The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Max Wylie and Harry Ackerman, based on the book “The Fifteenth Pelican” by Tere Rios.

Theme music: “Who Needs Wings to Fly?” by Dominic Frontiere

• 001. The Flying Nun (Pilot) – 9/7/1967
  • Sister Jacqueline (Marge Redmond) narrates this one hour-long pilot and introduced us to Sister Bertrille (Sally Field) as she arrives in San Juan, Puerto Rico where she is slated to enter the Convent San Tanco. She soon discovers that the high winds combined with her light weight of 90 pounds enables her to fly when she catches the wind just right. She also sees many opportunities to raise money for the convent much to the chagrin of Reverend Mother Placido (Madeleine Sherwood). One idea involves taking the kindergarten class she is teaching on a musical odyssey through the streets. Another involves pressuring a local casino tycoon named Carlos Ramirez (Alejandro Rey) into donating a plot of land that the convent needs. While taking her longest ‘flight’, the tycoon sees her out the window of his plane and decides to donate the land. Bertille then lands on a military base where she is questioned and accused of being a spy. In the end the Reverend Mother vouches for her legitimacy and gives her permission to use her best judgement on any future flights. Dabney Coleman appears as a submarine captain. Among the other nuns at the convent are Sister Sixto (Shelly Morrison), Sister Marguerita (Serena Sande), Sister Teresa (Naomi Stevens), and Sister Ana (Linda Dangcil). Vito Scotti is the police captain Dominic Lopez. Jean Marie Ingels is Maria. SONG: Felicidad. NOTE: This is a 60 minute episode. 4/15/13
• 002. The Convert – 9/14/1967
  • After seeing Sister Bertrille during a flight and thinking it is a sign from God, Carlos is inspired to give up drinking, gambling, and women and begins going to mass twice a day. This concerns his girlfriend Dottie (Arlene Golonka) and she shares this info with Bertrille, who does not want him to convert under false pretenses. She tells Carlos about her ability to fly and returns to his old habits and lose a fortune gambling. In order to win it back, he convinces Bertrille to fly for his friends (Noam Pitlik, John Gabriel) with whom he made a wager that she could do it. Bertrille agrees in order to save the land that Carlos has donated to the convent, although Mother Placido had grounded her from flying while the Bishop Dillon (Ivor Barry) is visiting the convent. Mother Placido and the Bishop visit Carlos’ yacht to thank him for the land donation, just as Bertrille makes her flight. Carlos pushes the Bishop into the water and he consequently does not see the flying nun. SONG: Paint Me a Picture. 12/28/13
• 003. Old Cars for New – 9/21/1967
  • The convent needs a new cart to replace their old purple station wagon, so Bertrille gets permission to use the $800 emergency fund and goes and buys a car from Money Back Hernando (Gino Conforti). It proves to be a lemon and Bertrille gets stranded near where Carlos is on a picnic date, which is promptly interrupted so that he can fix the car. Bertille returns the car but only gets $500, so she has to borrow Carlos’ station wagon to transport the kids to a carnival. She drops off the station wagon and then goes back into town, leaving the car for the nuns to drive the kids, but they think the car is the new one. A water pump breaks in the convent, so the nuns sell the car to raise money for it. Carlos helps get the convent their money back by pretending he will pay an exorbitant price for the original purple station wagon…after Bertrille has bought it back for $50. Hernando than pays $3000 to Bertrille for it. Carmelita appears as a little girl named Carmelita. E.J. Peaker is Diane. 12/28/13
• 004. A Bell for San Tanco – 9/28/1967
  • The bell on San Tanco is making an awful sound and Bertrille can’t seem to fix it. When she is told by Sister Jacqueline that the original replacement for the bell sank on the ship Hidalgo 203 years earlier as it was being shipped. Bertille enlists the help of Carlos, knowing that he has both a ship and the money to fund an expedition to find the original bell. Carlos is more interested in impressing his girlfriend Binkie (Louise Sorel) who longs for adventure. He plants a bell in the ocean along with a treasure map at the former home of the Hidalgo’s captain. However, his romantic plans are interrupted when Bertille insists on accompanying them in their voyage. When Carlos’ assistant Pedro (Michael Pataki) spills champagne on the map, Carlos has trouble finding the bell that was planted. Eventually he finds it, just as Binkie falls overboard, which requires that Bertrille fly over the ocean to find her. She is saved, but her vision of the flying nun inspires her to change her lifestyle, to the chagrin of Carlos. When the bell arrives at San Tanco, Carlos realizes that he actually found the original bell. 1/5/13
• 005. The Fatal Hibiscus – 10/5/1967
  • The Reverend Mother has been wrestling with transferring Sister Bertrille because the high winds at San Juan often cause her to take flight. When Bertrille crashes through a brand new stained-glass window while playing baseball, this clinches the decision. After a misunderstanding that involved the other nuns thinking that Bertille was dying and ignoring the Reverend Mother for her seemingly uncaring attitude toward Bertrille, they realize that she is actually being transferred upon the visit of Mother Provincial David (Irene Tedrow). Carlos tries to arrange a protest, but Sister Jacqueline talks him out of it. Still the children and citizens of San Juan rally to keep Bertrille at the convent, and the Reverend Mother finally agrees, prompting Sister Bertrille to take a celebratory flight. 1/15/14
• 006. Flight of the Dodo Bird – 10/12/1967
  • Sister Bertrille suddenly has blurred vision during a flight and makes a crash landing into a fountain. Dr. Tapia (Don Diamond) diagnoses Bertille with an ear infection, but is much more concerned about the anxious Reverend Mother’s nervous behavior, so he sends a note to the Mother Provincial expressing concern. She sends Father Lundigan (John Astin), who has a psychology degree, to visit the convent. Reverend Mother confesses that the reason she is anxious is because of Bertrille’s flying and landing. Sister Jacqueline and Bertrille herself backs this up, but he thinks everyone is crazy. Bertrille tries to demonstrate her flying but her ear infection prevents it. The nuns arrange for him to stay another night, but he sneaks off to catch his flight, just as Bertrille gains her flight back. Just as Father Lundigan is about to share his findings with a psychiatrist named Dr. Loomis (Alex Gerry) on the plane, Sister Bertrille flies by his window. 1/15/14
• 007. Polly Wants a Cracked Head – 10/19/1967
  • Sister Bertrille and Sister Jacqueline are making their house visits when they stumble upon a woman named Rose Dolan (Norma Crane) in her saloon berating her pet parrot Patrick Dolan Junior (voiced by Mel Blanc) for his back talk. She threatens to cook it if the nuns don’t take him into their custody. Unable to find a home for the parrot, mostly do to the bawdy vocabulary that it has learned in the saloon. They are forced to take it back to the convent, where the Reverend Mother discovers it and says that it must go, despite the fact that they have taught him some prayers. Bertrille talks Carlos into to keeping it for a while, but when the bird reveals to Carlos’ date Cecilia (Venita Wolf) that he might be a womanizer, Carlos forces it to leave. Rose then comes to the convent to try and find the bird that she now misses and prays for its return. Bertrille goes on a flight to find the location of Junior, who is now being observed by two bird watchers (Jonathan Hole, Chet Stratton) and returns him to Rose, who in appreciation begins going to mass again. 2/6/14
• 008. Ah Love, Could You and I Conspire – 10/26/1967
  • Bobbye Starr (Maureen Arthur) is the moll of Chicago gangster Albion ‘Al’ Caine (Herb Edelman) who one morning sneaks away from his yacht and jumps into the car of Sister Bertrille and Sister Jacqueline while they are at the San Juan waterfront picking up the convent’s supply of fish. Bobbye gets refuge at the convent, claiming to be a secretary, but clearly has no ability for that job. Al and his henchman Leo (Jack Riley) track her to the convent, but she refuses to go with him unless he marries her. Bertrille thinks that the best way to get him to marry her is to make him jealous so she enlists Carlos to woo her. Al and Leo follow Carlos and Bobbye to Carlos’ yacht and Al threatens him with a gun. Bertrille has flown off to get the police, while Carlos notes that Bobbye cannot testify against him if she became his wife. On the day of the wedding, Al hides in the nuns’ car, but eventually he goes through with the wedding. Tony Davis is Pedro, his first of four different roles as orphans. 2/7/14
• 009. Days of Nuns and Roses – 11/2/1967
  • After being discouraged during an unsuccessful fundraiser drive, Bertrille as the idea that the convent should go into business selling sea grape juice. She gets Carlos and his business partner Luis Fiero (Steve Peck) agree to act as distributors, sight unseen, and she gets credit from the grape farmer and suppliers of equipment and ingredients. When Carlos finds that it is sea grape juice that he is backing, he pulls out of the business…and the sisters can’t seem to sell any of it. The juice then ferments and turns to wine, causing Carlos to get arrested for smuggling while he is transporting it. The police raid San Tanco, but when Bertrille has them taste it, the wine has turned to vinegar…which, as she finds out, is why no one ever tries to sell sea grape juice. Luis buys up the vinegar and the convent breaks even. C. Lindsay Workman is the inspector. 3/11/14
• 010. With Love from Irving – 11/9/1967
  • While on a flight over the beach, Sister Bertrille drops her crucifix and while searching for it, she finds a pelican that she names Irving and bandages his injured leg. Father Sweeney (Harold Gould) comes to San Tanco to interview and observe the Reverend Mother for a job as Dean of Women at a co-ed college. The pelican follows Bertrille to the convent and causes embarrassment to the Reverend Mother. Bertrille tries to get rid of it, but it keeps following her and perhaps even courting her. The bird will not leave and it will not eat, and veterinarian Dr. Leonard (Nate Esformes) says that if he takes the bird away he will die of a broken heart. The vet brings some female pelicans to divert Irving’s attention and after a few failures, one of the does the trick and they fly off together. Father Sweeney denies the Reverend Mother the job, which actually pleases her as she feels most needed in San Tanco with Sister Bertrille. 3/11/14 
• 011. It’s an Ill Wind – 11/16/1967
  • When the Reverend Mother leaves for an educational seminar in St. Thomas without taking along the notes for her speech, Sister Bertrille feels like she should come to the rescue. After being refused by Carlos, she decides to fly to the island herself. When she gets lost and the winds slows down, she is forced to land on an island that happens to be inhabited by gangsters getting ready to hire a hit man to take out some hostile business partners, the Schwimmer Brothers. The leader of the gang Talc Edwards (Noam Pitlik) spots Bertrille flying and assumes her to be a saint. He gets inspired to call of the hit and follow the Golden Rule, all the while getting his gang to honor Bertrille by singing Bringing in the Sheaves with her. When hitman Louie LaRue (Robert F. Lyons) shows up, his henchmen Moon (Arthur Julian) and Ben (Larry Vincet) switch to the other side and takes LaRue to the Schwimmers. When they return for the hit on Edwards, they spot Bertrille flying and crash their plane. When the Reverend Mother returns, they realize that Bertrille has left the speech on the island and taken Edwards’ accounting notes for his gambling operation. They try to return the notes, only to find Edwards and his gang under arrest, going along willingly and singing Bringing the Sheaves. 6/8/14
• 012. Young Man with a Cornette – 11/23/1967
  • Before she leaves on a vacation cruise, the Reverend Mother makes Bertrille promise that she won’t tell anyone about her flying. Bertrille agrees and then heads off to meet Sister Jacqueline at a children’t hospital to entertain the kids. There she meets a self-centered child named Charlie Webster (Brian Nash) who cannot stop lying. Charlie has an interest in flying so Bertrille takes him out to fly a kite. The wind catches the kite and Bertrille becomes airborne. Charlie tells the other kids and adults in the hospital, but they assume he is lying again – and Bertille can’t tell the truth because of her vow. She ends up flying to the cruise ship to ask the Reverend Mother if she can go ahead and tell in this particular case, and is granted permission. When she returns she finds that both Charlie and her cornette are missing. Charlie is going to attempt to fly, but Bertrille finds him and talks him out of it, telling him that she’ll admit to flying so he won’t appear to be a liar. As she is about to reveal her secret, Charlie tells everyone that he made up the story, so that Bertrille doesn’t have to expose her flying secret. Dick Wilson appears as a stranded man in a raft. 6/8/14
• 013. The Patron of Santa Thomasina – 11/30/1967
  • Sister Bertrille and Sister Jacqueline travel to the village of Santa Tomasina at the request of village leader Pedro Caracol (Julio Medina). However the village is actually two different villages, both claiming the name and the statue of Saint Tomasina, each periodically changing the sign that points to the village to point to their section. The Sisters end up in the opposing village led by Francisco (Harry Davis), and they think that Bertrille is Saint Tomasina in the flesh when they see her fly. They believe that she will lead them into battle with the opposing side. The nuns wind up in the middle of their battle as it ensues, both sides using only farm implements as weapons. Bertille employs the wisdom of Solomon and proposes they cut the idol in half, but both factions are happy with leaving it in the middle and declaring their villages to be East and West Tomasina. Peace is made until they argue over who gets to host the nuns in celebration…until Bertrille offers to cut herself in half. 8/23/14
• 014. If You Want to Fly, Keep Your Cornette Dry – 12/7/1967
  • Sister Bertrille’s class has done so well that she wants to give them a holiday and asks Carlos to give them a ride on his boat. He is busy with a date that day, but doesn’t want Bertrille and the kids to run into him, so he arranges for them to visit a plantation for a picnic. Sister Sixto accompanies Bertrille and kids, but they end up getting lost when Sixto lets one of the kids draw on the map. They stop and have their picnic, but when they are ready to leave the car will not start. Bertrille attempts to fly to a phone, but it starts raining, dousing her cornette and causing her to fall from the air. Concerned, Sister Jacqueline calls Carlos and he leaves his date to go fly in his plane and search for her in the storm. Bertrille comforts the children by singing The Louder I Sing, the Braver I Get. Carlos spots them and sends some rescuers, but then his plane has trouble. The nuns and the kids are rescued, but Carlos doesn’t returned. Bertrille takes flight to search for him, and finds him…perfectly content having landed his plane on a plantation where he has met a beautiful woman. Once again, he is interrupted by Sister Bertrille. 8/23/14
• 015. The Dig In – 12/14/1967
  • While rock hunting for her Natural Studies class, Bertrille roams into a cave and is attacked by a man named Bill Watkins (Henry Jaglom). She defends herself and in the process causes an avalanche that traps them in the cave. Bertrille discovers that he is an escaped convict that was arrested for smuggling jewels to Puerto Rico while trying to make money to enter medical school. The two end up becoming friends as they try to escape the cave, first by creating a ladder to reach a hole that is 20 feet above them. Bertrille ends up falling off the ladder and injuring her arm. Eventually she realizes there is a draft in the cave, and that by building a fire, enough draft could be created to get her airborne. Watkins thinks she’s crazy but goes along with it. Bertrille floats out and sends down a rope for him, and they escape. Watkins decides to return to San Juan with Bertrille, presumably to serve the rest of his sentence. 9/21/14
• 016. Wailing in a Winter Wonderland – 12/21/14
  • Sister Bertrille draws the elderly Sister Olaf (Celia Lovsky) in the Christmas gift exchange, and her one wish is to see snow. Bertrille visits the San Juan weatherman (Woodrow Parfrey) to learn that snow can be created by seeding the clouds with dry ice, which Bertrille then borrows from Carlos. As she distributes the ice among the clouds, the winds carry her into the tourist area, causing it to snow on the resorts and send the tourists fleeing to the airports. Carlos and the businessmen are up in arms, but Carlos arranges an emergency fund for the locals affected by the loss of tourism, and Bertrille makes it ‘rain’ $5000 in cash on them (set to the song of I’m So Glad I Can Fly). This brings the tourists back to their resorts. The businessmen think Carlos cheated them out of their money since they didn’t see a nun pass out the money, and they forcibly take it from his wallet – but Carlos remains in good humor and comes to the convent to wish Bertrille a merry Christmas. The sounds of the nuns singing Deck the Halls bring Sister Olaf out of her room for the first time in months. Ceil Cabot and Jack Bernardi appear as tourists. A.G. Vitanza is one of the businessmen. 9/21/14
• 017. With a Friend Like Him, Who Needs? – 12/28/1967
  • The convent needs a great deal of repair in their library, so the request that the bishop send help. They end up with the accident prone Brother Paul Bernardi (Rich Little), and Reverend Mother appoints Sister Bertrille to assist him. Almost immediately he burns down the bookshelves when he leaves a magnifying glass on them outside in the sun. He also puts a hole in the library wall, and he and Bertrille finds some rare parchments inside, which Paul places inside of a book. The nuns barter with Swapping Salvador (Peter Mamakos), and he agrees to take some old books in exchange for shelving. When they realize that he’s also taken the parchments, Bartrille flies to retrieve them before Salvador has them ground into pulp. The parchments end up going on display at a museum before traveling on to the Vatican and a nice donation is made to the convent. Paul and Bertrille do a remarkable job getting the library into shape. 10/27/14
• 018. Tonio’s Mother – 1/4/1968
  • Sister Bertrille visits Esperanza, Puerto Rico to return a pipe to Father Dominic (Frank Puglia) after he had visited San Tanco and was disturbed by Bertrille’s flying. On her way into town a boy named Tonio (Gerald Michenaud) spots her and is convinced that she is his dead mother returning as an angel. Bertrille is in fact the spitting image for the late woman, but despite her protests, he will not believe that she is not really his mother. Tonio’s father Luis (Nico Minardos) is getting set to be re-married to Manuela (Arlene Martel), but Tonio tries his best to stop the wedding since he believes his mother has returned from the heavens. Manuela is sympathetic to Tonio’s feelings and decides to call of the wedding and leave town. Bertrille convinces her otherwise, and then tells Tonio that she has to leave. Tonio seeks solace in the arms of Manuela when she flies off and heads for home, realizing along the way that she still has Father Dominic’s pipe. 10/28/14
• 019. A Fish Story – 1/11/1968
  • Sister Sixto asks her fisherman Uncle Gus Mendoza (David Hurst) to supply a fish for a dinner that the Reverend Mother is putting on, but then they find out that he has taken the fish from Lily’s Fish Shack, run by his friend Lily Romano (Norma Crane). Turns out that fishing technology has made his one-boat operation obsolete and he is unable to pay back Lily the $600 he borrowed to buy it. Meanwhile creditors led by Mr. Ogden (Michael Fox) are hounding her for payment on her shop. Bertrille is convinced by Sister Sixto and Sister Jacqueline to help anonymously guide Gus to areas where there are a lot of fish by flying over the ocean and scouting. This goes well, with Gus making enough money to pay what he owes to Lily. But when the Reverend Mother finds out what Bertrille is doing, she insists that she stop and instead work with Gus to roll with the changing times. Meanwhile Ogden is ready to take over the Fish Shack, but thanks to some pleading by Bertrille, Gus decides to turn the boat over to the creditors and become an equal partner with Lily. 11/27/14
• 020. The Hot Spell – 1/18/1968
  • During a heat wave in San Tanco, superstitious mobster Rufus Morgan (Bruce Gordon) tries to strong-arm Carlos out of Casino Carlos a Go Go, but Carlos asks Sister Bertrille to return his favor of giving the convent air conditioners, by having the convent take ownership of the casino. He assumes that Morgan would leave the nuns alone, while he leaves town and lets Pedro operate it. Morgan insists on playing poker with Bertrille, who starts to lose all of the casino’s money. But when a ladybug – symbolizing good luck – lands on her arm during the game, she is able to pull out a bluff just at the right time and win the money back. He is ready to take his men and leave town, when he overhears Pedro talking to Carlos. He retires to his yacht for the night, and Bertrille takes to the air to talk him out of further intimidation. He thinks that seeing a flying nun is an omen, so he leaves town. Julie Gregg is Doris Finch. Peter Leeds and Stanley Beck are Morgan’s henchmen Burt and Martin. 11/28/14
• 021. My Sister, the Sister – 1/25/1968
  • Bertrille’s sister Jennifer Ethrington (Elinor Donahue) stops by San Juan on her way to do work in Brazil as an obstetrician for the Peace Corp. On the flight in, Jennifer meets Carlos and the two hit it off and make a date. As soon as Bertrille finds out, she interrupts their date to warn Jennifer that Carlos is a playboy. Jennifer still continues with the date which ends in a marriage proposal from Carlos. Meanwhile, the Reverend Mother has committed Jennifer to visit an inland village to treat a patient named Pedro possibly bitten by a rabid dog. Bertrille joins them on a private flight, and they trudge to the village. While Jennifer gives the patient rabies shots, Bertrille knocks Carlos into some glass and he has to have Jennifer stitch up his rear end. Carlos is convinced that Bertrille was trying to sabotage his proposal and refuses to talk to either of them. Before leaving, Jennifer smooths things over with Carlos and he forgives all, relieved that Bertrille will not be his sister-in-law. NOTE: Bertrille reveals that her real name is Elsie Ethrington. 1/10/15
• 022. Sister Lucky – 2/1/1968
  • While collecting for the poor down at the docks, a worker named Juan (Michael Constantine) wins big at a craps game and attributes it to Bertrille being a lucky charm. Reverend Mother won’t let her keep Juan’s contribution to the convent so she returns it. Juan won’t take it, so she attempts to lose it to him at craps and ends up getting arrested along with Juan. Still trying to convince Juan that she isn’t lucky, she convinces the Captain to allow Carlos play blackjack at the prison, but Juan ends up winning the maximum that Carlos’ casino will allow. Meanwhile, the visiting Bishop Parnell (Booth Colman) waits to visit with Bertrille while she in jail so the Reverend Mother and Sister Jacqueline stall him. She takes a break and flies out of prison to have a long chat with the Bishop. While she is gone, Juan loses all of his money. When she returns, he insists on playing high card with Carlos using his marker…but he ultimately loses, proving once and for all that luck doesn’t exist. He is unable to pay Carlos though and is forced to work off his debt in the casino. Jamie Farr appears as Juan’s friend Manuel. 1/10/15
• 023. The Sister and the Old Salt – 2/8/1968
  • Sister Bertrille meets an old sea captain named Otis Barnaby (J. Pat O’Malley), who weave tall tales for her and the kids at school, and plans to sail from San Juan to Miami, communicating only with the nuns and the kids. Otis’s statistician son Conrad (Jonathan Daly) informs Bertrille that his father has never sailed a day in his life and is actually an insurance salesman from Nebraska, and asks her to talk him out of sailing to Florida. Otis makes a case that he’s studied for this for his whole life, and she respects his need to sail. He heads out and is soon overtaken by a storm and loses his supplies and radio contact. Bertrille flies out to take him radio parts and food, but Otis think he is hallucinating and refers to her as “Sister Figment.” When he tells his son this via radio, Otis thinks he has gone crazy and sends the Coast Guard after him. But when Bertrille shows Otis that she can really fly, he calls them back off. Inspired by his father’s spontaneity, Conrad gets married to a widow with four children. 3/3/15
• 024. Cyrano de Bertrille – 2/22/1968
  • When Bertrille meets produce vendor Pedro Alvarez (Albert Paulsen) and finds out that he is illiterate, she allows him to join her class of children to learn how to read and write and impress his female pen pal from Miami. The Reverend Mother correctly assumes that Bishop Pool (Oliver McGowan) will not approve, but hopes that if Pedro advances far enough in his skills that the Bishop will approve the convent teaching an adult class. But when Pedro creates a sign that reads “Welcome Bish. Fool,” he nixes the idea. Bertrille keeps teaching him to read and soon he becomes quite adept… enough to read a letter from his pen pal that she is marrying another man. Dejected he returns to work and refuses to continue in the class. But during the Bishop’s next visit, he returns to the class to talk about all the things he can now read… including his accounting book, proving that his business partner Juan Cortez (Julio Medina) has been robbing him blind. SONG: Not to Be Confused. 3/3/15
• 025. The Reconversion of Sister Shapiro – 2/29/1968
  • Sister Bertrille flies home from a conference in New Orleans and runs into Carlos at the airport where he is picking up his ‘adopted’ niece Linda Shapiro (Pamelyn Ferdin), whose parents will be joining them for vacation. Carlos also gets called away on business and Sister Bertrille agrees to watch her at the convent. Linda is very shy, but soon warms up to Bertrille and her lifestyle, especially when she sees her fly. By the time Linda’s parents (Laurence Haddon, June Whitley) arrive, Linda has decided to become a nun. When the nuns try to convince her otherwise, Linda gets upset… until Bertrille shows them all home movies of herself in her younger years as she tries out different careers: a surfer, a member of the rock group The Gories, a mechanic, and a model. This convinces Linda that she should take time to find out what she wants to do in her youth… starting with learning to surf. SONG: The Ballad of Chopsticks. 4/13/15
• 026. Where There’s a Will – 3/14/1968
  • Sportsman C. Everett Prin has left his estate to the convent, but by the time it is stripped of gambling debts and taxes, all they end up with the boxing contract of “The Buffalo Buzzsaw” Mike Severin (Ron Masak). Mike enjoys helping out around the convent, although he is eating his weight in food. Bertrille convinces Carlos to take a cut of his contract in exchange for helping him get a prize fight with the hopes that a promoter will become interested in him. Carlos helps train him, at one point getting punched in the process, and Bertrille flies to show him that everything is possible. He gets him a fight with someone named El Carnicero, a boxer who isn’t that good, and will make Mike’s contract appealing. When Mike finds this out he runs away from the convent. Sister Bertrille tracks him down and he admits that he hates fighting, but he ends up taking the fight and knocking out El Carnicero. Both Mike and Carlos offer their share of the purse so that the convent can fix their electric problems. The nuns end up giving Mike his contract so that he could negotiate it on his own. He ends up asking Carlos for a job as a chef in his restaurant, and Carlos agrees. Regis Cordic is Mr. Bragen. 4/13/15
• 027. The Puce Albert – 3/21/1968
  • Carlos, while doing his active two-week duty with the Marine Reserves, comes under fire by the over-zealous and skeptical Captain Daniel ‘Do-or-Die’ Dolger (John Dehner) for smuggling a girl named Ginger (Toby Adler) onto the island where they are stationed to play war games. When Carlos finds out that Dolger is the Reverend Mother’s cousin, he sends for Bertrille to get him out of trouble with Dolger. Bertrille arrives via flight, but Dolger doesn’t believe her when she tells him how she got there. He even visits the Reverend Mother, but doesn’t believe her either, fearing that everyone is on the side of the ‘enemy’. He finally believes in Bertrille when he sees her flying, and when she gives him reports that an approaching ship convoy is a decoy for another battalion that she can see when she flies, Dolger finally looks the other way when Carlos brings Ginger back to the island after receiving a commendation from the Colonel (John Newton) for his war games victory. Hal England is Lt. Willis. Barry Russo is a guard.  7/8/15
• 028. May the Wind Be Always at Your Back – 3/28/1968
  • Two gifted students, Bridgett Faulkner (Cindy Cassell) and Joel Bascomb (Craig Huxley), are rewarded for their academic achievements with a dinner in the city with Sister Bertrille and Carlos. Bridgett initially doesn’t want to go, but Bertrille talks her into it. Considering herself a wallflower, she thinks that she is unattractive to men, but Carlos charms and her and convinces her that she will soon flower. He lays it on too thick, and soon Bridgett can think of nothing but beautifying herself for Carlos. Joel is concerned that Bridgett is blowing off an important paper that she must submit in order to qualify for a college in Dublin, and tells Bertrille. She tries to get Carlos to make it clear that he is too old for her, and despite trying to do so with sensitivity, Carlos’ girlfriend Candy Cain (Maura McGiveney) reveals that Bridgett is a ‘problem’ to Carlos. Bridgett storms out and goes into a state of depression, but is able to bounce back when Joel tells her how much he likes and cares for her. They attend a party together that Carlos is ostensibly throwing for his niece. Julio Medina is the head waiter. Keith Schultz is a student. 7/9/15
• 029. Love Me, Love My Dog – 4/4/1968
  • A small-time crook named Janus Zayukovsky (Neil Nephew) is arrested when his dog Raffles steals a purse. Janus tells the story to his cellmate Earl (Dort Clark) of how he is trying to reform, but Raffles still remembers how to steal. Raffles then wonders to the beach where the nuns are letting the children play. Raffles gravitates to a lonely boy named Jamie (Mark Dymally), and Sister Bertrille is able to convince the Reverend Mother to let Raffles hang around the convent while they search for the owner since Raffles seems to bring Jamie out of his shell. Unfortunately when the nuns take Raffles into town, he snatches several purses and puts them in the nuns’ car. When they discover this, they try to return them, but when they get a flat tire, Raffles loads the purses into Office Peralta’s (Frank Ramirez) car when he helps them. With all of the trouble, the Reverend Mother insists that the dog is taken to the pound if the owner is not found in two days, especially after Raffles steals Monsignor Houk’s (Martin Ashe) wallet. Jamie runs off with the dog, but by then Janus has gotten out of jail and found the nuns’ ad in the paper for the lost dog. They are able to find Jamie and Raffles, Bertrille flies and returns the wallet to Monsignor Houk, and with the nuns’ help, Janus is able to finally go straight and re-train Raffles not to steal. 9/6/15
• 030. You Can’t Get There from Here – 4/11/1968
  • During a flight Sister Bertrille loses the wind and falls to a remote uninhabited island, damaging her cornette when it lands in the water. Remarkably she finds Carlos stranded on the island as well, having been thrown off his own yacht by his date April Chance (Bridget Hanley). The two reminisce through flashback a few of the times that Bertrille has caused him trouble with women or interrupted his dates. April then washes up on shore having wrecked Carlos’s yacht, and Bertrille tries desperately to keep them away from each other because they are so angry at one another. Eventually they meet up and Carlos finds out that April has wrecked his yacht and tries to attack her, but they are interrupted when they have to save Bertrille from sinking in quicksand. The two reconcile, and Bertrille is now able to use her repaired coronette to fly off the island for help, making Carlos promise that he will behave like a gentleman with April while she is gone. 9/6/15

SEASON 2

• 031. Song of Bertrille – 9/26/1968
  • Bertrille finds out that her old schoolmate Sonny Howard (Paul Petersen) and his band The Sundowners (themselves) are going to be performing at Carlos-a-Go-Go, so she is granted permission to go and see him. They reminisce about young Elsie’s performing back in school, and Sonny offers her a royalty payment to make convent repairs if she writes a song for him. Bertrille has writer’s block until she goes for a flight and comes up with a lovely ditty about nature called A Whole New World. She turn it over to Sonny, who invites all the nuns to come watch them perform. The song is a hit, but the band has made it over into an acid rock song, much to the disappointment of the Reverend Mother and Bertrille, who tries to explain that she didn’t write the song that way. Bertrille refuses payment and insists on singing the song the way she composed it, accompanied by her students. Not only is the Reverend Mother pleased with it, but Sonny’s manager Manny Julian (Jerry Hausner) insists that she keep the royalty check because he wants to turn the song over to another act he represents: The Salt Lake City Boys Choir. Bertrille goes on a flight while milling over a b-side to the song. A.G. Vitanza is Carlos’s casino manager Ramon. 12/5/15
• 032. The Crooked Convent – 10/3/1968
  • When the bumbling new San Tanco Captain of Police Gaspar Fomento (Vito Scotti) loses quite a bit of money at the nuns’ bazaar, he is convinced that the convent is running a crooked operation. His Police Chief Galindo (Don Diamond) thinks he is crazy, so Fomento enlist the police station’s gardener Nacio (Frank Ramirez) to work under cover at the convent and report back anything suspicious. Nacio does a fine job with the gardening, but receives an inordinate amount of phone calls from family members. Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline come to realize that Nacio is actually a bookmaker taking bets on the horse races. Jacqueline imparts her knowledge of horse racing, causing Fomento to think that it is actually the nuns taking illegal bets. Fomento once again looks foolish in front of Galindo, when the truth is revealed, and what’s more that Nacio had been taking bets via at the police station as well. Nacio sends $500 to the convent since he had acted on the tip that he overheard from Sister Jacqueline, which the Reverend Mother reluctantly accepts. 12/5/15
• 033. The Rabbi and the Nun – 10/10/1968
  • Sister Bertrille receives a box of treasures from her deceased aunt, and among the items inside is a menorah which she takes to and donates to the Temple Beth Shalom and donates to Rabbi Mendez (Harold Gould). While there she runs into engaged couple Alfredo Acquilar (Edmund Hashim), who has made frequent contributions to the convent, and his fiancee Sophia Baldazon (Frances Spanier), who is a former bookkeeper of Carlos’s. The couple cannot agree on where to hold the wedding, and often argue over Alfredo’s gambling problem. Despite the oddness of holding a Jewish wedding at the convent, Bertrille convinces the Reverand Mother and the couple to do just that. However the wedding falls into jeopardy when Alfredo loses $300 at Carlos’s casino. Bertrille convinces Carlos to let him win his money back by using loaded dice, but after Alfredo wins $900 of Carlos’s money, Carlos ends up being arrested by Captain Fomento for using the dice. Rabbi Mendez talks Fomento into dropping the charges. The wedding is held and the nuns perform a song and dance in the spirit of the Jewish ceremony. Bertrille creates a Star of David by skywriting as she flies. Mendez is made an honorary member of the Jewish people. Bertrille convinces Carlos to loan his yacht for the honeymoon, since Alfredo has gambled away the $900 that he won. Lillian Adams is “Grandma.” 2/3/16 
• 034. The Return of Father Lundigan – 10/17/1968
  • After months of therapy after seeing Sister Bertrille fly by his airplane window, Father Lundigan (now played by Paul Lynde) returns to San Tanco to note his findings. Meanwhile Bertrille is nursing a toothache and the Reverend Mother forces her to see dentist Dr. Paredes (Bernie Kopell) who is forced to hypnotize her to calm her down. Carlos also happens to be at the dentist and jokingly asks Paredes to offer some post-hypnotic suggestion to Bertrille for her to act like the Reverend Mother. To prove that he could do it if he wants, he suggests to a hypnotized Bertrille and Reverend Mother that they take on each other’s personalities when they hear the word “red.” Paredes then rushes off to the hospital where his wife is having a baby, forgetting to take the hypnotic suggestion away from them. Back at the convent Father Lundigan continues to report his findings, but is now astonished that the Reverend Mother claims she can fly. The nuns too notice the odd behavior in the Reverend Mother, who has also purchased a supply of ‘mini-habits’ from salesman Señor Quesada (Sid Haig). The nuns think that Bertrille is merely doing a funny impression of the Reverend Mother and caution her to be careful that she doesn’t get caught. While at the hospital, Paredes suddenly remembers that he forgot to remove the suggestion and rushes to the convent, only to find the Reverend Mother ready to jump off the balcony thinking she can fly. Lundigan heads back on his plane, and Sister Bertrille does another fly-by just to keep him nice and confused before reporting his findings. Stefani Warren is the stewardess. 2/4/16
• 035. The Convent Is Condemned – 10/24/1968
  • Captain Fomento is getting so bored with his job that he issues the convent a citation for not having a permit for their clothes drive. Sister Bertrille goes to get clothes from Carlos and overhears Ramon tell him several ashtrays had been stolen from the casino. Later she runs into Fomento, who tells her that he is going to quit his job because of the boredom, so she tells him about the stolen ashtrays – resulting in Fomento raiding the casino to get to the bottom of it. Carlos is so angry that he decides to leave San Tanco for a much more lucrative offer in in San Felipe. In order to get him to stay, Bertrille and the other sisters concoct a plan whereby they give the illusion that entire convent is falling apart, ultimately resulting in Fomento condemning it. When Bertrille tells Carlos about the condemned convent, he decides to stay and help them by claiming to be putting in a bid to buy the convent and convert it into a nightclub and casino. Fomento, knowing that his boss will be furious with him if the convent is forced to close, retracts the condemnation and citations. The San Tanco police department is reduced to a staff of one… Captain Fomento. 4/29/16
• 036. The Organ Transplant – 11/7/1968
  • When the organ at San Tanco falls apart, Sister Bertrille gets an auctioneer (Fabian Dean) to sell her an old replacement for $10. Meanwhile Carlos anxiously agrees to help Bertrille transport it in order to blow off his uncle Manuel (Joseph Bernard) who is trying to get Carlos to audition his step-daughter Felicia Fiero (Abbe Lane). However when Carlos gets a look at how attractive Felicia is, he can’t wait to get back and try and date her, but Bertrille and Sister Ana persuade him to help assemble the organ. The Reverend Mother finds the organ ghastly, and making it worse is that every time a high C note is played, glass shatters. Finally the Reverend Mother insists that Bertrille get the organ out of the convent, and Carlos once again jumps at the opportunity to help in order to avoid hearing Felicia sing. Felicia follows him to the convent and he finds that she can not only play the organ, but sings beautifully as well. Carlos takes the organ for her act and replaces it with another. Bertrille flies and tries to get to Carlos to warn him that it will shatter glass since he has removed the piece that she put in to blocked the high C note…but it is too late. Jose Haas is the doorman. 5/1/16
• 037. Two Bad Eggs – 11/14/1968
  • Because they are eating the sugar cane crop in Puerto Rico, the Condorillo Hawks have been outlawed and open season is declared on them. When a hunter mistakenly mistakes Sister Bertrille for one and she is shot at, she takes pity on two Condorillo eggs that belonged to a hawk that was killed. She takes them back to the convent to give them safe refuge. However she is spotted flying by tourists Fred (Del Moore) and Millie (Diana Herbert), who mistake her for an alien with her young alien eggs. Meanwhile Carlos asks for refuge at the convent as well when he fears an old girlfriend who is a sharpshooter and karate champion named Margo Richmond (Stefani Warren) is going to force him to marry her. Bertrille and the nuns hide the illegal eggs from the Reverend Mother, but Sister Sixto has a guilty conscience and tells her about the eggs, which by now have hatched. The Reverend Mother gives Bertrille permission to care for the hawks. The tourists however report Bertrille to Captain Fomento, who comes to the convent in search of the eggs. Bertrille flies away and gives the eggs to the San Juan zoo. Margo shows up to see Carolos with a gun… but she has already planned to marry another man and is merely presenting Carlos with a rifle that he liked. Nevertheless Carlos flees dressed like a nun, as the Fred and Millie become more convinced that aliens have taken over. This is exacerbated even further when they spot Bertrille with twins (Tim and Terry Walkey), and think they are the hatched aliens. Lew Palter is the zookeeper. 8/4/16
• 038. All Alone by the Convent Phone – 11/21/1968
  • All the nuns at San Tanco are off at a charity event except for Sister Bertrille, who is staying back with sick student Felix (Linnard Lane). Bertrille hears on the radio that a bank robber named Ignacio Farrante (Cliff Osmond) has escaped custody and is in the area. Captain Fomento checks on the convent and tells Bertrille that Farrante has a mustache, but Farrante hears this on the radio and shaves it off. Thus when he does in fact show up at the convent, Bertrille is actually anxious to have him stay. Eventually he reveals himself, and when Fomento returns, Farrante disguises himself as the ‘Mother General’, who has taken a vow of silence. Fomento turns over his gun to them for protection, which Farrante uses to take Fomento and Bertrille as hostage. In a moment of bravery, Fomento refuses to comply and demands that Farrante gives himself up. When Farrante sees Bertrille fly into the wind, he drops the gun in surprise and is arrested. When Fomento realizes how close he was to danger, he faints. 8/4/16
• 039. It’s an Ill Windfall – 11/28/1968
  • A former San Tanco orphan named Juan Hernando donates a $5000 check to the convent, but when Bertrille heads off to deposit it a wind catches it, and it lands in a bird’s nest, is picked up by a crow, and dropped down a chimney where the signature is burned off. The sisters begin looking for Juan in the phone book, but there are scads of them. They come across ‘Honest’ Juan Hernando (Gino Conforti) who is running for Mayor in San Rafael, who believes that they are trying to donate money to him, and as part of his campaigning says he will use the money for the town, even getting it published in the paper. The nuns visit him and disappoint him when he finds out the truth, but in order not to receive bad press, he says he will donate the money. As the real Juan Hernando (Luis de Cordova) visits the convent and re-writes the check, the Bishop (Francis de Sales) calls and warns the Reverend Mother not to get involved with the Honest Juan Hernando. She throws out the real Hernando, and is then informed by the nuns that he wasn’t the same Hernando that they met with. The nuns fetch him, but he has been made to feel guilty about donating tainted money from his bad business practices, but still makes a donation of $100, the only amount he made honestly. The nuns visit with Honest Juan and get him to campaign honestly but vows to his constituents that he will attend church every week. Jack Bernardi is Honest Juan’s assistant Senor Tomas. Paul Micale is the homeowner where the check burns. Larry Gelman, John Goddard, Diana Hale are rally supporters. 10/13/16
• 040. Slightly Hot Parking Meters – 12/12/1968
  • Captain Fomento has talked Chief Galindo into installing used parking meters that he purchased from a defunct town in Florida into San Tanco. He also impounds the nuns’ car because it has no functioning headlights. Carlos is exceptionally irritated by the parking meters because they are affecting his business at the casino, and he also loans Sister Bertrille his car. Bertrille plugs a meter for a stranger (William Edmonson) so he won’t get a ticket, and he ends up making a $10 donation to the convent. Orphans Rosa (Sylvia Marino) and Miguel (Tony Davis) take this as a cue to plug meters and leave a note that might solicit further donations. Fomento blames the nuns, but when he finds out it was the kids, he makes them write sentences. Meanwhile someone has been stealing money from the meters, so Fomento gets an idea to place marked change in them. Bertrille visits Mr. Montoya (Rodolfo Hoyos Jr.) at the junkyard to buy used headlights at the same time that the meter salesmen, who had kept a key and have been robbing the meters, sell some to Montoyo. Bertrille winds up with some of the marked change that they used, and when Fomento finds it on the sister, he and Sgt. Salazar (Michael Pataki) believe she might be the thief. Bertrille spots the real thieves Dominick (Rico Alaniz) and Felix (Ray Hastings), but Salazar sees Bertrille at the opened parking meter after the act. Just as Fomento is about to tag Bertrille in front Chief Galindo, Bertrille fingers the real thieves. She is irritated with Fomento until he has her car fixed, gives her a commendation, and writes sentence of his own. 10/13/16
• 041. To Fly or Not to Fly – 12/19/1968
  • The Reverend Mother gets to choose someone to accompany her to a conference in Chicago, but since it is the ‘windy city’, she bypasses Sister Bertrille even though she would have been the most qualified for fear that she would swept up in the wind. With a novice rededication ceremony coming up and a visit from the Mother General (Spring Byington), Sister Bertrille looks for ways to keep grounded. She seeks the help of Carlos who takes her to his friend George Bragan (C. Lindsay Workman), an aeronautical engineer, who advises that if the ‘aircraft’ she tells him about was five pounds heavier, it would stay grounded. She tries eating to gain the weight, but find it only causes her to lose control of her flight. Bertrille tries using a dog as an anchor, attaching weights to her shoes, and finally tying a rope around her controlled by the other nuns. However when Sister Teresa doesn’t leave enough slack on the rope, Bertrille is unable to approach the Mother General for the rededication. The Reverend Mother assists her and holds her down for the ceremony, later telling Bertrille that her flying is a God-given talent and she should use it wisely. Bertrille takes a long flight, as the Mother General wonders where Bertrille seems to have disappeared to. 1/14/17
• 042. How to Be a Spanish Grandmother – 12/26/1968
  • Carlos, having previously told his grandmother (Lillian Adams) on what he thought was her deathbed that he was married with two children, now faces a dilemma when she plans a visit to see him en route to Rome for an audience with the Pope. Sister Bertrille and the nuns encourage him to tell the truth, but everything he approaches anything close to telling her, she swoons as if she is going to have a heart attack. Seeing a picture of Bertrille’s sister Jennifer on his desk, Grandmother believes this to be Carlos’s wife, so Carlos arranges for her to come visit by telling her that there is an emergency with Bertrille. She shows up with her fiancee Paul (Richard Anders) complicating things even more. Even Jennifer can’t resist playing the part of his wife, knowing it will kill Grandmother if she doesn’t. Bertrille uses students Pepe (Ricky Cordell) and Rita (Debra Domasin) to pose as their children. But when Grandmother spies Jennifer kissing Paul, and Carlos kissing another woman, she decides to leave with the kids for Argentina. Bertrille flies to the airport to stop her and finally reveals the whole truth, and stands by to call the ambulance. However Grandmother is ecstatic that Carlos is such a loving grandson that he would go to such great lengths to keep her happy. 1/14/17
• 043. The Landlord Cometh – 1/2/1969
  • The surviving member of the De Cordova family, Fabio (Jay Novello) who owns the convent and has been leasing it to the nuns for one dollar every year since 1572, shows up for the 99-year lease renewal… but refuses to lease it this year. He has been suffering with hard times and needs a place to live. However when the nuns offer to allow him to sleep in the gardeners cottage, he agrees. Unfortunately he beings to make a nuisance of himself with his particular way of wanting food and doing things. Captain Fomento believes that Fabio is an impostor and attempts to prove so… falling flat with his lack of evidence. But with Fomento on his trail, Fabio believes that a former crime – stealing a woman’s dowry – is about to be revealed, so he leaves the area. Later after leaving, he finds the woman whose dowry he stole and reconciles with her… hoping to return to the convent, of which he has renewed the lease, to spend the honeymoon. Ivor Francis is Señor Moreno from the bank. 5/2/17
• 044. Sister Socko in San Tanco – 1/16/1969
  • Sister Bertrille’s student Michael Antonio (Manuel Padilla Jr.) is excited that his Uncle Marko (Victor Buono), a famous magician is coming to visit him. When a boiler brekas at the convent, Bertrille gets the idea to host a benefit using Marko, but he refuses to perform… although he later promises to do the act if he can get two openers. Bertrille arranges for the children’s choir to perform, and the nuns form their own singing group as well. Bertrille spots Marko failing at some magic tricks, and realizes that his arthritis is preventing him from performing. Marko slinks out of town, but Bertrille flies to find him and convinces him to come back and put on his performance, which includes her as the ‘floating’ nun. The kids sing Come to My Parade and the nuns sing Gonna Build a Mountain. Vincent Arias is Pedro. Dorothy Neumann is Sister Mary. 5/3/17
• 045. A Star Is Reborn – 1/23/1969
  • With her producer Harold Harmon (Gavin MacLeod) on her trail, actress Sabrina Lewis (Patricia Barry) boards Carlos’s boat in disguise. While on board, Carlos tries to convince her to reconcile with her fiancee Spencer Michaels (Anthony Eisley), but she jumps overboard. Sister Bertrille, who has taken to the air to get a closer look at the actress, swoops down to rescue her from the water and takes her back to San Tanco to convalesce. Sabrina, who thinks she was saved by an angel, decides that she wants to become a nun. As Harmon tries to serve her with a 2.5 million dollar lawsuit for reneging on her film contract using a phony tourist (Jonathan Hole) who is actually a process server, Sabrina petition the Reverend Mother to accept her the convent. Bertrille tries to rehearse her with the questions she thinks the Mother will ask, but the Mother can only take it under advisement. When the phony tourist fails, Harmon hires an actor to come dressed as a priest to get Sabrian change her mind. Father Duffy (Alan Mowbray), whom they assume is the actor, comes to visit San Tanco, while Carlos convinces Mr. Driver, the real actor (Bill Quinn), to abandon his ruse. The nuns nearly deafen Father Duffy with the giant bell, feed him vinegar, and throw a pie in his face… before the Reverend Mother intercedes. Sabrina finally confesses that she may have jumped the gun in wanting to become a nun… and the Reverend Mother shows her Bertrille doing some flying so she realizes that she didn’t actually have an angelic vision. Sabrina returns to Spencer and her work. 12/20/17
• 046. The Great Casino Robbery (Part 1) – 1/30/1969
  • Sister Bertrille receives a visit from her Uncle Reggie Overton Perkins (Alan Hale Jr.), who has been estranged by the rest of her family for losing their fortunes. Reggie seems to have an angle for pulling small con jobs. Uncle Reggie also gets a job at Casino Carlos as a pit boss and adviser, giving Carlos many great ideas for increasing business, including putting a window in place so that the patrons can see the money being counted. A couple named Bruce (Dick Gautier) and Faye (Ruta Lee) see the money and scam to rob it. Bruce starts off by telling Reggie about collectible money, who enthusiastically has the idea to search through the casino money with the nuns in order to find valuable currency to raise money for the convent. Faye poses as a nun named Sister Mary Grace and comes to stay at the convent, and ends up tagging along to the casino, gathering information on the location and combination of Carlos’s safe. The next night at the casino, Faye fakes a malaria attack, and Reggie is sent to the car to gather her medicine, at which time Bruce sneaks into the casino, disables the alarm, and steals roughly fifty thousand dollars when the nuns take Faye back to the convent. Carlos calls Captain Fomento to investigate Uncle Reggie, who has left his hotel room already. Sister Bertrille is irritated that Carlos is blaming her uncle, but secretly believes he is the culprit. NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. 12/20/17
• 047. The Great Casino Robbery (Part 2) – 2/6/1969
  • Sister Jacqueline narrates the events of the previous episode. Although both Carlos and Captain Fomento think that Uncle Reggie is guilty, when Reggie calls Bertrille to meet up with him, she flies to his location in the barn of Senior Rodriguez (Roger De Coven) a few miles away. Captain Fomento brings him in, and he professes his innocence, but although Fomento is inclined to believe him, Bertrille suggest that he arrest Reggie in order to smoke out the real thieves. However the nuns make the mistake of telling ‘Sister Mary Grace’ that it was a ploy as they are heading to the airport. Bertrille spots her giving Bruce a kiss, so when Mary Grace feigns malaria again, she spots Bruce leaving with suitcases. She takes the info back to the other nuns, and when they interrogate her about her past, they are certain she is in on the scam. While this information is being shared with Fomento, Carlos, and Uncle Reggie, Faye sneaks out and escapes with Bruce. Bertrille flies off and follows them to their hideout, where they overhear Bertrille spying on them, but she is able to elude them by hovering over them and then stealing their car to drive off. The crooks grab the money and begin walking toward the boat that Bruce bought from Carlos, while Bertrille heads back to the convent. The police head out to catch them and Bertrille lends a hand by flying to them. She makes it to the boat before the police, and Bruce pulls a gun on her. When he trips and the gun goes off, and then they see her floating above them, they think they’ve killed her. The police show up and arrest the couple, who are surprised to see that Bertrille is indeed alive. Carlos recovers his money. Bertrille does a quick flight as a favor to Uncle Reggie before he leaves… which was  ploy for him to show Mr. Barnum (John Myhers), who tries to make an offer for her to join his circus. 8/22/18
• 048. The Boyfriend – 2/13/1969
  • Sister Bertrille suffers from nervous exhaustion after taking care of the entire convent when all of the nuns are laid up with a virus. As reward she is sent to San Juan’s Hotel Palamar for some rest and relaxation with Sister Jacqueline. While there she and an old boyfriend Randy Putman (Dwayne Hickman), spy each other across the pool. He is a toy salesman in town for a convention and relates the story of how he met Elsie at Camp Laughing Water to his associate Tom Grant (Robert Hastings). Although he relates it that he was commanding while she was painfully shy, Bertrille relates the meeting story just the opposite to Sister Jacqueline. Initially Randy doesn’t realize she’s a nun and tries to set her up to double-date with Tom when his fiancee Liz (Cynthia Pepper) is set to arrive. However when he finds out she’s a nun, he suddenly remembers their breakup in which she claimed she’d become a nun after dating him. He feels guilty and phones his therapist, and then later spies Bertrille flying around San Juan. Thinking he is having a breakdown, he calls off his engagement with Liz and begins sending Bertrille gifts as an apology. Bertrille comes to see Randy at the same time Liz does, and although neither can get through to him, Bertrille tells Liz the true story of the breakup. In truth, Bertrille ended the relationship and sarcastically said that she would need to become a nun. Liz thinks it will make him feel too foolish if he learns the truth, so Bertrille and Tom come up with an idea for Bertrille to use puppets to tell Randy that he has awoken true feelings in her again. This sends him running back to Liz to reconcile and they wind up married and on an Alaskan honeymoon. His ‘vision’ also inspires his latest toy: a nun doll with a jet-pack. Dante Andreas is Bishop Diaz. 8/22/18
• 049. The Kleptomonkeyac – 2/20/1969
  • Carlos asks the convent to babysit a cute little fellow named Pepe, but it is not until he arrives with him that they learn that Pepe is actually a chimpanzee owned by his acquaintance Dolores (Ivana Kislinger). They reluctantly agree to take him in, with Sister Bertrille leading the charge that she will primarily care for him. Little do they know that Pepe is also a kleptomaniac and begins stealing things throughout the village and convent and hiding them in Bertrille’s closet, including the pocket watch of Captain Fomento, who is hot on the trail of the thief. When Sister Jacqueline finds the loot inside Bertrille’s closet, she assumes that it is Bertrille who is the thief and shares this information with the Reverend Mother. Committed to protect her, they steer Fomento away and then follow Bertrille when she goes into town to buy more jelly beans for Pepe. The store proprietor Señor Espinoza (Ernest Sarracino) tells Bertrille to take whatever she needs for the orphans as part of his contribution. Jacqueline naturally think she is stealing more thing and proceeds to sneakily put it all back. When Pepe takes a silver plated candle holder from the convent, Bertrille follows him, while Fomento and his partner Sgt. Salazar overhear the nuns state that Bertrille took the candle holder. Fomento is about to arrest Bertrille much to the chagrin of his superior Chief Galindo (now played by Rodolfo Hoyos Jr.). However before he can lay the charge on her, Carlos and Dolores show up at the police station and inform them that Pepe steals things. Fomento is forced to eat crow once again, and when Pepe steals his badge, Galindo tells him to just keep it. 5/7/19
• 050. The Moo Is Blue – 2/27/1969
  • Farmer Señor Gonzalo (Pedro Gonzales Gonzales), who had been supplying the convent with milk, decides to move away to St. Thomas and offers his cow Alicia to the convent if they’ll make the payments on his tractor. She brings the cow back to the convent and tries to show the children how to milk the cow, she finds that Alicia won’t give milk. She tries to keep it a secret, but eventually it becomes obvious that the food being prepared doesn’t contain any milk. The veterinarian Dr. Escobar (Davis Roberts) comes to see Alicia and tells Bertrille that she is lonely. Bertrille tries setting up a mirror, and having Gonzalo talk to Alicia on the phone, but the efforts are fruitless. The Reverend Mother tells Bertrille to sell her to a butcher, but Bertrille tries to sidestep the directive and sell her to someone who would keep her alive for other uses. With no luck, she turns to Carlos help her transport Alicia to Gonzalo in St. Thomas, but even when he refuses, Carlos’s girlfriend Danielle (Danielle De Metz) agrees. Although Carlos nearly throws a fit, they get Alicia to Gonzalo, who nearly isn’t able to figure out Alicia’s problem, but once he starts singing as he milks her, she finally give milk. Bertrille takes the cow back to San Tanco and she and the students sing her What a Question . Danielle gives Carlos his reward for being so sweet to the sisters: a glass of milk. Bertrille’s students include Damingo (Tim Weldon), Alberto (Jorge Marino), Felicia (Sylvia Marino), Margarete (Monika Ramirez), and Carmelita (Marie Esponoza). 5/20/19
• 051. The Breakaway Monk – 3/6/1969
  • Carlos is going to have his tax returns audited, so he asks the convent to help him come up with the receipts for all that he has donated. The Reverend Mother is happy to help, but is afraid that they have kept very poor records, so they call in the accident-prone Brother Paul, who is both a monk and an accountant. In order to keep him from having accidents, they try to child proof the convent, and Sister Bertrille follows him everywhere… but in order to spare him accidents, she keeps having them herself. When the auditor Mr. O’Reilly (Charles Lane) tells Carlos that he is coming to audit him, they all decide it will help persuade him to be lenient if they perform it in the convent. As Paul and Bertrille gather up the receipts, she is swept by the wind, and when Paul pulls her down, all of the receipts blow away. Bertrille uses her flying go and gather them from all around San Juan. However O’Reilly soon grows impatient and thinks that Carlos is using the monk and the convent as a front. He storms out, but Sister Bertrille grabs the last receipts and flies to him and presents them. This is enough of a kicker to get O’Reilly to sign off on the audit. Brother Paul readies himself to depart, but in trying to keep him from destroying the gate, Bertrille crashes through it, so Brother Paul insists on staying to help repair it. Natividad Vacio is the bricklayer. 2/3/20
• 052. Happy Birthday Dear Gaspar – 3/13/1969
  • Captain Gaspar Fomento warns the sisters about a pothole in their driveway when he knocks a tooth loose driving over it. He gives them just two days to repair it but Chief Galindo tells them that they can take all of the time they need. Meanwhile the nuns prepare to throw a birthday party for a student also named Gaspar (Timmy Weldon), but when Fomento sees his cake at Mr. Dyquisto’s (Fabian Dean) bakery, he believes the sisters are throwing him a party for his 40th birthday. This seems to be verified when Fomento shows up at Carlos’s casino and sees a present with his first name on it., and then when Bertrille asks him to come to the party to do card tricks for the children, he believes that is her way of getting him to his own party. However when he also visits the convent to help patch up the pothole, he meets the child Gaspar and realizes he has made a mistake. The nuns discuss this and decide they must find a way to make Fomento believe the party was for him. Looking for a solution, they find one when Little Gaspar’s Uncle Ortiz offers to take him to San Marcos to visit the amusement park he runs. Once Fomento hears that he is leaving town, he once again believes the party is for him. Carlos phones him to tell him that his casino has been robbed, but believing it is a trick to get him there, Fomento shaves and takes his time getting there. Carlos is incredulous with how slow Fomento is moving, and even more so when he takes Carlos to convent, only to find no one there. Once again Fomento becomes sad when he believes he has once again makes a mistake, but when Carlos tries to cheer him up and take him back to the station, there they find  the nuns with a surprise party in cake, into which Fomento accidentally puts his hand after he finishes his heartfelt speech. 2/3/20
• 053. Cast Your Bread Upon the Waters – 3/20/1969
  • Roberto Sanchez (Roger De Koven), president of the San Juan Grocery Company, stops by the convent to get water for his car’s radiator, but stays to have a piece of the nuns’ freshly baked bread. With mounting bill for the convent, Sister Bertrille gets the idea to ask him to sell their bread. The Reverend Mother reluctantly agrees to go along with this, but Bertrille has to come up with enough money to buy a new and larger oven. Naturally she turns to Carlos, who is talked into giving her $1000 for a loaf of bread. She then has to return to him to borrow more money for the flour. Sister Jacqueline works on the marketing aspect and comes up with the name Mother’s Superior Bread. Once they manage to bake 200 loaves, Carlos helps rushing it to the grocery store while it is fresh, and ends up getting several citations from an officer (Jamie Farr) who delights in the fact that Bertrille keeps giving him additional things to cite Carlos for. Once the bread is dropped off, Bertrille gives Carlos a loaf of bread for his trouble. After he rushes off, Sister Sixto realizes her ring is missing, so they deduce that it is in a loaf of bread. They buy back all of the bread they can, but when they are unable to find it, Jacqueline suggest that they hold a contest and offer a year’s worth of bread to whomever finds the ring. It turns out that Carlos finds it, and has the missing tooth to prove it. Making matters worse, the bread suffers from a high return rate, and indeed it doesn’t taste as good as it had previously. Bertrille deduces that the new oven doesn’t bring out the old world flavor, and suggest they sell it and buy several old ovens which they can store by restructuring the chapel. When Reverend Mother scoffs at the idea, Bertrille throws out an additional one about selling brownies, before she is run off by the Reverend Mother. Cynthia Hull is Sister Theresa. 5/13/20
• 054. The Convent Gets the Business – 3/27/1969
  • The late Clotario Diaz bequeaths the convent a dry goods store that comes complete with all of the wares inside, but it is quite run down and the nuns do not have time to run it. In fact the first customer (Renatta Vanni) who comes through the door wants a refund on something she purchased previously. Meanwhile Ramon is complaining about the job performance of Carlos’s identical cousin Luis (Alejandro Rey), who seems hellbent on spending all of the profits on casino promotion, starting with giving out caviar as an appetizer in the bar. When Bertille comes to Carlos to help her place an ad for someone to manage the dry good store, he offers up Luis, mostly to get him out of his hair. Luis excitedly accepts the job and begins promoting the store by giving things away. Bertrille becomes his liaison at the convent and is frequently called away to handle things like delivering throw rugs and cutting Luis necktie when he gets it caught in the safe. During the first finance review, the Reverend Mother finds that they are in the red, or using Luis’s color coded accounting, in the brown. In order to prevent Luis from driving the business into the negative again, Carlos hires his customer to purchase large quantities of items. Things look as if they’re going well, but when Luis begins advertising that the San Tanco Convent owns the store, their competitor Flavio Pedrosa (Ernest Sarracino) begins complaining to them that it is unethical. They have Ramon take down the ad, but the damage is done and Pedrosa’s business begins to suffer. The Reverend Mother sees no way out other than to sell the store. Luis wants to have Carlos buy it for him, but Carlos privately confesses to Bertrille that he was behind the massive sales. He is ready to tell Luis no, but then Luis reminds him of a time when they were boys that Luis gave Carlos a frog that he really loved himself. Carlos buys the store for him, and Bertrille assists with his advertising by writing in the sky with a fire extinguisher. Argentina Brunetti is the customer who wants free stuff. Lew Palter is the customer who buys 50 handkerchiefs. Alma Beltran is the customer who buys everything suggested. Nelson D. Cuevas is the customer who buys button hooks. 5/13/20
• 055. Cousins By the Dozen – 4/3/1969
  • Carlos describes a number of times that Sister Bertrille has interrupted him when he is with a woman, then tells the latest tale. He has gotten into a fight with his current girlfriend Elena (Lisa Gaye), who has returned to her home island Culebra. He gets a phone call from Culebra, but it turns out to be his Uncle Antonio (Henry Corden) and Aunt Constancia (Athena Lorde) who want money from him. Carlos is sick of giving them money, so he suggests that Antonio get a job. Meanwhile Sister Bertrille brings children including Humberto (Mark Brown) and Violetta (Pamelyn Ferdin) to go on a boat ride that Carlos scheduled for them. Then he gets a call from Elena who wants to make up and invites him to come to Culebra. Carlos lies to Bertrille and tells her he is going to Culebra to help his Antonio since he hates his job, by moving him and his family into an extra house he has in San Juan. When Violetta begins crying from pain, they determine she has mumps, so Sister Bertrille flies off to Culebra to find Carlos to tell him he could possibly need to quarantine. Carlos sees Bertrille on the island but does everything possible to ignore her. Bertrille meanwhile visits Antonio and tells him how Carlos has promised to move them to his house. Carlos and Bertrille go to see Antonio so Bertrille can tell him it was a mistake, but when all he and Aunt Constancia can do is sing his praises, Carlos decides to actually move them in. During a storm, Antonio tells Carlos that their roof is leaking and he is having it repaired, so he will need to stay in Carlos’s house in the meantime. Lew Palter is Pepe, who helps Bertrille find out where Elena lives. Julio Medina is the Culebra farmer. Madeleine Holmes is Antono’s relative Lucia. Bert Santos is the cab driver. 8/27/20
• 056. The Lottery – 4/10/1969
  • While working on a fundraiser to make repairs at the convent, Sister Bertrille receives a donation from a poor farmer named Benito Gomez (David Hurst), who gives her a lottery ticket potentiall worth $25,000. The Reverend Mother thinks it is extremely unlikely that they will win the money, but Sister Bertrille is more optimistic about winning… but becomes pessimistc about the nuns’ reactions if they were to win, imagining that the sisters will become selfish and petty, demanding that the money is spent according to what each want. Bertrille gets permission to return the ticket to Benito and his wife Consuelo (Argentini Brunetti), but when she brings it back the Gomezes see her flying. They take this as a sign that the ticket is blessed and will be a winner. They call Consuelo’s brother Fernando (Al Checco) over and offer to let him buy a share of the ticket. He blabs about it to his wife Maria (Athena Lorde), who then gossips about it to a friend. This is overheard by the phone operator (Savannah Bentley) who spreads it all over town. Soon everyone in the area is lined up at Gomez’s house to buy into the ticket. Chief Golindo questions the Mother Superior because he has heard that a saint at San Tanco has blessed the ticket, to which she flatly denies they have any saints. He says that he will charge the Gomezes with fraud unless they return the money to their neighbors and stop selling them. Bertrille visits the Gomez house and attempts to tell everyone that she in not a saint and cannot fly, but they all think she is just trying to test her. She also uses reverse psychology to tell them that she really can fly and wants to do a demonstration at San Tanco. When they show up, she jumps out a giant window with a giant rope around her waist and pretends to try and fly. Everyone leaves disappointed and demands their money back on the ticket shares. Once the transaction is complete, it is announced that the Gomez’s ticket has won the money, causing the townspeople to chase Bertrille out of town. Later the Gomezes make some large donations to the convent, with the condition that they hire some of the townspeople to perform the work to keep them from hating the Gomezes so much. 8/28/20

SEASON 3

• 057. The Big Game – 9/17/1969
  • Sister Bertrille is coaching the San Tanco Little League team, and the Reverend Mother calls her out when she flies in an effort to not get tagged out. She faces a few different issues as coach, primarily the need for new equipment and uniforms… which she coaxes Carlos into donating in exchange for displaying the casino on the outfits. She is also involving the younger and smaller Armando (George Spell) as a pinch hitter, but he finds out he is going to have to miss the game when his new adoptive parents the Escobedos (Hal Frederick, Mimi Dillard) need to pick him up early so they can bring Armando with them to Miami where Mr. Escobedo is scheduled to receive an honorary degree. The team’s pitcher Fernando (Rudy Battaglia) becomes scared to pitch in their first game against the Lamar School Indians because he learns he is going to have to pitch to a girl. (Gina Picerni). He winds up become so distracted by her, he can’t seem to pitch to the males either. Nevertheless Carlos has enough pride in the team to place a $200 bet on them against his associate Delgado (Lee Delano). After Armando is picked up, the new parents realize how important baseball is to him, and when they get a flat tire, they seem to think it may be a message to them, so they return Armando to the game. Sister Bertrille orders Armando not to swing since she believes the Indians won’t be able to find his strike zone. But Armando takes three swings against her wishes, hitting the third one. Through a series of overthrows and errors by the Indians, Armando winds up with a home run. They lose the game 43-1, but Bertrille is convinced they had a solid moral victory. Manuel Padilla Jr. is player Marcello. Robert Valdes is player Ricardo. Don Drysdale appears as himself in Armando’s daydream, and then as the umpire in the game. Willie Davis appears as the Indians’ coach. 12/12/20
• 058. My Sister the Star – 9/24/1969
  • Sister Bertrille hosts a party for the children to kick off the new school year, and she brings in local TV star Claudio the Clown (Paul Winchell) as a special guest. She does the warm-up act for the kids, singing the song World Inside Your Pillow. Claudio is so impressed that he invites her on to his show. Bertrille is nervous, but accepts since she will be making paid $200 that she can donate to the convent. Despite the instructions from the director (Sid Grossfeld) and some tales from Claudio about how he fainted his first time on the air, Bertrille is a bundle of nerves when she goes on the air. Making matters worse, she struggles to find the entrance through the curtain. When she finally gets on stage, she performs the song A Whole New World flawlessly. Claudio’s agent Manuel Montique (Lawrence Montaigne) think she might be talented enough to have her own segment on the show. Bertrille tries to refuse, but the other nuns see the money-making potential and convince her to agree. As she goes on a flight, she daydreams about hitting it big and hiring Carlos as her manager. She imagines that she refuses to take her cornette off for her various acting roles, until the studios cave to her demands. She also imagines that the Reverend Mother becomes irritated by her attire on the air, and finally demands that she give up show business under threat of never becoming a full-fledged nun. As she comes down from her flight, she decides show business isn’t for her. She meets with Montique and makes demands about eliminating any ads that might corrupt children, and then demands that she have a sermon or prayer segment on every show. Montaigne decides that she won’t be a good fit after all, but agrees to make a large donation to the convent instead, thus appeasing the other nuns. 12/14/20
• 059. Speak the Speech, I Pray You – 10/1/1969
  • When the popular San Tanco parish priest Father Carver passes away, a new priest named Father Walter Larson (Bob Cummings) is sent to San Tanco. Because he has had most of his experience tucked away in the archives in Pittsburgh, he is extremely self-conscious about taking over a parish with a social life, and is very nervous about public speaking. His old friend Lydia – the Reverend Mother – arranges for him to give a practice speech to the other nuns. He bores them to tears by speaking in quotes in foreign tongue. Sister Bertrille is brutally honest with him, and tells him he needs to spice up his speech with a few jokes. She gets Carlos to convince his friend Danny (Gary Crosby), a Hollywood writer, to write Father Larson’s speech. He gives him a speech full of jokes, but most of them aren’t funny and especially don’t suit Father Larson. Bertrille returns to Carlos and convinces him to pack the audience so everyone will laugh at everything he says. But Father Larson ditches Danny’s speech and goes with his original, so there is a great deal of misplaced laughter during the foreign quotes. Bertrille admits what happened, and Father Larson realizes he made Bertrille lose faith in him and apologizes, planning to leave the parish. Bertrille tells him about the first time that she flew and how nervous she was, demonstrating her ability to him. Somehow this inspires him and gives him a new outlook on the challenges ahead. Soon he has settled into his new job and is calling Bingo numbers to the sisters. 4/6/21
• 060. The Paola Story – 10/8/1969
  • The convent has hired a new temporary secretary named Paola Guzman (Chelsea Brown), but the Reverend Mother plans to fire her because she is always dancing the bossa nova around the convent and taking multiple calls from men on the phone. Sister Bertrille tries to talk her out of it, but she has made up her mind. Then Paola returns to the convent with a baby named Anita in tow, claiming that the widowed mother of the baby has left her on her doorstep, and has left town to look for a job. Although Bertrille is most inclined to believe her, the other nuns all assume that Anita is hers, and they vow to keep their ears open to find out the truth. Paola seems to hate Carlos, so Bertrille goes to see him and find out why, but all Carlos can remember is that Paola used to work for him, and one day left angry at her husband Lorenzo (Carl Byrd), who now works as a painter. Bertrille finds out he is painting for Mrs. Emanuel (Naomi Stevens), so she goes to see him. Lorenzo tells her tat Paola had their marriage annulled when he was visiting casinos and gambling a lot, and he is sure that Anita must be his, but he refuses to try to convince Paola to come back to him since she has never checked on him to see that he has gotten past his troubles and now works an honorable job. Bertrille asks him to come to the convent to size up a job painting the cathedral. He and Paola meet while he is there, and he proposes to her. However while they are together, the actual mother of Anita calls and gives a message to the Reverend Mother that she is returning soon. Bertrille rushes to tell Lorenzo the truth, and when he then balks at being tricked, Paola think he was only asking her to marry again because of the baby. Bertille shows them how she can fly, and they see this as a sign that they belong together, so they agree to marry again. Later Paola confesses to Bertrille that Anita really is their baby, but she is waiting to make sure that Lorenzo wants to marry her for her, and not the baby, planning to tell him the truth about her later. 4/7/21
• 061. Marcello’s Idol – 10/15/1969
  • When the orphan Marcello refers to the nuns as ‘guys’, Sister Bertille decides that it is because he needs a father figure in his life. She rattles off some suggestions for Marcello, but his number one idol is Carlos. Bertrille goes to see him and uses reverse psychology to get Carlos to try to convince Bertrille that he is worthy to be a father figure to Marcello. However, when Bertrille finds out that Carlos has taken his girlfriend Lila (Farrah Fawcett) on his boat with him, Bertrille is furious and tells Carlos that he is finished being a father to him. Marcello had a great time and hopes that Carlos might agree to adopt him. Bertrille tells him that he would need to be married first, so Marcello tries to get Carlos to marry Lila. Carlos says she is too pretty to marry, and Marcello comes to the conclusion that there are always too many pretty women around for Carlos to ever marry. Bertrille jokingly makes a suggestion that they should take an ad out in the paper to find someone who is beautiful on the inside more so than the outside. Marcello takes the idea to a newspaper editor (Peter Mamakos), but the editor instead decides to print it as a front page story. Bertrille tries to get to Carlos before he sees the ad to apologize, but a woman named Maria (Inez Pedroza) has already came to Carlos with the article and made her plea to be his wife, with a bevy of women following close behind. Carlos tries to make his escape, but Marcello jumps in his car in order apologize. The two take off, and talk it over and decide to be friends again. Sister Bertrille flies to them and finds out they’ve made up. However she later asks Marcello why he idolizes Carlos so much, and he says it is because he is so carefree. She reminds Marcello that if he got married and adopted him, that he would no longer be the carefree man he knows. Marcello decides it would be best for Carlos if he stops being his part-time father so he can stay himself. Michael Pataki’s character of Carlos’s assistant is now going by the name Roberto. 8/2/21
• 062. Guess Who’s Coming to Picket – 10/22/1969
  • When Sister Bertrille returns Carlos’s car to him at the casino, she finds that the head waiter Enrique (Nate Esformes) has called a strike because of poor treatment, low pay, and a heavy workload. Since it the convent’s position not to take sides during a strike, she tries to remain neutral, but she is caught by a photographer helping Enrique pour himself a cup of coffee. By the time the photo hits the paper, it looks as if the convent is sympathizing with the strikers. Carlos is furious but accepts the apology of Bertrille. As she is leaving, she stops to tell Enrique what a great man Carlos is, but he hands her his sign so he can show her his ‘crippled’ hands, and naturally the photographer snaps another photo of her holding the sign. When Carlos sees the paper, he blows his top again. Because of the supposed help from the convent, Enrique comes with his fellow waiter Lucerno (Lee Chandler) to give the convent a donation… and the photographer snaps a photos of him giving the Reverend Mother a check. Back at the casino, Carlos has the coat check girls Norma (Lisa Pharren) and the cigarette girl Concha (Rita Rogers) working in the kitchen and waiting tables, and the poor service that makes the chef Fernando’s (Jeno Mate) food look bad, causes him to strike as well. The nuns then get the Reverend Mother’s permission to help in the casino’s kitchen as it is considered an act of charity, but a photo of Bertrille emptying the garbage makes it look like they are strike breakers. Finally, the Reverend Mother talks Carlos and Enrique into coming to her office to negotiate. When they still seem to be going nowhere, Bertrille flies into the sky with a fire extinguisher and spells out the word “SETTLE” causing Enrique to finally give in on some of his demands. Later, Enrique and Fernando prepare a meal for the nuns, and tells them if Carlos yells about them being away too long, they’ll just strike again… so the nuns start gulping down their food. Roberto Zalaya is a picketer. 8/2/21
• 063. The Not So Great Impostor – 10/29/1969
  • Newspaper writer Joe Barnes (Larry Storch) is fired from the Miami Clarion by his boss Mr. Reeves (John Myhers), he comes to San Tanco to write a book, but he winds up with writer’s block. However, when he sees Sister Bertrille fly by from his hotel window, he becomes determined to get a photo of her and sell back to Reeves. He goes to see Carlos, to whom he already owes money, to borrow another $100 with the promise to pay it all back the following week. It isn’t until after Carlos loans him the money that he tells him how he plans to get it. Carlos calls the convent and immediately warns them what Barnes is up to. Barnes then visits a clothing salesman (Edward Knight) to get an Priest outfit, then heads to convent and tells them that he is a priest named Father Flaherty visiting from Nigeria to write a book about the life of nuns. He cons the orphan girl Elena (Christine Matchett) into identifying Sister Bertrille as the nun who can fly. He then tries to get Bertrille to fly by putting the local cat Rudolfo up a tree and showing it to Bertrille. However she simply gets a ladder to retrieve him, and when Barnes breaks the ladder, Bertrille simply climbs down the tree. He then takes her out to fly kites, and when she gets caught in the wind and becomes airborne, he snaps photos of her in flight. Meanwhile, Carlos has talked to the salesman and has determined that Barnes has disguised himself as a priest, and he warns the Reverend Mother. When Bertrille returns from the kite flying, they tell her that Father Flaherty is an imposter. After he gets the pictures developed, Bertrille offers to pose flying for him to get some better pictures. He jumps at the chance and takes a new series of pictures. Then as soon as he leaves, Bertrille takes pictures of the other nuns pretending to fly against a blue backdrop, and sends them ahead to Reeves, warning them that Barnes will be trying to pass off photos similar to the ones that Bertrille took. When Barnes arrives with his photos, he is flatly rejected and ostracized. Barnes returns to the convent to admit he was wrong, but tells them that they have cost him his livelihood, and it will make it hard for him to take care of his wife and children. Bertrille feels bad, and volunteers to go corroborate his story with his Mr. Reeves, even though this will mean she will need to leave the convent for fear of turning it into a circus. Then Barnes feels guilty for lying about having a wife and kids, and declines her offer. Later he begins riding a novel, for which he got an advance. Bertrille wants to know what he is writing and Barnes shows her the title page: The Flying Nun. 1/31/22
• 064. A Convent Full of Miracles – 11/5/1969
  • One stormy night as the convent starts to leak and fall apart in the rain, the nuns are visited by an old man named Alonzo Baldazon (Nehemiah Persoff), whose old jalopy has broken down outside the convent. They give him refuge for the night, and although he promises to give them a donation, they can see that he clearly has no money. With all of the repairs that are needed, Sister Bertrille asks him if he’d like to stay at the convent and perform some odd jobs and repairs, and they will give him a modest fee. He is excited, and calls and tells his assistant Maurice (Miguel Landa) to tell him of his whereabouts. He tells Maurice that his new antique car had proven to be a lemon, and thinks that the convent will be a pleasant place to stay for a while. Maurice tries to convince him to return, as big business deals await him. Meanwhile, the nuns have a run of bad luck when they their stove breaks down, followed by their water heater. Maurice arranges for a new stove to arrive, supposedly sent by a former orphan of the convent who wants to repay them. Then a water heater is delivered by ‘mistake’, and when the deliveryman Rodriguez (Ernest Sarracino) says the true recipient will never accept it after it was scuffed by the moving men as they took it off the truck, he offers it to the convent for free. Many of the nuns, particularly Sister Ana and Sister Sixto, believe that Sister Bertrille is receiving miracles because she prays for these items each time before they receive them. They even bring her a list of items for her to pray for, although Bertrille insists that it is all a coincidence. They all agree that the next item they’d like to have would be a wading pool for the orphans. Just then Maurice calls them to tell that the won one. The Reverend Mother doesn’t believe these are miracles, and they deduce that Carlos must be buying the gifts for them. Carlos flatly denies this, and then Alonzo finally admits that it is he who is buying them the gifts. When they don’t believe him, the Reverend Mother calls the yacht where Maurice is waiting to inquire about Baldazon, but Maurice tells her that Baldazon is in Canada… just like Baldazon told him to. Nevertheless, she thinks that he is such a nice man that she tells the others that he truly was the one who bought the gifts. But when he leaves, she tells them the ‘truth’ that the real Baldazon was in Canada. Later Sister Bertrille flies over Baldazon’s yacht. When they see each other, they both promise to keep each other’s secrets. 2/1/22
• 065. Hector and the Brass Bed – 11/12/1969
  • The nuns gather up the remnants of a brass bed and Sisters Bertrille and Sixto attempt to sell it in town. They take it to secondhand knick-knack dealer Antonio Fuentes (Titos Vandis), whose wife Angela (Athena Lorde) has just yelled at him to get rid of his trouble-making orphan donkey Hector. Antonio uses psychology to convince the sisters that they talked him into trading the bed for the burro. The Reverend Mother is a bit annoyed with their choice but decides to give Hector a chance to use to entertain the children. He gets off to a bad start when he head butts the Reverend Mother, and it goes downhill from there as he destroys everything he touches around the convent, including Sister Jacqueline’s cornette and the teeth of the orphan Eddie. She insists that they give him back to his owner. Bertrille tracks Antonio down at Carlos’s casino where Antonio is playing poker. When Antonio won’t budge, Bertrille leaves angrily, quoting a Latin phrase that Antonio mistakes for a curse. From that moment on, Antonio’s luck goes downhill both at the game of poker, and then everything else he touches. While the nuns contemplate their next move, Antonio keeps seeing Bertrille and then having an accident, culminating with his car. Bertrille brings home a dog named Barnaby to act as a friend for Hector. When Bertrille goes flying to get some dog food, Antonio sees her as he falls over a table. He brings $125 to donate to the convent, but demands that Bertrille lift the curse. When she claims she has no idea what he is talking about, he takes the money back. Antonio goes to Carlos looking for help, and he agrees to facilitate a deal between them. He tells them to return the $200 for the brass bed he has already sold, and then tells the Reverend Mother to humor him if he mentions the curse. He brings the nuns the money, even though he tries to give them less initially, and the nuns agree that there is no curse on him. Sister Bertrille repeats the Latin phrase, which is meaningless. The nuns keep the burro at Antonio’s request, and they agree to take care of him. He later brings the nuns a blanket for Hector that his wife made. However, when he sells it to them instead of giving it to them like his wife insisted, he chokes on his tea. 6/7/22
• 066. The New Habit – 11/19/1969
  • The Reverend Mother comes back from a trip, and presents the nuns with all-new habits and cornettes. Everyone quite likes them, but when Sister Bertrille falls out of a tree while saving a kitten, she is unable to fly. After a while, she realizes that it is because of the shape of the new cornette. Sure enough when she tries on her old one, she can still fly like always. Since the new habits were an edict from the Mother General (Edith Atwater), Bertrille doesn’t think it is even worth asking to allow her to wear the old cornette. Knowing that the other sisters will be upset to lose their ‘magical’ flying nun, she decides not to tell them. However, when the sisters run out of gas in their car and try to send Bertrille to fly and get some more, she is forced to tell them that she cannot fly without her old cornette. The Mother Superior won’t go against the edict of the Mother General, but she does allow her to dress in her old habit and take one final flight. That night after he flight, the nuns cannot hold back their tears about Betrille’s loss of flight. She tells them that the Mother General is coming to see the new habits, and cautions them to cool it on the depressed attitudes and try to be upbeat with the folks in town. Betrille goes to see Carlos, and when he notices how upset she seems, she confesses that she has lost her flight. Although Carlos admits to Roberto that Betrille dropping in on him is the bane of his life, she is also the spice of his life, and suddenly feels horrible about her losing her flight. He comes up with a plan and has his costume designer girlfriend Dolores (Corinne Comacho) to come up with a costume that looks very similar to the new habits. When the Mother General arrives, the nuns try to talk up the new habits, while mentioning a few of its inconveniences. However, when she sees how similar Dolores’s costume is, and when Carlos mentions that the style will surely spread and that showgirls all over the world will be wearing it. She changes her position that it is no longer an edict, but rather a suggestion, and now she makes the edict that they return to their own habits. Sister Bertrille bundles up the new habits to sell them to the town’s dressmaker, who plans to make them look like Dolores’s dress. 6/7/22
• 067. Bertrille and the Silent Flicks – 11/26/1969
  • At the request of the Mother General Adelaide (Miriam Hopkins) he nuns are taking donations of old items for the building of a school in Culebra, but mostly what they come away with is rubbish. Among the junk is an old movie magazine called Movie Fame. Sister Bertrille beings an old clock from the rummage sale to sell to Carlos, and chats with one his workers named Leonardo (Alberto Morin) about Gloria Davenport, of whom Leonardo was a huge fan. Sister Bertrille gets the idea to get her old film Lure of the West and screen it in town with her as a guest. She runs it by the Mother General and introduces her to Leonardo, and although she doesn’t think there will be a lot of interest, she agrees to do it. Sister Bertrille writes to the Museum of Modern Art in New York, and gets a copy of the film. She and the other nuns have a private screening for themselves, and although the film is supposed to be an endearing love story, they find the silent film melodramatic acting to be hilarious. They become fearful that showing the film will be embarrassing to her and hurt her feelings, so the decide to scrap the idea. However, Leonard has rented out the theater and sold out the theater, generating $1200 for the school. Bertrille tries to think of a way to keep the Mother General to not attend the screening. The problem solves itself when a building contractor in Culebra offers to donate his services to build the school, and wants her to meet with him on the day of the screening, which will cause her to miss it. The film screening goes on as planned, and as expected, it generates howls of laughter from the audience. An old man (Julian Rivero) who is a friend of Leonardo, comes to see Bertrille to tell her that Leonardo has arranged a private plane to pick up the Mother General to bring her back for the end of the film. Bertrille then flies to the air field to try and stop Leonardo from picking her up and bringing her back by explaining how the audience is laughing at the movie. However, when the battery on the car dies, the Mother General fixes it. When Bertrille tells Leonard to drive slowly so that nothing will happen to the Mother General, she offers to drive. They arrive at the theater before the movie ends, and the Mother General is shocked to hear the laughter. However when she sees the overacting, she starts to laugh herself. The movie is so popular and campy that the theater holds it over for an additional screening. Bertrille gets the idea to screen another film called High in the Saddle, which stars Bishop Donovan as the bad guy, to raise money for school equipment. Hal Taggert is the tourist who scoffs at the city for showing a silent film. 10/1/22
• 068. A Ticket for Bertrille – 12/10/1969
  • Sister Bertrille goes shopping in the station wagon with Marcello, and gets pulled over by Officer Juarez  (Gregory Sierra) for speeding. However when he realizes it is Sister Bertrille, he lets her off with a warning. Then she later sees him plugging the parking meter where she has parked since it expired. Marcello says when he grows up he wants to be a priest so he doesn’t have to obey the law. So when she sees Juarez moving Bertrille’s car when she parks in front of the fire hydrant in front of Carlos’s casino. Bertrille tells the officer that she wants him to give her a ticket for Marcello’s benefit. Carlos then catches him in the act, and comes out in a fury because his casino was just robbed of $5000 and the first cop he sees is giving a ticket to a nun. This causes nearly the entire town to react in anger. Carlos’s fiancé Dolores (Marcedes Alberti) declines his marriage proposal because of it. Juarez’s uncle Salvador Calderon (Julio Medina), the Mayor of San Juan, visits the convent to tell them how much bad publicity this is getting his re-election campaign. People from all over town are sending the convent money to help Bertrille pay the ticket. When Sister Bertrille goes to court, Carlos tells her that he heard that the Judge (Lew Palter) will end the case in two minutes, knowing that he will be washed up if he convicts her. The Judge offers extenuating circumstance since the red paint by the fire hydrant is nearly gone. She doesn’t want to corrupt Marcello. He tries to suspend her sentence, and then tries to pay the fine for her, but she won’t have it. Since she doesn’t have the money to pay it, she has to accept two days of jail time. This further angers everyone and gets the attention of the media and a reporter (Victor Campos). Bertrille winds up sharing her cell with a girl named Rosita (Lisa Gaye), who doesn’t believe Bertrille is a nun, but rather an undercover agent who is trying get information about the robbery at the casino, since the police her boyfriend committed the crime. However when they take a walk outside in the prison yard, Bertrille is caught by a wind and carried away. Everyone thinks that Bertrille has purposely escaped, and she gains the respect of Rosita. She tells Bertrille she wants to be free of the crime and wants to turn in the money because her boyfriend told her where it was: the bottom of a well in an old ranch. Bertrille asks a guard to let her back into the courtyard and manages to make her escape again.  This time she brings Juarez with her, and he is able to find the money in the well. They turn the story over to the reporter, who pieces together a story that Bertrille got the tickets and did the jail time on purposely in order to help recover the money. Officer Juarez and the Mayor also come out smelling like roses, and the convent is invited to Juarez’s wedding. Rosita gets a pardon and find a new boyfriend. Joseph Bernard is the warden. 10/1/22
• 069. The New Carlos – 12/17/1969
  • Sister Bertrille comes to see Carlos and thanks him for loaning her his Rolls Royce, but then apologizes that she accidentally dumped a load of wet cement on it. All the while she tells him this, she is adding weight to his wall resistance weights, which puts him in traction. Meanwhile, the nuns have developed a group called the San Tanco Dads, who volunteer time to spend with the orphans. Bertrille wants to include Carlos, but the Reverend Mother thinks that Bertrille has taken advantage of him enough. When Carlos gets out of the hospital, he tells Roberto that he is done with Bertrille and is going to give her a speech about how she is a good person and is well meaning, but he is through. Later, as Carlos is taking his girlfriend Diane (Tanya Lemani) to the airport for a trip, Bertrille is there as well, meeting her vacationing cousin Regina Atwater (Sandra Smith) from Boston. Carlos tries to give Bertrille the speech, but then he notices the attractive Regina. When Carlos later calls for Roberto, he finds out that Roberto has been at a baseball game with the San Tanco Dads. When Carlos finds out that Regina was at the game, along with most of Carlos’s employees, he suddenly becomes offended that he wasn’t asked to participate. He later runs into Bertrille in town, and Bertrille give Carlos an STD button. She nearly asks Carlos to join as well, but Sister Jacqueline stops her. Carlos then believes that Bertrille and the nuns no longer like him. He wants to change himself so that he could date someone like Regina and that the nuns will be proud of him. The nuns later see that Carlos has become the president of the Chamber of Commerce, and begins giving speeches about the joys of philanthropy. He manages to get some dates with Regina, and soon they are attending wholesome social events and particpating in bird watching. Bertrille and the nuns think it is all admirable, though Bertrille admits that he is now less fun. Carlos calls Bertrille to get her permission to ask Regina to marry him. When Regina shows up to see Carlos and say goodbye to him before heading to Rio, he asks for her hand, but she declines. She tells Bertrille not to worry, and that he won’t likely kill himself. Bertrille then becomes concerns, and when Roberto tells her that he went to the beach, she goes flying to try and track him down. When she finds him, he tells her that he only came there to think. He has also reunited with Diane. Bertrille explains to him why she didn’t ask him to joins the San Tanco Dads, and when she finally does ask him, he is more than happy to accept. 1/25/23
• 070. Dear Aggie – 12/31/1969
  • Bertrille and the nuns go looking for their missing cat Delfina, and when they find her, she has delivered a litter of kittens. Bertrille heads to the San Tanco Tribune to place an ad for the kittens. While there she runs into Sportswriter Rickie Malinas (Henry Corden), who now handles the Dear Aggie advice column. He asks Bertrille to help him come up with an answer for a man who got drunk and proposed to three women and is scared to tell his wife. She comes up with an answer, and it proves to be the only answer without controversy that Malinas gives that day. As a result, he asks Bertrille to take over the column and agrees to take and place the kittens in new homes. Bertrille and the nuns collaborate on some of the answers in the column. One letter comes from a woman named Margarita Pedrosa (Anita Rich) who questions whether she should accept a bracelet from a man she just started dating. Bertrille tells her to return it to the man until they know each other better. It turns out that Margarita’s boyfriend is Carlos’s employee Roberto. He goes to Carlos for advice of his own, and Carlos suggests that the bracelet was too cheap and that he should take her for an evening on Carlos’s yacht. Margarita then sends Bertrille an update on her yacht date, and then asks what she should take along on the yacht. Bertrille then goes to Carlos to get the answer, and he suggests some items… and also advises her to take along her mother on the yacht to make sure the date doesn’t get too fresh. Roberto later tells Carlos that Margarita brought along her mother. Despite being the one who gave the advice, Carlos is outraged at the notion of her brining her mother. He goes to the newspaper to yell at the Dear Aggie write, only to learn that the writer is Bertrille. Carlos then goes to see Bertrille to try and fix the issue. The Reverend Mother hears all of this and tells Bertrille that she needs to quit the column. Bertrille then gives Margarita advice to trust Roberto so she invites him to dinner at her place. Carlos thinks Roberto will have more interference from her mother, so he suggests that Roberto invite her to have dinner at his house, and then offers to let him use his house. When Margarita writes to thank ‘Aggie’, she mentions the dinner and that it will be on Regency Road. Bertrille knows Carlos lives on Regency, so she thinks that Margarita is actually dating Carlos. She feels guilty about sending her to such a wolf, so she shows up at the house to meet with her. She shows up with her brother Luis (Jack Donner), who wants to scope out Roberto. Bertrille intercepts Margarita and tells her that her date is a playboy. When Margarita goes inside, she accuses Roberto of being a playboy, which Carlos overhears. When Luis hears Carlos yelling, he thinks he is yelling at Margarita and punches him out. Margarita and Roberto make up, and Carlos returns to his furious self who tells Bertrille to get out of his life forever. Bertrille is just glad he is back to normal. 1/25/23
• 071. My Sister, the Doctor – 1/70/1970
  • As the nuns at the Convent San Tanco are getting ready for the Bishop’s (Edward Colmans) retirement party, and when Sister Bertrille takes a flight to a store to get some streamers, but when the Reverend Mother calls to her to tell her that her sister Jennifer has arrived in town for a visit, she gets distracted, hits a tree, and injures herself. While she is in the hospital, Jennifer comes by to tend to her, but she is meant to be in town for some rest and relaxation. Carlos stops by as well, and informs Jennifer that there is a medical convention in town. They talk Jennifer into keeping her job as a doctor secret, thinking she will never get any rest if everyone in town wants to talk shop with her. Carlos, still having a crush on her, invites her to stay in his home, but Bertrille talks her into staying at the convent. Upon arrival, many of the nuns share their medical issues which keeps her busy right off the bat. Bertrille makes Jennifer promise that she won’t tell any of the partygoers that she is a doctor, fearing they will all keep her busy with more medical problems or questions. All of the nuns and Carlos back her up to keep her secret. When Mayor Salvador Calderon (now played by Rodolfo Hoyos Jr.) asks what she does for a living, Carolos tells him that she is into ceramics, which doesn’t work out well because the Mayor is a pottery expert. The Countess Avecchi (Nancy Malone) also approaches Carol and Jennifer, and he tells her that Jennifer is a bookkeeper. Naturally, the Countess finds it exciting and wants to talk about it. The other nuns rescue her, but then have their biggest challenge: to keep the bishop from finding out what she does. When Jennifer tells him that she works with her hands, the bishop assumes she is a pianist and later in the evening asks her to play. She is saved from playing at the last minute when another guest named Louisa (Annette Cardona aka Annette Charles) goes into labor, and Jennifer is forced to deliver triplets. After the party, Jennifer is formally prescribed three weeks of rest and relaxation in the hospital next to her sister. Bertrille tells everyone who questions her name being listed as Dr. Jennifer Ethrington that she is a veterinarian. Right away the nurse (Penny Santon) on duty starts asking for advice about her dog. Pepe Hern is Roul, husband of Louisa. 7/8/23
• 072. Armando and the Pool Table – 1/23/1970
  • The nuns are playing Bridge when they notice how worn out their deck of cards is, so Sister Bertrille goes to see Carlos to ask for a new deck of cards. While she is there, Carlos offers the convent an old pool table that he is trying to get rid of. Meanwhile, the Reverend Mother disciplining the orphan Armando for jumping off the rooftops by assigning him to sweep up the cellar. Bertrille then asks the Reverend Mother if the pool table might be suitable recreation to distract Armando from his mischief. The Reverend Mother reluctant agrees to give the table a try if they store it in the cellar. Initially they have a difficult time getting Armando interested in the game, but when a man named Emilio Gomez (John Hoyt) stops by to see the pool table that he once played on when it was owned by his friend Senior Corso. He gives a demonstration of his playing, which piques Armando’s interest when he sees that money can be made by being a pool shark. Gomez agrees to train Armando how to play, but soon his grades begin to suffer because of his focus on the game. When the Reverend learns this, she demands that they get rid of the pool table. Bertrille asks if she can use a couple of days to make him lose interest in it before they get rid of it. Bertrille discusses this situation with Gomez, who claims to be the best player in San Tanco, but he says he is retired from playing for competition. Gomez claims that Carlos is the second-best player in San Tancos, so Bertrille head to San Ramos where Carlos claims to be on a ‘business trip’, where he finds him with his blonde secretary named Natalie Preem (Farrah Fawcett). Bertrille talks him into following her plan and back to San Tanco to use his pool shark skills to redeem Armando. They bet small stakes on a few games and Armando wins the first several games, but then Carolos wins the next 50 or so. Bertrille asks for a rematch, but Carlos and his assistant Hernandez (Fred Sadoff) bet $2000 against the convents golden candlesticks. Armando is petrified about losing the game and costing the convent the candlesticks. When the Reverend Mother returns and catches Bertrille with the candle sticks, she goes down to the cellar and stops the game. Armando is relieved and tells everyone he never wants to play pool again. Armando announces that he no longer wants to be a pool player, but would rather be a gambler like Carlos. 7/8/23
• 073. Hello Columbus – 1/30/1970
  • Sister Bertrille organizes a pageant to recreate the discovery of Puerto Rico by Christopher Columbus in 1493, but her leading man Manuel is stricken with the mumps, and she is having trouble finding someone to replace him before the show opens in two weeks. Meanwhile, Carlos is having trouble with his identical cousin Luis insists on coming back to work for Carlos at the casino when the dry good store he was managing went bankrupt. Luis is slowly driving the entire kitchen staff crazy. When Sister Bertrille comes to see Carlos to give him tickets to the pageant, and she mentions her search for a leading man, Carlos sends Luis to take on the roll. Luis is reluctant, but when he finds out that local celebrities like the governor and the mayor will be there to see it, he decides to take on the part. However, when he tries on the costume that was made for one of the kids, he insists that he must have a costume that fits or else he will leave the play. Carlos agrees to buy a new uniform for him, and then agrees to supply new costumes for the entire play. After he returns to the play, he finds out that his love interest Isabella is played by the little girl Tina Gonzales (Gianna Talone), he feels he will look ridiculous without a full-grown actress. Carlos then pulls out his little black book, but before he can even use it, he decides to send Marta Vargas (Toian Matchinga), the temporary bookkeeper. She is perfect for the role, but apparently too perfect for Luis. He falls head over heels in love with her immediately and is so lovesick that he can’t remember any of his lines. In fact, he can’t even stand to be around her because he is too shy to romance her… and again returns to work at the casino. Carlos doesn’t want to get in the middle, but when it means that Luis may return to the casino, he agrees to talk to Marta on Luis’s behalf. Unfortunately, she thinks that it is Carlos who is in love with her, so she throws herself at him. Luis walks in and sees Marta kissing Carlos, so he retreats to the sea in Carlos’s boat. Sister Bertrille flies out to the boat to talk to Luis and tells him that Carlos was only trying to tell her that Luis was in love with her. Luis considers himself a failure in law, but Bertrille tells him how many artists toiled in love but still went on with their craft. She says everyone is counting on him for the pageant and motivates him by telling him that he owes it to Columbus. Luis gets a great review in the newspapers for his role as Columbus. Luis tells Carlos that he can’t go back to working in the casino’s kitchen, which thrills Carlos… until he tells him that he wants to work as the entertainment as the master of ceremonies at the casino. Jimmy Brown is Pepi. Tony Nassour is Arnaldo. Caesar Ramirez is Sanchez. 11/4/23
• 074. The Dumbest Kid in School – 2/6/1970
  • The sisters of San Tanco have one orphan who gives them more trouble than any other, a boy named Joey (Eric Shea), who likes to play jokes including putting a “Just Married” sign on the back of the Bishop’s (Vincent Perry) car. Meanwhile, a former orphan named Mr. Sanders (Robert Sanders), who once lived at the Convent San Tanco and has since become a successful stockbroker, comes to the school to pay back the kindness shown to him. Since he considered himself the dumbest, most troubled kid as an orphan, he would like to adopt the dumbest kid in San Tanco. Although the Reverend Mother doesn’t care for that term, she considers Joey to be an underachiever, but she insists that Sanders take Joey on a picnic to get to know him first. Joey is nervous about the meeting, as he knows that most potential parents don’t get much further than looking at his record before deciding they don’t want him. As Sanders is leaving the convent, Joey decides to go on a joy ride in the convent’s car. Joey goes to speak to Carlos to try and get some advice on how to make Sanders like him, even with his poor record. Carlos teaches him how to be polite and conscientious, as well as learning a bit about the stock  to show how much he knows about it. Sanders is surprised when Joey is well-mannered when it comes to not trespassing through a field to get to the lake quicker, not swimming after lunch, not skinny dipping, and making sure to say grace before he eats his lunch. Sanders comes to the conclusion that Joey will be successful without his help and that he doesn’t need him. The Reverend Mother calls Camarketrlos to see what advice he had given him, and then insists that Sanders give him another chance. This time she tells Joey to make sure he acts like himself and just be a rambunctious boy, telling Joey that this is the type of sons that fathers like to come home to. Sanders makes the mistake of telling Joey that he wanted a boy just like himself, and then mentions that he was the dumbest boy in school. Joey is hugely offended by this, and vows never to talk to Sanders or the Reverend Mother again. Sanders and the nuns all try and apologize to him, but he won’t have it. Eventually he tells Sanders that he is going to work to be the smartest boy in school, and if he still wants him after that, he can adopt him. Weeks later, Joey sends Sanders a letter and and has Sister Jacqueline check it for mistakes. It tells how he has brought his grades up but is not yet the smartest boy in school. However, there are nineteen kids dumber than him, so he can now adopt him if he wants. When the nuns tell him how casual he is being, he tells them it is no longer that important to be adopted since he is no longer the dumbest kid in school. NOTE: Sally Field does not appear in this episode. 11/6/23
• 075. Man’s Best Friend Isn’t – 2/13/1970
  • After a leaky sink disaster in the convent, the nuns bring in plumber Felix Arusa (Gino Conforti). When Felix laments about not getting much work in San Tanco, Sister Bertrille recommends that he do some work at the casino and introduces him to Carlos. Felix offers to re-do the plumbing at the casino for $605. On his first day of work, Felix tells Carlos that there is a big issue because the pipes at the casino are European pipes and not standard. Felix says it will take him two or three days to find the correct parts. Felix insists that Carlos watch his dog Tiger while he is out looking for parts. Carlos then takes the dog to Sister Bertrille to watch, and although she declines the offer, the Reverend Mother persuades Bertrille to watch him. Bertrille agrees to watch Tiger but tells the other nuns that she has a lot of charisma with dogs, and sometimes the dogs she watches do not want to return to their owners. Sure enough, she spends a lot of time with Tiger and they become attached to each other. When Felix returns from his trip, Tiger doesn’t want to go with him. Felix takes Tiger anyway, but it runs away back to the convent, distracting Felix even more from doing his job, which is frustrating Carlos. When Felix finds Tiger at the convent, he decides that Sister Bertrille should keep him. He tells her that Tiger is only afraid of one thing but won’t tell her what it is. Losing the dog distracts Felix from his work and he accidentally hooks the pipes into the electricity. Bertrille decides she needs to start discipling the dog so he will be more apt to return to Felix. This doesn’t seem to faze Tiger, but when the dog acts scared around birds, Bertrille shows the dog how she can fly, which frightens him. As Carlo is having a meltdown about the plumbing, Sister Bertrille shows up to see if Tiger has made his way to Felix. Now scared of Bertrille, he finally shows up and jumps into the arms of Felix, who suggests that he must be afraid of the birds at the convent. Felix returns to work on the pipes and accidentally breaks one, causing water to spray everywhere. Sister Bertrille vows to never help another animal, but Felix brings one of Tiger’s relative dogs to give to Bertrille. Despite Bertrille’s objection, the Reverend Mother insists that she keep the dog. Felix reports that the casino work was finished and he now has many more customers. 3/11/24
• 076. The Somnaviatrix – 2/20/1970
  • Sister Bertrille puzzles herself and the other nuns when she oversleeps and then wakes up with a bunch of lilies atop her. It turns out that Bertrille has been sleep-flying at night and hasn’t realized it herself. Meanwhile, Carlos has taken Sofia (Cynthia Hull) out, and is now in a panicked mode as his car is stuck in the morning and it is now 3:30am in the morning. Sofia is the daughter of a very prominent business associate of Carlos’s named Señor Antonio Novello (Joe De Santis), who can crush Carlos financially if he thinks that Carlos has dishonored him. Furthermore, Sofia is engaged to be married to Paco (Frank Ramirez), who will also be furious about Sofia being out with another man. During one of her sleep flights, Sister Bertrille lands by Carlos and Maria while they are stuck, but then leaves just as quickly as she had arrived. Once Señor finds out about Sofia being out all night, sure enough he explodes on Carlos and threatens to destroy him. Even worse, Paco slaps Carlos in the face, and also holds Novello responsible for sending his daughter out with a known wolf like Carlos, who desperately tries to explain his innocence. Carlos then remembers that Sister Bertrille saw him and could vouch for him getting his car stuck in the mud. However, when he asks her about it, she had no memory of it, and thus refuses to ‘lie’ about it. Carlos becomes furious and tells her that he never wants to see her again. The Reverend Mother and Sister Jacqueline overhear this and are surprised that Carlos wanted her to lie but gives him the benefit of the doubt since they know he is a good and generous man. Then it becomes clear to the nuns that she is sleep-flying when they see her take off that night. Once they tell her, they all realize that she really could have seen them in the mud, but just not remembered it. Bertrille tells Carlos right away, and then she tries to convince Señor Novello without giving away her secret. When he simply won’t believe her, she decides to show him that she can fly, but can’t get a strong enough wind to pick her up. Bertrille then asks Paco to meet with her so she can explain it to him. She is able to go airborne with him, and then he believes her. Señor Novello tries to report Sister Bertrille to the convent, but the Reverend Mother brings him to see Sister Bertrille flying. He misses seeing it, but it doesn’t matter since Paco now believes Bertrille and wants to reconcile with Sofia. He also encourages Novello to forgive and forget with Carlos. Señor Novello tells Bertrille that he will pray for her and for her ‘imagination’. For a while afterward, the sisters take turn watching over Bertrille at night to keep her from flying. When she nearly gets out and requires Sister Jacqueline to pull her from the sky, the Reverend Mother simply forbids her from flying at night, and this does the trick. Gregory Sierra is Carlos’s assistant Raoul. 3/14/24
• 077. Papa Carlos – 2/27/1970
  • When Sister Bertrille goes to see Carlos to see if he can help out by replacing the volleyball that the convent’s dog flattened, he bribes her by asking her to pick up his war orphan foster child from Korea at the airport. She agrees, so the nuns go looking for a little girl named Kim Ching (Miko Mayama) but find that Kim is actually an attractive grown woman who is looking for a husband. Carlos is shocked to meet Kim and asks the nuns if they will allow Kim to stay with them for a while. Upon arrival at the convent, Kim is immediately scoped out by their gardener Ramon Diaz (George Bryson), who takes an instant liking to her. Kim says she will go out with him if Carlos gives his permission, but when Carlos hears this, he thinks that Ramon, who used to work for him, is too much of a ladies’ man. Several other local men ask Kim out for a date, but Carlos refuses all of them. He also asks Sister Bertrille and the nuns to teach Kim the ways of the western world. Kim assumes that Carlos doesn’t want her to date anyone else is because he wants her for himself. Carlos arranges to have dinner with her and tells him that he isn’t the marrying kind, so she interprets this that Carlos wants her to behave like a daughter and take care of him for the rest of her life. Meanwhile, Ramon is furious that he was refused a date with her, and now she is going to live with Carlos. When Carlos realizes that Kim is trying to take care of him, she tries to tell her again that he wants his independence, just as Ramon barges in and tries to give Carlos a piece of his mind. When Carlos hears how much Ramon really cares about Kim, he tries to tell Ramon that he can have a date after all… but he has to wait for a break in Ramon yelling at him. Eventually, he is able to communicate his approval, and Carlos and Kim go out together. While Carlos is waiting for him to bring her home one night, they show up and announce that they have eloped and are now married. Bertrille is quick to point out all of the things that Carlos as a father will need to provide for the couple. 8/4/24
• 078. The Candid Commercial – 3/6/1970
  • With the washing machine at the Convent San Tanco on the fritz, Sister Bertrille goes to Carlos to ask for his help yet again. This time, he gives Bertrille a quarter and tells her to use the new laundromat on town. Meanwhile, the laundromat is being run by a man named Harry Madison (Pat Harrington Jr.), who along with cameraman Eddie (David Frank), is filming customers talking a natural way about their laundry detergent Delight, and then hoping to use it in a TV commercial. Sister Bertrille comes along with her box of Delight and engage in a conversation with Harry about how she finds it superior to Rubadubdub detergent, and then showing off her laundry once it is completed. Once they get all the footage, Harry reveals that she has been filmed for the commercial and offers a free new washing machine and year’s supply of Delight. Bertrille is thrilled and rushes back to the convent to tell the Reverend Mother and Sister Jacqueline the great news. Unfortunately, the Reverend Mother tells her that as part of the church, they cannot appear to endorse products in a TV commercial in this fashion. She orders Bertrille to tells Madison that she cannot be in the commercial. When she confronts Madison, he tells her that the commercial cannot be stopped at this point, as it has been printed and edited and is ready to air. Sister Bertrille is crestfallen that he refused her and goes to see Carlos to ask if he can help her. Although he says he cannot, he does notice an ad in the paper about the FBI and the mafia looking to find a go-go dancer for a pending case. Carlos then invites Madison to come have a drink with him so that he can give him some ideas about his film career, and then calls the Reverend Mother and asks her to send Bertrille over just after Madison’s arrival to pick up some clothes he plans to donate. When Bertrille arrives, he speaks to her in earshot of Madison and gets her to say things that allude to the fact that she can fly, and also insinuates that she may be the go-go dancer that the mafia is looking to rub out. When Madison hears all of this, he decides to pull the plug on the commercial so as not to stir up controversy or expose Bertrille’s ‘hiding place’ in the convent. Carlos tells Bertrille the good news, and she immediately goes to tell the Reverend Mother the good news… only to find that the Bishop (Ivor Francis) is speaking the Reverend Mother and telling her that it is okay if Bertrille appears in the commercial. Bertrille goes to see Madison to plead with him to air the commercial and keep the original deal, but Madison is too concerned about the fallout and refuses. However, when he realizes that all she really wants in the new washing machine, he offers to still give her that and the supply of Delight. Later, Sister Sixto tries to spontaneously frequent the laundromat in hopes of getting selected for the commercial, but Madison pleads with the nuns to let him try and find another party. He offers them a free dryer if they will go away and let him do his job. Joyce Peralta is the lady who walks past Madison and Bertrille. 8/5/24

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