SEASON 1 – Fox
Created by Ron Leavitt and Arthur Silver
This series is a spinoff of “Married…with Children” via the backdoor pilot episode “Top of the Heap”
Theme song: “Puttin’ on the Ritz” written by Irving Berlin, performed by Kenny Yarbrough
- 001. The Agony and the Agony – 4/14/1991
- Charlie Verducci (Joseph Bologna) works as a superintendent of a slum apartment in Chicago, and lives in one of the apartments with his son Vinnie (Matt LeBlanc) and his cat Mr. Fluffy. Charlie constantly tries to get out of fixing anything requested by the residents, especially the mouthy Lupe Hernandez (Irene Olga Lopez). One of the neighbor girls, Mona Mullins (Joey Lauren Adams) is only sixteen years old, but is constantly propositioning Vinnie, who tries to avoid her advances since she is underage. Although Charlie his instituted the “Verducci Master Plan” of getting Vinnie married off to a rich woman, Charlie goes after a job as a parking attendant at the Rolling Hills Country Club. However, when he walks into the club, various members from the aerobics group including, Mrs. Epstein (Mary Pat Gleason) and Mrs. Gilbert (Alisha Fontaine) are charmed by him. The manager Alixandra “Alix” Stone (Rita Moreno) wants him to take over as an event coordinator as the current one, Carlo Dupree (Jeff Riley) is working his last day. Charlie comes to the country club to see Vinnie and runs afoul of the short and effeminate security officer Emmet Lefebvre (Leslie Jordan). Charlie tries to hit on Alixandra, but she tells him that he’s the kind of guy who she always falls in love with… but is ultimately bad for her. He nearly gets her to accept a dinner invitation, but then turns him down when she realizes he wants her to cook. Vinnie is embarrassed when he starts making mistakes including bringing member Frank Clayton (Rod Arrants) some dinner rolls when he wants his Rolls Royce. Vinnie also pours water on the table and a guest when he sees a flambe on fire. Charlie talks Vinnie into going back for the evening 50’s dance, where he meets Fred Epstein (Richard Fancy) and Gil Gilbert (Greg Lewis), who both make fun of him for the water incident. Vinnie also gets a visit from his friend Bud Bundy (David Faustino), who is posing as a pro golfer to impress his girlfriend, Lynette. Mrs. Epstein and Mrs. Gilbert get Vinnie on the dance floor and they and the other ladies all dirty dance with him. Charlie overhears their husbands threatening to beat up Vinnie, so he poses as someone who wants to go after him as well, telling them that he doesn’t care if he is a vicious boxer who has maimed many and has challenged Mike Tyson. They suddenly lose interest in enacting revenge. Charlie takes another crack at hitting on Alixandra with some tired flattery. All the ladies get Vinny back on the floor to dance La Bamba. Anita Mann is Bee Bee. NOTE: This is the follow-up episode to the backdoor pilot Top of the Heap episode of Married…with Children that aired on 4/7/1991. 1/22/23
- 002. Behind the Eight Ball – 4/21/1991
- Charlie dresses himself up to try and take another crack at getting a date with Alixandra. Likewise, Mona continues her pursuit of Vinnie. Another girl he once dated named Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) stops by the country club to see if Vinnie will go with her to go to the movies. He says he can’t leave his job, so she has no problem getting every man in the room to chase after her to drive her to the movies. While Charlie waits for Alixandra, he begins shooting pool, and he and Vinnie meet two gorgeous sisters named Romona (Pamela Anderson) and Sherry (Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst). They are the nieces of a rich new member of the club named Warren Pardo (Seth Jaffe). He has been fast-tracked for membership into the club, and Charlie gets jealous when he sees Alix on his arm. Despite warnings from Alix that he is a very powerful man, Charlie challenges him to a game of pool for money. It becomes obvious quickly that he is trying to hustle Pardo, and he winds up getting himself into $10,000 debt. As they start to play the next game, a man named Arnie (Gabriel Bologna) comes to see Pardo, and Charlie sees Arnie kneeling at Pardo’s feet and calling him ‘Godfather.’ Charlie is so nervous when he breaks, the cue ball comes off the table, smashes some pottery on display, and then goes into a fish tank. Charlie and Vinnie rush off to the restroom and are then confronted by Alix. When they tell her that they think he is tied to the mafia, she decides to throw him out. When they all return to the table, Pardo insists that Charlie pay him the money, and when he goes to grab a pen from his pocket, Charlie and Vinnie throw him down to the pool table. Arnie then appears and tells them that Pardo is his actual father. Pardo is actually the owner of Pardo Pants. Meanwhile, Joey gets a date with Romona, but Mona shows up at the club, angry that Vinnie left her home to study while he went to work. Romona feels sorry for her crush on Vinnie, so she invites her to come to the Madonna Costume Party at the club that night and takes her off to work on her costume. That night at the party Romona and Sherry show up as Madonna during different phases of her career. 1/22/23
- 003. Stocks and Bondages – 4/28/1991
- Vinnie comes home late on night and tells his father about overhearing some rich old man playing a game of ‘buying chairs and turning them over’. Charlie figures out that what he actually heard were the men talking about stocks, and the fact that they were buying shares in a company called Pan Nuko that is being taken over. Charlie gets the idea to pitch the stock to members of the country club starting with member Hal Clayton (previously identified as Frank Clayton). He says he will give Charlie 10 percent of his earnings. In addition to earning the commissions, Charlie turns to a loan shark who okays him for $10,000 and sends his henchman Ray (Chuck Bergansky) to deliver the money. Charlie passes it on to Vinnie and tells him to go buy the stock while he continues to line up investors. When Alexandra hears this, she recommends to Vinnie that he not invest the money as there will be serious repercussions if he loses it and can’t pay it back. He takes the advice and hangs onto the money. Vinnie starts to get worried when the stock quickly gains three thousand dollars. Charlie sticks his head out the window and announces how rich he now is before throwing his clothes out the window since he plans to replace them all. Alexandra feels terrible for giving Vinnie the bad advice and tells him he better come clean. The next day at the club, Vinnie finally tells his father the truth. Charlie is forgiving since he still has the commission money from the others. However, that evaporates as well when they watch a newscast of reporter Lou Arnold (John Hostetter) announcing that he went undercover at Rolling Hills and shows a video of himself in a disguise getting the stock pitch from Charlie. He also announces that as a result, the FCC considers it inside training and has frozen all stock sales, rendering the stock worthless. Clayton and the other club members who invested all try to attack the Verduccis, but they are busy hiding under a table. Meanwhile, Vinnie is asked to hire one waitress at 3:00, but he ends up hiring three waitresses, Terry Lynn (Hope Marie Carlton), Gina (Robin Angers), and Lotus (Therese Kablan) at 1:00. Alexandra insists that he fire two of them, but the girls talk him into hiring two more of their friends. 5/24/23
- 004. The Last Temptation of Charlie – 5/5/1991
- Charlie has no qualms about showing his disdain for Vinnie’s cat Mr. Fluffy after Vinnie serves the cat his dinner on the last plate and gives his father his dinner in the empty cat can. Charlie goes on to say how worthless cats are, but then Vinnie points out an ad in the paper offering a $5000 reward for a missing cat. The cat happens to look just like Mr. Fluffy so he gets the idea that he can make some quick money by returning Mr. Fluffy to the other cat’s owner and collecting the money. This will help him so he doesn’t have to keep entering contests to earn prizes. Charlie leaves with Fluffy intending on going through with his plan, but when he meets Mrs. O’Miley (Marianne Muellerleile) in the laundry room, she flirts with him and then accidentally starts her laundry with Mr. Fluffy inside. Charlie pulls the cat out, gives him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and saves him. Charlie suddenly gets mushy of the cat and falls in love with him. He takes the cat back to the apartment and starts to pamper and spoil him, but Mr. Fluffy spots his old girlfriend cat Roxanne and follows her out the window. When Vinnie gets home, he accuses his father of selling the cat. Furthermore, a delivery boy (Martin Kachuck) brings a TV to Charlie which he won in one of his contests. This further solidifies to Vinnie that his father gave the cat away, although Charlie swears up and down that he didn’t. Kelly Bundy stops over in hopes of making out with Vinnie but he is too afraid of her father to do so. She then hangs out and tries to comfort Vinnie by watching Garfield cartoons with him. Mona comes by and is thrilled to meet Kelly as she is a sexual legend in the neighborhood. Everyone in the apartment, including a nun (Thelma Lee), a housewife (K.C. Calloway), and even Mrs. O’Miley snubs Charlie because of what they think he did to the cat. Eventually Charlie talks to Vinnie about how he always tried to do right by Vinnie when he was growing up. Vinnie finally chooses to believe in his father, and they go out together to search for Mr. Fluffy. As soon as they leave, Mr. Fluffy returns to the apartment and turns Garfield back on the TV. 5/24/23
- 005. The Marrying Guy – 5/12/1991
- Mona bursts into Vinnie’s place, angry that he got married in her dream the night before. She makes him promise not to get married to anyone that day, so he agrees without qualms. Meanwhile, a wedding is taking place at Rolling Hills. Vinnie accidentally walks in on a guy named Brian (Adam Mills) who is making out with one of the workers named Colleen. When the wedding starts, the wealthy bride Tyler Adams (Jeri Ryan) recognizes Vinnie while walking down the aisle. He also recalls that nearly seven years earlier they were each other’s first love. Vinnie had worked as a bus boy at a rich kid camp when they fell in love, but her parents found out and flew her out in a helicopter. When Vinnie sees that she is marrying Brian, he pulls the fire alarm to end the wedding. Emmet rushes to get Charlie before there is a riot. Vinnie tells Tyler about what Brian did, and Brian tries to attack Vinnie, only to be stopped by Vinnie’s boxing moves. Tyler confesses that she isn’t even upset about the break-up with Brian as she reminisces about her time with Vinnie. She thinks they can continue their good times together by getting married themselves. Vinnie thinks they don’t know each other well enough anymore, but when his father arrives and realizes she is worth millions of dollars, he convinces Vinnie to get married to her. Once they get up in front of the minister (Warren Munson), Mona rushes in and stops the wedding, having had another dream in school about Vinnie getting married. When Charlie throws her out, Mona pulls the fire alarm. Vinnie and Tyler then decide if they should go through with the wedding, so they take a compatibility test in Women magazine. Although they are identically matched in both things, neither one can honestly say that they are completely committed to the relationship. With the wedding off, Tyler asks Vinnie to go to Europe with her. He declines but tells her that he’d like to see her when she returns. Charlie tells him he made the right decision. but when Vinnie tells him that she is worth $300 million, Charlie tries to jump onto the helicopter to bring her back. Frank Lloyd is the tumbling delivery boy Frank. Phil Diskin is credited as Charlie’s brother-in-law Stuie. 9/25/23
- 006. Mona by Moonlight – 5/19/1991
- Mona brings her friend Candi (Christina Nigra) and a couple of other friends into Vinnie’s apartment and claims that it is her and Vinnie’s love nest. After Charlie comes in wearing a welding mask, all three of the friends exit screaming. Mona asks Vinnie if she will go to her prom with him at Rolling Hills. At first, he says no, but when she resorts to crying to get her way, he says he’ll think about it if she will stop bothering him. Meanwhile, Alexandra shows the club to its new owner Mrs. Fairchild (Joan Leizman), who wants Vinnie to take her daughter Claudia (Fabiana Udenio) to the same prom. Considering she is a famous swimsuit model; Vinnie jumps at the chance. This hurts Mona’s feelings, so she decides to bring an Italian wolf named Bobby Grazzo (Robert Torti) well-known to Vinnie. Charlie and Vinnie take a limo to pick up Claudia, but they are so obnoxious in the limo that the driver Chester “Jeeves” (Eric Harrison) quits, and Charlie is forced to drive the limousine. Vinnie and Claudia arrive at the dance and are very hot together on the dance floor. Whenever Mona sees Vinnie and Claudia getting close, Mona tries to duplicate the physicality of them with Bobby. Vinnie can’t stand seeing Mona being physical with Bobby, so he keeps trying to keep them separated. Mona tells Candi to tell Vinnie that she is going down to Bobby’s van, but Candi gets distracted by a cute guy (Joshua Godard). However, once she tells Vinnie, he isn’t worried because he has swiped Bobby’s van key. Bobby finally tells Vinnie that he can have Mona if he wants, but he’s going to his van with some lady. Vinnie has to decide whether to go with Claudia or to go with Mona to keep her protected. He ultimately picks Mona, who is incredibly flattered, even when Vinnie makes it clear that he merely thinks of her as a little sister. She tells him to be ready for her when she reaches legal age, but for now just wants a brotherly dance. They go off to dance discreetly, but Candi then crowns them prom king and queen. As Vinnie, Mona, Bobby, Claudia, and Emmet drive off in the limo, they each sing a piece of a rap song. 9/25/23
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