The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – Syndicated

Created by Walter R. Brooks, derived on a series of his own short stories beginning with “The Talking Horse,” first published in “Liberty” magazine September 18, 1937

Theme music “Mister Ed” by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston, instrumental version for the first seven episodes, thereafter sang by Jay Livingston

• 001. The First Meeting – 1/5/1961
  • Architect Wilbur Post (Alan Young) and his newlywed bride Carol (Connie Hines) move into their new home in the San Fernando Valley of California, and after being taken to the home by their real estate agent Mr. Reeves (Howard Wendell), Wilbur discovers that their barn contains a horse. They had purchased the home from their neighbor Roger Addison (Larry Keating), and he explains that the house’s former tenants, the Olkens, had need to leave in a hurry and left the horse for them to either keep or sell. Carol wants to sell him, while Wilbur would rather keep him, even more so when it appears that the horse seems to understand everything he says. Carol wastes no time in bringing in horse dealer Mr. Parker (Jason Johnson), who pays $50 for him. The horse then feigns illness in order to get Parker to return the money and refuse to buy. The horse then reveals to Wilbur that he can talk, and tells him that his name is Ed (Bamboo Harvester, voiced by Allan “Rocky” Lane). Wilbur tries to convince both Carol and Addison that the horse can talk, but Ed refuses to speak around anyone but Wilbur. Soon word spreads around town that Wilbur thinks his horse can talk, and Addison uninvites him from a neighborhood party he is planning. Wilbur laments his predicament to Ed, so hatches a plan for Wilbur to convince Addison through Mr. Reeves that he was trying to make Addison believe he was crazy so that he could back out on the deal. Addison falls for it, and not only decides that Wilbur isn’t crazy and re-invites them to the party, but also knocks $2000 off the selling price of the house. 6/25/21

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Neal Marlens

Theme song: “As Long As We Got Each Other” written by John Bettis and Steve Dorff, performed by B.J. Thomas

• 000. Pilot – 1985 UNAIRED
  • Psychiatrist Dr. Jason and Maggie Seaver head a family of three in the Huntington suburbs of Long Island, New York. Maggie has just decided to return to work as a reporter after fifteen years of raising her children 15-year-old troublemaker Mike, bookish Carol (Elizabeth Ward), and the youngest Ben, who follows Mike as his role model. Jason is now running his practice out of his home and is doing most of the caregiving for the kids. Ben is starting to miss having his mother around, while Mike thinks he can use his father to start bending the rules. In this case, he wants to go to a dance club called House of Sweat with his friend Jerry DeLish, and although he knows that Maggie would never approve, Jason decides to give him some leeway, but also asks that Mike start behaving responsibly. Maggie doesn’t agree with the choice, but Jason thinks Mike is old enough to get the chance to prove himself. He quickly regrets it when he gets a call from the police, who tells him that Mike was arrested for driving the car. The family goes to the jail to meet him and find out that Jerry is drunk on the floor of the cell, and that Mike was doing donuts in the parking lot of the House of Sweat and side-swiped a police car. Jason is livid and ground him for two months. Even after getting back home, he can’t seem to get past his anger. Maggie tries to talk him down and tell him that Mike has made just as bad of mistakes in the past and will probably make more. Jason finally decides to talk to Mike, and he tells him how he wanted to have a more trusting, loving relationship with him, which he and his father never had. He also admits that he did some silly things as a youth, including mooning everyone as he and his friends drove through town, including the mayor’s wife. After they’ve finished talking, Jason calls Mike back into the room and attempts to moon him… but it is Maggie who comes in and gets the full effect. NOTE: The DVD release features only the scenes that include Elizabeth Ward, all of which were re-filmed with Tracey Gold.  6/24/21

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Theme song: “Iron John’s Rock” by Dan Foliart

• 001. Pilot – 9/17/1991
  • Tim Taylor (Tim Allen) is the manly host of his own Detroit-based home improvement show Tool Time with co-host Al Borland (Richard Karn), sponsored by the Binford Tool Company, with which Tim used to be a tool salesman. Tim’s is married to Jill (Patricia Richardson), and they have three sons: Brad (Zachery Ty Bryan), Randy (Jonathan Taylor Thomas), and Mark (Taran Noah Smith). Tim frequently converses with his next door neighbor Wilson Wilson (Earl Hindman), who is generally hidden from the eyes down by the fence between their properties. Tim has the philosophy that everything is better with ‘more power’… and demonstrates this on the show by using a giant drill to create a hole in a door. Tim has to bypass a trip to a tool sale at Sears so that Jill can go to a job interview. While Tim stays at home with the kids, he occupies himself by re-wiring and souping up the dishwasher. As he works on it with Mark, he ends up getting a giant electrical shock and burn. Tim gets the call from Jill’s prospective employer before she even gets home, leaving the message that she didn’t get the job. However he doesn’t have the heart to tell her when she gets home excited about her interview. When he demonstrates the dishwasher, it blows a hole through the back of the counter. Mark then spills the beans to his mother about not getting the job, which infuriates Jill who feels unfulfilled by not working even though Tim makes enough for them both. Wilson advises Tim that sometimes women just need to be listened to. Tim gives an apology on the show, via giving advice how to be ‘symmetrical’ with one’s wife. Pamela Anderson aka Pamela Denise Anderson is ‘tool girl’ Lisa. John Cothran Jr. appears as the handyman Phil. 6/21/16

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SEASON 1 – CBS

Opening theme: “You Make Me Happy” written by Holly Knight, performed by Will Hoge

• 001. Pilot – 9/30/2002
  • Bill Miller (Mark Addy) is an overweight and somewhat dimwitted department store toilet salesman living in a Chicago with his wife Judy (Jami Gertz), a dental assistant, and their three kids Brian (Taylor Ball), Lauren (Renee Olstead), and Tina (Soleil Borda). Bill gives Brian some advice about attracting girls by behaving like a cool kid instead of a nerd. This advice backfires when Brian is caught smoking at school and the parents have to go in and talk to the principal Miss Bodin (Patricia Belcher), who remembers Bill from high school and blames him for the advice. Judy comes to the rescue and sticks up for him. Meanwhile Judy’s sister Linda (Jennifer Irwin) brings her new psychologist boyfriend Paul (Maurice Godin), who convinces Bill and Judy to play the game of “Truth Be Told” in which they are honest with each other about their pet peeves. Bill finds that unloading the things that irritate him helps his neck unstiffen, much to the chagrin of Judy. They end up deciding it is much better on their relationship if they just continue lying to each other. 6/22/15

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Theme song: “William Tell Overture” by Gioachino Rossini

NOTE: This series was a spin-off of the radio series of the same name, broadcast between 1933-1954

• 001. Enter the Lone Ranger – 9/15/1949
  • During the mid-1860’s in the Southwest Territory, lawlessness rules over the settlers, which prompts a band of Texas Rangers to bring order to the land. A half-breed named Vince Collins (George Lewis) is shot by the notorious Cavendish gang and offers to lead the Rangers to the gang. However it turns out that Collins works for Butch Cavendish (Glenn Strange) and ends up leading Captain Reid (Tristram Coffin) and his five rangers into an ambush where they are all presumably shot and killed. Butch then shoots Collins as well and leaves him for dead. Captain Reid’s younger brother John Reid (Clayton Moore) has survived the attack and crawls to safety. Collins also survives his wounds. Native American Tonto (Jay Silverheels) finds Reid and nurses him back to health, recalling the fact that Reid, whom he refers to as “kemosabe,” which means “trusty scout”, once saved Tonto’s life when his family massacred by a hostile Indian tribe. Reid vows to dedicate his life to bringing criminals to justice while wearing a mask and being known only as the Lone Ranger. Tonto buries the five Texas Rangers and creates a fake grave for Reid. Collins recovers and begins shooting at Tonto and the Lone Ranger from a secure spot in the rocks, presumably to steal Tonto’s horse Scout. Tonto climbs up and approaches him from behind and is nearly shot before the Lone Ranger shoots the gun out of his hand. The Lone Ranger begins climbing the rock as Collins stands above him ready to drop a giant rock on him. The series is sponsored by General Mills. Jack Rube Clifford is Jerry, Cavedish’s henchman. Gerald Mohr is the narrator. 6/22/15

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