The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Allan Burns and Chris Hayward

Theme song composed and conducted by Ralph Carmichael, written and sung by Paul Hampton

• 001. Come Honk Your Horn – 9/14/1965
  • While browsing a California car lot, lawyer David Crabtree (Jerry Van Dyke) comes across a 1928 Porter jalopy that seems to speak to him through the radio in his late mother Gladys’ (voiced by Ann Sothern) voice. Soon Dave is convinced that his mother, who had died in 1949, had been reincarnated as the Porter. He buys the car for $200 and brings it home, attempting to explain to his wife Barbara (Maggie Pierce) and children Randy (Randy Whipple) and Cindy (Cindy Eilbacher) that the car is his mother. Barb wants no part of it and insists he sell the car, and an attempt at convincing Barb that the car is Dave’s mother fails because she will not talk to anyone but Dave. Meanwhile an antiques collector named Captain Bernard Manzini (Avery Schreiber) pursues Dave in hopes that he will sell him the car, gradually upping his offer from $400 to $1000. Dave gets the car cleaned up and painted, but Barb still insists that he sell it. She enthusiastically accepts Manzini’s offer of $1000, but Dave convinces her that if they hold out, they will get more. The family enjoys a night out in the car, and Gladys tells her son what a wonderful homecoming she had. George N. Neiser is the salesman. 11/18/15

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SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by Frank Fox

Theme song: “My Little Margie Theme” Alexander Lazlo, re-arranged from Lazlo’s composition “Bows and Strings in Teasing” from the motion picture “The French Key” (13 -35-39-39)

• 001. Reverse Psychology – 6/9/1952
  • Vern Albright (Charles Farrell), a 50-year-old New York City vice-president of the investment firm Honeywell & Todd, is a widower who lives in the Park Carleton hotel with his daughter, the strong-willed 21-year-old Margie (Gale Storm). While Vern laments that he has lost all control over Margie, she worries because he is a bigger playboy than most men half his age. One night he comes home with his current girlfriend Roberta Townsend (Hillary Brooke) at 3am, stopping to check out the newest book Reverse Psychology by Professor D.J. Windsail that the elevator operator Charlie (Willie Best) is reading. Margie is furious when she catches him coming home so late and tells him how much she worries about his heart. In actuality she has her boyfriend Freddie Wilson (Don Hayden) over and has to sneak him out. Vern catches them in the act, and she then blasts Margie because he is certain she can do so much better. Later their housekeeper Mildred (Eileen Stevens) tells her about Windsail’s book since he is one of her other clients, suggesting that the book might help solve Vern’s aversion to Freddie. Elsewhere Vern’s boss George Honeywell (Clarence Kolb) turns Vern onto the same book. That night Margie spends the evening putting Freddie down, while Vern tries to build him up. Vern suggests inviting Freddie over to dinner with him and Roberta. Margie agrees only so she can pretend that she’s breaking it off with him. Vern has an argument with Roberta when she makes plans to leave town to deliver a dress to a wedding in Greenwich for work, even going so far as to end the relationship with her. Margie and Freddie find Vern’s copy of the book, and she realizes that he’s made a fool of her… and speculates that Vern’s breakup isn’t real either. Vern agrees to go to a dog show with Mr. Honeywell since his plans fell through with Roberta, and they all wind up on the same train. When Margie finds out that Vern is going to Greenwich, she also speculates that they are going to get married there. Vern and Roberta run into each other on the train and make up, and when Margie spots them, it solidifies in her mind that they plan to marry. She removes her necklace and hides it in Freddie’s pocket, then tells the conductor that Vern had stolen her necklace to get him arrested and thus stop the wedding. Vern goes to look for Honeywell to identify him, and inadvertently sets free all of the dogs he brought for the dog show. Once the chaos dies down, they all sit down and agree to no more reverse psychology… except for Freddie who has been arrested when it was discovered that he had possession of the ‘stolen’ necklace. 6/18/20

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Theme song: “Making Our Dreams Come True” performed by Cyndi Grecco, composed by Charles Fox, lyrics by Norman Gimbel

NOTE: This series is a spin-off of the series “Happy Days”

• 001. The Society Party – 1/27/1976
  • In late 1950’s Milwaukee, Wisconsin, friends and roommates Laverne DeFazio (Penny Marshall) and Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams) work at the Shotz Brewery. Ted Schotz (Lyman Ward), the nephew of the company’s owner Max, invites Laverne and Shirley to a society party so that he can prove to his Nana (Mary Treen) that he can relate to his workers. Laverne is skeptical but Shirley subscribes to the optimism of the Sinatra song High Hopes. They visit there friends and upstairs neighbors Leonard “Lenny” Cosnowski (Michael McKean) and Andrew “Squiqqy” Squiggman (David Lander) to see if they can ask around about getting them some cheap dresses to wear. Lenny and Squiqqy come through and bring dresses they say they borrowed from Squiggy’s uncle’s wax museum. They – and Laverne’s date Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli (Henry Winkler) – are like fish out of water at the society dinner, and matters are made even worse when one haughty couple Mr. and Mrs. Marshall and Vivien Stewart (Richard Stahl, Kathryn Ish aka Mrs. Richard Stahl) recognizes their dresses as being ones that were stolen from their daughters. Fonzie calms them down until they allow Laverne and Shirley to continue wearing their dresses until the party is over, but when the Stewarts continue to insult them, they strip to their slips and return the dresses right there. Later that night Laverne criticizes Shirley for having such ‘high hopes’, and Shirley criticizes Laverne for never letting her dream. They reach a happy medium and sing High Hopes together. Robert Ball is the butler. Bob Brunner is the foreman. 11/17/15

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SEASON 1 – IFC

The pilot for this series debuted on the British comedy anthology series “Comedy Showcase” on November 27, 2009. This episode was edited as the series pilot.

Theme song: “Life Is Sweet” written and performed by Johnny Marr

• 001. In Which Claims Are Made and a Journey Ensues – 10/1/2010
  • American Todd Margaret (David Cross) is seen on trial in a British court and a barrage of charges are hurled at him. We see what led up to this event fourteen days earlier, when Todd is in Portland, Oregon and is unexpectedly chosen by his new boss Brent Wilts (Will Arnett) at Global National to head up a division in London to sell an energy drink known as Global thunder. When Todd hears that he will be making $120K, he immediately lies and tells Wilts that he grew up in Leeds. Todd’s former boss Doug Whitney (Spike Jonze) is fired for trying to stop Wilts from sending Todd. Todd says goodbye to Stephanie Daley (Amber Tamblyn), the girl he considered his girlfriend, and leaves his cat with a giant tub of tuna and heads to London. Immediately lost, he visits the Graceland Cafe where he burns his hand on a jar of jam and loses his luggage to a bomb squad. However, he meets the proprietor Alice Bell (Sharon Horgan) who helps him bandage his hand. He then finds that his office is a nearly abandoned warehouse, meets his unenthused assistant Dave (Blake Harrison), and receives 16,000 crates of Global Thunder. Todd tries to sell the drink one-by-one while Dave is more interested in visiting pubs and making a fool of Todd. After having no luck selling the product in a pub and then getting headbutted by a potential female customer on the street, they return to Graceland where Todd has a nervous breakdown. Alice ends up buying one can of the drink. Todd finds that his apartment is completely run down before collapsing on the floor, and back home Todd’s cat has died, and other cats have come in through the window. John Fortune is the Magistrate. Kristen Schaal appears unbilled as a tourist girl. 11/17/15

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SEASON 1

Created by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason

Theme music by Sonny Curtis performed by Hans Olson, narrated by Ossie Davis

• 001. A Day in the Life of Wood Newton – 9/21/1990
  • Woodrow “Wood” Newton (Burt Reynolds) is a retired Pittsburgh Steelers player, who currently coaches the losing high school football team the Mules in Evening Shade, Arkansas, where he lives with his wife, Ava (Marilu Henner) and their children Taylor (Jay R. Ferguson), Molly (Melissa Renee Martin), and Will (Jacob Parker). Among the other residents of the town are: Ava’s father Evan Evans (Hal Holbrook), the owner of the local newspaper, who claims that Wood ruined his life by marrying his daughter when she was 18; Ava’s annoying Aunt Freida (Elizabeth Ashley); Dr. Harlan Eldridge (Charles Durning) and his wife Merleen (Ann Wedgeworth); paper delivery boy Nub Oliver (Charlie Dell); Ponder Blue (Ossie Davis), owner of Blue’s Barbecue Villa – home of the town’s oldest juke box that Wood loves; and Ponder’s sister Francis (Virginia Capers), who looks after Evan. Francis’ son R.C. (Marlon Archey) returns to Evening Shade to play on the football team. On the day of Wood and Ava’s fifteenth wedding anniversary, which is also Wood’s birthday, in addition to a game loss, a stripper named Fontana Beausoleil (Linda Gehringer) streaks across the field and is shown in the paper with Wood. She does this to protest the policies of Ava, who is running for local Prosecuting Attorney. Wood and Ava also discover that Ava is pregnant, despite the fact that Wood has had a vasectomy. They decide to try and keep it secret as not to hurt her campaign. All of the above leads to an argument that carries throughout the day. Wood also is appointed a meek assistant coach, math teacher Herman Stiles (Michael Jeter) by principal Margaret Fouch (Ann Hearn). Wood visits Harlan to find out what went wrong with his operation, and Harlan does indeed verify that he still has a high sperm count, although he offers no explanation what happened. While Wood takes his kids shoe shopping, Taylor tells him he no longer wants to play football. The kids express support to their mother and new baby. Everyone convenes at the Villa for Wood’s birthday party, where Wood sadly finds out that Ponder has sold the jukebox. He gives a heartfelt toast to his wife and reveals that she is pregnant, although most already knew. They narrowly avoiding Fontana appearing nude inside a birthday cake, but she shows up after the party and is given a ride home by Nub. Back at home, he finds that Ava has gotten him the jukebox for his birthday, even though Ponder ripped up her check. They make up and enjoy their anniversary. Burton Gilliam is Virgil. Florence Schauffler is Wood’s mother Pauline. Pepper Sweeney is reporter Neal Heck, one of Wood’s former students. Terry Wills is Ralph. Jane Abbott is Dorothy. NOTE: This premiere episode runs 49 min. 11/16/14

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