The summer ended and I trudged back to school, ready to enter my ninth grade and my last year at Ankeney Junior High. I had gotten a real exposure to girls via camp over the summer, and I had found out that I quite liked them. I had slimmed down and was beginning to get a little bit of length to my hair. Looking in the mirror I liked when the back section flared out so that I could see it. If I couldn’t, I’d go ahead and wet it down and pull it out. I began to carry a brush with me in my back pocket, one that could be filled with water or hairspray in the handle. I found out what Clearasil was all about – and preferred the flesh tone.
For the record, Denise’s fifth grade picture that year
As I was now officially kicked out of the Honors classes at Ankeney, my new classes were all of the scholarship level. My buddy Jeff Flinn and I were in three classes together that year, so we remained friends throughout the school year. There was also a new kid that year named Branden Wheeler who was in a couple of my classes that I palled around with and hung out with at a couple of football games. He had a twin sister named Trish, and she was the apple of my eye and object of my affection for the duration of the ninth grade.
As tradition dictated, Jeff and I were still quite a adept at making fun of others, but mostly in this case it was the teachers. We had drawn a truce by this time with most of the other kids and the days of putting out our insult-fest publications like Funshiet and Trash were long gone.
But two of the teachers that Jeff and I had hassled on the playground, Mr. Clay and Mr. Dukes, were now my teachers. The Dukes jokes echoed throughout the halls with nifty impressions of his many catch phrases like “Alright, get this down in your notes,” “Stop talking,” “Shut your mouth,” “Pay attention,” “What’s so funny?”, “Alright pass your copy of the test to the front, pass my copy to the middle and the front,” and the more obscure “Pete, get the hat off.” Add his standard pea-green shirt into the mix, and the videos of Dr. Julius Sumner Miller that we’d watch, and it was the perfect recipe for daily comedy.
Here are a few memories of other classes:
Scholarship English: We had Mrs. Walters as our teacher and I recall that I didn’t have the confrontational attitude with her that I had had with my previous two English teachers at Ankeney. Students that wrote in my yearbook made cracks about how I made that class fun and picked on Mrs. Walters, but I don’t recall ever having any issues with her.
The thing I recall best about that class was that Trish sat directly in front of me and I would stick my foot in the area of her desk where you could store books under the seat. Every day when we were done with our work, she would turn around and chat with me and put her legs on top of mine. So, you can understand why she was often on my mind. I actually wrote about my crush on her to my friend Darin Anderson from camp. Too bad I was too shy to do anything about it.
Spanish: Mrs. Glass was my teacher for my first foray into a foreign language class. My ‘Spanish’ name was Alberto (as close as we could come to my middle name Alan). I typically got along with Mrs. Glass and made some good friends in the class – including several former Fairbrookers Jeff Chalecki, Missy Fodor, and Sherrie Benson.
Scholarship Algebra: This was the second year I had Mrs. Williams for math class. She was a great and patient lady who seldom lost her temper with me, although at least one time I can recall the words “Bad move, Brad.” She had a great way of saying the word “sorry” which came out like “sorey”. Kyer Phillips, who I became good friends with this year, shared this class with me. A fellow former-B.E.L.L. student, Jereme Kuperman was in the class and we referred to him as “Cup.”
Scholarship Science: The legendary Mr. Dukes was the teacher for this class, so there were constant laughs abounding from all corners of the room. Joel Walker, Mike Ross, Pete Bales, Kyer Phillips, and others all joined in the merry making. I even had a dream about Mr. Dukes telling me that the topic that I chose to do my science project on wasn’t appropriate. He said in the dram that he just doesn’t know how ‘jazz music’ relates to science.
In the real world, he mentioned something once about throwing boulders and when Kyer started laughing, Dukes asked him “what so funny?” Kyer said, “Just…throwing boulders.” Dukes responded, “Oh…it’s not that funny.”
History of America Law: This was an obscure class that was only for the first semester. The teacher was Mr. Mackey and I had long marveled at this stoic man, who resembled Frankenstein’s monster, both in girth and stiffness. With a voice like James Earl Jones, he prefaced every single sentence with the word “OK”. On one occasion, Rob Bradford wrote a giant “OK” on his chalkboard on wheels at the front of the class.
Personal Economics: Sorry, I can remember very little about this semester class taught by Mrs. Kennedy except that I learned to balance a checkbook here. That was everything I needed to know.
And of course, being in ninth grade, it was an easy target to poke fun at our janitor Carl – although from what I remember he was a nice enough guy. However, our bus driver who was named Marty and was a loose-interpretation of a female, was a complete hag. She wrote me up for jumping out of my seat on the bus and one time kept my friend Rob Bradford and me after she let the other kids off to interrogate us about drawing on and ripping the bus seats, which we emphatically did not do.
Outside of school, things were going swimmingly at home. Here are a few random pictures of the era, the most entertaining ones being the shots of me in my Halloween costume – or rather make-up – as I went out as the obscure KISS member Vinnie Vincent.
Mom changes out the window screens in Denise’s room as we get ready for the coming of Fall
Mom and her new 1986 Firebird. I loved that bad boy.
Showing Jet the great outdoors as the temperatures begin to cool off
A visit from Grandpa, possibly for my birthday
In my Vinnie Vincent garb, at least from the neck up. I don’t think Vinne ever wore a Gumby sweatshirt.
Jet admires the KISS make-up
Mom prepares some Fall kitchen delights. From her snazzy garb, I’d assume that this is Thanksgiving prep.
My involvement in the Laurel and Hardy and movie-loving world at home was unprecedented at this time. I had also made some new friends in our Towed in a Hole tent and was taking on the tent newsletter project in order to be more involved in the club. My new chums Jim and George were also introducing me to the world of Super 8 films, Alfred Hitchcock flicks, film trailers, and all sorts of other fun stuff. The first event that I attended with George was a seminar given by Vincent Price at Wright State University on Saturday, September 27, 1986. It wouldn’t be too long before George and I became inseparable friends.
In order to advance my film hobby, Dad had helped me acquire a Super 8 projector, camera, and screen for my birthday that year. We had attempted to purchase the projector at Mallow’s, but when one salesman failed to honor the price quote of another salesman, Dad decided to look in the trading post instead. We ended up getting much more bang for our buck. So from then on the collection of Super 8 films began.
I continued to plug away at my paper route in order to help support all of these new hobbies.
1986 will continue…
Dear Brad….
I must say, I truly enjoyed sitting in multiple classes with you over the period of 18 months that I was there, always talking during class, making fun of teachers, and passing notes! I will never forget Ankeney or BHS!!
Love, The Apple of Your Eye!
Trish Wheeler
October 25th, 2010
I was never in Spanish class. However, I was in your algebra class. I believe I still have the Mr. Dukes comic book somewhere…
Jereme Kuperman
October 29th, 2010