The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – FOX

Created by Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner, and Mark Brazill

Theme song: “In the Street” by Alex Chilton and Chris Bell, originally performed by Big Star, sang by Todd Griffin

• 001. That ’70s Pilot – 8/23/1998
  • In Point Place, Wisconsin, on May 17, 1976, high-schooler Eric Forman (Topher Grace) sits in his basement with his friend Michael Kelso (Ashton Kusher), Steven Hyde (Danny Masterson), a foreign exchanges student who goes by the nickname Fez (Wilder Valderrama), Michaels on-again/off-again girlfriend Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis), and his next-door neighbor and long-time crush Donna Pinciotti (Laura Prepon). They discuss ways to get beer from their parents’, Red (Kurtwood Smith) and Kitty (Debra Jo Rupp), party upstairs. Also attending the party are Donna’s parents Bob (Don Stark) and Midge (Tanya Roberts). After successfully getting the beer, the kids plan a trip to Milwaukee to see the Todd Rundgren concert, and hope that Red will hand over his old Vista Cruiser to Eric before the trip. The kids hang out at the local restaurant and smoke marijuana in the basement of Eric’s house. Eric has to deal with the effects of the drug when Red does in fact give him the car… but warns him not to take the car out of town. The kids do so anyway, but wind up with a dead battery so they have to bribe Randy (Wayne Pere) at the repair station with two tickets to the show, so they trade Kelso and Jackie’s tickets. Although Michael and Jackie were about to break up, Jackie convinces him that he needs her and they stay together while hanging back in the car. After the concert, Donna kisses Eric while they hang out on top of the car in the driveway… assuring him that they will try another kiss later. Paul Kreppel is Jackie’s father. 6/4/18

• 002. Eric’s Birthday – 8/30/1998
  • As Eric’s seventeenth birthday approaches, Kitty is planning a surprise party for him, despite Eric’s pleas not to have one. Despite her efforts, it becomes more and more obvious what she is planning, especially when Eric’s sister Laurie (Lisa Robin Kelly) comes home from college for the weekend. Eric only asks one thing for his birthday: a cassette tape player for the Vista Cruiser, specifically pointing out that he doesn’t want an 8-track player. Donna tries to decide the perfect gift for the current place they’re in. Jackie suggests a scented candle and a seductive look. Meanwhile Kelso has the hots for Laurie and incorrectly assumes she feels the same. Laurie agrees to tell their parents that Eric is too old for a party if he loans her the car. However she only says this half-heartedly, and then Red demands that she take the Toyota instead, and he gives her plenty of gas money. When the time comes for the ‘surprise’ party, Eric is anything but… and is also disappointed that he receives an 8-track. Donna gives Eric the candle, but falters at the seductive look. However they nearly have their moment until Red returns from the Pinciottis with a very drunk Kitty. They sit outside while their friends wait in vain for them to kiss. 6/8/18
• 003. Streaking – 9/6/1998
  • Jackie’s father has arranged a whistle-stop visit to Point Place for President Gerald R. Ford (J.R. Ventimilia). Kitty is mostly concerned with making sure the house is nice and tidy, while Eric and his friends think it would be funny to streak during his speech… a thought put in their head when Principal Pridewell (Mark Bramhall) discourages protesting. Meanwhile Jackie’s father and Bob nominate Red to ask President Ford a question. At first he’s against it, then, angry about being laid off from his job, sees the opportunity to delivery a scathing question. When the other guys try to give Red their question relating to Ford’s favorite parade, he decides to protest and ask his question anyway. The boys get their trench coats and masks and head off to the parade. At the last minute the guys all get cold feet about streaking and decide against it. Donna reluctantly agrees to join her parents in jumpsuits making up the American flag when they stand side by side. When it comes time for Red to ask his question, he begins to struggle with what he will ask. Just at that moment, Eric dons his Nixon mask and streaks through the crowd. This gives Red confidence to ask Ford how he could possibly pardon Nixon. Eric escapes getting caught, although Red, who is clearly proud of Eric standing up for what he believes, lets Eric know that he looked ridiculous wearing black socks. John Maraffi is the masher who hits on Jackie. 12/10/18
• 004. Battle of the Sexists – 9/20/1998
  • Eric is mercilessly made fun of when Donna beats him in a game of driveway basketball. Jackie warns Donna that she better stop beating Eric or he won’t want to date her, and Donna’s mother agrees. Donna doesn’t heed their advice and slaughters Eric in a game of air hockey, making him visualize himself in a dress. Eric practices basketball, but then gets angry when Donna intentionally throws the next game, causing a blow up. Eventually they apologize to each other and get back to the game of basketball, which digresses into Donna jumping on top of him in a playful manner. Meanwhile Red is driving Kitty crazy by making unnecessary home improvements around the house, fixing things that don’t need fixed. Kitty intentionally damages the garage door to keep him away from her refrigerator. Red witnesses the pathetic game between Donna and Eric and has him do drills in the driveway. The guys do their darnedest to convince Kelso that he is whipped by Jackie, especially when he can’t get her off the phone so that he can go to the movies with Hyde and Fez. Kelso pretends he is going to be a man, but buckles and apologizes to her. However when he points out that he’s the only one ‘getting some’, the guys back off. 12/10/18 
• 005. Eric’s Burger Job – 9/27/1998
  • Realizing how expensive life can be, Eric decides to look for a job and gets his parents approval to do so. Meanwhile Donna’s parents are going to spend the weekend at the Playboy Club, and she hints around to Eric that they could spend some alone time together, although she has to watch her sister Tina (Amanda Fuller). Eric doesn’t get the hint, and Kelso steps in and plans a party at her house. All of the guys put in their application at Fatso Burger, which is owned by Jackie’s father, but the manager Ricky (Danny Bonaduce) only hires Eric. On the night of the party, Jackie expresses her displeasure with Kelso’s career prospects, but the conversation is abruptly ended when Kelso punctures Mr. and Mrs. Pinciatti’s water bed. Since Eric had to work, Donna becomes bored with the party, so Hyde encourages her to go see Eric, but he is adamant that his job needs to come first, much to Donna’s irritation. On his way home, Eric stops by Donna’s house, but is surprised to find that her parents have returned early. Eric tells his parents he wants to quit, and is surprised how well Red takes the news. NOTE: This is the only appearance of Donna’s sister, who is never mentioned again. 12/5/19
• 006. The Keg – 10/25/1998
  • With his teacher Mr. Pridwell (Mark Bramhall) fully trusting Eric’s word, Eric makes a rare decision to get him and Donna out of class to skip for the afternoon. As they drive off, they realize that Hyde and Kelso are already hiding out in the car. They also happen upon a full keg of beer in the middle of the road, and eventually make a decision to host a keg party in the empty swimming pool of one of Jackie’s mother’s (Eve Plumb) homes she is showing, much to the irritation of Jackie, who wanted alone-time with Kelso. Red and Bob pick up on some clues when the kids leave with ice and cups and leave Kitty and Midge behind to get drunk and watch Rich Man, Poor Man while they go in pursuit of the kids. Meanwhile the kids realize they have no tap, so Kelso heads to a liquor store and slyly purchases one from the clerk Art (Christopher Michael Moore), who informs him that he doesn’t need to be legal age to buy a top… only to have it broken in half by the class bullies Destroy (Chris McKenna) and Giveback (Nicklaus Lange). Eric then agrees to steal his father’s tap and heads out. Red and Bob work their way toward Art, and find a fellow teen named Jake (Glen Beaudin), who tips them off to the location. Just after Jackie’s mother shows up to show off the house and finds the kids all in the pool, Eric returns with the tap only to find his father, Bob, and the police there. Although punishment awaits, Eric is just pleased to have impressed Donna. Bob and Red end up getting drunk with the cops in the pool, including one cop (Michael James Read) who finds Donna hot. 12/6/19
• 007. That Disco Episode – 11/8/1998
  • Jackie announces that there is a discotheque opening up in Kenosha, and the girls want to go. Kelso agrees to go, but plans to break up with Jackie and look for Kenosha girls, Eric merely want to go to be with Donna, and Hyde refuses to go because he hates disco. Red however gets it out of Hyde that he can’t dance, so he offers Kitty’s services in teaching him. Bob spots Kitty and Hyde dancing and he and Midge think they are having an affair. Midge tries to bring this up with Kitty, but she misses the point. Bob brings it up with Red, and Red has fun with Bob by plotting to kill Hyde with his rifle. Finally Bob suggests that they may have merely been dancing. At the disco, Fez and Jackie burn up the dance floor and wind up going out to the Vista Cruiser to talk. Kelso, despite being ready to break up with Jackie, attacks Fez and holds him upside-down while he and Jackie make up. When Donna mentions wanting to dance, Hyde quickly gets her on the dance floor. He tells her that he’d really like to kiss her, and although she is tempted, she diverts him back to dancing. Back at home, Fez and Kelso chat about the fact that Fez could have taken Jackie, but couldn’t do that to a friend. Eric seems a little jealous of her dancing with Hyde and admits that he doesn’t know how to dance. They kiss for a bit, and then Donna drags him into some driveway dancing as they sing Fernando. Meanwhile the guys decide to record their own conversation when they smoke marijuana, but when they play it back, it makes very little sense to them. 3/31/20
• 008. Drive In – 11/15/1998
  • When Kelso points out that The Omen is playing at the drive-in, Eric decides to ask Donna, and she reluctantly agrees to go. She is worried about making out in a seedy public place, so she asks Jackie to bring Kelso along so they can be a buffer. Eric on the other hand wants Kelso to stay away, because he doesn’t think he can keep up with him and Jackie. Donna wins out and Jackie forces Kelso to go. They wind up making out the entire time, while Donna and Eric are so uncomfortable that they end up laying on the car hood to watch the movie. Then they join in with the making out until Donna rolls off the car, much to the cheers of everyone. Meanwhile Kitty fills out a quiz in Cosmopolitan and thinks she and Red are spontaneous enough. They plan to go out to eat at Phillie’s, but at the last minute Red changes it up to the fancier Lion’s Head restaurant. The get dressed up, but when they arrived, the hostess (Kari Bowman) informs them that the Lion’s Head has burned down, and they are now standing in Brannigan’s, which is more of a sports bar, and enrages Red when they have to get their own salad from the salad bar. They storm out and head over to Phillie’s after all. On the way, Kitty admits that as hard as they tried, they have flattened out and are just a boring, old couple. Red slams on the brakes and they pull over to make out. A cop (Scott Haven) tries to get them to move on, but when he finds out that they are adults and Red snaps at him, he backs off and they continue. Red is relaxed at home, and proud of Eric when he returns home not knowing how the movie ends. Fez’s host parents Matthew (Kevin Farley) and Rebecca Erdman (Shannon Holt) are worried about the friends that Fez is keeping, and shows them the backward masking on his KISS Destroyer LP. Fez becomes paranoid of the devil as well, but Hyde convinces him to keep listening, but to hide their rock albums in easy listening record sleeves. Drew Ebersole is Guy the waiter, and Alex Nevil is the singing waiter. 3/31/20
• 009. Thanksgiving – 11/22/1998
  • Laurie returns home for the Thanksgiving holiday and brings her attractive friend Kate (Jenny Maguire) with her, and Eric naturally becomes instantly attracted to her, made all the more combustible as she constantly flirts with him. She sleeps in his room while he takes the couch, but one night while grabbing clothes she invites him in an makes out with him, then promptly tells him to leave. Despite his friends’ warnings to keep it a secret, he feels too guilty not to tell Donna. She is naturally furious with him and won’t speak to him, and joining in her anger are Midge and Red. Meanwhile Kitty obsesses over Red’s mother coming for the holiday dinner. She continually calls and irritates Kitty, constantly reminding her to pick her up. She assigned the task to Laurie and Eric, but as they sit down for dinner, they realize that no one has gotten her.  when her family and their friends come for Thanksgiving dessert after dinner. Eric’s friends and all of the Pinciattis come back to the Formans’ house for Thanksgiving dessert. When Donna still won’t speak to him, Eric follows her back to her house and begs for forgiveness and tells her that no matter how much he enjoyed the kiss, he would take it back if he could because it’s not worth losing what he has with Donna. She finally forgives him and they make out using tongue like he had with Kate. Meanwhile Kitty obsesses over Red’s mother coming for the holiday dinner. She continually calls and irritates Kitty, constantly reminding her to pick her up. She assigned the task to Laurie and Eric, but as they sit down for dinner, they realize that no one has gotten her. 7/11/20
• 010. Sunday Bloody Sunday – 11/29/1998
  • The gang hangs out shooting baskets in Eric’s driveway on a Saturday night. Jackie leaves early to go home, prompting Kelso to commit to breaking up with her, while Eric says he’s putting off his 1000-word report on the three branches of government until Sunday. However the next morning they find out that they will be responsible for taking Red’s mother Bernice (Marion Ross) to church and keeping her for the day since his brother Paul broke his ankle. Eric volunteers to take charge of taking care of her for the day so Kitty doesn’t get too stressed out and start smoking again, even though it means not being able to get to his term paper. Hyde surmises that Eric wants to maintain peace so that he can have a ‘Hallmark Family’. His friends agree to help him write the paper so he can take care of her. Jackie even thinks she has the same paper at home that she did the previous year and got an A. Donna won’t let Hyde break up with her until she gets the paper, so he joins her in looking for it and they wind up spending all of their time all over each other, coming back without the paper since she realizes it was actually on the food groups. Hyde is way off base with the subject matter so Donna tries to retrieve their encyclopedias but only finds three of the volumes. Eric continues to try and keep the peace even if it means rubbing his grandmother’s feet, but fortunately for him Fez takes delight in doing it for him. She enjoys Fez so much that by the time they take her back home, she is in a great mood. Eric is irritated that none of his friends helped him and he is forced to stay up until all hours of the night to complete the paper. Kitty comes down and has a cigarette and tells him that his grandmother never liked her because she stole Red away from an attractive girl that his mom adored. Eric refers to his grandmother as a bitch, but Kitty can only laugh. Joseph G. Modalis is the pastor. 7/12/20
• 011. Eric’s Buddy – 12/6/1988
  • Eric begins hanging out with his school lab partner Buddy Morgan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a rich kid who drives a Trans Am that greatly impresses Eric. This however leaves Hyde and Kelso stranded in the cold at school when Eric is supposed to pick him up. Jackie sees this as a tremendous endeavor for Eric to jump to another click, while Hyde is simply resentful of the new rich guy. Buddy and Eric start to become inseparable, but one day when Eric has trouble quantifying his relationship with Donna, Buddy takes this as a cue that Eric might be gay so he tries to kiss him. Eric returns to his basement and immediately kisses Donna, and also finds that Fez has suspected that Buddy was gay all along. He finally admits to Hyde and Donna that Buddy had made a pass at him. At school the next day, Eric tells Buddy that they are still friends, but asks why Buddy hit on him. His only reasoning was that Eric was smart, witty, and cute…to which Eric can only agree. Meanwhile, Red has trouble making commissions at work selling Bob’s appliances, usually because he pushes customers too hard to tell him what they want. After some tutoring from Kitty, he realizes that most ladies are only interested in the color of the item, so he starts to make all of the decisions for them, and thus begins making sales. Mitch Hedberg is Frank, the proprietor of the Hub. Wendy Worthington and Julie Claire are Red’s customers, the first unsuccessful, the second successful. 10/27/20
• 012. The Best Christmas Ever – 12/13/1998
  • With Christmas approaching and Laurie home, Eric asks if he can host his own Christmas party in the basement on Christmas Eve while the adults have their traditional party with Red’s mother and Pinciottis upstairs. Red surprisingly says yes, and even give Eric the opportunity to make some money for his party, by giving him $40 to buy a tree and telling him that he can keep the extra. Although Red suggests that Eric haggle, he and his friends end up cutting down a tree by the  Interstate to bring home. Meanwhile Bob asks Red to work at the hardware stores on Christmas Eve, and Red accepts. The guys all try to figure out what gifts to get for their girls, and Hyde especially wants to get something nice for Donna, and continuously flirts with her. Kelso winds up being Red’s only customer and buys her some hair rollers after playing Pong with Red for a while. Jackie makes Kelso take her and her goody-goody friends Lisa (Sarah Hawkins), Jenny (Heidi Marshall), and Tracy (Megan Paul) to deliver gifts to the needy. Laurie spikes the punch that Kitty provides with rum. Only the goody girls drink the punch because they don’t want beer, and wll wind up drunk and flirt with Fez. In her drunken state, Jackie is overly grateful for her rollers and also tells Donna that Hyde is in love with her. Hyde gives Donna a framed photo them together when they were kids, which really touches her. Eric is naturally jealous and quickly gives her the perfume that he bought for her, but still laments that his gift wasn’t as good as Hyde’s. He is gratified however when she gives him an engraved ID bracelet, and only gives Hyde tube sock. A patrolman (Matt McKenzie) arrives and confiscates the tree since it is state property. Red goes downstairs in a rage, finds everyone with beer, and four drunk girls he needs to take home. 10/29/20
• 013. Ski Trip – 1/17/1999
  • The gang is getting ready to drive up to Jackie’s parents’ cabin for a ski trip, but word gets back to Jackie that Kelso has made out with Pam Macy at school. She breaks it off with him and tells him that he can’t go on the trip. When the other guys hear that Jackie’s parents won’t be there, they quickly abandon Kelso so they can all still go. Red gives Eric an emergency kit in case of any weather issues, and sure enough, Eric slides off the road. He has to conjure an imaginary Red to remind him what to do with the gum, candle, and kitty litter. Eventually they make it to the cabin, and Fez immediately gets drunk on a bottle of Amaretto. Back home Kelso sulks in the Forman basement, furious that Eric abandoned him. Kitty tells him that Red once made out with a girl named Lynn Taylor in the movie theater, but she forgave him, and then encourages Kelso to go to the ski lodge and make up with Jackie. However, she is now thinking of Red with Lynn Taylor and dashes Red’s hopes of  a romantic evening by giving him the cold shoulder. Kelso gets a ride with a trucker named Gus (Nick Bakay) who lusts over an oblivious Kelso. Jackie can’t stop crying about Kelso, and Hyde won’t even attempt to cheer her up. He is more interested in hitting on Donna, and she has to tell him to stop. He confesses he can’t stop thinking about her, and gives her a kiss, which earns a slap in return. Eric has to go look for a drunken Fez who is drunk and running around in his underwear. Kelso finally makes Gus feel guilty about objectifying him, and gets dropped off at the cabin, where he and Eric make up. Kelso also makes up with Jackie as soon as he enters the cabin. Red and Kitty make up also, and she ask him to take her to the theater, so for once, she can be the one he gropes. Donna assures Eric that she’ll never cheat on him like Kelso did on Jackie. 2/15/21
• 014. Stolen Car – 1/24/1999
  • Eric scratches the Vista Cruiser when he hits a fire hydrant because Kelso is giving him a purple nurple. Red finds it right away, and grounds Eric from the car. Donna and Jackie bond while talking about sex, and Jackie shares her fantasy for a perfect romantic encounter for her first time with Kelso. Meanwhile, Midge wants to take night classes about female empowerment, but Bob is resistant to letting her go, but she defies him and attends anyway. Kelso borrows his cousin Sully’s car, and he and the boys go joy-riding… until they get pulled over because it turns out it is a stolen car. Eric thinks that as usual, he will be the only one who feels the ramifications of the arrest. Kelso calls Jackie for help, but she is more enamored by the fact that he is in the joint, and promises to show him her love for him when he gets out. Eric is again irritated that he has to save the day, so he asks to speak to Officer Rost (Chip Heller), and begs and whines for him to let him them out. The cop scoffs at him, until his partner (Jim O’Doherty) verifies that the car was indeed reporting stolen by Kelso’s cousin’s grandmother. They are all let out of the clink, and Eric is the hero. Kitty tells Red that he’s being too hard on Eric, and even though Red wants to prepare him for the hard world, Kitty thinks his home should be more of a safe haven from that very world. Red doesn’t know what to say to Eric, but he gives him back his keys. Donna is irritated with her father’s attitude about the classes, so Bob tells Midge that he’s happy that she got to do something she wanted. However, he again balks when he realizes that she’ll be attending more classes. Jackie has Kelso over to sleep with him, and gives him fifteen minutes before her parents get home. 2/16/21
• 015. That Wrestling Show – 2/7/1999
  • When Eric and Red have a showdown about returning books to the library, Kitty criticizes Red for simply barking orders at Eric, versus the way he actually speaks to Laurie. When Eric mentions that he and his friends are going to Kenosha for the WWF wrestling matches, Kitty suggests that Red go along as well. Meanwhile next door, Midge has decided to see a therapist (Jim Turner) because she doesn’t feel fulfilled. Bob is reluctant to let her go, but ultimately gives in. Since he has nothing to do that night, he hints to Red that he’d like to go to the matches as well. Jackie has been falling all over Kelso since they slept together, doing all of his bidding. Donna calls her out on it, and then makes her realize that Kelso will also want to do it again, and that she actually has the upper hand. The next time Kelso barks an order at her, she retaliates by forcing him to go get them drinks at the arena. Bob wants to tell his woes to Fez and Hyde, but they won’t listen to him unless he buys them beer… and eventually he does. Initially thinking that the wrestling matches were fake, Red starts to have a good time when he and Eric shout down one wrestler (Ken Shamrock), and the force their way back stage to get an autograph of Rocky Johnson (Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock), despite Rocky’s manager (Ernie Ladd) telling him no autographs. When Eric and Red get home, they admit that they had a great time together. Midge talks Kitty and Laurie into going to one of her group sessions, but after Kitty unloads on her disgust with Laurie’s behavior, the therapists directs everyone to pair off together as the guys start to remove their clothes, causing the three ladies to promptly leave. Midge looks to go to another therapist (Chris Hogan), but he invites her to go to a party. Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy are other uncredited wrestlers. 6/12/21
• 016. First Date – 2/14/1999
  • Although Hyde had made plans to study with Donna at the library, Eric asks her out for their first dinner date at the Vineyard that same night since it is Valentine’s Day, and she naturally accepts Eric’s offer. Eric tells the other that he plans to give her his class ring. Jackie says she can get her father’s car that night, and Kelso suggests they ditch Hyde and Fez so they can be alone. Bob and Midge and Red and Kitty make a fuss over their kids’ first date with each other, and they decide to all get together that night for fondue and to discuss their kids’ future. They end up struggling through the fondue dinner and burning themselves, and then struggle even worse through a recitation from Midge, that winds up a romantic overture to Bob. After they leave, Red remarks how strange they’ve gotten ever since they’ve latched on to all of the latest fads, noting that he and Kitty are still ‘classic’. After Jackie takes Kelso shopping for clogs all evening, he wants to have sex again, but she declines. He gets frustrated and says ‘fine’ – leading Jackie to think that he’s okay with it. Once he agrees, that he’s okay with not having sex, she tells him they can do it again. Still, once they are done, he is spooked by her talk of being together ‘forever.’ The waiter (Dino Meminger) accidentally brings Donna a long island iced tea and she gets blitzed. Eric struggles to keep her under control, while she wants to go under the table. Fez suggests to Hyde that if he doesn’t tell Donna how he truly has feelings for her, he’ll not get another chance. He decides to go to the Vinayard and tell her, but when he arrives she is so drunk, she barely understands what he is saying. Eric returns from getting Donna coffee, while Donna runs off to be sick. Eric tells Hyde that he’s better be gone before Donna is through. Hyde boxes up their dinner and leaves, later apologizing to Eric. He forgives Hyde, but warns him that if they ever break up and Hyde dates her, they won’t be friends any longer. 6/12/21
• 017. The Pill – 2/21/1999
  • Jackie comes over to Eric’s place to talk to Donna, but since she’s not there, Jackie tells Eric her big news… she’s pregnant. Eric then tells Donna as soon as he sees her. Donna catches up with Jackie at the Hub and confronts her about it, and Jackie expresses how scared she is. By this time, Eric has told Kelso, and he’s passed out on the floor. Meanwhile, Laurie has come home for Spring Break in order to try and intercept the mail with her grades in it. Donna tells her mother about Jackie being pregnant, and how scared it has made her. So she orders birth control pills for Donna, which come in at the drug store, where Donna’s father has come in to pick up cough medicine. Eric is also there at the time picking up photos, and when he sees the pills, he runs out to get away from Bob. Kelso decides to do the right thing and stand by Jackie and be a father. Bob worries about Donna, and imagines an ephemeral film called Open for Business narrated by Gary Owens (himself). Eric tires to expose what Laurie is doing, so Laurie blurts out that Donna is on the film. Eric tries to assure his parents that he hasn’t done anything, but Red attacks him and tells Eric to keep his hands off of Donna. Bob confronts Midge about Donna taking the pill, and she reminds him that he got her pregnant before they were married. Jackie finds out that she isn’t pregnant after all, and excitedly rushes to tell Donna. She then tells Jackie that she went on the pill, but that she did it so she didn’t get trapped in Point Place. Jackie then tells Kelso she’s not pregnant, and then breaks it off with Kelso because she doesn’t want him standing in the way of her dream of becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Eric and Donna then chat, and he tells her he’s ready to have sex right now, and keeps asking her jokingly. Red then comes out and douses him with a hose. The Forman and the Pinciatti adults play an intense game of cards together. Mark Ankeny is the pharmacist. Jill Spurgeon is the girl in the bathroom whose lines were edited from the episode. 10/10/21
• 018. Career Day – 2/28/1999
  • Career Day is coming up, which gives the kids the opportunity to visit their parents where work. Eric has already told his mother that he wants to go with her to follow her day working as a nurse at the hospital. Red tries to use Eric to help him to fix the carburetor, but he is barely able to manage holding the flashlight. He then lowers the bomb that he’s going with his mother since Red only works a half-day. After meeting the nurses in her station, Nurse Thomas (Trista Delamere aka T.D. Mitchell) and Nurse Philips (Linda Wallem), he goes on the rounds with Kitty and sees her get yelled at by Dr. Ashley (Steve Ireland), helps deliver a baby, and finds out that one of the patients who she liked died that day. Meanwhile, Hyde takes Fez to meet his mother ‘Gross’ Edna (Katey Sagal), who works at the lunch lady at the school. Kelso visits with his father John (Francis Guinan) who works at a firm as a Senior Executive Statistical Analysis Technician, which Kelso doesn’t understand and his father is unable to explain. So Kelso just writes in his report that his father is a farmer. Donna has a tough time taking her father seriously as he is running a circus event at this shop, complete with clowns and midgets, to promote a sale. However, Donna comes to have more respect with him, when he explains how everything he does at work is to give Donna a better life. Jackie roams over to Red’s while he is fixing the car, and she ends up helping him with the car. He is impressed with how well she handles a flashlight, and comes to believe that she’s the only one in the group who isn’t useless. Fez interviews Edna, and she admits that she was once a waterskiing performer, and it leads to a fight between Hyde and her about what a terrible mother she was. Hyde wanders over to Red’s and laments the situation with his mother, and Red helps diagnose their relationship by the episodes of Donahue he’s been watching during his half-days. Eric can’t understand how his mother stays sane from her hard days, and as they sing together on the way home, he realizes why she stays in her perpetual state of bliss. Hyde returns to the lunchroom, and his mother starts to leave them to finish the work, but then offers to get Hyde a beer. They all go back to Eric’s and write their reports, Kelso talking about farming and how he and his father picked carrots off of the trees. 10/10/21
• 019. Prom Night – 3/7/1999
  • With prom night coming up, Eric is talked by Hyde into renting a motel room for the night, although he wants it to appear to be more spontaneous if Donna and he decide to have sex. Kelso gets a date with Pam Macy (Jennifer Lyons), mostly to make Jackie jealous. When she hears who he is taking, she is inconsolable and asks Hyde to take her to the prom. Although he thinks it goes against his style, he agrees to take her when she starts crying. Fez plans to go stag but the to dance with his teacher Ms. Diane Kaminsky (Grey DeLisle aka Grey Griffin), but she keeps turning him down. Another teacher named Mrs. Clark (Gloria Gaynor) tries to cheer him up and dedicates a song to him and performs I Will Survive. When Hyde shows up at the prom with Jackie, Kelso is furious with him, but Hyde tells her that she was crying, and since it so obvious they want to be with each other, they need to get back together. Hyde happily agrees to take care of Pam, and invites her to the back seat of his car. Eric and Donna start talking about where they could go after the prom, and Eric admits he got a motel, but didn’t tell her so that they could be spontaneous. They head to the motel, but when a kid named Timmy (Paul Connor) follow them and cheer for Eric, then make excessive noise outside their room, they both admit that they were having fun at the prom and decide to return. Fez winds up dancing with Ms. Kaminsky, and then asks Eric if he and she can take his motel room. She is adamant that she won’t go to a motel with him, but Fez reminds her that she had said she wouldn’t dance with him either. Back home, Midge is bored and wants to take a job where she can be her own boss. Her idea is to open a greeting card store, but Bob suggests that she have a baby and leave him alone, causing her to storm out. 4/6/22
• 020. A New Hope – 3/14/1999
  • The kids drive to Kenosha to see Star Wars, and Eric can hardly talk about anything else. With Jackie back in his life, Kelso wants to keep going back to see Star Wars, and shows little interest in her. However, Laurie is ‘bored’ and wants to mess around with Kelso again, so she acts like a fan of the movie, which leads to Kelso being tempted and making out with her again. Red gets some good news when his old boss Millbank returns to town and re-opens the auto parts plant, sending Red back to his full-time job. Millbank wants his son David (Scott Whyte) to come hang out with Eric. Donna and Eric both think he is creepy, and Eric laughingly recalls beating him up in school, despite the fact that David had scoliosis and asthma. When they see David, both Eric and Donna are surprised to see that David has grown out of his awkwardness. In fact Eric feels threatened and suddenly becomes territorial with Donna. David takes an interest in Donna’s writing and they start spending time together. Eric both yells at Donna and tells her she is being naïve, and then asks Red to teach him how to fight. Red gives some practical advise, while Bob joins in by telling Eric to hit him with a banjo. Eric has a dream that he is Luke Skywalker, Red is Obi-Wan, Kelso is Chewbacca, Donna is Princess Leia, Fez and Jackie are stormtroopers, and David is Darth Vader. When he wakes up, he goes to fight David, but Donna yells at Eric and tells her that David isn’t interested in her. David corrects her and tells her that he most certainly is interested, and this is why they have been spending time together. Donna storms off, but not before telling Eric that he didn’t trust her. Eric and David bond over the fact that they’ve both faced girls who just want to be ‘friends’. However, when David tells him that they will be leaving soon, and his father only came back to sell down the inventory, Eric punches him anyway. He goes home to tell Red the bad news, but when he sees how happy he and Kitty are, he can’t bring himself to do it. Laurie proudly tells Eric that she made out with Kelso, and Eric tells her the bad news about Red’s job. 4/6/22
• 021. The Water Tower – 6/14/1999
  • The gang paints a pot leaf on the water tower, but Hyde thinks it looks like the middle finger. When Kelso tries to fix it, he falls of the water tower and breaks his arm, concurring from the ground that it does look like a middle finger. Eric tries to wake up his mother to treat his arm, but when he walks in on his parents, they are having sex. Eric has a hard time getting over it, unable to stop seeing them naked every time he looks at them, and having recurring nightmares of what he saw. With the way Eric is behaving, his parents start to believe he is on drugs. He finally confesses what he saw to Laurie, and she is surprisingly sympathetic and tells him that he will recover. Kelso gets his arm put in a cast at the hospital, and Jackie manages to convince him that the whole things was Hyde’s fault. Eric can’t even stand for his friends to talk about sex, and when Donna tries to put the moves on him, he is not interested. He finally confesses to her as well, and she tells him about the time she was twelve and caught her parents doing it in the outdoor hammock in broad daylight. This helps make him feel better. His parents question him about the drugs, but he flatly denies it, then realizes he’d rather take the rap for drugs rather than tell them what he really saw. Laurie steps in and tells them the truth. Eric finally gives them his blessing, and Red makes sure that he’s learned his lesson: to always knock. He thinks it is funny, but Kitty reminds him how he would like it if he would have walked in on his own parents, which he doesn’t find funny. When Kelso gets out of the hospital, he demands an apology from Hyde, who tells him he is acting like a girl and reminds him how Kelso laughed at him when he fell out of the treehouse at Kelso’s house and then got bit by Kelso’s dog. The two reconcile, and Hyde apologizes anyway, but Jackie thinks they’re both idiots. Fez later tries to fix the pot leaf on the water tower by himself, and also falls off. From the ground he still thinks it looks like the middle finger. Gary Owens is the narrator of Eric’s National Geographic fantasy. 8/6/22
• 022. Punk Chick – 6/21/1999
  • Hyde meets a girl named Chrissy (Jade Gordon) at the Hub dressed in black leather, a self-proclaimed anarchist traveling to New York to start a punk rock band. She and Hyde hit is off immediately, and they travel around town on her Vespa, and then spend the night at her motel. Before long, Hyde announces that he is going to go to New York with her. Meanwhile, Eric keeps taking Donna to a make-out point and then struggling to get her bra off. After a few times, she gets tired of it and finally asks him to take her back home. Hyde gets tired of being so good at Pong, so he decides to take Red’s computer and try to make the paddles smaller. He does this by taking it apart, and soon Red catches him and then joins him in his quest. Jackie works with Kitty to bake a pie for a grade in Home Ec. Jackie is distracted by her break-up with Kelso and keeps letting the pie burn. Eventually Kitty tells Jackie that she’ll make the filling and the crust, while Jackie can make her a drink. Red and Kitty both have a talk with Hyde to try and persuade him that New York is not a good place for a seventeen-year-old, but he refuses to listen to them. Eric also tells Hyde that they need him there to help the group do wild things like paint a pot leaf on the water tower. He also gives Eric advice on how to get Donna’s bra off. On his next date with Donna, he surprises her and tells her that he only wants to talk… and then apologizes if he made her feel uncomfortable. She tells him that she wants to fool around, but that it may soon lead to going all the way, but it now scares her after she has seen what happened with Kelso and Jackie. She also tells him that on this night she isn’t wearing a bra. Hyde ultimately tells Chrissy that he’s not going to go with her. She gives him the number of her friend she’ll be staying with in New York, but then leaves town with another guy on her bike. Kelso and Red are successful in their quest. Red notes that this will be the wave of the future. Kelso assumes he’s talking about home computers, but Red is actually talking about soldering. NOTE: This episode aired out of sequence, and should have aired before Prom Night, which causes inconsistencies in the series overall plot points concerning Kelso and Jackie’s break-up and the painting of the water tower. 8/6/22
• 023. Grandma’s Dead – 7/12/1999
  • The Forman family has Red’s mother over for dinner, and she spends the evening criticizing Kitty and complaining about Eric’s home life. Red has Eric drive her home, and along the way Eric calls her out for picking on his mother all day. After he calls her nasty and tells her that it wouldn’t killer to be nice for a day, Bernice Forman drops dead in the car. Eric takes her back home and starts playing basketball until Donna comes over and convinces him to tell his parents. Eric finally builds up his courage to tell them, and Red criticizes him for letting her fall out of the car when he opened the door. Hyde comes and gets Eric and the guys head out to a bar to drink. Hyde gives the waitress Sally (Mary Pat Dowhy) a fake ID and tells her that they’re all with military. Two sisters named Charlotte (Jessica Meyerson) and Charlene (Buckley Sampson) try to pick the guys up, but their boyfriends come over and tell them that the girls came with them. Eric picks a fight with the biggest guy (Kevin McClatchy) and gets punched in the face, leading two a rumble with all of them. Eric comes home with a black eye, so Red gives him a beer. Kitty tries to keep her mind off of things by constantly cooking. Red’s brother Marty (Pat Skipper) comes in for the funeral, but he drives Red crazy by constantly wanting to share feelings with Red. At the funeral, everyone pays their final respects to Grandma… until Red has to tell the funeral director (Earl Bullock) that her eyes are open in the casket. Jackie and Kelso sneak away to have sex at the funeral home. Eric apologizes for not wanting to tell Red what he said to his grandmother before she died but admits that he is still repressing it. Each of the kids offer their condolences to Red. After the funeral, Red starts going through his mother’s things and finds the old train set that he shared with his brother. Marty sees that Red wants the train, but he wants Red to admit that he’d like to have the, but Red can’t bring himself to share any emotion whatsoever, so Marty takes the train. Eventually, he leaves the trains at Red’s house anyway, and Red enjoys running them in the living room. Red finally is able to talk with Eric about some of the nice things his mother did, but laments the fact that he didn’t say anything nice to her before she left. Eric then tells Red the last words he said to her, causing Red to break out laughing. Kitty runs out of eggs and flour and finally lets out her emotions. Red and Eric join her in a big family hug, which Laurie doesn’t want to interrupt. 12/2/22
• 024. Hyde Moves In – 7/19/1999
  • While driving around town, Kelso gets the idea to go skinny dipping in the reservoir. Once they all agree, they wind up getting their clothes stolen so they have to drive back to Hyde’s house naked. Eric realizes that Hyde’s mother Edna has run off with a trucker and isn’t likely to come back. Eric keeps inviting him to stay for dinner, while Red laments the fact that layoffs are coming, and he is already skating by the skin of his teeth financially. Meanwhile, Jackie gets sick from the swim, and doesn’t want Kelso to see her in her present condition without makeup. He convinces that he only wants to see her because she’s his girlfriend and he’s brought her a stuffed animal gift. However, when he sees her, she looks so bad to him that he pictures her as a man (Carlos Alazraqui) with stringy hair and then screams in her face. Over at the Pinciatti house, Midge is having a Woman Warrior feminist group meeting at the house. Bob stays in the kitchen eating a sandwich when one of the ladies, Sharon Singer (Carolyn Hennessy) come in and starts flirting with him. The next time, Bob dresses in a suit and they continue to flirt. Eventually Donna walks in on them, and when she sees her father all dressed up, she questions the reason. Bob gets really defensive and makes excuses without her even asking. Eric later overhears Hyde at his house speaking to his mother, and then throwing the phone across the room. Eric starts questioning what Hyde is going to do. He talks to their friends, but they are too stoned to register the information. He then talks to his parents, but Red doesn’t want to get involved because of his tight money situation. Kitty insists they go check on him, and they find the house in a disaster. Red still doesn’t want to get involved, but when Kitty suggests calling Social Services, Red final orders Hyde to get his things together and get in their car. Kelso apologizes to Jackie for his reaction but tells her that he knows she’ll eventually look better, especially after he sees how good her mother looks. He still won’t kiss her, but she understands. Hyde keeps yelling at Eric for getting involved in his life when he had all of the freedom he ever needed at home. However, he doesn’t seem to mind when Kitty serves him hot cocoa and cookies. 12/2/22
• 025. The Good Son – 7/29/1999
  • Eric is excited to have Hyde living with him, especially when Hyde starts to volunteer to do Eric’s chores. When Red then pays Hyde for his work and leaves Eric empty-handed, Eric starts to resent him for making Eric look bad. The other kids also start to get annoyed with Hyde when he starts taking his studying seriously after Kitty cares enough to lecture him when he gets bad grades. Meanwhile, Donna’s parents are constantly fighting, and Donna starts to worry that it is serious enough that it could lead to divorce. Red’s old Army buddy Bull (Mitch Pileggi) stops by for a visit and invites Red and Kitty over to check out their hot tub. He also offers to hire Red to come work with him if he can’t find a job soon. Red is envious enough with Bull’s Corvette that he starts to question his life choices of having kids. Eric starts to thing that his parents like Hyde more than him and imagines his scenario as an ephemeral film, narrated by Gary Owens (himself). Bull and his wife Joy (Arlene Pileggi aka Arlene Warren) throw a party and invite Red and Kitty, as well as the Pinciattis. It is while Red is trying to talk about working for Bull that it becomes obvious that they are attending a key party. Red is disappointed and they walk out of the party, Red telling Bull that he thought he knew him better than that. Eric and his friends all come down on Hyde for becoming boring and making Eric look bad. Eric demands that the return to his old ways and do something stupid and senseless. When Hyde says he’s grateful to have a home and refuses, so Eric takes it upon himself to do something stupid himself. He bounces a bowling ball off the couch to see how high it will go, and it winds up going through the TV. When Red comes home and finds it, Hyde tries to take the blame, but Eric won’t let him. Red tells them that he doesn’t care who did it, but between the two of them, they will make enough money to replace it with an even better TV. Red is upset mostly by the fact that his friend Bull is a freak-o pervert and is rich and successful. Kitty makes him feel better by showing him that she has his keys. 5/18/23

SEASON 2

• 026. Garage Sale – 9/28/1999
  • After Hyde tells Eric that it is a make out movie, Eric is anxious to go to see The Goodbye Girl with Donna, but Red insists that he and Hyde help out with their garage sale. Kitty suggests that Hyde might sell lemonade, cookies, or brownies, and he initially refuses… until he remembers what he could put in the brownies. He makes some with marijuana and some without, much to Eric’s irritation and warning that something could go wrong. Sure enough, Red, Kitty, Bob, and Midge take a batch of brownies from the oven and split the pan among themselves. Hyde realizes he doesn’t have the right amount of money as if a pan of brownies went missing and go upstairs to find them eating the pot brownies. High as kites, the parents all go around the table talking and giggling. During all of this, someone comes to the door who Red identifies as Peter Cottontail and offers to buy the Vista Cruiser for $200, and Red sells it to him. Meanwhile at the movies, Fez can’t stop thinking of Jackie after she tells him that he’s funny. When she starts to grab popcorn from the tub on top of his lap, he takes a chance and kisses her passionately while Kelso is asleep on the other side of her. Kelso wakes up and slugs Fez in the face. Later, Jackie confesses to Donna that it is the best kiss that she’s ever had since Fez somehow rolled his tongue like he does when he speaks. Donna becomes hellbent on trying a similar kiss on Eric. However, when she gets there, Eric is too busy yelling at Hyde for causing his father to sell his car. Red can barely speak to Eric and Hyde without seeing the wall move behind them, but eventually realizes he can find the person he sold it to by looking at his name on the check. The guys force Red to go along with them to visit the man. They only end up talking to his daughter Tammy Sue (Lynsey Bartilson), whose father bought the car for her. She hates it, so she gives them the key back and takes the check. Fez apologizes for kissing Jackie but says that she was coming on to him. Kelso tells him that he and Jackie have a real bond, but Fez reminds him of all of the girls with whom Kelso cheats on her. Fez calls him a whore, which Kelso takes as an apology. Donna finds it hilarious that Red is stoned until Eric tells her that her parents are to. She then gives him the tongue trilling kiss, which causes Eric to jump her bones immediately. 5/22/23
• 027. Red’s Last Day – 10/5/1999
  • Kelso is given a new van by his uncle, which he thinks is a perfect place to have sex. Meanwhile, Kitty is nervous how Red is going to react as he prepares for his last day of work. Everyone walks on eggshells that morning at breakfast, but Red tells them not to worry because everything will be great. Kelso shows Jackie the van, but she thinks it is horrible and refuses to be seen in it. Kelso imagines that his van is a great place for Kelso After Dark, where he hangs out with a pair of models as well as Lyle Waggoner (himself) and Paul Anka (himself). As he comes out of the fantasy, Laurie joins him in the van and seduces him. Hyde notices the van knocking and parks himself outside. In the circle, Hyde tries to get Kelso to admit what he did, and he finally let is out. Eric threatens that if he says one more word about his sister, he will tell Jackie. Later, Jackie asks Donna what the hold-up of her sleeping with Eric. That night she tells Donna that maybe he should ask to borrow the van. Red’s co-workers Dale (Jeff Doucette), Amy (Cindy Caponera), and Bruce (Paul Eisenhauer) lament the last day of work and invite Red to join them for drinks. He initially declines, but when they accuse him of hating them, he joins them, and they all get drunk together. He later calls home and has Kitty send Eric, Hyde, and Fez go pick him up. Michael finally gets Jackie into the van, and as they are kissing, he tells her that the van is changing him. Since transportation is a big deal, he tells her that he wants to see other people, but Jackie flat out tells him no. When the kids show up to get Red, he insists that they all drink with him, so Eric has to call Kitty to come get all of them. Kitty tells Red that they will get through this and that they’ve been through worse… but she can’t seem to name one. Red says he’s not worried about it, because he is too drunk. On the way home, they all sing Redneck Mother until Kitty makes them turn it off. When Hyde talk about getting Amy’s number, she turns it back on. Donna comes to see Eric the next morning while he is hungover and tells him that she stopped over last night because she felt like it was the night. However, when Eric asks if they can re-schedule for that night, she say that night doesn’t feel right, nearly reducing Eric to tears. Kelso tells Laurie that Jackie said they can’t see other people, but Laurie tells him that he is a tool and she will use him as she pleases. Red finds them in the van and tells him to watch his ass. 9/22/23
• 028. The Velvet Rope – 10/12/1999
  • As the Forman family start to cut corners on food due to Red being out of work, Red thinks he can use his loyalty, hard work, and experience to get a new job. However, when he shows up for his first interview, he sees that Dale and several other former co-workers are all at the same place trying to find work. Meanwhile, when Donna catches her parents doing yoga and then hears how they are experimenting with tantric sex, she demands that Eric take her out for a night on the town. Kelso suggests that they all go to a new hot club in Chicago, but Jackie nixes the idea of her and Kelso going since her parents are out of town and she wants him to come over and ‘study’. Kelso balks because he thinks she really means that they are going to study, but soon realizes she wants to have six. Several minutes later after they’ve done their business, Jackie starts experimenting with her makeup on Kelso to make him look like David Bowie. This eventually leads to her dressing him up in girls’ clothes and dancing around the room together. Donna, Eric, Fez, and Hyde arrive at the club, and the bouncer (Neil Flynn) lets Donna in right away but keeps the guys out because they are nerds. He eventually lets Fez in when he shows the bouncer his dance moves. Hyde makes an impassioned political speech about being held down by the man, so the bouncer lets him in as well. No matter what Eric does, he won’t let him in, and merely bashes on him when he tells the bouncer that Donna is his girlfriend. Red comes home lamenting that the world is changing and that things aren’t going as he expected, believing that he would leave the postwar American dream if he exercised experience, loyalty, and hard working. Eric reminds the bouncer about times in his childhood when he was left out of being the goose in Duck, Duck, Goose, which finally drives him to take pity on Eric and let him in. Jackie’s father comes home early and catches them dancing around the room with Kelso wearing the makeup and a dress. He attempts to strangle Kelso as Jackie tries to tell her father that she loves him. After their night out, Eric asks Donna why she is with him, but she just toys with him and tells him that she had better look for someone else, but then gives him a passionate kiss. 9/22/23
• 029. Laurie and the Professor – 10/19/1999
  • Laurie takes delight in notifying her parents that Eric is hiding a hickey that Donna gave him. Hyde is just annoyed that Eric was up late talking about the hickey and wants to live in a separate room. Eric won’t move out of his room, so Hyde tries planting a cot in various areas of the house, but none are suitable. He winds up finding a storage room in the back of the basement and claims that as his own. Fez wants his own hickey, and since neither of the girls will give him one, he gives himself one on the arm. Kelso steals a pair of Laurie’s underwear to commemorate their relationship. Donna’s mother suddenly wants to spend time with her, so she takes her shopping for some new shoes. However, Midge can’t stop complaining to her about her father, which gets on Donna’s nerves. When Bob sees that Midge has bought her something, he insists on taking Donna out shopping himself and buying her a new shirt. Donna finally lays down the law and tells her parents that if they are going to fight, they can no longer do it through her. Laurie receives a visit from Professor Stark (Stephen Tobolowsky), one of her former teachers at the University of Wisconsin. He claims he is there to try and get her reinstated at the college. Red and Kitty are all for this, but when Eric goes out to run an errand, he sees them kissing in the driveway. He loves having this information and tries to come up with a plan to drop the bomb on her. He also hints that he may let her off with a warning, but Hyde tells him that he has to let Red find out the dirt. Kelso seems distressed that Laurie is having an affair with her teacher, although Jackie can’t understand why he cares. Just as Eric is finally getting ready to drop the bomb during dinner time, Professor Stark confesses to everyone that he is in love with Laurie. Red immediately throws him out of the house. Laurie plays herself off like a victim and then tells Red that Eric saw them kissing earlier and didn’t do anything to try and stop it, leaving Red angrier at Eric than he is at Donna. Kitty tells Eric that the next time he has the kind of information on Laurie, he needs to pull the trigger quickly. 1/22/24
• 030. Halloween – 10/26/1999
  • As the gang explains the concept of Halloween to Fez, Eric laments how much he misses the old days of the holiday. Fez dresses up as Batman to try out the trick or treating, but only gets an apple. They decide to go see Texas Chainsaw Massacre and then sneak into their old Main Elementary school, which has partially burnt down. It is implied that they all suspect of Hyde of committing the crime. Meanwhile, Red and Kitty recall via flashback a Halloween party they spend together in 1957 right after they moved into the house. Kitty gets a call during the party from her doctor, telling her that she is pregnant with Laurie. Red’s mother Bernice is present when she gets the call and is able to guess it right away and questions whether Red is the father. In the present, the kids break into the school, and Kelso is scared of the place being haunted. When a window seems to shut on its own, Kelso pushes Jackie out of the way to run to safety. Jackie is furious at this and notes that Fez tries to protect her when the noise occurred. Eric tries to lead the gang in scary stories, but no one seems scared. The kids find their old elementary permanent records, and Hyde sees where it was written in his how he destroyed another student’s food groups mural. He claims this is what first gave him the reputation of being a bad boy which followed him all through his school days and ruined his life. He is especially angry when he learns that it was actually Eric who destroyed the mural. Hyde learns and exposes that Jackie’s middle name is Buelah, despite the fact that she nearly beats him senseless to keep him quiet. Kelso tries to break up the argument between Hyde and Eric by revealing that he used to wear a Superman cape in first grade. They all then realize that Kelso had to repeat first grade, is now eighteen, and could have been buying beer for them all along. They all gang up on Kelso, so Jackie comes to his rescue. When Eric and Donna call Jackie “Beulah,” she reveals that Hyde kissed Donna last year. Donna then exposes the fact that Jackie said that Fez is a better kisser than Kelso. Everyone then erupts into a huge fight, so they all decide to bury the permanent school files. Back in 1957, Kitty reveals to Red that she is expecting, and Red reacts with “oh no” and “crap.” He then feels the need to apologize and tells her that after it finally sunk in, he was really happy about it. When his immature friend Frank (Pat Finn) tries to pull him away to drink beer faster, Red tells him to go home, showing Kitty that he’s maturing past that level, and Frank becomes the first person for Red to call a ‘dumbass.’ 1/22/24
• 031. Vanstock – 11/2/1999
  • Eric gets permission to go to Vanstock with his friends, but he declines to allow Laurie to use his car to go to a frat party. This backfires when Kelso invites Laurie to go along with them after Jackie declines. Kelso wants Eric to not bring Donna, so he can make out freely with Laurie, but Eric declines his request. Donna winds up seeing Kelso and Laurie kissing in the van before they even leave and is shocked by the situation. Eric tells her that he had no idea that it was going on so she will not be mad at him. When Jackie shows up unexpectedly, Donna can’t bring herself to tell her the truth about Kelso, while Hyde tries to encourage Jackie to surprise Kelso so that Hyde can enjoy watching the fireworks fly. Meanwhile, Red is forced to watch soap operas with Midge during the day, and he gets into them far more than he hoped he would. When he attends a hospital gathering with Kitty, he gets annoyed when Dr. Browning (Rick Scarry) presses him about what he’s going to be doing for a new job. He winds up getting drunk and discussing soap operas with Kitty’s co-worker Mary (Carol Mansell). He later dreams about being in his own soap opera called Point Place, in which Kitty leaves him for Dr. Cloke because Red is jobless, and then tells Red that Cloke is Eric’s father. Back in reality, Kitty brings Red some beer and they toast the new job that she knows he will eventually find. As Hyde tries to find a girl (Mindy Spence) who has lost her bra, he also tries to convince Kelso to confess to his affair to Jackie because they might be receptive to both being his girlfriend. As they lay under the stars in their sleeping bag, Eric confesses to Donna that he knew about Kelso and Laurie, which causes her to get out of the bag and storm off. Hyde then tells her that Eric does everything for her, and it wouldn’t have been right for him to tell on his friend. She returns to Eric to tell him that he’s a great boyfriend. Jackie and Laurie wind up connecting, and they spend the night with Fez in the van having girl talk, insisting that Kelso stay out. He tries to climb in the sleeping bag with Donna and Eric, but they kick him out as well. Rod Roddy does a voice over outro reminiscent of the sitcom Soap, even including a cameo appearance by Chuck (Jay Johnson) and his ventriloquist puppet Bob. Steve Johnson is Judd, the guy who is worried about the blue acid. 6/12/24
• 032. I Love Cake – 11/9/1999
  • After Eric comforts Donna about the problems between her parents, she tells him that she loves him. Eric awkwardly responds that he loves cake. Meanwhile, Bob and Midge get in another fight and winds up sleeping in Red’s car. Red reluctantly tells Bob that he can stay with them, but when Kitty finds Bob taking a bath, she demands that Red make him leave. He approaches Midge about letting him back home, but she refuses. Kelso gets a new leather jacket and thinks that he looks like Marlon Brando, but everyone else thinks he looks like the Fonz and starts making fun of him. Kelso tries to buy pizza for everyone while they are going around the table while high in order to get them to stop picking on him. Eric tells them about the love/cake incident, and Hyde tells him that he should say it back in order to keep her happy. Elsewhere, Jackie advises Donna to play it cool with Eric and hope he forgets that she ever said it, so Donna gives him the cold shoulder. Eric then goes out of his way to keep telling her that he loves her, which starts to make her feel awkward and uncomfortable. Eric admits that he doesn’t know how he would handle it if they broke up while an ‘I love you’ was out there. She tells him to just forget it ever happened, and he agrees. When Laurie laughs at Kelso in his jacket, he decides to discard it, and then storms off while yelling at everyone. Hyde retrieves the jacket, and suddenly everyone, including Laurie, thinks he looks sexy like Marlon Brando. Red tells Bob that he likes him but that he is an ass, and he wants him to go home. Red then goes over and tells Midge that he is going to trim the limbs for her, and the pretends to be injured and stuck under a limb. While she attends to Red, Bob sneaks back in the house. Later, Bob tells Red that they’ve agreed to get a separation, but plan to live together while dating other people. Donna tells Eric about her parents, and he tells her sincerely that he loves her, and she returns the sentiment. 6/12/24
• 033. Sleepover – 11/16/1999
  • Eric has an erotic dream about being in bed with Donna, only to wake up and find that it was only a dream. However, he is surprised to learn that Donna has really snuck into his room and is ready to climb in bed with him. He imagines himself on a game show called the $20,000 Virgin Octagon, answering questions with a partner named Jinx Mandell (Linda Wallem) about his relationship with Donna. When he returns to reality, Donna tells him that Hyde saw her climbing up his trellis, and sure enough, Hyde is standing outside his door listening. Meanwhile, Kitty agrees to work some double shifts to cover for another nurse, much to Red’s consternation. Kitty tells Red that he will have to feed the boys dinner while she is taking on the evening shifts. Hyde interviews for a job at the Photo Hut with the perpetually stones Leo (Tommy Chong) and gets the job. When Hyde later asks Eric about his night with Donna, Eric admits that he didn’t have sex but that he did other fun, new stuff with her. Likewise, Donna admits to Jackie that they slept together, but mostly just actually slept and cuddled. She is shocked that Eric didn’t pester her all night like Kelso does to her. While getting high in the circle, Hyde tells the other guys about Eric, and they all make fun of him for not having sex. Eric later invites Donna to sneak back into his room that night. Red keeps trying to cook but winds up burning everything. When a pot of water boils over, he takes advice from Fez on how to make it stop. He winds up serving a terrific chicken, corn, mashed potatoes, and biscuit meal, but everyone is on to the fact that he simply bought Kentucky Fried Chicken. Hyde hands over the money from his first paycheck to Red to help the family. Kitty says he’s a keeper, but Red can’t decide whether to start a savings account for him with the money, or to spend it all on booze. Donna sneaks back in that night and climbs into bed again. She tells Eric that she really liked the cuddling, but he says that they should have sex instead. She recognizes this as something that came from his friends and asks whether he discussed it with them. She also tells him that it will be a long drive together, and they’re going to reach their destination, but she would like to see some trees along the way. She says she loves him but isn’t going to take off her pants. Eric agrees to put his back on. 10/10/24
• 034. Eric Gets Suspended – 11/30/1999
  • Eric is surprised when Donna tells him in the school parking lot that she is getting an F in English and then lights up a cigarette. When he holds it for her, their teacher Mr. Brownberg (Jeff Austin) comes outside and see him and takes him inside to the office. Donna tries to tell him that the cigarette is hers, but Eric won’t let her take the blame. He gets suspended from school, and Donna thinks that Eric is stupid for taking the blame. Hyde says that she just is trying to get attention from her parents. Meanwhile, Fez’s hosts parents set him up on a blind double date, and he asks Hyde to come along with him. Donna tries to show her parents the F she got, but they are too busy heading to a nightclub called Swingles to meet some swingers. They barely have time to give Donna any attention because they are anxious to go to the nightclub. Two girls, a blonde named Mary (Melissa Joan Hart) and a brunette Patty (Lindsay Sloane) show up for the date with Hyde and Fez. Hyde sees the blonde and insists on having her, but soon finds out that she seems too goody-two-shoes for him when she talks a lot about church. When Eric gets home, both Laurie and Red already know about Eric’s smoking incident. Kitty wants to make sure that Eric sees photos of a cancerous lung, while Red forces Eric to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes, despite the fact that Eric pleads with them to believe that he doesn’t actually smoke. Eric imagines the scenario of himself interviewing for college with an admissions officer (Thomas Weber), with his chances completely ruined because of his suspension. While Red makes Eric sweep the driveway, Bob comes over and blames Eric for Donna’s F, especially after finding out that he was caught smoking. Jackie wants to put some of her stuffed animals in Kelso’s van, but he refuses, so she refuses to get back in the van with him. Eric tells Donna that he wants an apology from her, because now her father hates him. Donna doesn’t care, and when Bob finds Eric in their house with Donna, he throws him out, so Donna leaves with him. Hyde decides that he wants to switch dates after hearing how religious Mary is and then hears that Patty likes Malcolm X and rebellious music. They get along great, but then she decides she needs to study, telling him that no matter how rebellious she is, she knows she needs good grades to get into college. Mary proves to be wilder than Hyde initially thought, and she invites Fez to come back to her place while her parents are gone so they can get in the hot tub at their house. While Eric and Donna are in his driveway discussing what a ‘bad boy’ Eric is, they catch Kitty and Laurie smoking in the driveway. Red somehow blames this on Eric as well, but Donna steps in and admits to him that the cigarette that Eric was caught with belonged to her. Kitty forces Red to apologize, so he does, but also says that Eric has lied to him a lot. He also apologizes for making him smoke the pack of cigarettes, but Eric tells him that he rather liked it and thinks it would go great with beer. Fez finally agrees to let Jackie have stuffed animals in his van, specifically six. Mary tells Fez that even though they made out on her parents’ bed, she has a boyfriend. He tells her that she can be faithful, but they can still have fun and takes off his swimsuit. Donna tells her parents about the cigarette and gets grounded. However, she immediately sneaks out and goes to see Eric, who tells her that she should try to get more attention by acting slutty with him. Kelso and Jackie get into another fight, and this time he is stuck walking beside the van and refusing to get in… so Jackie drives off. 10/10/24

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