The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman

Theme song: “I’ll be There for You” by The Rembrandts

• 001. The Pilot (Friends) (aka The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate) – 9/22/1994
  • Somewhat goofy paleontologist Ross Geller (David Schwimmer) hangs out in the Central Perk coffee shop in West Village area of Manhattan with his sister Monica (Courtney Cox), a rather uptight chef, his old college roommate Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry), a sarcastic and witty young businessman, Chandler’s roommate Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc), an obtuse aspiring actor, and Monica’s former roommate Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow), a flighty message therapist and occasional singer. Joey and Chandler’s apartment is across the hall from Monica. As they discuss Ross’ recent divorce from Carol, who has become a lesbian, Monica’s high school friend Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) comes into the coffee shop, having left her fiancee Barry at the altar. Rachel has been under the thumb of her rich father and struggles to give up her credit card lifestyle, and ends up moving in with Monica and getting a job at Central Perk. Meanwhile Monica gets a date with Paul the “Wine Guy” (John Allen Nelson), who convinces her that he has been impotent for the last two years. He leads Monica to believe that she has cured him until she finds out that her co-worker Franny (Clea Lewis) has the exact same story about him. Monica smashes his watch in retaliation. Joey and Chandler help Ross put together replacement furniture to replace what Carol has taken. Ross tells Rachel that he’s always had a crush on her, and asks if he could ask her out, to which she agrees. Cynthia Mann appears as Jasmine the waitress. NOTE: This episode is also known as The One Where It All Began, The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate, and The First One. 6/21/15

• 002. The One with the Sonogram at the End – 9/29/1994
  • Ross’ ex-wife Carol Willick (Anita Barone) visits him where he works at the Museum of Prehistoric History to tell him that she is pregnant with his baby, although she plans to raise the baby with her girlfriend Susan Bunch (Jessica Hecht). Monica is freaking out because her parents Jack (Elliot Gould) and Judy (Christina Pickles) are going to be visiting, but is counting on Ross to take some of the pressure off of her by announcing Carol’s lesbianism and the coming baby. Rachel loses the engagement ring that she has to return to Barry (Mitchell Whitfield), and it ends up being in the lasagna that Monica is preparing for her parents. During the dinner, her parents to nothing by criticize her and when Ross finally announces his predicament, Judy blames Monica for not telling her. Rachel returns the ring to Barry at his orthodontist practice and finds out that Barry is now dating her maid of honor Mindy. Ross attends Carol’s doctor appointment and does nothing but bicker with Susan. As he is about to storm out, Dr. Oberman (Joan Pringle) shows them the sonogram and lets them hear the baby’s heartbeat, which causes them to forget their argument for now. Christopher Miranda is Barry’s patient Robbie. Merrill Markoe is Ross’ co-worker Marsha. James Michael Tyler makes his first uncredited appearance as Gunther. 6/22/15
• 003. The One with the Thumb – 10/6/1994
  • Monica is thrilled when her friends finally like one of her dates, and in fact they start to like Alan (Geoffrey Lower) better than she does. Meanwhile Chandler helps Joey practice for a role that includes smoking, and Chandler becomes addicted to smoking again after having quit for three years, which irritates the group. It is only Alan who is able to convince him not to smoke. However when Monica finally makes the break with Alan, who confesses that he couldn’t stand her friends, Chandler resumes the habit. Phoebe is angry when her bank adds $500 extra to her account, and when she complains they add $500 more. She ends up giving the money to the homeless Lizzy (Beth Grant), who buys Phoebe a soft drink in appreciation. When Phoebe opens the drink, she finds a human thumb inside and is awarded $7000 from the soda company…which she offers to Chandler to quit smoking. Ross finds out that their childhood dog Chi-Chi didn’t really ‘get sent to a farm’. Jenifer Lewis is Monica’s co-worker Paula. 7/6/15
• 004. The One with George Stephanopoulos – 10/13/1994
  • Ross and Rachel each have different reasons for being depressed. Ross is sad that it is the anniversary of the day that he and Carol first consummated their relationship. Chandler and Joey take him to a hockey game in hopes of cheering him up, but Ross ends up getting hit in the face with a hockey puck. At the hospital, they encounter a nasty admissions nurse named Nurse Sizemore (Mary Pat Gleason). After Ross’s nose is bandaged, he attempts to retrieve the puck from a bratty kid (Benjamin Caya) and in the process flings it into the nurse’s head and knocks her out. Ross reveals that Carol is also the first person with whom he ever slept. Meanwhile Rachel becomes depressed after receiving a measly paycheck and then encountering her old girlfriends Leslie (Leesa Bryte), Joanne (Marianne Hagan), and Kiki (Michele Maika), all of whom are doing quite well in life. Because Phoebe’s grandmother is keeping her awake, she ends up staying with Monica and Rachel, where they end up having a depressing slumber party… until a pizza delivery boy (Sean Whalen) reveals that their neighbor is Bill Clinton’s communications director George Stephanopoulos, whom they end up spying on and seeing naked. As the girls get drunk they begin revealing secrets and bickering, but in the end Rachel realizes she is doing just fine without money. 7/6/15
• 005. The One with the East German Laundry Detergent – 10/20/1994
  • On a Saturday night Ross finds out that Rachel plans to do her laundry at Launderama and arranges to join her. Rachel sees doing laundry successfully as a symbol of breaking free and being on her own, but Ross has to comfort her when she ruins her white clothes. He also gives her the courage to stand up to a horrible woman (Camille Saviola), which leads to Rachel kissing him and causing him to bump his head. Meanwhile Chandler and Phoebe make a pact to break up with the people they’ve been seeing and do it together in the coffee shop. Phoebe does it effortlessly, but Chandler’s breakup attempt with Janice Hosenstein (Maggie Wheeler) goes from bad to worse when he gets hopped up on caffeine. Phoebe steps in and completes the process effortlessly for him. Joey runs into an old girlfriend named Angela (Kim Gillingham) and tries to win her back, despite the fact that she already has a boyfriend named Bob (Jack Armstrong). Joey convinces Monica to tag along when they all go out, telling her that Bob is Angela’s brother. Monica becomes disgusted when she sees Bob and Angela displaying affection for each other. Once Monica finds out, they seem to become more successful at seducing Bob and Angela. 9/3/15
• 006. The One with the Butt – 10/27/1994
  • The gang goes to see Joey in his latest catastrophic play Freud!, where Chandler meets the girl of his dreams Aurora (Sofia Milos) who surprisingly gives him a date. They hit it off and have a great time, but then he finds out that Aurora has both a husband and boyfriend already. They continue on with a sexual relationship, but Chandler starts to get jealous when she meets yet another boyfriend, and finally breaks it off with her. Meanwhile Joey gets an offer to be a client for a chain-smoking talent agent named Estelle Leonard (June Gable). She gets him a job as the body double for Al Pacino’s butt, which he ultimately overplays and is fired by the film’s director (James Burrows). Monica is confronted by everyone who accuses her of being a bit obsessive-compulsive about the way she runs her apartment. 9/3/15
• 007. The One with the Blackout – 11/3/1994
  • Manhattan and the surrounding area experiences a blackout one night, during which Chandler is stuck in an ATM vestibule with Victoria’s Secret model Jill Goodacre (herself, billed as Jill Connick). The rest of the gang waits out the blackout at Monica and Chandler’s apartment. Ross clumsily continues his pursuit of Rachel, but doesn’t make much headway with his flirtation. Joey warns him that he will remain in the ‘friend zone’ if he doesn’t act quickly. Ross decides to make his move, but is attacked by a cat on the balcony before he can get out the words. The girls go looking for the cat owner and find that he is an Italian-speaking hunk named Paolo (Cosimo Fusco), who accompanies Rachel back to the apartment. When the lights come back on, Ross sees Rachel and Paolo making out. Chandler, after many failed attempts at being charming, finally ends up bonding with Jill when she saves him from choking on his gum. Larry Hankin makes his first appearance as neighbor Mr. Heckles. NOTE: This episode ties in with the Mad About You episode Pandora’s Box which aired the same night, in which the character Jamie causes the blackout by attempting to steal cable. 12/2/15
• 008. The One Where Nana Dies Twice – 11/10/1994
  • Chandler’s co-worker Shelly (Nancy Cassaro) attempts to set Chandler up with another co-worker named Lowell (Stuart Fratkin), believing that Chandler is gay. Chandler can’t get a satisfactory answer from Shelly or his friends about why he appears this way, only that he has a ‘quality.’ Rachel’s phone call from Paolo from Italy is interrupted by a call from Monica’s mom letting them know that their Nana is on her deathbed. Monica and Ross visit the hospital with their parents and Aunt Lillian (Elinor Donahue), where Nana ultimately dies. As Monica and Ross say their goodbyes, Nana suddenly revives… and dies again. At the funeral Ross falls into an empty grave and injures his back. While on pain pills, Ross attempts to tell Rachel that he loves her but she attributes it to the medication. He also mentions Chandler’s ‘gayness’ while Chandler hits on a girl named Andrea (Carolyn Lowery). Joey smuggles in a small TV to watch the football game, and is joined by Jack and other men at the wake. After the funeral the group admires old photos of Nana and her friends, and silently realize that the ‘fun bunch’ of friends are very similar to them. Chandler is confronted by Lowell, who says that he knew Chandler isn’t gay. 12/3/15
• 009. The One Where Underdog Gets Away – 11/17/1994
  • Thanksgiving is around the corner and Rachel is trying to save up to go to Vail to ski with her family. When she can’t come up with the money, her friends chip in so that she can afford the flight. Ross is extremely disappointed when Monica breaks the news that their parents are going to Puerto Rico for Christmas, although she promised to cook a meal just like their mother’s. Chandler has bad memories of Thanksgiving because his parents told him they were divorcing right after a childhood Thanksgiving meal causing him to throw up, and now boycotts Thanksgiving food. Joey does some modeling for the City Free Clinic, but becomes by ostracized by his family and nearly everyone he knows when he winds up on a V.D. poster. Phoebe doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving with her grandmother until December. Everyone converges at Monica’s place where she attempts to appease everyone’s picky food desires. When Underdog gets away from the Macy’s parade, everyone goes up to the roof to see it, but they get locked out causing Rachel to miss her flight and the meal to be burnt and ruined. Although everyone is miserable, they end up being grateful for having each other after seeing Ugly Naked Guy with his date Ugly Naked Girl. They all end up eating Chandler’s cheese sandwiches. Meanwhile Ross finds out that Susan is talking to the unborn baby inside Carol (now played by Jane Sibbert), so he insists on doing it too. Max Wright is Rachel’s boss Terry. Lara Harris is the Obsession girl. 2/3/16 
• 010. The One with the Monkey – 12/15/1994
  • Chandler propose that everyone spend New Years Eve together having dinner, since none of them have dates. Soon nearly everyone caves in with Joey getting a date with a mother named Sandy (Sarah MacDonnell) whom he met while playing an elf at a department store gig, Phoebe meeting a scientist named David (Hank Azaria) while playing her own Christmas music at Monk’s, Chandler inviting his ex Janice, Monica asking her ex boyfriend Fun Bobby (Vincent Ventresca), and Rachel inviting Paulo who is returning from Rome earlier than expected. Ross is upset because his only date will be a monkey named Marcel (Katie), whom he has rescued from the lab and is now his roommate. Things don’t go as expected for everyone when Sandy brings her kids to their party, Chandler becomes increasingly annoyed with Janice and breaks it off with her, Fun Bobby is a downer because his grandmother just died, Marcel ignores Ross after the two have a fight, and Paulo misses his flight and Rachel is attacked and beaten up by a crazy lady at the airport. Phoebe’s relationship with David goes extremely well, but he is offered a grant to go to Minsk with his partner Max (Wayne Pere). He initially denies it, but when Max makes him feel guilty, Phoebe insists that he go and kisses him goodbye before midnight. Chandler is upset there is no one to kiss at midnight and suggests that the friends all kiss each other. No one takes him up on it… except for Joey, who kisses Chandler. 2/2/16
• 011. The One with Mrs. Bing – 1/5/1995
  • Chandler’s mother Nora (Morgan Fairchild), a steamy romance novelist who has always embarrassed Chandler, appears on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (himself) and announces she will be visiting Chandler while in New York. Meanwhile Ross is depressed by Paolo’s return from Italy and his continuing romance with Rachel. While everyone is out to eat, Ross gets drunk and is comforted by Mrs. Bing, and the two end up kissing. Joey witnesses this and insists that Ross tell Chandler. Ross initially blames it on Paolo, but then admits it was him, invoking the ire of Chandler. Ross tries to apologize, and also suggests that Chandler confront his mother about everything troubling him. Chandler finally does, and the two part on good terms. Chandler forgives Ross. Monica and Phoebe tend to a coma victim (David Sederholm), who they have inadvertently caused to get hit by a car. They end up in a small feud with each other when they discover that they are each visiting him alone in addition to together. Both end up losing their attraction to him when he comes out of the coma and proves to be a jerk. Rachel tries her hand at writing her own romance novel. Joey tries to convince Chandler that his mother was once good looking too. 4/27/16
• 012. The One with the Dozen Lasagnas – 1/12/1995
  • Carol finds out the sex of her and Ross’s baby, but he doesn’t want to know…but everyone else seems to find out. Meanwhile Rachel prepares to go away for a weekend with Paolo and she thinks things are getting serious. However when Paolo goes to Phoebe for a massage and ends up groping her, Phoebe is forced to tell Rachel, who immediately confronts him and ends the relationship. Ross tries his best to swoop in and comfort her, only to find that her plans including swearing off relationships for a while. When Ross tells her that not all men behave like Paolo, Rachel spills the beans by telling him that his son will probably not act that way. Ross is thrilled to learn that he will be having a son. Monica struggles to give away a dozen lasagnas that she cooked for her Aunt Sylvia that she ends up not wanting because they have meat in them. Chandler and Joey’s table breaks so they agree to split the cost of a new one. They end up buying a Foosball table, which Monica seems to dominate in every game. 4/27/16
• 013. The One with the Boobies – 1/19/1995
  • Joey’s father Joey Sr. (Robert Costanzo) comes to stay with him for a couple of days when he gets a job in the city, and Joey learns that he is having an affair with a woman named Ronni Rapalono (Lee Garlington). Joey forces his father to come clean with his mother Gloria (Brenda Vaccaro), but when he does, his mother tells Joey that it was happening just as she liked it. His father was now happy and felt so guilty that he did nice things for her. They agree to go back to the way it was, with his mother pretending not to know. Meanwhile everyone hates Phoebe’s boyfriend Roger (Fisher Stevens), a psychologist who oversteps his bounds by diagnosing all of her friends. When Phoebe confronts him about it, Roger obnoxiously tells her how much he can’t stand her needy friends, so she dumps him. Chandler accidentally walks in on a topless Rachel, who then insists that she gets to see Chandler nude. When she tries to spy on him in the shower, it ends up being Joey, who tries to take revenge, and sees Monica in the shower. Monica tries to enact revenge on Joey, but ends up seeing Joey Sr. in the shower. 8/2/16
• 014. The One with the Candy Hearts – 2/9/1995
  • Valentine’s Day is coming up and Ross asks out his neighbor Kristen (Heather Medway). Joey wants to take out a girl named Lorraine (Nancy Valen), but she will only go out if Joey can get a date for her friend. Joey takes Chandler along… and the blind date turns out to be Janice. When Joey and Kristen abandon them so that she can lick food off of him, Chandler and Janice, initially uncomfortable together, bond over using Joey’s credit card to eat and drink all they want. They end up sleeping together… a decision that Chandler immediately regrets. He finally has the courage to break it off, but this time she doesn’t get upset, vowing only that he can’t help but continuously call her back to his life. Ross’s date at a Japanese steakhouse is interrupted when Carol and Susan show up for their Valentine date. When Susan is called away for work, Carol is left alone. Ross takes pity and invites her to sit with him and Lorraine, who eventually tires of being ignored and leaves. Ross tries to talk Carol into coming back to him, but after they share a kiss, she declines. Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica spend the night performing a bad date cleansing ritual by burning ex-boyfriends’ belongings. The fire gets out of control and they are forced to call the fire department. Firemen Dave (Larry Poindexter), Charlie (Jay Acovone), and Ed (Joe Gretsch) come to the rescue and end up making dates with the girls for later than night. As they leave, they comment to each other about being married. 8/2/16 
• 015. The One with the Stoned Guy – 2/16/1995
  • Chandler’s boss Al Costilick wants to make Chandler a processing manager, which influences Chandler to quit to find out what his real career passion is. Taking an aptitude test only yields that he is suited for data processing. Meanwhile Phoebe’s client Steve (Jon Lovitz) is opening a restaurant and looking for a head chef. Monica wants her shot at it so invites him over to try her recipes. Rachel is offended when Monica asks another friend named Wendy to help serve, but when Wendy cancels on her, she resorts to using Rachel at an inflated fee. Ross goes on a date with a co-worker named Celia (Melora Hardin), and after a rocky start when she is attacked by Marcel, and ends up cuddling with her when he can’t bring himself to talk dirty like she wants. Joey coaches him on sex talk, and Ross becomes a pro at it, but he talks to long and they only end up cuddling again. Chandler finally folds and goes back to work when his boss keeps raising his salary. Steve shows up to Monica’s stoned and scarfs down her appetizers and then becomes hellbent on eating anything out of the cupboard. He winds up in the emergency room when he eats one of her refrigerator magnets, and her dreams of being head chef at her own restaurant fall apart. In retaliation Phoebe gives him an extra painful massage. 10/11/16
• 016 & 017. The One with Two Parts – 2/23/1995
  • Joey and Chandler run into Phoebe’s twin sister Ursula (Lisa Kudrow) where she works at Riff’s Bar. Much to the irritation of Phoebe, Joey begins dating her, and eventually sleeps with her. This proves awkward as well when Joey chooses to go on a date with Ursula for her birthday and skips Phoebe’s party. When Ursula begins standing up Joey, Phoebe goes to see Ursula and finds out that she is not interested. Phoebe poses as Ursula to break up with Joey properly, claiming it is because he is friends with Phoebe. The two kiss passionately, and as Phoebe swoons, Joey recognizes that he has kissed Phoebe. Meanwhile Ross takes Lamaze class with Carol and Susan, which is made awkward when Carol can’t make it to one of them. As Carol begins to freak out about having the baby, Ross starts to panic about becoming a father, stating that he can’t even control Marcel, who has changed Monica’s television to broadcast TV in Spanish only. Ross tries to seek advice from his father, but it is only when Ross has to take Marcel to the hospital after he swallows a Scrabble tile, that Ross really begins to feel like a parent. Mr. Douglas (Dorien Wilson) asks Chandler to fire a worker named Nina Bookbinder (Jennifer Grant) because of cutbacks, but instead he beings dating her. He covers for this by telling Douglas that she is mentally unstable, leading everyone to treat her differently. He ends up also offering her a raise and proposing to her in a fit of panic when she questions what is going on. Rachel hurts her ankle taking down Christmas lights, but not having insurance to pay for it, she talks Monica into letting her pose as her to use her insurance. This becomes even more complicated when they begin dating the doctors Michael Mitchell (George Clooney) and Jeffrey Rosen (Noah Wyle) and have to pose as one another. During a fight, they begin telling secrets about each other to the doctors. When the admissions woman (Alaina Reed-Hall) calls them at home about a form they forgot to sign, Rachel decides it’s not worth the stress and decides to pay for the insurance on her own. Michele Lamar Richards is the Lamaze teacher. Patty Tiffany and Patrick O’Bell are J.C. and Michael Rosten. Baille Gerstein is a customer at Riff’s. NOTES: The character of Ursula is from the TV series Mad About You. Characters from that show, Jamie Buchman (Helen Hunt) and Fran Devanow (Leila Kenzle), appear in this episode mistaking Phoebe for Ursula. This is a one-hour episode broken into two parts for syndication. 10/12/16
• 018. The One with All the Poker – 3/2/1995
  • Rachel sends out multiple resumes to try and get a better job, and gets an interview at Saks Fifth Avenue. Meanwhile the girls find out that the guys had a poker game, and ask to get in on the game, but are systematically destroyed by the guys since they really don’t know how to play. They demand a rematch and call in Monica’s Aunt Iris (Beverly Garland) to tutor them on how to play. Ross claims to be over his crush on Rachel and the two of them get particularly competitive in their playing, with Ross rubbing in a second big victory. Iris returns to tutor them further, and they have a third match. During the game, Rachel gets word that she didn’t get the job, despite having a very successful interview. Rachel and Ross end up the last two in a very tense hand, where she goads him into making a huge bet, although he tries to fold. Rachel ends up with a full house, and Ross concedes the hand, content with how happy it made Rachel… but he won’t let the guys look at his hand. 1/14/17
• 019. The One Where the Monkey Gets Away – 3/9/1995
  • Ross still debates on how to tell Rachel how he feels, while Rachel struggles with finding out that her ex-fiancee Barry is now engaged to her maid-of-honor Mindy. Rachel babysits Marcel, and Ross plans to have the talk with her when he comes to pick him up, but the plans are derailed when Marcel sneaks out and she can’t find him. Everyone goes looking around the building for him. Chandler and Joey are temporarily distracted by hot neighbors Samantha (Angela Visser) and Tia (Elizabeth Sjoli). Rachel calls Animal Control and the agent turns out to be a former classmate of Rachel and Monica’s named Luisa Gianetti (Megan Cavanaugh), to whom Rachel was mean. Since having a monkey is illegal, she threatens to take away Marcel and joins in the search, accidentally shooting Phoebe with a tranquilizer gun. They eventually find Marcel in Mr. Heckles apartment, who claims he is a different monkey named Patty. Luisa ends up taking him, but has to let him go when Rachel threatens report her for the tranquilizer gun incident. Ross apologizes for being so hard on Rachel about losing Marcel, and gets ready to ask her out… when Barry shows up and tell Rachel that he wants her back. 1/14/17
• 020. The One with the Evil Orthodontist – 4/6/1995
  • Rachel spends a nice day with Barry, but decides to break it off. However when she goes to tell him, she ends up sleeping with him, which infuriates Ross. Mindy (Jennifer Grey) calls Rachel and asks to meet with her. Rachel assumes she is going to confront her about sleeping with Barry, but then asks her to be her Maid of Honor… but then confesses that she suspects Barry of cheating. She also confesses that she had an affair with Barry while he was engaged to Rachel, who then confesses her affair. They both end up confronting Barry to break it off, but Barry grovels to Mindy and she takes him back. Rachel is comforted that she made the right choice leaving Barry in the first place. The gang notices that someone across the street is spying on them with a telescope. Meanwhile Chandler has a great date with a gilr named Danielle (Lynn Clark) and labors over leaving a message for her, then when he does, he stresses over whether she will return his call. She finally shows up at Central Perk to tell Chandler that she had the wrong number for him, and wanted to see if he is okay… which turns Chandler off as she appears too needy. The gang notices that someone across the street is spying on them with a telescope. Joey finds out who is spying on them and calls her to confront her, but she ends up complimenting everyone. 1/14/17
• 021. The One with the Fake Monica – 4/27/1995
  • When Monica’s credit card is stolen, she is so impressed by the adventurous way the ‘fake Monica’ (Claudia Shear) is spending her money, that she tracks her down at her dance class and befriends her. Monica begins living adventurously along with her, claiming her identity as an Amish girl named  Manana, even coming home after a night of drinking and blowing off work. This all comes to a crashing halt when the Fake Monica is finally arrested and Monica is forces to reveal that she is the real Monica during prison visiting hours. Meanwhile Marcel becomes sexually aggressive and Ross is forced to find a place for him to live. While speaking to Dr. Baldharar (Harry Shearer), who advocates selling him into animal fighting, Ross finds out that Marcel has been accepted to the San Diego Zoo. Ross and his friends see Marcel off at the airport, but Marcel can merely hump Ross’s leg as they part. Joey searches for a stage name, and Chandler plays a trick on him by convincing him to present himself as Joseph Stalin. Karla Tamburelli is the dance teacher. Philip Rayburn Smith is the actor at the audition. 4/19/17
• 022. The One with the Ick Factor – 5/4/1995
  • Monica dates a college senior named Ethan (Stan Kirsh) who says he a virgin and tells him that she is only 22 instead of 26. After they sleep together, Monica confesses her lie… and he admits that he’s actually a college senior who has now fallen in love with her. Meanwhile Chandler hires Phoebe as his a fill-in secretary, and she lets it slip that no one at the office likes him. Ross gets a pager so that he can immediately find out when Carol goes into labor, but keeps getting mistakenly paged by people thinking he’s an escort named Andre. Ross is also infuriated when Rachel has sex dreams about Chandler, and then about Chandler and Joey. They are titillated until she tells them that at times it was jut Chandler and Joey engaged in the action. Chandler takes action and tries to win over his employee, which causes them to start making fun of him. Phoebe convinces him that as the boss, he can’t be everybody’s friend, so he reverts to being strict. Monica has to break it off with Ethan because she finds the situation icky. Ross overhears Rachel call out his name in her sleep, and when he wakes her up, they almost continue her action… but Ross finally gets an actual page that Carol has gone into labor. Brian Buckner and Darryl Sivad are office workers.  4/25/17
• 023. The One with the Birth – 5/11/1995
  • Ross and the gang show up at the hospital to meet Carol, who has gone into labor. Ross and Susan bicker continuously about assisting with Carol and the baby’s birth, until Phoebe pulls them into a janitor closet to scold them… and accidentally locks them all inside. Joey meets a single pregnant woman named Lydia (Leah Remini) and ends up helping with the birth since the father Roy (Carlo Imperato) is a deadbeat. However after the birth, when he leaves to go get her gifts, Roy eventually shows up. Rachel is smitten with Carol’s Dr. Franzblau (Jonathan Silverman), but then when he mentions that being a gynecologist sometimes has an effect on his sex life, she loses interest. Phoebe, who has been playing guitar to entertain everyone, finds an old janitor outfit with the nametag “Ben” on it and climbs into the ductwork to help get them free from the closet, but while she is up there, an actual janitor (Jackie Bright) frees Ross and Susan from the closet, so they are both back to witness the birth of Ross’s son, whom he and Susan agree to name Ben. June Gable is the nurse. 12/23/17
• 024. The One Where Rachel Finds Out – 5/18/1995
  • Ross’s crush on Rachel continues to frustrate him, and when he finds out that she’s dating a guy named Carl (Tommy Blaze), Chandler and Joey convince him to move on. Ross has to leave for a week-long business trip to China. During his absence, everyone throws Rachel a barbecue birthday party, during which Chandler spills the beans about Ross being in love with her after she opens a meaningful gift from Ross. Rachel tries to catch Ross at the airport but can only get as far as the flight representative (Kerrie Clark) who gives the wrong man (Jack Riley) the message that she loves the gift, much to the ire of his wife. Meanwhile Joey earns some extra money by participating in a fertility study for the medical school by contributing semen every other day, and the gang takes infinite pleasure in making fun of him. This also proves to be a problem when he is dating a basket maker named Melanie (Corinne Bohrer) who wants to have sex, but he isn’t allowed to as part of the study. Monica talks Joey into being a ‘giver’, which she appreciates, even though she refers to Joey being giving – like a woman – but he still enjoys the fanfare. A week passes and after much contemplation and discussion, Rachel meets Ross at the airport with a bouquet of flowers… but unbeknownst to her, he is getting off the plane with his new girlfriend Julie (Lauren Tom). 12/23/17

SEASON 2

• 025. The One with Ross’s New Girlfriend – 9/21/1995
  • Phoebe updates the audience of the events concerning Ross and Rachel from the previous season. When Ross gets off the plane with his new girlfriend Julie, Rachel tires to awkwardly cover for herself without letting Ross know why she is at the airport waiting for him with a bouquet of flowers. Rachel is clearly irritated by Julie’s presence, angry at Chandler for telling her Ross was into her, and jealous as she can’t stop thinking about Ross. She resorts to sleeping with Paulo, and quickly regrets it. Meanwhile Phoebe gives Joey and Chandler haircuts, but when Monica wants her to give her one, Phoebe refuses. Eventually she give in and gives her the cut, but accidentally cuts it like Dudley Moore instead of the requested Demi Moore. Chandler visits Joey’s tailor Frankie (Buck Kartalian) and is aghast when the tailor handles him inappropriately during measurements. Chandler had to convince Joey that this is not the normal way that measurements are taken. Rachel finally decides to tell Ross the truth, and it all seems to be going well, with Ross telling her that she deserves a man who would be thrilled to have her… just like he feels about Julie. With that comment, Rachel clams up, and they end the conversation with a hug. Rachel takes a final revenge by telling Phoebe to cut Julie’s hair like Roddy McDowell rather than Andie McDowell. 8/16/18
• 026. The One with the Breast Milk – 9/28/1995
  • The buys are taken aback when Carol breastfeeds Ben, even though Ross tries to comfort them. However Phoebe and Joey have no problem tasting the milk, but Ross and Chandler find the notion disgusting. Even when Ross finds out that Susan has tries it, he can’t bring himself to taste it. Meanwhile Monica begins going shopping and hanging out with Julie, while trying to keep it a secret from Rachel. Joey encounters a new cologne sampler known as the Hombre man (Joel Beeson), who is not only taking his customers, but gets a coveted date with Annabel (Emily Procter). He eventually is forced into wearing a white cowboy outfit to help sample Hombre as well. They eventually have a showdown to offer a sample to the first customer, but the Hombre man – actually Todd – sprays the customer (Lou Wills) in the eye and gets yelled at by the manager (Stan Sellers), leaving Joey and Annabel to walk off into the sunset. When Rachel finds out that Monica is shopping with Julie, she is furious and refuses to speak to her. Eventually they reconcile with a tearful embrace and Rachel promises to try and get along with Julie. However even after having a nice conversation, Rachel privately refers to her as a ‘manipulative bitch.’ Ross is finally able to taste Carol’s breast milk with cookies. Richard Lyons is the customer who refuses Joey’s Bijan for Men, but tries the Hombre. 8/16/18
• 027. The One Where Heckles Dies – 10/5/1995
  • Shortly after complaining that they are making too much noise, Mr. Heckles dies while poking the ceiling with a broom to quite everyone in Monica’s apartment. Much to their surprise, Heckles’ lawyer Buddy Doyle (Danny Dayton) informs Monica and Rachel that Heckles left them everything… which amounts to little more than an apartment full of junk. Rachel however finds a shellfish lamp and topless hula girl lamp that she likes. Monica is reluctant to let her have either, and Rachel gets upset thinking that Monica thinks of the apartment as hers rather than theirs. Matters are made worse when Monica accidentally breaks the shell lamp, forcing her to allow Rachel to keep the hula lamp and put it anywhere she wants in ‘their’ apartment. Reading through Heckles’ list of grievances, Chandler realizes that he and Heckles are a lot alike and he becomes worried he will die alone. He tries to rekindle his romance with Janice, only to find that she is married and pregnant. The girls convince him that he is just like most guys, finding fault in every little thing with the girls he dates. Meanwhile Phoebe infuriates Ross when she won’t acknowledge that evolution exists. Mike Hagerty is superintendant Mr. Treeger. 4/23/19
• 028. The One with Phoebe’s Husband – 10/12/1995
  • Everyone is startled to find out that Phoebe has been married for six years to a gay Canadian Ice Capades dancer named Duncan (Steve Zahn), with whom she was in love and helped get a green card for. When he returns, she goes all out to impress him, and Monica reveals that she was so upset by not hooking up with him that she ate a hamburger. This leads to many secrets being revealed including the fact that Monica had sex with fun Bobby on the balcony, Chandler has a third nipple, and Joey appeared in a porno movie. Meanwhile Rachel is still hung up on Ross and jealous of his relationship with Julie. When Ross reveals to her that they haven’t had sex yet, Rachel does her best to convince him that he shouldn’t do it because women like it when men don’t push it. Joey gives quite different advice, so Rachel tries another tactic by keeping Julie up late talking and hoping they will be too tired for sex. However once she realize how happy Ross is with Julie, she backs off and gives him more sound advice as to what would turn her on if it were her in Julie’s position. It seems as if Ross is falling under he spell but then heads back into his apartment to be with Julie, which by his bouncy attitude the next day seems to have gone fine. Duncan reveals to Phoebe that he needs a divorce because he’s realized he’s not in fact gay and plans to get re-married to a woman he loves. Janice Davies is the woman on the bench observing a happy Ross. 4/23/19
• 029. The One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant – 10/19/1995
  • With Ross’s birthday coming up, the gang is planning on taking him to a Hootie and the Blowfish concert, but Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe all are worried about the high cost, and feel that the other three are insensitive to the fact that they make less money. This becomes even more apparent when Monica is promoted at work to a buyer and suggests they all go out to a nice dinner. Even though the three of them try to buy cheaper items on the menu, Ross tries to split the bill evenly. Finally they reveal their issues with Ross, Monica, and Chandler. They decide that they will skip the Hootie concert so that everyone can be together for Ross’s birthday. However Monica gets some free steaks and an eggplant from a vendor so they decide to have a home-cooked meal and then surprise Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe with Hootie tickets for all of them. They feel like it is charity so they decide not to go. Ross, Monica, and Chandler decide to go anyway, but feel guilty and decide to leave… until Monica runs into Steven Fishman (Chris Young), a guy she used to babysit for, who is now a lawyer who can get them all back stage. After the show, everyone wants to forget about the money issues, but it is difficult when they find out that the three of them have partied with Hootie’s band, and Monica has even gotten a hickey. The begin to bicker again, but it all comes to a grinding halt when Monica gets a phone call from her work telling her she is fired for taking vendor kickbacks in the form of the steaks. Meanwhile, Chandler receives a wrong number call from a model named Jade (Brittney Powell) who thinks an old lover named Bob has the number. He poses as Bob on the phone and offers to meet her at Central Perk, where he then stands by to comfort her when Bob doesn’t show up. All goes well and he eventually sleeps with her, but then receives another call for Bob that mentions how awkward, bumpy, and quick he was at lovemaking. Spencer Cherashore is the snooty waiter. 2/4/20
• 030. The One with the Baby on the Bus – 11/2/1995
  • Ross has an allergic reaction to the kiwi in Monica’s pie and his tongue swells up, necessitating the need to see a doctor. Joey and Chandler agree to watch Ben while they are gone so they can pick up some girls who might be impressed with the baby. The first girl they meet is Caroline Duffy (Lea Thompson), but she thinks they are gay. Then they follow girls named Robin (Catherine Bell) and Becky (Jennifer Sommerfield) onto a bus, and when they exit with the girls, they realize they’ve left Ben on the bus. At the doctor’s (Victor Raider-Wexler) office, Ross has a phobia of shots, but ends up taking it while holding Monica’s hand and nearly breaking it. Meanwhile Terry has hired professional singer Stephanie Schiffer (Chrissie Hynde) to sing at Central Perk and tasks Rachel with firing Phoebe. She talks him into letting Phoebe play after Stephanie, but when Phoebe finds out that Stephanie is getting paid and she isn’t, she takes to performing in the streets. After Rachel listens to Stephanie’s lovely rendition of Angel of the Morning, she goes outside to check on Phoebe, who decides that attaching monetary value to her songs isn’t for her. Joey and Chandler track down the baby to the Transit Authority, but are not sure which one is Ben. They randomly pick one, but fear they have the wrong one when they arrive home and he doesn’t cry for Monica like normal. Once he starts crying, they realize all is fine. However Ross finds the baby in a diaper that says “Property of Human Services” and becomes enraged at Chandler and Joey. Phoebe attempts to teach Stephanie how to play Smelly Cat. Hugh Dane is Jim at the Transit Authority. Giovanni Ribisi appears uncredited as the guy who accidentally throws the condom in Phoebe’s guitar case. NOTE: Lea Thompson’s appearance is part of the Must See TV crossovers that week, her character from the sitcom Caroline in the City. 2/4/20
• 031. The One Where Ross Finds Out – 11/9/1995
  • Phoebe tells Chandler that he’s put on a little weight, so he agrees to become Monica’s project and they begin working out together. Soon he is completely exhausted and wants to give it up. Phoebe laments that her boyfriend Scott won’t ‘put out’ for her. When Ross and Julie decide to adopt a cat together and keep joint custody, Rachel begins to understand the seriousness of their relationship. Monica sets her up with a recent divorcee named Michael (Arye Gross), but all Rachel can talk about is Ross, Julie, and their cat. As she gets more drunk, it becomes worse, and Michael tells her that she needs to have closure on her relationship with Ross. She borrows a cell phone from a man (Barry Diamond) and calls Ross right at the table and leaves a message that she is ‘over him’. Rachel realizes later what she’s done and tries to stop Ross from hearing the message, but she is too late. Ross is in shock, but has to meet Julie to pick out a cat. When Chandler tries to get out of the running and she keeps on him, he tells her all of the things wrong in her life getting her too depressed to work out. Phoebe finally asks Scott why they haven’t had sex, and he says that he’s afraid there would be too much pressure to have a relationship. She tells him that sex can be simply in the moment and that he doesn’t have to worry about calling her again if he doesn’t want to. Joey reminds her that she begged a man to sleep with her, and then let him off the hook from having to call her back, which makes him Joey’s ‘god’. At the pet store, Ross can’t decide on a cat and choosing one becomes a metaphor for choice he faces with Julie and Rachel. He goes to see Rachel afterward and tells her she had no right to tell him about her feelings for her now that he’s happy with Julie. She angrily throws him out… but he returns and they passionately kiss. Marcus Jacques is the waiter. Fritzi Burr is the woman at the pet store. 5/13/20
• 032. The One with the List – 11/16/1995
  • In the aftermath of his kiss with Rachel, Ross begins to feel guilty about cheating on Julie. When she shows up at the coffee shop with Rachel there, it leads to a tense situation. Ross discusses this with Joey and Chandler, who recommend that he make a list of pros and cons of each woman on Chandler’s computer. He dictates several things to Chandler about Rachel that include the fact that she’s spoiled, too wrapped up in her looks, and only a waitress. But for Julie’s list, he only has to say that she is ‘not Rachel.’ He later breaks it off with an sad and angry Julie and returns to Rachel, who is thrilled that they can begin their relationship. However when she catches a glimpse of the list on the computer and then it prints out, she demands to see it and snatches from Joey’s hands. When she reads it, she is furious and not even seeing what was written in Julie’s column, the misspelled ‘not Rachem’, will allow her to forgive. Ross keeps trying to call and visit, even climbing on the balcony in the rain with a list of Rachel’s ‘pros’. He also dedicates a song on the radio, but Rachel calls the station and tells them what Ross did and they stop playing the song. It appears that their relationship will never happen. Meanwhile Monica is hired by a company that manufactures a fake chocolate called Mockolate to come up with various recipes that include the terrible food. None of her friends can stand the taste of it, but she comes up with several dessert ideas. However it is all for naught when the food’s FDA license isn’t approved, and Monica is told by her boss Leon Rastatter (Michael McKean) that eating a lot of it can cause burning when she pees. She is later offered a job coming up with ideas for cooking with Fishtachios, which are fish parts cooked into nuts. 5/15/20
• 033. The One with Phoebe’s Dad – 12/14/1995
  • Christmas is coming up and Monica has gotten on the bad side of the paperboy and mailman by only baking them cookies since she can’t afford to give money. Ross has purchased a picture frame for his parents, and Phoebe thinks that the guy in the picture that comes with the frame is her father. When everyone tells her that he’s just a model, she goes to see her grandmother Frances (Audra Lindley), who admits that the man isn’t her father and that her real father is a pharmacist living in Middletown upstate. After she tries searching blindly for the real Frank Buffay, her grandmother finally also gives her the address. She takes Chandler and Joey on a road trip to see him, but she is too nervous that he won’t want to see her and can’t quite make it to his front door before they turn around and go home. Monica is having a Christmas party, but Ross accidentally breaks the radiator causing everyone to sweat profusely througout the party. The superintendant Mr. Treeger shows up at the party, but even Ross’s bribes won’t convince him to fix the broken knob. He claims he can’t get the part until after the holiday… which turns out to be true. He actually loved the cookies Monica gave him, and Ross wasted his bribe money. When Chandler and Joey return, Joey is able to turn the radiator off at the bottom. Rachel is still angry at Ross about the list he made, and he gives her permission to rattle off a list of things she doesn’t like about him, which actually makes her feel better. Since Joey and Chandler procrastinated on Christmas shopping, and wound up spending the day with Phoebe, they are forced to give gifts they purchased at the gas station. 8/25/20
• 034. The One with Russ – 1/4/1996
  • After another horrible review of Joey’s acting work, he decides to give up acting…until he is offered an audtion to play a cab driver in Days of Our Lives. However he quickly gets the feeling that he will need to sleep with the casting agent in order to get the part. Although she is good looking, he struggles about whether he wants to go down that path, even though his agent Estelle says it will be a necessity. He winds up standing up to the agent and storming out, but then she offers him an even bigger part as Dr. Drake Remoray. It is assumed by all that he slept with her to get that larger part. Meanwhile, Monica begins dating Fun Bobby again. Everyone is delighted, but they quickly realize that he is so much fun because he is constantly drinking. Monica expresses her concern so he agrees to quit. Unfortunately this makes him incredibly dull, and to get through the boredom, Monica has to drink quite a bit. Eventually he becomes worried about her drinking and breaks it off, much to her relief. Rachel begins dating a periodontist named Russ (David Schwimmer, billed as Snaro). Everyone except Ross and Rachel and Russ can see a remarkable similarity between Ross and Russ. Once Rachel finally sees it, she has no choice to break it off with him. Later Russ runs into Ross’s other ex-girlfriend Julie and they immediately hit it off. 8/25/20
• 035. The One with the Lesbian Wedding – 1/18/1996
  • After watching Joey premier on Days of Our Lives, Phoebe comes over in a stupor because her client Rose Adelman died on her massage table that day, and Phoebe thinks her spirit has entered her. She periodically has outbursts in a heavy Jewish accent. She looks up Mr. Adelman (Phil Leeds) to find out if Rose had any unfinished business, and he tells her that she always wanted to see everything, so Phoebe begins an odyssey around New York City. Meanwhile Carol tells Ross that she and Susan are going to get married. She hires Monica to cook the food, but Monica gets dramatically off schedule and has to enlist everyone to help, running the operation in militant style. Ross is stubborn and refuses to help, or even go to the wedding. However when Carol comes over and tells him he thinks the wedding is off because her parents aren’t going to come and it lead to a fight with Susan, Ross gives her sound advice that gets the wedding back on track. He even walks her down the aisle. Rachel’s mother Sandra (Marlo Thomas) comes for a visit, and seems to like Rachel’s lifestyle so well that she tells her she is thinking of leaving Rachel’s father. She likens her life to one in which she married her ‘Barry’, while Rachel was able to escape that fate. Rose finally declares that she’s seen everything once she attends the lesbian wedding… and she then magically vanishes. Susan thanks Ross for what he did and gets him to dance with her. All the while Chandler tries to hit on a lesbian woman, while another one (Leah DeLaria) offers to get Phoebe a drink since she now misses Rose. Candace Gingrich is the minister. Symba Smith is Joey’s co-star Chrissy, playing Mrs. Wallace. 12/14/20 
• 036 & 037. The One After the Superbowl – 1/28/1996
  • Ross spots a monkey that resembles Marcel in a commercial for Monkeyshine Beer and is prompted to try and see if he can find out his whereabouts. He visits the zoo where Marcel was left and he is told by zoo administrator Mr. Lipson (Fred Willard) that Marcel had passed away. However he is then tipped off by a zookeeper (Dan Castellaneta) that Marcel had actually been stolen during a break-in and is now working in the movies. Meanwhile Joey gets a letter from a secret admirer named Erika Ford (Brooke Shields). Since she is attractive, Joey agrees to see her, but realizes that she is crazy and truly believes that he is his Days of Our Lives character Dr. Drake Ramoray. This goes well enough for him until she starts getting aggressive at him because of things his character is doing on television. Joey’s friends help him get out of the situation by showing Erika that Joey is on TV at the same time he’s in the room. When Erika can’t fathom this, they tell her that Joey is actually Drake’s twin brother Hans Ramoray, who sends her to Salem to find Jake. Phoebe also meets an attractive new man named Rob (Chris Isaak) who invites her to perform some of her songs at the library for children. She quickly becomes known as the ‘lady who tells the truth’, although most parents find her song subject matter inappropriate. Eventually, although the two have plenty of sparks between them, he has to let her go from the job, but this doesn’t stop the kids from coming to see her sing at the coffee shop. Ross tracks down Marcel working in the Jean-Claude Van Damme (himself) movie Outbreak 2: The Virus Takes Manhattan. They all go to the set of the film, but are unable to get past the security guard (Lawrence A. Mandley), so they sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight and get Marcel to come to them. He is initially excited to see Ross, but the becomes aloof. The monkey trainer (Seth Isler) tells Ross that he’s under a lot pressure but agrees to let Ross take Marcel on a ‘date’. Chandler meets up with an old classmate named Susie Moss (Julia Roberts), who he once embarrassed by pulling up her dress during a school assembly. They seem to hit it off and go out on a double date with Joey and the assistant to the director Cathy (Lisa Roberts Gillan). Marcel had to cancel out on Ross, so he joins them on the date as well. Susie convinces Chandler to wear her underwear to dinner, and then gets revenge on his from his grade school prank by getting him into the bathroom having him strip down to her underwear, and the stealing his clothes and leaving him there. Monica has a crush on Jean-Claude Van Damme and has Rachel ask him out on her behalf, but he asks Rachel out instead. This leads to some passive-aggression from Monca that devolves into a full-fledged slap fight. Rachel finally agrees to break it off with him and get him to go out with Monica. She soon finds out that Rachel was able to get him to switch by telling him that Monica was willing to have a threesome with Drew Barrymore. Monica and Rachel both say goodbye to him on the set, and Ross says his goodbyes with Marcel. Sean Masterson is the Monkeyshine guy. Jim Cummings is the voice of the Monkeyshine announcer. Tahj Mowry is the little boy. Karman Krushcke is the soap opera coma woman. Roark Critchlow is the soap opera doctor. Steven M. Porter is a security guard. Series executive producers Kevin Bright, David Crane, and Marta Kauffman appear as directors. NOTE: This episode originally aired as an hour-long episode after Superbowl XXX, and then aired in two parts in syndication. 12/15/20
• 038. The One with the Prom Video – 2/1/1996
  • Ross is tired of taking phone calls from guys calling for Rachel, but Phoebe assures him that they’ll ultimately wind up together because he is her ‘lobster’, an animal that mates for life. When Ross sees Rachel talking to a guy named Jonathan (Tim Bohn) at Central Perk, he ‘rescues’ her from the conversation, but this only upsets her and she avows that they will never get together after all of the misunderstandings that have hurt her. Meanwhile, now that Joey is making some money, he gives over $800 to Chandler, and a bonus gaudy gold bracelet inscribed to his ‘best bud’. Chandler thinks it is hideous, but wears it out of loyalty to Joey. However when it costs him a date with a girl named Gail (Lou Thornton), who also finds it appalling, Chandler goes on a tirade about how awful the bracelet is, which is overheard by Joey. Chandler tries to beg Joey for forgiveness, promising to always wear it, but realizes that he has actually lost it. He secretly spends $400 to buy a replacement, but then Gunther finds the original in the coffee shop. Chandler convinces Joey that he has bought one for him so that they can be ‘bracelet twins’ which smooths over their situation. Monica is still out of work and worries about making her rent, after she storms out of an interview with a pervert restaurant manager (Patrick Kerr). When her parents come to bring her stuff that they’ve cleared out of her room at home in order to make a gym, Ross convinces her to ask them to borrow some money. However when Jack reminds her that they’ve always told her to put 10 percent of her money in savings, she accepts a loan from Ross. Among the items they find in her belongings is an old video tape of a high school prom that she attended with her boyfriend Roy Gublik (Michael Ray Bower) and Rachel. When Rachel’s date Chip doesn’t show up, Ross comes to the rescue and puts on a tuxedo to take her, but when he comes downstairs, Chip has shown up after all and they head out to the prom, leaving a sad Ross behind. Monica and Rachel never knew that he had tries to do this, and it prompts Rachel to walk up to Ross and plant a huge kiss on him. And this prompts Phoebe to once again declare that Ross is Rachel’s lobster. Monica later watches more of the video and sees her dancing with her father, and then her parents in bed together. 4/8/21
• 039. The One Where Ross and Rachel…You Know – 2/8/1996
  • Ross and Rachel have begun their new relationship and are planning a big night out. Monica’s parents got her a job catering their friend and family eye doctor Richard Burke’s (Tom Selleck) party, and Phoebe volunteers to help since Rachel wants to go out with Ross. Meanwhile, Joey’s option for Days of Our Lives is picked up, so he celebrates by buying recliners for him and Chandler. They find them so comfortable that they do everything they can to not leave them, including having their food delivered across the hall. Every time Ross and Rachel start to become intimate, she starts laughing because after all these years, it seems odd to be kissing him. She apologizes, and they plan another romantic date. However Ross gets called away to work to set up a display at the museum, and she goes with him. When it gets so late that the restaurant is closed, they spend the night making love in the planetarium, only to wake up the next morning in one of the displays being watched by a group of Catholic school children. Monica and Richard hit it off at his party, so she makes an appointment to have her eyes checked by him. They flirt and dance around their attraction, until they finally wind up kissing. Ross finds the relationship crazy, but they go out on a date. When she realizes he’s a grandfather, they decide that the 21-year age gap might be too much, but they just wind up kissing again… until they are interrupted by one of the guys’ pizza deliveries. 4/9/21
• 040. The One Where Joey Moves Out – 2/15/1996
  • Chandler gets rather irritated with Joey when he puts his dirty spoons back in the drawer. However when they attend the brunch party of one his Days of Our Lives co-stars Arik (Stephen Samuels), and Joey seems interested in moving into his apartment when Arik moves out, Chandler becomes clearly upset. Meanwhile Ross and Rachel get a ride with Richard to their father’s birthday party. Monica overhears her mother talking with her friend Emily (Audrie Neenan) about the ‘twinkie’ Richard is dating in the city, while Jack and his friend Bob (Warren Berlinger) congratulate Richard on his accomplishment of getting a nice younger girl. Finally after meeting up with Richard in the bathroom – and then hearing her parents make out in the bathroom while she is in it – Monica finally tells her mother that she and Richard are an item. Both she and her father are aghast. Phoebe talks Rachel into getting a tattoo, but then Rachel realizes that Ross hates tattoos. Phoebe talks her into getting one anyway, so she winds up with a heart on her upper thigh. Phoebe however becomes to scared of the needle, and the most she will sit for is a tiny blue dot, which she refers to as the world from really far away. When Ross sees Rachel’s heart, he is turned on, and they head to her bedroom. Although Chandler apologizes for his argument with Joey about the apartment, Joey makes the decision to move out anyway. They play a game of foosball to see who gets the table and Joey wins. However he decides to let Chandler keep it, and after packing up and leaving, he can’t help but come back for a big hug. Jack stops by to see Monica and tells her that although he wanted to beat up Richard, they wind up having a beer and watching sports, punctuated by telling Monica that she is a big girl and he hopes she knows what she’s doing. Josie DiVincenzo is the tattoo artist. 4/9/21
• 041. The One Where Eddie Moves In – 2/22/1996
  • The group minus Chandler come over to see Joey’s new place, which is full of tacky, expensive, and frivolous purchases. Meanwhile, Phoebe meets a record producer (DeeDee Rescher) who wants to create a demo and video of Smelly Cat. Monica is getting more and more irritated that Ross is constantly at the apartment to see Rachel. Joey starts to get lonely at his apartment so he calls Chandler and they watch Baywatch together on the phone. Although Chandler hopes this means they will ultimately become roommates again, everyone warns him that Joey is very happy in his new apartment. When Joey stops by to see Chandler, he finds that he’s found a new roommate named Eddie Menuek (Adam Goldberg). Joey leaves awkwardly. Phoebe records her song in a studio, and is shocked when the song includes female backup singers. When she finally gets her own copy of the video, she is also shocked at how great she sounds. Everyone else realizes that it isn’t her voice at all. Showdowns then happens between Joey and Chandler, and between Monica and Ross. Joey ends up storming out the apartment because of his jealousy of Eddie, and later, Chandler starts to figure out that Eddie is stranger and more boring than he initially thought. Monica tells Ross that she hated him when they were kids, and is starting to feel the same way, so Ross promises to behave better. Phoebe finally realizes that the singer isn’t her voice in the video, but feels bad for the actual singer, who will never have their own video. Chandler and Joey start pining for each other as they each watch Baywatch alone. Barry Heins is the man with the pie in his hood. Linda Lutz is the horrible woman in the video. 7/30/21
• 042. The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies – 3/21/1996
  • Chandler begins complaining to Phoebe that he and Eddie never have fun together, so she gets them talking. They have a nice, friendly conversation, but Eddie starts to go to dark places when he talks about his ex-girlfriend Tilly (Mary Gallagher), which starts to worry Chandler. When she stops by the apartment when Eddie is out to bring him his fish tank, Eddie starts accusing Chandler of sleeping with her when he returns. Meanwhile, Joey is enjoying much success on Days of Our Lives, but when he brags in an interview with Soap Opera Digest that he writes his own dialogue, he ticks off the show’s writer (Jim Reilly), who kills him off by causing his character to fall down an elevator shaft. Phoebe mentions to Richard that Monica has had a lot of boyfriends, which gets him asking how many. He admits to he that he’s only been with two women, his ex-wife Barbara and now Monica. Then when he mentions that he loves her, they are anxious to make love. Ross and Jennifer get into an argument of their own when she mentions how passionate her relationship with Paulo was, but they make up and want to make love as well. Unfortunately there is only one condom at the apartment, and Monica and Rachel both are vying for it. Ross and Richard spend an uncomfortable moment in their underwear talking about Vietnam movies, while Rachel beats Monica in rock-paper-scissors in order to get the last condom. As Chandler laments his situation with Eddie while he and the others watch Days of Our Lives and learn for the first time that Joey dies onscreen. They all go over to see Joey and try to cheer him up. Chandler goes home and tries to ask Eddie to move out of the apartment, but he is acting stranger than ever, and has placed a Goldfish cracker in the tank. Ross and Richard have another encounter as they both head to the bathroom to get a condom, this time wearing the girls’ robes. Roark Critchlow is Dr. Horton, and Vanessa Sandin is Amber, both in the soap opera. Brian Posehn is the messenger who delivers the script. 7/30/21
• 043. The One Where Eddie Won’t Go – 3/28/1996
  • When Chandler finds Eddie staring at him while he sleeps, he reaches the breaking point and demands that he move out by the end of the day. However, no matter how many times Chandler tells him this, it doesn’t seem to register with Eddie, as he remains in the apartment and keeps getting weirder, culminating with him dehydrating various fruits and water balloons. Meanwhile, Joey’s ego is hurt when his next audition is for Another World as a cab driver. He refuses to audition for the job, but soon he is overwhelmed with bills from everything he has purchased. Ross tries to talk some sense into Joey about going for the audition, but Joey gets angry with him for suggesting taking steps backward. He also learns that Gunther once played a major character in All My Children. He winds up going on the audition, but stumbles through it so badly, that the casting director (Jason Graae) doesn’t give him the part. Movers come to repossess most of Joey’s belongings, but Ross pays the supervisor (Tim Hutchinson) managing the repossession for his porcelain dog.  Phoebe and Monica read a book called Be Your Own Wind Keeper, and they get Phoebe to read it as well. The book talks about how men ultimately control women, but Rachel has trouble applying to real life situations with Ross. The girls then get into an argument amongst themselves with how they’ve all betrayed their ‘sisters’ for other men. They eventually make up at the coffee shop and vow to never suck each other’s wind again. Eddie shows up at Central Perk with a mannequin head and wants to serve chips in it at their next cocktail party, still with no recollection of being asked to move out. That night when Eddie shows up at the apartment, his key doesn’t work and all of things are in the lobby. Joey is back in the apartment, and Chandler says there’s no way Eddie could live there since Joey has lived there for years. Eddie leaves in a confused state, as Joey and Chandler celebrate their reunion and play some foosball with one of Eddie’s dehydrated cantaloupes. Joey and Chandler have to move the dog out into the living room whenever Ross comes over, since Joey really never cared for it. 1/30/22
• 044. The One Where Old Yeller Dies – 4/4/1996
  • Phoebe is puzzled when she sees her friends crying while watching Old Yeller, and they come to find out that her mother used to turn off sad movies before they ended and tell her a happier ending. She begins reviewing the movies she watched as a child, and realizing that the world is a harsh, cruel place. Rachel tries to change her outlook by having her watch It’s a Wonderful Life, but things go so terribly for the characters that she refuses to watch it until the end. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey are looking for someone to go to the Knicks game with, so Monica talks them into asking Richard… if he’ll let them drive his Jaguar. They have a great time, and keep asking him to do things with them, so much so, that Monica starts to get irritated that they are stealing all his time. Joey starts smoking cigars, and Chandler grows a mustache – albeit, a weak one –  She tries to get him away from them as they play Foosball, and find out that the guys see Richard as a father figure instead of a buddy. Ross gets upset because he keeps missing the landmarks in Ben’s life, so he asks if he can keep him for an entire weekend. Carol and Susan jump at the chance to have a weekend to themselves. Ross, however, finds out that Rachel isn’t confident with kids, while Rachel is dismayed that Ross has already planned out their future of getting married, moving out of the city, and having two children. She tells him that she doesn’t want him planning her life, but they confess that they love each other. Rachel becomes more comfortable with caring for a child, and he says his first world ‘hi’ to Rachel… then says ‘goodbye’ to Ross, much to his sheer delight. 1/30/22
• 045. The One with the Bullies – 4/25/1996
  • Monica has been watching the stock reports on TV because one of them has the same initials as her: MEG. Phoebe keeps getting signs – as convoluted as they may be – telling her to go seek out a meeting with her father Frank, so Joey and Rachel agree to ride along with her. Chandler and Ross keep getting picked on by two bullies named Carl (Peter DeLuise) and Arthur (Nicky Katt), who steals Chandler’s hat. To avoid a fight, Ross and Chandler slink out of the coffee shop and go home and mope. Rachel keeps pushing Monica to get a job to keep her off the stock channel, but Monica instead starts dabbling with the stocks. Phoebe and other arrive at the home of Frank, but they are stymied by a tiny, vicious dog and win up spending all day in the car waiting for it to leave. Phoebe then sees it as a sign and decides to leave, only to run over the dog. She nurses it back to health and then feels compelled to return it and try to see Frank. She is told by Frank’s new wife (Laraine Newman) and her son Frank Jr. (Giovanni Ribisi) that Frank had left them years ago. Phoebe has a nice chat with her ‘new’ half-brother Frank and although he is quite an oddball, he and Phoebe agree to stay in touch. Ross and Chandler return to the coffee house, and when the bullies keep picking on them, they finally tell Gunther. The bullies then want to go outside and fight, but since Chandler and Ross are obviously chicken, the bullies tell them not to ever return to the coffee house. They try to enjoy having cappuccinos at home, but Joey tells them that it is ridiculous and offers to go with them. Ross says he won’t rely on Joey to stick up for them, so they return to the coffee house, have a very quick drink, and then rush out… only to run into the bullies. The fighters all agree that no one will be hit above the neck or below the waist, and then they put all of their watches and valuables in Chandler’s hat. Before they can start the fight, two more bullies show up and steal all of their things. They team up to chase down the new bullies and they fight them and retrieve their things… except for Chandler who trips over a jump rope while chasing them. Ross and Chandler and the bullies agree to put aside their differences, but Arthur wont’ return Chandler’s hat, so Chandler tries to swipe it from him and run out, but he again trips onto the coffee shop floor. Monica loses a bundle in the stock market, and asks Rachel to borrow more money. Instead, she is forced to take a job at a 50’s diner called the Moondance Diner. The gang plays Y.M.C.A. on the jukebox, so Monica and her co-workers have to get on the counter and dance. Richard Sexton is the voice of the business news. 6/10/22
• 046. The One with the Two Parties – 5/2/1996
  • The gang is working on throwing a surprise birthday party for Rachel, who just had a horrible experience at her sister’s college graduation because her recently-divorced parents could not stop fighting during the ceremony. Considering this, they others decide not to invite Rachel’s father to the birthday party. As they are all preparing for the party at Monica and Rachel’s place, Rachel’s father Leonard (Ron Leibman) shows up unexpectedly to see Rachel. He sees the party and wants to stay, but then Rachel’s mother Sandra shows up as well. Joey sneaks Dr. Green into the bedroom to put away his coat, while they let Mrs. Green in. While she is in the bathroom, they tell Dr. Green that the party is actually in the guys’ apartment and that Monica and Rachel’s place is merely the staging area. As guests arrive they filter most of the guests into Monica’s apartment, while Chandler gathers most of the hot women into his apartment. Ross brings Rachel home from dinner, and they have a surprise greeting in her apartment… then Monica sends her over to party #2 for another surprise… namely, that her father is there. Everyone spends the bulk of the party trying to keep Rachel’s parents from knowing that the other is there. Unfortunately, as Rachel goes back and forth to visit with them, each of them spends most of the conversation complaining about the other. While Chandler has a woman who thinks he’s someone named Dennis who wants to make out with him. Monica is boring everyone to tears with her party games. People start realizing that the guys’ part is more fun, so Phoebe starts helping guests sneak over to that party by creating diversions. While Monica finally realizes that guests are leaving her party for the other one and Phoebe tries to explain to her that they work hard all week and need a good time, Rachel laments to Chandler that this will her life from now on: seeing her parents separately because they can’t get along. As guests start to file out at the end of the night, Joey diverts Mrs. Green’s mother by giving her a passionate kiss while they sneak Dr. Green out. After everyone is gone, they light candles on Monica’s flan and she blows out her candles, right before a volleyball smashes the flan. Nancy Rubin and Lewis Dix are guests that sneak to the guys’ party. 6/10/22
• 047. The One with the Chicken Pox – 5/9/1996
  • A naval officer named Ryan (Charlie Sheen) who Phoebe dates every couple of years when his submarine resurfaces and he comes to New York, is about to come up again and Phoebe is excited to get together again. However, before he arrives, she comes down with a case of the chicken pox that she caught from Ben, so their plans are nixed. However, he still wants to see her and decides he’s rather get chicken pox that have to avoid touching her. The two spend the week together trying not to scratch, covered in Calamine lotion. Their friends try to help by taping oven mitts to their hands, but they eventually get them free and begins scratching each other again. Meanwhile, when Monica remakes the bed in her room after Richard has already done it because she wants the tag to be in the bottom right corner. This leads them to a discussion of Monica’s quirks. While Joey is out of work, Chandler offers him a job to come work on another team at his office. Since Joey knows nothing about processing, Chandler encourages him to use his acting talent to fake it. Joey takes it too far by creating an entire character for him to imitate, Joseph the processing guy, with daughters Ashley and Brittany and another one on the way with his wife Karen. This also leads to Joseph sucking up to Mr. Douglas (Dorien Wilson) and criticizing Chandler when he tries to delay turning in a report so his team members can enjoy the holiday weekend. Joseph also blames Chandler for dropping the ball on a project that Joey screwed up. Chandler tries to fire Joey but can’t because he works in a different group. When he sees how furious Chandler is, Joey agrees to quit… but laments the fact that he will miss Joseph. Monica keeps sharing her neurotic quirks, but Richard has a hard time thinking of one. Finally he admits that he has to sleep on the west side of the bed because he grew up in California, and the ocean has to be on the correct side. Ryan departs New York, and Rachel asks Ross if he will dress in a Navy uniform. Phoebe and Ryan say their goodbyes, and admit that it was fun even though they couldn’t do anything she had planned. Ross shows up at Central Perk in his Naval uniform and tries to carry her out, but she keeps forgetting things, so he finally plops her on the couch and tells her to meet him upstairs. Mary-Pat Green is Jeannie. Steve Park is Scott Alexander. 10/2/22
• i048. The One with Barry and Mindy’s Wedding – 5/16/1996
  • Joey gets a audition to be in a movie directed by Warren Beatty. Joey has to kiss the male main character onscreen, and Beatty tells him that he is a good actor, but a bad kisser. Joey practices on Phoebe and does fine, so Monica suggests that maybe he just needs some practice on men. Joey tries to get Chandler or Ross to help him practice, but they both refuse. Meanwhile, Rachel agrees to be the Maid of Honor at Mindy (now played by Jana Marie Hupp) and Barry’s wedding but is both nervous about being in the same room with all of that old crowd, as well as the deep pink bridesmaid’s dress she has to wear. Phoebe asks Monica if she ever thinks about marrying Richard, so Monica later asks Richard if she sees her in his future. He does indeed, but doesn’t see himself having any more kids, as it would make him about 70 years old by the time the kids reach college. Monica agrees to table the conversation. Chandler strikes up a relationship with a girl in a chatroom on the internet. They get along terrifically although they haven’t met yet, but then Chandler finds out that she is married and decides to break it off. She however wants to meet him, and Phoebe talks Chandler into doing it, stating that she might be with the wrong guy, and he might be with the right guy. At the wedding, everyone seems to be picking on Rachel, especially when she walks down the aisle with her dress stuck in her underwear and her butt is sticking out. She says she hadn’t been that embarrassed since she was forced to sing Copacabana in front of the entire eighth grade. Two of the guests, Mr. (Jackie Bright) and Mrs. Weinburg (Fritzi Burr) mentions that it is good to see her up and about. When she questions Mindy and Barry what that means, they explain that Barry’s family told people that she went insane with Syphilis. While at the wedding, the question of children comes up again between Monica and Richard, and Monica starts to say she can live without kids, but when she sees two little kids dancing, she tells Richard that not having kids is going to be a deal breaker after all. During the Best Man toast, most of it involves his friend Joel (Peter Spears) poking fun of Rachel for running out on Barry at the last wedding. Ross steps in and defends Rachel for her to come here. Rachel starts to run out of the room but stops at the band and starts singing Copacabana. As Richard and Monica are dancing, that if he has to, he will have kids to keep Monica in his life. Monica tells him that he is a wonderful man, but since he said “if I have to” multiple times, she thinks they need to break up because she knows he really doesn’t want a baby. Back at Central Perk, Chandler nervously waits to see the girl of his dreams… and it turns out to be Janice, whom he rushes to and kisses. Later, Ross finally decides to be a good friend and gives Joey a huge kiss. Joey tells him that he is a really good friend, but also that the audition was that morning, and he didn’t get. Mindy Sterling is the wedding planner. 10/2/22

SEASON 3

• 049. The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy – 9/19/1996
  • Monica is suffering from insomnia and depression after her breakup with Richard. Chandler is continuing to date Janice, even though she is clearly getting on Joey’s nerves. Eventually Chandler confronts him, and he admits that he doesn’t like her. Chandler gets angry and immediately tells Janice how Joey feels, so she arranges to have a ‘day of fun’ with Joey. When they return, Joey tells Chandler that he was wrong and now he really likes her. Chandler can see through the facade and gets Joey to admit that he really doesn’t like her after all. Joey again admits it, but says that he proved that he can spend all day with Janice, and he will do so whenever necessary for the sake of his friendship with Chandler. Meanwhile, Rachel thinks her love life with Ross might be getting a little stale so she asks him what his fantasy is. Once she tells him that she might be willing to do it, he tells her that he’s always fantasized about Princess Leia’s outfit with Jabba the Hutt in the movie Return of the Jedi. Ross is taken aback when he finds out that Rachel shared this with her friends, but she explains that it is normal and healthy to have friends to share things with. Ross proposes to Chandler that they begin sharing their love life secrets as well. When Chandler tells Ross that sometimes when he’s making love, his mother will enter into his thought, Ross is grossed out… and tells everyone else. Phoebe tries to cheer up Monica with a massage and having her go to her ‘happy place’ but the effort fails. Everything she does keeps reminding her of Richard, and it only gets worse when the Civil War video tapes she ordered for him show up. Monica’s father then comes to check up on her, and he tells her that Richard is also a big mess, even more so than when he and his wife Barbara got divorced. This enough for Monica to cheer up a bit and finally get some sleep. Rachel fulfills Ross’s fantasy by dressing up as Princess Leia. Unfortunatley, thanks to chandler, Ross’s mother shows up in the fantasy and ruins the whole thing. 1/27/23
• 050. The One Where No One’s Ready – 9/26/1996
  • Ross is scheduled to give a speech at a formal event at the museum, but when he arrives to meet everyone at Monica’s apartment, no one is dressed and ready. Chandler and Joey are trying to determine if a glass of liquid in the refrigerator is cider, but when Joey tastes it, it turns out to be fat. With only about twenty minutes before they have to leave, Ross becomes even more concerned that Rachel hasn’t picked out her outfit yet, and Monica becomes obsessed with a message left by Richard. She isn’t sure if the message was left before or after they broke up, so she finally breaks down and calls him. Concerned about the message she left, she uses Richard’s code to call and listen to the message. She also hears a message left by another woman saying that she enjoyed the weekend. Monica suspects it may be his daughter Michelle, so she calls her to listen to her voice. It turns out that it was Michelle after all, but then Monica makes the mistake of telling her how she listened to the message. Phoebe shows up ready for the evening, so she becomes Ross’s ‘star’. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler get into an argument over a chair that Joey took over when Chandler went to the bathroom. They wind up tussling and splattering Phoebe with hummus. As Rachel continues to find an acceptable outfit, Chandler goes home to get ready… and steals all of Joey’s underwear. Joey finally gets up to go change, but he takes the chair cushions with him, then returns wearing all of Chandler’s clothes. Phoebe attached a big bow to cover the hummus stain, and Ross loses his patience and screams at Rachel to get ready. Humiliated by this treatment, she puts on her sweatpants and decides to stay home and answer her correspondence rather than go with Ross. He winds up pleading with her that he wants her there, and Joey suggests that he prove how much Rachel means to him by drinking the fat. Ross agrees to do it, but Rachel stops him before he can actually take a drink and agrees to go. Afraid that Michelle will tell her father about the phone calls, she calls and tells Richard what she did and blames it on her period… but then realizes that she created a new outgoing message for him. Ross gathers everyone into cabs, but when he sees how good Rachel looks, he isn’t so interested in being on time anymore, especially since, like Joey, she is going commando too. At the dinner at the museum, a London cohort of Ross’s named Sherman Whitfield (Peter Dennis) takes Chandler’s seat while he is in the bathroom, nearly causing another meltdown by Chandler resulting in him demanding Whitfield’s underwear. 1/29/23
• 051. The One with the Jam – 10/3/1996
  • Joe dislocates his shoulder while jumping on the bed. In order to get Richard off of her mind, she starts baking massive amounts of jam, which Joey quickly becomes addicted to. Phoebe has had a man named Malcolm (David Arquette) stalking her, so whe confronts him, only to find out that he is an ex-boyfriend of her twin sister Ursula’s and has mistook Phoebe for her. Chandler starts asking for relationship advice from Ross and Rachel when he accidentally makes Janice feel like he called her fat. He asks specifically for advice on how to stop cuddling at night so he can sleep with some space. Rachel insists that she and Ross never stop cuddling, but Ross then tells him privately to hug her and roll her away. When Chandler attempts this, his arm gets stuck under her and knocks her out of bed, injuring her arm as well. Everyone thinks Phoebe is crazy when she starts hanging around with Malcolm. The two of them get closer and he gets rid of all of his stalking material like his night vision goggles, binoculars, and stalking journal. Monica gives Joey the bad news that she’s done making jam and is going to move on to having a baby through artificial insemination. As she searches through the potential donors, she comes across one profile that belongs to Joey. Phoebe gets close enough to Malcolm to actually make out with him, but then starts to wonder if he is still stalking Ursula. To find out, she starts stalking him in the subway tunnels, but when he catches her in the act, he is surprised that she doesn’t trust him. However, she then sees that Ursula is in fact nearby, so he has to admit that he was stalking her again. Phoebe breaks it off with him, but vows to help him stop stalking Ursula, telling him that he can stalk her instead. When Rachel sees Janice’s bandaged wrist, she tells Rachel how Chandler was trying Ross’s trick. When this leads to the silent treatment from Rachel, Ross yells at Chandler to let him know that women talk to each other. Monica makes her decision on the sperm donor, but Joey tells her that he’s surprised that she didn’t pick a blonde guy. He goes on to tell her about the family life he envisioned for her with her husband Hoyt and three children and backyard pool. This gets Monica to start having second thoughts about the artificial insemination. She and Joey then spot Malcolm peering in the window. Joey finishes up the jam, with most of it on his face. 7/10/23
• 052. The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel – 10/10/1996
  • Joey appears on the infomercial TV show Amazing Discoveries helping to introduce the new Milkmaster 2000 portraying a customer named Kevin alongside the host. Later, Joey’s agent Estelle gets him a good audition, but Phoebe takes the message while she is playing hide and seek with Chandler but forgets to give Joey the message. To make up for it, she pretends to be Joey’s agent as well as the agent’s secretary Caitlin. She seems to be more effective than Estelle and is actually able to get him the audition and the job. Meanwhile, Ross is upset when Carol and Susan drop off Ben (Charlie Allen and Jack Allen) for Ross to babysit and he is playing with a Barbie doll. Ross starts trying to get it away from him and brining in a G.I. Joe doll. Chandler tries to get out of a date with Janice because he starts feeling ‘trapped’ after Janice takes food off of his plate. He wants to get over the fear of commitment, go through the ‘tunnel’ and get to the other side. He illustrates this by giving Janet a drawer in his apartment. She starts to get freaked out as well, especially when Chandler mentions the prospect of her actually moving in. She winds up running out on him, and he chases her down the street and begs her to come back to him. Monica and Rachel try to comfort him and tell him to run into her and act aloof. He tries this, but when he starts talking about visiting another girl in the neighborhood, she thinks he is seeing someone else and is a jerk, or is faking it to make her jealous… and is still a jerk. When Phoebe has to tell Joey that he’s lost some jobs, she wants to quit helping him because she hates disappointing him. Joey thinks that her brutal honesty will help him, so she agrees to continue on. When the reasons for him getting turned down are too brutal, Joey decides to go back to Estelle since her notes are too depressing for him. When Chandler reports his run-in with Janice, they all agree he has likely ruined things. However, Janet calls and wants to give him another chance when Chandler apologizes for acting so strange. Monica and Rachel are both jealous because they think a man would have already cheated on them if this had happened to them. When Ross returns Ben to Carol and Susan, he sends home the G.I. Joe that Ben has chosen. Monica then teases him in front of the ladies since he used to dress up in his mother’s clothes when he was a kid and call himself Bea. Edo Azran is young Ross. Sierra Dawn Hill is young Monica. 7/10/23
• 053. The One with Frank Jr. – 10/17/1996
  • Joey and Chandler have noted that they need a place to put their mail, so Joey begins constructing a giant entertainment center with its own mail slot. Chandler is incredulous at the amount of lumber he has brought into the apartment for the project. Meanwhile, Phoebe plans to have her brother Frank Jr. come spend the weekend with her so they can get to know each other. Chandler talks to the gang about the list that she and Janice made indicating their ‘freebie’ celebrities that they would be allowed to sleep with. Ross works on constructing his own list after Rachel spouts off with her hers right off the top of her head. He initially wants to include Isabella Rossellini, but then realizes that he has very little chance with her since she is international. Chandler gets more and more annoyed with the entertainment center when Joey cuts Chandler’s door in half and nearly kills him with his drill. Then when Joey shows Monica how to remove a tile from her bathroom, she insists that he do the entire floor, keeping him from finishing the job at his own place. Phoebe has trouble connecting with Frank as they have nothing to talk about, and then Frank starts showing her how he can melt things. When Phoebe takes Frank with her into the massage parlor and set him up with his own massage therapist Jasmine, it goes sour as well when Frank grabs Jasmine’s butt, thinking that they are supposed to have sex. Phoebe is furious and is ready to take him home, thinking that the weekend was a failure, but Frank tells Phoebe what a great time he had connecting with her. Ross finishes his ‘freebie’ list and has it laminated to make it official. The entire gang meet at Joey and Chandler’s apartment to erect the entertainment center, only to realize that it is so long that it covers half of each of the doors into their room. Isabella Rossellini (herself) comes into Central Perk, and even though Ross has taken her off his list, Rachel gives him permission to go for it. Ross goes to talk to her and tells her about the list, but when she asks to see it, he is forced to tell her that he removed her because she was too ‘international.’ She tells him that he had been on her list at one time too, but she had recently removed her for another nerdy guy in the coffee shop. Chandler bets Joey $5 that he can’t fit in the entertainment center, and when Joey proves that he can, Chandler locks him inside. 11/6/23
• 054. The One with the Flashback – 10/31/1996
  • While hanging out with the entire gang, Janice asks if anyone in the group had ever slept with anyone in the group. They claim that no one ever has outside of Ross and Rachel, but when she asks if anyone ‘almost’ has, they all change the subject quickly. The show flashes back to three years earlier to when Phoebe still lives with Monica but has been gradually moving her things out and staying with her grandmother. Chandler is still looking for a roommate after several failed attempts, and has a photographer named Eric (John Lehr) lined up along with an actor named Joey who seems obtuse. Ross is having some issue in his marriage and is convinced that Carol just needs someone close to him like Ross has his friends. She has recently met a girl named Susan with whom she seems to enjoy spending time. Eric proves to be a perfect candidate as he photographs fashion models, and his sister the porn star has a beach house that Chandler can use when he wants. When Chandler shows Joey the apartment, Chandler tries to rush him through the motions, and is offended when Joey tells Chandler that he’s okay with the ‘gay thing’. As Joey is leaving, he and Monica spot each other and have an instant attraction. Joey heads down to the bar that is going to soon be converted to a coffee shop to meet up with Monica. That night Rachel is in the bar with her friends Kiki and Betsy (Marissa Ribisi), talking about how she is getting ready to get married to Barry. She would like to have a final fling with a random stranger, and Chandler overhears this, but when he approaches her, she blows him off immediately. The ultra-snobbish Rachel and Monica recognize each other from high school, and after Rachel shows off her ring to Monica and brags about her upcoming nuptials, Monica predicts to Chandler that she’ll never see her again. As Eric is moving into the apartment, Mr. Heckles tells him that he is Chandler’s new roommate. Eric thinks it is odd but moves on when Heckles walks into Chandler’s apartment like it is his. As Joey is the next in line, he starts moving in. Monica flirts with him heavily and invites him in for some lemonade. Joey promptly removes all of his clothes, which freaks Monica out and immediately turns her off Joey. Monica finally notices that Phoebe’s bed is gone, and Phoebe is forced to tell her that she’s moved out because she needs to live in a world where people are allowed to spill. Chandler realizes that he and Joey have some common ground when they drink beer from Joey’s cooler while watching Baywatch. When Chandler stops by Monica’s to borrow some beer, he finds a depressed Monica in a towel, depressed that Phoebe has moved out, questioning if she is that hard to live with… and if this is why she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Ross finds out that Carol is a lesbian and that his marriage is over. He stops by the bar and runs into Phoebe, who is locking up. Ross and Phoebe wind up kissing and nearly have sex on the pool table, but it is spoiled when he hits his head on the light, gets his foot stuck in a pocket, and lays on top of some balls. They realize that this probably isn’t the best idea. Chandler comforts Monica by holding her while she is wearing just a towel, and he tells her how nice it feels. However, he is only referring to the towel material. He heads out to finish watching Baywatch with Joey. Chandler, Joey, and Monica the head to the bar, where Ross meets Joey for the first time. Joey thinks it is cool that Ross’s wife is a lesbian. Rachel returns to the bar and tells Chandler that she wants him just one time and the two kiss. However, it is all in Rachel’s head as she drives home with her friends and tells them that she is just thinking of Barry when she misses the exit. Christy L. Medrano is the waitress. 11/6/23
• 055. The One with the Racecar Bed – 11/7/1996
  • Janice’s husband Gary Litman (Mark Cohen) is using their divorce as an advertising gimmick for his Mattress King showroom. Although Phoebe thinks that shopping there would be betraying Chandler, Monica is lured in by the deals and winds up purchasing a mattress. The delivery man (Rosey Brown) shows up with the bed and Phoebe sings for it, but because she is distracted with Joey’s bloody nose, she doesn’t see them bring in the bed, which turns out to be a child’s race car bed. Meanwhile, Ross reluctantly agrees to go out to dinner with Rachel and her father because Rachel hopes they will start getting along better. However, after Ross sees that Mr. Green has only left a 4% tip, he throws down an extra $20 bill. When Mr. Green sees this, he berates Ross and force him to cover the bill. Joey takes on the job as a teacher for a class at the Learning Extension on how to act in soap operas. He also gets an audition to play Nick the boxer on the soap opera All My Children. However, he realizes there is a conflict of interest when his student Cal (Khalil Kain) comes to him asking for pointers on how he should play the very same role as Nick for his audition. In order to make sure Cal fails so he can get the part himself, he tells Cal to play the part as ‘super gay’. This winds up backfiring when they like this angle and give Cal a two-year contract opposite Susan Lucci. Joey tells this story to his class and is nearly reduced to tears, but the class applauds because they think it is just Joey demonstrating his acting. Rachel insists that she and Ross host a brunch for her father so that they can make up and start getting along. Things get off to a rocky start as Mr. Green hurls the insults right off the bat, but soon they find common ground in making fun of Rachel’s chiropractor and the fact that she’s never bought renter’s insurance. Although Chandler enjoys playing on the racecar bed, Joey accompanies Monica to the Mattress King to demand their money back. The clerk, who is dressed as a court jester (Simon Harvey), says that she can’t get a refund since she had signed for the bed. Joey demands to see the Mattress King himself and ends up spying him making out with Janice in the back room. Shashi Bhatia and Steven Harad are two of Joey’s acting students. 3/17/24
• 056. The One with the Giant Poking Device – 11/14/1996
  • Phoebe has a toothache, but fears that after it has happened several times in the past, someone she knows will die while she is in the dentist chair. When her pain becomes unbearable, her friends insist that she go anyway. Meanwhile, Joey tells everyone about seeing Janice kissing Gary, but decides that they shouldn’t tell him. However, when he plans to buy an expensive gift for her birthday, Joey, after suggesting a Barium Enema as a gift, tells Chandler what he saw. Chandler is devastated and confronts Janice about it, and she confesses that it is true. As she hyperventilates, she tells Chandler that she loves both him and Barry but hasn’t decided who she is going to choose. After Phoebe’s appointment is over, she checks on all of her friends and thinks that the curse has been broken as everyone is still alive. Then Joey spots the ugly naked guy across from their apartment and notices that he hasn’t moved in hours. Since they’re not sure if he is dead, they decide to fashion a giant poking device out of chopsticks to check. When Ross has to go into work to rearrange a display that has been vandalized by kids, he plans to leave Ben with Monica to babysit. Rachel asks why she can’t babysit, and since Monica assures him she will be with them the entire time, Ross lets Rachel be in charge of the babysitting. When Monica plays ‘airplane’ with Ben, he hits his head on the ceiling and develops a bump. Monica and Rachel try to hide it by dressing him in a stuffed animal’s raincoat and hat. Ross finds the bump anyway and tells Rachel that it is okay and that it happens easily. However, he tells her that she needs to watch him constantly, so Rachel tells him that it was actually Monica who caused the bump. Ross then messes with Monica by telling her that Ben has forgotten the alphabet and isn’t walking correctly, making Monica panic that he seriously injured him. When Ross finally lets her off the hook, she chases Ross around the apartment until he bumps his own head on a pole in the apartment. After Joey gives Chandler the advice to step aside from being with Janet so that she has a chance to keep her family together, Chandler does just that and tells her that he has to let her go because he doesn’t want to be the guy who broke up a family. Janice agrees, but tells Chandler that he is her soulmate, prompting Chandler to have second thoughts and try to hold onto her so she can’t leave, even stealing her shoe. Everyone convenes at Monica and Rachel’s place to poke the ugly naked guy with the device. Even though he swats at the poking device, and they determine that he is alive, they can’t seem to stop poking… until the guy stand up and shows them his ‘poking device.’ 3/17/24
• 057. The One with the Football – 11/21/1996
  • As Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are preparing Thanksgiving dinner, Ross, Joey, and Chandler are watching football on TV. At halftime, Joey suggests that they go to the park and play some football, but Chandler is too depressed over losing Janice. Additionally, Ross and Monica tell everyone that their mother has insisted they not play football together due to the fact that twelve years earlier, they were playing football at Thanksgiving for the coveted Geller Cup when Monica elbowed Ross in the face and broke his nose. At that point, their father threw the Geller Cup into the lake. They finally all agree to play and head outdoors, where Ross and Monica declare themselves team captain. Monica picks Joey and Phoebe for her teammates, while Ross gets Chandler and Rachel, who is upset about being the last one picked. It is obvious why since she can’t catch the ball, and she keeps getting sent to ‘go long’. While they are playing, an attractive Dutch woman named Margha (Susanna Voltaire aka Susanna Midnight) shows up to watch the game. Although Joey had planned on asking her out, he agrees to let Chandler have her since he is already depressed about losing Janice. However, when Chandler takes issue with Joey ‘letting’ him have her, they decide to compete for her attention. Each of them try to impress her on the football field, but Chandler finally gets annoyed and asks Joey to explain where Dutch people are from. When Chandler tells him that it is the Netherlands, Joey confuses it with Peter Pan’s Never-Neverland. With the score tied, Phoebe scores a touchdown, but Ross claims that the ball was snapped after the timer went off. This leads to an argument between Ross and Monica, and she challenges Ross to switch Rachel and Joey’s sides so that it can be the boys against the girls, and she can claim a decisive victory over Ross. She sweetens the pot by revealing that she swam out to retrieve the Geller Cup from the lake and is now putting it on the line. In order to get Joey and Chandler to focus on the game instead of Margha, he asks her which of them she would choose. She chooses Chandler, but then he gloats so obnoxiously that she walks away from them all. Coming from behind, Monica’s team is able to nearly catch up by having Phoebe flash her breasts at Chandler every time he gets the ball. They wind up only down by two points, and Rachel convinces Monica to actually throw her the ball since the guys are only guarding Phoebe. Surprisingly, Rachel manages to catch the ball and claim victory. However, the guys point out that Rachel never crossed into the end zone before tossing the ball aside, making it still a live ball. Both teams jump at grabbing the ball, but eventually Joey, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe go upstairs to eat their Thanksgiving dinner, while Ross and Monica remain in the park in the dark fighting over the ball, just as it begins to snow. Eventually, they agree to call it a draw and throw the Geller Cup into the garbage chute. After Ross walks away, Monica yells down at Phoebe who is in the basement garbage to retrieve it. Ross is also heard making his way to the garbage as well. 7/27/24
• 058. The One Where Rachel Quits – 12/12/1996
  • Rachel is told by Gunther that Terry wants her to go through the waitress training again, much to Rachel’s annoyance. Meanwhile, Ross, while attempting to show Chandler how to correctly play racquetball, accidentally knocks a little Brown Bird girl named Sarah Tuttle (Mae Whitman) down the stairs while she is trying to sell cookies in the building. As his friends make fun of him for what he did, Ross feels terrible and goes to visit Sarah in the hospital with her broken leg. When she tells him how she had hoped to earn a trip to Space Camp by selling the cookies, Ross springs into action to try and sell the cookies for her. This means getting Monica hooked on the cookies once again after she had beaten her struggles with weight many years ago. Joey gets a job selling Christmas trees on a tree lot, but Phoebe finds the process of cutting down trees and dressing them up for humans to be disgusting. Joey convinces her that the trees are serving their purpose of making people happy, so Phoebe nearly gets on board… until she sees old trees going into the chipper. Then she starts interrupting Joey’s sales so she can try and talk customers into buying old trees to save them. As Rachel becomes more and more convinced that she’s not cut out to be a waitress, Joey and Chandler try to convince her that as long as she keeps the job, she will not have the fear of trying to find a job in the fashion designing field. Rachel finally agrees to cut the cord and quits the job at Central Perk, making Gunther very sad. After Ross figures out that the best place to sells cookies is at college dorms, he exceeds his original goal, which he hopes will be enough to send Sarah to Space Camp. When he arrives at the Brown Bird meeting with the little girls, he finds that one of them has surpassed his number, so he buys up enough to cover the difference, although the troop leader (Romy Rosemont) finds it suspicious. Unfortunately, another girl has gone way above by having her attractive sister visit the docks to sell them. Joey arrives with good news that his father was working at Fortunata Fashions on a plumbing job and found out about a perfect job for Rachel. She goes in for the interview but fears that she bombed it. When everyone goes back to Monica and Rachel’s place, they surprise Phoebe with the place full of old trees that they saved for her. Rachel gets a call and is informed that she got the job at Fortunata. She serves her last cup of coffee at Central Perk to Chandler, who has actually ordered tea. She swears she has made her last pot of coffee. However, over at Fortunata, her new boss Mr. Kaplan, Jr. (Shelley Berman) trains her on how to prepare coffee for the office. Ross has Sarah come over to Chandler and Joey’s place, where they have transformed the apartment into a space station for her to enjoy. Kyla Pratt is Brown Bird Charla Nichols aka the scrud. Sandra Gould is the voice of the old woman who threatens to call the police on Ross. Gene Crane is the tree customer.  7/28/24
• 059. The One Where Chandler Can’t Remember Which Sister – 1/9/1997
  • After Chandler sees Janice skating with her husband at Rockerfeller Center, he starts to feel depressed again. Ross suggests that he will start to feel better after attending Joey’s birthday party the next night. Meanwhile, everyone starts to get annoyed with a man upstairs who makes a lot of noise, particularly when he has a woman guest over. Phoebe goes up to talk to him, and although their voices are muffled, it is clear from the inflection in their words that he wins her over. Rachel starts to get frustrated with her new job at Fortunata, where she is saddled with menial task like untangling coat hangers. She laments this to Monica while at the Moondance Diner, so Monica has very little sympathy for working below one’s ability, but a customer named Mark (Steven Eckholdt) overhears their conversation and offers to get Rachel an interview at Bloomingdale’s. Rachel comes home excited, but Ross isn’t too happy about a strange man offering to help. Joey verifies that this clearly means that Mark wants to sleep with her. At Joey’s party, Chandler gets drunk on Jello shots and winds up making out with one of Joey’s sisters but has no idea which one. An angry Joey confronts him and tells him that it was Mary Angela, but Chandler saves himself by telling Joey that he really likes her and wasn’t just using her. Joey then becomes excited about the relationship, although Chandler is now too scared to tell the truth that he not only doesn’t want a relationship but can’t even identify her. He makes a plan to go over to Joey’s family house and ask for Mary Angela and then tell her the truth in the nicest way possible. When he arrives, it is Joey who answers the door and directs him to the dining room to see Mary Angela. Unfortunately, the room is full of sisters who all look alike. Chandler tries to asks questions of Mary Angela to figure out which one she is, but Joey’s Nonna (Penny Santon) keeps answering for her. Finally, one of the sisters asks Chandler to excuse himself and meet her in the hallway. She starts kissing him, so he assumes this is Mary Angela, but then she says he has the softest… just like Mary Angela says. She reveals herself to be Mary Therese (Mimi Lieber), and Mary Angela (Holly Gagnier) walks in and sees them. They all run and tell Joey, who confronts Chandler. He apologizes profusely and says he’d never intentionally hurt him or his family. Joey forgives him, but tells him that he needs apologize to Mary Angela. When he still can’t identify her, Joey allows his sister Cookie (Alex Maneses) to punch him. Phoebe winds up going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs, and after they come back from their date, everyone in the apartment can hear them having sex afterward. Ross stops by the Bloomingdale’s office to apologize to Rachel for acting so jealous. She forgives him, and then Mark comes in and tells her that her new boss Joanna liked her and gave her the job. Instead of hugging Ross, Rachel hugs Mark. Later, Monica and Rachel tell Phoebe how they could her upstairs, and Phoebe tells them that she really likes the guy and thinks that he likes her. At that exact moment, they can then all hear the guy having sex upstairs again. The guys all go upstairs to confront the guy, but the muffled sounds indicate that he manages to win them over very quickly. K.J. Steinberg and Lisa Melilli are Joey’s sisters Gina and Dina. 11/27/24
• 060. The One with All the Jealousy – 1/16/1997
  • Jennifer starts her first day at the new Bloomingdale’s job. Chandler invites Ross to go to a bachelor party for his cousin Albert. Ross starts to feel more jealousy about Mark when he takes Rachel to lunch on her first day. Joey gets an audition for a Broadway musical version of A Tale of Two Cities. Monica has a crush on a busboy at Moondance named Julio (Carlos Gomez), and after he reads her some of his poetry, the two make out in the diner after work. Joey’s director (Obba Babatunde) likes Joey’s audition and says they want to see him for the callback, but Joey becomes nervous when he tells Joey that he will have to dance a little bit, especially since Joey has really beefed up his dance experience on his resume. His only actual dance experience comes from the standard horrible dancing in the dance clubs. Chandler hires stripper Crystal Chandelier for Albert’s party. Monica tells her friends about her night making love with Julio, and the mentions how he had to stop in the middle to jot down a poem called The Empty Vase. Although Monica doesn’t see it, everyone else realizes this is an allusion to how he feels about Monica’s emptiness. After Ross calls Rachel at the office and finds that Mark is in the office with her, he begins sending her flowers, stuffed animals, and a serenading barbershop quartet as a way of marking his territory, which is quickly recognized by Mark. Rachel is furious about it and confronts Ross, who becomes even more angry when he finds out that Mark told Rachel that this is the kind of thing that jealous boyfriends do. Joey points out that Mark is a genius as he is quickly going to become Rachel’s confidant, and as she complains about Ross to him, he will be gradually stealing her away. Ross goes to Rachel’s office to see her, and when he overhears Mark flirting with another girl at the office named Nancy (Hillary Matthews) who he has started dating, Ross thinks the girl is Rachel and creates a huge scene. Joey’s director tells Joey that the dance instructor won’t make it to the audition and asks Joey to fill in for him since he has the most experience. Although the steps seem simple to the director, they look Greek to Joey. When Phoebe sees that Monica is buying Julia giant empty vase, Phoebe tells her what the poem really means. She confronts Julio about the poem and breaks it off with him, but Julio tells her that the poem wasn’t about her… but is about all American women in general. Joey shows the director what he has taught the class, which is just the terrible nightclub dancing that he knew. The director tells them all to watch Joey, who then just simply runs out of the audition. Rachel and Joey have a talk about his jealousy, and he admits that he loves Rachel so much that he is afraid that someone could take her away, remembering the fact that he was married for eight years before Carol left him for another woman. Rachel gets to experience this jealous for herself when he tells her that he made a playdate with the stripper Crystal Chandelier since she has a son Ben’s age. She gives Ross a giant kiss before he leaves, hoping that this will deter him… until Chandler points out that she got Ross all nice and horny and then sent him off to a stripper. Monica sends Julio the barbershop quartet to sing about what a butt-munch he is. Wendy Schall is Monica’s co-worker Jeannine. 11/27/24

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