The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by James L. Brooks and Allan Burns

Theme song: “Love Is All Around” written and performed by Sonny Curtis. 

• 001. Love Is All Around – 9/19/1970
  • 30-year old Mary Richards (Mary Tyler Moore) moves from her hometown of Roseburg, Minnesota to Minneapolis after breaking it off with her fiancé who has not moved forward with getting married after two years together. She moves into a studio apartment on the third floor of a house owned by her friend Phyllis Lindstrom (Cloris Leachman), who lives below her with her husband Lars and daughter Bess (Lisa Gerritsen). Her upstairs neighborhood Rhoda Morgenstern (Valerie Harper) at first clashes with Mary because she wants this apartment, even hiring a locksmith (Dave Morick), to change Mary’s locks, but they eventually become friends. Mary applies for a job as secretary in the newsroom of WJM, but the irascible producer Lou Grant (Ed Asner) hires her to be the executive producer, a role in which she doesn’t know what to do at first. Her fellow associates are head writer Murray Slaughter (Gavin MacLeod) and buffoonish anchorman Ted Baxter (Ted Knight). Mary receives a visit from a drunk Lou and assumes that he is making a pass at her, but actually only wants her help to type a letter to his wife, who has gone out of town and he misses. Mary also accepts a date with her ex-fiance Bill (Angus Duncan), but it goes nowhere since it becomes obvious that he still has no desire to marry Mary. 3/24/17

• 002. Today I Am a Ma’am – 9/26/1970
  • Mary starts feeling depressed when she realizes that she has moved into an older demographic as Lou tries to figure out why their ratings aren’t improving, exacerbated by a young messenger (David Hayward) calling her ‘ma’am.’ Rhoda and Phyllis are able to convince Mary to double date with Rhoda, threatening to have Mary help with Bess’s slumber party if Mary doesn’t go along with the date. Mary agrees to see ex-boyfriend Howard Arnell (Richard Schaal), and Rhoda chooses a man named Armond Lynton (Jack De Mave) with who she had a car accident… then realizes that Armond is married to Nancy (Sheilah Wells) and is forces to invite her on the ‘date’ as well. Mary remembers immediately how over-bearing Howard is when she calls him, and lives to regret the date during an uncomfortable date with her and the Lynton couple… all of whom are expecting dinner, which Mary has not prepared. Howard has to beg off asking Mary out any longer, erroneously thinking that she wants marriage. 3/25/17
• 003. Bess, You Is My Daughter Now – 10/3/1970
  • Phyllis asks Mary to babysit her daughter Bess when Lars comes down with a case of chicken pox. Mary reluctantly agrees, and Phyllis gives her advice on parenting which she has taken directly from parenting books. Bess shows up in Phyllis’s wig and make-up, and Phyllis doesn’t try to discipline. Mary tries to get her to remove it, which initially causes Bess to rebel. However when Mary takes Bess shopping and they have a great day together, Bess decides she wants to live with Mary. Phyllis’s methods won’t allow her to force Bess to come back, so Mary is forced to take Bess to work with her. Phyllis is clearly distraught by Bess leaving her, and eventually Bess sees her mother crying and storms out, eventually returning home because she knows her mother needs her. Meanwhile the team works with Ted on his mispronunciations on his newscasts. Rhoda gets fined for feeding a buffalo at the zoo. 6/6/17
• 004. Divorce Isn’t Everything – 10/10/1970
  • Rhoda talks Mary into joining the Better Luck Next Time social club for divorcees, at first to meet men and then for their special offer on charter flights to Paris. Mary reluctantly goes along and they meet the many strange members including the club’s president and stickler for the rules, dentist Dr. Roger Udall (Shelly Berman), his brother Richie (Vernon Weddle), wannabe ladies man Roy (Gino Conforti), Hal (Dave Ketchum), who asks every woman to leave with him, the bubbly Sparkie (Pat Finley), and Karen Norris (Jane Connell). Mary feels uncomfortable lying about being a divorcee, but manages to give a great speech about her phony background… and ends up getting elected Vice President of the club. She goes and sees Dr. Udall at his office and confessing that she’s not married. Udall is particularly irritated because she beat out his brother as VP, but comes up with a cover story to say that she has reconciled with her husband. When the members question her, she admits the truth that she was never married. This leads to other confessions from singles, and it turns out that only Roger, Richie, and Karen were actually married. Hal and Sparkie hook up briefly, but break up before they leave when they can’t decide which car to take. Meanwhile Ted answers questions from his fan club. 1/28/18
• 005. Keep Your Guard Up – 10/17/1970
  • Frank Carelli (John Schuck), an old acquaintance of Lou who played a few seasons of second-string pro football, and after being traded around a few times, was fired and now sells insurance. No one is interested, but Mary takes pity on him and invites him over to make his pitch. Frank is more interested in getting Mary to be an advocate him so that he can get a sportscasting job at the station. Mary feels terrible when she hears from his audio biography how much bad luck he’s had, and then even worse when it becomes obvious that Frank is going to lose the job to former player Timothy Brown (himself). Mary and Rhoda finally are able to convince him to stop trying to uses his ‘contacts’ and get into some other field for which he’s more suited. Frank decides to scrape together his money and move to Florida. Weeks later Mary hears from Frank that he’s happily found a job working as a playground director. 6/7/17
• 006. Support Your Local Mother – 10/24/1970
  • Mary finds Rhoda’s mother Ida (Nancy Walker) sitting on her doorstep and invites her in, not realizing that Rhoda has refused to see her. Rhoda tells Mary that her mother drives her crazy by bringing her gifts from New York, when Rhoda sends her money to help support her, plus she always tries to make Rhoda feel guilty, and refuses to take her medication. Mary invites her to stay at her apartment, and Ida tries to force money on her. Three days later she is still there and driving Mary crazy, pulling the same guilt trips on her. Mary’s work beings to suffer, and nearly has a meltdown when she calls home to have Ida bring an insignia for Ted and finds that she’s not home. Mr. Grant lectures her and tells her that her work’s been rotten and that life is tough. When she returns home, she finds Ida there where she has been counting the number of rings of the calls she missed. Ida advises Mary to kick her out back to New York, and makes her promise to write. Mary stops by Rhoda’s work of window dressing with Ida so she can see her before she leaves. They go back to Mary’s and Rhoda opens the expensive fur coat that her mother brought her. Ida tells her that she doesn’t need money from Rhoda and that she has been saving what she sent since she and Rhoda’s father are doing quite well. 1/28/18
• 007. Toulouse-Lautrec Is One of My Favorite Artists – 10/31/1971
  • With Ted out sick, Mary sits in as substitute to interview author of the book Are Men Obsolete?, Eric Matthews (Hamilton Camp), on the talk show Scrutiny, with plans to splice her out and edit Ted into the interview. Mary accepts a dinner date with Eric, only to discover when they stand up that he is four inches shorter than her. When he comes back to Mary’s apartment, Mary can’t help but accidentally mention everything possible relating to his stature. When he runs out for cigarettes, Rhoda stops by and Mary is forced to confess why she doesn’t want her to meet him, and then when he returns she introduces him as “Eric Shrimp,” and ultimately that she is a height bigot. Nevertheless she continues to date him, and when he comes over to cook her dinner, he catches on that she is uncomfortable with his height. He presents her with a manuscript called Toulouse-Lautrec Is One of My Favorite Artists after a comment that she made to him. Mary adores the book which is all about dealing with being short, and other flaws that everyone deals with. Mary has a hard time relating because everything went perfectly for her in high school. Meanwhile Murray sits in for Ted wearing a toupee, with tepid reviews from Lou and the audience. Robert Rothwell is Tom the floor manager. 10/2/18
• 008. The Snow Must Go On – 11/7/1970
  • During the middle of a massive snowstorm, Mr. Grant decides to put Mary in charge of the newsroom for local election coverage for the evening. She is reluctant as she fears she has no authority. He first assignment of the night is to tell the news cast and crew that they can only take 30 minutes for dinner to make sure they can get back in time through the snow. Mary makes a trip home and talks Rhoda into running the ticker board. All seems to be running smoothly with the Mayor’s initial results of Turner 85, Mitchell 23… until the phone lines go out knocking out the Teletype. Ted is stuck on the air for hours with no results coming in. Lou decides to take the mobile truck out to go gather information on the votes. With Ted floundering on the air, and Mary panicking as the person in charge, Mary brings in a priest Father Flint (Ivor Francis) to chat with Ted on the air. Shortly after they run out of things to talk about, Ted finds out that Channel 3 has declared Turner as the winner, but Mary forbids him to announce it on air since it is not official, going so far as threatening to fire him. When Ted gets on the air, he refrains from making the announcement. She feels confident momentarily until both Tom and Rhoda dismiss her. A thoroughly exhausted Ted interviews Rhoda for the remainder of the night. The next morning Chuckles the Clown (Richard Schaal) shows up for work and tells Mary that Turner had conceded, and Mitchell is in fact the winner. With Ted exhausted, Mary allows Chuckles to make the announcement…just as Lou returns thinking that Ted is wearing the clown suit. Mimi Kirk is the phone girl. 10/2/18
• 009. Bob and Rhoda and Teddy and Mary – 11/14/1970
  • Mr. Grant ordered Mary to fill out the application for the Teddy Awards for news broadcasting. She nominates Ted, Murray, and at Lou’s insistence, her own show Sunday Afternoon News Conference. She comes home to the announcement that Rhoda has a new boyfriend named Bob Peterson (Greg Mullavey) who she thinks might be the one. Rhoda brings him over at 2 in the morning to meet her, and despite waking her up in the middle of the night, it becomes obvious that Bob has a crush on her. He insists on inviting Mary to go to the basketball game the next night. A couple of weeks later Mary finds out that everyone she nominated has received nominations… and also reveals to Murray that for the past two weeks, Mary has been joining them on their dates and fears that Bob wants to date her. Soon enough Bob confirms this and breaks up with Rhoda, but she still agrees to go to the Television Editors Awards ceremony with Mary. Neither Mary nor Ted win the awards, and Rhoda seems to take delight in the fact that Mary mis-hears that winner and stands up to accept the award. Mary and Rhoda have it out, and Rhoda admits that she was amused by the situation. Mary is happy because she admits that she resents that Rhoda makes more money than her. They end up both airing their grievances, but Mary stops short of admitting that she was happy that Bob liked her better. Mr. Grant buys everyone a ‘Tinker’ Award to lift their morale after the losses. Henry Corden is Mr. Hartunian, the man at the awards waiting for the Armenian wedding that will follow the awards ceremony in the room. Dick Patterson in the M.C. 7/8/19
• 010. Assistant Wanted, Female – 11/21/1970
  • When the networks extend the newscast to an hour, it means more work for everyone, and Mary doesn’t feel she can get her work completed. Lou gives her permission to hire an assistant. With Phyllis freshly out of work for treating dermatology patients that weren’t hers, she guilt trips Mary into hiring her for the job. Immediately Phyllis is late and smarts off to Lou, who wants to fire her off the bat. Mary gives her a chance to make good, but after she flatters Ted and gets dragged away from her work by him, she lays down the law about the fact that she is her assistance and needs to actually help her with her work. It doesn’t do much good, and worse yet, Phyllis convinces Ted to start making demands on Lou to get a raise and get some new writers. Ted has to admit that his threat to not go on if his demands are not met turns out to be a big bluff, but Lou demands that Mary fire Phyllis. When she goes through with it, Phyllis plays it off as if she doesn’t care, but pleads with Mary to sign a letter of recommendation for her. John Amos makes his first appearance as Gordy Howard the weatherman. 7/8/19
• 011. 1040 or Fight – 11/28/1970
  • Mary is notified that she is being audited and becomes instantly nervous when she realizes that she didn’t claim income from typing a paper for a college student. The auditor Robert C. Brand (Paul Sand) is an easygoing but thorough guy who asks Mary to dinner after their first night of going over her receipts. She accepts, and continues to accept over the next several nights, but is unsure if they are even dates since all he wants to discuss is the audit. Mary even accepts a date to have lunch after she has already eaten, during which he tries to go over things they already have, and then kisses her head while looking over the papers. Once the audit is completed, she doesn’t hear from him for a while, but then he shows up with the audit. Initially she thinks she owes $8000, but she is looking at the wrong figure, which actually amounts to $16. Robert tells her that this was the best audit he ever had. He is surprised when she tells him their dating doesn’t have to end, and she continues to see him occasionally, although his plans are pretty full with auditing a player on the Vikings as he travels around. Gloria Lord is the waitress. David Hayward is the flower delivery boy. 3/1/20
• 012. Anchorman Overboard – 12/5/1970
  • Phyllis asks Mary to arrange to have Ted speak at her women’s club meeting, and Mary reluctantly agrees. Ted also agrees with Murray’s prodding, and Murray agrees with Mary’s prodding. Lou doesn’t like the idea and likens Ted’s mouth to a karate expert’s hands. Meanwhile an awkward publicity man named Dave Curson (Bill Fiore) visits Mary and fruitlessly asks if she has any ideas to help promotes his clients by featuring them on the news. The night after Ted’s club speech, Phyllis visits Mary and tells her the horrific results of the evening: Ted froze up during the question-and-answer session. Ted has also followed Phyllis to Mary’s house and proceeds to lock himself in the bathroom, claiming he has lost all of his charisma. Mary has to call Lou for help, and Lou ends up taking him home and getting him to work. When Ted returns to the air, he stumbles over every word, to the point that ratings go up because so many people have tuned in to laugh at Ted. Lou blames Mary and puts her in charge of fixing the problem. Mary works with Dave Curson to have the Midwestern Yo-Yo Association present Ted with a Man of the Year award, which seems to get Ted’s confidence back, which is obvious when he starts making demands of Lou for bath towels in his bathroom. The Minneapolis clock in the newsroom is broken, and is repaired by a clock repairman (Bob Duggan). 3/1/20
• 013. He’s All Yours – 12/12/1970
  • When the new young cameraman Allen Stevens (Wes Stern) gets chewed out by Lou for filming a brick covered with ants instead of a raging apartment fire, Mary invites him over since he had a rough day. Much to her surprise, he hits on Rhoda and then propositions Mary. She lets him know that she’s not interested, and when he figures out he won’t be getting lucky, he leaves before dinner. The next day he spreads rumors that he scored with Mary, so she goes to Lou to complain about him, only to find out that Allen is actually his nephew. Lew feels he owes his younger sister since he had previously fired her husband, so he directs Mary to be patient with him. Naturally Allen takes this as another opportunity to date Mary. Phyllis suggests that Mary could scare him off if she asks interested in him, but when Phyllis herself tries it on Allen, he tries to take her up on her offer. Mary finally lays into him and asks why he doesn’t find a girl his own age. He confesses that he’s had trouble with girls and is embarrassed to be the only virgin in college. Lou stops by at Mary’s to tell Allen that he missed another opportunity to film an exploding brewery and demotes him to the developing lab with the hefty Jocelyn “Bomber.” Lou apologizes to Mary for Allen’s behavior. Later Ted decides he might take his shot with Mary and asks her to dinner and is flatly refused. 6/14/20 
• 014. Christmas and the Hard Luck Kid II – 12/19/1970
  • Mary is looking forward to going home to her family’s for Christmas and has got her desk and apartment decorated to the hilt looking forward to the holiday. Mary asks Lou if she might be able to leave early on Christmas Eve to get a dump on the four-hour drive home, but instead he tells her that she is going to have to work on Christmas day, which nixes any chance of her going home for the holiday. She is disappointed but makes plans to spend Christmas Eve with Rhoda. However, when Fred (Ned Wertimer) asks Mary if she will work until midnight Christmas Eve for him so that he can spend the evening with his kids for once, Mary reluctantly agrees. She goes home for dinner and exchanges gifts with Rhoda, and then drops the bomb on her that she had to go back to work. Everyone feels sorry for her, and Lou even offers to stay instead, but Mary resigns herself to the fact that she will be staying alone. She spend the evening listening to carols, watching and dancing to The Nutcracker, and chatting with the transmission man Charlie (voice of Henry Corden). When she hears someone in the elevator, she is convinced it is a murderer and calls Rhoda to say goodbye. It turns out to be Lou, Murray, and Ted who have come to take her to a party at Murray’s house. Lou insists they all stay until midnight in case the station manager calls, so they spend their time singing Deck the Halls and doing some last-minute work. 6/14/20
• 015. Howard’s Girl – 1/2/1971
  • Mary is interested in dating Paul Arnell (Richard Schaal), a speechwriter for Congressman Styron whom she met while the station was doing interviews with Styron. Paul also happens to be the brother of her ex-boyfriend Howard. She dresses up to see him at work that day, and after nursing his eye after he got punched by a tattooed guy at the lunch counter, he does in fact ask her out. He comes over on Friday for their date and asks if she would mind stopping by his parents’ house before they leave for a two-month trip to Europe. He also gives her an early kiss in order to get past the first-date jitters. When they arrive, his father Bryan (Henry Jones), and his mother (Mary Jackson) can do nothing but sing the praises of Howard and seem to be unimpressed with Paul’s career. They also seem to keep pushing for Mary to date Howard, so they end up leaving early. After taking Mary home, Paul decides to go back to tell his parents that Mary is not Howard’s good. After some thought, Mary agrees to go along with him. As they all view View-Master slides of Europe, Paul’s mother seems surprised that Mary and Howard aren’t a couple. She even refuses to go to Europe and leave her two sons alone with Mary, who assures them that she has no interest in Howard and is just starting to explore feelings for Paul. He however says he knows perfectly well that he’s crazy about Mary, making her uncomfortable. He takes Mary home and tells her that he bought Howard a ticket for him to go along to Europe with them. 9/28/20
• 016. Party Is Such Sweet Sorrow – 1/9/1971
  • Mary gets an offer from General Manager Bob Freelander (Dick Clair) to be a producer at competing TV station WKS for a ladies show called The Ladies Talk Show. It is for a lot more money, so she feels she has to take it, but doesn’t want to leave WJM. Rhoda and Phyllis advise her to demand a raise from Mr. Grant or she will have to quit. He already know this, but is unable to get the WJM General Manager to agree to it. Still Lou advises her not to take the job, and gives her a guilt trip about considering it because he doesn’t want her to leave. When she says she doesn’t have a choice, Lou tells Mary he wants to give her a going-away party. The night before her last day at work, she can’t sleep, so Rhoda and Phyllis come over, and Phyllis advises her that it will be exciting to have a new adventure. The next day at work, Mary has a six-hour liquid lunch because she is too scared to face everyone for her party. Mary can’t keep from breaking into tears all evening, while Ted gets drunk and expresses his fears that he’s a terrible anchor and always wanted to be a fashion model. Mary tries to sneak out but gets talked into delivering a speech, in which she confesses she knows she’ll never see them again after she leaves. On her way out, Lou calls her into his office and tells her that he’s going to threaten to quit if the manager doesn’t meet Mary’s offer from Freelander. Lou gets her to call Freelander and tell him that she’s decided not to take the job. Ted later tries to get Mary to chip in on the party since she never actually left. 9/28/20
• 017. Just a Lunch – 1/16/1971
  • Lou spends a late night with news anchor John Corcoran (Monte Markham) and comes in the next morning still tipsy. John also joins him at the station, where he used to work, and Mary allows him to use her desk. He also asks Mary to lunch, and she quickly agrees to go. During the lunch, John tells Mary that he is married, at which point she starts to become uncomfortable with the conversation. Later she tells Rhoda about the situation, and how she didn’t known how to respond. John stops over at her apartment and Mary tells him that Rhoda is her roommate, so she doesn’t have to be alone with him. She tells him because of his marital status, she doesn’t think they should see each other anymore. He agrees but notes he will see her in the office. Mr. Grant tries to force Mary to be John’s assistant for a project, but she refuses, and he finally sees it her way. Murray and his wife Marie (Joyce Bulifant) host a dinner party and invite several members of the newsroom, including John, to come. During the party, John continues to make Mary uncomfortable until Mr. Grant tries to intervene by sitting between them. She tells him that she has to resolve the issue on her own. John suggests that they play the party game Tell the Truth, and then says that he’s in love with someone in the room. Mary suggests that he uses the world ‘love’ like some use the world ‘hello’. John also says that he’s thinking of getting a divorce, to which Mary merely laughs and tells him that he isn’t. Mr. Grant suggests that he and John go back out drinking again, and Mary declines to go along. Glorya Lord is the autograph seeker in the restaurant. 1/14/21
• 018. Second Story Story – 1/23/1971
  • Mary spills some of Lou’s alcohol on her dress at work, so goes home at lunch to change clothes… only to find out that all of her clothes have been stolen out of her closet, along with her TV and record player. She flips out and calls for help, and Rhoda and Phyllis come over to assist. Rhoda calls the police and pretends to be accosted by a man with a gun, so Officer Larry Tully (Bob Dishy) and Officer Jackson (Vic Tayback) rush over. They initially think that Mary is drunk when they smell her dress, but then take her report and try to sugarcoat a warning that sometimes burglars return to the scene of the crime to strike again. Officer Tully flirts with Mary. She goes shopping to replace her clothes, and then returns to work. When she comes home that night, she finds that she has been robbed again; this time everything is missing except her couch. The same officers return and get a report from Phyllis about seeing a van outside, and she is able to recall the license number. Officer Tully continues to flirt with her. Some of the guys at the station brings Mary some household items to replace the ones she lost. Mary gets a call from Tully and is told that her stuff was found. She goes to the police station and chats with an elderly man named Jerry (Burt Mustin), before Tully, dressed in a suit, comes to see her and tells her they think they’ve recovered her stuff from a suspicious van posing as charity workers. Mary has to leave behind a dress for evidence, and has some trouble picking out which one. James McCallion is the desk sergeant Ed Sprinkle. 1/14/21
• 019. We Closed in Minneapolis – 1/30/1971
  • Mary and Mr. Grant notice that Murray has had another play script returned, and they assume he has gotten one more rejection letter. Murray sees it when he arrives, and tosses the entire envelope in the trash. Mary then opens it only to find out that he has actually gotten an offer from the Twin Cities Playhouse to produce the play All Work and No Play, a story about a newsroom and the lead characters Mary and Luke. They then learn that Ted is affiliated with the playhouse, and was the one who submitted the play… and hopes to play the lead role. Mary herself gets the lead role of Mary, and Lou doesn’t take too kindly to the character Luke, the head of the newsroom who shouts. On opening night, Ted gets John Steinmetz, the drama critic for the Times Herald to attend opening night, which makes everyone more nervous. After the play, Mary hosts an opening night party, where Rhoda tells her how terrible Ted was. Ted, Murray, and Marie all come and they wait for Lou to arrive with the reviews. Steinmetz pans everything about the production except for Mary, whom he gives a lukewarm review. The next day at work, Murray thinks he’s washed up as a playwright, but Mary arrives with some old reviews from Steinmetz, giving horrible reviews to Death of a Salesman and My Fair Lady, which makes Murray feel much better. Elliot Street is Milt from the mailroom. 5/7/21
• 020. Hi! – 2/6/1971
  • Mary is planning a stay in the hospital, but is reluctant to tell anyone what she is going in for. Finally Lou gets it out of her that she has to have one tonsil removed, which seemingly grew back at some point after she had gotten both removed as a child. Rhoda sneaks a sexy, short nightgown in her luggage and removes her actual nightgown, hoping it will attract the attention of the doctors. Mary winds up in the room with a crotchety older ulcer patient with a broken leg. Her name is Loretta Kuhne (Pat Carroll), and she is very short with Mary, has the doctor move the TV that Mary rented over to her side of the bed, and accuses Mary of listening in to her heated phone conversations with her husband. Mary is also reluctant to tell her that she works with Ted Baxter, as she has already told Mary that she finds Ted’s broadcasts to be hilarious and inept, so she claims to be a stewardess. Lou and Murray both visit and bring her ice cream which she is sick of, and they wind up the middle of a fight between Loretta and Fred (Bruce Kirby). Mary feels bad for her after he storms out. When she is discharged, she feels a sense of sadness because she has become used to Loretta, but Loretta doesn’t seem to feel the same way. When Mary finally confronts her about her rudeness, she finally starts to feel bad and apologizes to Mary. She also asks Mary where she got her nightgown, because she plans to reconcile with her husband, and wear it. It turns out however that Fred isn’t her husband after all. Robert Casper is the anesthesiologist. Lynn Wood is the nurse. Arthur Abelson is the attendant. 5/8/21
• 021. The Boss Isn’t Coming to Dinner – 2/13/1971
  • Lou and his wife Edie marry off their third and final daughter to live life as empty nesters. Mary takes the opportunity to invite the Grants to dinner at her place, but he is looking forward to being alone with his wife. Lou politely declines and says he wants to be alone with her for their first week alone. However, Lou suddenly starts to be in a bad mood every day, and the following week, he again declines her invitation. Mary starts to become suspicious when all of the others tell Mary that Lou has been to their houses for dinner. Mary makes one more attempt, and gets shot down again, this time it is very obvious that he is making excuses. Mary then goes directly to Mrs. Grant to invite them over but finds out from her that she and Lou have separated. Mary tries to keep it under wraps, but when she sees that Lou is calling her, Mary becomes hopeful and tries to invite them again. Lou says he was just calling to see if she’ll do his laundry. Lou tells Mary that he walked out on her because she wanted to take some college courses to get her degree. Mary tries to give him advice, but he declines. He then changes his mind and invites her to gor for drinks along with the other guys, so he can hear her advice. However, Mary just sits at the table listening to the men bash women, before finally stepping in and telling Lou that it’s a good thing for her to go to school, and he should be proud of her. After everyone but Ted leaves the bar, Lou calls Edie and asks her if he can come home. She is looking forward to see him, but gives him a grocery list to shop for on the way home. Paul Micale is the waiter. 9/4/21
• 022. A Friend in Deed – 2/20/1971
  • Everyone in the newsroom is irritated by the new receptionist, Rochelle Margaret “Twinks” McFarland (Pat Finley aka Patte Finley) when she keeps hugging them when they come in. Mary finally realizes that Twinks is an old campmate of Mary’s from Camp Okamuk a dozen years earlier. Twinks quickly encroaches on their friendship, by trying to make plans with Mary for the next few days and the weekend. She also meets Rhoda and tries to latch on to a friendship with her. Eventually it all becomes too much for Mary, so she calls Twink and tries to break off the friendship… but Twink invites her to be her Maid of Honor in her upcoming wedding to Arnold Tvedt. Mary again vows to break it off and even decides to take a trip so that she can truthfully tell her that she is going to be out of town the wedding. However, when Twink tells her that she’s ordered the dresses already, Mary has to go through with it. Furthermore, Twinks also talks Rhoda into being bridesmaid. They each get the same brightly colored tacky dress, and they go to work to alter it, but then Twinks shows up and tells her that her best friend whom Twinks had originally wanted to be the Maid of Honor. Although irritated with Twinks because she had already paid for the dress, she is relieved to get out of the friendship. This doesn’t let Rhoda of the hook, and she is forced to be a bridesmaid in the same tacky, but purple, dress. 9/4/21
• 023. Smokey the Bear Wants You – 2/27/1971
  • Mary and Rhoda get a ride home from the gas station by a man named Chuck Pelligrini (Michael Callan) when Rhoda’s car breaks down. When Chuck compliments Mary’s apartment, Rhoda takes the credit for it and tells him that she and Mary are roommate. Before he leaves, Chuck asks Rhoda out for a date. She is thrilled to accept, and even more so since he chose her over Mary. Although Mary admits to being a little jealous, she also warns Rhoda that she knows very little about Chuck. The dating continues for weeks, and his meals and gifts to Rhoda get more and more expensive, culminating with Chuck offering Rhoda his car. After Lou announces that the news has a pre-empted by a parade, Mary and crew at the station discuss Mary’s concern about his spending, since it appears he has no job. Mary and Rhoda later discuss this as well, and Rhoda becomes concerned that he has organized crime ties. That night after their date meetings Chuck’s godfather, Rhoda finally pushes him to tell her about his work. He tells her that has recently quit his job as Vice President of the Hercules Lawnmower and Snow Blower company. He has led a wealthy lifestyle but has recently quit due to the pressure of the job. Now that he hasn’t worked for two months, he’s almost out of money, and now plans to return to college to get a degree to become a Forest Ranger. He will make far less money, which disappoints Rhoda, but he invites her and Mary to go on a night hike and camping. Rhoda admits how much she likes Chuck, so she agrees to go. Mary and Rhoda both come back miserable, exhausted, and in pain from the hike. Chuck starts to see the writing on the wall that he and Rhoda probably aren’t going to work out. Rhoda disagrees and tells him that she wants him to stick around and accept each other as they are. However, Mary is starting to get irritated that Chuck still thinks that Mary’s apartment is Rhoda’s. Meanwhile, Rhoda starts boning up learning about tree disease. 3/4/22
• 024. The 45-Year Old Man – 3/6/1971
  • Mary comes into the office covered in yellow feathers because she was trying to console Big Chicken (Richard Libertini) after he gets fired from the network by the new station manager Barry Phelps (Richard Roat). Ted is afraid he will be next since his ratings were lower than Big Chicken’s. Lou assures him that his job will be safe. Later Mr. Phelps calls down to the newsroom and asks everyone from the station to come see him… except for Mr. Grant. Mary correctly assumes that he doesn’t want to see Grant because he is about to be fired. She tells Mr. Grant that she and the others are all going to the bank. Mr. Grant’s sales manager Everett Edwards (Sidney Clute) tells everyone that he is unable to sell the news, and Ted points out that his fan mail is up, so it must be ‘behind the scenes.’ Mary is furious that Mr. Grant will be the scapegoat, so she tries to arrange a strike. She tells Mr. Grant the bad news, and he says he’s not worried because he’s had multiple offers. However, the main offer is no longer available because Lou is now forty-five and is considered too old in the business. Mary then assembles all of the others at her apartment. Murray tells her that the union won’t let them strike of the firing of a manager, and Gordy says he can’t participate in a strike anyway because his wife is pregnant. Ted won’t back them up on a strike, but advises that if it here him, he would go see the station owner Wild Jack Monroe (Slim Pickens). However, on one wants to see him, they all send Mary to talk to him. Wild Jack is as wild as he sounds and mounts a fake horse in his office. After Mary states her case, Wild Jack tells her that he’ll think about it. Back at the station, Lou has received his pink slip and is packing up his things. Mary tells him that she went to see Wild Jack, to which Lou responds that he didn’t ask for her help. Nevertheless, Wild Jack shows up and talk to Lou, remembering that they once had a fist fight. Jack tells Lou that he has a job offer for Lou in Idaho, but when Lou hedges, Jack tells Lou that he already has a program manager in Idaho, so he’s transferring him back to his original office. Big Chicken also gets his job back, since it was Wild Jack’s favorite show. 3/5/22

SEASON 2

Theme song: “Love Is All Around” written and performed by Sonny Curtis, with revised lyrics

• 025. The Birds…and…um…Bess – 9/18/1971
  • The morning after Mary’s documentary What’s Your Sexual I.Q.? airs on TV, tongues are abuzz about it from her discussions with Rhoda and Phyllis, who let her young daughter Bess watch it, to the folks at work who are discussing how they scored on the sex quiz. Ted is intrigued by a fellow associate in Sales named Peggy Ann Waterson who scored a 100% and he immediately scores a date with her. Calls are pouring in, which mostly fall into two categories: for the doc, against the doc, and obscene. After a long day of talking about nothing but the documentary, Mary comes home to Phyllis, who asks Mary if she will talk to her daughter about sex. Bess has questions, and Phyllis is afraid that she will botch the answers and affect her for the rest of her life. Mary reluctantly agrees to have Bess come over Saturday morning. Rhoda also joins her to offer support. It turns out that Bess already has come to a consensus among her friends what is true about sex, but she is more interested to know about love itself. And more specifically since sex is often tied to love, whether she can safely love her boyfriend Howie without having to worry about sex. Mary emphatically assures her that she can love in her own way, without sex even crossing her mind until she is much older. Bess is satisfied with the answer, and Rhoda admits that Mary has given even her a new way of thinking about love and sex. Mary reports back to Phyllis that Bess has a good handle on love and sex, but Phyllis now wants to go tell her about sex in her own way so that she’ll have them memory of hearing it from her mother as well. 7/8/22
• 026. I Am Curious Cooper – 9/25/1971
  • Mary has been having causal conversations with Mr. Grant’s good friend, a lawyer named Mike Cooper (Michael Constantine) when he calls for Lou at the office. She starts to ask Lou about him, and likewise he starts asking Lou about her. Lou makes it clear to Mary that he never sets up men and women anymore, after he once referred a friend to a woman he knew, they got married, and now the man is miserable wit his life. However, that evening he thinks about it and stops by Mary’s place for a drink and tells Mary that he has changed his mind and since both she and Mike are two of his favorite people, he is going to break his rule and introduce them. He arranges to have lunch at a Japanese restaurant, but it seems to be Lou that is doing all of the talking, telling them what a great person the other one is, and asking each of them what they think of each other. They admit they both feel self-conscience and ask Lou to relax. A few dates later, Mary confesses to Rhoda that there doesn’t seem to be much chemistry between her and Mike, and that all they ever seem to talk about is Lou. On that particular evening, they are going to Lou’s for dinner, so it will be inevitable that they talk about him once again. After the date, when Mike brings her home, they both finally admit that they really aren’t each other’s type, but they feel bad about letting Lou down. They agree that he needs to find out the next morning, so Mary agrees to tell him at work. When Mary tells Lou, he is upset and tells her that he broke his rule for her, but she tells him that they gave it a chance, and that she and Mike both feel the same way. Mike joins them at the office and he agrees with Mary. Lou is also concerned that he did something wrong, but they both express their appreciation. Lou presents them with hockey tickets that he was going to give them, but asks Mike to go with him instead. They then decide to just spend the evening drinking together, so he gives the tickets to Mary… and suggests that she ask Lou’s wife to go with her. Shizuko Iwamatsu is Mama Moto. 7/8/22
• 027. He’s No Heavy… He’s My Brother – 10/2/1971
  • During a record-breaking cold spell in November, Mary is notified that the company’s vacation policy has been changed and she is required to take her vacation in the next few weeks. As she tries to come up with a place to go. Murray invites in station employee Jackie (Annette Molen) to show Mary the nice tan she got visiting Puerto Lorenzo, Mexico, where she can get a hotel room for $12 a day. That night Mary talks Rhoda into switching her vacation to December and to go along with her. Rhoda agrees to go with her, so the next day Mary begins planning the trip with a travel agent. Lou starts to get annoyed as Mary juggles calls between the agent, her mother from whom she needs to get her birth certificate, and Rhoda. She and Rhoda plan to have lunch at a new Mexican restaurant El Zapato Rojo that day, but before she heads out, the agent calls Mary back and tells her that she can’t get the room in Puerto Lorenzo. Gustavo (Frank Ramirez), the owner of the restaurant, overhears their conversation and offers to get them a room in another nearby Mexican town, San Leon. Mary initially declines, but Rhoda thinks it is a great idea and tells her to be more trusting of people. However, she also gives him Mary’s phone number, and warns her that she can’t be too careful, and should make sure not to accept any dates should Gustavo calls. A few days, the girls are looking for another place since they haven’t heard back from Gustavo. However, he finally calls and notifies them that he got the reservations in San Leon. As the trip approaches, Gustavo stops by the station with a package for Mary and gives her convoluted directions on who to deliver it to, with it ultimately ending up with a woman named Pilar, to whom she is asked to tell her think of him when she lights it up. Mary and Rhoda become concerned that they are smuggling illegal contraband, so they open up the package, which turns out to only contain candles from the Twin Cities. Rhoda starts to re-wrap it, and then Gustavo comes to the house and asks for the package back. Although Rhoda gets it wrapped quickly, Mary still admits that they had opened it. Gustavo isn’t too upset, considering he was taking it back because he heard that Pilar, his fiancé, was not going to marry someone else… his brother. Gustavo decides to let them deliver it anyway, and he changes the note to let his brother know that the girls deliver his packages are his American girlfriends. The gals head out on their vacation. 11/2/22
• 028. Room 223 – 10/9/1971
  • Murray gets an emergency call from his wife Marie, who needs him home to help with a broken hot water heater. Mary tells Murray she will cover for him in case there any bulletins that need typed up to hand off to Ted, who is currently on the air. However, when a bulletin does indeed come in, involving a fire at a munitions plant outside of town, Mary suffers writer’s block and get it typed up fast enough. Lou takes the story and types up very quickly but can’t get it Ted before he leaves the air. As a result of this, Mary decides to take a news writing course at the local college at Phyllis’s suggestion. Rhoda decides to take the class with her just for fun. On the first night of class, Mary introduces herself as an Associate Producer, and then has plenty to say during the course of the class. The teacher and author of the text Television Journalism, Dan Whitfield (Michael Tolan), asks Mary to stay after class. It turns out he simply asks her on a date, and she accepts. The date goes well, and he has no problem kissing her even though she is his student. Mary works on her assignment at the station, writing a news bulletin for D-Day. When Lou finds it lying around, he nearly gets excited and reports it as news until Murray lets him know it is merely Mary’s assignment. Murray offers to critique it, but she declines because he tells her everything that she does is terrific. When he does read it, he tells her that it is terrific. Mary also asks Lou to come and speak in the class, and although he initially declines since he doesn’t have the ‘gift of gab’, he winds up showing up and making a one-sentence speech. He is asked questions by class members Mr. DeForrest (Val Bisoglio) and Mrs. Marshall (Florida Friebus) and tells them that there are very few jobs in newswriting, and also laughs at the notion that one can be a news writer from home. At the end of class, Dan passes back the assignments and Mary receives a C+. She is initially irritated that less qualified students got B’s, but Dan explains that they are only taking the class for fun, and she is taking it to actually improve her writing. He says a C is an average grade, and she is currently an average writer. However, he admits he added the ‘plus’ because of how he feels about her, and they head out on their dinner date. The next day when she tells Murray her grade, he says for a first paper, her grade was terrific. 11/2/22
• 029. A Girl’s Best Mother Is Not Her Friend – 10/16/1971
  • Rhoda drops by the news station to tell Mary that her mother Ida is coming to town for a visit from New York and that they need to rent a bed for her. When she arrives, she starts to get on Rhoda’s nerves right away. She also tells them that she just vacationed in the Poconos by herself and met a young man who is perfect for Mary. Rhoda wants to know why he’s not perfect for her, and Ida tells her that she’s not Jewish. Rhoda tells her to finish being her mother before she starts branching out to someone else, causing Ida to announce that she’s leaving. The two make up and she agrees to stay. The next morning, Ida meets Phyllis and Bess, who are dressed up in the same outfits. She also overhears Mary talking to her mother and is surprised to hear them talking like friends. Ida gets inspired and decides she wants to act like best friends with Rhoda. Ida shows up at the newsroom to meet up with Rhoda and Mary for lunch. To Rhoda’s surprise, Ida is wearing the same dress that Rhoda is wearing and had just bought the day before. When Ida tells Rhoda that she isn’t wearing a bra, Rhoda throws a fit and tells her that she’s rather have her mother back rather than a new friend who is now a stranger. When Ida threatens to leave again, Rhoda agrees to be friends with her. When Rhoda mentions that she has a date that night, Ida tries to avoid any ‘mother’ questions although she is chomping at the bit for information. When Rhoda is late coming home, Ida comes down to Mary’s apartment as she’s ready to go to bed. She doesn’t want to admit she is worried, but clearly can’t stop being her mother. Rhoda finally comes down to Mary’s to find Ida. She tells her mother that right now she needs a mother rather than a friend, as she was trying avoid inviting her lecherous date into the apartment and was using her mother being there as an excuse. Ida is pleased as punch to march up and throw the guy out. After a week, Ida is ready to head out to visit her other daughter in Chicago.  3/9/23
• 030. Cover Boy – 10/23/1971
  • Ted has had a perfect night on the air, and it becomes apparent why after he highly competitive brother Hal Baxter (Jack Cassidy) arrives in town. Hal is a famous commercial actor and model and begins minimizing Ted’s job as soon as he arrives, even asking Mary how much Ted makes. Ted asks Lou if he will go out into the newsroom and offer Ted a make-believe raise in front of Hal in order to impress him. After the compare salaries, and cars, Hal suggests that Ted take him out to dinner, and then that they take dates. Ted pretends that Mary is his girl much to her surprise, and she reluctantly agrees to go with them and to ask Rhoda to be Hal’s date. Ted shows Hal around the apartment and tries to pretend he comes there all the time, but then accidentally eats some wax fruit. When the brothers start arm wrestling, Mary tells them not to be so competitive and they head off to dinner. Ted tries to go cheap and order off the kids’ menu, but in the end, the restaurant won’t take his gasoline card, so Mary is forced to pay for everyone. When they get back to Mary’s apartment, Rhoda has Hal up to her place so they can look through magazines for Hal’s picture. Ted tells Mary he needs to stick around for a while because Hal rode with him so he can’t leave before Hal does. Ted and Mary stay up all night playing Go Fish and listening to music, but when the sun comes up, she insists that Ted call Hal. However, Rhoda calls Mary and asks her to turn off the music so she can go back to sleep. She also tells her that Hal took a taxi back to his hotel a half hour after they got home. Later that morning at work, Mary can barely keep her eyes open and forgets to put the coffee powder into the coffee. Ted shows up that afternoon and tries to ask Mary go out with him and Hal again. She tells him she can’t take them topping each other and suggests that Ted back off first. Ted takes her advice and admits that Mary isn’t his girlfriend and also shows Hal that he wears glasses. Hal then tries to top him on being honest, admitting that his dimple is fake. He also tells him that his next commercial in town is for white stretch socks. Ted invites Hal to watch him mess up the news since he’s really terrible. 3/9/23
• 031. Didn’t You Used to Be… Wait… Don’t Tell Me – 10/30/1971
  • Mary gets a copy of the Viking Voice, the official news magazine of the Leif Erickson High School of Roseburg, Minnesota, where Mary graduated in 1959. Among the gossip in the magazine is an update on Mary becoming a ‘career girl’ rather than getting married. The former student reporting all of this is her old rival and the magazine’s editor Estelle Kamser Proust (Pippa Scott), also from the class of 1959 as well. She also suggests that a good eligible bachelor for Mary is her old boyfriend Howard Arnell from the Class of 1956, who now lives in Denver. Mary considers going to the upcoming reunion celebrating the 50th anniversary of the school, and since she believes that Howard would never go that far to attend, she asks Lou if she can go there to report on the reunion. He tells her that he can’t allow that but suggests that she simply calls in sick on the day of the reunion. Rhoda asks if she can go along with Mary in order to possibly meet some eligible bachelors. Estelle, who has arranged the reunion, has gotten permission to use the gym, but has to have everyone take their shoes off. When Howard shows up for his class reunion, she tells him there won’t be much room in the gym and he’ll have to move to his reunion. After seeing a surprised Mary, he tries to hang around at the reunion despite the hole in his sock that he tries to hide. While Howard is pestering Mary, Rhoda sneaks off with a former student named Ed Sims (Ron Masak). Estelle expresses her disappointment in the turnout, and when the former principal Mr. Vandermast (Kermit Murdock), he agrees that the Class of 1959 has no spirit. He also makes a fuss over Mary being there and begins to act flirtatious with her himself, even telling her that he has an award to present to her. Richard returns to the room and confides to Mary that the single life isn’t all as great as he lets on. He surprised Mary by asking her to marry him, gathering applause from everyone in the room. When Mary turns him down, Howard simply asks her to introduce him to some of her friends. Rhoda returns to the room, having sneaked away from the square-dance with Ed. When Rhoda finds out that Mary turned down Howard, she rushes to introduce herself to him. Mary receives her special, but tiny, trophy for being the student to travel the farthest to get to the reunion… even though she only came 125 miles from Minneapolis. Jack Riley is reunion attendee Eldon Colfax, who has had so much plastic surgery, he looks nothing like he used to. 8/15/23
• 032. Thoroughly Unmilitant Mary – 11/6/1971
  • Ted announces on the news that there is a possible impending strike by the Television Newswriter’s Union against the Association of Independent Television Stations. And although he doesn’t even hear what he reads, everyone reminds him that this will affect Murray and Gordy at WJM. Lou reminds Mary that as a member of management, she will be required to cross the picket line if they strike. A fellow writer named Al (Dick Balduzzi) is on the negotiating committee, but even he has no new updates. Mary tries to stay positive, and Gordy predicts that they will settle. That night as they have dinner, Rhoda tells Mary that she saw some of the picket signs at the sign shop that day. Rhoda criticizes her for planning the cross the picket line and being a ‘scab’. The next day everyone is on pins and needles waiting for news, and finally Al enters and announces they are all on strike. Murray gets pulled away by Al from writing one final news story about the strike, leaving Ted to deliver just half of a story. The next morning, when Mary crosses the picket line, a guy starts yelling at her, so Gordy hands Mary his sign and goes after the guy. A photographer takes a picture of Mary holding the sign. Lou assigns Mary to start writing the news stories, while Lou has to operate the camera on the Chuckles the Clown Show. After Ted gets word that AFTRA is honoring the picket line, forcing Ted to go on strike too. Lou has to cover for Ted and deliver the news. When he quietly mumbles his way through it, all of the other guys can’t help but laugh at his performance. The next night, Lou decides to get drunk before going on the air. He does a much better job, but when he goes back to his office to fill up with more alcohol, he ends up falling asleep. Chuckles’ producer Herb (Larry Gelman) has to then take Lou’s place, after filling in for Chuckles earlier. While Lou tries to nurse his hangover, the writers show up at Morrissey’s bar and announce that the strike has ended.  Paul Micale is the waiter. NOTE: Al is listed as “Fred” in the credits. 8/15/23
• 033. And Now, Sitting in for Ted Baxter – 11/13/1971
  • As Lou laments the low ratings of the station, Mary discovers that Ted hasn’t gone on a vacation in four years. Lou tells her that he has never been able to get Ted to take one, despite throwing him a going-away party, and even putting it on his cue cards so that he tells the audience that he’ll be gone for two weeks. When Mary broaches the subject with Ted, he quickly changes the subject and flees to his dressing room. Mary tries once again and insists that the union requires that he take at least two weeks off each year. Ted tells Mary not to tell anyone how nice his dressing room is for fear that it will be taken away from him. Mary deduces that Ted is afraid that he will lose his job if he leaves, so she assures him that the replacement will only be temporary, and they will leave as soon as he returns. Ted finally agrees to take a trip to Acapulco, and the Lou begins interviewing replacements. After he speaks to a man (William Woodson) with a great voice and an ugly face, applicant Rod Porter (Jed Allan) shows up for an interview. Rod is handsome, tall, and has a great voice, as well as a knowledge about writing his own copy. Lou and Mary show him around the place, leaving Ted already starting to feel edged out before he even leaves. After more than a week, the station’s ratings are up, and they have reached #2 in the ratings. Mary feels horrible, as she can tell that Lou already has his sights on keeping Ted permanently. Ted’s fan mail starts rolling in, but Mary soon realizes from one negative letter, and a postcard without a picture that Ted is still in Minneapolis and that he wrote the negative letter about Rod. Back at home, Mary discovers that even Rhoda is enamored with Rod. Ted stops by her house to find out how Rod is doing, and she has to tell him that he is going very well. He wants reassurance that Mary will be on his side and will pity him. Once Ted’s two weeks end, Ted returns to work, and deduces from Lou’s actions that Rod is going to take his place. When Rod tells Ted that him going on vacation was the best thing that ever happened to him, Ted accepts defeat gracefully. However, Rod then tells him that he got an offer to go work for a network in New York City and has accepted the job. Ted is relieved and leaves the room so that he can yell out a grateful scream in the other room. He later says that he’s never taking a vacation again, deducing that if he had stayed, the network would have seen him and offered him the job in New York. 12/7/23
• 034. Don’t Break the Chain – 11/20/1971
  • Mary gets a chain letter in the mail and is ready to immediately discard it until Rhoda points out that it was sent to her by Lou Grant. She brings it to the office in order to send it to folks on the Christmas card list who work at the station, but Murray has the exact same idea. Mary decides to just rip it up and pitch it, but shortly after Lou arrives at work, he finds it in the trash can. He calls Mary in and hands her back the letter, but she tells him that she doesn’t believe in them. He says he doesn’t either, but that the name on the top of the list is TV personality Allen Ludden, so Mary reluctantly agrees to send it on. Mary goes through her address book to find people to send the letter to, and among the names are Armond Lynton (Jack De Mave), a guy Rhoda added into the book after he showed up with his wife when he was supposed to be Rhoda’s date, and Roy Martoni (Gino Conforti), a steak knife salesman who tried to also sell Mary encyclopedias. Later, Armond shows up at the station to thank Mary for the chain letter, and he tells Mary that he has recently become separated from his wife Nancy. He tells Mary that it is his birthday and asks her if she would have dinner with him, and she agrees. That night he shows up a half hour early, because he had nothing to do and has an empty apartment. Rhoda stops by and is surprised to see him but finds that she now would like to go out with him, and Mary agrees that she will help Rhoda. Roy Martoni then shows up at the apartment with two giant suitcases full of Thunderware waterless cookware to try and sell to her. They agree to let Roy do his demonstration. Armond agrees to buy the pots and pans in order to end the demonstration early. Mary talks Armond into staying in and making dinner at her house using his new Thunderware. Ray has a carful of groceries to contribute to the cause. Roy wants to know which lady is with Armond, and Rhoda says it is her. Roy then assumes he will be Mary’s date for their dinner. The next day at the station, Ted gets his first dollar from the chain letter, but it turns out to be the one he mailed being returned because he didn’t put a stamp on it. 12/7/23
• 035. The Six-and-a-Half-Year Itch – 11/27/1971
  • With Lou’s wife Edie out of town visiting her sister, Lou is looking for something to do. Mary and Rhoda are going to see a Fellini film, so he opts out of that invitation in favor of going to a John Wayne film. When Ted finds out he is looking for something to do, he tries to invite him, but Lou says he’s going to see a John Wayne film with Mary to get Ted to back off. Lou, Mary, and Rhoda all end up going to see the Wayne picture, but before it even starts, Lou runs into his daughter Sarah’s husband Billy Phelps (Lawrence Pressman). He quickly realizes that Bill is there with another woman named Patti Woods (Elizabeth Berger). Everyone tries to play it off, but Lou gets too upset and walks out, so Mary and Rhoda follow him. They go back to Mary’s place, where Lou calls Edie to try and make her think everything is okay at home, although his voice is constantly high-pitched. The next day at work, Lou is in a horrible mood and snaps at everyone. Mary tries to be understanding and get him to talk about what’s troubling him. He calls her into his office, but he can’t get any words out. He has Mary call and cancel the dinner plans he had with Bill and Sarah for that night. Bill then comes to the station to see Lou, and he admits that he was in fact going to have an affair. He had been seeing everyone else doing it and decided to give a whirl himself, but when he saw Lou at the theater, he took that as a sign and called it off. Bill tries to gain Lou’s understanding and tells him that he must be a ‘man of the world’, but Lou tells him that he has never once cheated on Edie. He said he came close during the war when he was trapped with a nurse in a building that was about to be shelled. Still, he decided that in a world full of cop-outs and compromises that there are some things that need to remain cut-and-dry, and his love for his wife is one of them. Bill agrees to stay with Lou at the office for a liquid lunch. 4/15/24
• 036. …Is a Friend in Need – 12/4/1971
  • While coming to the station to have lunch with Mary, Rhoda tells her that she has quit her job as a window dresser at Bloomfield’s. Later that night, Mary has Rhoda and Phyllis over for dinner, and Rhoda wants to talk to Mary more about the job. Rhoda allows Phyllis to stay for the discussion as well, and she tells them that the management at Bloomfield’s was too chintzy and never allowed her full creativity in her displays. Then when everyone at the place got a bonus but her, she took it as a hint that she wasn’t wanted there. Although she claims that she quit, Rhoda’s boss says he fired her. A week later, Rhoda still hasn’t found a job and is spending her days watching soap operas and games shows on Mary’s couch. She keeps claiming that she hasn’t gotten around to looking for a job but has filed for unemployment. Phyllis tries to help her by circling jobs in the newspaper want ads, including one for a nude model. Later, Mary sees that WJM has posted some job openings on their bulletin board, including one job as an Art Director. Although Murray thinks she’d be great at it, Mary clearly doesn’t want to work with Rhoda and tells him that Rhoda would hate that job. When Rhoda shows up to have lunch with Mary, she finds out about the job, but Mary immediately tells her that the job has been filled. Murray is shocked, but Lou loves the fact that he has regained faith in humanity to see that Mary, too, can act like a rotten person. Mary and Rhoda go to lunch, and it becomes clear how frugal Rhoda must live while she is on unemployment when she will not order anything over and above soup and a salad and the free crackers. Mary insists on treating as the guilt eats her up, and finally she admits that she lied to Rhoda bout the job being filled. Rhoda is stunned but admits that she would hate that job anyway. Later, Mary and Rhoda find Phyllis asleep in the hair dryer at Mary’s place and start pestering her about looking for another job. Rhoda then surprises them by telling them that she has gotten a job at Hemple’s to be in charge of the window dressing department. She admits to Phyllis that she was indeed fired from Bloomfield’s, and also reveals that she will be making more than Mary, who suggests that she can treat at their next dinner. Beverly Sanders is Rayette the waitress. 4/15/24
• 037. The Square-Shaped Room – 12/11/1971
  • Lou and his wife Edie have gotten into an argument about whether or not to redecorate their daughters’ rooms now that they are out and married. Edie has gone off to a fat farm, like she often does when they get in a fight. Lou wants to redecorate the living room as a surprise to her for when she returns. He has a decorator lined up, one he knew from the Army, who used to decorate for them and now designs bus stations. Mary suggests that they find a decorator who is more fit to do a home. Lou puts her in charge of it, but she has trouble finding anyone. After discussing it with Phyllis, Mary decides to ask Rhoda if she wants the job since she does a great job doing window dressing at Hempel’s. Mary asks Rhoda if she wants the job, and she decides to go for it, although it is all new to her. Mary sells it to Lou by telling him that Rhoda can get a discount on furniture at Hempel’s. and that she will charge based on how much he likes it. Rhoda and Mary pay Lou a visit at his home to get some ideas, but the only things he offers is that he wants to keep his lounge chair and the doorknob for sentimental reasons, and that he likes things ‘light and airy’ and ‘inexpensive’. Rhoda sells all of Lou’s furniture at Barney’s, then becomes scared when faced with the big empty room. She shows Mary and Phyllis some of the items she’s picked out from catalogs, but she can’t read their reactions, and decides just to do it all by herself, hoping that it might lead to a interior decorating career if he likes it. Once it is ready, Mary talks Lou into letting her be there for the big unveiling. When she reveals the new furniture, it looks fancy, attractive, and very white. Lou has a huge smile plastered on his face and tells Rhoda that he loves it. In fact, he says he loves it so much that he sends her upstairs to get ideas for their bedroom. While she is up there, he tells Mary that he hates it. He finds it unlivable and is afraid he will be underdressed when he tries to relax. He feels as if he can’t even walk on the carpet. He leaves it up to Mary to tell Lou, but they wind up both telling her that Lou described it to his wife, and she didn’t like it. Lou says he’d like to keep his original chair and the glass ashtray that she bought. Rhoda returns to Barney’s to try and retrieve all of his old furniture. Later, Lou tells Rhoda that Mrs. Grant loved what she did, referring to the white walls that she painted. He gives her an envelope with her payment, that obviously contains some change along with the bills. 9/4/24
• 038. Ted Over Heels – 12/18/1971
  • Ted makes arrangements to appear on an early-morning program, so Mary receives a visit from Betty Bowerchuck (Arlene Golonka), who works with the show, to find out some basic questions about Ted. The oddest question is whether Ted would mind a pie in the face, which is how she finds out that the show on which Ted is going to appear is The Chuckles the Clown Show, and Betty is Chuckle’s daughter. There is an obvious and instant attraction between the two them, and Ted keeps taking roses off of Mary’s desk to sneak up and present to Betty. Lou keeps looking for Ted so that he can yell out him and take out his frustration after being yelled at by the station manager. Ted starts wearing a fake mustache until he can grow his own. When Mary tells Rhoda about all of this, she speculates that Ted is in love. While no one can believe this, all signs seem to point at it. Mary also notes that she and Rhoda saw Ted and Betty out to lunch, and Ted had her in the back corner like he didn’t want anyone to see them. Later, Betty visits with Mary and is very upset because Ted has told her that station rules are that no two employees can see each other romantically, so he doesn’t want any one to know that he is dating her. Mary invites Betty to come to her house for dinner, and then invites Ted to come as well. Lou remains annoyed because he has to go to a station meeting where they are discussing the research on audience reaction to Ted’s mustache. Ted comes early to the dinner to talk to Mary, and she questions why he told her about the fictional rule that he made up. He tells Mary that he really likes Betty, but is afraid of marriage, and is especially embarrassed that if they got married, Chuckles the Clown would be his father-in-law. He then admits that the real reason he is afraid to advance their relationship is that he is afraid that she might dump him and cause him to look silly in front of others. Mary tells Ted that she has been hurt in relationships before, and she has recovered just fine. Ted realizes that he could tell her that she loves him, and he might not get hurt, but if he does, he can always recover. He vows to tell her that he loves her as soon as she shows up. After accidentally telling Rhoda that he loves her when she shows up at Mary’s. he finally faces Betty and is able to tell her that he thinks she is wonderful and that he really likes her. He then gives her a kiss and is able to choke out the words “I love you.” The next day at work, Lou wants to speak to Ted again after getting the report back on his mustache. He says that 10% of the public do not like his mustache… and then tells him that the other 90% aren’t even watching the show. Ted says he doesn’t care because other like it, but as he goes through everyone one-by-one, he finds out that no one likes it, not even Betty who finds it scratchy. He has her make him an appointment with the barber to get it shaved off. 9/4/24

This entry was posted on Monday, March 27th, 2000 at 4:51 pm and is filed under Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.