The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Nat Hiken

Theme song: “Car 54, Where Are You?” composed by Nat Hiken and John Strauss

• 001. Who’s For Swordfish? – 9/17/1961
  • Francis Muldoon (Fred Gwynne) and Gunther Toody (Joe E. Ross) are police officer partners at the 53rd Precinct in New York City. On their day off they go fishing in their rowboat, and see one of their fellow officers Dennis O’Hara (Albert Henderson) out fishing for swordfish on his brother-in-law’s cruiser. Toody is hellbent to get O’Hara to invite him and Francis to go along, but O’Hara refuses, since his brother-in-law doesn’t even like him. Toody and Muldoon try to butter up O’Hara by giving him flowers and letting him use Muldoon’s car, but that only leads to O’Hara’s wife Helen (Sybil Lamb) thinking that he has another woman on the side. Toody also does O’Hara’s paperwork but botches it drastically. O’Hara then agrees to ask his brother-in-law if Toody agrees to stop doing him favors. The brother-in-law agrees to let them go on Wednesday, so Toody manages to con his wife Lucille (Beatrice Pons) into allowing him to go on their anniversary. The brother-in-law then changes the date to Thursday, so Toody and Muldoon talk Captain Paul Block (Paul Reed) into changing the new updated assignment board so that they can switch days off with Officer Nelson (Jim Gormley) and Officer Wally Wallace (Frederick O’Neal). Block and the officers agrees but it precipitates a series of schedule changes with Officer Joe Steinmetz (Joe Warren), Officer Ed Nicholson (Hank Garrett), Officer Harry Reilly (Duke Farley), and others… causing Officer Dave Anderson (Nipsey Russell) to all but destroy the new assignment board. After all changes are made, Muldoon realizes they are assigned to traffic court on Thursday. This leads to a whole new round of changes so that Toody and Muldoon can be on traffic duty, and not give out any traffic tickets. When Toody pulls over a driver named Harold Conroy (Ralph Stantley) for jumping a stop sign, both Toody and Muldoon try to avoid issuing a ticket but the man is so difficult they are forced to write the ticket after they wind up with six cops and the Inspector (Milo Boulton) on the scene. More changes, more destruction to the board… all resulting in someone else taking Muldoon and Toody’s place in court so that they can go on their fishing trip. However when they show up for the boat, O’Hara meets them there to tell them that the trip is off due his brother-in-law Harold Conroy being in traffic court that day for jumping a stop  sign. Jerome Guardino is Officer Antonnucci. Shelley Burton is Murdock. Jock McGraw is the Fishing Captain. Nathaniel Frey is Sgt. Sol Abrahms.  12/27/18

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SEASON 1 – HBO/CBC TELEVISION

Theme song: “Having an Average Weekend” by Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet

• 000. Pilot – 10/16/1988
  • You Millionaires! – Millionaires root through the garbage
  • Guys on a Break – Guys who work in a meat-packing plant chat about women while on break. But the receptionist they were talking about turns out to be one of their sisters.
  • Crush Your Head Part 1 – A man crushes heads using forced perspective
  • Brian’s Bombshell – A mother talks about the bombshell that her son Brian dropped on her and her husband Gordon, that he is a homosexual. Gordon imagines Brian with his boyfriend Atilla.
  • Cabbage Head – A man with a cabbage for his head tries to make his case to sleep with a woman
  • Crying Guy – A crying man recounts his failed relationship, where it is revealed that he cries through everything
  • Crush Your Head Part 2 – The headcrusher goes to work on the crying guy
  • Rusty – A boy distracts his elderly mother to hit on her elderly friend Mrs. Wilson… and it is revealed that she wasn’t the first when Mrs. Bemish shows up.
  • David Foley’s Power/Mark McKinney’s Confession – David Foley steps out of character from the previous sketch and reveals that he has the power to induce honesty in his fellow man. Mark McKinney confesses that he did ‘something’ at the mine, but doesn’t know what he is confessing to
  • Crush Your Head Part 3 – The headcrusher goes after an elderly lady, but she is saved by a fellow headcrusher and the two wage a war of headcrushing
  • But Do You Love *Me*? – After several dates a woman asks her man if he loves her. The man loves nearly everything about her, but doesn’t love her. He draws a parallel with a tree.
  • Buddy Cole – Buddy talks about searching for love in Baghdad
  • Naked for Jesus – A man discusses the latest fad that he and his girlfriend are participating in, which is spreading to others who are getting naked for Jesus
  • Reg – A group of guys sit around a fire and affectionately discuss their dead friend Reg. They end up recounting how they murdered him.
  • Crush Your Head Part 4 – The headcrusher considers retiring until he sees Cabbage Head – NOTE: This episode is 48 minutes. 3/11/15

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SEASON 1 – ABC

NOTE: This series is based on the 1973 British sitcom “Man About the House” created by Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke

Developed by Don Nicholl, Michael Ross, and Bernie West.

Theme Song: “Come and Knock on Our Door” composed by Joe Raposo and performed by Ray Charles and Julia Rinker

• 001. A Man About the House – 3/15/1977
  • On the morning after roommates Janet Wood (Joyce DeWitt) and Chrissy Snow (Suzanne Somers) throw their L.A. townhouse roommate Eleanor a bachelorette party – during which she goes into a labor – they find a man named Jack Tripper (John Ritter) asleep in their water-filled bathtub. The girls befriend and allow him to wear one of Eleanor’s old robes, and soon find that he is training to be a chef and begins to prepare them breakfast. The landlords Stanley (Norman Fell) and Helen Roper (Audra Lindley) are directly below them, and Mr. Roper was bothered by the noise all night. When Mrs. Roper goes upstairs to request that the girls keep it down in the future, she finds Jack in the nightgown. Meanwhile an applicant named Patricia Crawford (Kit McDonough) comes in response to the ad for a roommate. Not only does Janet find her dreadfully annoying, but Mr. Roper mistakes her for the ‘man’ in the apartment. After Janet and Chrissy taste how good Jack’s breakfast is, they get the idea to allow him to take Eleanor’s old room. With Jack’s obvious attraction to Chrissy, Janet make it clear that there can be no funny business if he moves in. The Ropers return to the apartment to settle the matter of whether there was a man or woman in the apartment. Stanley refuses to allow a man to move in with two women. Jack is about to give him a piece of his mind, when Roper changes his tune and says he can move in after all… after Janet tells Roper that Jack is gay. 12/27/18

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SEASON 1

Created by David Angell, Peter Casey, and David Lee

Theme music: “Piano Sonata #20 in A Major, D. 959, IV. Rondo. Allegretto” composed by Franz Schubert, arranged and adapted by Antony Cooke

• 001. Legacy – 4/19/1990
  • Joe Hackett (Tim Daly) runs the small Sandpiper airline on the island of Nantucket, operating out of the Nantucket Memorial Airport. He only has one plane, and competes with Aeromass, a slightly larger airline with six planes run by the obnoxious Roy Biggins (David Schramm). Handling Joe’s ticket counter is  the flighty Fay Cochran (Rebecca Schull). Running the lunch counter at the airport is Helen Chappel (Crystal Bernard), with whom Joe grew up as a child, and Lowell Mather (Thomas Hayden Church) is the airport’s mechanic. Joe finds out that his father left him a package in his will with the understanding that it can only be opened in the presence of both Joe and his brother Brian (Steven Weber), with whom Joe has been estranged since Brian stole Joe’s girlfriend Carol and married her. Brian returns to the airline and the brothers open the package which contains a key that opens a locker in Boston. They end up spending the day on a wild goose chase, as the locker contains a key to another locker, which contains another key to another locker, and so forth. The final locker is in the airport and it contains a photo of the brothers, indicated the father’s desire for them to be reconciled. In the end Joe finds out that Carol has left Brian for another man, and Brian has lost his job. He offers Brian a chance to work at Sandpiper and Brian accepts. 12/20/13

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SEASON 1 – COMEDY CENTRAL

Created by Rory Scoval, Sasheer Zamata, Scott Moran, and Anthony King

Music by Jason Gallagher

• 001. Pilot – 5/7/2020
  • A young man named Robbie Walton (Rory Scoval), who lives in a small town on the outskirts in Atlanta and manages the local Kreamy King ice cream shop, is desperate to live up to his father Robbie Sr. (Beau Bridges) reputation as the high school basketball coach. As a boy (Trae Romano), Robbie’s father forced him to make basketball shots in exchange for bringing him along to games. He believed that Robbie had to work hard in order to succeed, but as hard as he tried, he only worked his way to coach the church basketball team. Robbie borrows the VHS camcorder from his co-worker Beatrice (Jill Jane Clements) to record a promo for himself. Rory is extremely frustrated with his basketball team and wants to get out of it. Later at the bowling alley, Robbie speaks to his father privately and asks him to get an interview at the high school since his father is retiring after forty years. Robbie’s girlfriend Janie (Mary Holland) interrupts them, and Robbie acts as if he doesn’t know her. His father agrees to get him the interview if he rolls a strike. Despite rolling it granny style, he does in fact get the strike. That night after they sleep together, Robbie tells Janie he is finally getting out of his father’s shadow. Robbie quits his job at the Kreamy King, and Beatrice asks if she can take over. As he is packing up, his ex-girlfriend Ava (Sasheer Zamata) shows up to see him and tells him that her son Caleb (Tre Stokes) is actually Robbie’s son. Robbie wants nothing to do with him, but Caleb has been wanting to meet his real dad. She talks Robbie into taking him for the day, which means taking him to his job interview with Principal Bailey (Harry Alexander). They stop at Caleb’s apartment where Janie is cooking lunch. Because Robbie fed him ice cream and he is lactose intolerant, Caleb throws up all over Robbie’s only suit. He rushes over to his father’s house to borrow a suit from him and winds up getting into a physical altercation when he tells Robbie he can’t take the suit. Robbie takes it anyway and then heads to the interview where he shows Bailey the video he made, which leads into footage of Beatrice’s husband’s funeral. Bailey tells Robbie that they’ve already filled the position with Robbie Sr.’s recommendation. As they are getting ready to leave the high school, Robbie sees Caleb hitting shot after shot in the gym. He is stunned and asks Caleb to join the church team. Caleb tells him he won’t be allowed because of his poor grades. Robbie heads to his father’s house and burns the suit on his basketball hoop. His father admits that he never thought he’d hit the strike and Robbie wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tells Robbie that the woman they hired to coach the teach has been coaching for five years and did the work. Robbie tells his father that Caleb is his grandson. When Ava comes to pick up Caleb, Robby is in the middle of ‘fake’ lecturing him on his grades. Ava surprisingly agrees to let Caleb play on the team but threatens to kill him if he hurts him in any way. Robbie tells Beatrice that he needs his job back, but she says that she’s already called corporate and has the job. He says that is fine because he can only work a few days a week since he has a team to coach. Mel Rodriguez is Father Tom. Charles Black is Robbie Sr.’s bowling buddy Scrap. Clark Sarullo is the hot customer Ashley. Tyler Crumley is team member JP. NOTE: Eric Goins is credited as Jimmy but does not appear in the episode. 12/18/22 

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