner party, which turns out to just be for the two of them, which begins to irritate Bub as the meal he prepares doesn’t get eaten by Steven. Although Chip is extremely reluctant to accept an invitation from Dorine to a dance party, Bub ends up teaching him to dance. Pamela stops by and Chip invites her to accompany his father to the dance where he will be a chaperone. During the dance Chip and his father discuss the fact that leading both of the women in their lives isn’t very gentlemanly and they agree to gracefully get out of the relationships. Chip tells Dorine that dancing is giving him a rash, but Steven ends up making another date with Pamela much to Bub’s amusement. George N. Neise is the salesman. 12/16/16

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SEASON 1 – Showtime

Created by Garry Shandling and Alan Zweibel

Theme song: “This is the Theme to Garry’s Show” written by Joey Carbone and performed by Bill Lynch

• 001. The Day Garry Moved In – 9/10/1986
  • Garry Shandling (himself) is a neurotic, self-obsessed stand-up comedian living in Sherman Oaks, California. Having just broke up with his girlfriend Patty who was dating someone else, he moves into his new condominium, which was once owned by Vanna White, where his neighbor is his platonic friend Nancy Bancroft (Molly Cheek). Garry frequently addresses the audience to explain the action, and all of the cast members are aware that they are in a sitcom. As he moves in, he meets the roughshod phone woman (Suzanne Kent) and the cable woman (Shawn Southwick aka Shawn Ora Engemann), to whom he is attracted. While playing basketball with his friend Pete Schumaker (Michael Tucci) and Pete’s son Grant (Scott Nemes) against two incredibly tall black players Marvin (Marvin Roberts) and his friend (David Vaughn), Pete gives Garry advise to ask out the cable girl. When he gets home, he finds out that his new condo has been robbed and all of his furniture is missing. Garry imagines that Vanna White (herself) has stolen the furniture and used it as prizes on Wheel of Fortune. Garry ends up taking out the cable girl, but finds he’s not attracted to her when she sings along to the lead-in of Gilligan’s Island and forces him to kiss her cat. Officer Ralph Sweeney (Jason Bernard) finds the culprits in the robbery and offers Garry his counseling for further relationship advice. Garry’s friend Lewis (Geoffrey Blake) shows up too late for the show. Lloyd Bremseth, Jean Adams, and Kerry Slattery are Wheel of Fortune contestants. 12/15/16

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SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Andy Borowitz and Susan Borowitz.

Opening song: “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” performed by Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith

• 001. Pilot (aka The Fresh Prince Project) – 9/10/1990
  • Inner city wannabe rapper Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith (himself) is transported from his hometown in Philadelphia, where his mother deems it too unsafe for him, to live with her sister Vivian (Janet Hubert-Whitten) and her stuffy lawyer husband Philip (James Avery), and their three children the stuffy Carlton (Alfonso Ribeiro), the spoiled snobbish Hilary (Karyn Parsons), and grade-schooler Ashley (Tatyana M. Ali), in Bel-Air, Los Angeles, California. From the moment Will meets the butler Geoffrey Butler (Joseph Marcell), he is like a fish out of water, that meets the contempt of his Uncle Philip right away, while his Aunt Vivian seems sympathetic and tries to remind Phil that he was young once too. The only one of his cousins that he connects with is young Ashley who he teaches to rap. When the Banks host an elite dinner party for Phil’s lawyer associates, Will shows up only partially dressed formal, still wearing his trademark hat and acting inappropriately. This is also exacerbated when Ashley raps when asked to say Grace. After the party ends, Uncle Phil blasts him for his behavior, while Will accuses him of losing sight of his own roots on the streets. Phil counters by telling him that he had experienced extreme racial prejudice and has forgotten nothing. After the finish talking, Phil is impressed to hear Will playing Greensleeves on the piano, and Will privately tells Ashley that her father’s strictness purely comes from his love for her. Helen Page Camp is Margaret Furth. John Petlock is Henry Furth. 12/15/16

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SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by David E. Kelly. 

Theme music by Erica Weis and Orr Rebhun

• 001. Pilot – 9/26/2013
  • Simon Roberts (Robin Williams) and his daughter Sydney (Sarah Michelle Gellar) run the powerful advertising agency Roberts + Roberts in Chicago, with Simon being a happy-go-lucky jokester who was once the top in his field, and Sydney being more success driven and focused. Also on the staff are the charming womanizer copywriter Zach Cropper (James Wolk), the neurotic Andrew Keanelly (Hamish Linklater), and seemingly dimwitted assistant Lauren Slotsky (Amanda Setton). The team has a meeting with McDonald’s representative Hannah Sharples (Gail O’Grady), who is ready to fire the team until Simon promises that they can revive the You Deserve a Break Today jingle from 1972, but with a contemporary wholesome singer. Simon and Zach approach Kelly Clarkson (herself) to do it, but she says she is trying to re-brand herself with a sexier image. Simon manages to get her into the studio where she and Zach sing a sensual song called It Ain’t the Meat, It’s the Motion, before trying to pivot her to the original jingle, but she doesn’t bite and walks out on the session. Simon feels he’s failed, but Sydney approaches Kelly at her family dinner, and after Kelly forces her to sing the song in front of the restaurant, she agrees to perform the jingle. Simon is impressed with Sydney, who says she learned to take the leap from him. 12/14/16

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